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		I'm stuck in the lake. I'm so very scared. Help (dailymail.co.uk)		116
		More: Scary, family jewels, exsanguination, Illinois Department of Natural Resources, blood loss, Michigan Department of Natural Resources, aquatic plants

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19736 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jul 2012 at 11:56 PM | Favorite | share:

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PvtHike		2012-07-07 07:20:18 PM

Nuts.

Peepeye		2012-07-07 07:56:55 PM

Now that is disturbing. How many times did the article mention testicles being bitten off....geez. Yeah, I know, it's the Daily Fail.

some_beer_drinker		2012-07-07 07:58:56 PM

wtf?!?!

don't go in the farking water! look at the big scary teeth!

Sid_6.7		2012-07-07 09:22:03 PM

Lake superintendent Jim Cadwell reminded everyone that the pacu is primarily a vegetarian fish

Yet look where he's keeping his hands in the photo.

doglover		2012-07-07 09:30:41 PM

Their main diet is nuts

BWA HA HA

Lsherm		2012-07-07 09:46:54 PM

Peepeye: Now that is disturbing. How many times did the article mention testicles being bitten off....geez. Yeah, I know, it's the Daily Fail.

The pacu fish, WHICH CAN BITE YOUR TESTICLES OFF, is native to New Guinea. It was dumped in the lake illegally, WHERE IT CAN BITE YOUR TESTICLES OFF, probably by a collector. When asked about the fish, WHICH CAN BITE YOUR TESTICLES OFF, local swimmers said "nuts to that!" because the pacu fish CAN BITE YOUR TESTICLES OFF!

minoridiot		2012-07-07 09:49:09 PM

Didn't the River Monsters guy do a story on this some time back.

Sim Tree		2012-07-07 09:58:35 PM

Lsherm: Peepeye: Now that is disturbing. How many times did the article mention testicles being bitten off....geez. Yeah, I know, it's the Daily Fail.

The pacu fish, WHICH CAN BITE YOUR TESTICLES OFF, is native to New Guinea. It was dumped in the lake illegally, WHERE IT CAN BITE YOUR TESTICLES OFF, probably by a collector. When asked about the fish, WHICH CAN BITE YOUR TESTICLES OFF, local swimmers said "nuts to that!" because the pacu fish CAN BITE YOUR TESTICLES OFF!

They thought it was important to get this point across.

MaudlinMutantMollusk		2012-07-07 10:13:41 PM

♫ Fish heads, fish heads, grab you by the nuts heads...♫

Peepeye		2012-07-07 10:14:13 PM

Sim Tree: Lsherm: Peepeye: Now that is disturbing. How many times did the article mention testicles being bitten off....geez. Yeah, I know, it's the Daily Fail.

The pacu fish, WHICH CAN BITE YOUR TESTICLES OFF, is native to New Guinea. It was dumped in the lake illegally, WHERE IT CAN BITE YOUR TESTICLES OFF, probably by a collector. When asked about the fish, WHICH CAN BITE YOUR TESTICLES OFF, local swimmers said "nuts to that!" because the pacu fish CAN BITE YOUR TESTICLES OFF!

They thought it was important to get this point across.

I keep thinking of the Piranha 3D movie.

PC LOAD LETTER		2012-07-07 11:04:07 PM

I am pretty sure that they fish naked in its native land. I doubt a clothed fisherman has anything to worry about.

PvtHike		2012-07-07 11:13:57 PM

PC LOAD LETTER: I am pretty sure that they fish naked in its native land. I doubt a clothed fisherman has anything to worry about.

Okay, you go in first.

Paris1127		2012-07-07 11:26:53 PM

For the record, Pacu are not native to Papua New Guinea. They are in fact natives of South America.

Also, I can't decide whether being attacked by a Pacu or a Candiru would be worse...

BumpInTheNight		2012-07-08 12:00:23 AM

Remember that thread a few days ago about broken penises? What's the bets this was submitted by the same bastard?

Mega Steve		2012-07-08 12:00:41 AM

Paris1127: For the record, Pacu are not native to Papua New Guinea. They are in fact natives of South America.

Also, I can't decide whether being attacked by a Pacu or a Candiru would be worse...

I'm gonna go with the Candiru. That thing is living proof that God exists, and he's a sick, twisted bastard.

Crazymuthafarker		2012-07-08 12:02:14 AM

Introduce some honey badgers to eat the fish. That'll totally work.

