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(Salon)   Salon delivers hard-hitting story on secrets of the Muslim bathroom (w/ helpful pic of what a Muslim going to the bathroom may look like)   (salon.com) divider line 134
    More: Asinine, muslims, South Asian, Jason Bourne, circus freak, Western Lifestyle, cleanup hitter, bathrooms  
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11224 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jul 2012 at 11:34 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-10 10:23:59 AM
That's a lota information I didn't need.
 
2012-07-10 10:29:07 AM
I don't care one Iota.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2012-07-10 10:32:25 AM

Sybarite: That's a lota information I didn't need.


At the last sekrit muslin meeting we decided that we will require this when we impose sharia law.
 
2012-07-10 11:37:19 AM
Starbucks does that to me, too.
 
2012-07-10 11:37:27 AM
well, now I know what that thing in the kabob restaurant
 
2012-07-10 11:39:24 AM
it's a muslim handheld bidet
 
2012-07-10 11:39:26 AM
FTA: Paper and certain rocks can also be used to facilitate the process

Very small ones?

cdn.stripersonline.com
 
2012-07-10 11:39:30 AM
He doesn't know how to use the three seashells?
 
2012-07-10 11:41:00 AM
Oh yeah, the Muslin has some seriously complicated potty. Lots of Malaysian and Pakistani IT goons doing their mohammaden toilet voodoo in my building. It's fascinatin'. And for a religion that originates in the desert, I wonder all the water ritual is some cruel joke perpetrated by The Prophet (praise his holy name).
 
2012-07-10 11:41:09 AM
Is this the part where he washing crap off his arse and hands using two cups of water and no soap?
 
2012-07-10 11:41:48 AM
Or maybe stop following rituals established by goat farkers from the stone age as if they actually matter today.
 
2012-07-10 11:42:41 AM

trappedspirit: Is this the part where he washing crap off his arse and hands using two cups of water and no soap?


I thought that was what a burka was for.
 
2012-07-10 11:42:55 AM
Invest in a frikkin bidet!
 
2012-07-10 11:43:00 AM
Asswater thread!
 
2012-07-10 11:43:07 AM

vpb: Sybarite: That's a lota information I didn't need.

At the last sekrit muslin meeting we decided that we will require this when we impose sharia law.


I wish you weren't joking. These women aren't keeping themselves in line.
 
2012-07-10 11:43:57 AM
Uhhh, isn't he the Guy who, you know, popularized "thighing"?

Thanks, but no.
 
2012-07-10 11:44:49 AM
For Muslims, it is the homely girlfriend we adore but are ashamed to date in public.

Did not realize that was part of the faith.

Now I understand . . .
 
2012-07-10 11:45:17 AM
upload.wikimedia.org

I've been on the wrong end of Falafel plate, buddy.
 
2012-07-10 11:45:40 AM

MBooda: FTA: Paper and certain rocks can also be used to facilitate the process

Very small ones?


It needs a sharp corner if you want to get into the nooks and crannies.
 
2012-07-10 11:46:17 AM
Kidding aside, as a hairy-man I do appreciate that toilet paper is not sufficient.

I always try to have my constitutional at home before I head out for the day, which allows either a shower afterwards (preferred) or a wet washcloth.

Given that, a fastidious person can use paper towel in a public bathroom for the purpose.

It's a personal choice however, so this whole religion driven stuff is cookaloo.

/Wash yer hands afterwards ya dirty farkers. Then you don't have to worry about which hand is which.
 
2012-07-10 11:47:14 AM
 
2012-07-10 11:47:36 AM
Once again I am happy to be an atheist.
 
2012-07-10 11:47:43 AM
When you're in the bathroom at work and there's water everywhere but in the sink it's because of these guys. Too bad cleaning up after yourselves isn't part of the ritual.
 
2012-07-10 11:48:14 AM

GreetingsEarthling: /hot


you said it, brother
 
2012-07-10 11:48:21 AM

Fish in a Barrel: Once again I am happy to be an atheist.


you like smelling of ass?
 
2012-07-10 11:49:14 AM
Poop is coming out now, Insha'Allah.
 
2012-07-10 11:50:08 AM
"caramel frap residue."

I'm never going to Starbucks again.
 
2012-07-10 11:52:11 AM

loonatic112358: Fish in a Barrel: Once again I am happy to be an atheist.

you like smelling of ass?


Yeah. That's exactly what I'm saying.
 
2012-07-10 11:52:25 AM
Oh, religion! You so wacky! (But at least in this instance, its followers are playing with their own asses.)

AngryJailhouseFistfark: for a religion that originates in the desert, I wonder all the water ritual is some cruel joke


An interesting point. I could see a slightly different spin, though, "water is valuable, so keeping a small chalice in your bathroom and using a bit of it shows how much you honor your god" or even an element of, "see, if you belong to this religious group, you'll have water! Join us!" or something.

Still -- an interesting observation. You'd think, if anything, it'd be more socioeconomically beneficial to propagate something like, "don't you dare waste water just to wash your ass!" Hmmm.
 
