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(The Consumerist)   Best Buy's Geek Squad to become Unemployment Squad   (consumerist.com) divider line 53
    More: Obvious, Geek Squad, Best Buy, layoffs, unemployment  
•       •       •

30825 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jul 2012 at 11:47 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-07-06 11:30:41 AM
42 votes:
Yeah, but they've got high-end IT skills -- hardware assembly, network repair, software upgrade and maintenance. Exactly the sort of expertise that's still in demand. It probably wouldn't take much more training or certification for many of them to enter the very lucrative industry of video game design, in fact, since many of them actually worked with all three major gaming systems within the Best Buy stores. A programmer who's able to seamlessly move between designing on the Wii, the PS3, *and* the XBox? Dude, can you say golden ticket? Yeah, once word gets out that there are lots of former Geek Squad employees available on the market, you'll see the big tech and gaming firms tripping over themselves to snap them up.
2012-07-06 11:49:22 AM
15 votes:

Pocket Ninja: Yeah, but they've got high-end IT skills -- hardware assembly, network repair, software upgrade and maintenance. Exactly the sort of expertise that's still in demand. It probably wouldn't take much more training or certification for many of them to enter the very lucrative industry of video game design, in fact, since many of them actually worked with all three major gaming systems within the Best Buy stores. A programmer who's able to seamlessly move between designing on the Wii, the PS3, *and* the XBox? Dude, can you say golden ticket? Yeah, once word gets out that there are lots of former Geek Squad employees available on the market, you'll see the big tech and gaming firms tripping over themselves to snap them up.


Can I buy some pot from you?
2012-07-06 11:51:01 AM
9 votes:

Pocket Ninja: Yeah, but they've got high-end IT skills -- hardware assembly, network repair, software upgrade and maintenance. Exactly the sort of expertise that's still in demand. It probably wouldn't take much more training or certification for many of them to enter the very lucrative industry of video game design, in fact, since many of them actually worked with all three major gaming systems within the Best Buy stores. A programmer who's able to seamlessly move between designing on the Wii, the PS3, *and* the XBox? Dude, can you say golden ticket? Yeah, once word gets out that there are lots of former Geek Squad employees available on the market, you'll see the big tech and gaming firms tripping over themselves to snap them up.


You forgot to mention their good looks, charming disposition and mad social skills.
2012-07-06 11:51:01 AM
5 votes:
Oh no, now who will run a virus scan on my computer or use compressed air to clean inside of it?
2012-07-06 12:02:16 PM
4 votes:
Am I the only one trembling at the thought of a conference call of "several thousand people".

The collective sound of breathing must have been like the screams of Cthulhu..
2012-07-06 12:01:03 PM
4 votes:

elvindeath: I can't understand why Best Buy would be in trouble. Doesn't everyone enjoy paying 3 times more than they have to for a product ?


But if BestBuy goes under, where will I buy my Monster Cables?
2012-07-06 11:54:27 AM
4 votes:
Basically, why do I need help with my computer shopping when all I need to do is buy a Mac?
2012-07-06 12:01:08 PM
3 votes:
[ Open on interior, computer store ]

Customer: I run a small business out of my home, and I'm looking for a personal computer with a Pentium Processor.

Leon: Well, this computer over here really kicks ass. So, will that be cash or charge?

Customer: Th-this is nice, but it doesn't have a Pentium Processor.

Leon: No, but you got to ask yourself, in 1997, who really needs one of those Pa-sonium Pa-cess-isers?

Customer: Pentium Processors. And, yes, I do.

Leon: Yeah, but this computer isboss! [ mumbles ]

Customer: It may be boss, but I need a Pentium Processor. Do you even know what one is?

Leon: Well.. I-I worked in this store since it was an Orange Julius, so.. no, I don't..

Customer: Well.. can I talk to someone who does know?

Leon: Sure, I'll get someone.. [ he walks to a back room, then resurfaces a moment later ] No one knows.

Customer: No one in the store knows what a Pentium Processor is??

Leon: No, no. As a matter of fact, I asked a lot of people. In fact, Doug the manager told me that you're probably a crazy street person coming off the street, just talking gibberish words.

Customer: Pentium Processor isn't gibberish! Anyone who works in a computer store should know that!

Leon: Are you calling Doug, my manager, a liar?

Customer: This.. this is ridiculous!

Leon: I'll tell you what is ridiculous. I'll tell you - you know, in this day and age, for a crazy guy to come in this store asking for a Kryptonite Processor-izer.

Wallace: [ entering the scene ] I'm sorry.. is there a problem here?

