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(Aiken Standard)   Not news: Rob two gas stations. Slightly news: Flee in a distinctive vehicle. Fark: Smash though a barricade into a site that processes weapons-grade plutonium   (aikenstandard.com) divider line 53
    More: Dumbass, weapons-grade plutonium, SRS, PT Cruiser, Department of Public Safety, South Carolina Gamecocks, Jackson Police Department, robbery  
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5576 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jul 2012 at 8:36 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-07 08:38:31 PM
Marty?
 
2012-07-07 08:39:13 PM

JohnAnnArbor: Marty?


*shakes fist*
 
2012-07-07 08:39:19 PM

"The first robbery occurred at around 2:45 a.m. at the Kangaroo Express, located at 702 Silver Bluff Road. An hour later, a second armed robbery was reported at the Kangaroo Express at 3540 Richland Avenue West."


They will most likely be tried in a kangaroo court.

 
2012-07-07 08:43:44 PM
Dad?
 
2012-07-07 08:44:24 PM
Mom?
 
2012-07-07 08:44:42 PM

skinink: "The first robbery occurred at around 2:45 a.m. at the Kangaroo Express, located at 702 Silver Bluff Road. An hour later, a second armed robbery was reported at the Kangaroo Express at 3540 Richland Avenue West."
They will most likely be tried in a kangaroo court.


They thought this job was in the pocket, but now they're hopping mad they got caught.
 
2012-07-07 08:45:01 PM
A Marvel character is born.
 
2012-07-07 08:45:21 PM
They're lucky they aren't dead. The DOE site guards don't mess around once you've crashed the gate, and for good reason.
 
2012-07-07 08:47:12 PM

Assimilate This: skinink: "The first robbery occurred at around 2:45 a.m. at the Kangaroo Express, located at 702 Silver Bluff Road. An hour later, a second armed robbery was reported at the Kangaroo Express at 3540 Richland Avenue West."
They will most likely be tried in a kangaroo court.

They thought this job was in the pocket, but now they're hopping mad they got caught.


Can't afford a lawyer, have to go with their smartest friend: Owl on the job. Unless Pooh can rob a 7-11 to come up with the hmoney.
 
2012-07-07 08:52:13 PM
Generally speaking, when you're trying to make a run for it, you head in the direction away from the people with the guns. You don't trade up from the guys with tasers and 9mm's to the guys who probably have full auto assualt rifles at a minimum.
 
2012-07-07 08:57:20 PM
I missed the part in the article where they mention weapons grade plutonium processing.

Is that the "The suspects continued into Jackson, where the PT Cruiser then crashed into a Savannah River Site barricade" part???

they're a little obtuse about what they do on their website: Link
 
2012-07-07 09:00:20 PM

Karac: Generally speaking, when you're trying to make a run for it, you head in the direction away from the people with the guns. You don't trade up from the guys with tasers and 9mm's to the guys who probably have full auto assualt rifles at a minimum.


THIS. I worked in Oak Ridge, TN, and after getting off from work the first night, I accidentally turned down the wrong road. I came face to face with a big many with a very big gun guarding the gate to Y-12. I made my apologies and quickly got my ass out of there.
 
2012-07-07 09:00:33 PM
What weapons-grade plutonium processing center,subby?
 
2012-07-07 09:00:43 PM
These two should each have been given a pellet sized lump of plutonium and released. They would have snuffed it within a day or two thus sparing the taxpayers the expense of a trial.
 
2012-07-07 09:01:39 PM
Really?

Maybe when he tried to run away, he shouldn't have ran into the one area where Civilian Police have armed gunships on standby.

/DOE Police will fark you up.
 
2012-07-07 09:07:03 PM
They stick the Pu pits in the W-88s down the street from me, no visible security. Neighbor lady was an accountant there, I'll have to ask her what the security structure was like.
 
2012-07-07 09:09:55 PM
didn't they do that in Robocop?
 
2012-07-07 09:10:00 PM
i258.photobucket.com">
 
2012-07-07 09:34:50 PM
...We really do need a 'South Carolina' tag....
 
2012-07-07 09:39:15 PM

Apos: What weapons-grade plutonium processing center,subby?


Shhhhhh
 
2012-07-07 09:43:42 PM
Brandon Marsalis Wilson? BWAHAHAHAHA!

I too want to be named (almost) after Jay Leno's former bandleader.
 
