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(Kinston Free Press)   Judge sentences man to blare "I'm A Little Teapot"   (kinston.com) divider line 54
    More: Silly, Bobby Womack, teapot, Kenny Chesney, car alarms, bright spot, Larry Storch  
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5292 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jul 2012 at 1:55 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-10 12:35:30 PM
I got hassled last summer for playing my car stereo too loudly. It was kind of funny considering my age, but come on, do you really expect to me to play Motorhead at a reasonable volume?

/just wait until I go deaf
 
2012-07-10 01:29:51 PM
Years ago, my asshole neighbours from Jamaica would have parties every weekend with their reggae blasting up through my floor until the wee hours.

I eventually got a Yamaha system with a couple hundred watts of power and one night put the speakers up against the window and put in my AC/DC Powerage album.

Only took 5 minutes.
 
2012-07-10 01:38:49 PM
Said man looks short and stout.

/I bet he got all steamed up
 
2012-07-10 02:01:45 PM
www.commonsensejunction.com
"What?"
 
2012-07-10 02:05:45 PM
Mandatory minimum sentence?
/white people problems
 
2012-07-10 02:06:25 PM
So how long until the judge eats chili made from his parents?
 
2012-07-10 02:07:07 PM
"I enjoy a good sound system in the car - nothing like a little Bobby Womack on a Saturday night - sookie sookie, now," Ironside said. "But anyone who insists their stereo rattle every mailbox open it passes is in dire need of a daily flogging with a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire until they get better."

Not sure if satire.
 
2012-07-10 02:08:09 PM
Seriously this can't be real:

""I think it's kinda sweet, really," said Storch's girlfriend of 27 minutes, Paulette Burroughs of La Grange. "I've dated many a rapper in my day, and they all cite 'I'm A Little Teapot' as the joint that got them started in hip hop. 50 Cent was weaving 'Tea Pot' into his rhymes when he was still 16 Cent.""
 
2012-07-10 02:08:21 PM
Since when does a parody get a green light?
 
zez
2012-07-10 02:09:25 PM

don't understand: [www.commonsensejunction.com image 246x216]
"What?"


I came in to make a similar joke, but after a google I find that he is actually 89 years old! Link

/hmmmmm
 
2012-07-10 02:10:35 PM

bdub77: Seriously this can't be real:

""I think it's kinda sweet, really," said Storch's girlfriend of 27 minutes, Paulette Burroughs of La Grange. "I've dated many a rapper in my day, and they all cite 'I'm A Little Teapot' as the joint that got them started in hip hop. 50 Cent was weaving 'Tea Pot' into his rhymes when he was still 16 Cent.""


Tip me over for your homies
 
2012-07-10 02:12:01 PM
I see the Onion has nothing to fear from this guy.
 
2012-07-10 02:12:09 PM
Weird - it looks like a real news web site, but this article is clearly satire. Reads like the Onion. Wonder if it is some journalist's last day on the job and he's having a little fun.
 
2012-07-10 02:12:27 PM
What an asshole. I'd put his ass in the county lock-up for 30 days and remove all the spearers from his car.
 
2012-07-10 02:13:34 PM

21-37-42: Since when does a parody get a green light?


When it's actually a decent parody. This one is awful. It starts out a little believable then goes straight into stupid territory. It's like a combination of horrible British parody and sh*t written for a middle school newspaper.
 
2012-07-10 02:13:39 PM

bdub77: "I enjoy a good sound system in the car - nothing like a little Bobby Womack on a Saturday night - sookie sookie, now," Ironside said. "But anyone who insists their stereo rattle every mailbox open it passes is in dire need of a daily flogging with a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire until they get better."

Not sure if satire.


Yeah, um, I'm almost thinking it's got to be. But I'm pretty sure they're doing it wrong.

Larry Storch, 89 (guy in the pic is probably 20 years short of that), of 667 Calamity Lane (neighbor of the beast?), La Grange... (a how how how)

Storch - who drives a 1976 Aston Martin Lagonda (not pictured: a 1976 Aston Martin Lagonda)...

"I think it's kinda sweet, really," said Storch's girlfriend of 27 minutes (So, they met when her case preceded his on the docket?)...

