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(Christian Science Monitor)   Are you a Real American? Take this quiz to find out. Subby is 61% Real American, 39% Ignorant   (csmonitor.com) divider line 378
    More: PSA, real Americans, United States  
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25162 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jul 2012 at 10:46 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-07 12:52:33 AM
48%.

That test is wrong about so many things.
 
2012-07-07 12:53:05 AM
20/23. I had heard Rat Pack and mayonaise factoids before, but I second guessed myself. Never had a chance on the Freebird lyrics, though
 
2012-07-07 12:55:58 AM
Bullshiat pop-culture test has nothing to do with being an American.

i.imgur.com
 
2012-07-07 12:56:06 AM

basham: The Onion is prophetic: 20 of 23, 87%... Cheez Whiz? Seriously?

Seconded.

/ And if I recall correctly - it wasn't Han Solo who said "I know" when Princess Leia said "I love you." That was Leia's response when Han said "I love you" to her.


I came here to say "WHY does knowing this make you a true american?!" but anyway:

Link
 
2012-07-07 12:58:02 AM

uncoveror: I got 83%. I had never heard of Bogie being part of the rat pack. I suspect that mayo is NOT more popular than salsa because they were counting Miracle Whip and its house brand knock-offs as mayo. They aren't. I didn't remember that Holden Caulfield was in the nut house. I did not correctly add fourscore and seven.


I don't believe he was. I believe he was in a tuberculosis clinic in California.

/ Don't really care. Just felt like being anal.
 
2012-07-07 12:58:23 AM
20/23 87%

Done in by the Rat Pack, Cheesesteaks, and Condiments. (Hmm, sounds like an answer from Carnac.)

/Never read "The Catcher in the Rye" or saw "Gone With The Wind"
 
2012-07-07 12:59:03 AM

violentsalvation: You answered 19 of 23 questions correctly for a total score of 83%.

Condiments
cheese steak (WTF?)
rat pack
I don't remember

And some lucky guessing.


That's because the IDIOT who came up with that quiz has never been near a genuine Philly cheesesteak in his/her life. The CORRECT answer is Provolone. Some places will use American, but no legit deli anywhere within 200 miles of Philly will use cheese whiz.

Holy shiat, did that guy look the recipe up on "what Philly and East Coasters will feed tourists because they don't farkin know any better" or what?!

And Rat Pack was 50-60 years ago. Easy one to miss, especially since the quiz seems inaccurate: Sinatra is credited as the leader of the 1950's version (pre-Dean Martin & Sammy Davis Jr) in articles, with Bogart credited as the PR guy. Confusion could be because Bogart's wife, Lauren Bacall, is credited as the female head (Judy Garland and others were also a part of the group). Either way, that quiz is seriously farked on a few questions cause their answers don't exactly match with readily available information.

Also, yes two rat packs - 1950's and 1960's, with Sinatra in both, but was the "two rat packs" comment referring to the Brat Pack of the 80's?
 
2012-07-07 01:01:09 AM
Missed the Big Mac one (yuck... has to have been 20 years since I've ordered one of those), the Philly one (Cheese Whiz? Seriously? That shiat is nastier than a Big Mac) and the Red Sox one ('Too many' was also correct).
 
2012-07-07 01:01:24 AM
Uggh... It's like a slideshow, but each question gets 2 slides. No, thanks.
 
2012-07-07 01:02:55 AM
87 percent...apparently I don't know enough about the Rat Pack and I forgot that thanks to Reagan ketchup is a vegetable and not a condiment. And that Catcher in the Rye sucks so I forgot where what's his pussy was when he was whining about how hard his life was.
 
2012-07-07 01:03:55 AM

some_beer_drinker: I don't need any steenking test to tell me i'm Canadian


I got practically none of the cultural reference questions right (e.g., Star Wars, NFL, the Bruce Springsteen song, etc.).

However, I did get all of the literature and presidential questions right...

So, I'm either a nerd or a Canadian.
 
2012-07-07 01:04:26 AM
www.things4myspace.com
 
2012-07-07 01:04:33 AM
fc01.deviantart.net

//everyone knows mayo is Swedish
 
2012-07-07 01:05:56 AM
Mayonaise is white. Which is a sign of surrender. Ketchup is red, which is a sign of the blood that has been shed for the American people.
 
2012-07-07 01:06:23 AM
First cheesteak sold in 1930. First Cheese whiz sold in 1952......

I know cheese whiz is awesome, but i did not know hit had the ability to traverse time.
 
2012-07-07 01:08:13 AM

steerforth: sno man: toraque: So to be a Real American you have to know Lynyrd Skynyrd lyrics, mayonnaise, the Simpsons and Larry the Cable Guys' tagline?

fark this, someone else can have my 70%.

/I got all four of those right goddammit

have a go at the Canadian one... most of these are actual questions from the real citizenship study guide...

I really had little idea on most of those questions, but I loved this one:

16. Who is Canada's Head of State?
Queen Elizabeth II
Jean Chretien
Adrienne Clarkson
Wayne Gretsky


God save the Queen - the correct answer to that question.

