farkin_noob: As a chick, I realize I have a touch of the crazies. And it's part of the reason I don't do relationships anymore. Although, I was never as crazy as this chick.

Plus you dudes are just as crazy. What dude demands to get married and have babies? After a month! Especially when it was agreed that we were just friends with benefits!

So basically what you're saying is that your dad was generally unavailable for most of your childhood?

bim1154: Quantum Apostrophe: Good grief, the woman has no ass.

And she's creepy looking. Creepy women with no ass give me bad dreams.

For me it's thin lips. Anytime you read one of those articles about some deep south white trash woman who abuses or kills her own baby, they always have thin lips.

Never trust a woman with thin lips.

sycraft: Nobody gets my passwords not just because I don't want to give them out but because that could a a firin' offense.

??

jekxrb: Quantum Apostrophe: bim1154: Quantum Apostrophe: Good grief, the woman has no ass.

And she's creepy looking. Creepy women with no ass give me bad dreams.

She just looks terrifically average. It's the mentality that's creepy.

Exactly. It's not her physical appearance that's ugly, it's her personality (at least, as she represents it in articles for the Daily Fail).

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes down to the bones

Let us play a game: Spot the rich guy. Ready...... GO!

JustFish: Work with, live with, and play with my GF. First relationship I've ever had that has no trust issues, at all. After years of "where were you?", "Who were you with?", "Which one of my friends are you farking now?", it's wonderful to just not think about it any more. Sure, we have access to each others phones, it's part of work. I have her email passwords cause I set up the accounts and she never changed them. Do I ever look? nope, don't care. I never understood the whole "Trust is the first and most important thing in a relationship" because I'd never had it before, and always figured it was just various levels of distrust, and you just tried to get that as low as possible. Nope, it's gone. I'm still friends a few of my ex's, most from decades back, high school, military, etc, and this is the first time where it's just not an issue, at all. GF is fine with it, and in fact has become friends with them. I'm rambling on, but really, trust in your partner means not having to worry about trusting anyone else, ever. It makes things so damned simple, I can't understand why anyone would do it any other way.

You verbalized this perfectly. This is my relationship now. Took 38 years to find him and a long line of disappointments. But now that we're together, other people marvel at what we have. It is a true blessing.

I could write a whole article about how beautiful her smile is.

Psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho

To any farker that mattery of factly claims they are just friends with their exes: How do you rationalize the logic in being able to get along with someone while not sleeping with them when you couldn't get along with them while you were sleeping with them? Is this real friendship or a random text "hello...goodbye" type of "friend" we are talking about here?

mytdawg: BurnShrike: You can't read my emails, texts and Fark posts though.

I got bad news.

Everybody can read your Fark posts.

What?! When did this happen?! I've been using this place as a diary to work out all my deep-seated psychological issues. How did all of you weirdos get on my internet? Stop reading my posts, you hackers!

AirborneBuckeye: Let us play a game: Spot the rich guy. Ready...... GO!

Hmmm, Bob I'm going to have to say the short fat balding guy with the gay biker face, effeminate shirt, and slacks that have obviously been tailor made with room for a male gunt.

The fact that there is unused gunt space in said slacks clearly indicates that letting himself go is not merely an accident, but a long term plan. Probably because it's the easiest way to make your wife stop touching you without hurting her feelings.

thurstonxhowell: CheekyMonkey: If I was married to a woman like this, the first thing I'd do every morning is dump her purse out

I can think of something else involving the words "dump" and "purse" that would get the desired message across.

That could work too...

power_slave: To any farker that mattery of factly claims they are just friends with their exes: How do you rationalize the logic in being able to get along with someone while not sleeping with them when you couldn't get along with them while you were sleeping with them? Is this real friendship or a random text "hello...goodbye" type of "friend" we are talking about here?

It's easy to get along with a lot of people... at arm's length. Living with them or being in a close relationship with them is an entirely different thing though.

Soooo THIS. I am getting married in August and two of my ex's are coming to our wedding with their significant others. I was talking to another ex two days ago. My fiance said, "Who's that? " I told him, "Tom." He said, "Tell Tom hi for me." I offered to let him read the texts. He just asked if there was anything new going on with Tom. I speak to men all the time. He never gets upset or worried. It is very rewarding to be in that type of relationship. Makes it so much easier.

Easier to cheat?

