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(TMZ)   Cruise/Holmes divorce finalized: Katie gets custody of Suri, Tom gets custody of David Beckham   (tmz.com) divider line 45
    More: Interesting, David Beckham, Bert Fields, TMZ  
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9061 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 09 Jul 2012 at 4:29 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-07-09 04:51:09 PM
8 votes:
HI-FYE: Maybe Tom should look into dating someone from the COS. You know, to avoid this whole mess in the future.

74.53.10.18

Oh hai guys!
2012-07-09 04:35:35 PM
7 votes:
Tom Cruise divorce finalized around the same time as Bieber is rumored to be single.

... coincidence? I think not.
2012-07-09 04:39:10 PM
6 votes:
Marrying a scientologist is always risky business.
2012-07-09 08:29:09 PM
4 votes:
Tom gets custody of the rubber dick collection.
2012-07-09 04:56:10 PM
4 votes:
RantCasey: HI-FYE: Maybe Tom should look into dating someone from the COS. You know, to avoid this whole mess in the future.

[74.53.10.18 image 300x359]

Oh hai guys!


That mustache makes him look like a gay ventriloquist dummy
2012-07-09 04:41:31 PM
4 votes:
born_yesterday: Marrying a scientologist is always risky business.

would you compare it to entering a zone, a zone of DANGER?

sdccblog.com
2012-07-09 10:24:55 PM
3 votes:
StoPPeRmobile: scottydoesntknow: born_yesterday: Marrying a scientologist is always risky business.

At least he didn't try to use the kid as Collateral

He could just go on a little mission. A Mission: Imposible.


This is Far and Away one of the funnier fark threads. I bet Tom is Losin' it and downing a few Cocktails about now. I will admit Katie made All the Right Moves and hopefully she will starting dating A few good men and it will be a Knight and Day difference from living with someone who considers himself a legend.
2012-07-09 09:37:16 PM
2 votes:
Who gets custody of Old Spice?
2012-07-09 07:44:19 PM
2 votes:
Miscavige killed Chef!?!? THOSE BASTARDS!!!!
2012-07-09 07:14:03 PM
2 votes:
Now Chris Klein can see his kid.
2012-07-09 06:40:44 PM
2 votes:
pivazena:
In Oregon, you can get divorced in 1 hour, provided you are an Oregon resident.

In north Carolina, you must demonstrate that you've been living apart for a year.

Not sure what it is in CA; also, they she probably had it all figured out MUCH before they she went public


FTFY. From pretty much all accounts, he had no idea and she surprised him with it.

/HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOMMYBOY!
2012-07-09 06:29:36 PM
2 votes:
ModernPrimitive01: Gotta stop sky gods when they're babies, before they get too big to contain.

Life imitates ChronoTrigger?
2012-07-09 06:22:34 PM
2 votes:
HI-FYE: Maybe Tom should look into dating someone from the COS. You know, to avoid this whole mess in the future.

I think part of the reason he married outside the church is to get another celebrity to join up. That's how he himself was recruited, after all. It's like the Habsburg path to world domination.
2012-07-09 06:16:12 PM
2 votes:
I thought for sure theirs would be an Endless Love.
2012-07-09 04:51:09 PM
2 votes:
HI-FYE: Maybe Tom should look into dating someone from the COS. You know, to avoid this whole mess in the future.

Yeah, the church is bound to have a few good men he can pick from.
2012-07-09 04:45:43 PM
2 votes:
give me doughnuts: born_yesterday: Marrying a scientologist is always risky business.

Yeah, but it can work out all right if your lawyer is a top gun.


Top gun? The guy is a legend.
2012-07-09 04:43:05 PM
2 votes:
born_yesterday: Marrying a scientologist is always risky business.

Yeah, but it can work out all right if your lawyer is a top gun.
2012-07-09 04:41:36 PM
2 votes:
born_yesterday: Marrying a scientologist is always risky business.

Now that it is over though, Katie and Suri can get far and away
2012-07-10 06:30:25 AM
1 votes:
rynthetyn: I suppose I'm confused as to why Ted outing Renner confirmed that blind because it's not like people didn't all think Renner was gay to begin with, which made him the best fit for the Blind Gossip blind.

I don't really see an obvious link either, but it's not like stories about Cruise's gay escapades are new. But maybe the link was made because of the other Blind Gossip item:

"When the person who appears to have the power in a relationship backs down quickly in a dispute, you know that there have to be some compelling reasons why. Although all the talk up to this point has been about his involvement with a powerful group, there were actually three other reasons he settled so quickly.