But Chretien used to be President or PM or whatever the hell their elected leader is called, IIRC. About ten or so years ago if memory serves.

Gretsky might be able to get elected, though - our northern neighbors do like their hockey (NTTAWWT - so do I), but I'm not sure they're quite as silly as we are, to elect people based on how well they play sports.
 
2012-07-07 01:09:21 AM

Aigoo: That's because the IDIOT who came up with that quiz has never been near a genuine Philly cheesesteak in his/her life. The CORRECT answer is Provolone. Some places will use American, but no legit deli anywhere within 200 miles of Philly will use cheese whiz.


I picked provolone. I came away from this quiz thinking: "no wonder I don't like arby's cheese steak".
 
2012-07-07 01:11:12 AM

natewill: what the fark is up with the mayonnaise?


Mayonnaise? MAYO-naise!?!

www.monstersandcritics.de
 
2012-07-07 01:11:14 AM
78%.

//Canadian.
 
2012-07-07 01:11:47 AM

orangehat: 87 percent...apparently I don't know enough about the Rat Pack and I forgot that thanks to Reagan ketchup is a vegetable and not a condiment. And that Catcher in the Rye sucks so I forgot where what's his pussy was when he was whining about how hard his life was.


I thought that was Bush... ketchup = tomatoes = vegetable, right? RIGHT?!

/facepalm
 
2012-07-07 01:12:10 AM
70%. I did better on the real citizenship test than I did on the one made up by bigoted retards designed to slam immigrants.

/salsa kicks the shiat out of mayo
 
2012-07-07 01:13:21 AM

Aigoo: steerforth: sno man: toraque: So to be a Real American you have to know Lynyrd Skynyrd lyrics, mayonnaise, the Simpsons and Larry the Cable Guys' tagline?

fark this, someone else can have my 70%.

/I got all four of those right goddammit

have a go at the Canadian one... most of these are actual questions from the real citizenship study guide...

I really had little idea on most of those questions, but I loved this one:

16. Who is Canada's Head of State?
Queen Elizabeth II
Jean Chretien
Adrienne Clarkson
Wayne Gretsky

God save the Queen - the correct answer to that question.

But Chretien used to be President or PM or whatever the hell their elected leader is called, IIRC. About ten or so years ago if memory serves.

Gretsky might be able to get elected, though - our northern neighbors do like their hockey (NTTAWWT - so do I), but I'm not sure they're quite as silly as we are, to elect people based on how well they play sports.


Yes, the Queen of Canadia is the queen of my country too.

/Austrian.
 
2012-07-07 01:15:23 AM
You answered 22 of 23 questions correctly for a total score of 96%.

I do not give two schitts about Football.
 
2012-07-07 01:15:50 AM
21/23, beaten by Catcher in the Rye and Mayo.
 
2012-07-07 01:17:02 AM
Started taking the quiz, closed the window on the 2nd question when I was asked something about ingredients Big Macs.

Sad what is considered being a real American these days.
 
2012-07-07 01:19:42 AM
65%.

Mayonnaise sucks.
 
2012-07-07 01:29:31 AM
I, too am 61% 'Merican; & 39% Eeeropean. I lost out on odd regionals as well as.....

//Farkin' Cheeze Whiz??????????!!!!!?
.....seriously? We don't use actual cheese on my din din of this eve? I need to locate my straight razor. Fark all uh dis.
 
2012-07-07 01:31:13 AM

some_beer_drinker: I don't need any steenking test to tell me i'm Canadian


i gots 70% corrects!
kinda easy!
 
2012-07-07 01:46:55 AM

Ennuipoet: 91% pop culture Amurkin? Jeebus, I have to go back to school, and get this crap out of my head!


You make me feel better. Thx.
 
2012-07-07 01:48:17 AM
Got 78%. Now here's one you can pull if you ever need to embarrass somebody who questions your American heritage:

Ask if he/she knows the words to the national anthem. Let him sing it, then ask him to sing the second verse.

/and the third, and the fourth
//did YOU know there were more verses?
 
2012-07-07 01:48:19 AM

TabASlotB: Meet Us at the Stick: 21/23

done in by the Rat Pack and condiments!

This comment applies equally to my own experience...


Ditto. But as an immigrant from Canada, I forgive myself.

/Thought for sure it had to be ketchup...
 
2012-07-07 01:49:50 AM
52% - Which country should I be moving to?

A lot of the questions seem aimed at people older than I am. Original rat pack? Songs from the 70s and early 80s. Who gives a shiat where Coke was invented.
 
2012-07-07 01:51:11 AM
78% - not bad for a Johnny Foreigner who has only ever spent 2 weeks in the US.
 
2012-07-07 01:52:54 AM
48%, is that okay for a Canadian?
 
2012-07-07 01:55:35 AM
I got 61% too, subby. The sports messed me up.
 
