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(Christian Science Monitor)   Are you a Real American? Take this quiz to find out. Subby is 61% Real American, 39% Ignorant   ( divider line
    More: PSA, real Americans, United States  
•       •       •

25193 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jul 2012 at 10:46 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

378 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | » | Newest | Show all

2012-07-07 02:39:22 AM  
Legitimately tripped up on their inaccurate "cheese whiz" answer. I guessed provolone, which is of course correct. And we all know it.

//I click first, and think about the questions later.
///got the Big Mac question right simply by visualizing it and realizing I never saw any tomatoes on the commercials
2012-07-07 02:40:28 AM  
Who here sang the old McDonald's Big Mac song ("two all beef patties.....") to figure out the ingredients?
2012-07-07 02:40:47 AM  
Isn't Christian Science a misnomer?
2012-07-07 02:43:24 AM  

fusillade762: Dead for Tax Reasons: bwilson27: Dead for Tax Reasons: 19/23

♫Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun!♫

Thank you, Barry Manilow
2012-07-07 02:45:00 AM  
70% but I was close on three or four of them, just wasn't quite sure which answer was right.

I got the presidents one, which pleases me. Some of the pop culture stuff wasn't fair though, I somehow avoided Catcher In The Rye in school and never felt a need to read it outside of class.
2012-07-07 02:47:44 AM  

basham: uncoveror: I got 83%. I had never heard of Bogie being part of the rat pack. I suspect that mayo is NOT more popular than salsa because they were counting Miracle Whip and its house brand knock-offs as mayo. They aren't. I didn't remember that Holden Caulfield was in the nut house. I did not correctly add fourscore and seven.

I don't believe he was. I believe he was in a tuberculosis clinic in California.

/ Don't really care. Just felt like being anal.

The name "Rat Pack" did not gain popularity with the press or the American public until the 1960s, a number of years after Bogart passed away (in 1957). But Bogie was the center of the pack during its early days in the 1950s.
2012-07-07 02:47:54 AM  

selrah: That damn test is rigged...

21. The Red Sox won the World Series in 2004 and 2007. How many years did fans have to wait for the win in 2004?

Too many is a valid and completely American answer, and it ruined my perfect score.

Sorry, too many is too lazy. "The curse of the Babe" fell upon the Boston Red Sox when they sold Babe Ruth to the Yankees in 1918.
2012-07-07 02:58:33 AM  

jdemartino: 21/2 for a 91% score. Am proud to say But that damned jingle will be stuck in my head until the day I die, along with "Stairway to Heaven", the theme from "Giligan's Island" and assorted other earwigs.)

Did you know that there is also "Stairway to Gilligan's Island"? I swear! Search for it by name on YouTube. The words to Gilligan's fit to Stairway.
2012-07-07 03:06:13 AM  
17 right.
2012-07-07 03:11:42 AM  

Bob Down: 70%
Australian. Never been to USA (not even sure where it is).
Now all I have to do is shoot a few people at the local college and put on 90 kilograms.

If you're talking about cocaine, then yes.
Otherwise, you fail again.
2012-07-07 03:12:57 AM  

Nadie_AZ: You answered 19 of 23 questions correctly for a total score of 83%.

I don't know sh*t about big macs or condiments or rat packs.

I do know about Big Macs. IMHO it's unnatural to have a burger without tomatoes. I made a lucky guess on "The Catcher in the Rye" the first four presidents and on the Red Sox one. I also chose salsa. Ketchup was my second guess.
2012-07-07 03:59:09 AM  

Freschel: I made a lucky guess on "The Catcher in the Rye" the first four presidents and on the Red Sox one. I also chose salsa.

Same thing here exactly. Except for the "Catcher" question.
2012-07-07 04:47:07 AM  
Hm, by the responses in this thread I'd score pretty well on this thing. I love Skynyrd, and put mayo on *everything*.
2012-07-07 04:48:39 AM  

I knew all of that useless trivia would someday come in handy someday. Next, I'm going to learn how to tie my shoes.

/Idiot Savant
2012-07-07 04:57:05 AM  
91% American. That, or I'm just really good at trivia.
2012-07-07 06:03:41 AM  
91%. I guess I also fight for the rights of every man.
2012-07-07 06:34:34 AM  
Well, amazingly I knew 3 (I've read to kill a mocking bird, know how long four score and seven years ago is, and know it's Independence day) but managed to get every single other question wrong on guesses.

