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(Patch)   Your ex-wife has a new man. You should: a) break into her house and demand sex b) drag her by her hair when she tries to escape c) chase the deputy that stops to help d) try to steal the deputy's car e) all of the above   (dacula.patch.com) divider line 41
    More: Dumbass, to see a man, GMC Yukon  
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4423 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jul 2012 at 11:38 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-10 11:41:18 AM
I swear I thought I was dreaming and these actions would have no consequence.
 
2012-07-10 11:41:29 AM
In for a penny, in for a pound
 
2012-07-10 11:43:53 AM
So did that fix their relationship? Will she take him back now?

He was just demonstrating his love and commitment to her.
 
2012-07-10 11:44:10 AM
F) Have a beer laugh at the sucker
\0/
|
/ \
 
2012-07-10 11:44:24 AM
f) resist the temptation to "utilize the multiple choice meme and its funny because its always the last option and its going to be hilarious and outrageous and everyone will LOLZ and spit on their monitors and I will be an internet hero"
 
2012-07-10 11:45:29 AM
I was expecting a img1.fark.net tag after reading the headline.
 
2012-07-10 11:46:10 AM
Where's the attempted rape charge?
 
2012-07-10 11:46:11 AM
Ah, love . . . .
 
2012-07-10 11:47:02 AM
G) Florida throws a fit as Georgia steals its wackiness.
 
2012-07-10 11:51:01 AM
Vega-Zamora was charged with aggravated battery, criminal trespass and third-degree cruelty to children due to the fact the victim's child was in the home at the time of the alleged assault. He is also being detained under an immigration hold. Vega-Zamora remains jailed without bond.

Didn't he also steal the deputy's truck?

Vega-Zamora then reportedly put the deputy's vehicle in reverse and began backing down the driveway, stopping only when his own vehicle blocked his path.

So why not charged for that as well?
 
2012-07-10 11:51:15 AM
Okay, having read TFA, I have to ask: how in the HELL did this asshole not get shot to death by the cops?
 
2012-07-10 11:51:46 AM
Why are people so obsessed with exes? Just find someone new. It's not that difficult.
 
2012-07-10 11:51:57 AM

supageil: Where's the attempted rape charge?


/He didn't try to rape her, he asked her for sex, and when she refused, he beat the shiat out of her and tried to force her back into the house. That's not attempted rape, that's assault. If he raped anything, it was the walls he punched holes in. That being said, what a total asshole. Send his ass back to his country of origin, with a toe tag.
 
2012-07-10 11:51:59 AM

nyseattitude: F) Have a beer laugh at the sucker


That was my thought, or rather, have sympathy for him. My ex is with a new guy and I am puzzled at what he finds compelling. She is a joyless coont, but perhaps that was just with me, or perhaps he likes the abuse. Either way I don't care as I am busy with the new Mrs. JailhouseFistfark who brings a joy and satisfaction that was previously unknown to me.

Selah.
 
2012-07-10 11:55:02 AM
Nobody farks with the Jesus!
 
2012-07-10 11:55:54 AM

cgraves67: G) Florida throws a fit as Georgia steals its wackiness.


It's spreading.. like a cancer
 
2012-07-10 11:58:27 AM
Didn't read but let's guess what lead to these actions:

1) daddy issues.
2) mommy issues.
 
2012-07-10 11:58:38 AM
I don't have an ex-wife, so i can't answer the question.

How about ex-girlfriend? In that case I would F) slowly seduce her, get her to cheat on her new dude, and then watch from a distance as the guilt rips her apart.
 
2012-07-10 11:58:46 AM
Vega-Zamora then reportedly put the deputy's vehicle in reverse and began backing down the driveway, stopping only when his own vehicle blocked his path.

Psychotic AND grade-a stupid.

Plus, Lady, get rid of the keyless lock pad on the farking garage. WTF?
 
2012-07-10 12:05:26 PM
Dacula?

Sounds like a two-year-old talking about vampires.
 
2012-07-10 12:10:54 PM
Jesus vs Dracula, the final battle!
 
2012-07-10 12:25:09 PM

tnpir: Okay, having read TFA, I have to ask: how in the HELL did this asshole not get shot to death by the cops?


My guess is because he was in that officers car when he started moving. That officer knows better than to shoot someone in his own car.
 
2012-07-10 12:27:58 PM
Hey, amigo, Univision carries telenovelas, not documentaries. Do not try this at home.
 
2012-07-10 12:29:25 PM

tnpir: Okay, having read TFA, I have to ask: how in the HELL did this asshole not get shot to death by the cops?


uh let me guess he was white :-{)
 
2012-07-10 12:29:31 PM
Be nice guys... he's just a caveman... (seriously, pulled her by the hair to have sex with her? wow)

Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer: [Aboard airplane] Stewardess, could you get me another drink?
Stewardess: Sorry sir, the head steward said you already had enough.
Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer: But you don't understand, I need this drink. I'm a caveman and I'm frightened by your strange flying machine, so get me another Dewars and water pronto.
Stewardess: Sorry sir.
Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer: Listen, I'll sue you and your WHOLE CRUMMY AIRLINE!
 
