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(The Onion)   "Each morning before I leave for work, I look in the mirror, take a deep breath, and think to myself, 'Rosemary, you could very well find Keith Richards' dead body today"   (theonion.com) divider line 14
    More: Satire, Keith Richards, Rosemary Velasquez, charlie watts, shouting matches, morning, Rolling Stones  
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3109 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 06 Jul 2012 at 11:34 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



14 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-07-06 11:14:31 AM
img.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-06 11:46:28 AM
Passable. I don't know that it really counts as satire, but humorous enough.
 
2012-07-06 01:28:00 PM
Keep looking, Rosemary. It's in there somewhere. Maybe behind the couch.
 
2012-07-06 01:30:54 PM
I keep telling you people, Keith Richards is a lich. You have to destroy his phylactery to truly kill him. But why would you want to?
 
2012-07-06 02:00:03 PM
Not too shabby. 7/10
 
2012-07-06 02:42:43 PM
I've felt like The Onion has sharply dropped off in the last few months. I assume a really good writer left, or maybe it's just hard to be funny in the summer.

This is a pretty solid though. I laughed out loud at the headline, and chuckled a couple of times during the article.
 
JFC
2012-07-06 02:53:32 PM
You know what the best part of her day is? For about ten seconds, from when she pulls up to the curb and when she gets to his door, 'cause she thinks, maybe she'll get up there and she'll knock on the door and he won't be there. No goodbye. No see you later. No nothing.
 
2012-07-06 03:18:40 PM
Wow - the cutting edge of the Onion...take that iconic millionaire with a checkerd past and probable drug abuse issues. Whats next? Airline peanuts hard to open? Old lady drives car into house?
 
2012-07-06 05:14:20 PM

JFC: You know what the best part of her day is? For about ten seconds, from when she pulls up to the curb and when she gets to his door, 'cause she thinks, maybe she'll get up there and she'll knock on the door and he won't be there. No goodbye. No see you later. No nothing.


I got 'er number. How do you like them apples?

FTFH: mirror
lh5.googleusercontent.com
pops to thread 7151981
-->
 
2012-07-06 08:42:28 PM
Spot on. There's hope for The Onion yet.
 
2012-07-06 10:01:59 PM
That's the funniest thing I've seen from The Onion in a while.
 
2012-07-08 10:54:00 PM
Keith cannot be killed by conventional weaponry
 
2012-07-09 12:13:26 AM

CaptainBeer: Keith cannot be killed by conventional weaponry


*Nodding* A remarkable trait he shares with both Cher and Abe Vigoda.
 
2012-07-09 01:22:53 PM
Folks, that's how you write satire.
 
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