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(MSNBC)   Parents shocked to find Ball Python wrapped around their delicious 1-year-old boy   (usnews.msnbc.msn.com) divider line 131
    More: Scary, long ball, chunks, NBC News, Illinois  
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12694 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jul 2012 at 12:06 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-09 09:30:19 PM
Dude. Don't go for the snake. It's just gone.
 
2012-07-09 09:46:49 PM
Ball pythons are the chihuahuas of the snake world, without the aggressiveness.
 
2012-07-09 09:58:42 PM
This isn't my phobia of snakes talking but WTF , asshole, WTF?

Why would you even have a snake as a pet in the first place but even if you had to, around a kid? What the fark?
 
2012-07-09 10:02:37 PM
thestickytongue.org
At least the kid wasn't in a staring contest with the snake...
 
2012-07-09 10:03:18 PM

Mugato: Why would you even have a snake as a pet in the first place but even if you had to, around a kid? What the fark?


Looks like the parents weren't at fault...

Investigators believe the python escaped from a neighboring apartment within the building, Taylor said. Police have not been able to find the owner.
 
2012-07-09 10:06:42 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-07-09 10:09:55 PM

Mugato: This isn't my phobia of snakes talking but WTF , asshole, WTF?

Why would you even have a snake as a pet in the first place but even if you had to, around a kid? What the fark?


Because a ball python is about as dangerous as a hamster.
 
2012-07-09 10:34:12 PM
Now, if it was 2 snakes, and the infant strangled them both, that would be mythic.
 
2012-07-09 10:35:00 PM

platedlizard: Mugato: This isn't my phobia of snakes talking but WTF , asshole, WTF?

Why would you even have a snake as a pet in the first place but even if you had to, around a kid? What the fark?

Because a ball python is about as dangerous as a hamster.


Not to another hamster

/just sayin'
 
2012-07-09 10:42:02 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: platedlizard: Mugato: This isn't my phobia of snakes talking but WTF , asshole, WTF?

Why would you even have a snake as a pet in the first place but even if you had to, around a kid? What the fark?

Because a ball python is about as dangerous as a hamster.

Not to another hamster

/just sayin'


Well, to be fair, hamsters are horribly little shiats who will eat each other alive.

/bitter ex-pet store employee
 
2012-07-09 11:55:04 PM
She said it was the first time she has seen the python and the apartment building is supposed to be pet-free.

Usually, "pet-free" means no dogs or cats. I've never heard of an apartment building where you couldn't have pets of any kind. Most landlords generally don't care if you have something that lives in a cage.
 
2012-07-09 11:56:19 PM
CSB Time

A friend of mine used to have a pet snake. I forget what type of snake it was, but it was big. He didn't even bother to cage it half the time, it just kinda slithered around the house and slept in his bed.

Anyway, at one point, the snake stopped eating. My friend would leave it mice, but they'd rarely be eaten. Later on, the snake started sleeping not coiled like normal, but fully extended on the bed. He couldn't figure out the reason for this weird behavior, so he took the snake to the vet.

After telling the vet about what'd been going on, the vet courteously informed him that the snake had been starving itself and stretching itself to my friend's size so that it could eat him. The snake was promptly put to sleep.
 
2012-07-10 12:34:17 AM

CavalierEternal: CSB Time

A friend of mine used to have a pet snake. I forget what type of snake it was, but it was big. He didn't even bother to cage it half the time, it just kinda slithered around the house and slept in his bed.

Anyway, at one point, the snake stopped eating. My friend would leave it mice, but they'd rarely be eaten. Later on, the snake started sleeping not coiled like normal, but fully extended on the bed. He couldn't figure out the reason for this weird behavior, so he took the snake to the vet.

After telling the vet about what'd been going on, the vet courteously informed him that the snake had been starving itself and stretching itself to my friend's size so that it could eat him. The snake was promptly put to sleep.


Sorry bro, but that story is a big fat pile of horse-shiat.
 
2012-07-10 12:35:00 AM
dude took the time to grab a blanket? wtf
 
2012-07-10 12:35:11 AM
Almost a repeat of an Onion vid.
 
2012-07-10 12:35:59 AM

CavalierEternal: CSB Time

A friend of mine used to have a pet snake. I forget what type of snake it was, but it was big. He didn't even bother to cage it half the time, it just kinda slithered around the house and slept in his bed.

