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(Christian Science Monitor)   Are you a Real American? Take this quiz to find out. Subby is 61% Real American, 39% Ignorant   (csmonitor.com) divider line 378
    More: PSA, real Americans, United States  
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25167 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jul 2012 at 10:46 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-06 07:08:34 PM
I don't need any steenking test to tell me i'm Canadian
 
2012-07-06 07:17:35 PM
I did one of those quiz thingies for Canada Day and it turns out that not only am I not an average Canadian, I'm not even in the right country.

Please send cash. It's going to take me a Hell of a lot of money to move to the right one.
 
2012-07-06 07:18:23 PM
74% real American. Not bad for a guy who was born in China.
 
2012-07-06 07:25:31 PM
87%, and I'm the libbiest libby to ever lib. Wonder how the Thrilla' From Wassilla would do.
 
2012-07-06 07:34:28 PM
I only got 65%, done in by the sports questions and the food questions. How the Hell would I remember what's on a Big Mac? I haven't touched one of those things in decades. And if there are balls to be chased, I'll hire a dog.

I did get some of the harder general knowledge questions. Pretty much the same as the results of my Canadian quiz: easy stuff for most people, hard for me; hard stuff, easy. I'd still be in the wrong country if I were American.
 
2012-07-06 07:39:28 PM

verbal_jizm: 87%, and I'm the libbiest libby to ever lib.


74%, and I challenge your super liberalism.
 
2012-07-06 07:39:39 PM
You learn something new every day. There were two rat packs?

/who knew?
 
2012-07-06 07:52:23 PM
You answered 19 of 23 questions correctly for a total score of 83%.

I don't know sh*t about big macs or condiments or rat packs.
 
2012-07-06 08:12:24 PM

RexTalionis: 74% real American. Not bad for a guy who was born in China.


83% real American. Not bad for a guy who was born in Cuba.
 
2012-07-06 08:14:24 PM
21/23

done in by the Rat Pack and condiments!
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-07-06 08:15:38 PM
No javascript so I don't get any of these newfangled percentages, but comparing my answers to the correct ones displayed I see I missed four (10, 12, 20, 22). So I'm mostly American.
 
2012-07-06 08:16:13 PM
Is there an easier way to take this test? Yeah I am a real American. A real lazy American.
 
2012-07-06 08:16:14 PM
83%. I got the condiment one wrong. I guessed salsa.

Damn you George Constanza!
 
2012-07-06 08:16:27 PM

propasaurus: RexTalionis: 74% real American. Not bad for a guy who was born in China.

83% real American. Not bad for a guy who was born in Cuba.


Hey, at least you were in the right hemisphere.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-07-06 08:26:34 PM
Meet Us at the Stick

Like you, I'm too young to care about the Rat Pack and too disgusted by mayo and ketchup to care about the answer to condiments.
 
2012-07-06 08:27:20 PM
18/23. Haven't read Catcher in the Rye in 20 years, or seen Gone With The Wind ever.
 
2012-07-06 08:30:51 PM
You answered 19 of 23 questions correctly for a total score of 83%.

Condiments
cheese steak (WTF?)
rat pack
I don't remember

And some lucky guessing.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-07-06 08:31:01 PM
elev8meL8r: Haven't read Catcher in the Rye in 20 years, or seen Gone With The Wind ever.

I have not seen Gone With The Wind either but the last scene is very famous.
 
2012-07-06 08:36:06 PM
Scored 62 % and I'm not even American
 
2012-07-06 08:36:36 PM
74% - a mixture of stupid trivia with super easy trivia. Larry the cable guy followed by 'what is the best selling condiment in america' and quotes from gone with the wind?
 
2012-07-06 08:37:29 PM

elev8meL8r: 18/23. Haven't read Catcher in the Rye in 20 years, or seen Gone With The Wind ever.


That one tricked me. I knew he was in a mental institution but the whole story took place basically in NYC.
 
2012-07-06 08:38:04 PM
You answered 20 of 23 questions correctly for a total score of 87%.

Rat pack, condiments, and cheese steak. While I should have known about the rat pack, the other two can lick my balls....my no mayo, no cheese-whiz balls.

Oh, and I'm 10000% more american than the retard that makes you cycle through 44 pages for a 23 question quiz.
 
2012-07-06 08:38:31 PM
I'm 100% American, in the sense that there's no way I'm taking a quiz that requires loading 46 pages of questions and answers.

Eight out of the first ten, though. Springsteen and Bogie.
 
2012-07-06 08:39:56 PM
 
2012-07-06 08:41:11 PM

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: I'm 100% American, in the sense that there's no way I'm taking a quiz that requires loading 46 pages of questions and answers.

Eight out of the first ten, though. Springsteen and Bogie.


Yeah... me too

/couldn't they just tell you your score at the end?
 
2012-07-06 08:41:48 PM
Well, I do fight for the rights of every man.
 
2012-07-06 08:41:58 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: I'm 100% American, in the sense that there's no way I'm taking a quiz that requires loading 46 pages of questions and answers.

Eight out of the first ten, though. Springsteen and Bogie.

Yeah... me too

/couldn't they just tell you your score at the end?


