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(Yahoo)   10 Noteworthy things that 'Star Wars' can teach us about dating, will be lost on Star Wars fans   (shine.yahoo.com) divider line 116
    More: Misc, Star Wars, dating  
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12944 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jul 2012 at 5:13 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-06 01:58:48 PM
upload.wikimedia.org

Once you go black, you'll never go back?
 
2012-07-06 02:10:33 PM
11. Mon Calamarians are notoriously sexy
 
2012-07-06 02:15:29 PM
That was really, truly, breath-takingly stupid.
 
2012-07-06 02:39:30 PM

Pocket Ninja: That was really, truly, breath-takingly stupid.



Came here to say this.

It reads like a drunken conversation that you and your friends will immediately realize is idiotic and boring. You feel embarrassed for each other and quickly move on to something else.
 
2012-07-06 02:48:14 PM
"PUT THAT THING AWAY OR YOU'RE GONNA GET US ALL KILLED!"
 
2012-07-06 02:49:34 PM
"That's no moon."
 
2012-07-06 02:52:30 PM
"Size matters not."
 
2012-07-06 02:56:00 PM
Be a self-assured, cocky jerk and the women will go crazy for you.

It absolutely works. Not for all women, but enough of them.
 
2012-07-06 02:58:12 PM
You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought!
 
2012-07-06 03:07:13 PM
"Wedge, pull out! You're not doing any good back there!"
 
2012-07-06 03:18:23 PM

Lando Lincoln: Be a self-assured, cocky jerk and the women will go crazy for you.


If you're referring to Han and Leia, she was the farking biatch in that relationship. At least in the first two movies.
 
2012-07-06 03:22:12 PM

FloydA: You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought!


Sybarite: "Wedge, pull out! You're not doing any good back there!"


Winner winner, chicken dinner.

You guys both win.
 
2012-07-06 03:30:59 PM
Admit it, Yahoo: You just saw us mention Star Wars sex quotes in the horrible men's sexual advice thread the other day and decided to throw this together, didn't you?
 
2012-07-06 03:44:20 PM
Why Star Wars Fans Have Uncomfortable Sex Lives: A Play in One Act


F: "Into the garbage chute, flyboy!"

M: "It's no good! I can't maneuver!"

F: "Would it help if I got out and pushed?!"

M: "Ungh! And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!"

F: "Get in there, you big furry oaf! I don't care what you smell! "

M: "We're starting for the target shaft now!"

F: "You have controlled your fear! Now, unleash your anger!"

M: "ARRWOOOGH!"

F: "Now, his failure is complete."

M: "...I am your father!"
 
2012-07-06 05:07:54 PM
11. Sand is coarse and rough and irritating and gets everywhere.
 
2012-07-06 05:14:45 PM
If some chick tells me that she loves me, my response has always been "I know".
 
2012-07-06 05:17:19 PM

Sybarite: "Wedge, pull out! You're not doing any good back there!"


aim for the exhaust port right below the main port

/but you're only going to hit it if you're a Jedi master
 
2012-07-06 05:18:53 PM
"Hold her like you did by the lake on Naboo" mysteriously absent.
 
2012-07-06 05:20:15 PM
Bravo submitter you win one free internets, pick it up from Drew
A LONG TIME AGO
IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY...


/george lucas and steven spielburg are huge tools
//and carrie fisher was hotter in 'The Blues Brothers'
 
2012-07-06 05:20:47 PM
I always let her choke my jabba.

/I got nothin.
 
2012-07-06 05:21:04 PM

Voiceofreason01: Sybarite: "Wedge, pull out! You're not doing any good back there!"

aim for the exhaust port right below the main port

/but you're only going to hit it if you're a Jedi master


I always prefer the exhaust port over the main port. And I like to do it with the deflector shield down.

/Don't want my photon torpedoes to bounce back at me, you know.
 
2012-07-06 05:22:55 PM

Pocket Ninja: That was really, truly, breath-takingly stupid.


Also came to say this. Uberlame.
 
2012-07-06 05:25:15 PM
Wow, that was weak, even for the Internets.
 
2012-07-06 05:25:55 PM
images.wikia.com
What?! Nothing about Trap Detection?
NTTIAWWT
 
2012-07-06 05:25:57 PM
buttsecks!!!
/got nothing...
 
2012-07-06 05:26:05 PM
Half-witted scruffy looking nerf herders get all the girls?
 
2012-07-06 05:26:22 PM

Sybarite: "Wedge, pull out! You're not doing any good back there!"


a new keyboard, you owe me
 
2012-07-06 05:27:40 PM
She looks like a hutt. Cover me, I'm going in!
 
2012-07-06 05:28:09 PM
6. Be like Han Solo: promise her you won't shoot first. (Get it?!)

Ugh.
 
2012-07-06 05:29:02 PM
This thread will turn out to be better written and more entertaining than the article. Exponentially.
 
2012-07-06 05:31:17 PM
apachevoyeur


This thread will turn out to be better written and more entertaining than the article. Exponentially.


Friday afternoon, I think everybody is phoning it in so it could be a close one.
 
2012-07-06 05:31:31 PM
Your princess might wind up looking like this.

i.huffpost.com
 
2012-07-06 05:31:41 PM
I see your schwartz is as big as mine.
 