Anyway, at one point, the snake stopped eating. My friend would leave it mice, but they'd rarely be eaten. Later on, the snake started sleeping not coiled like normal, but fully extended on the bed. He couldn't figure out the reason for this weird behavior, so he took the snake to the vet.

After telling the vet about what'd been going on, the vet courteously informed him that the snake had been starving itself and stretching itself to my friend's size so that it could eat him. The snake was promptly put to sleep.


I hear you can buy that kind of snake with just a $2 bill.
 
2012-07-10 12:37:04 AM
white trash have a tendency to keep dangerous animals around because they're dumb and think it makes them cool....
every now and then, someone dies because of it. pitbulls...rottweilers...big ass snakes...etc etc.

and yet, no one ever learns....
 
2012-07-10 12:39:49 AM
The fact that you think a pitbull (or even a rottweiler) is a "dangerous animal" (as compared to, say, a German shepherd or any other large dog) is telling.
 
2012-07-10 12:40:11 AM

cup of tea: dude took the time to grab a blanket? wtf


My thoughts exactly. No way the blanket was closer than a cell phone camera.
 
2012-07-10 12:42:54 AM

Meethos: CavalierEternal: CSB Time

A friend of mine used to have a pet snake. I forget what type of snake it was, but it was big. He didn't even bother to cage it half the time, it just kinda slithered around the house and slept in his bed.

Anyway, at one point, the snake stopped eating. My friend would leave it mice, but they'd rarely be eaten. Later on, the snake started sleeping not coiled like normal, but fully extended on the bed. He couldn't figure out the reason for this weird behavior, so he took the snake to the vet.

After telling the vet about what'd been going on, the vet courteously informed him that the snake had been starving itself and stretching itself to my friend's size so that it could eat him. The snake was promptly put to sleep.

Sorry bro, but that story is a big fat pile of horse-shiat.


But awesomely funny.
 
2012-07-10 12:43:28 AM

ArcadianRefugee: The fact that you think a pitbull (or even a rottweiler) is a "dangerous animal" (as compared to, say, a German shepherd or any other large dog) is telling.


One of my neighbors threatened to report my Cocker Spaniel as a "dangerous animal". It was hard to not laugh in her face. Yes, he barks, but all he wants is attention.
 
2012-07-10 12:43:34 AM

platedlizard: Mugato: This isn't my phobia of snakes talking but WTF , asshole, WTF?

Why would you even have a snake as a pet in the first place but even if you had to, around a kid? What the fark?

Because a ball python is about as dangerous as a hamster.


I don't know a lot about snakes, but TFA said the boy was treated for "a bite mark, bruise and scratches". Why would a python bite the kid?
 
2012-07-10 12:46:06 AM

ArcadianRefugee: CavalierEternal: CSB Time

A friend of mine used to have a pet snake. I forget what type of snake it was, but it was big. He didn't even bother to cage it half the time, it just kinda slithered around the house and slept in his bed.

Anyway, at one point, the snake stopped eating. My friend would leave it mice, but they'd rarely be eaten. Later on, the snake started sleeping not coiled like normal, but fully extended on the bed. He couldn't figure out the reason for this weird behavior, so he took the snake to the vet.

After telling the vet about what'd been going on, the vet courteously informed him that the snake had been starving itself and stretching itself to my friend's size so that it could eat him. The snake was promptly put to sleep.

I hear you can buy that kind of snake with just a $2 bill.


Except at Taco Bell.
 
2012-07-10 12:47:12 AM

CavalierEternal: snake had been starving itself


That's part of snake's breeding cycles. They go off food.

Just saying.

Also your story is raging BS.
 
2012-07-10 12:48:09 AM
You say Ball Python, I say Baby cozy
 
2012-07-10 12:49:46 AM
Hey, who else sang this one at camp?

Oh, I'm being eaten
By a boa constrictor,
A boa constrictor,
A boa constrictor,
I'm being eaten by a boa constrictor,
And I don't like it--one bit.
Well, what do you know?
It's nibblin' my toe.
Oh, gee,
It's up to my knee.
Oh my,
It's up to my thigh.
Oh, fiddle,
It's up to my middle.
Oh, heck,
It's up to my neck.
Oh, dread,
It's upmmmmmmmmmmffffffffff . . .
 
2012-07-10 12:55:18 AM

Philbb: platedlizard: Mugato: This isn't my phobia of snakes talking but WTF , asshole, WTF?

Why would you even have a snake as a pet in the first place but even if you had to, around a kid? What the fark?