"I've dated many a rapper in my day, and they all cite 'I'm A Little Teapot' as the joint that got them started in hip hop. 50 Cent was weaving 'Tea Pot' into his rhymes when he was still 16 Cent." (Nothing further to add here.)
 
2012-07-10 02:14:27 PM

bdub77: "I enjoy a good sound system in the car - nothing like a little Bobby Womack on a Saturday night - sookie sookie, now," Ironside said. "But anyone who insists their stereo rattle every mailbox open it passes is in dire need of a daily flogging with a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire until they get better."

Not sure if satire.


This one is tripping my BS alarm, too.
 
2012-07-10 02:14:48 PM

bdub77: "I enjoy a good sound system in the car - nothing like a little Bobby Womack on a Saturday night - sookie sookie, now," Ironside said. "But anyone who insists their stereo rattle every mailbox open it passes is in dire need of a daily flogging with a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire until they get better."

Not sure if satire.


Yeah, I'm pretty sure it is.
 
2012-07-10 02:15:23 PM
Sometimes, when you're a columnist writing that late, things seem funnier than they actually are

July 10, 2012 12:00 AM

(my guess)
 
2012-07-10 02:16:53 PM

don't understand: [www.commonsensejunction.com image 246x216]
"What?"


Thank you for the F Troop reference.
Remembering Wrangler Jane.
 
2012-07-10 02:17:32 PM
www.3k.org
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, all work and no play makes Jack...

/Can't remember what they did to deserve that
 
2012-07-10 02:19:03 PM
This just in, fake news is fake
 
2012-07-10 02:21:27 PM
FTA:

Judge Ironside said. "In the past I've fined you, sentenced you to community service, and at one point even forced you to watch the fourth hour of the 'Today Show.' Since none of those punishments have done anything to curb your jackassory behavior, I've decided to get medieval on where your butt - if you had one - would be."

I actually burst out laughing. I can't believe that didn't get him to change his behavior.
 
2012-07-10 02:21:39 PM

gopher321: Years ago, my asshole neighbours from Jamaica would have parties every weekend with their reggae blasting up through my floor until the wee hours.

I eventually got a Yamaha system with a couple hundred watts of power and one night put the speakers up against the window and put in my AC/DC Powerage album.

Only took 5 minutes.


I salute you.

wwwade: bdub77:Not sure if satire.

This one is tripping my BS alarm, too.


I wonder if the editor is of the same mindset as I am; I would tell my kids exaggerated lies to see if they were paying attention, and to make them less gullible.

/he's probably just stoned and entertaining himself.
 
2012-07-10 02:22:50 PM
Mad libs? This isn't interesting or funny. Just not good.
 
2012-07-10 02:23:27 PM
www.funnychill.com
 
2012-07-10 02:30:19 PM
reads like an onion article....
 
2012-07-10 02:30:38 PM
"I think it's kinda sweet, really," said Storch's girlfriend of 27 minutes,


Wat?
 
2012-07-10 02:31:02 PM
How do we forward this to Fox News without revealing our hand? I know they've fallen for The Onion before.
 
2012-07-10 02:32:31 PM

bdub77: [www.funnychill.com image 600x600]


preview fail
 
2012-07-10 02:38:41 PM
Here's an example of what I can do:
I can turn my handle to a spout.
 
2012-07-10 02:40:15 PM
"Judge Ironside said. "In the past I've fined you, sentenced you to community service, and at one point even forced you to watch the fourth hour of the 'Today Show.' Since none of those punishments have done anything to curb your jackassory behavior, I've decided to get medieval on where your butt - if you had one - would be."


Who is this Judge? I think I'm in love...
 
2012-07-10 02:40:32 PM
In case there's any doubt that this is a pathetic attempt at humor, the image of "89-year-old Larry Storch" was lifted from a JVC car stereo ad.
 
2012-07-10 02:42:09 PM

Odd Bird: bdub77: [www.funnychill.com image 600x600]

preview fail


weird it showed up for me. stupid webcache.
 
2012-07-10 02:42:28 PM

Sybarite: I got hassled last summer for playing my car stereo too loudly. It was kind of funny considering my age, but come on, do you really expect to me to play Motorhead at a reasonable volume?

/just wait until I go deaf


This is the best comment I've seen on Fark today.

/long live killmeister
 
2012-07-10 02:44:48 PM
Normally I think that these "alternative punishments" are just a way for the judge to get in the papers. After 17 violations that do no good, seems like alternative was the only alternative. Really is it TOO much to ask that this asshole turn it down some?

