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(Buzzfeed)   "Eat What You Want and Die Like a Man" plus 17 other ways to prove your manhood. Fark needs a food tab   (buzzfeed.com) divider line 80
    More: Amusing, self-help, buyer beware  
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12168 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jul 2012 at 9:44 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-07 08:31:19 AM
s3-ec.buzzfed.com

Keep praying guys, the gay is almost gone
 
2012-07-07 09:19:01 AM
food tab is a great idea. let's do that.
 
2012-07-07 09:39:24 AM
I prefer to have the health I want instead of eating what I want.
 
2012-07-07 09:45:55 AM
No thanks, I'm good with life, love, dating(none), sex, faith(none), and anything else you are selfhelpselling.

And my wife has more than enough cookbooks for several families.
 
2012-07-07 09:46:39 AM

Lando Lincoln: I prefer to have the health I want instead of eating what I want.


So you can spend an extra 5 years being abused in an old folks' home? Screw that. Big ol' heart attack and POOF! The peace of the grave.
 
2012-07-07 09:48:32 AM
I all the sudden feel very manly. Is it time for the cussing and the spitting now?
 
2012-07-07 09:52:01 AM

megalynn44: I all the sudden feel very manly. Is it time for the cussing and the spitting now?


Depends if you are done with the grunting yet.
 
2012-07-07 09:53:29 AM
s3-ec.buzzfed.com

Dress Like a Pimpified Cap'n Crunch
 
2012-07-07 10:01:01 AM
s3-ec.buzzfed.com

Umm, no.

/that's what my food eats
 
2012-07-07 10:01:57 AM

ghare: Lando Lincoln: I prefer to have the health I want instead of eating what I want.

So you can spend an extra 5 years being abused in an old folks' home? Screw that. Big ol' heart attack and POOF! The peace of the grave.


Fark that. I ain't going to a nursing home. I got tired of feeling nasty all of the time, so I changed my eating habits. I'm glad I did.
 
2012-07-07 10:02:04 AM
One thing all those books got wrong: real men don't read.
 
2012-07-07 10:04:43 AM
It's 7am & I'm drinking a Guinness w/a shot of espresso watching the Tour de France. It's going to be 85F and sunny today so i have the windows open enjoying the morning air. My life doesn't suck.
 
2012-07-07 10:06:48 AM

How do you prove your manhood? I tell you, I tell you everything! I tell it to you! You have....you have to looka lika man.


img703.imageshack.us

 
2012-07-07 10:07:02 AM
The author's a farking moron. The covers should have been affiliate-linked to the Amazon page for each title.
 
2012-07-07 10:08:28 AM
A dietary pattern which is high in fruit, vegetables, nuts, whole grains, and fish but low in red and processed meat and refined grains is more represented in subjects without ED.

Link
 
2012-07-07 10:09:22 AM
I dunno subby, the picture of bieber at the botton of list isn't helping.
 
2012-07-07 10:09:48 AM

Lando Lincoln: I prefer to have the health I want instead of eating what I want.


Why does man kill?
Man kills for food.

But not always.
Occasionally, there must be a beverage.
 
2012-07-07 10:11:22 AM
Another vote for a food tab. I mean, who here doesn't have a food/booze album on their FB? We lurves us some food and booze.

Oh, and those books are a bunch of shiat. If you aren't already a 'man', I seriously doubt a book is going to help you out.
 
2012-07-07 10:16:14 AM
You'd have to cram me into the Clockwork Orange setup to get me to read those.
 
2012-07-07 10:16:22 AM
All this obsessive gendering...it's embarrassing.
 
2012-07-07 10:22:54 AM
i112.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-07 10:29:30 AM

Generation_D: [s3-ec.buzzfed.com image 345x509]

Keep praying guys, the gay is almost gone


Batista??
 
2012-07-07 10:30:34 AM
If I feel lethargic or bloated I eat healthier for a while. I'll mix in fast food or other less healthy food after a while and the cycle repeats. Cholesterol is a tad high but I'm ok with that. Every other measurable is fine and I'm pudgy but happy.

Long story short? Find what works for you, maybe it's in a book and maybe not.
 
2012-07-07 10:34:08 AM

Spoon over Marin: [i112.photobucket.com image 500x344]


Ha! That's hilarious
 
2012-07-07 10:35:40 AM
 
2012-07-07 10:35:49 AM
Want to feel like a man? Go learn how to make fire using either flint and steel or a couple of sticks. That will make you feel like a man.

Oh yeah, farking a woman also makes you feel like a man. And you can feel even more like a man for every Big O that you can give her.

So, yeah, making fire or farking. Go do them!
 
2012-07-07 10:37:17 AM
I have #2
/Only used one recipe
 
2012-07-07 10:43:19 AM
We already have a food tab, it's called the main page.

/America sounds fat
 
2012-07-07 10:43:30 AM

Mock26: Want to feel like a man? Go learn how to make fire using either flint and steel or a couple of sticks. That will make you feel like a man.

Oh yeah, farking a woman also makes you feel like a man. And you can feel even more like a man for every Big O that you can give her.

So, yeah, making fire or farking. Go do them!


Killing things, too. Go kill a small animal and eat it raw.
 
2012-07-07 10:45:24 AM

baka-san: No thanks, I'm good with life, love, dating(none), sex, faith(none), and anything else you are selfhelpselling.

And my wife has more than enough cookbooks for several families.


You let your wife cook?
 