Customer: Yes, there is. Are you Doug, the manager?

Wallace: Uh, there's no Doug working here. I'm Wallace.

Customer: [ confused ] Okay, well.. this guy told me you don't have Pentium Processors.

Wallace: [ pointing forward ] Well, here's one right here.

Customer: [ relieved ] Thank you!

Wallace: Sure. Pleasure to help. You got this one there, Leon?

Leon: No problem, Doug! [ Wallace exits to back of store ]

Customer: His name's Wallace!

Leon: No, I forget sometimes.. you see, my old manager at the Orange Julius is named Doug, and, uh.. anyway, I think I should tell you, the.. uh.. computer you're looking at is for gays.

Customer: What?!

Leon: Gays, gays, gays, gays.. [ looking around the store ] You know what you want? You want one of these computers over here where the food comes out of, you know? It's right here.. [ points to a vending machine ] This is a "Star Trek" computer..

Customer: That's.. that's a vending machine..

Leon: No, no, no.. it's a very tricky computer. If you push A-1, these chips come out like that. But you have to be very smart to operate it, because.. uh.. you have to be kind of like Captain Clark.

Customer: You mean, Captain Kirk.

Leon: [ thinking about it ] Clark. Captain Clark. [ pause ] Do you want an Orange Julius?

Customer: [ upset, looking around frantically ] Can we get Wallace back in here?!

Wallace: [ walking back in ] There you are! Is everything alright?

Leon: [ smiling, pointing to vending machine ] He wants to buy this computer.

Wallace: I'm sorry, Sir. That's not a computer, that's a vending machine.

Customer: I don't want to buy the vending machine.

Leon: Aw, but, come on, can't we make him a special deal, or something? This is a good one..

Wallace: Well.. I guess we can call the manufacturer..

Customer: [ furious ] No! I don't want to buy that!

Wallace: I'm terribly sorry, Sir. Was there a problem with this computer here? [ acknowledges the one he pointed out earlier ]

Customer: He said it was for gays!

Wallace: [ thinking how to remedy the situation ] You're doing a great job, Leon! [ pulls customer aside, as Leon exits to back room ] Can I talk to you over here for a second, Sir?

Customer: What is this guy's problem?

Wallace: Look.. uh.. that's Leon. He's a good guy. He used to work at the Orange Julius that was here before..

Customer: Yeah.. he told me..

Wallace: Well, when they closed the Orange Julius, he wouldn't leave. So, the day we moved in, we found him sleeping in the back on the floor. He stood up with a cup of nails and said, "Uh, do you want to buy a cup of Orange Julius?"

Customer: [ shocked ] Oh, my God..

Wallace: Yeah.. so, just do the guy a favor - buy the vending machine.

Customer: What?! No! I'm not..

Wallace: Look, it's not that much money. It's, like, $3,900.

Leon: [ walking back in ] Doug? Doug? I just got the paperwork started for this Star Trek Potato Chip machine computer..

Wallace: [ encouraging ] Alright! Good job, Leon! Will that be cash or charge, sir?

Customer: [ angry ] I'm not buying the vending machine!

Leon: Look, Mister, you seem nice, but.. the truth is, I don't, I don't got much, you know? [ piano music over background ] A couple years ago.. I was working.. at Julius, and I was a bigshot! I really was. But then they shut us down.. and I tried to open my own Orange Julius, but everyone got sick, really sick, and some died and everything. But.. I don't know.. maybe I'm just not a lucky guy.. and, and, and, and.. maybe, a guy like me doesn't deserve anything like that..

Customer: No, Leon. You're a wonderful man. With a big heart. And I think today's your lucky day. Because, I'm Samuel K. Julius, grandson of the founder of Orange Julius.

Leon: [ excited ] YOU ARE?!!

Customer: Yes, I am. And I think you're just the man to head up our brand new European division. How does that sound, Leon? Would you like to sell Orange Juliuses in Germany?

Leon: WOULD I EVER!! [ hugs customer ]

[ cut to Leon working counter of Orange Julius in Germany ]

Leon: [ Says "Welcome to Orange Julius" in German ] It's a dream come true!!
2012-07-06 11:58:31 AM
3 votes:
Well that's just great. Here I am with $125 and a PS3 I haven't plugged in yet. Now what am I supposed to do?
2012-07-06 04:04:53 PM
2 votes:

BHShaman: Gunderson:
This isn't about jobs....This is about kittens!