But damn, why so many food questions?
2012-07-07 07:05:55 AM  
Not familiar with who the leader of the Rat Pack was and I had no idea which NFL team had a perfect season. The only thing that saved me on the # of years for the Red Sox was a guy I worked with at the time being from Boston.
2012-07-07 07:11:02 AM  
74% here. Damn you Bogart. I guessed Frank because he was Chairman of the Board. Also lost on condiments... eww mayo, Also who is the sick bastard that says Cheeze Whiz on a Philly? It is Provolone. Had a brain fart on the president quote and thought Only thing we have to fear was Churchill not FDR.
2012-07-07 07:15:12 AM  

change1211: 48%, is that okay for a Canadian?

Well with the exchange rate... sure why not. Doubt i could do better on a Canadian quiz.
2012-07-07 07:28:34 AM  
Perfect season? That needed to be defined further, as Tampa Bay and Detroit would like to be added. I did get that one right though.
Still disagree with Cheese Steak - I don't think the Whiz was around for original recipe - and I've never seen anything but slices used. I'm not from Philly though...
Mayonnaise? I thought that was Holland?
And I forgot about the Bogart gang of miscreants
2012-07-07 08:00:09 AM  
Bogus - has nothing to do with Real Americans - it's all about the European wetbacks and their parasite culture.
2012-07-07 08:08:09 AM  
16 Correct 7 Wrong You answered 16 of 23 questions correctly for a total score of 70%.
2012-07-07 08:11:26 AM  
Let's see...

What is Bruce Springsteen's song, "Born in the USA," about? Why do I care? Bruce Springsteen sucks.
Which of these ingredients does not come standard on a McDonald's Big Mac? Another who cares?
Which is not a quote by a US president? Ahh, a decent and interesting trivia question.
Where did the folk song "Yankee Doodle" first come from? Ok, not too shabby.
Which is the only NFL team to have a complete perfect season? A sports question? Figures, associate USA to sports.
What is Atticus Finch's profession? Who?
Can you list the first four presidents in the correct order? Yay! Another good question.
Where do the Simpsons live? Huh? They don't live, they're cartoons. Stupid.
What is the American flag's nickname? Good question again.
Who was the original leader of the Rat Pack? Again, who cares?
In "Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back," what does Han Solo say when Princess Leia finally tells him, "I love you?" Answering this makes you knowledgeable on Star Wars, not a farkin' American.
What type of cheese is used on a classic Philly Cheesesteak? Who cares? Bout as bad as the Big Mac question.
In "Catcher in the Rye" where is the main character Holden Caulfield located while he is telling the story? Ok, when can we get to a question about the US?
How long is four score and seven years? Ok, bringing back Bill & Ted flashbacks, but decent question.
What state was Coca-Cola invented in? Who cares again?
Who is the object of Charlie Brown's unrequited love? Another toon question, next they'll ask on another song.
What is the first line of Lynyrd Skynrd's song "Free Bird?" See?
In the movie "Gone with the Wind," what did Scarlett O'Hara say to provoke Rhett Butler's famous line, "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn?" Don't care, hate the movie, etc.
What musical instrument does Bill Clinton play? bit better, but still not caring.
What is the trademark phrase of Larry the Cable Guy? I may sound crazy, but this is sounding like a redneck litmus test.
The Red Sox won the World Series in 2004 and 2007. How many years did fans have to wait for the win in 2004? Another stupid sports question.
What's the best selling condiment in America? The idiocy... it burns.
What's the official name of the July 4 holiday? Easy and yet good question.

I may not be as good as I should be at math, but that makes 6 out of 23, or 26-27%, that actually are good at testing for a real American.

/I scored 61%
2012-07-07 08:15:54 AM  
Proud to get 78%. But prouder that it wasn't higher.
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-07-07 08:19:10 AM  
Cheez Wiz wasn't even around for the first 20 or so years cheesesteaks were being sold. They used Provolone.

And I answered Provolone. I want my citizenship back!
2012-07-07 08:23:54 AM  

Corn_Fed: Can any Philadelphians confirm the Cheese Whiz? I'm pretty sure that provolone is still considered a true cheesesteak, yes?

