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(WFTV Orlando)   News: Man arrested on attempted murder charges for shooting at police officers. Fark: With Roman candles   (wftv.com) divider line 86
    More: Florida, police officers  
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3618 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jul 2012 at 1:16 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-09 01:19:14 AM  
I can't wait to use that glyph in Mists of Pandaria. Shooting fireworks at mobs and bosses, fark yeah.
 
2012-07-09 01:19:54 AM  
FTA "Shocked actually, figure people would have more sense than that," said resident Eric Allen.

YOU ARE IN FLORIDA! THERE IS A REASON YOU HAVE YOUR OWN TAG!
 
2012-07-09 01:22:31 AM  
i thought the Romans were no longer in power?
 
2012-07-09 01:24:24 AM  
Video of the getaway:

ClickyPops
 
2012-07-09 01:28:20 AM  
i.cnn.net
 
2012-07-09 01:30:35 AM  
Not surprised. Look at a cop wrong and you'll be charged with assaulting an officer. No plea bargain for you.
 
2012-07-09 01:32:19 AM  

brianbankerus: Not surprised. Look at a cop wrong and you'll be charged with assaulting an officer. No plea bargain for you.


Yeah Attempt murder is too much. However Felony Assault I could see. Either way he's a dumbass.
/Also bail for four counts of attempted murder is rather low in Florida. Would explain a few things.
 
2012-07-09 01:33:08 AM  
'Attempted second degree murder?' That'll flop in court... unless the prosecution can somehow demonstrate that roman candles are a deadly weapon.

Or is Florida of those backwards states that gives the jury a big list of possible charges, up to and including murder 2, and tells them to start at the top and go down until they pick a good one?
 
2012-07-09 01:36:12 AM  

ElLoco: 'Attempted second degree murder?' That'll flop in court... unless the prosecution can somehow demonstrate that roman candles are a deadly weapon.

Or is Florida of those backwards states that gives the jury a big list of possible charges, up to and including murder 2, and tells them to start at the top and go down until they pick a good one?


They can set you on fire, dumbass. It wouldn't be an efficient means of murder, but just wait a little bit, and it will kill a man.
 
2012-07-09 01:37:32 AM  
he would have gotten more bang for his buck with bottle rockets
 
2012-07-09 01:38:19 AM  

LoneWolf343: They can set you on fire, dumbass. It wouldn't be an efficient means of murder, but just wait a little bit, and it will kill a man.


lol... ok. heheh
 
2012-07-09 01:38:28 AM  

LoneWolf343: ElLoco: 'Attempted second degree murder?' That'll flop in court... unless the prosecution can somehow demonstrate that roman candles are a deadly weapon.

Or is Florida of those backwards states that gives the jury a big list of possible charges, up to and including murder 2, and tells them to start at the top and go down until they pick a good one?

They can set you on fire, dumbass. It wouldn't be an efficient means of murder, but just wait a little bit, and it will kill a man.


I'm guessing you've never had Roman Candle wars. They burn, for sure, but they're not likely to set you on fire unless you're wearing a hula skirt and drinking gasoline or something.
 
2012-07-09 01:40:38 AM  
content9.flixster.com

I can't have an F, I can't have it and I know my parents can't have it. Even if I aced the rest of the semester, I'm still only a B. And everything's ruined for me.

... fark! So I considered my options, you know?
 
2012-07-09 01:41:33 AM  

untaken_name: I'm guessing you've never had Roman Candle wars. They burn, for sure, but they're not likely to set you on fire unless you're wearing a hula skirt and drinking gasoline or something.


You're mixing your holidays. Roman candle wars are for the 4th of July. Wearing a hula skirt and drinking gasoline is for Halloween.
 
2012-07-09 01:41:46 AM  
They had me at "shooting our dog is shooting a police officer"

/meanwhile they'll blow fido's head off in front of the kids if he growls at them funny.
 
2012-07-09 01:44:56 AM  
Only an imbecile would choose police beacons in lieu of fireworks for his "rocket's red glare".
 
