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(Christian Science Monitor)   Army uses "Xena: Warrior Princess" to help design better female body armor. I'll be in my bunker   (csmonitor.com) divider line 73
    More: Spiffy, US Army, Airborne Division, female soldiers, military officials, artistic inspiration, product manager  
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11534 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jul 2012 at 11:45 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-10 09:56:33 AM
Early rejected prototype:

a4.ec-images.myspacecdn.com
 
2012-07-10 11:48:27 AM

DjangoStonereaver: Early rejected prototype:

[a4.ec-images.myspacecdn.com image 287x350]


But that armor covers all the areas that anyone might possibly strike at why would you need anything more?
 
2012-07-10 11:49:53 AM
Tank Girl approves
media.comicvine.com

hotlinked
 
2012-07-10 11:50:52 AM
Why would you need armor in the kitchen?
 
2012-07-10 11:51:34 AM
www.newfrontiernews.com

Part of the new gay and lesbian Army.
 
2012-07-10 11:52:07 AM
So, the armor is white porcelain finish to match the stove and the sink?
 
2012-07-10 11:52:08 AM

KrispyKritter: Tank Girl approves


hotlinked


I forsee great things in this thread.
 
2012-07-10 11:52:40 AM

Anenu: DjangoStonereaver: Early rejected prototype:

[a4.ec-images.myspacecdn.com image 287x350]

But that armor covers all the areas that anyone might possibly strike at why would you need anything more?


In before:
"Heat Seeking Moisture Missile. "
" Single Barreled Pump Action Yogurt Rifle "
etc.....
 
2012-07-10 11:53:46 AM
Are the kitchens in the army so dangerous that women need body armor?
 
2012-07-10 11:53:55 AM
Yet there are engineering challenges. The more curves the plates have, the heavier they get. It also creates potential weaknesses in the armor, like creasing a paper, Lozano explains

But it also creates more deflection angles. Or at least it does on a tank. Wait, do you mean body armor isn't like tank armor?
 
2012-07-10 11:55:02 AM
I'm thinking more like Madonna's bustier from 1983. You know made from kevlar and ceramic plates. Will they be made in correct cup sizes? More likely to just be a generic shape with a sports bra suspension.

Too bad there were no pics of said armor in development.
 
2012-07-10 12:01:12 PM
I do love how papers will find some side comment and make this a basis for an entire article. After concerns voiced by soldiers and later studies on the issue, someone made a reference which might help people understand the types of changes considered. and this becomes the "inspiration"...
 
2012-07-10 12:01:18 PM
hmmmm flexible armor that conforms to a body's shape without losing strength, ideally by using individual plates....nahhh. never been done before:
www.luxury-insider.com
www.jelldragon.com
www.fantasy-armor.com
 
2012-07-10 12:01:57 PM

cgraves67: But it also creates more deflection angles. Or at least it does on a tank. Wait, do you mean body armor isn't like tank armor?


/not sure if serious or making wise crack
 
2012-07-10 12:02:20 PM
...or you can save money and just keep women off the front lines since there is no shortage of militarily available men to bullet sponge for your army. I got nothing against chicks in the service, my wife and mother were among them. Its dumb to go through a lot of added expense for no discernible gain though.
 
2012-07-10 12:02:30 PM
FTFA: Now, he adds, the challenge will be finding the money, in the midst of robust calls for cuts in defense spending, to mass-produce them.

As much as I would like to see investment in other areas than defense spending, I don't mind when they actually use the money for sh*t that will help protect soldiers and save lives, not spending billions on a vehicle that will be outdated by the time it is done killing test pilots used in the battlefield.

/Continue on with the Xena/Tank Girl thread.
 
2012-07-10 12:03:35 PM
Shamelessly stolen from a comedian I saw on Conan in the 90's:

Xena Warrior Princess. Anyone ever watch that? An Amazon woman beating up men with sticks. I call it the (comedian name) masturbation hour.
 
2012-07-10 12:03:51 PM
www.actionmoviefreak.com

This is the future for armored women?
 
2012-07-10 12:07:16 PM

KellyX: [www.actionmoviefreak.com image 300x345]

This is the future for armored women?

Hey Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?

Vasquez: No. Have you?


Always good for a LOL!
 
2012-07-10 12:11:07 PM

DjangoStonereaver: Early rejected prototype:

[a4.ec-images.myspacecdn.com image 287x350]


Fe-mail?
 
