Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Komo)   Bus driver says caffeine made him grope girls. Lawyer to use the famed "Coffee, tea or me?" defense   (komonews.com) divider line 49
    More: Followup, gropes  
•       •       •

3699 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jul 2012 at 9:44 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-07-07 08:28:05 AM  
nice try asshat. thats the thing fatass, you're 51, you got this bald head / goat thing going on, and you're a freaking bus driver in lewis county. Not a rockstar. No rockstar, no high school girls for you. Stop trying to look like a bodyguard for blink 182, it's not working.

//you wanted to say it was the cocaine, but you can't afford to.
 
2012-07-07 08:44:44 AM  
He should have blamed Twinkies.
 
2012-07-07 09:01:56 AM  

ms_lara_croft: He should have blamed Twinkies.


That only works if you are an ex-cop murdering the mayors
 
2012-07-07 09:03:02 AM  
mayor and supervisor.

// itchy trigger finger
 
2012-07-07 09:28:39 AM  
Believe me, if caffeine made you want to grope girls, I'd be one grope-y motherfarker right about now.

About all caffeine makes me do, however, is survive the first few hours of work after I slept entirely too little the night before.
 
2012-07-07 09:51:45 AM  
You mean caffeine doesn't make you invisible?
 
2012-07-07 09:56:45 AM  
That does it...I'm going to set up a groping bar.
 
2012-07-07 10:01:15 AM  
With the amount of coffee I drink, I should've been using this for years!
 
2012-07-07 10:01:34 AM  
I've had a lot of caffeine in my life and it's never made me want to sexually assault anyone.
 
2012-07-07 10:05:18 AM  
when i went to jail, they asked me if I was coming off anything. i wanted to say caffeine since i had only a cup that morning. but i said nothing. first lie i told IN MY LIFE!
 
2012-07-07 10:05:26 AM  
I am watching the progress of this case very, very carefully.
 
2012-07-07 10:08:58 AM  
SO DRINK DECAFFINATED, YOU PERVERTED PEDO TWAT!!!
 
2012-07-07 10:15:57 AM  

BitwiseShift: You mean caffeine doesn't make you invisible?


Oh no, it definitely does. But it doesn't make your clothes invisible, so you have to walk around naked for it to work. Good luck. :)
 
2012-07-07 10:18:15 AM  
BS he wanted a sqeeze and got pinched.
 
2012-07-07 10:19:08 AM  
If he actually had never done anything like this before, it is a very odd burst of behaviors. You don't just wake up at 51 and say, "This is the day I begin slapping ass and grabbing boob."
 
2012-07-07 10:19:44 AM  
chacecharmz.files.wordpress.com

This thread needs more cougar cleavage.
 
2012-07-07 10:19:52 AM  
www.aolcdn.com

Twas the devil that made him do it - not the caffeine.
 
2012-07-07 10:20:08 AM  

shivashakti: I've had a lot of caffeine in my life and it's never made me want to sexually assault anyone.


ya, i agree. it's not the caffeine, its the sweet, sweet, titties, and tight asses.
 
2012-07-07 10:24:28 AM  

some_beer_drinker: ya, i agree. it's not the caffeine, its the sweet, sweet, titties, and tight asses.


Oh, cool. So you're OK if a gay guy grabs your ass or package then, right?
 
2012-07-07 10:26:55 AM  
You know, if it was just that one day and not a pattern of behavior, there may be something to that defense. Not necessarily caffeine, but some other adverse reaction to a drug, or something else, that caused his inhibitions to evaporate.
 
2012-07-07 10:28:17 AM  

jake_lex: Believe me, if caffeine made you want to grope girls, I'd be one grope-y motherfarker right about now.


Yah. This excuse might work if 9 out of 10 of us didn't consume caffeine regularly. Hell, I think 7 out of 10 of us would get a headache without our obligatory morning coffee.

What a dumbass.
 
2012-07-07 10:29:45 AM  
FTA:

"According to the Lewis County sheriff's office, Sands was at the game as a spectator and was not the bus driver. During the game, he allegedly touched a 46-year-old woman's breasts three different times and later grabbed her butt as she was trying to get away from him.

After the game, he grabbed a 15-year-old girl's butt outside of the bus and slapped a 16-year-old girl's butt as she was getting onto the bus, according to the sheriff's office.

Once on the bus, Sands allegedly touched another player in an inappropriate manner before the bus driver kicked him out his butt off the bus, according to the sheriff's office."


Sorry, I just had to butt in here.
 
2012-07-07 10:30:05 AM  
kill him
 
2012-07-07 10:31:59 AM  

jake_lex: Believe me, if caffeine made you want to grope girls, I'd be one grope-y motherfarker right about now.

About all caffeine makes me do, however, is survive the first few hours of work after I slept entirely too little the night before.


I would have posted this, but I was too busy making coffee.
 
2012-07-07 10:37:56 AM  
Too Much Coffee Man.
 
2012-07-07 10:41:09 AM  

MAYORBOB: Sorry, I just had to butt in here.


I'm not sure what journalistic standards and all that say, not being a journalist, but as surprised as I was to see the word "butt" in an article, I was relieved they didn't use one of the many stupider euphemisms out there.

/He writes like people talk!!
 
