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(Jalopnik)   Unstoppable penis replacement, meet immoveable douche   (jalopnik.com) divider line 99
    More: Fail, Lamborghini, BMW, penis, douche bags  
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22487 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jul 2012 at 3:00 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-09 12:11:19 PM  
Nice. I'm beginning to wonder if these thing have a flaw, since several have gotten out of control and crashed. And I think it's more than the flaw behind the steering wheel.
 
2012-07-09 01:26:48 PM  
Two men were in the Lambo when the car suddenly lurched, crossed the opposite lane and crashed into "Valli Motorrad" which specializes in BMW motorcycles.

Yeeaaah.

They should really consider restricting horsepower on these things for a while after purchase as a kind of training wheels system.
 
2012-07-09 03:02:47 PM  
Here's a pic of the lesbian behind the wheel

encrypted-tbn2.google.com
 
2012-07-09 03:02:47 PM  
Unstoppable, but was it detachable?
 
2012-07-09 03:03:00 PM  
Man, I was kind of afraid to click that one after reading the headline.
 
2012-07-09 03:06:53 PM  
TFA:
...the Lamborghini did quite a bit of damage to itself ...

No, it did not. The douchecanoe that couldn't handle a clutch did.
 
2012-07-09 03:09:29 PM  
This is what happens when you try to drive with your penis.
 
2012-07-09 03:09:31 PM  

MoronLessOff: Unstoppable, but was it detachable?


Yes, the driver was able to exit the vehicle. He's probably not happy right now since these things can be a pain in the ass.
 
2012-07-09 03:10:18 PM  
I clicked. I read. I was relieved that Lindsay Lohan wasn't behind the wheel on this one.
 
2012-07-09 03:11:16 PM  

cretinbob: Nice. I'm beginning to wonder if these thing have a flaw, since several have gotten out of control and crashed.


The flaw is that the people who buy them don't understand what 600+ bhp can actually do.
God, what a shame. The Murcielago is an absolutely gorgeous and fantastic car.
 
2012-07-09 03:11:17 PM  
Well done, subby.
 
2012-07-09 03:11:21 PM  
I'll just leave this here...
 
2012-07-09 03:13:49 PM  

MAYORBOB: I clicked. I read. I was relieved that Lindsay Lohan wasn't behind the wheel on this one.


What is fark's death pool up to for Lindsay?
 
2012-07-09 03:16:07 PM  
The penis looks pretty banged up, but I think it can be buffed right out, and finished with a nice shammy.
 
2012-07-09 03:17:45 PM  

cretinbob: Nice. I'm beginning to wonder if these thing have a flaw, since several have gotten out of control and crashed. And I think it's more than the flaw behind the steering wheel.


PICNIC: Problem In Chair, Not In Car.
 
2012-07-09 03:17:57 PM  
Which one was the immoveable douche?
 
2012-07-09 03:19:49 PM  

Killer Cars: I'll just leave this here...


Nice.
 
2012-07-09 03:20:02 PM  

Evil Mackerel: MAYORBOB: I clicked. I read. I was relieved that Lindsay Lohan wasn't behind the wheel on this one.

What is fark's death pool up to for Lindsay?


The New Jersey State lottery.
 
2012-07-09 03:22:32 PM  
I slow clap to your headline, subs. Of coarse deep down we're just jealous. But name calling does make me feel better.
 
2012-07-09 03:27:07 PM  
Eh, Lambo's were cool in the 80s but I don't drive either of mine anymore. And a BMW motorcycle? Why not just move to Europe and die on the floor of bathhouse? Personally, I find it more rewarding to walk everywhere.
 
2012-07-09 03:27:14 PM  
Who wants a car that powerful for everyday driving? You'll never get to maximize its use. What's the point?
 
2012-07-09 03:28:11 PM  

PeterPipersPickledPecker: cretinbob: Nice. I'm beginning to wonder if these thing have a flaw, since several have gotten out of control and crashed. And I think it's more than the flaw behind the steering wheel.

PICNIC: Problem In Chair, Not In Car.


Ooh, I like it. Haven't heard that one before, just the tech support equivalent, a PEBKAC Error: Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair.
 
