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(Daily Mail)   Good news: You've lived to see yet another birthday. Fark: You are seriously burned by the candles on your birthday cake   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 20
    More: Sad, PhotoShops Kate Middleton, clothes on fire, twin daughters, Best Wishes, hair spray, Katie, Jackson Park Hospital  
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4912 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jul 2012 at 1:13 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



20 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-07-09 11:24:02 AM  
That old, huh?
 
2012-07-09 11:38:33 AM  
It is now very dark.

You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
 
2012-07-09 12:41:38 PM  
80 years old, huh? That's a lot of candles to catch her on fire. Plus the fumes in the beauty salon probably didn't help matters any.
 
2012-07-09 01:17:59 PM  
With a helpful picture of what a birthday cake might look like. Thanks, Daily Fail.
 
2012-07-09 01:23:14 PM  
Next time, lady, get the candles that are numerals.
 
2012-07-09 01:23:17 PM  
img.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-09 01:25:15 PM  
A police spokesman said the candles ignited vapour around the woman which engulfed her in flames.

This made me burst out laughing. So much humour potential. What kind of old-lady "vapour" did she have around her?
 
2012-07-09 01:27:13 PM  
This happened to my aunt, a lifelong heavy smoker, on her 87th birthday. We bought a sheet cake and five packs of Doral Menthol 150s which we arranged butts down atop the cake. She always taunted her brothers and sisters for being health nuts while she drank and smoked like Errol Flynn on a transatlantic flight. Her eyesight was too good though and in the hub-bub she didn't realize there were cigarettes instead of candles. With her narrowed arteries, her strained blowing caused her to pass out face first into the cake. Her wig burst into flames, consuming her entire head in fire. For some reason, my mother grabbed the iron shovel from the fire place and whacked her viciously again and again. I grabbed a pitcher from the table, which I thought was water, and tossed it over her head. As it turns out, it was actually lamp oil my grandfather had gotten out to refill the tiki-torches in the backyard. My aunts flesh, as dry and combustible as flash paper, went up in one gigantic woosh of flame. While the sight was horrific, it was at the same time comforting, like watching a professional swimmer drown.
 
2012-07-09 01:27:18 PM  
Like this? Link
 
2012-07-09 01:33:57 PM  
Today is my birthday so I'm really getting a kick. While I didn't get burned by candles, a bee stung me on my right testicle last night.
 
2012-07-09 01:37:31 PM  
This is going to be a serious problem for our extended lifespans. I suggest maybe using a hair dryer or garden hose when there are too many candles.
Or live on Mars were there's no air for the candles. Or magnetosphere to allow life.
 
2012-07-09 02:04:36 PM  
Shouldn't they just shoot guns in the air?...seems safer
 
2012-07-09 02:18:11 PM  
Was she hot?
 
2012-07-09 02:19:19 PM  
It's unbelievable some of the lengths people will go through to save money on cremation costs these days.
 
2012-07-09 02:21:35 PM  

spentmiles: While the sight was horrific, it was at the same time comforting, like watching a professional swimmer drown.


Very big lulz from this quarter over here.
 
2012-07-09 02:35:30 PM  
spentmiles: This happened to my aunt, a lifelong heavy smoker, on her 87th birthday. We bought a sheet cake and five packs of Doral Menthol 150s which we arranged butts down atop the cake. She always taunted her brothers and sisters for being health nuts while she drank and smoked like Errol Flynn on a transatlantic flight. Her eyesight was too good though and in the hub-bub she didn't realize there were cigarettes instead of candles. With her narrowed arteries, her strained blowing caused her to pass out face first into the cake. Her wig burst into flames, consuming her entire head in fire. For some reason, my mother grabbed the iron shovel from the fire place and whacked her viciously again and again. I grabbed a pitcher from the table, which I thought was water, and tossed it over her head. As it turns out, it was actually lamp oil my grandfather had gotten out to refill the tiki-torches in the backyard. My aunts flesh, as dry and combustible as flash paper, went up in one gigantic woosh of flame. While the sight was horrific, it was at the same time comforting, like watching a professional swimmer drown.

Words cannot describe how awesome this post is.
 
2012-07-09 02:37:46 PM  
So, how long before there's a push to ban birthday candles under health and safety regs?
 
2012-07-09 02:41:52 PM  

spentmiles: This happened to my aunt, a lifelong heavy smoker, on her 87th birthday. We bought a sheet cake and five packs of Doral Menthol 150s which we arranged butts down atop the cake. She always taunted her brothers and sisters for being health nuts while she drank and smoked like Errol Flynn on a transatlantic flight. Her eyesight was too good though and in the hub-bub she didn't realize there were cigarettes instead of candles. With her narrowed arteries, her strained blowing caused her to pass out face first into the cake. Her wig burst into flames, consuming her entire head in fire. For some reason, my mother grabbed the iron shovel from the fire place and whacked her viciously again and again. I grabbed a pitcher from the table, which I thought was water, and tossed it over her head. As it turns out, it was actually lamp oil my grandfather had gotten out to refill the tiki-torches in the backyard. My aunts flesh, as dry and combustible as flash paper, went up in one gigantic woosh of flame. While the sight was horrific, it was at the same time comforting, like watching a professional swimmer drown.


Farking amazing!
 
2012-07-09 02:54:54 PM  
As someone who is having a birthday on Wednesday, I'm getting a kick....etc.
 
2012-07-09 03:25:59 PM  
If I see one more green light from the "Daily Mail" this week, I"m going to the Consumerist.
 
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