No. Easier to do other things in your life. Jealousy takes energy and time. When trust is there, you spend that energy and time in a more productive manner. Was able to start a business because of the time that we have. It has been awesome.

glassbottomboatcaptain: farkin_noob: As a chick, I realize I have a touch of the crazies. And it's part of the reason I don't do relationships anymore. Although, I was never as crazy as this chick.

Plus you dudes are just as crazy. What dude demands to get married and have babies? After a month! Especially when it was agreed that we were just friends with benefits!

So basically what you're saying is that your dad was generally unavailable for most of your childhood?

Not at all. I suck at relationships and am a crazy person.


/I spent a lot of time with dad.
//Most of it we were doing coke.
///I got clean, him not so much.

Snort: doyner: "I use the same decision making skills in my relationship as I do in picking a computer."

I was wondering if someone would crack on the computer.

Thanks for restoring my faith in Farkers.



I dunno - the way the front of the tower is facing away from her, that looks a hell of a lot more like paid product placement.

fireclown: tiggerfan: CaliNJGuy: I had a GF that was just like that during what I call my 3 year descent into hell. She used the same excuse "I trust you, I just don't trust other women". I guarantee you that woman's insanity doesn't stop there and I pity that poor fool that chose to marry her. God forbid he works in an office w/a high population of femaies. I did when I lived in NJ (worked in my Company's corporate office) and to listen to my ex GF you would have thought I worked in a brothel. I finally came to the conclusion that one of us was crazy and that it was her. Dumping her was the best decision I made in a long time.

I'm seriously wondering if you and I had the same ex in NJ...


She seems to have traveled as far south as Maryland. I dated her back in the late 90s when I was at UMBC.

I think it is unfortunately a very common thing. She was constantly afraid I was going to go back to my ex-wife. We got into a huge argument over my phone. I hate the sound of a ringing phone so I always set it to vibrate for everything - calls, emails, texts - everything. One day we were sitting on the sofa and my phone vibrated. I got up to look at it and she said "text?" I said "No, email". She said "when did you set that phone to vibrate for email?" I told her I had it set to vibrate for everything. Then she went into the whole "i had the same phone! don't farking tell me how that phone works! you're farking lying to me!" deal. I told her she was farking psycho and she needed help. She could be so endearing at times and just when you thought everything was going to be good for a while she would do something that would make me wonder why I ever got involved w/her in the first place. I had to get myself out of that cycle.

trappedspirit: sycraft: Nobody gets my passwords not just because I don't want to give them out but because that could a a firin' offense.

[encrypted-tbn3.google.com image 200x200]??

this took me a second...


+1

jekxrb: That's the 'women hate me because I'm so beautiful' chick.

And then there's this gem.

He weighs her and picks her clothes, she stalks his voicemail/email. I am so jealous of their marriage.

I really, really hope she's a professional troll.

It's actually (slightly) more pathetic than that.

She's a freeelance writer and (according to Private Eye), her "Women Hate Me..." article was originally a pretty tedious fluff piece about women sabotaging each other. She submitted it to the Mail months before it was published and just sat in their in-tray.

It was the Mail which asked for the very specific re-writes to add in all that batshiat insanity and lack of self awareness which made the published piece so lulzey.

No idea if she still needed her hand held to produce this piece.

Jeebus K. Reist already....if you want to attention whore, get an ass extension like that Kardashian twat.

That's nothin'.

When my wife goes out of town, she takes her diaphragm with her so I won't cheat on her.

thnksqrd: thenewmissus: t3knomanser: Ozarkhawk: I have an awesome wife.

A pair of my co-workers recently got married, and around the same time I ended up working on a lot of projects with them. We got social outside of work. Upon hanging out with me and my wife, my co-workers said, "It's so nice to see a couple that actually gets along!"

Soooo THIS. I am getting married in August and two of my ex's are coming to our wedding with their significant others. I was talking to another ex two days ago. My fiance said, "Who's that? " I told him, "Tom." He said, "Tell Tom hi for me." I offered to let him read the texts. He just asked if there was anything new going on with Tom. I speak to men all the time. He never gets upset or worried. It is very rewarding to be in that type of relationship. Makes it so much easier.

Easier to cheat?

exactly what i was thinking lol...

doyner: Yeah--just like her "relationship."

Ding, ding, ding!

Trophy wife?

Maybe a trophy that has been urinated in, dropped in a river, dented, used as an onion salad container and stored in the basement for a few years.

It's not that I don't trust my husband, Pascal - I do. I just don't trust other women.

