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(Science 2.0)   "Is the Higgs boson the first step to a 'Star Trek' transporter?" and other ridiculous stories run by journalists who had no clue about what they were talking about   (science20.com) divider line 137
    More: Amusing, July 4th, higgs particles, World Science Festival, Alpha Centauri, atlas, journalists  
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6136 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jul 2012 at 9:44 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-09 09:21:48 AM
It would be pretty cool if it was.
 
2012-07-09 09:30:11 AM
I'm working on a higgs boson-based weight loss product. Unfortunately it only decreases mass, not volume.
 
2012-07-09 09:46:35 AM
The acceleration to light speed would still probably kill anything living.
 
2012-07-09 09:47:18 AM
Oh, that's ridiculous.

Every one knows it's the first step towards inertial dampeners.
 
2012-07-09 09:48:30 AM
www.avatarhosting.net

This image is actually apt now.
 
2012-07-09 09:48:33 AM
Duh, it's the God particle. So it is now a matter of time before scientists outlaw religion. It's what they were after the whole time.
 
2012-07-09 09:49:01 AM
Speaking as someone who has no idea what I'm talking about, a question I have about the Higgs Boson is this: if every particle under the Standard Model has an anti-particle, is there an anti-Higgs Boson waiting to be found? If there is, could that possibly have anything to do with Dark Matter or Dark Energy?
 
2012-07-09 09:49:04 AM
what about is subby talking about?
 
2012-07-09 09:50:17 AM
I'm afraid I'll have to wait for the next season of The Big Bang Theory for Sheldon to explain Higgs-Boson to Penny before I can understand it.

/while offering her a hot beverage
//it's the normal social convention
 
2012-07-09 09:53:08 AM

Ashtrey: Duh, it's the God particle. So it is now a matter of time before scientists outlaw religion. It's what they were after the whole time.


you have got to be kidding. They call it the God particle because this is actually what proves that God exists. There is nothing more evident that there is a higher power because this is so complicated nobody or nothing would be able to figure out such complexity. This test is about proving the existence of God and finally silencing atheists and doubters.
 
2012-07-09 09:53:34 AM
The Higgs boson only exists in the LHC and it decays almost instantly, so I don't think we're going to see any practical applications of it, ever.
 
2012-07-09 09:55:39 AM

Ass Exploder: The Higgs boson only exists in the LHC and it decays almost instantly, so I don't think we're going to see any practical applications of it, ever.


I'm sure it will be useful in securing funding for larger particle accelerators. ;-)
 
2012-07-09 09:55:49 AM

Ass Exploder: The Higgs boson only exists in the LHC and it decays almost instantly, so I don't think we're going to see any practical applications of it, ever.


whatever- here is a picture of it in a field. Doesnt look decayed to me. As a matter of fact, it looks "practically" delicious.

weknowmemes.com
 
2012-07-09 09:57:14 AM

Ass Exploder: The Higgs boson only exists in the LHC and it decays almost instantly, so I don't think we're going to see any practical applications of it, ever.


Not with that kind of attitude, certainly.
 
2012-07-09 09:58:34 AM
Without a Heisenberg Compensator, any transporter device is akin to a Shock Rifle set to "insta-kill" mode.
 
2012-07-09 10:00:44 AM
It's not the Higgs itself which is most exciting, but the fact that its existence was predicted and required for String Theory and other mathematical and physics theories, which bridge the gap between classical and quantum physics. There will be a lot more work done on the math and experimentation and will lead to some awesome discoveries in 20-30 years time. As to what, who the hell knows at this point.

/could take a lot longer than that even - 50 to 100 years
//might figure out we need an even bigger collider
 
2012-07-09 10:01:23 AM
www.phdcomics.com
 
2012-07-09 10:02:00 AM

Carn: //might figure out we need an even bigger collider


i.imgur.com
 
2012-07-09 10:02:38 AM

beantowndog: It would be pretty cool if it was.


Not really. Nobody in their right mind should ever get into a Star Trek transporter- it's an execution device.

It doesn't move object A to point B. It *dissassembles* A and then reassembles a copy at point B. The original version of A is destroyed.
 
2012-07-09 10:03:59 AM
sshhhhhhhh......you smell something?
 