PvtHike		2012-07-08 12:03:19 AM

Paris1127: For the record, Pacu are not native to Papua New Guinea. They are in fact natives of South America.

Also, I can't decide whether being attacked by a Pacu or a Candiru would be worse...

I could've lived a happy life never hearing mention of that particular fish again.

caution		2012-07-08 12:05:06 AM

With a helpful image of what one should look like while in this lake:
i.dailymail.co.uk

skinink		2012-07-08 12:05:15 AM

"Although part of the same family, the pacu has thicker, sturdier teeth that resemble human ones, unlike the piranha, which is renowned for its deadly serrated incisors."

Do the fish teeth look anything like these?

i.dailymail.co.uk

DeathByGeekSquad		2012-07-08 12:05:20 AM

I love how they were quoting River Monsters as if it were an actual interview they conducted.

LordJiro		2012-07-08 12:06:09 AM

minoridiot: Didn't the River Monsters guy do a story on this some time back.

Yeah. And he interviewed one of the guys who supposedly died from the attack. So obviously, at least one of the 'deaths' was B.S.

Damili		2012-07-08 12:06:12 AM

I had a pacu in a fish tank. It got up to about 18 inches long. That thing did NOT have teeth.

fusillade762		2012-07-08 12:06:22 AM

Apparently Teddy Roosevelt thought they were delicious.

Theodore Roosevelt wrote of catching and eating pacu in his book Through the Brazilian Wilderness.[42][43] He described them as "good-sized, deep-bodied fish," and noted, "They were delicious eating."

Though the wiki entry on them doesn't mention a particular penchant for munching on ballsacks.

However, there is some question of whether the fish are a good choice for the typical hobbyist. While they are not aggressive carnivores like the piranha, their crushing jaw system, used primarily for eating seeds and nuts, can be hazardous. One toddler needed surgery after a pacu (misreported as a piranha) bit her finger at Edinburgh Butterfly and Insect World in Scotland. Commenting on the incident, Deep Sea World zoological manager Matthew Kane warned "Pacus will eat anything, even children's wiggling fingers."[5] Another such incident occurred when a 60 cm (24-inch) Pacu (named Pacu) jumped out of his tank in Fort Worth, TX and bit the nose of his owner, which was later re-attached sans left nostril.

I'm gonna go with typical Daily Fail scaremongering.

fat boy		2012-07-08 12:08:53 AM

Pacu ate my balls

LordJiro		2012-07-08 12:09:29 AM

fusillade762: Apparently Teddy Roosevelt thought they were delicious.

Theodore Roosevelt wrote of catching and eating pacu in his book Through the Brazilian Wilderness.[42][43] He described them as "good-sized, deep-bodied fish," and noted, "They were delicious eating."

Though the wiki entry on them doesn't mention a particular penchant for munching on ballsacks.

However, there is some question of whether the fish are a good choice for the typical hobbyist. While they are not aggressive carnivores like the piranha, their crushing jaw system, used primarily for eating seeds and nuts, can be hazardous. One toddler needed surgery after a pacu (misreported as a piranha) bit her finger at Edinburgh Butterfly and Insect World in Scotland. Commenting on the incident, Deep Sea World zoological manager Matthew Kane warned "Pacus will eat anything, even children's wiggling fingers."[5] Another such incident occurred when a 60 cm (24-inch) Pacu (named Pacu) jumped out of his tank in Fort Worth, TX and bit the nose of his owner, which was later re-attached sans left nostril.

I'm gonna go with typical Daily Fail scaremongering.

In Papua New Guinea, where they aren't native and there's less of their 'normal' food (because they ate it all), they pretty much attack anything that attracts their attention. Baby crocodiles, waterbirds, people...Basically, if it splashes, they'll at least consider taking a bite.

Sad thing is, they were introduced DELIBERATELY to at least one river system.. And the ecosystem has just gone to shiat. Yay, humans!

Mr. Potatoass		2012-07-08 12:10:02 AM

Challenge accepted

StopLurkListen		2012-07-08 12:10:16 AM

Um. Through the bathing suit, even?

Well now!

MAYORBOB		2012-07-08 12:10:40 AM

This is karma for all those sick twists who rave about mountain oysters.