2012-07-09 01:46:45 AM  

studebaker hoch: They had me at "shooting our dog is shooting a police officer"

/meanwhile they'll blow fido's head off in front of the kids if he growls at them funny.


The goddamned bomb-disposal robots are treated as police officers.
 
2012-07-09 01:46:49 AM  
when he shows up for court:

judge - "how do you plead?"

defendant - "your honor, I got your roman candle right here" (crotch grab)
 
2012-07-09 01:47:12 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: untaken_name: I'm guessing you've never had Roman Candle wars. They burn, for sure, but they're not likely to set you on fire unless you're wearing a hula skirt and drinking gasoline or something.

You're mixing your holidays. Roman candle wars are for the 4th of July. Wearing a hula skirt and drinking gasoline is for Halloween.


Don't tell me how to celebrate. Roman Candle wars, hula skirts, and drinking gasoline is for EVERY holiday.
 
2012-07-09 01:47:43 AM  

untaken_name: LoneWolf343: ElLoco: 'Attempted second degree murder?' That'll flop in court... unless the prosecution can somehow demonstrate that roman candles are a deadly weapon.

Or is Florida of those backwards states that gives the jury a big list of possible charges, up to and including murder 2, and tells them to start at the top and go down until they pick a good one?

They can set you on fire, dumbass. It wouldn't be an efficient means of murder, but just wait a little bit, and it will kill a man.

I'm guessing you've never had Roman Candle wars. They burn, for sure, but they're not likely to set you on fire unless you're wearing a hula skirt and drinking gasoline or something.


You're right, because I am not retarded.
 
2012-07-09 01:49:41 AM  

untaken_name: Danger Avoid Death: untaken_name: I'm guessing you've never had Roman Candle wars. They burn, for sure, but they're not likely to set you on fire unless you're wearing a hula skirt and drinking gasoline or something.

You're mixing your holidays. Roman candle wars are for the 4th of July. Wearing a hula skirt and drinking gasoline is for Halloween.

Don't tell me how to celebrate. Roman Candle wars, hula skirts, and drinking gasoline is for EVERY holiday.


Are you free for Christmas?
 
2012-07-09 01:50:18 AM  

LoneWolf343: untaken_name: LoneWolf343: ElLoco: 'Attempted second degree murder?' That'll flop in court... unless the prosecution can somehow demonstrate that roman candles are a deadly weapon.

Or is Florida of those backwards states that gives the jury a big list of possible charges, up to and including murder 2, and tells them to start at the top and go down until they pick a good one?

They can set you on fire, dumbass. It wouldn't be an efficient means of murder, but just wait a little bit, and it will kill a man.

I'm guessing you've never had Roman Candle wars. They burn, for sure, but they're not likely to set you on fire unless you're wearing a hula skirt and drinking gasoline or something.

You're right, because I am not retarded. have tiny little cojones


FTFY.
 
2012-07-09 01:51:11 AM  

thatboyoverthere: brianbankerus: Not surprised. Look at a cop wrong and you'll be charged with assaulting an officer. No plea bargain for you.

Yeah Attempt murder is too much. However Felony Assault I could see. Either way he's a dumbass.
/Also bail for four counts of attempted murder is rather low in Florida. Would explain a few things.


For that matter, try to stop the canine from chewing your arm off and that's also assaulting an officer.
 
2012-07-09 01:51:14 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: untaken_name: Danger Avoid Death: untaken_name: I'm guessing you've never had Roman Candle wars. They burn, for sure, but they're not likely to set you on fire unless you're wearing a hula skirt and drinking gasoline or something.

You're mixing your holidays. Roman candle wars are for the 4th of July. Wearing a hula skirt and drinking gasoline is for Halloween.

Don't tell me how to celebrate. Roman Candle wars, hula skirts, and drinking gasoline is for EVERY holiday.

Are you free for Christmas?


No, but I'm cheap and available. *wink*
 
2012-07-09 01:54:10 AM  

Keizer_Ghidorah: studebaker hoch: They had me at "shooting our dog is shooting a police officer"

/meanwhile they'll blow fido's head off in front of the kids if he growls at them funny.

