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(Christian Science Monitor)   Are you a Real American? Take this quiz to find out. Subby is 61% Real American, 39% Ignorant   ( divider line
    More: PSA, real Americans, United States  
•       •       •

25193 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jul 2012 at 10:46 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

378 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | » | Newest | Show all

2012-07-06 10:07:38 PM  

Mayonnaise and Bogart? Come on...
2012-07-06 10:15:16 PM  

Pavia_Resistance: I remembered the song from the commercial that listed all the ingredients.

Ad guy: What the fark rhymes with tomato?
Another ad guy: Potato
2012-07-06 10:32:15 PM  

Meet Us at the Stick: 21/23

done in by the Rat Pack and condiments!

Exactly the same here.
2012-07-06 10:43:55 PM  
Trick question! Cheez Whiz isn't cheese!

2012-07-06 10:48:49 PM  
ok, it seems i suck at trivia

can i get deported to somewhere nice like say Jamaica?
2012-07-06 10:49:42 PM  
70%. Apparently I know nothing about popular music.
2012-07-06 10:50:25 PM  
I am a real American because when it comes crashing down and it hurts inside, that's the time I take a stand. It don't help to hide! Have you hurt my friends? Have you hurt my pride? I gotta be a man. I can't let it slide.
2012-07-06 10:53:11 PM  
You answered 14 of 23 questions correctly for a total score of 61%.

But hey I got the big mac question right

/But not the Mayo
2012-07-06 10:55:55 PM  
Don't understand why CSM says "3 fo 23" when only 10 questions are asked. Whatever.

I got the Simpsons, Old Glory and the order of the first 4 presidents correct. I don't eat big macs and I don't listen to springsteen and I don't know who's a member of the rat pack

2012-07-06 10:56:08 PM  
74%, I haven't been to the US in 16 years. Born and raised in Canada.
2012-07-06 10:56:20 PM  
83% I forgot the big mac song. rat pack , condiments and Catcher in the rye was a long long time ago
2012-07-06 10:56:38 PM  
Real Americans don't click through that many questions.

/Except for the Friday afternoon Fark quiz, of course.
2012-07-06 10:56:45 PM  

Meet Us at the Stick: 21/23

done in by the Rat Pack and condiments!

Me too!

Are you in my head? Do I need to get out the tinfoil again?
2012-07-06 10:57:00 PM  

Like I give a rat's ass about the Miami Dolphins.
2012-07-06 10:57:24 PM  
People, we've been doing the internet for something close to twenty years now.

Can't someone design a farking webpage that doesn't force me to scroll up and down a thousand farking times just to take a stupid farking quiz designed to makes me feel superior to someone else because I happen to know some useless farking trivia about something?

fark I say fark a farking lot.

/that's america.
2012-07-06 10:57:44 PM  
You answered 21 of 23 questions correctly for a total score of 91%.
2012-07-06 10:57:57 PM  
How can ketchup not be number one?!!? Who doesn't have ketchup in the fridge? I'm pretty sure it's a federal law to keep a bottle...or at least it should be.

\ really prefers BBQ sauce...
2012-07-06 10:58:50 PM  
87%. Take yourself back to canadamexicotown subby.
2012-07-06 10:59:29 PM  
♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ AMERICAH ---- FARK YEAH ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫

you can suck on my balls!
2012-07-06 10:59:36 PM  
87%. I, too, blew the Rat Pack, Coke, and condiments questions. I don't much care for mayonnaise, but at least it's better than Miracle Whip.
2012-07-06 10:59:44 PM  
I did better than I thought I would. Though I missed the one that asked to name the Kardashian sisters by birth date.
2012-07-06 11:00:08 PM  
70% - where's my Green Card?
2012-07-06 11:00:43 PM  
i used to make big macs and got that question wrong. FAIL FAILURE FAIL
2012-07-06 11:01:11 PM  
2012-07-06 11:01:21 PM  
CSM really cleaned up with all those clicks...83%...mayonnaise? We're all fat.
2012-07-06 11:01:23 PM  
No tomatoes on a Big Mac? WHAT IS THIS HERESY??!!!??!??11?
2012-07-06 11:01:42 PM  
I got 83%. I had never heard of Bogie being part of the rat pack. I suspect that mayo is NOT more popular than salsa because they were counting Miracle Whip and its house brand knock-offs as mayo. They aren't. I didn't remember that Holden Caulfield was in the nut house. I did not correctly add fourscore and seven.
2012-07-06 11:02:16 PM  
87%...I can't farking believe I forgot the farking Big Mac song.