2012-07-10 12:13:18 PM
img171.imageshack.us
 
2012-07-10 12:15:31 PM
Headline is full of win.

Will new said armor protect these women from getting sunk by pink torpedoes?

/also foresees great things for this thread
 
2012-07-10 12:17:52 PM
I approve, in theory.

i.imgur.com
 
2012-07-10 12:22:18 PM
WHY?! She had terrible armor!!!
 
2012-07-10 12:26:41 PM

cgraves67: Yet there are engineering challenges. The more curves the plates have, the heavier they get. It also creates potential weaknesses in the armor, like creasing a paper, Lozano explains

But it also creates more deflection angles. Or at least it does on a tank. Wait, do you mean body armor isn't like tank armor?


Human movement and funny-shaped people make too many variables to count on deflection angles. Body armor needs to stop the round from any angle, or it probably won't when you need it to.
 
2012-07-10 12:27:26 PM

Subtle_Canary: ...or you can save money and just keep women off the front lines since there is no shortage of militarily available men to bullet sponge for your army. I got nothing against chicks in the service, my wife and mother were among them. Its dumb to go through a lot of added expense for no discernible gain though.


"The U.S. Army lowers recruitment standards ... again."
 
2012-07-10 12:29:38 PM

dv-ous: cgraves67: Yet there are engineering challenges. The more curves the plates have, the heavier they get. It also creates potential weaknesses in the armor, like creasing a paper, Lozano explains

But it also creates more deflection angles. Or at least it does on a tank. Wait, do you mean body armor isn't like tank armor?

Human movement and funny-shaped people make too many variables to count on deflection angles. Body armor needs to stop the round from any angle, or it probably won't when you need it to.


See, there's the answer. We need the Obesity Corps, rotund Americans that are spherical and easily-armored, and who barely move.

/just roll them downhill at the enemy
//Call them the Mobile Infantry and you'd get Farkers lining up to volunteer
 
2012-07-10 12:34:34 PM
May I submit a prototype

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-07-10 12:35:14 PM

Theaetetus: dv-ous: cgraves67: Yet there are engineering challenges. The more curves the plates have, the heavier they get. It also creates potential weaknesses in the armor, like creasing a paper, Lozano explains

But it also creates more deflection angles. Or at least it does on a tank. Wait, do you mean body armor isn't like tank armor?

Human movement and funny-shaped people make too many variables to count on deflection angles. Body armor needs to stop the round from any angle, or it probably won't when you need it to.

See, there's the answer. We need the Obesity Corps, rotund Americans that are spherical and easily-armored, and who barely move.

/just roll them downhill at the enemy
//Call them the Mobile Infantry and you'd get Farkers lining up to volunteer


See I was thinking more varying heights and waist-to-hip ratios. Since we're talking about combat troops and all.
 
2012-07-10 12:37:37 PM

dv-ous: Theaetetus: dv-ous: cgraves67: Yet there are engineering challenges. The more curves the plates have, the heavier they get. It also creates potential weaknesses in the armor, like creasing a paper, Lozano explains

But it also creates more deflection angles. Or at least it does on a tank. Wait, do you mean body armor isn't like tank armor?

Human movement and funny-shaped people make too many variables to count on deflection angles. Body armor needs to stop the round from any angle, or it probably won't when you need it to.

See, there's the answer. We need the Obesity Corps, rotund Americans that are spherical and easily-armored, and who barely move.

/just roll them downhill at the enemy
//Call them the Mobile Infantry and you'd get Farkers lining up to volunteer

See I was thinking more varying heights and waist-to-hip ratios. Since we're talking about combat troops and all.


No, no, I think we're on to something here...
media1.break.com
 
2012-07-10 12:48:38 PM
Bookmarks are wrong and should be discouraged.

/just sayin.
 
2012-07-10 12:50:18 PM
It worked here ahhsome.files.wordpress.com
NSFW pic
 
2012-07-10 12:59:21 PM

irishdncr83: WHY?! She had terrible armor!!!


You might be looking for different things in armor than I am, 'cause I liked that armor.
 