The goddamned bomb-disposal robots are treated as police officers.


Joking, right? Please.
 
2012-07-09 01:56:20 AM  
Attempted murder? Mopery, maybe...
 
2012-07-09 01:56:37 AM  
Apparently, Florida hasn't learned from the Casey Anthony trial that you should probably charge the suspect with the crime he/she committed.
 
2012-07-09 01:56:47 AM  

LoneWolf343: untaken_name: LoneWolf343: ElLoco: 'Attempted second degree murder?' That'll flop in court... unless the prosecution can somehow demonstrate that roman candles are a deadly weapon.

Or is Florida of those backwards states that gives the jury a big list of possible charges, up to and including murder 2, and tells them to start at the top and go down until they pick a good one?

They can set you on fire, dumbass. It wouldn't be an efficient means of murder, but just wait a little bit, and it will kill a man.

I'm guessing you've never had Roman Candle wars. They burn, for sure, but they're not likely to set you on fire unless you're wearing a hula skirt and drinking gasoline or something.

You're right, because I am not retarded a vagina.


...and probably a blast at parties.
 
2012-07-09 02:12:09 AM  
Another terrorist rounded up under the Patriot Act. Let's hear it for the brave men and women of the the Orlando PD. (Never mind that rapist over there -- his Stars & Stripes boxer shorts are obviously the signs of a perfectly harmless Real American.)
 
2012-07-09 02:13:15 AM  

lecavalier: Apparently, Florida hasn't learned from the Casey Anthony trial that you should probably charge the suspect with the crime he/she committed.


THIS

/End thread nao.
 
2012-07-09 02:16:06 AM  

Mr. Pokeylope: LoneWolf343: untaken_name: LoneWolf343: ElLoco: 'Attempted second degree murder?' That'll flop in court... unless the prosecution can somehow demonstrate that roman candles are a deadly weapon.

Or is Florida of those backwards states that gives the jury a big list of possible charges, up to and including murder 2, and tells them to start at the top and go down until they pick a good one?

They can set you on fire, dumbass. It wouldn't be an efficient means of murder, but just wait a little bit, and it will kill a man.

I'm guessing you've never had Roman Candle wars. They burn, for sure, but they're not likely to set you on fire unless you're wearing a hula skirt and drinking gasoline or something.

You're right, because I am not retarded a vagina one of the 9000 people injured by fireworks every year.

...and probably a blast at parties.


FTFM, and reality, dickhead.
 
2012-07-09 02:18:56 AM  

lecavalier: Apparently, Florida hasn't learned from the Casey Anthony trial that you should probably charge the suspect with the crime he/she committed.


Same thing with that foreigner who shot the black kid. Murder? Really?
 
2012-07-09 02:22:11 AM  

LoneWolf343: Mr. Pokeylope: LoneWolf343: untaken_name: LoneWolf343: ElLoco: 'Attempted second degree murder?' That'll flop in court... unless the prosecution can somehow demonstrate that roman candles are a deadly weapon.

Or is Florida of those backwards states that gives the jury a big list of possible charges, up to and including murder 2, and tells them to start at the top and go down until they pick a good one?

They can set you on fire, dumbass. It wouldn't be an efficient means of murder, but just wait a little bit, and it will kill a man.

I'm guessing you've never had Roman Candle wars. They burn, for sure, but they're not likely to set you on fire unless you're wearing a hula skirt and drinking gasoline or something.

You're right, because I am not retarded a vagina one of the 9000 people injured by fireworks every year.

...and probably a blast at parties.

FTFM, and reality, dickhead.


Unreasonable fear of minor injury - just more evidence that you're craven. I hope you don't drive - that *kills* 40,000 people per year.
 
2012-07-09 02:23:45 AM  
If the cops has returned fire this wouldnt even be a problem. Cops are such pussies about shooting people anymore
 
2012-07-09 02:24:37 AM  

lecavalier: Apparently, Florida hasn't learned from the Casey Anthony trial that you should probably charge the suspect with the crime he/she committed.