2012-07-10 12:35:03 PM
And he's single, girls! Time to spruce up your Match.com profile!
 
2012-07-10 12:48:55 PM

AngryJailhouseFistfark: nyseattitude: F) Have a beer laugh at the sucker

That was my thought, or rather, have sympathy for him. My ex is with a new guy and I am puzzled at what he finds compelling. She is a joyless coont, but perhaps that was just with me, or perhaps he likes the abuse. Either way I don't care as I am busy with the new Mrs. JailhouseFistfark who brings a joy and satisfaction that was previously unknown to me.

Selah.


Does this mean you'll be changing your handle to HappyJailhouseFistFark?
 
2012-07-10 12:52:46 PM

scandalrag: AngryJailhouseFistfark: nyseattitude: F) Have a beer laugh at the sucker

That was my thought, or rather, have sympathy for him. My ex is with a new guy and I am puzzled at what he finds compelling. She is a joyless coont, but perhaps that was just with me, or perhaps he likes the abuse. Either way I don't care as I am busy with the new Mrs. JailhouseFistfark who brings a joy and satisfaction that was previously unknown to me.

Selah.

Does this mean you'll be changing your handle to HappyJailhouseFistFark?


No, I'm still angry. It's a longstanding issue stemming from childhood. And jail. Really it's an homage to a Beautiful Act of Love found in the prison system. When performed properly with Air Supply's "All Out of Love" playing on the PA, it's truly spectacular.
 
2012-07-10 01:05:05 PM

AngryJailhouseFistfark: nyseattitude: F) Have a beer laugh at the sucker

That was my thought, or rather, have sympathy for him. My ex is with a new guy and I am puzzled at what he finds compelling. She is a joyless coont, but perhaps that was just with me, or perhaps he likes the abuse. Either way I don't care as I am busy with the new Mrs. JailhouseFistfark who brings a joy and satisfaction that was previously unknown to me.

Selah.


i have sort of a similar situation. my ex and i always had problems that she always blamed on me. i always assumed she was just a raging, seething biatch.

here we are 6 years after the bitter bitter divorce. i am remarried and have found a level of personal happiness that I really had no idea existed. my wife is AWESOME. she makes living a joy.

my ex has bounced from man to man and can't keep one interested. she is cute and has big boobs, so i guess she probably really WAS a raging, seething biatch.
 
2012-07-10 01:11:18 PM
D, i thought the answer was always D
 
2012-07-10 01:25:39 PM
Vega-Zamora was charged with aggravated battery, criminal trespass and third-degree cruelty to children due to the fact the victim's child was in the home at the time of the alleged assault. He is also being detained under an immigration hold.

Immigration holds and deportations are a good thing, despite what the fark libtards may tell you.
 
2012-07-10 01:43:02 PM

Phineas: f) resist the temptation to "utilize the multiple choice meme and its funny because its always the last option and its going to be hilarious and outrageous and everyone will LOLZ and spit on their monitors and I will be an internet hero"


I take it they didn't approve your headline either.
 
2012-07-10 01:51:16 PM
Well hell, you've already lost her - What's the worst that can happen?

i174.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-10 02:00:43 PM
I'd just crack a beer and pity the man for all the good stuff I know he's not getting.
 
2012-07-10 03:11:59 PM
So the deputy just stood there pointing his gun at the suspect while he 1) tried to steal the deputy's SUV, 2) got out and walked to his own vehicle, 3) climbed in his vehicle and 4) drove away...

"Halt! Or I'll say Halt again!"
 
2012-07-10 03:26:00 PM
I first read the headline as "your ex-wife IS a new man", so the rest of it kind of confused me.
 
2012-07-10 03:38:22 PM

Texas Curmudgeon: I first read the headline as "your ex-wife IS a new man", so the rest of it kind of confused me.


lol comedycentral-co-uk.mtvnimages.com
 
2012-07-10 08:19:31 PM
Isn't the answer always (C)? I was confuzzled by the headline.

/DNRTFA
 
2012-07-10 08:43:15 PM
When I discovered my ex-wife had a new man, I did the most evil thing I could think of.

I left him alone with her.
 
2012-07-12 11:48:34 AM

OgreMagi: When I discovered my ex-wife had a new man, I did the most evil thing I could think of.

I left him alone with her.


YOU ANIMAL!
 
2012-07-12 03:46:52 PM

Tainted1: OgreMagi: When I discovered my ex-wife had a new man, I did the most evil thing I could think of.

I left him alone with her.

YOU ANIMAL!


I may be the only man alive that wishes his ex WOULD find love and get remarried.

maybe she would then leave me the hell alone.
 
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