Jesus, this lady is either pants-on-head stupid, or she thinks we are...

It's not like women shot some kind of Joker Gas love potion through the email lady. If your husband strays, it's HIS fault, not other women's.

Besides, who would try and lands that lumpy tub of lard, anyway?

911Jenny: My boyfriend has my password to my Facebook. Yes there's exes of mine on there and no I don't care.

I'm boring. So is he. I have the password to his cellphone.

All obtained through innocent means. "Can you do me a favor and check for me...."

Hooray trust.

agree wholeheartedly.

power_slave: To any farker that mattery of factly claims they are just friends with their exes: How do you rationalize the logic in being able to get along with someone while not sleeping with them when you couldn't get along with them while you were sleeping with them? Is this real friendship or a random text "hello...goodbye" type of "friend" we are talking about here?

Uh...no. Just because we decided not to spend our lives together doesn't mean that we have to drop them as friends. I don't date someone unless I get to know them as a friend first. If I can't stand them as a friend, why would I date them?

Earguy: Within it, among the passports and birth certificates, is a notepad containing all the passwords for my husband's phone and email accounts.

That you know of. You have the passwords for all the accounts that you know of.

InPrivate browsing, a gmail account, and he's off your radar, you dummy.

He has a good boy phone and a naughty boy phone...

^^^^^
THIS!

FTA:
There's always been an innocent explanation and now, perhaps unsurprisingly, such messages rarely arrive.

No shiat lady! You have forced him to up his privacy awareness. He's now even more likely to be cheating on you - you've turned it into a game of espionage. If the level of messages had not changed then he would have been actually letting you into his digital life.

As soon as he finds someone who's hotness/batshiat crazy ratio is better than yours (and absolutely higher on the hotness scale) you are on a divorce timer. Enjoy your ex-husband while you have him.

glassbottomboatcaptain: AirborneBuckeye: Let us play a game: Spot the rich guy. Ready...... GO!

Hmmm, Bob I'm going to have to say the short fat balding guy with the gay biker face, effeminate shirt, and slacks that have obviously been tailor made with room for a male gunt.

The fact that there is unused gunt space in said slacks clearly indicates that letting himself go is not merely an accident, but a long term plan. Probably because it's the easiest way to make your wife stop touching you without hurting her feelings.

ding DING DING We have a winner!!!

doyner: Weidbrewer: Snort: doyner: "I use the same decision making skills in my relationship as I do in picking a computer."

I was wondering if someone would crack on the computer.

Thanks for restoring my faith in Farkers.



I dunno - the way the front of the tower is facing away from her, that looks a hell of a lot more like paid product placement.

Yeah--just like her "relationship."

That made me laugh. Or at least as close to it as anything else has today.

Scorpio Rex: Trophy wife?

Maybe a trophy that has been urinated in, dropped in a river, dented, used as an onion salad container and stored in the basement for a few years.

WHATEVER they do in their bedroom...... Who are we to judge?

Scorpio Rex: Trophy wife?

Maybe a trophy that has been urinated in, dropped in a river, dented, used as an onion salad container and stored in the basement for a few years.

You're my new best friend.

Oh, like the dudes couldn't just hide a pre-paid cellphone with a data plan and whore it up on the down low. Actually, this is a brilliant plan. "Here you go wifey, here are the passwords to ALL my accounts." It is not like women are great at IT or anything. Heck, just boot to Linux cd and surf with a prepaid wireless modem and sext right in the living room.

glassbottomboatcaptain: diaphoresis: My ex-husband spied on me for about a year and finally found out I was cheating on him... with a female. He gave me a 'chance' to reconsider my life choice, then left me.

I'm not saying what I did was right, but sometimes I think partners should, as Vladimir Lenin used to say, Trust but Verify.

My life partner and I both have minor jealousy issues, so we keep to a strict schedule daily to greatly reduce the amount of 'free time' away from each other.

It's not the most healthy relationship, but considering our jealousy issues, it works.


Or you could...I don't know...have some basic morals and not cheat. Sorry to be judgmental, but I think you're underestimating just how terrible a thing that is to do to someone.

Or share. Sharing whould have been good too. Or was she too butch for the ex?

Earguy: Within it, among the passports and birth certificates, is a notepad containing all the passwords for my husband's phone and email accounts.

That you know of. You have the passwords for all the accounts that you know of.

InPrivate browsing, a gmail account, and he's off your radar, you dummy.