You apparently had to click ONE MORE TIME
 
2012-07-06 08:42:36 PM
83% real American
Maybe I should visit there someday.
 
2012-07-06 08:46:40 PM
Bogart and the Rat pack?

Meh.

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn
-Michael Scott.
 
2012-07-06 09:04:42 PM
87% real American.
 
2012-07-06 09:10:56 PM
87%
missed condiment, rat pack, and cheesesteak.
 
2012-07-06 09:12:55 PM

brantgoose: I only got 65%, done in by the sports questions and the food questions. How the Hell would I remember what's on a Big Mac? I haven't touched one of those things in decades. And if there are balls to be chased, I'll hire a dog.

I did get some of the harder general knowledge questions. Pretty much the same as the results of my Canadian quiz: easy stuff for most people, hard for me; hard stuff, easy. I'd still be in the wrong country if I were American.


I had to sing the jingle...Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onion on a sesame seed bun.

What kind of commie are you anyway? Geeze!
 
2012-07-06 09:14:02 PM
Answered the first three questions correctly.

Then began to realize that the REAL answer to every question was, "honestly, who gives a shiat?"
 
2012-07-06 09:19:19 PM
20 of 23, 87%... Cheez Whiz? Seriously?
 
2012-07-06 09:20:22 PM

brantgoose: I only got 65%, done in by the sports questions and the food questions. How the Hell would I remember what's on a Big Mac? I haven't touched one of those things in decades. And if there are balls to be chased, I'll hire a dog.

I did get some of the harder general knowledge questions. Pretty much the same as the results of my Canadian quiz: easy stuff for most people, hard for me; hard stuff, easy. I'd still be in the wrong country if I were American.


Yup. That's all I needed to hear before deciding not to take the quiz.
 
2012-07-06 09:20:38 PM
19/23

I've never eaten a big mac, how the hell do I know what's on it
 
2012-07-06 09:24:44 PM

The Onion is prophetic: 20 of 23, 87%... Cheez Whiz? Seriously?


Yeah. People from Philly are weird.
 
2012-07-06 09:28:14 PM
83%... not too bad.

I had a tough time with the Bill Clinton instrument question. I answered "saxophone" because "wet cigar" wasn't available.
 
2012-07-06 09:28:40 PM
/prints out quiz
//puts into toaster
///BURN BABY BURN

Did I pass?
 
2012-07-06 09:29:15 PM
Alright, some people are taking this seriously, so I'll try.
 
2012-07-06 09:31:36 PM
78% real American...but, but I'm Canadian...
Philli cheese steak with cheese wiz, really?!? Condiment, Rat pack, perfect NFL season and one other that I've
already forgotten round out my fail....

Like someone said earlier, did the Canada day one a few days ago. My citizenship is safe.
 
2012-07-06 09:31:57 PM
OK, getting a grade after every question is getting on my nerves. 3 for 3.

/and that's how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop
 
2012-07-06 09:34:28 PM

Meet Us at the Stick: 21/23

done in by the Rat Pack and condiments!


As was I. I will admit to guessing on both sports questions, because I don't follow sports. I only knew the first four presidents in order because I just finished watching "John Adams" again and I was reading about him last week. I also maintain "too long" would have been a fair answer for the Red Sox question, but I was too chicken to try.

I guess what this really all boils down to is: fark Humperdick Bogart and mayonnaise. Mayonnaise? REALLY, AMERICA?
 
2012-07-06 09:40:15 PM

sno man: Philli cheese steak with cheese wiz, really?!?


The Onion is prophetic: Cheez Whiz?


This was a loaded question. I knew the correct answer, but Cheez Wiz wasn't even around for the first 20 or so years cheesesteaks were being sold. They used Provolone. The problem is that NOW a "classic" cheesesteak has Cheez Wiz on it. Revisionist history!
 
2012-07-06 09:46:56 PM
87% Real American (and I'm not white, either).

Missed the Rat Pack, condiments, and cheesesteak questions. :(

/prefers salsa
 
2012-07-06 09:50:58 PM

violentsalvation: You answered 19 of 23 questions correctly for a total score of 83%.

Condiments
cheese steak (WTF?)
rat pack
I don't remember presidential quote

And some lucky guessing.


Exactly how I did, except I remembered the 4th one.

brantgoose: How the Hell would I remember what's on a Big Mac? I haven't touched one of those things in decades


I remembered the song from the commercial that listed all the ingredients.
 
2012-07-06 09:51:03 PM
91% pop culture Amurkin? Jeebus, I have to go back to school, and get this crap out of my head!
 
2012-07-06 09:53:36 PM
I think we have all learned that Google is the real American.
 
2012-07-06 10:03:27 PM
You answered 20 of 23 questions correctly for a total score of 87%.

-Mayo
-Cheeze Whiz
-rat pack

verbal_jizm: 87%, and I'm the libbiest libby to ever lib. Wonder how the Thrilla' From Wassilla would do.


I don't know, but if the Pledge of Allegiance is good enough for the founding fathers, it's good enough for her!
 
2012-07-06 10:07:09 PM
87%. That was actually a fun one
 
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