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(WCNC Charlotte)   Man induces SWAT standoff after barricading himself in a hotel room and demanding pizza and to marry Paris Hilton. Man begged to be taken in after the police complied with his wishes and delivered Paris Hilton   (wcnc.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, SWAT team, Hampton Inn, second floor, Belmont Stakes, hotels  
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8670 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Jul 2012 at 2:19 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



65 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2012-07-07 11:27:56 PM  
encrypted-tbn0.google.com

He was trying for the insanity defense. It's harder after Bea Arthur died...
 
2012-07-08 12:05:48 AM  
Authorities say he's had several run-ins with SWAT Teams in other states.

alltheragefaces.com
 
2012-07-08 02:20:40 AM  
For his sentence...make him MARRY Paris Hilton.
 
2012-07-08 02:23:11 AM  
Authorities say he's had several run-ins with SWAT Teams in other states.

Me? I just get drunk for entertainment. Or rent a movie.

Of course, it sounds like the preferred method of dealing with this yahoo is to put him on a bus to somewhere else.
 
2012-07-08 02:24:39 AM  
The cars look like poor holographic projections.
 
2012-07-08 02:25:20 AM  
o.onionstatic.com
 
2012-07-08 02:26:53 AM  
Obviously crazy, no one else has needed to marry her to enjoy her favors.
 
2012-07-08 02:29:49 AM  
He should be instructionalized solely on his choice of celeb obsession.
 
2012-07-08 02:31:44 AM  

Apos: He should be instructionalized solely on his choice of celeb obsession.



Maybe 'institutionalized' was the word you were looking for?
 
2012-07-08 02:32:28 AM  
Sometimes; you just have to induce a standoff, demand pizza and demand to be married to Paris Hilton.

/ I just don't know when an applicable situation might arise.

// Perhaps; as some sort of public service, following a horrific crime. But, by definition, that would be cruel and unusual punishment.
 
2012-07-08 02:35:00 AM  

adeist69: Apos: He should be instructionalized solely on his choice of celeb obsession.


Maybe 'institutionalized' was the word you were looking for?


Indeed. Stupid auto-correct got the better of me.
 
2012-07-08 02:40:34 AM  

Apos: adeist69: Apos: He should be instructionalized solely on his choice of celeb obsession.


Maybe 'institutionalized' was the word you were looking for?

Indeed. Stupid auto-correct got the better of me.



I wanna know what platform your on, 'cause Windows 7 keeps telling me 'instructionalized' isn't even a real word.
 
2012-07-08 02:43:36 AM  
Why not deliver that useless skank to this crazy, fat, old party animal. Can you think of a better use for her? I can't either.
 
2012-07-08 02:45:26 AM  
Sometimes you have to make consessions with these guys to avoid a standoff. He wants a pizza and Paris Hilton, you give it to him.
It's not like he asked for Kate Upton and some lobster.
 
2012-07-08 02:46:30 AM  

Relatively Obscure: Authorities say he's had several run-ins with SWAT Teams in other states.

[alltheragefaces.com image 300x226]


My apartment was once raided by a SWAT team. There was also an ATF agent present. This happened in New Hampshire of all places, and no successful charges were ever brought against anyone. Long story.
 
2012-07-08 02:48:22 AM  

adeist69: Apos: adeist69: Apos: He should be instructionalized solely on his choice of celeb obsession.


Maybe 'institutionalized' was the word you were looking for?

Indeed. Stupid auto-correct got the better of me.


I wanna know what platform your on, 'cause Windows 7 keeps telling me 'instructionalized' isn't even a real word.


It isn't a real word. Instructed and instructional are,of course,but "instructionalized" isn't.

/On the iPhone 4S,BTW
//Auto-correct seems to do more harm than good.
 
2012-07-08 02:55:36 AM  
You gotta have one crazy demand so you can plead insanity.

/heh.... getaway car, pfft
 
2012-07-08 02:56:29 AM  
The poor guy, that really is a mental illness.
 
2012-07-08 02:57:33 AM  

Apos: adeist69: Apos: adeist69: Apos: He should be instructionalized solely on his choice of celeb obsession.


Maybe 'institutionalized' was the word you were looking for?

Indeed. Stupid auto-correct got the better of me.


I wanna know what platform your on, 'cause Windows 7 keeps telling me 'instructionalized' isn't even a real word.

It isn't a real word. Instructed and instructional are,of course,but "instructionalized" isn't.

/On the iPhone 4S,BTW
//Auto-correct seems to do more harm than good.



That was my point, I was curious what OS was making up words. :)


But I digress, we should be making fun of the overweight old guy who doesn't have access to Paris Hilton internet pr0n or pizza delivery.
 
2012-07-08 03:00:47 AM  

Apos: /On the iPhone 4S,BTW
//Auto-correct seems to do more harm than good.