2012-07-09 10:04:20 AM

Baron Harkonnen: is there an anti-Higgs Boson waiting to be found


Well, it's a bit weirder than that. It's its own antiparticle. Physics allows this for particles that have no electric charge and are fundamental ie not composed out of other particles. Some other conditions have to be met as well, but there you have it.
 
2012-07-09 10:04:54 AM
I heard that "God particle" was short for "goddamn particle."
 
2012-07-09 10:04:55 AM

btraz70: sshhhhhhhh......you smell something?


I hear what you did there.
 
2012-07-09 10:04:57 AM

poe_zlaw: Ashtrey: Duh, it's the God particle. So it is now a matter of time before scientists outlaw religion. It's what they were after the whole time.

you have got to be kidding. They call it the God particle because this is actually what proves that God exists. There is nothing more evident that there is a higher power because this is so complicated nobody or nothing would be able to figure out such complexity. This test is about proving the existence of God and finally silencing atheists and doubters.


2/10. You'll probably hook a few.
 
2012-07-09 10:05:08 AM
I always thought reporters had it easy. Like the jobs in the movie 'the invention of lying'. Just report the non-fiction that is happening.
Anyone can start what ifs and maybe or other forms of journalism that don't require any thought and have no repercussions.
 
2012-07-09 10:05:23 AM

Glockenspiel Hero: It doesn't move object A to point B. It *dissassembles* A and then reassembles a copy at point B. The original version of A is destroyed.


Or what some men call "my first wife".
 
2012-07-09 10:06:00 AM

Feral Duhbya: I heard that "God particle" was short for "goddamn particle."


It is.
 
2012-07-09 10:06:37 AM
It's not transporters they are leading to, but mass effect. :)
 
2012-07-09 10:06:38 AM
I want to know how much closer we are to Haggar quantum slacks.
 
2012-07-09 10:06:58 AM
I am an expert at alligator/humming bird theroy of unknown science thingy.
 
2012-07-09 10:07:09 AM

Babwa Wawa: Carn: //might figure out we need an even bigger collider

[i.imgur.com image 550x250]


shhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I didn't mention the dark matter sharks!

I've said too much.
 
2012-07-09 10:11:04 AM
The first step to a 'Star Trek' transporter was thinking up a 'Star Trek' transporter. Which happened quite awhile ago.

Unfortunately, the other steps to a 'Star Trek' transporter are rather more difficult.
 
2012-07-09 10:15:34 AM
I would bet that the Compact Muon Solenoid is involved in some Rule 34 action (goatse style) out there:

img12.imageshack.us
 
2012-07-09 10:15:35 AM

WhyteRaven74: Feral Duhbya: I heard that "God particle" was short for "goddamn particle."

It is.


No, the "goddamn particle" is the anti-Higgs Boson which would be...

WhyteRaven74: Well, it's a bit weirder than that. It's its own antiparticle. Physics allows this for particles that have no electric charge and are fundamental ie not composed out of other particles. Some other conditions have to be met as well, but there you have it.


alltheragefaces.com
 
2012-07-09 10:18:50 AM

Glockenspiel Hero: beantowndog: It would be pretty cool if it was.

Not really. Nobody in their right mind should ever get into a Star Trek transporter- it's an execution device.

It doesn't move object A to point B. It *dissassembles* A and then reassembles a copy at point B. The original version of A is destroyed.


Clearly you missed the portion of my comment that established the scientific validity of the idea.
 
2012-07-09 10:21:38 AM

poe_zlaw: Ass Exploder: The Higgs boson only exists in the LHC and it decays almost instantly, so I don't think we're going to see any practical applications of it, ever.

whatever- here is a picture of it in a field. Doesnt look decayed to me. As a matter of fact, it looks "practically" delicious.

[weknowmemes.com image 474x366]


I bet you're from the south.

*clicks on profile*

Yup.
 
2012-07-09 10:23:13 AM

Glockenspiel Hero: beantowndog: It would be pretty cool if it was.

Not really. Nobody in their right mind should ever get into a Star Trek transporter- it's an execution device.

It doesn't move object A to point B. It *dissassembles* A and then reassembles a copy at point B. The original version of A is destroyed.


And yet there's always an evil Kirk haunting the Heisenberg compensators.

www.choosy-beggars.com

You can't explain that.
 