Here are the three reasons: 1. His very personal relationship with a professional athlete. 2. His very personal relationship with a musician. 3. His very personal relationship with a famous actor.

She was ready and willing to expose all three relationships to get what she wanted. The scandal of having these three famous people deposed by attorneys about their sexual relationships would have destroyed all four men. So, he gave her the thing she wanted most so that his biggest secret could remain a secret."

ONTD says the musician is Rob Thomas (Matchbox 20) which is apparently an even older gossip item where Thomas' wife caught him in bed with Cruise in 2005 and had to be paid off to not go public, and leading to him hooking up with Katie.

I have to say that I'm quite shocked to discover that Rob Thomas is a Scientologist, given how open he is about being strongly pro-gay rights. Also sounds like Cruise gets off on the risk of getting caught by the beards, so long as he can pay them off. I hope one day he runs up against one who won't accept the money.

So Beckham, Thomas, and Renner? Is Cruise that sexy to gay men? Is it the middle tooth? Because he has always given ME the creeps.
2012-07-10 03:10:35 AM
1 votes:
if_i_really_have_to: Miss Stein: Re: dirt Katie had - there was a not-so-blind item recently about a celeb wife walking in on her husband and another man, and this week Ted Casablanca was fired from Eonline for accidentally-on-purpose revealing Tom Cruise and Jeremy Renner as the two men.

See this only confuses me because isn't Mr "I swear the man I'm living with is my business partner" Renner living with his... "business partner"?

But apparently he recently picked up a random guy at a party in front of everyone, so I guess not. I wish all the gay actors would just come out already.


There is only one way to test the validity of this story, how tall is Renner? If he's taller than Cruise, the story is false. If he is shorter than Cruise, there may be something to it.
2012-07-09 10:28:13 PM
1 votes:
Aboleth: Apos: Brian Blessed's Bastard Boy: titwrench: Apos: Brian Blessed's Bastard Boy: Apos: Brian Blessed's Bastard Boy: Apos: wiwille: Apos: foo monkey: born_yesterday: Apos: delathi: Apos: Flappyhead: delathi: Jobber8742: give me doughnuts: born_yesterday: give me doughnuts: born_yesterday: Marrying a scientologist is always risky business.

Yeah, but it can work out all right if your lawyer is a top gun.

Top gun? The guy is a legend.

Best guy in the firm?

I don't know about that, we'll discuss it over a Cocktail.

Maybe, but I'm sure they knew if they went to trail that they'd be losin' it.

True enough. I hear there are some minority reports about Toms odd activities.

One can imagine the collateral damage should those ever come to light.

Fallout coming down like rain, man.

Indeed. He'd have to brace for several days....of thunder.

I'm sure he's grateful that his secrets will remain out of the public light-- looks like his lawyer made all the right moves.

He's been consumed by this knight and day.

....AND inexplicably under what can only be described as a 'vanilla sky'.

I'm sure she'll keep the child far and away from the COS.

She'd better. BTW,was Suri born on the fourth of July?

But was Katie only thinking about the color of money?

Another good ques-whoa,I just spied a magnolia!

Tom's lawyers are just a few good men I'm sure.

They view themselves as lions(protectors)for lambs(their vulnerable clients).

ROAD HOUSE!!!

CoS rode in like a valkyrie and saved the day.


Or so they think. Can they accomplish their true mission? Impossible.

I know I might be in the minority. Reporting frivolously about this matter isn't doing Suri any favors.


Too bad it wasn't a long, drawn-out legal struggle so we could see who taps out first.
2012-07-09 09:29:00 PM
1 votes:
realmolo: Are there any members of the CoS with actual talent?

Does Charles Manson count?
2012-07-09 07:29:49 PM
1 votes:
Apos: wiwille: Apos: foo monkey: born_yesterday: Apos: delathi: Apos: Flappyhead: delathi: Jobber8742: give me doughnuts: born_yesterday: give me doughnuts: born_yesterday: Marrying a scientologist is always risky business.

Yeah, but it can work out all right if your lawyer is a top gun.

Top gun? The guy is a legend.

Best guy in the firm?

I don't know about that, we'll discuss it over a Cocktail.

Maybe, but I'm sure they knew if they went to trail that they'd be losin' it.

True enough. I hear there are some minority reports about Toms odd activities.

One can imagine the collateral damage should those ever come to light.

Fallout coming down like rain, man.

Indeed. He'd have to brace for several days....of thunder.

I'm sure he's grateful that his secrets will remain out of the public light-- looks like his lawyer made all the right moves.