Damn you autocorrect!
www.leehopkins.net
 
2012-07-08 03:00:51 AM  
never mind
 
2012-07-08 03:02:59 AM  

adeist69: Apos: adeist69: Apos: adeist69: Apos: He should be instructionalized solely on his choice of celeb obsession.


Maybe 'institutionalized' was the word you were looking for?

Indeed. Stupid auto-correct got the better of me.


I wanna know what platform your on, 'cause Windows 7 keeps telling me 'instructionalized' isn't even a real word.

It isn't a real word. Instructed and instructional are,of course,but "instructionalized" isn't.

/On the iPhone 4S,BTW
//Auto-correct seems to do more harm than good.


That was my point, I was curious what OS was making up words. :)


But I digress, we should be making fun of the overweight old guy who doesn't have access to Paris Hilton internet pr0n or pizza delivery.


Quite true. On with the verbal savagery!
 
2012-07-08 03:10:56 AM  

Rufus Lee King: Given the opportunity, I would "do" Paris Hilton.

The rest of you wouldn't, eh?


I would not do her with your dick. I have had enough biatchy high maintenance woman to last me a lifetime.
 
2012-07-08 03:17:28 AM  
No, no, no, they got it ALL WRONG. He actually wanted to marry THE Paris Hilton.
www.planetcalypsoforum.com

And can you blame him? Just look at sexy, uninteresting architecture that looks like every other hotel everywhere... I need a cold shower just thinking about it.
 
2012-07-08 03:19:57 AM  

Gawdzila: Apos: /On the iPhone 4S,BTW
//Auto-correct seems to do more harm than good.

Damn you autocorrect!
[www.leehopkins.net image 320x271]


LoL, : )
 
2012-07-08 03:26:32 AM  
socialneuroscience.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-07-08 03:29:55 AM  

ArcadianRefugee: [socialneuroscience.files.wordpress.com image 300x425]


This commercial was "hot." I bet she never ate a $6.00 burger. I loved those things, but they were getting me fat.
 
2012-07-08 03:36:57 AM  

Rufus Lee King: tzzhc4: I would not do her with your dick.

B'wana Dik?


Juwanna Mann?

content8.flixster.com
 
2012-07-08 03:42:59 AM  

batcookie: No, no, no, they got it ALL WRONG. He actually wanted to marry THE Paris Hilton.
[www.planetcalypsoforum.com image 580x388]

And can you blame him? Just look at sexy, uninteresting architecture that looks like every other hotel everywhere... I need a cold shower just thinking about it.


Wow, knowing they let that be built next to the Eiffel tower just proves everything I've ever heard about what the French really think of it.
 
2012-07-08 03:43:23 AM  

Rufus Lee King: Given the opportunity, I would "do" Paris Hilton.

The rest of you wouldn't, eh?



Not even with one of these:
cdn.epicski.com
 
2012-07-08 04:12:57 AM  
Just think of the huge feet!
 
2012-07-08 04:27:04 AM  

Rufus Lee King: Given the opportunity, I would "do" Paris Hilton.

The rest of you wouldn't, eh?

[upload.wikimedia.org image 220x222]


If I didn't know anything about her, I most assuredly would. I can't forget what I know, though.
 
2012-07-08 04:50:02 AM  

Gawdzila: Apos: /On the iPhone 4S,BTW
//Auto-correct seems to do more harm than good.

Damn you autocorrect!
[www.leehopkins.net image 320x271]


farm8.staticflickr.com
 
2012-07-08 05:09:42 AM  

tzzhc4: Rufus Lee King: tzzhc4: I would not do her with your dick.

B'wana Dik?

Juwanna Mann?

[content8.flixster.com image 461x369]


B'wana Beast?

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-07-08 05:14:13 AM  

t3knomanser: [encrypted-tbn0.google.com image 176x176]

He was trying for the insanity defense. It's harder after Bea Arthur died...


Awesome dude. Not sure how you came up with that one so quick. You been saving it for the right Fark story? It's OK, I won't think any less of you if you have... ;-)
 
2012-07-08 05:19:46 AM  

Mikey1969: t3knomanser: [encrypted-tbn0.google.com image 176x176]

He was trying for the insanity defense. It's harder after Bea Arthur died...

Awesome dude. Not sure how you came up with that one so quick. You been saving it for the right Fark story? It's OK, I won't think any less of you if you have... ;-)


I'm guessing you didn't watch Airheads.
 
2012-07-08 05:37:17 AM  

malaktaus: Relatively Obscure: Authorities say he's had several run-ins with SWAT Teams in other states.

[alltheragefaces.com image 300x226]

My apartment was once raided by a SWAT team. There was also an ATF agent present. This happened in New Hampshire of all places, and no successful charges were ever brought against anyone. Long story.