2012-07-10 12:59:58 PM
 
2012-07-10 01:06:19 PM
i3.kym-cdn.com

In the grim darkness of the near future there are only sexy armored corsets
 
2012-07-10 01:13:29 PM

The AlbinoSaxon: As much as I would like to see investment in other areas than defense spending, I don't mind when they actually use the money for sh*t that will help protect soldiers and save lives, not spending billions on a vehicle that will be outdated by the time it is done killing test pilots used in the battlefield.


images.wikia.com
THAT PILOT SURVIVED!
 
2012-07-10 01:18:07 PM
Can anyone provide the link to that humorous video about women's body armor? I think it's from Funny or Die, but could be from another humor site.
 
2012-07-10 01:24:01 PM
The current body armor that female marines and soldiers are made to wear really lowers the speed and effectiveness of the admin offices and military hospitals.
 
2012-07-10 01:31:20 PM

Theaetetus: Subtle_Canary: ...or you can save money and just keep women off the front lines since there is no shortage of militarily available men to bullet sponge for your army. I got nothing against chicks in the service, my wife and mother were among them. Its dumb to go through a lot of added expense for no discernible gain though.

"The U.S. Army lowers recruitment standards ... again."


From 2008? That article wasnt even true THEN. The military has been doing its best to kick people out since at least 2006 because of the down turn the economy took. Following 2006, moral and physical waivers were no longer accepted by ANY service and things like minor criminal records (graffiti, misdemeanors etc) barred you entirely. Its harder to get into the military now than at any point in US history.
 
2012-07-10 01:31:34 PM

I Love Rooster: The current body armor that female marines and soldiers are made to wear really lowers the speed and effectiveness of the admin offices and military hospitals.


How does it affect MPs and Medics?
 
2012-07-10 01:54:30 PM

Subtle_Canary: ...or you can save money and just keep women off the front lines since there is no shortage of militarily available men to bullet sponge for your army. I got nothing against chicks in the service, my wife and mother were among them. Its dumb to go through a lot of added expense for no discernible gain though.


PROFIT!

Why do you hate America?
 
2012-07-10 01:57:41 PM

Subtle_Canary: Theaetetus: Subtle_Canary: ...or you can save money and just keep women off the front lines since there is no shortage of militarily available men to bullet sponge for your army. I got nothing against chicks in the service, my wife and mother were among them. Its dumb to go through a lot of added expense for no discernible gain though.

"The U.S. Army lowers recruitment standards ... again."

From 2008? That article wasnt even true THEN. The military has been doing its best to kick people out since at least 2006 because of the down turn the economy took. Following 2006, moral and physical waivers were no longer accepted by ANY service and things like minor criminal records (graffiti, misdemeanors etc) barred you entirely. Its harder to get into the military now than at any point in US history.


Very untrue. They are accepting those with visible tattoos on necks and hands now. My friend is in the army and she was cringing at the new recruits coming into in-processing at Fort Jackson. Just last month they were talking about it.
 
2012-07-10 01:58:19 PM

StoPPeRmobile: Subtle_Canary: ...or you can save money and just keep women off the front lines since there is no shortage of militarily available men to bullet sponge for your army. I got nothing against chicks in the service, my wife and mother were among them. Its dumb to go through a lot of added expense for no discernible gain though.

PROFIT!

Why do you hate America?


He doesn't hate America, he's just too good to pay for it.
 
2012-07-10 02:03:41 PM
Just don't make them metalic cuz you know what happed to xena in the simpsons: almost lost her breast plate from a giant magnet.
 
2012-07-10 02:22:47 PM

dericwater: Can anyone provide the link to that humorous video about women's body armor? I think it's from Funny or Die, but could be from another humor site.


This one?

http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6550847/female-armor-sucks
 
2012-07-10 02:23:58 PM

fireclown: Whatever you do, don't go a-googling for lucy lawless as sapphy the schoolgirl

/thank me later.


thank you. I've always loved that song. Now I do for a totally new reason....
 
2012-07-10 02:30:22 PM
How a Jewish-Canadian Warrior Princess might armour-up:
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-07-10 02:37:00 PM
lh4.ggpht.com
Why not just use mass effect fields, then you can have all the tighty, body forming 'armor' you want.
 
2012-07-10 02:37:45 PM

Wookie Milson: How a Jewish-Canadian Warrior Princess might armour-up:


t2.gstatic.com
 
2012-07-10 02:37:54 PM
Came for more pictures of Gabriel
/leaving disappointed
 
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