2012-07-07 02:02:50 AM
91% (21 of 23) Also done in by the Rat Pack and condiments.
 
2012-07-07 02:03:49 AM
70%
Australian. Never been to USA (not even sure where it is).
Now all I have to do is shoot a few people at the local college and put on 90 kilograms.
 
2012-07-07 02:05:09 AM
70%. Was more fun than I thought it'd be.

/Got all the quotes right, got the first four presidents in order
//Felt shame that I knew enough pop culture to know Git-R-Done
///Didn't get Rat Pack, McD Big Mac or fave condiment question right
 
2012-07-07 02:07:54 AM
I got all of them right except for the condiment one--I am am not so sure mayonnaise is correct.

I understand why so many people got the Rat Pack one wrong, but I am a big Bogart fan.

The only one I guessed on was the Larry the Cable guy one, and got lucky
 
2012-07-07 02:16:14 AM
70%. There's way too much clicking on that slow site though.
I started keeping track of the questions for you at #9. Here, save yourself some time:
9. What is the American flag's nickname?
10. Who was the original leader of the Rat Pack?
11. In "Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back," what does Han Solo say when Princess Leia finally tells him, "I love you?"
12. What type of cheese is used on a classic Philly Cheesesteak?
13. In "Catcher in the Rye" where is the main character Holden Caulfield located while he is telling the story?
14. How long is four score and seven years?
15. What state was Coca-Cola invented in?
16. Who is the object of Charlie Brown's unrequited love?
17. What is the first line of Lynyrd Skynrd's song "Free Bird?"
18. In the movie "Gone with the Wind," what did Scarlett O'Hara say to provoke Rhett Butler's famous line, "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn?"
19. What musical instrument does Bill Clinton play?
20. What is the trademark phrase of Larry the Cable Guy?
21. The Red Sox won the World Series in 2004 and 2007. How many years did fans have to wait for the win in 2004?
22. What's the best selling condiment in America?
23. What's the official name of the July 4 holiday?
 
2012-07-07 02:19:12 AM

Quex: Got 78%. Now here's one you can pull if you ever need to embarrass somebody who questions your American heritage:

Ask if he/she knows the words to the national anthem. Let him sing it, then ask him to sing the second verse.

/and the third, and the fourth
//did YOU know there were more verses?


True true Americans will also know that the music was ripped off from the British song, "To Anacreon in Heaven," by John Smith.
 
2012-07-07 02:21:17 AM

Aigoo: orangehat: 87 percent...apparently I don't know enough about the Rat Pack and I forgot that thanks to Reagan ketchup is a vegetable and not a condiment. And that Catcher in the Rye sucks so I forgot where what's his pussy was when he was whining about how hard his life was.

I thought that was Bush... ketchup = tomatoes = vegetable, right? RIGHT?!

/facepalm


Nope. That was under Reagan's administration.
 
2012-07-07 02:21:53 AM
there's no way in hell mayonnaise outsells salsa in this country. no farking way, wrong, zero, false, go back home you sour biatch.
 
2012-07-07 02:25:20 AM

Meet Us at the Stick: 21/23

done in by the Rat Pack and condiments!


Exactly the same score and wrong answers for me.

/not American
 
2012-07-07 02:26:44 AM

Fark Me To Tears: 83%... not too bad.

I had a tough time with the Bill Clinton instrument question. I answered "saxophone" because "wet cigar" wasn't available.


The coolest thing is that when Bill Clinton went to Thailand and met the king of Thailand who also plays saxophone. He's been king since 1946 I kid you not, the very year Bill Clinton was born.
 
2012-07-07 02:30:48 AM
"You answered 18 of 23 questions correctly for a total score of 78%."

Damned sports questions killed me.
 
2012-07-07 02:31:48 AM

basham: / And if I recall correctly - it wasn't Han Solo who said "I know" when Princess Leia said "I love you." That was Leia's response when Han said "I love you" to her.


You don't recall correctly.
 
2012-07-07 02:32:05 AM

Fark Me To Tears: 83%... not too bad.

I had a tough time with the Bill Clinton instrument question. I answered "saxophone" because "wet cigar" wasn't available.


t1.gstatic.com

Never watched Animaniacs?
 
2012-07-07 02:35:04 AM
83% here.

/Didn't know about Bogart
//Don't consider "Cheez Whiz" to be cheese
///Never read "A Catcher in the Rye" .....BTW, who was the "Ptcher"?
////Don't like Mayo
 
2012-07-07 02:35:20 AM

violentsalvation: Aigoo: That's because the IDIOT who came up with that quiz has never been near a genuine Philly cheesesteak in his/her life. The CORRECT answer is Provolone. Some places will use American, but no legit deli anywhere within 200 miles of Philly will use cheese whiz.

I picked provolone. I came away from this quiz thinking: "no wonder I don't like arby's cheese steak".


I am so glad you said that. This error on their part makes the mayonnaise question suspect. The genuine Philly cheesesteak places here all do Provolone. And yes they also sell tastykakes and Utz's.
 
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