We have time...go ahead.
 
2012-07-08 05:53:22 AM  

Rufus Lee King: Given the opportunity, I would "do" Paris Hilton.

The rest of you wouldn't, eh?

[upload.wikimedia.org image 220x222]



In a minute. Literally and figuratively. She's gorgeous and sexy.
 
2012-07-08 05:55:29 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Mikey1969: t3knomanser: [encrypted-tbn0.google.com image 176x176]

He was trying for the insanity defense. It's harder after Bea Arthur died...

Awesome dude. Not sure how you came up with that one so quick. You been saving it for the right Fark story? It's OK, I won't think any less of you if you have... ;-)

I'm guessing you didn't watch Airheads.


Yeah I did, and that was why I was wondering if the OP has been waiting to use the farking Airheads reference for years. Jesus, I know subtlety doesn't translate well onto message boards, but I thought it was kind of obvious.
 
2012-07-08 06:08:00 AM  

Rufus Lee King: Given the opportunity, I would "do" Paris Hilton.

The rest of you wouldn't, eh?

[upload.wikimedia.org image 220x222]


Yeah, maybe. As long as she signed an agreement to get my dick 'cleansed' of any little friends she left behind... Seriously though, she's too farking bony for me. I don't want my women to disappear when they are in profile. She doesn't have to be a BBW or anything, but I'd like to know that she was still there with some other indicator than her yappy dog.
 
2012-07-08 06:19:48 AM  

Rufus Lee King: Given the opportunity, I would "do" Paris Hilton.

The rest of you wouldn't, eh?

[upload.wikimedia.org image 220x222]


In the fantasy world of the "To Hit, or Not To Hit" game where we actually have access to any vagina we want and don't have to worry about STDs then yeah, definitely. She's a nice looking girl.


tzzhc4: I have had enough biatchy high maintenance woman to last me a lifetime.


Why is this even a factor? This is a "what if" game, nobody is saying you have to date her.
Of course she is a worthless airhead of a person and I couldn't stand her company for more than 30 seconds in real life.
But I think when people say "I'd hit it", it is usually a purely physical evaluation.
 
2012-07-08 06:25:35 AM  

Rufus Lee King: Mikey1969: Rufus Lee King: Given the opportunity, I would "do" Paris Hilton.

The rest of you wouldn't, eh?

[upload.wikimedia.org image 220x222]

Yeah, maybe. As long as she signed an agreement to get my dick 'cleansed' of any little friends she left behind... Seriously though, she's too farking bony for me. I don't want my women to disappear when they are in profile. She doesn't have to be a BBW or anything, but I'd like to know that she was still there with some other indicator than her yappy dog.

Look, Mikey, I know that homosexuality is all the rage these days, but let's be real for a moment. Dig it.

[www.swankycelebs.com image 468x316]


I am being real. Even in high school, I had SOME standards. I couldn't stand to be with a stupid woman, a vapid, self centered woman, a total twit, whatever. It wasn't worth it. It's like paying for sex, I can get it often enough that I can have some kind of standards. Sure, it would have been nice to have it MORE often back when I was single, but I never had to be afraid to admit who I had sex with because they were stupid or biatchy...
 
2012-07-08 06:26:54 AM  
What's with all the hate on Paris Hilton? Somehow, I think the closest many of you farkers have come to bringing a girl home from the bar was when you picked up Perez Hilton.

Paris? I'd take her home, hit it in whatever position she passed out in, and steal Nicki's number from her phone.
 
2012-07-08 06:29:33 AM  
So instead of getting Paris Hilton and a pizza, he got pepper sprayed and taken to jail. I'd consider that an upgrade.
 
2012-07-08 06:32:42 AM  
What, did the cops tell him that anything he said would be held against him?
 
2012-07-08 06:47:59 AM  

Shenanigans!: So instead of getting Paris Hilton and a pizza, he got pepper sprayed and taken to jail. I'd consider that an upgrade.


I dunno, I rather like pizza.
 
2012-07-08 07:09:20 AM  
He wanted to marry Perez Hilton
 
2012-07-08 07:17:53 AM  
"He was taken to the hospital for a mental evaluation."

Because he wanted to MARRY Paris Hilton and not just BONE her like all you crazy Farkers!
 
2012-07-08 07:28:06 AM  

Gyrfalcon: For his sentence...make him MARRY Paris Hilton.


We have laws here about cruel and unusual punishment...
 
2012-07-08 07:28:18 AM  

meanders: "He was taken to the hospital for a mental evaluation."

Because he wanted to MARRY Paris Hilton and not just BONE her like all you crazy Farkers!


The way I see it... If I'm already farking her, I may as well marry her to get a cut of her $1.4 billion line of fragrances. The respect of my friends and family is way overrated anyway.
 
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