2012-07-07 09:47:07 PM

destrip: Brandon Marsalis Wilson? BWAHAHAHAHA!

I too want to be named (almost) after Jay Leno's former bandleader.


Brandon Marsalis Wilson, 18 (born ~ 1994). Probably just misspelled.
www.morethings.com
 
2012-07-07 09:53:46 PM

Apos: What weapons-grade plutonium processing center,subby?


This one:

The Savannah River Site was constructed during the early 1950s to produce the basic materials used in the fabrication of nuclear weapons, primarily tritium and plutonium-239, in support of our nation's defense programs. Five reactors were built to produce these materials. Also built were a number of support facilities including two chemical seperations plants, a heavy water extraction plant, a nuclear fuel and target fabrication facility, a tritium extraction facility and waste management facilities.

I know it's difficult on a Saturday evening to click on several links within the site, what with the advancing drunkenness, but it only took me two clicks.
 
2012-07-07 09:56:39 PM

Gyrfalcon: Apos: What weapons-grade plutonium processing center,subby?

This one:

The Savannah River Site was constructed during the early 1950s to produce the basic materials used in the fabrication of nuclear weapons, primarily tritium and plutonium-239, in support of our nation's defense programs. Five reactors were built to produce these materials. Also built were a number of support facilities including two chemical seperations plants, a heavy water extraction plant, a nuclear fuel and target fabrication facility, a tritium extraction facility and waste management facilities.

I know it's difficult on a Saturday evening to click on several links within the site, what with the advancing drunkenness, but it only took me two clicks.


Thank you for being considerate of my indolence.
 
2012-07-07 09:57:54 PM
I must say that this happened near me. Live right off Hitchcock Pkwy. Yea! Aiken. Interesting city with a large horse oriented economy. Many northern retirees, educated engineers from the Site mentioned, vibrant community arts combined with a lot of the types in TFA.
 
2012-07-07 09:58:25 PM

AtlanticCoast63: ...We really do need a 'South Carolina' tag....


With Stephen Colbert as the backdrop.
 
2012-07-07 10:00:00 PM

lazymojo: I missed the part in the article where they mention weapons grade plutonium processing.

Is that the "The suspects continued into Jackson, where the PT Cruiser then crashed into a Savannah River Site barricade" part???

they're a little obtuse about what they do on their website: Link



It's true that it's pretty blandly ambiguous on that page, but if you click on "SRS History" on the left nav. bar, they get more specific.

/most "Mission Statement" pages on the Internet could be deleted with little of worth being lost
//heck, most could be substituted for each other and no one would even notice
 
2012-07-07 10:01:36 PM

Apos: Gyrfalcon: Apos: What weapons-grade plutonium processing center,subby?

This one:

The Savannah River Site was constructed during the early 1950s to produce the basic materials used in the fabrication of nuclear weapons, primarily tritium and plutonium-239, in support of our nation's defense programs. Five reactors were built to produce these materials. Also built were a number of support facilities including two chemical seperations plants, a heavy water extraction plant, a nuclear fuel and target fabrication facility, a tritium extraction facility and waste management facilities.

I know it's difficult on a Saturday evening to click on several links within the site, what with the advancing drunkenness, but it only took me two clicks.

Thank you for being considerate of my indolence.


Ah, it's what I live for. :)

Now go back to drink.
 
2012-07-07 10:02:05 PM
It's the Lybians!
 
2012-07-07 10:20:13 PM
We really need more weapons-grade plutonium? Why is that place still operational?
 
2012-07-07 10:27:07 PM

Begoggle: It's the Lybians!


I think you got the "y" in the wrong spot there, pal.
 
2012-07-07 10:27:26 PM

BeSerious: We really need more weapons-grade plutonium? Why is that place still operational?


The major construction ongoing at the site right now is a facility to turn already existing weapons-grade plutonium into reactor fuel (the MOX project).
 
2012-07-07 10:28:22 PM

1000Airplanes: I must say that this happened near me. Live right off Hitchcock Pkwy.


Neighbor?
 
2012-07-07 10:29:47 PM

Worldwalker: BeSerious: We really need more weapons-grade plutonium? Why is that place still operational?

The major construction ongoing at the site right now is a facility to turn already existing weapons-grade plutonium into reactor fuel (the MOX project).


i258.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-07 10:34:55 PM

buzzcut73: They're lucky they aren't dead. The DOE site guards don't mess around once you've crashed the gate, and for good reason.