Mega Steve		2012-07-08 12:15:10 AM

Mr. Potatoass: [api.ning.com image 640x374]

Challenge accepted

Well...he does have plenty to spare

Slu		2012-07-08 12:19:10 AM

Mr. Potatoass: Challenge accepted

If I didn't already have you favorited because of your Davey Johnson retarded beef jerkey comment, this would have done it as well.

jtown		2012-07-08 12:19:15 AM

adeist69		2012-07-08 12:19:46 AM

I wonder if this is how Ballchinians developed?

Superjew		2012-07-08 12:21:28 AM

Yeah, fark that thing.

Ghastly		2012-07-08 12:21:59 AM

Used to be a pet store here in Hamilton on Main and Sanford that had a Pacu fish as their mascot. He was huge! And 20 years old. And his name was Dave. And he ate cucumbers and carrots.

OOBE Juan Kenobi		2012-07-08 12:27:09 AM

These Brit tabloid stories are all fake.

Gobobo		2012-07-08 12:29:17 AM

Mr. Potatoass: [api.ning.com image 640x374]

Challenge accepted

static.gigwise.com

Ral		2012-07-08 12:29:49 AM

Pacus do not attack people. They are benign fish that eat vegetation. It's not too uncommon for them to turn up in pet stores as "piranha" because of the close resemblance. Although they are taxonomically related to piranha, they are not dangerous.

BizarroHulk		2012-07-08 12:30:11 AM

I hate you subby.

whatshisname		2012-07-08 12:30:36 AM

Their main diet is nuts...

You don`t say

illannoyin		2012-07-08 12:32:01 AM

Forget Mille lacs this is more like Mille Sacs am I right guys?

Guys?

/Nevermind

TofuTheAlmighty		2012-07-08 12:35:00 AM

Despite causing some worry in Illinois, most visitors to Lake Lou Yaeger were nonplussed.

'We have been in shark infested waters and till I see it with my own eyes it ain't going to bother me,' said lake-goer Keith Nessl.

Nonplussed is not a synonym for ambivalent. Daily Fail, indeed.

Herr Flick's Revenge		2012-07-08 12:35:46 AM

Damili: I had a pacu in a fish tank. It got up to about 18 inches long. That thing did NOT have teeth.

So he just gummed em off?

LordJiro		2012-07-08 12:38:22 AM

Ral: Pacus do not attack people. They are benign fish that eat vegetation. It's not too uncommon for them to turn up in pet stores as "piranha" because of the close resemblance. Although they are taxonomically related to piranha, they are not dangerous.

In certain conditions, there have been documented attacks on people. Not, as far as I know, in their native range, however.

Begoggle		2012-07-08 12:42:04 AM

Since this is the Daily Mail, I assume everything is exaggerated and/or fake.

i_got_no_strings		2012-07-08 12:42:21 AM

Despite causing some worry in Illinois, most visitors to Lake Lou Yaeger were nonplussed.
'We have been in shark infested waters and till I see it with my own eyes it ain't going to bother me,' said lake-goer Keith Nessl.

Nonplussed and nonchalant are opposites, not synonyms! If someone is freaked out by the fish, they are nonplussed. If they don't care, they are nonchalant. If they can't write worth a damn and don't know what words mean, they write for the Daily Mail. Perhaps they were distracted by the bet they had going to see how many times they could mention testicles in one article.

Jixa		2012-07-08 12:45:50 AM

I smell a hoax fanned by knee-jerk reporters that don't do research before reporting an uncorroborated story.

/that could be the booze talking, tho.

Sid_6.7		2012-07-08 12:46:50 AM

Begoggle: Since this is the Daily Mail, I assume everything is exaggerated and/or fake.

It's like this:

"Is it good for Tories? Print it!"

"It is good for Whigs? Pretend we never got it!"

/the Tories managed to somehow be against both liberalism and Cromwell's suppression of the Irish at the same time, which is impressive
//only good Republican is an Irish Republican

dsergison		2012-07-08 12:48:14 AM

dynamite or serious voltage the only answer.

/hard to kill fish with fire

anfrind		2012-07-08 12:51:38 AM

TofuTheAlmighty: Despite causing some worry in Illinois, most visitors to Lake Lou Yaeger were nonplussed.

'We have been in shark infested waters and till I see it with my own eyes it ain't going to bother me,' said lake-goer Keith Nessl.

Nonplussed is not a synonym for ambivalent. Daily Fail, indeed.

Perhaps, in keeping with their political slant, they should have gone with "doublenonplussedungood".