He's been consumed by this knight and day.

....AND inexplicably under what can only be described as a 'vanilla sky'.

I'm sure she'll keep the child far and away from the COS.

She'd better. BTW,was Suri born on the fourth of July?


But was Katie only thinking about the color of money?
2012-07-09 07:21:48 PM
1 votes:
Scientology killed Chef and they should pay
2012-07-09 06:43:17 PM
1 votes:
foo monkey: born_yesterday: Apos: delathi: Apos: Flappyhead: delathi: Jobber8742: give me doughnuts: born_yesterday: give me doughnuts: born_yesterday: Marrying a scientologist is always risky business.

Yeah, but it can work out all right if your lawyer is a top gun.

Top gun? The guy is a legend.

Best guy in the firm?

I don't know about that, we'll discuss it over a Cocktail.

Maybe, but I'm sure they knew if they went to trail that they'd be losin' it.

True enough. I hear there are some minority reports about Toms odd activities.

One can imagine the collateral damage should those ever come to light.

Fallout coming down like rain, man.

Indeed. He'd have to brace for several days....of thunder.

I'm sure he's grateful that his secrets will remain out of the public light-- looks like his lawyer made all the right moves.

He's been consumed by this knight and day.


....AND inexplicably under what can only be described as a 'vanilla sky'.
2012-07-09 06:27:11 PM
1 votes:
born_yesterday: Apos: delathi: Apos: Flappyhead: delathi: Jobber8742: give me doughnuts: born_yesterday: give me doughnuts: born_yesterday: Marrying a scientologist is always risky business.

Yeah, but it can work out all right if your lawyer is a top gun.

Top gun? The guy is a legend.

Best guy in the firm?

I don't know about that, we'll discuss it over a Cocktail.

Maybe, but I'm sure they knew if they went to trail that they'd be losin' it.

True enough. I hear there are some minority reports about Toms odd activities.

One can imagine the collateral damage should those ever come to light.

Fallout coming down like rain, man.

Indeed. He'd have to brace for several days....of thunder.

I'm sure he's grateful that his secrets will remain out of the public light-- looks like his lawyer made all the right moves.


He's been consumed by this knight and day.
2012-07-09 06:19:02 PM
1 votes:
Apos: delathi: Apos: Flappyhead: delathi: Jobber8742: give me doughnuts: born_yesterday: give me doughnuts: born_yesterday: Marrying a scientologist is always risky business.

Yeah, but it can work out all right if your lawyer is a top gun.

Top gun? The guy is a legend.

Best guy in the firm?

I don't know about that, we'll discuss it over a Cocktail.

Maybe, but I'm sure they knew if they went to trail that they'd be losin' it.

True enough. I hear there are some minority reports about Toms odd activities.

One can imagine the collateral damage should those ever come to light.

Fallout coming down like rain, man.

Indeed. He'd have to brace for several days....of thunder.


I'm sure he's grateful that his secrets will remain out of the public light-- looks like his lawyer made all the right moves.
2012-07-09 06:13:04 PM
1 votes:
delathi: Apos: Flappyhead: delathi: Jobber8742: give me doughnuts: born_yesterday: give me doughnuts: born_yesterday: Marrying a scientologist is always risky business.

Yeah, but it can work out all right if your lawyer is a top gun.

Top gun? The guy is a legend.

Best guy in the firm?

I don't know about that, we'll discuss it over a Cocktail.

Maybe, but I'm sure they knew if they went to trail that they'd be losin' it.

True enough. I hear there are some minority reports about Toms odd activities.

One can imagine the collateral damage should those ever come to light.

Fallout coming down like rain, man.


Indeed. He'd have to brace for several days....of thunder.
2012-07-09 06:03:56 PM
1 votes:
*scans TFA*

Yup. Pretty much figured she had it on video.
2012-07-09 06:01:07 PM
1 votes:
Apos: Flappyhead: delathi: Jobber8742: give me doughnuts: born_yesterday: give me doughnuts: born_yesterday: Marrying a scientologist is always risky business.

Yeah, but it can work out all right if your lawyer is a top gun.

Top gun? The guy is a legend.

Best guy in the firm?

I don't know about that, we'll discuss it over a Cocktail.

Maybe, but I'm sure they knew if they went to trail that they'd be losin' it.

True enough. I hear there are some minority reports about Toms odd activities.

One can imagine the collateral damage should those ever come to light.