For what it's worth... the last two district court juries I sat on fell into that category.

Each time, the court and prosecutor sat a worthless scumbag in front of us that was in desperate need of jail time. Each was clearly guilty of a felony and the evidence showed as much. However, in each case, the prosecutor charged the defendants with a crime much more severe than even the one(s) that they committed by a full order of magnitude. They proved that they committed a crime, but not the crime for which they were charged.

We had no choice. Both times, we requested a copy of the penal code pertaining to each of the charges with the specifics of what each charge required. Deliberation lasted less than 10 minutes both times, not counting the time to get us our reference material. Not guilty, in each case.
 
2012-07-09 02:27:20 AM  
While police waited for back up, cops said Stephenson started shooting fireworks at them from a van parked on the other side of the street. In the report officers wrote, "The green fireballs were being fired in our direction. All of us felt as if we were being fired upon."

Want to be considered a hero, don't act like a weenie.

/Or just lighten up a touch as a start.
 
2012-07-09 02:28:22 AM  
Driving and shooting roman candles at people are safe. Crashing and being hit by roman camdles are where the real danger comes into play
 
2012-07-09 02:31:25 AM  

Enemabag Jones: Want to be considered a hero, don't act like a weenie.

/Or just lighten up a touch as a start.


The cops or the guy shooting roman candles at therm?
 
2012-07-09 02:34:12 AM  

mikaloyd: Driving and shooting roman candles at people are safe. Crashing and being hit by roman camdles are where the real danger comes into play


And jumping off a cliff doesn't hurt until you hit the ground. I'm with you on this.
 
2012-07-09 02:34:28 AM  

LoneWolf343: ElLoco: 'Attempted second degree murder?' That'll flop in court... unless the prosecution can somehow demonstrate that roman candles are a deadly weapon.

Or is Florida of those backwards states that gives the jury a big list of possible charges, up to and including murder 2, and tells them to start at the top and go down until they pick a good one?

They can set you on fire, dumbass. It wouldn't be an efficient means of murder, but just wait a little bit, and it will kill a man.


The article must have left out the part where the cops were soaked in gasoline.
 
2012-07-09 02:35:16 AM  

LoneWolf343: ElLoco: 'Attempted second degree murder?' That'll flop in court... unless the prosecution can somehow demonstrate that roman candles are a deadly weapon.

Or is Florida of those backwards states that gives the jury a big list of possible charges, up to and including murder 2, and tells them to start at the top and go down until they pick a good one?

They can set you on fire, dumbass. It wouldn't be an efficient means of murder, but just wait a little bit, and it will kill a man.


And Chihuahuas can be lethal if you're a really deep sleeper.
 
2012-07-09 02:36:40 AM  

MrFi5ter: LoneWolf343: ElLoco: 'Attempted second degree murder?' That'll flop in court... unless the prosecution can somehow demonstrate that roman candles are a deadly weapon.

Or is Florida of those backwards states that gives the jury a big list of possible charges, up to and including murder 2, and tells them to start at the top and go down until they pick a good one?

They can set you on fire, dumbass. It wouldn't be an efficient means of murder, but just wait a little bit, and it will kill a man.

The article must have left out the part where the cops were soaked in gasoline.


And wearing hula skirts. It was a holiday, after all.
 
2012-07-09 02:40:06 AM  

LoneWolf343: untaken_name: LoneWolf343: ElLoco: 'Attempted second degree murder?' That'll flop in court... unless the prosecution can somehow demonstrate that roman candles are a deadly weapon.

Or is Florida of those backwards states that gives the jury a big list of possible charges, up to and including murder 2, and tells them to start at the top and go down until they pick a good one?

They can set you on fire, dumbass. It wouldn't be an efficient means of murder, but just wait a little bit, and it will kill a man.

I'm guessing you've never had Roman Candle wars. They burn, for sure, but they're not likely to set you on fire unless you're wearing a hula skirt and drinking gasoline or something.

You're right, because I am not retarded.