/never read CITR
//Bogart? Really?
2012-07-06 11:02:53 PM  
A 64 page slideshow/quiz which loads incredibly slow due to script ads, am I American for saying "fark this"?
2012-07-06 11:03:31 PM  
Can any Philadelphians confirm the Cheese Whiz? I'm pretty sure that provolone is still considered a true cheesesteak, yes?
2012-07-06 11:03:32 PM  

/mayonnaise? really?
//"too long" is a valid answer
///farked up the sports and food questions
2012-07-06 11:03:35 PM  
22/23 didnt know where coke was invented. Should get extra points for being duped into a 46 page slideshow
2012-07-06 11:04:11 PM  
Btw, I'm 76% American.
2012-07-06 11:04:57 PM  
Not American.

Some interesting questions. When I saw the Rat Pack answer I smacked my head. I knew that one at one time.
2012-07-06 11:05:41 PM  
48% - Hey, I'm from the Bay Area, fark the rest of the country.
2012-07-06 11:06:00 PM  
Meh, "A Separate Peace" is far more quintessentially American than "Catcher in the Rye" anyway.
2012-07-06 11:06:00 PM  
mayonnaise. of course it is.

/sung the big mac song, too
2012-07-06 11:06:41 PM  
78%. I'm embarrassed by all the useless crap I know.

/two all beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onions on a sesame seed bun
2012-07-06 11:07:03 PM  
You answered 16 of 23 questions correctly for a total score of 70%.

Pretty good for a Canadian. Got a bunch wrong: rat pack, mayo, Catcher in the Rye (trick question!), football...
I thought I was going to nail that quiz. Isn't that an American trait?
2012-07-06 11:07:10 PM  

Mayonnaise my butt.

/no, its an expression.. get that away from my butt!
2012-07-06 11:07:56 PM  

I sound fat: 20/23

Mayonnaise my butt.

/no, its an expression.. get that away from my butt! requested it
2012-07-06 11:08:04 PM  
87% biatches... although, can I just say, fark "Free Bird" in the ear?
2012-07-06 11:08:53 PM  
Rat Pack, cheese steak, and all the sports questions farked me up. I mean do you really have to give a shiat about baseball or football to be an American?

And cheese whiz for cheese steak? Farking disgusting!
2012-07-06 11:09:23 PM  
Yeah, I really don't give a shiat what Christian Science Monitor thinks it can tell about me.
2012-07-06 11:09:28 PM  
74%, and a lot of those questions are sports trivia.

Oh, and I'm decidedly not American.

Now you try a quiz based on the number of beaver pelts collected per smoking hour for a voyageur.
2012-07-06 11:09:33 PM  
78% (18 of 23). Do I get honourary citizenship?

/yeah, yeah. I spelled it with a "u".
2012-07-06 11:09:47 PM  
78%. The sports questions killed me.
2012-07-06 11:10:30 PM  
I quit halfway through because I got tired of seeing a slack-jawed youth in the corner of my eye.
2012-07-06 11:11:00 PM  

verbal_jizm: 87%, and I'm the libbiest libby to ever lib. Wonder how the Thrilla' From Wassilla would do.

Also scored 87% and yes, would love to see what score would Palin get.

cretinbob: 87%. That was actually a fun one

This. There were a couple that actually challenged me because either I didn't know or I wasn't aware of it.
2012-07-06 11:11:04 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: /prints out quiz
//puts into toaster

You must have wished the toaster to be happy too.
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