FARK.com: (7204888) When you're applying for a job with U.S. Customs, you probably shouldn't tell them you abuse drugs. Or that you've molested a young girl. Or that you've had sexual intercourse with several species of animals

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		When you're applying for a job with U.S. Customs, you probably shouldn't tell them you abuse drugs. Or that you've molested a young girl. Or that you've had sexual intercourse with several species of animals (azfamily.com)		55
		More: Dumbass, U.S. Customs, Somerton Man, YCSO, Somerton, harassment

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6954 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jul 2012 at 10:24 AM | Favorite | share:

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xanadian		2012-07-10 09:53:48 AM

...unless you wanna work up on the Maine border.

jaylectricity		2012-07-10 10:22:24 AM

Drug use...not abuse. Big difference.

Glendale		2012-07-10 10:24:58 AM

He dun goofed.

Spasticus Autisticus		2012-07-10 10:26:10 AM

Management material

Captain Kierk		2012-07-10 10:26:53 AM

What? Are these not customs in the US?

Mega Steve		2012-07-10 10:27:07 AM

Neil Patrick Harris has fallen on hard times...

Surly U. Jest		2012-07-10 10:30:40 AM

Were the animals furry?

BurnShrike		2012-07-10 10:31:03 AM

Yeah, you should apply at the TSA instead.

probesport		2012-07-10 10:31:44 AM

Glendale: He dun goofed.

He backtraced some animals.

Professor Science		2012-07-10 10:31:44 AM

Maybe not for customs, but I'm sure the TSA will have an opening for him as soon as he's out of prison.

SumDumGit		2012-07-10 10:32:40 AM

So.. Customs has standards, TSA has none.
He applied to the wrong agency.

groppet		2012-07-10 10:33:32 AM

For the company I work for he would be on the fast track to upper management.

MythDragon		2012-07-10 10:36:12 AM

BurnShrike: Yeah, you should apply at the TSA instead.

I think a molestation charge is a requirement for them.

Beef Swellington		2012-07-10 10:38:06 AM

So, when does he start?

Brian Blessed's Bastard Boy		2012-07-10 10:41:58 AM

Was one of them a turtle?

kobreguide.com

Jz4p		2012-07-10 10:44:10 AM

jaylectricity: Drug use...not abuse. Big difference.

Oh, you clever troll. 7/10 for defending the child molester's drug habit in a semi-plausible knee-jerk defense of recreational drug use way.

6502programmer		2012-07-10 10:44:28 AM

MythDragon: BurnShrike: Yeah, you should apply at the TSA instead.

I think a molestation charge is a requirement for them.

"Now, we had a chance to meet this young man, and boy, that's a straight shooter with upper management written all over him."

Pro Zack		2012-07-10 10:44:46 AM

He thought he was applying for Congress, not Customs.

//they both start with a C.

The Muthaship		2012-07-10 10:48:52 AM

Was that wrong?

Killer Cars		2012-07-10 10:49:02 AM

He must be fun to play "Never have I ever..." with.

Sean M		2012-07-10 10:53:59 AM

Where's the Florida tag? How could something like this NOT happen in Florida?

Doctor_TeethMD		2012-07-10 10:55:54 AM

"Um, I'm going to have to go ahead and sort of disagree with you there."

mytdawg		2012-07-10 10:55:57 AM

You are really taking the fun out of job interviews subby.

texmeth		2012-07-10 10:56:24 AM

6502programmer: MythDragon: BurnShrike: Yeah, you should apply at the TSA instead.

I think a molestation charge is a requirement for them.

"Now, we had a chance to meet this young man, and boy, that's a straight shooter with upper management written all over him."

"Ooh, yeah. Um, I'm going to have to go ahead and sort of disagree with you there. Yeah. Uh, he's been real flaky lately and I'm just not sure that he's the caliber person that we would want for upper management. He's also been having some problems with his TPS reports."

BMFPitt		2012-07-10 10:56:30 AM

They'll just send you over to the TSA.

bmr68		2012-07-10 10:59:48 AM

A friend of a friend only ever wanted to be a cop. He went to school got a degree and did everything that should have made him a lock. During his psych evaluation he booted a question about Hitler. He told the interviewer that Hitler was just misunderstood.

He never became a cop.

Cmdr. Grunt		2012-07-10 11:00:36 AM

Came for the TSA leads, leaving satisfied. He'd be right at home there. :)

wambu		2012-07-10 11:02:46 AM

It takes one to catch one?

Nana's Vibrator		2012-07-10 11:03:36 AM

On the contrary, subby, it was a very good thing that he admitted to all of these things.

Let me help:
When you're applying for a job with U.S. Customs, you probably shouldn't have a history of abusing drugs. Or molesting a young girl. Or having sexual intercourse with several species of animals
Or even better:
If you want to abuse drugs. Or molest a young girl. Or have sexual intercourse with several species of animals...a job at U.S. Customs is not for you. Because you're a man of adventure. Drug abusing, child molesting, animal sex havin' adventure.
How about: If you want to live in Arizona, be white, and don't do the aforementioned activities.