No not retarded but definitely a pansy. I have been hit on three or four occasions with flying and still burning fireworks and I am still here to call you what you seem to be. The cops are pansies also if they think someone was trying to kill them with anything short of a real weapon.
 
2012-07-09 02:41:02 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: MrFi5ter: LoneWolf343: ElLoco: 'Attempted second degree murder?' That'll flop in court... unless the prosecution can somehow demonstrate that roman candles are a deadly weapon.

Or is Florida of those backwards states that gives the jury a big list of possible charges, up to and including murder 2, and tells them to start at the top and go down until they pick a good one?

They can set you on fire, dumbass. It wouldn't be an efficient means of murder, but just wait a little bit, and it will kill a man.

The article must have left out the part where the cops were soaked in gasoline.

And wearing hula skirts. It was a holiday, after all.


t1.gstatic.com
 
2012-07-09 02:42:25 AM  
Launching roman candles in the general direction of a person is now considered attempted murder, a crime with no statute of limitations? Shiat. I knew my misspent youth would come back to haunt me.

Off to Google... need to find some pleasant country with no extradition treaty with the US.
 
2012-07-09 02:42:33 AM  
This thread is boring. We need a new Martin / Zimmerman thread. Now THOSE are entertaining!
 
2012-07-09 02:42:53 AM  

untaken_name: Danger Avoid Death: untaken_name: I'm guessing you've never had Roman Candle wars. They burn, for sure, but they're not likely to set you on fire unless you're wearing a hula skirt and drinking gasoline or something.

You're mixing your holidays. Roman candle wars are for the 4th of July. Wearing a hula skirt and drinking gasoline is for Halloween.

Don't tell me how to celebrate. Roman Candle wars, hula skirts, and drinking gasoline is for EVERY holiday.


Please film your next "blow shiat up" party. We'll laugh at your expense when you die but it'll be a good kind of laugh. A fark laugh. Then we'll photoshop penises (penisii?) upon the images and send you off to the great drunken sky.
 
2012-07-09 02:44:51 AM  

Gimmick: Launching roman candles in the general direction of a person is now considered attempted murder, a crime with no statute of limitations? Shiat. I knew my misspent youth would come back to haunt me.

Off to Google... need to find some pleasant country with no extradition treaty with the US.


well, bye
 
2012-07-09 02:51:16 AM  

Smeggy Smurf: Please film your next "blow shiat up" party. We'll laugh at your expense when you die but it'll be a good kind of laugh. A fark laugh. Then we'll photoshop penises (penisii?) upon the images and send you off to the great drunken sky.


Why would I die at a "blow shiat up" party? People who hold them regularly are typically pretty careful. It's the dilettantes who blow themselves up. Here's a link to the video of our last "blow shiat up" party:

Link
 
2012-07-09 02:52:17 AM  
I am working on this theory, it is about how authority is used in the United States. Also how how respect is expected in a very one-sided way.

Take TSA pat down artists, flight attendants, police, even the rep you talk to for your credit card. I am talking about how much power someone has (who is willing to use it), and how asymmetrical the power relationship goes.

Police have alot of power and are free to be jerks. They can be huge jerks to civilians, but people can't be a jerk to a cop. Or as some people would say, just be a polite to a cop and things will be find. If the cop is being an asshole or cutting corners, it is not the cop's problem.

Even TSA officials will throw around criminal charges when someone (probably with a Ron Paul sticker somewhere in their life) stars recording them because they perceive disrespect and won't let it go.

Some flight attendants are getting sick of their jobs and instead of quitting, are taking it out on the customer. Too often, instead of using polite powers of persuasion first, why bother. Call it a FAA incident and force the plane to land because the customer won't do what they want, even if it does not threaten the flight.

Why did I mention the credit card agent on the other end of the phone? It is about the arbitary use of power because you can. Throw in a four-letter word on the conversation, some agents will use that as an excuse to cut the call even it it was not aimed at them.

The perception of politeness is being dropped and more people are being assholes, just because they can.

/There are still nice people out there too.
 
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