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(Mirror.co.uk)   Retiree beats wife to death with Easter Island statue. "I faced it all and I stood tall and did it Moai way"   (mirror.co.uk) divider line 49
    More: Sad, pensioners  
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4615 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jul 2012 at 7:06 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-07-10 03:59:06 AM
That's farking awful, subby.

The record shows she took the blows.
 
2012-07-10 04:07:21 AM
Great headline. I heartily +1 this.
 
2012-07-10 04:34:32 AM
Subby is a heartless magnigicent bastard.

Now I have the Gipsy Kings in my head. "Ai Mi Manera!"
 
2012-07-10 05:08:27 AM
i212.photobucket.com

Denounces this.
 
2012-07-10 07:08:39 AM
fark yes, subby. So cruel and amusing. Amreuling.
 
2012-07-10 07:11:21 AM
Two facepalms and a chuckle, subby.

+1
 
2012-07-10 07:14:47 AM
Everyones all for homosexual marriage, but no one stops to ask what happens when - years later - Squidward gets tired of Spongebob's shiat.
 
2012-07-10 07:21:14 AM
BS. People don't die of breast cancer anymore.

khq.images.worldnow.com
 
2012-07-10 07:23:43 AM
Should be her headstone.
 
2012-07-10 07:26:48 AM
Subtitle: The 75-year-old stabbed her repeatedly and beat her with a model of Easter Island

Article: A pensioner has admitted beating his wife to death with a statue.

This writer's an idiot. Words mean things.
 
2012-07-10 07:32:17 AM
Let's quickly the review the facts of the case:

1. The guy was bummed out at the time.
2. At 75 years old, the wife probably didn't have much time left anyway.
3. It was a replica of a Easter Island statute, so there was no theft of a real statue involved.
4. They retired by the seashore during a global economic crisis, which wiped out the secondary seashell sales and savings market.
5. This happened in England, so who really gives a shiat?

Don't be such a hardass. Let the dude go and enjoy the rest of his retirement in peace.
 
2012-07-10 07:33:30 AM
Gilliard admitted manslaughter on the grounds of diminished responsibility

No, fark this guy. Multiple stab wounds? Beat with a model of Easter Island? We don't need him as a species, a society, or in any way, shape, or form. Take him to the military and let's give our service medics a chance to practice on something that's not goats.
 
2012-07-10 07:46:54 AM
Retirement is such fun for some people.
 
2012-07-10 07:50:27 AM
When Easter Island statues are outlawed, only outlaws ...

Nah, just doesn't work.
 
2012-07-10 07:51:24 AM

doglover: Gilliard admitted manslaughter on the grounds of diminished responsibility

No, fark this guy. Multiple stab wounds? Beat with a model of Easter Island? We don't need him as a species, a society, or in any way, shape, or form. Take him to the military and let's give our service medics a chance to practice on something that's not goats.


+1
 
2012-07-10 07:55:16 AM
My advice is to wait three days and check the pulse on her corpse.

/good luck
//we're aaallll counting on you
 
2012-07-10 07:57:45 AM
A stone cold killer.
 
2012-07-10 08:03:40 AM

BurnShrike: Subtitle: The 75-year-old stabbed her repeatedly and beat her with a model of Easter Island

Article: A pensioner has admitted beating his wife to death with a statue.

This writer's an idiot. Words mean things.


So...it wasn't a model of the island?

/drtfa
 
2012-07-10 08:05:02 AM
Damn, subbs, that was good.
 
2012-07-10 08:08:58 AM
Wow, a clever, funny headline on Fark. How did that get past the modmins?
 
2012-07-10 08:23:47 AM
Booooooo! Bring back the frog!
 
2012-07-10 08:25:13 AM
You know who's to blame for this, don't you?
kiwipolemicist.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-07-10 08:26:25 AM
home.earthlink.net
 
2012-07-10 08:26:41 AM
He gave her a right proper Easter bonnet.
 
2012-07-10 08:30:33 AM
I'm not saying he was being controlled by ancient aliens, but...

api.ning.com
 
2012-07-10 09:00:30 AM
Dammit, Red Meat's blocked at my work, so I can't post one with Papa Moai in it.
 