Do you have the original unshopped?


www.celebrityvalues.com
2012-07-06 01:16:36 PM
2 votes:
My CSB:

The place I used to work for had to repair a Best Buy Vice President's PC after one of those idiot Geek Squad guys somehow managed to break the on-board video connector on the machine's motherboard.

Turns out the PC had died and the Geek Squad was supposed to install a new mobo. The new mobo was a different model than the old and the idiot was trying to use the cover plate from the previous board, which had the video cut out in a different place. I still to this day can't figure out how that guy could not see the problem.
2012-07-06 12:56:45 PM
2 votes:

Gunderson: Don't you people look at the big picture....Now who is going to leak all those pics and WMV's from customers hard drives onto the internet.

[earsucker.com image 450x325]

This isn't about jobs....This is about kittens!


img835.imageshack.us

Fixed that for you.
2012-07-06 12:55:48 PM
2 votes:
Where will Devry graduates work now? Does Starbucks take unaccredited graduates?
2012-07-06 12:46:53 PM
2 votes:

espiaboricua: 84Charlie: Pocket Ninja: Yeah, but they've got high-end IT skills -- hardware assembly, network repair, software upgrade and maintenance. Exactly the sort of expertise that's still in demand. It probably wouldn't take much more training or certification for many of them to enter the very lucrative industry of video game design, in fact, since many of them actually worked with all three major gaming systems within the Best Buy stores. A programmer who's able to seamlessly move between designing on the Wii, the PS3, *and* the XBox? Dude, can you say golden ticket? Yeah, once word gets out that there are lots of former Geek Squad employees available on the market, you'll see the big tech and gaming firms tripping over themselves to snap them up.

Can I buy some pot from you?

Wait. He needs pot to do this? I thought this was his "default setting" O_o


I just assumed it was pot, but I could be totally wrong. PN comes up with some epic screeds and I want to know his secret. If its not pot, then it could be buffalo sweat, or koala bear toenails, or smoked underwing feathersfrom an unlaiden European swallow, BUT I MUST KNOW!!!!
2012-07-06 12:43:19 PM
2 votes:
Meh, buy a Mac and be done with tech support.

Ducks, logs off, puts MBP in case, unplugs adapter, turns out lights, locks doors, draws shades and hides under waterbed
2012-07-06 12:09:55 PM
2 votes:

Pocket Ninja: Yeah, but they've got high-end IT skills -- hardware assembly, network repair, software upgrade and maintenance. Exactly the sort of expertise that's still in demand. It probably wouldn't take much more training or certification for many of them to enter the very lucrative industry of video game design, in fact, since many of them actually worked with all three major gaming systems within the Best Buy stores. A programmer who's able to seamlessly move between designing on the Wii, the PS3, *and* the XBox? Dude, can you say golden ticket? Yeah, once word gets out that there are lots of former Geek Squad employees available on the market, you'll see the big tech and gaming firms tripping over themselves to snap them up.


In addition, these employees worked in an environment rich with marketing and sales strategies. The combination of deep technical skills and strong understanding of sales and marketing will provide the high tech industry with an abundance of of technical sales professionals and product managers.
2012-07-06 12:07:27 PM
2 votes:

Revanche: 84Charlie: Pocket Ninja: Yeah, but they've got high-end IT skills -- hardware assembly, network repair, software upgrade and maintenance. Exactly the sort of expertise that's still in demand. It probably wouldn't take much more training or certification for many of them to enter the very lucrative industry of video game design, in fact, since many of them actually worked with all three major gaming systems within the Best Buy stores. A programmer who's able to seamlessly move between designing on the Wii, the PS3, *and* the XBox? Dude, can you say golden ticket? Yeah, once word gets out that there are lots of former Geek Squad employees available on the market, you'll see the big tech and gaming firms tripping over themselves to snap them up.

Can I buy some pot from you?

No shiat.

He takes the assumption that the average Geek actually has any training before or while working with the Squad and takes it to some god-forsaken level.


This is proof that you can't go too over-the-top with trolling. Hell, most of us wouldn't even consider le ninja de la poche to be a troll, but rather satire or a parody. Because we don't believe anyone would possibly bite. Yet, here we are.
2012-07-06 12:07:04 PM
2 votes:
Who will discover my child porn and steal my personal pics/music/files from my computer now?
2012-07-06 12:01:07 PM
2 votes:
Everyone in this thread knows more than anyone on the geek squad.
2012-07-06 11:57:34 AM
2 votes:

Thunderpipes: But Obama said the private sector is fine. I don't understand. We just added a gigantic 80,000 jobs too. Recovery!