2012-07-06 05:31:43 PM
FTFA 3. If your girlfriend says "I love you," and you simply respond with a smug "I know," then you honestly deserve to be frozen in carbonite.

I prefer Peter's response: "fark off"

static.zoovy.com
 
2012-07-06 05:31:44 PM
1. Never, EVER stick your dick in a Sarlacc Pit.

/Also, when did Han ever promise not to shoot first? Han shoots first, last, or any damn time he pleases.
 
2012-07-06 05:32:39 PM
"Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?"

Here, I can save us some time:
Link

Star Wars / A New Hope
10. "Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!"
9. "Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
8. "Put that thing away before you get us all killed."
7. "You've got something jammed in here real good."
6. "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?"
5. "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
4. "Sorry about the mess..."
3. "Look at the size of that thing!"
2. "Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!"
1. "She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid."

The Empire Strikes Back
10. "I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me."
9. "Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?"
8. "There's an awful lot of moisture in here."
7. "But now we must eat. Cum, good food, cumm..."
6. "That's okay, I'd like to keep it on manual control for a while."
5. "Hurry up, golden-rod..."
4. "I must've hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh kid?"
3. "Possible he came in through the south entrance."
2. "And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!"
1. "Control, control! You must learn control!"

Return of the Jedi
10. "Hey, point that thing someplace else."
9. "I look forward to completing your training. In time you will call me master."
8. "I never knew I had it in me."
7. "There is good in him, I've felt it."
6. "Grab me, Chewie. I'm slipping -- hold on. Grab it, almost... you almost got it. Gently now, all right, easy, easy, hold me Chewie."
5. "Hey, Luke, thanks for coming after me -- now I owe you one."
4. "Back door, huh? Good idea!"
3. "She's gonna blow!"
2. "I think you'll fit in nicely."
1. "Rise, my friend."

But of course, one of the best is - "Wedge! Pull out! You're not doing any good back there!"

And another bonus:

Vader: "My son is with them."
Emperor: "Are you sure?"
Vader: "I have... felt him... my master"
Emperor: "...strange that I have not..."
 
2012-07-06 05:33:07 PM
"I used to bullseye womp rats in my T-16 back home."
 
2012-07-06 05:34:17 PM

uncleacid: Your princess might wind up looking like this.

[i.huffpost.com image 570x277]


Not bad for 800 years old.
 
2012-07-06 05:34:33 PM
Make sure your wingman is hairier than you. He should also be hairier than your date.

Also, make sure you have you a sweet ride. You know, something that can make the Kessel Run in a shorter distance than most others.
 
2012-07-06 05:37:48 PM
Pretty lame, but is it bad that I get all the references?rewardslink.info
 
2012-07-06 05:39:00 PM
How am I supposed to read these "articles" where every other sentence is a big bold link to some other page? Was the person who wrote this abortion of a webpage off their ADD meds when they hacked this monstrosity together?
 
2012-07-06 05:39:05 PM
1. Check your lineage. Make sure you're not siblings.

2. When it comes to going in for the kiss: it's do or do not, there is no try.

3. If your girlfriend says "I love you," and you simply respond with a smug "I know," then you honestly deserve to be frozen in carbonite.

4. Annoying nicknames, like "Princess" and "Little Champy," are a completely viable and effective way to flirt.

5. Have a bad feeling about this (date/relationship/drunken inclination to hook up with someone)? Then it's probably not a good idea.

6. Be like Han Solo: promise her you won't shoot first. (Get it?!)

7. How you can tell a first date is going well: "Wonderful girl. Either I'm going to kill you or I'm beginning to like you."

8. Always choose a good wingman to help you steer clear of danger, avoid getting shot down, and generally make sure you're striking back, not out.

9. No one, not even a princess, is out of your league if you're cocky enough.

10. You can tell whether a person is within your dating age range based on whether or not they like ewoks. [Crowd-sourced entirely from the world's cleverest and most ardent Star Wars fans.]


www4.picturepush.com
 
2012-07-06 05:39:32 PM
"Great, kid. Don't get cocky"
 
2012-07-06 05:40:01 PM
upload.wikimedia.org

/what?!
 
2012-07-06 05:40:30 PM
Make sure the person you're about to kiss isn't actually your sister?
 
2012-07-06 05:41:45 PM

NaziKamikaze: /Also, when did Han ever promise not to shoot first? Han shoots first, last, or any damn time he pleases.


Maybe it should be, "If you shoot first, edit the story afterwards to make it seem like you didn't".
 
2012-07-06 05:41:58 PM
not news and all that, but jesus that was hard to read.

Also, paraphrasing in quotations is confusing.

7. How you can tell a first date is going well: "Wonderful girl. Either I'm going to kill you or I'm beginning to like you."

I'm too lazy to fix it.
 
2012-07-06 05:42:19 PM
FTFA:

Plus: The Best Sex Position If You're Tired

This showed up at the end of question one. My brain parsed it as "The Best Red Sox Position if you're tired". I guess I should cut back on the beer.

/or the baseball.
 
2012-07-06 05:44:21 PM

Pocket Ninja: That was really, truly, breath-takingly stupid.


If Pocket Ninja says this instead of a brilliantly written paragraph of... what PN does, you know something's up.
 
2012-07-06 05:44:48 PM
"Live long and prosper"
 
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