Funny thing is, I have a buddy that works for Diamond Audio, and also worked for MTX, doing custom setup design as well as sales. He says the waveform on a 12" subwoofer is roughly 30 feet, meaning that you really have to be that far away for the shiat to sound any good, unless you have set up your system correctly. He had a pickup with a nice system in it, one that would give you a shiatsu massage with the best, but when his windows were up, it sounded no louder than any normal stereo blaring rock from 20 feet away or so. You could tell music was playing, and usually tell what it was, but you could also talk in a normal tone to the person standing right next to you, and there wasn't that dumb farking rolling 'boom!' every 1/3 of a second.

I can't stand about 90% of these rolling boombox people. Every once in awhile, I pull up next to one that isn't an inconsiderate prick, but they are the minority.
 
2012-07-10 02:48:23 PM
bdub77
Not sure if satire.

Why not? It's really, really obvious. What's funny is the people here who don't realize it.
 
2012-07-10 02:53:41 PM

bdub77: Odd Bird: bdub77: [www.funnychill.com image 600x600]

preview fail

weird it showed up for me. stupid webcache.


And it showed for me after I posted the "fail". Apologies...
 
2012-07-10 02:56:45 PM

wwwade: bdub77: "I enjoy a good sound system in the car - nothing like a little Bobby Womack on a Saturday night - sookie sookie, now," Ironside said. "But anyone who insists their stereo rattle every mailbox open it passes is in dire need of a daily flogging with a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire until they get better."

Not sure if satire.

This one is tripping my BS alarm, too.


Judges don't usually use the term "jackassery".
 
2012-07-10 03:02:35 PM

ph0rk: "I think it's kinda sweet, really," said Storch's girlfriend of 27 minutes,


Wat?


She met him right before he had to leave for the gym.
 
2012-07-10 03:04:17 PM
Obvious satire is obvious, but it would be nice if that actually were the punishment for people whose cars have bass I can feel through my teeth a block away.
 
2012-07-10 03:11:16 PM

patrick767: bdub77
Not sure if satire.

Why not? It's really, really obvious. What's funny is the people here who don't realize it.


I just checked. It is not satire. It's real. Jon Dawson is a columnist with the Kinston, NC newspaper. He writes columns on music and strange and funny local news and events. It's meant to be funny, but it isn't satire.
 
2012-07-10 03:30:25 PM
Whoopee!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larry_Storch
 
2012-07-10 03:33:17 PM
HTTP Error 418.
 
2012-07-10 03:37:06 PM
Well... add this to the "Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction" column. Plus, really people, this belongs in the "loss column" of uneventful events. Tired of politics and wars ad nauseum... I'm with you. But this is just more pathetic than the poor dressers on "What Not to Wear." Which I actually enjoy watching. So many clueless in such a short time.
 
2012-07-10 03:38:13 PM
I found my Megadeath 'Countdown to Extinction' album works pretty good at full volume to shut up neighbors as well.
 
2012-07-10 03:42:33 PM

TheGreatGazoo: I found my Megadeath 'Countdown to Extinction' album works pretty good at full volume to shut up neighbors as well.


I prefer this.
 
2012-07-10 03:42:33 PM

JackieRabbit: patrick767: bdub77
Not sure if satire.

Why not? It's really, really obvious. What's funny is the people here who don't realize it.

I just checked. It is not satire. It's real. Jon Dawson is a columnist with the Kinston, NC newspaper. He writes columns on music and strange and funny local news and events. It's meant to be funny, but it isn't satire.


Perhaps not meant to be satire, but photo is credited to AP and there is no AP article available. Larry Storch, 89, lives in NY, not in NC.
While there IS a Calamity Lane in NC, there in no 667 there, nor does it appear to be in La Grange, NC... it's a one-house lane and house is numbered 209.

Too many fictitious and convenient "facts" to be real.
 
2012-07-10 03:45:33 PM
What an Aston Martin Lagonda with dubs might look like.

www.nytmare.org

But seriously, it's a rare car. The paragraph near the end about being "unable to satisfy a woman" seals the deal that this article's spiel is not real.
 
2012-07-10 04:19:07 PM
unsympathetic
thisrecording.com
 
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