US1
2012-07-10 11:52:26 AM

Mr. Cat Poop: Or maybe stop following rituals established by goat farkers from the stone age as if they actually matter today.


yea cause wiping with toilet paper leaves u feeling fresh;not; why when u wipe a baby u use wet wipes but on ur own nasty arse, you do not;
 
2012-07-10 11:52:36 AM
Okay, you know what?

Pictures. We need pictures.

Using words we don't know in ambiguous context is not helpful. Pictures.
 
2012-07-10 11:53:36 AM
Yet another reason why Salon is circling the drain.

David Talbot's book about San Francisco ('Season of the Witch') pretty much kicks ass though.
 
2012-07-10 11:54:15 AM
Sighs, just wipe your farking ass like everyone else does, wash your hands after, and get over yourselves. God doesn't care if you whirl a dead cat around your head 3 times before taking a dump.
 
2012-07-10 11:55:28 AM

Fish in a Barrel: Yeah. That's exactly what I'm saying.


try a bidet today, you can have that washed away


kokomo61: "caramel frap residue."

I'm never going to Starbucks again.


the secret ingredient of a Starbucks Caramel Frap, santorum!
 
2012-07-10 11:56:52 AM
Wait... So they don't just shiat in their clothes? Then what is that smell?
 
2012-07-10 11:57:38 AM

AngryJailhouseFistfark: Oh yeah, the Muslin has some seriously complicated potty. Lots of Malaysian and Pakistani IT goons doing their mohammaden toilet voodoo in my building. It's fascinatin'. And for a religion that originates in the desert, I wonder all the water ritual is some cruel joke perpetrated by The Prophet (praise his holy name).


Is this a Muslim thing or a specific-to-Pakistan-and-SE-Asia Muslim thing?

Cause other than a bidet I've never seen something like this (and haven't seen many of those either), and I've known plenty of Muslim families (SE Michigan born and raised) but only two from Pakistani families.

/shrug
//maybe they just keep it under the sink
///I don't really care, though
 
2012-07-10 11:58:22 AM

rubi_con_man: Pictures. We need pictures.


farm4.staticflickr.com
 
2012-07-10 11:59:00 AM
What is wrong with using a bidet?
 
2012-07-10 11:59:36 AM
It is 2012, people. There are flushable moist wipes, hot running water, and antibacterial foaming soap.

thedirtytshirt.com

/Hotlinked
 
2012-07-10 12:00:27 PM
Makes sense. I'm no expert, but I do remember the documentaries on the Dead Sea Scrolls and the Jewish sects with ritual bathing and cleansing. I think that some modern groups still practice it. I believe it's the same origin as Cristian baptism as well.

Many of these traditions did begin out of a need to impose cleanliness on people for the health of the community, and before the very recent development of toilet paper it would definitely have been an important ritual. The washing of feet in an area where people wear sandals and have work animals is again practical and again a long tradition in all Abrahamic religions.

I've seen in travel documentaries where many areas have switched to a device which is like a kitchen sink sprayer that is attached to the water line near the toilet, essentially as the modern equivalent of the cup. Really, a bidet is quite a good item for cleanliness, if a bit foreign to Americans. It's all quite a bit better then the ancient rule of "Left hand-Wipe, Right hand-Eat" that many areas still have.
 
2012-07-10 12:00:38 PM
Stop putting your feet in the f*cking work sinks.
 
2012-07-10 12:00:43 PM
Also:

.

But the lota can be confusing to Americans. Not long ago, an American Muslim family was detained at the airport and interviewed by the FBI. They had aroused suspicion by "lingering" near the airplane bathroom and asking for a "cup" to perform a "religious custom dictating cleanliness."


Why the HELL wouldn't you just ask for a cup for water?

I do that all the goddamn time (keep losing my damn reusable bottles and think buying bottled water is kind of stupid, unless you're somewhere where the tap water sucks, like New Jersey) and no one blinks an eye.
 
2012-07-10 12:01:03 PM

Bloody William: He doesn't know how to use the three seashells?


i.qkme.me
 
2012-07-10 12:01:21 PM

Bit'O'Gristle: Sighs, just wipe your farking ass like everyone else does


You mean just stand up, wipe and then leave?

/the farking fury
 
2012-07-10 12:02:14 PM
"Once you wash that crack, you never go back."

i am going to start injecting this phrase into conversation as often as i can.
 
2012-07-10 12:02:26 PM
I understand why they would have a lota considering this is what a modern muslim toilet looks like.

www.webdemons.com

Instead of complaining about potential girlfriends not having a lota he should be explaining why he leaves footprints on the toilet seat.
 
2012-07-10 12:02:34 PM

Walker: Stop putting your feet in the f*cking work sinks.


Yes, please this. Or better yet, wash them properly at home before you leave the house so the sink, counter, bathroom and nearby hallway don't smell like a rancid goddamned foot.
 
2012-07-10 12:02:46 PM
How can anyone take this shiat seriously?
 
2012-07-10 12:02:53 PM
Comments in TFA are awesome. I wanna know what Jackie Smith's FARK handle is - sounds like she's a regular in the Politics tab over here...

As for the article: interesting. I did not know about the lota. Lolitas, on the other hand...
 
2012-07-10 12:04:03 PM
I thought them Muslamic people used this when they use the toilet:

www.davesflags.com
 
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