2012-07-09 03:31:13 PM  

Ishkur: Who wants a car that powerful for everyday driving? You'll never get to maximize its use. What's the point?


People don't notice your large, throbbing penis when you're doing laps around the Nürburgring. They do however at stop lights and at the Whole Foods parking lot.
 
2012-07-09 03:32:15 PM  

spentmiles: Eh, Lambo's were cool in the 80s but I don't drive either of mine anymore. And a BMW motorcycle? Why not just move to Europe and die on the floor of bathhouse? Personally, I find it more rewarding to walk everywhere.


But you refuse to give up doing blow off super models' butt cheeks.
 
2012-07-09 03:33:28 PM  

DeathBySmiley: Well done, subby.


Subby wins, we can all take the rest of the day off.
 
2012-07-09 03:33:52 PM  
i4.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-09 03:35:07 PM  

spentmiles: Eh, Lambo's were cool in the 80s but I don't drive either of mine anymore. And a BMW motorcycle? Why not just move to Europe and die on the floor of bathhouse? Personally, I find it more rewarding to walk everywhere.


I travel exclusively by hydrofoil.
 
2012-07-09 03:40:27 PM  
Chuck Norris died?
 
2012-07-09 03:40:28 PM  
spentmiles: Eh, Lambo's were cool in the 80s but I don't drive either of mine anymore. And a BMW motorcycle? Why not just move to Europe and die on the floor of bathhouse? Personally, I find it more rewarding to walk everywhere.

Meh, I doubt you'll find too many BMW riders who care.

5/10
 
2012-07-09 03:46:04 PM  
Based on the headline, I thought the column from the guy complaining about Trojan vibrators at Wal-Mart got greenlit again.
 
2012-07-09 03:46:11 PM  

Last Man on Earth: PeterPipersPickledPecker: cretinbob: Nice. I'm beginning to wonder if these thing have a flaw, since several have gotten out of control and crashed. And I think it's more than the flaw behind the steering wheel.

PICNIC: Problem In Chair, Not In Car.

Ooh, I like it. Haven't heard that one before, just the tech support equivalent, a PEBKAC Error: Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair.


I've used both in the Tech world:
Problem In Chair Not In Computer
 
2012-07-09 03:46:16 PM  
"An Italian car, produced under a German parent company crashed into an Italian motorcycle dealership selling German bikes. "
 
2012-07-09 03:48:30 PM  

Rapmaster2000: spentmiles: Eh, Lambo's were cool in the 80s but I don't drive either of mine anymore. And a BMW motorcycle? Why not just move to Europe and die on the floor of bathhouse? Personally, I find it more rewarding to walk everywhere.

I travel exclusively by hydrofoil.


Astral projection!
 
2012-07-09 03:48:41 PM  

Gawdzila: cretinbob: Nice. I'm beginning to wonder if these thing have a flaw, since several have gotten out of control and crashed.

The flaw is that the people who buy them don't understand what 600+ bhp can actually do.
God, what a shame. The Murcielago is an absolutely gorgeous and fantastic car.


This!

Just bought a Charger SRT8. 450bhp and 150k less than the lambo. It has a nifty ESP button that will keep the rear wheels from spinning no matter what you do. I refer to it as Stupid on/off button. I've laid into it in stupid mode on a few times and have decided to save it for the track. It goes from zero to sideways in .06 seconds.
 
2012-07-09 03:49:36 PM  
Outside the store where I work, an SUV crashed into a Bentley. It was kind of funny. And no one was hurt.

/CSS
 
2012-07-09 03:49:42 PM  

ghostwind: "An Italian car, produced under a German parent company crashed into an Italian motorcycle dealership selling German bikes. "


media.comicvine.com
"Go on..."
 
2012-07-09 03:56:22 PM  

sammyk: Gawdzila: cretinbob: Nice. I'm beginning to wonder if these thing have a flaw, since several have gotten out of control and crashed.

The flaw is that the people who buy them don't understand what 600+ bhp can actually do.
God, what a shame. The Murcielago is an absolutely gorgeous and fantastic car.

This!

Just bought a Charger SRT8. 450bhp and 150k less than the lambo. It has a nifty ESP button that will keep the rear wheels from spinning no matter what you do. I refer to it as Stupid on/off button. I've laid into it in stupid mode on a few times and have decided to save it for the track. It goes from zero to sideways in .06 seconds.