Because a ball python is about as dangerous as a hamster.

I don't know a lot about snakes, but TFA said the boy was treated for "a bite mark, bruise and scratches". Why would a python bite the kid?


Because the kid was delicious...didn't you read the headline?
 
2012-07-10 12:59:57 AM

Philbb: platedlizard: Mugato: This isn't my phobia of snakes talking but WTF , asshole, WTF?

Why would you even have a snake as a pet in the first place but even if you had to, around a kid? What the fark?

Because a ball python is about as dangerous as a hamster.

I don't know a lot about snakes, but TFA said the boy was treated for "a bite mark, bruise and scratches". Why would a python bite the kid?


Ball pythons are cold blooded, babies are toasty-warm. The snake more than likely found the kid to be a perfect mushy heat source in a cold apartment. Then the kid started moving too much, and snakes wake up grumpy, so it bit him.
 
2012-07-10 01:03:21 AM
Less dangerous than having a pitbull or rottweiler chomping on your kid.
 
2012-07-10 01:06:02 AM
I guess at least they saved the kid. I mean, I figure half the fun of having them has to be that if they get killed you're almost obligated to try over and over again to make more.
 
2012-07-10 01:09:16 AM
i46.tinypic.com

A snake thread without Samuel L. Jackson is like a ball python without a warm baby to snuggle with.

Or something.

Seriously, though, Meethos's hypothesis makes sense. Ball pythons are commonly kept as pets because they're typically calm and easy to handle. Or so I've read.
 
2012-07-10 01:09:43 AM
doubleplusundead.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-07-10 01:14:37 AM

FROGSTOMPER: [doubleplusundead.files.wordpress.com image 600x373]


Came for this, leaving satisfied. Unlike the python.
 
2012-07-10 01:22:49 AM

simplicimus: One of my neighbors threatened to report my Cocker Spaniel as a "dangerous animal". It was hard to not laugh in her face. Yes, he barks, but all he wants is attention.


Actually, cockers are notorious biters. Their bites just aren't fatal because they're smaller.
 
2012-07-10 01:25:59 AM

CraicBaby: simplicimus: One of my neighbors threatened to report my Cocker Spaniel as a "dangerous animal". It was hard to not laugh in her face. Yes, he barks, but all he wants is attention.

Actually, cockers are notorious biters. Their bites just aren't fatal because they're smaller.


Mine wouldn't even break the skin if he bit. He's a "soft" dog, just loud. But so is my ESS, and I've seen him bite large bones in half.
 
2012-07-10 01:27:25 AM

Mugato: This isn't my phobia of snakes talking but WTF , asshole, WTF?

Why would you even have a snake as a pet in the first place but even if you had to, around a kid? What the fark?


I know someone who didn't read the article!
 
2012-07-10 01:32:26 AM

platedlizard: Mugato: This isn't my phobia of snakes talking but WTF , asshole, WTF?

Why would you even have a snake as a pet in the first place but even if you had to, around a kid? What the fark?

Because a ball python is about as dangerous as a hamster.


Dude, hamsters are farking psyCHOtic! I will gladly rid the world of them by feeding those little foul-tempered bastards to my snakes!
 
2012-07-10 01:33:10 AM
www.entertainmentopia.com

[threadjack]
I still think that trying to get the snake drunk in order to throw up Meatwad -- and consequently getting Meatwad drunk inside the snake -- has got to be one of the funniest ATHF moments ever.
[/threadjack]
 
2012-07-10 01:34:20 AM

platedlizard: Because a ball python is about as dangerous as a hamster.


You ever wake up a sleeping hamster?
 
2012-07-10 01:36:32 AM

Meethos: Philbb: platedlizard: Mugato: This isn't my phobia of snakes talking but WTF , asshole, WTF?

Why would you even have a snake as a pet in the first place but even if you had to, around a kid? What the fark?

Because a ball python is about as dangerous as a hamster.

I don't know a lot about snakes, but TFA said the boy was treated for "a bite mark, bruise and scratches". Why would a python bite the kid?

Ball pythons are cold blooded, babies are toasty-warm. The snake more than likely found the kid to be a perfect mushy heat source in a cold apartment. Then the kid started moving too much, and snakes wake up grumpy, so it bit him.


I understand the attraction of a warm body. I just found it odd that constrictor would bite.

I didn't get to play with snakes much as a kid. My father was hardcore phobic.
 