2012-07-09 10:24:50 AM

Fapinator: I would bet that the Compact Muon Solenoid is involved in some Rule 34 action (goatse style) out there:

[img12.imageshack.us image 500x334]


That's some hallway. Would require some hot dog.
 
2012-07-09 10:25:13 AM
You can't explain that.

Your argument is that we can't retcon better than Bill O'Reilly? OK, he's good at retconning politics and history, but come on.
 
2012-07-09 10:25:18 AM
s3-ec.buzzfed.com
 
2012-07-09 10:26:41 AM

Glockenspiel Hero: Not really. Nobody in their right mind should ever get into a Star Trek transporter- it's an execution device.


If Starfleet vessels existed, I wouldn't get on one, for the following reasons:

1) There are no seat belts.
2) For some reason your workstation can explode and kill you.
3) They have pressure suits, but they're not handy.
4) The beds are 1 1/2 feet wide.
5) In the 24th Century, starships have no actual booze, only something called synthehol which is not an intoxicant.
 
2012-07-09 10:26:47 AM

Crudbucket: Ass Exploder: The Higgs boson only exists in the LHC and it decays almost instantly, so I don't think we're going to see any practical applications of it, ever.

Not with that kind of attitude, certainly.


The thing is, he's got something of a point. The Higgs boson no longer exists in the form they found: they briefly caused a very small amount of the Higgs field to revert briefly to the boson state, but the bosons decayed back into the field very quickly.

This doesn't make the study of the bosons completely useless: studying what gave rise to the Higgs field may teach us things about the field itself. But practical interaction, and this applications, will almost certainly have to be with the field as it exists now, not the bosons that were.
 
2012-07-09 10:27:44 AM
FFS, MSM, science and religion are not mutually exclusive. I'm strongly Christian, and stupidly excited whenever mankind makes significant discoveries like this.
 
2012-07-09 10:28:52 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: The acceleration to light speed would still probably kill anything living.


What about ludicrous speed?

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-07-09 10:28:56 AM

Baron Harkonnen: Speaking as someone who has no idea what I'm talking about, a question I have about the Higgs Boson is this: if every particle under the Standard Model has an anti-particle, is there an anti-Higgs Boson waiting to be found? If there is, could that possibly have anything to do with Dark Matter or Dark Energy?


The higgs boson is more the high-energy equivalent of a reaction intermediate state than something that's floating around all the time, iirc. It's named Higgs after Higgs field theory, as the particle is related to one of the proposed mechanisms that that theory would operate under.

Dark matter has mass, it just doesn't interact in the usual ways with the radiation we use to examine the rest of the universe. So its relationship to this particle would be the same as ours. Dark energy is in more or less the same situation.

So, yeah, short version: no, talking about different stuff here.
 
2012-07-09 10:32:34 AM

Trance750: AverageAmericanGuy: The acceleration to light speed would still probably kill anything living.

What about ludicrous speed?

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 396x300]


Still realistic, if you don't mind your brains going into your feet.
 
2012-07-09 10:35:05 AM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: Without a Heisenberg Compensator, any transporter device is akin to a Shock Rifle set to "insta-kill" mode.


If you can't accurately determine the speed and position of an electron, you can't really make an exact duplicate of the matter that you are "dematerializing".
 
2012-07-09 10:36:29 AM

Millennium: Crudbucket: Ass Exploder: The Higgs boson only exists in the LHC and it decays almost instantly, so I don't think we're going to see any practical applications of it, ever.

Not with that kind of attitude, certainly.

The thing is, he's got something of a point. The Higgs boson no longer exists in the form they found: they briefly caused a very small amount of the Higgs field to revert briefly to the boson state, but the bosons decayed back into the field very quickly.

This doesn't make the study of the bosons completely useless: studying what gave rise to the Higgs field may teach us things about the field itself. But practical interaction, and this applications, will almost certainly have to be with the field as it exists now, not the bosons that were.


Point shmoint. Invent a way to stop the particles from decaying, make more of them, and then build a transporter. Easy peasy!
 
2012-07-09 10:37:18 AM
4.bp.blogspot.com
Got my best man working on it
 
2012-07-09 10:38:22 AM
It seems to me that the most obvious application would be hard light holograms.
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
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