2012-07-07 10:45:29 AM
Just spent the morning fishing. Now getting ready to clean a half dozen trout. Brunch will be manly in my household.
 
2012-07-07 10:53:39 AM
I can't help but notice the recent popularity of food as entertainment has increased in direct proportion to our waistlines.
 
2012-07-07 10:54:28 AM

ghare: Screw that. Big ol' heart attack and POOF! The peace of the grave.


No real man is afraid of death like that but unfortunately odds are against it working out that way. More like "Ahhhh! pain! more pain!!!! help!!!! EMT's save your life. Now you're in constant pain, anxiety, weak, crippled, and can't do anything normally any more. Then a stroke to further cripple you. Now comes the next heart attack, more pain!"

Yeah, fark that shiat.
 
2012-07-07 10:57:25 AM
i301.photobucket.com

Your list is bad and you should feel bad!
 
2012-07-07 11:02:22 AM
"Eat What You Want and Die Like a Man"

l2.yimg.com

"That's gonna be my campaign slogan, Kenyan Boy."
 
2012-07-07 11:14:02 AM
Another vote for a food tab. Doesnt have to just be food. It could be a "Bar tab!"

/ba dum tish
 
2012-07-07 11:19:37 AM
Smoke like a man - Camel straights or Luckys. Tampons are for girls, and they don't belong on the end of a man's cigarette. Or roll your own, keeping in mind that using a machine that stuffs loose tobacco in a prerolled tube is not rolling your own. An alternative is a cheap, but leaf wrapped, cigar like Munniemaker. If you need your tobacco "flavor infused," you don't deserve to have it.

Work like a man - Fight fires, use heavy machinery, build things, or otherwise use your body or manly machinery to physically accomplish your work.

Exercise like a man - If you're already working like a man, working out should be unnecessary. Pretty gym muscles only prove that you're as vain as woman. Worrying about the definition of your abs is less important than the ability of your body to do what your brain asks of it.

Drink like a man - Whisky, neat. If you need to dilute your liquor to get it down, you don't deserve to drink it.

Prepare like a man - At the very least, you should carry on your person a way to start a fire and a pocket knife. Your car should have physical road maps, water, rope, duct tape, hand tools and jumper cables in the trunk.

Think like a man - You should be able to come up with a solution to overcome life's little irritations. Humans did not evolve to think critically and use tools so we could sit on our asses while someone else fixes our problems.
 
2012-07-07 11:28:12 AM

Mock26: Want to feel like a man? Go learn how to make fire using either flint and steel or a couple of sticks. That will make you feel like a man.

Oh yeah, farking a woman also makes you feel like a man. And you can feel even more like a man for every Big O that you can give her.

So, yeah, making fire or farking. Go do them!


Or crush beer cans across your forehead. While playing football.
 
2012-07-07 11:37:30 AM
Drive like a woman:
and end up in the Hospital
 
2012-07-07 11:47:49 AM

quickdraw: Another vote for a food tab. Doesnt have to just be food. It could be a "Bar tab!"

/ba dum tish


I've rallied for a food tab. TFD has food arguments and snobbery discussions frequently.
 
2012-07-07 11:48:00 AM

gunsmack: Umm, no.

/that's what my food eats


The follow up to this book is Man's Guide to Owning 30 Cats
 
2012-07-07 11:50:48 AM

DeltaPunch: One thing all those books got wrong: real men don't read.


Well books at least. My guess most men read a lot of web articles, magazines, and other non book things.
 
2012-07-07 11:52:19 AM

Galileo's Daughter: Mock26: Want to feel like a man? Go learn how to make fire using either flint and steel or a couple of sticks. That will make you feel like a man.

Oh yeah, farking a woman also makes you feel like a man. And you can feel even more like a man for every Big O that you can give her.

So, yeah, making fire or farking. Go do them!

Or crush beer cans across your forehead. While playing football.


Pfft. Football is for pussies.
 
2012-07-07 11:53:17 AM

lizyrd: Smoke like a man - Camel straights or Luckys. Tampons are for girls, and they don't belong on the end of a man's cigarette. Or roll your own, keeping in mind that using a machine that stuffs loose tobacco in a prerolled tube is not rolling your own. An alternative is a cheap, but leaf wrapped, cigar like Munniemaker. If you need your tobacco "flavor infused," you don't deserve to have it.


And, of course, die like a man - Gasping your last breath through a hole in your throat, your body wasted by chemotherapy into a sticklike human parody strapped to a wheelchair and dependent on others to feed you, bathe you, and dispose of your bodily wastes.
 
2012-07-07 11:57:43 AM
How to be a man:
Step 1. Be born with a pecker
 
2012-07-07 12:00:25 PM
Not a Rick Roll. (Or is it?) Click like a man.
 
2012-07-07 12:02:53 PM
If you need a book to tell you how to be a man, you might have missed the point.


/hint: If you can make her laugh, nothing else matters.
 
2012-07-07 12:05:44 PM
Free men who love liberty eat red meat and drink scotch whiskey and piss on Commies.

Dare me.

/food tab is obligatory
//Drew?
 
2012-07-07 12:15:04 PM
I eat very healthy, exercise, and look 14 years younger than I am. The bad news is, the only girls that flirt with me are 18. Wait... did I say bad news?
 
2012-07-07 12:16:56 PM
As someone whose father is recovering from a triple-bypass, eating 'like a man' and not caring, is no longer part of my agenda.
 
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