He has a good boy phone and a naughty boy phone...

In relationships you share expenses. A $50 a month bill should be noticeable to a good and stable man/woman.

I would notice after two months and so would she.

You hide your money as well?

You sound like a great guy.

People like you/that are the root cause of this lady's insecurities.

/of course you may have been joking

xanadian: Dr. Mojo PhD: Psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho psycho

MUSHROOM MUSHROOM

Having gotten a +1 for a Badger reference here, I doth my chapeau and then pass on the scepter and then I reply ...



OOOOohhhhhhh

I would feel horrible if I snooped through my husband's things, let alone his email or phone records. We've been married 8 years, together for 13, and to this day he does not know the contents of my purse nor I the contents of his wallet/briefcase. We don't get into each others' nightstands or closets other than to put away laundry. You share almost everything when you cohabitate, but it's important to have something that is entirely private and off-limits.

basemetal: [i369.photobucket.com image 230x198]

Is this a meme I missed?

Ozarkhawk: I have an awesome wife.

I sell houses, and drive people around all of the time, which usually includes lunchtime, evenings, weekends, etc.

I'm sitting in Pizza Hut with a client one day. The client is a 31 year old woman (I'm 52). My wife walks in on her lunch break with 2 coworkers. She sees me, comes over and says hi, introduces herself to the client, and goes off with her friends.

She has never mentioned it since. Finally, about 6 months later, I said "Remember that client I was with in Pizza Hut?" Her response "yeah- kind of."

Married 27 and counting.

I know, cool story bro.

so have you cheated on her before in your 27 yrs?

Moonfisher: I would feel horrible if I snooped through my husband's things, let alone his email or phone records. We've been married 8 years, together for 13, and to this day he does not know the contents of my purse nor I the contents of his wallet/briefcase. We don't get into each others' nightstands or closets other than to put away laundry. You share almost everything when you cohabitate, but it's important to have something that is entirely private and off-limits.

will you marry me?

mytdawg: I would have to beat her to death with an Easter Island statue.

You, good sir, win 1 interwebz

JustFish: Sure, we have access to each others phones, it's part of work. I have her email passwords cause I set up the accounts and she never changed them. Do I ever look? nope, don't care.

If you never look, then how do you know she's never changed the passwords?

"This shiat is creepy. I'm amused that woman wrote off her craziness as "it's other people's fault" instead of going "yeah, maybe I am completely batshiat insane a little bit crazy myself"

You just 100% described my ex-wife. Five years after the divorce, unemployable due to mental and drug abuse issues and living on her sisters' couch, she still blames everyone around her for her problems. Me most of all.

What a messed up way to live

Moonfisher: I would feel horrible if I snooped through my husband's things, let alone his email or phone records. We've been married 8 years, together for 13, and to this day he does not know the contents of my purse nor I the contents of his wallet/briefcase. We don't get into each others' nightstands or closets other than to put away laundry. You share almost everything when you cohabitate, but it's important to have something that is entirely private and off-limits.

I can understand that. We don't do it that way with purses and wallets but I get it.

Every friday night i go watch my friends band practice.without her and she never questions what happens there. They are a bunch of single dogs and she knows that.

She goes dancing without me, well, every time she goes dancing. I don't even want to know how flirty she was. It doesn't matter.

I'm secure and she's secure and that's what binds. The innate trust ties us together as more than just "best friends". She is my lover.

We do have a level of personal freedom.

MadHatter500: glassbottomboatcaptain: diaphoresis: My ex-husband spied on me for about a year and finally found out I was cheating on him... with a female. He gave me a 'chance' to reconsider my life choice, then left me.

I'm not saying what I did was right, but sometimes I think partners should, as Vladimir Lenin used to say, Trust but Verify.

My life partner and I both have minor jealousy issues, so we keep to a strict schedule daily to greatly reduce the amount of 'free time' away from each other.

It's not the most healthy relationship, but considering our jealousy issues, it works.


Or you could...I don't know...have some basic morals and not cheat. Sorry to be judgmental, but I think you're underestimating just how terrible a thing that is to do to someone.

Or share. Sharing whould have been good too. Or was she too butch for the ex?

Dated a girl for a while who did share.
Well, did not share.
She and her girlfriend lived in the house with her ex. He would occasionally be allowed to watch, Othertimes, she would find him asleep on the floor outside her bedroom door. Oh, she lived in Florida.
After she explained this to me I RAN!!!