Pssh, it's way more fun driving with that button off.

On another note, how do you like it?
 
2012-07-09 03:56:47 PM  

MoronLessOff: Unstoppable, but was it detachable?


If it's missing, try looking down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place, where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street.

But have breakfast at the Kiev first.
 
2012-07-09 03:57:15 PM  

sammyk: It goes from zero to sideways in .06 seconds.


Awesome. Reminds me of this. Light turns green at :47.
 
2012-07-09 04:00:23 PM  

cretinbob: Nice. I'm beginning to wonder if these thing have a flaw, since several have gotten out of control and crashed. And I think it's more than the flaw behind the steering wheel.


This is why I'd never buy one even if I somehow managed to come into that kind of money, unless I was willing to spend the time to learn to drive one with an instructor. It's like buying a plane after getting instruction in an ultralight.
 
2012-07-09 04:01:10 PM  

Eirik: cretinbob: Nice. I'm beginning to wonder if these thing have a flaw, since several have gotten out of control and crashed. And I think it's more than the flaw behind the steering wheel.

This is why I'd never buy one even if I somehow managed to come into that kind of money, unless I was willing to spend the time to learn to drive one with an instructor. It's like buying a plane after getting instruction in an ultralight.


I'd settle for someone teaching me how to drive a manual.
 
2012-07-09 04:01:24 PM  

PeterPipersPickledPecker: PICNIC: Problem In Chair, Not In Car.


But... the chair is in the car!
 
2012-07-09 04:03:45 PM  

Ishkur: Who wants a car that powerful for everyday driving? You'll never get to maximize its use. What's the point?


I could, but I'd have several tickets.

Most of my drive to work is down I-80 in Wyoming.
 
2012-07-09 04:05:23 PM  

Gawdzila: cretinbob: Nice. I'm beginning to wonder if these thing have a flaw, since several have gotten out of control and crashed.

The flaw is that the people who buy them don't understand what 600+ bhp can actually do.
God, what a shame. The Murcielago is an absolutely gorgeous and fantastic car.


Indeed. Torque is a harsh mistress.
 
2012-07-09 04:05:35 PM  

BeezyBates: I slow clap to your headline, subs. Of coarse deep down we're just jealous. But name calling does make me feel better.


That was a bit course, don't you think?
 
2012-07-09 04:07:11 PM  
cdn.static.ovimg.com

You can't handle the bionic penis... It's too big...
 
2012-07-09 04:07:36 PM  

Eirik: cretinbob: Nice. I'm beginning to wonder if these thing have a flaw, since several have gotten out of control and crashed. And I think it's more than the flaw behind the steering wheel.

This is why I'd never buy one even if I somehow managed to come into that kind of money, unless I was willing to spend the time to learn to drive one with an instructor. It's like buying a plane after getting instruction in an ultralight.


$250/day. Come down to the road track in Spokane. There's always about 5 instructors available.

Always confuses me why there aren't more people out there with the number of 400hp+ cars being sold lately.
 
2012-07-09 04:07:40 PM  

TheYeti: Two men were in the Lambo when the car suddenly lurched, crossed the opposite lane and crashed into "Valli Motorrad" which specializes in BMW motorcycles.


So Marussia's drivers have a mid-week hobby now?
 
2012-07-09 04:15:15 PM  

Teufelaffe: Gawdzila: cretinbob: Nice. I'm beginning to wonder if these thing have a flaw, since several have gotten out of control and crashed.

The flaw is that the people who buy them don't understand what 600+ bhp can actually do.
God, what a shame. The Murcielago is an absolutely gorgeous and fantastic car.

Indeed. Torque is a harsh mistress.


Meh. I'm off by one letter again.
 
2012-07-09 04:15:26 PM  

Julieahni: Outside the store where I work, an SUV crashed into a Bentley. It was kind of funny. And no one was hurt.

/CSS


The new future-ex-Mrs-Dreidel (we just started datingish) lives on the first floor of a palatial estate. The garage (where laundry room is) has a sparkling clean Bentley in it. First one I've seen up close.

Meh. I've seen nicer.

// but not more expensive
 
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