Bobby Flay did a thrown down with Tony Luke on Philly cheese steaks straight to video.
2012-07-07 08:41:37 AM  

Aigoo: That's because the IDIOT who came up with that quiz has never been near a genuine Philly cheesesteak in his/her life. The CORRECT answer is Provolone. Some places will use American, but no legit deli anywhere within 200 miles of Philly will use cheese whiz.

This. Also, the question is FAIL before it even gets to Philly because anything that's made of more than 50% vegetable oil isn't farking cheese in the first place. And that goes for that yellow rubbery crap they call "American cheese" too, you philistines.
2012-07-07 08:45:01 AM  
Boom. Headshot. 100%.

Really should have had a question about firearms.

Would have been more entertaining, and probably harder, if they all had actual answers and truthiness answers, like the Springsteen one.

A slightly better test could probably differentiate between Real American, edumacated lieberal and wealthy coastal pseudolib....

/ now off to rtft...
2012-07-07 09:02:37 AM  
You answered 22 of 23 questions correctly for a total score of 96%. (Mayo??? Really???)
2012-07-07 09:31:23 AM  
21 of 23, Mayo and Humprie Bogart tripped me up...
2012-07-07 09:49:55 AM  

Meet Us at the Stick: 21/23

done in by the Rat Pack and condiments!

Me too.
2012-07-07 09:52:31 AM  
65%, despite being a Canadian who lives in Japan. Granted, 3-4 were lucky guesses and I shouldn't count those, so more like 40%.
2012-07-07 09:58:51 AM  
83%. Partially cause I'm NOT a fan of Bruce Springsteen
2012-07-07 10:03:48 AM  
I am a product of the American school system with only 57% right. I know where the Simpsons live but not any of the literature questions. I did know the order of first four presidents, (slapping myself on the back) but nothing on sports. Why no math questions? Like how many rednecks does it take to change a lightbulb?
2012-07-07 10:08:58 AM  
damn, missed the rat pack and condiment questions

/I just like to say salsa
2012-07-07 10:21:53 AM  
Saw Bruce Springsteen, closed tab.
2012-07-07 10:30:30 AM  
Damn you, mayo, once again.
2012-07-07 10:33:20 AM  
91%, but fark whoever decided to slip warrensburg into a question. escaped that place with a purpose, named the router 'screw missouri' for a reason...

/missed mayo and rat pack
2012-07-07 11:00:59 AM  
20/23 I'm not only a liberal lib commie pinko, I actually LIVE in one of the places they rammed planes into to attack America (Washington DC) where people are somehow not "Real Americans" in GOP parlance.

And I don't consider some of those to be "american" questions as much as just not being a complete dumbass.
2012-07-07 11:10:37 AM  
Missed Springsteen, NFL, rat pack, cheesesteak, Coke, and condiment questions.

74%...a C. That makes me a realer American than those Poindexter bookworms who got B's and A's. Mediocrity FTW.
2012-07-07 11:14:21 AM  
22/23 - I can't believe I got a wrong answer when the right one is Cheez Whiz. One would think I'd know everything there is to know about it.

Cheez Whiz: Cheese taking a piss
2012-07-07 11:18:47 AM  
21/23, done in by Cheeze whiz and mayo
2012-07-07 11:20:13 AM  
I am 91% American.

Missed the tomatoes in a Big Mac and mayo beating salsa.

The one about the presidents was funny.
2012-07-07 11:22:58 AM  
douchebag/hater: I am 91% American.

Missed the tomatoes in a Big Mac and mayo beating salsa.

The one about the presidents was funny.

Well I guess mayo won the condiment thing because ketchup and salsa are both vegitables according to St. Ronnie
2012-07-07 11:31:12 AM  
I just can't wrap my head around the fact that mayonnaise outsells ketchup. I say shenanigans till I can speak with an expert on condiment sales in America!
2012-07-07 11:53:59 AM  
Definitely not news. This can go fark itself, and whoever chose those questions.
2012-07-07 12:42:22 PM  

Outlaw2097: 91%, but fark whoever decided to slip warrensburg into a question. escaped that place with a purpose, named the router 'screw missouri' for a reason...

/missed mayo and rat pack

We just moved there last week. My husband is going to teach at UCM.

I got annoyed after about 12 questions and 24 clicks.

Was doing well.
2012-07-07 12:50:29 PM  
I'm not American but I got the mayo right.

2012-07-07 01:27:23 PM  
83%. Mayonnaise over ketchup? C'mon.
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