2012-07-07 10:42:35 AM  
3xupdate.com

...yeah.. i've watched it too... :/
 
2012-07-07 10:50:41 AM  
i45.tinypic.com
 
2012-07-07 10:55:30 AM  

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: [i45.tinypic.com image 399x600]


Dat Caff?
 
2012-07-07 11:02:31 AM  
She was all out of Pan Am coffee, but had plenty of TWA tea?
 
2012-07-07 11:10:00 AM  

shivashakti: some_beer_drinker: ya, i agree. it's not the caffeine, its the sweet, sweet, titties, and tight asses.

Oh, cool. So you're OK if a gay guy grabs your ass or package then, right?


i was commenting on what MAKES us want to do that, not that actually doing it would be a good or acceptable thing.

if some homo grabbed my package, i would be surprised, and ask that he not do that again. if he wants to go ahead and rape me, i would be opposed to that.

but go ahead and enjoy this game...

danceswithfat.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-07-07 11:21:05 AM  
not quite, this does have precedent

According to this ancient text, Caffeine does cause ungovernable salacity, even more so than wine

Link

bonus points to the first farker who reads all the way to page 273
 
2012-07-07 11:22:11 AM  
Gas, grass, or ass, nobody rides for free!
 
2012-07-07 11:32:02 AM  
Ahh caffeine...

I have a bar of caffeinated soap in my house. It works very well, even just washing your hands gives me about the same reaction a cup of coffee would. Of course, showering with it gives you a real good kick in the pants. Unfortunately my kids (4 and 2.5) snuck upstairs the one day and by the time I got up there they had both lathered up to their elbows with it. Pupils the size of dinner plates and their reaction time went through the roof. It took about 2 hours for the effects to wear off.
 
2012-07-07 11:44:10 AM  
Coffee?

Tea?

Monster?
 
2012-07-07 11:54:08 AM  

Pumpernickel bread: You know, if it was just that one day and not a pattern of behavior, there may be something to that defense. Not necessarily caffeine, but some other adverse reaction to a drug, or something else, that caused his inhibitions to evaporate.


You've been here long enough to know that this type of reasoning is unacceptable.

I clicked tfa expecting this to happen on the 358 or #7 city bus. Always an adventure. Wasn't it the 358 that took the dive off the bridge years ago?
 
2012-07-07 11:55:46 AM  
Caffeine made Obama a communist and nazis gas the jews


True story
 
2012-07-07 12:03:42 PM  

Lanadapter: Caffeine made Obama a communist and nazis gas the jews


True story


I knew Juan Valdez was behind all this shait. Damn that man and his monstrous donkey ...
 
2012-07-07 12:06:49 PM  

s2s2s2: She was all out of Pan Am coffee, but had plenty of TWA tea?


*shakes tiny fist*
 
2012-07-07 12:36:51 PM  
If he had just accepted his sentence like a man, he'd just do 30 days quietly and then get on with his life. Instead he chose the "It was the caffeine" defense, thus launching him onto the news and Fark.
 
2012-07-07 12:41:53 PM  
api.ning.com

Considers this guy an amateur.

/It's like Tourette's!
 
2012-07-07 12:44:45 PM  
Jeez, and I drink an entire pot every morning, and never get the inclination to grope girly parts.

Wait, I'm gay. That must be why..

//heavy on the cream
 
2012-07-07 01:12:54 PM  
Just so you know, these kind of defense are basically PR for his friends and family to justify that he's a pedo. Not for the court, anyone with an ounce of sense says it would never work.
 
2012-07-07 01:23:06 PM  

AbbeySomeone:

I clicked tfa expecting this to happen on the 358 or #7 city bus. Always an adventure. Wasn't it the 358 that took the dive off the bridge years ago?



At the time, that was the 359 Express. Metro retired the number and replaced it with 358, largely as a result of the shooting.

(I was living in Wallingford in 1998 so I remember it pretty vividly. Now, lucky me, I live in Rainier Valley, on the #7 route.)
 
2012-07-07 02:05:36 PM  
img27.imageshack.us
 
2012-07-07 02:33:45 PM  

FloydA: AbbeySomeone:

I clicked tfa expecting this to happen on the 358 or #7 city bus. Always an adventure. Wasn't it the 358 that took the dive off the bridge years ago?


At the time, that was the 359 Express. Metro retired the number and replaced it with 358, largely as a result of the shooting.

(I was living in Wallingford in 1998 so I remember it pretty vividly. Now, lucky me, I live in Rainier Valley, on the #7 route.)


I hope your diving gear is ready and recently inspected ;)
 
2012-07-07 02:42:37 PM  
images.fineartamerica.com
 
2012-07-07 06:26:24 PM  
FTFA:Sands' words did little to calm the angry mother of one of his victims. In court, the woman read a letter her daughter had written.

"Ken left me with nightmares that would leave me sleepless for nights, afraid to fall asleep. I've had dreams of him hurting me and my family in violent ways over and over again," the letter said.

Okay, this guy should definitely be severely punished ....however if you're 15 or 16 and getting slapped or pinched on the butt by some dude has this affect on you, your parents have sheltered you to a nearly criminal degree. The rest of high school is not going to be easy for her.
 
2012-07-07 09:09:54 PM  
Come on, have you seen those girls? They're sporting K-cups!
 
Displayed 49 of 49 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report