As you can see, I rightfully do not submit headlines.

MythDragon		2012-07-10 11:07:18 AM

Harry Freakstorm		2012-07-10 11:11:05 AM

Whatever happened to employer/employee privilege? You know, where your boss can't roll on anything you tell him because you tell it to him in confidence?

What do you mean, there is no such thing?

Oh boy. I gotta get down to HR.

destrip		2012-07-10 11:11:27 AM

Best not cross my farkin' border, or I'll rape your babies and fark your farking donkeys... and chickens... and goats... and...

KimNorth		2012-07-10 11:12:05 AM

He wanted to get caught, he wanted someone to stop him.....Why else would he out himself.

Thank goodness he did.

AR 15-6		2012-07-10 11:14:39 AM

To be fair, Maine state law doesn't expressly take "doggie years" into consideration for age of consent...

LarryDan43		2012-07-10 11:16:35 AM

Subby suggests you lie instead. Like he did when he got his job.

dabbletech		2012-07-10 11:17:21 AM

Honesty is the best policy. Right?

destrip		2012-07-10 11:18:49 AM

Jz4p: jaylectricity: Drug use...not abuse. Big difference.

Oh, you clever troll. 7/10 for defending the child molester's drug habit in a semi-plausible knee-jerk defense of recreational drug use way.

Could be either; not enough information given to tell. I'm guessing they're playing the old use=abuse card, 'cause it's one of their favorites, and, furthermore, people who use drugs to the point of actual abuse often get caught for possessing the drugs themselves, or theft, etc. being committed to keep them coming. He would then have a rap sheet and not have to admit to it.

xen0blue		2012-07-10 11:19:26 AM

but hey, putting your penis where another man defecates is A-OK!

Harry Freakstorm		2012-07-10 11:22:07 AM

Someone is going to have an awkward meeting at their family reunion:

What happened, Steve? We sent Cody down there. You said you could get him hired on, no sweat. Just like you did with April, Bruce, and all them relatives from yer wife's side. So what happened? He goes down there all happy and stuff. Next thing I know, there's cops in my basement digging through poor Cody's stuff!

I came to you and I told you he had a rough patch and you said "I work for the government. Get him down there, have him fill out an SF 85 and I'll do the rest." He wasn't looking for no serious job. He just wanted to sit at a computer all day like he did when he was living in our basement.

Now he's in jail. Jail! He calls me every day "Daddy. Do you know what they is calling me down here? All sorts of nasty things. I'm scared daddy. Scared! I think this is gonna screw up mah chances at working for Uncle Steve."

You know what? Don't talk to me. Don't talk to the wife either. And stay away from the green jello mold. My wife made that and I don't want you touchin' it.

neversubmit		2012-07-10 11:23:04 AM

xen0blue: but hey, putting your penis where another man defecates is A-OK!

I hear you, I hear you saying you have a penis in you mouth. Go on...

BurnShrike		2012-07-10 11:23:52 AM

xen0blue: but hey, putting your penis where another man defecates is A-OK!

As long as the second man doesn't mind, why wouldn't it be A-OK?

I'm not sure you should try to do it at the interview though.

Fluorescent Testicle		2012-07-10 11:29:18 AM

Glendale: He dun ~~goofed~~ Goofy.

/FTFY.
//With a name like Cody Slaughter, I'm not surprised.

dv-ous		2012-07-10 11:34:20 AM

But if I, say, raped and murder a young girl in 1990, I should totally tell them, right?

Just hypothetically?

Nana's Vibrator		2012-07-10 11:36:18 AM

bmr68: A friend of a friend only ever wanted to be a cop. He went to school got a degree and did everything that should have made him a lock. During his psych evaluation he booted a question about Hitler. He told the interviewer that Hitler was just misunderstood.

He never became a cop.

A guy I graduated with took the civil service test, did well, and was #2 on the hiring list. 'People who wanted to know' found out he only hung out with the neighborhood kids that were 10 years younger than us. No job for him. Good thing, too. Although I've always generally been nice to real people (not you Farkers. You can all eat poop.) In a moment of weakness I was not very nice to him one day in 8th grade. If he holds any kind of grudge ever, I would not have wanted to be pulled over by him.

BMFPitt		2012-07-10 11:40:45 AM

redmid17		2012-07-10 11:48:50 AM

6502programmer		2012-07-10 11:59:20 AM

BMFPitt: I, for one, don't think someone who thinks Hitler was just misunderstood should get a badge and a gun.

Neither did they, apparently. I suspect it was simply because when asked that question, he should have had the good sense to lie. If he tells the truth about that, can they count on him to remember the "truth" when it really counts, like how that 86 year old woman resisted arrest and needed to be tazed five times before she complied with the officers, or how his partner was justified in shooting the vicious yorkie that was threatening his life while they were doing a drug bust?