2012-07-10 01:36:57 AM

DeltaPunch: [www.entertainmentopia.com image 420x280]

[threadjack]
I still think that trying to get the snake drunk in order to throw up Meatwad -- and consequently getting Meatwad drunk inside the snake -- has got to be one of the funniest ATHF moments ever.
[/threadjack]


All threadjacks in this thread must be preceded by the phrase, "And now for something completely different."
 
2012-07-10 01:37:58 AM

CraicBaby: simplicimus: One of my neighbors threatened to report my Cocker Spaniel as a "dangerous animal". It was hard to not laugh in her face. Yes, he barks, but all he wants is attention.

Actually, cockers are notorious biters. Their bites just aren't fatal because they're smaller.


There was a pet groomer around here that had her nose bitten off by a cocker spaniel when they went to remove it from the cage, due to cage aggression (they can feel trapped and intimidated when someone suddenly reaches in to pull them out). So yea probably not fatal, but as you said they're known to bite, particularly as a fear response.
 
2012-07-10 01:38:31 AM

DeltaPunch: [www.entertainmentopia.com image 420x280]

[threadjack]
I still think that trying to get the snake drunk in order to throw up Meatwad -- and consequently getting Meatwad drunk inside the snake -- has got to be one of the funniest ATHF moments ever.
[/threadjack]


I concur. I was dying the whole episode.
 
2012-07-10 01:42:55 AM

platedlizard: Mugato: This isn't my phobia of snakes talking but WTF , asshole, WTF?

Why would you even have a snake as a pet in the first place but even if you had to, around a kid? What the fark?

Because a ball python is about as dangerous as a hamster.


They're pretty quiet animals normally, but from experience if you get bit it hurts like hell. Thousands and thousands of little tiny razor sharp teeth. Bunch of bacteria in their mouths too.

My Jr. High biology teacher was a psychopath and let us handle the snakes. Apparently I wasn't the brightest student and the damned ball python had to prove it.
 
2012-07-10 01:43:49 AM

simplicimus: CraicBaby: simplicimus: One of my neighbors threatened to report my Cocker Spaniel as a "dangerous animal". It was hard to not laugh in her face. Yes, he barks, but all he wants is attention.

Actually, cockers are notorious biters. Their bites just aren't fatal because they're smaller.

Mine wouldn't even break the skin if he bit. He's a "soft" dog, just loud. But so is my ESS, and I've seen him bite large bones in half.


Soft and loud to you is annoying and possibly dangerous to those who don't like dogs. You farkers are just too blind to see that your dogs are basically the equivalent of a Downs syndrome kid that is normally fine and happy but just unstable enough that one day that farker is gonna go off and bite someone for no reason. And all because you are too blind to think your little fluffy could actually be dangerous to someone else.

/farking hate dog owners like you who just make excuse after excuse after...
 
2012-07-10 01:45:26 AM

pyrotek85: CraicBaby: simplicimus: One of my neighbors threatened to report my Cocker Spaniel as a "dangerous animal". It was hard to not laugh in her face. Yes, he barks, but all he wants is attention.

Actually, cockers are notorious biters. Their bites just aren't fatal because they're smaller.

There was a pet groomer around here that had her nose bitten off by a cocker spaniel when they went to remove it from the cage, due to cage aggression (they can feel trapped and intimidated when someone suddenly reaches in to pull them out). So yea probably not fatal, but as you said they're known to bite, particularly as a fear response.


My Cocker may be strange or not. He doesn't like males, but a female can do whatever she wants with him. We thought it was because he was abused before we got him.
 
2012-07-10 01:45:49 AM

The Shatner Incident: DeltaPunch: [www.entertainmentopia.com image 420x280]

[threadjack]
I still think that trying to get the snake drunk in order to throw up Meatwad -- and consequently getting Meatwad drunk inside the snake -- has got to be one of the funniest ATHF moments ever.
[/threadjack]

I concur. I was dying the whole episode.


shiat the thought of Meatwad drunk inside of a snake has me giggling and I didn't even see the episode!
 
2012-07-10 01:45:50 AM
Ah yes, the other other white meat.
 
2012-07-10 01:47:39 AM
Babies. Chubby. Yum.
 
2012-07-10 01:49:36 AM

my lip balm addiction:
Soft and loud to you is annoying and possibly dangerous to those who don't like dogs.


A cocker spaniel is about as dangerous as a declawed cat.
 
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