I think he didn't make it through the gate. It's probably the only reason he's still alive.
 
2012-07-07 10:49:41 PM

Worldwalker: 1000Airplanes: I must say that this happened near me. Live right off Hitchcock Pkwy.

Neighbor?


Houndslake
 
2012-07-07 10:54:27 PM

BeSerious: We really need more weapons-grade plutonium? Why is that place still operational?


They also produce all of the nation's Tritium, which is a critical booster used in nuclear weapons. Since it has a half life of 12.32 years, it needs replaced from time to time to keep the weapons working properly. The cold war may be over, but we still have nukes, and they still need routine maintenance.
 
2012-07-08 12:27:56 AM

buzzcut73: They're lucky they aren't dead. The DOE site guards don't mess around once you've crashed the gate, and for good reason.


No kidding. I did some work at Hanford, Washington, and the Hanford Patrol were armed with Ingram MAC-10s and had their senses of humor surgically removed.

/Site orientation briefing included a warning not to wander around the desert on the reservation due to "things being poured on it"
 
2012-07-08 01:23:11 AM
Wasn't it at Hanford where the mud dauber wasps were finding radioactive mud and making correspondingly radioactive nests?

1000Airplanes: Worldwalker: 1000Airplanes: I must say that this happened near me. Live right off Hitchcock Pkwy.

Neighbor?

Houndslake


Yep, neighbor. We ought to meet up.
 
2012-07-08 01:54:14 AM
Karac:

Generally speaking, when you're trying to make a run for it, you head in the direction away from the people with the guns. You don't trade up from the guys with tasers and 9mm's to the guys who probably have full auto assualt rifles at a minimum.

Yep. Security at DOE sites is handled by extremely polite ex-military sorts contracted through EG&G or Wackenhut who carry full automatic rifles and travel in pairs. SRNL is an even dumber place to flee because the road in goes through swamp almost all the way to the main gate.

/ spent a few months at DOE sites including SRNL
// the running joke at all of them was "don't drink the coffee."
 
2012-07-08 01:57:38 AM

Posh Naranek: A Marvel character is born.


Pretty sure "The Joker" is DC, actually.
 
2012-07-08 02:59:48 AM
Yay my home town is on Fark!
My mom works for the security force at that plant.
/probably issued the guys at that gate their weapons that night.
 
2012-07-08 05:08:26 AM

lazymojo: they're a little obtuse about what they do on their website: Link


They do a lot of stuff.

The best part is the tritium recycling facility.
 
2012-07-08 06:28:35 AM

Worldwalker: Wasn't it at Hanford where the mud dauber wasps were finding radioactive mud and making correspondingly radioactive nests?

1000Airplanes: Worldwalker: 1000Airplanes: I must say that this happened near me. Live right off Hitchcock Pkwy.

Neighbor?

Houndslake

Yep, neighbor. We ought to meet up.


RADIOACTIVE WASPS?!?!

Don't these guys watch SyFy Channel?
 
2012-07-08 07:00:08 AM
the Sheriff's Office pursued the car as the drivers allegedly fled south on Silver Bluff Road to S.C. Highway 125.

Sheriff don't like it
Robbing the gas bar
Robbing the gas bar
 
2012-07-08 08:10:49 AM
Well to be fair, their options for getaway paths were limited to nuclear sites and horse farms. I mean, how do you hide on a horse farm?
 
2012-07-08 08:24:40 AM

mike_d85: Well to be fair, their options for getaway paths were limited to nuclear sites and horse farms. I mean, how do you hide on a horse farm?


You stall for a bit (and try not to stirrup any mare trouble in the manetime) while you cobble together a plan to lose your tails.
 
2012-07-08 09:10:16 AM
An update with a little bit of further information on the idiots:

http://www.aikenstandard.com/story/0708-robbery-arrest--4117952


$50k damage to the gate?
 
2012-07-08 10:17:15 AM
There was a case similar to this where a couple of criminal masterminds tried driving into a DOE uranium enrichment facility in their van with a meth lab in it because the local police was following them just a few years ago.

They got busted and are facing some serious time in PMITA prison for having both drugs and weapons on a federal property.
 
2012-07-08 10:22:26 AM
From my experience as a nuke worker, the security at nuclear facilities is mostly ex-special forces guys, so that guy was probably in a whole world of hurt before being turned over to law enforcement. Trespassers on nuclear sites are never escorted off site politely.

/'off site' usually means 'to the FBI for questioning'
 
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