Fallout coming down like rain, man.
2012-07-09 05:55:52 PM
1 votes:
Bummer, was hoping this one was going to get messy. Scientology has to stop, if it continues then in a few thousand years when the founders are only legends, it may turn into a global cult. Then they'll declare a holy land and start killing infidels. Gotta stop sky gods when they're babies, before they get too big to contain.
2012-07-09 05:27:04 PM
1 votes:
whither_apophis: kingoomieiii: basemetal: Meh, it was already in the marriage contract........

/Don't really care
//good it could be settled so quickly and amicably
///you know, for the children

I'm glad their kid won't grow up submerged in a cult.

You know, unless Katie plans to find another church HEY-OOOOOH *high five*

It's all good, she went back to being Catholic


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/09/katie-holmes-catholic-church_ n_1659466.html

Thank God, a normal religion.

Now, if you will excuse me, I need to go and worship my wafer-God.
2012-07-09 05:18:45 PM
1 votes:
RantCasey: HI-FYE: Maybe Tom should look into dating someone from the COS. You know, to avoid this whole mess in the future.

[74.53.10.18 image 300x359]

Oh hai guys!


THIS:

fasttrack.hk
2012-07-09 05:17:09 PM
1 votes:
My friend just finished his divorce. Uncontested, they didn't have a boatload of property, pretty much an amicable divorce, and it took a YEAR

These asshats get theirs completed in less than a month?

I sure wish I was ridiculously rich
2012-07-09 05:00:54 PM
1 votes:
delathi: Jobber8742: give me doughnuts: born_yesterday: give me doughnuts: born_yesterday: Marrying a scientologist is always risky business.

Yeah, but it can work out all right if your lawyer is a top gun.

Top gun? The guy is a legend.

Best guy in the firm?

I don't know about that, we'll discuss it over a Cocktail.

Maybe, but I'm sure they knew if they went to trail that they'd be losin' it.


True enough. I hear there are some minority reports about Toms odd activities.
2012-07-09 04:55:46 PM
1 votes:
RantCasey: HI-FYE: Maybe Tom should look into dating someone from the COS. You know, to avoid this whole mess in the future.

[74.53.10.18 image 300x359]

Oh hai guys!


Are his eyes wide shut?
2012-07-09 04:50:04 PM
1 votes:
give me doughnuts: born_yesterday: give me doughnuts: born_yesterday: Marrying a scientologist is always risky business.

Yeah, but it can work out all right if your lawyer is a top gun.

Top gun? The guy is a legend.

Best guy in the firm?


I don't know about that, we'll discuss it over a Cocktail.
2012-07-09 04:49:39 PM
1 votes:
give me doughnuts: born_yesterday: Marrying a scientologist is always risky business.

Yeah, but it can work out all right if your lawyer is a top gun.


And knows all the right moves. I think it went pretty much like this:

"Uh, Tom? Katie sent over a DVD for us to watch."
"Is it one of my movies?"
"No, but it's a video of you."
"Accepting a People's Choice Award?"
"No, not exactly."
2012-07-09 04:49:26 PM
1 votes:
scottydoesntknow: born_yesterday: Marrying a scientologist is always risky business.

At least he didn't try to use the kid as Collateral


He could just go on a little mission. A Mission: Imposible.
2012-07-09 04:48:27 PM
1 votes:
Maybe Tom should look into dating someone from the COS. You know, to avoid this whole mess in the future.
2012-07-09 04:46:44 PM
1 votes:
born_yesterday: give me doughnuts: born_yesterday: Marrying a scientologist is always risky business.

Yeah, but it can work out all right if your lawyer is a top gun.

Top gun? The guy is a legend.


Best guy in the firm?
2012-07-09 04:35:06 PM
1 votes:
That was fast. Well,I guess the last we'll hear of this saga,right?*

*If only that were true
2012-07-09 04:02:05 PM
1 votes:
basemetal: Meh, it was already in the marriage contract........

/Don't really care
//good it could be settled so quickly and amicably
///you know, for the children


I'm glad their kid won't grow up submerged in a cult.

You know, unless Katie plans to find another church HEY-OOOOOH *high five*
2012-07-09 04:01:50 PM
1 votes:
basemetal: Meh, it was already in the marriage contract........

/Don't really care
//good it could be settled so quickly and amicably
///you know, for the children


This is one of the few divorces I wish wasn't settled amicably. The amount of damage that she could've done to the CoS would've been epic.
2012-07-09 03:45:48 PM
1 votes:
Meh, it was already in the marriage contract........

/Don't really care
//good it could be settled so quickly and amicably
///you know, for the children
 
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