2012-07-10 09:10:33 AM

MBooda: You know who's to blame for this, don't you?
kiwipolemicist.files.wordpress.com


sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net

/not even FB has learned Drew's trick of intentionally bordering items to define them
//it's an unfounded rumor; it depends on your body size, bodyfat...)
 
2012-07-10 09:20:44 AM
Oh you, Subby.

/+1 internets
 
2012-07-10 09:25:22 AM
Stuart Denney QC, prosecuting, said: "He was suffering a major depressive episode which caused a loss of control."

Arg!
 
2012-07-10 09:29:55 AM
I've got a concrete replica in my front yard; seems like the perfect anodyne to all the Catholic bric-a-brac in so many of my neighbor's front yards.

//unwieldy
//for use on wife
 
2012-07-10 09:39:21 AM
Rapa Nui. Rapa Nui.

There. I said "Rapa Nui" twice.
 
2012-07-10 09:43:41 AM
Hmph. Professionals have standards.

// be efficient
// be polite
// have a plan to kill everyone you meet
 
2012-07-10 09:57:43 AM

drongozone: Rapa Nui. Rapa Nui.

There. I said "Rapa Nui" twice.


You must really like Rapa Nui.
 
2012-07-10 09:59:08 AM
Excellent headline, by the way, subby.
 
2012-07-10 10:09:04 AM
One of my favorite headlines in years... good work!
 
2012-07-10 10:20:13 AM
Dum-dum.
 
2012-07-10 10:40:20 AM
could have been worse like, say, a Staten Island snow globe.
 
2012-07-10 11:06:44 AM

Sybarite: I'm not saying he was being controlled by ancient aliens, but...

[api.ning.com image 640x473]


That pic is AWESOME! Is that a Stewart Cowley? Loved his books when I was youngin' (and would still love them now if I had any).
 
2012-07-10 11:59:18 AM

ObscureNameHere: Is that a Stewart Cowley? Loved his books when I was youngin'


My favorite was Little Lost Rabbi.
 
2012-07-10 12:12:38 PM
Being 17 days from retirement, I'm having fun with this.

/no statues in the house
 
2012-07-10 12:20:31 PM
Would it have been racist to beat your wife to death with a black lawn jockey? Should I not have done that?
 
2012-07-10 01:47:09 PM
ObscureNameHere SmartestFunniest 2012-07-10 11:06:44 AM


Sybarite: I'm not saying he was being controlled by ancient aliens, but...

[api.ning.com image 640x473]

That pic is AWESOME! Is that a Stewart Cowley? Loved his books when I was youngin' (and would still love them now if I had any).


I used to leaf through those fantasy space ship painting books as well when I was a kid, and wondered recently who that artist was. Thanks.
 
2012-07-10 01:48:00 PM
At least we know it wasn't Ike Turner.

www.cartridgesave.co.uk
 
2012-07-10 04:14:48 PM

SirEattonHogg: ObscureNameHere SmartestFunniest 2012-07-10 11:06:44 AM


Sybarite: I'm not saying he was being controlled by ancient aliens, but...

[api.ning.com image 640x473]

That pic is AWESOME! Is that a Stewart Cowley? Loved his books when I was youngin' (and would still love them now if I had any).

I used to leaf through those fantasy space ship painting books as well when I was a kid, and wondered recently who that artist was. Thanks.


Actually, I just found out recently a good friend of mine has some of Cowley's books hidden on his bookshelf. Also, I just check Amazon a little while ago there some of his stuff there. Sadly, 'Used' copies can run you $75. An 'as new' copy of one of his books was $275.
 
2012-07-10 04:36:38 PM

ObscureNameHere: SirEattonHogg:Is that a Stewart Cowley?

Actually, I just found out recently a good friend of mine has some of Cowley's books hidden on his bookshelf. Also, I just check Amazon a little while ago there some of his stuff there. Sadly, 'Used' copies can run you $75. An 'as new' copy of one of his books was $275.


I think it's neat that Ozzy wrote a song about him, and Jimmy Page lives in his house.
 
2012-07-10 07:34:28 PM
*Wince* You magnificent bastard,subs!


You're already laden with several +1s,but here.
 
2012-07-10 08:49:13 PM
Brilliant headline, fantastic. Thank you
 
2012-07-11 07:06:22 AM
So, which came first, the headline or the new Fark Store T-Shirt?
 
2012-07-11 10:22:02 PM
www.jimpoz.com
 
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