How can you sleep with Obama staring down on you trying to ruin your life all the time?
2012-07-06 11:55:28 AM
2 votes:

Thunderpipes: But Obama said the private sector is fine.


How are the people that run the private sector doing? Probably sweating their brows over all the regulations and taxes that are preventing them from hiring more people amirite?
2012-07-06 11:52:00 AM
2 votes:
Geek squad hate thread?!?!

Joyous Friday!
s3.tinypic.com
"Go!"
2012-07-06 05:56:33 PM
1 votes:
None of this surprises me. Best Buy opened around the time of the UK riots in a giant fanfare of sod all. The store was there, fully loaded, ready to loot and the marketing was so poor that not one person knew enough about the place to think it was worth smashing up and stealing from.

IIRC they closed their UK operations very early this year.
2012-07-06 04:02:42 PM
1 votes:

AverageAmericanGuy: Basically, why do I need help with my computer shopping when all I need to do is buy a Mac?


With that in mind:

Left over right.
And under and pull
Make a little loop
Now make another
One loop goes over and under the other.
2012-07-06 02:25:17 PM
1 votes:
Is this one still available?

img401.imageshack.us
2012-07-06 01:17:54 PM
1 votes:
I went to Best Buy once to buy a power supply for my laptop, and the dude didn't know the difference between a Watt and a Volt.

Fail. . . .
2012-07-06 01:05:19 PM
1 votes:

84Charlie: Pocket Ninja: Yeah, but they've got high-end IT skills -- hardware assembly, network repair, software upgrade and maintenance. Exactly the sort of expertise that's still in demand. It probably wouldn't take much more training or certification for many of them to enter the very lucrative industry of video game design, in fact, since many of them actually worked with all three major gaming systems within the Best Buy stores. A programmer who's able to seamlessly move between designing on the Wii, the PS3, *and* the XBox? Dude, can you say golden ticket? Yeah, once word gets out that there are lots of former Geek Squad employees available on the market, you'll see the big tech and gaming firms tripping over themselves to snap them up.

Can I buy some pot $100 HDMI cables from you?


FTFM.
2012-07-06 12:51:56 PM
1 votes:
From the article...

"Best Buy had been trying to position itself as a store that provided the one thing its online competitors couldn't -- knowledgeable, tech-savvy employees that can deal with customers on a face-to-face basis"

I didn't know how to react, to laugh, to cry, to have a puzzled look on my face... then I read Pocket Ninja's post and all was right with the universe again.
2012-07-06 12:51:11 PM
1 votes:
I worked at best buy in college---good pay (min wage was 5.25 in 2001 and we were getting 8.50) but I could only handle 3 months of hocking subscriptions to MSN or service plans with the threat that I would be fired if I didn't. Recently, I went to a best buy to look at and actually play around with a TV i wanted to buy. As I was adjusting the controls and settings, a couple in the TV section asked me what I was doing. As I was explaining how stores turn the lights down and boost the screen settings to get you to look and say WOW and to avoind the service plan they offer because I used to work at a best buy and the warranty was more of a hassle than anything, a manager asked me to leave. The couple then said "that guy you're asking to leave helped us more than anyone because we couldn't find anyone TO help us"

CSB.
2012-07-06 12:49:08 PM
1 votes:
Geek Squad once offered to install a hard drive for me for $50.
It was an external USB hard drive.

/true story
2012-07-06 12:48:07 PM
1 votes:

Thunderpipes: But Obama said the private sector is fine. I don't understand. We just added a gigantic 80,000 jobs too. Recovery!


Yeah, it's Obamas fault that Best Buy sucks.

Vote Romney if you like Best Buy.
2012-07-06 12:45:18 PM
1 votes:
Bah, the only thing Best Buy was good for was installing that intoxilizer thingie on my car that the judge said I had to have. I do give them points for not being judgemental about it.
2012-07-06 12:34:46 PM
1 votes:

Just another Heartland Weirdass: Everyone in this thread knows more than anyone on the geek squad.


That bar is lower than a snake's belly.
2012-07-06 12:33:42 PM
1 votes:

Jument: NephilimNexus: And good riddance! Like the world needs people who charge $50 to spend literally ten seconds installing a RAM chip.

This is a bit pedantic but:

a) These "people" don't charge $50. BestBuy does. I imagine "these people" get paid a fraction of that. They're just working schleps like you and me.
b) You don't buy RAM in "chips", at least not for PCs.


Hey, I remember installing RAM chips in PCs

/My foreyard; remove thyself from it.
2012-07-06 12:33:26 PM
1 votes:
man, the death throes on this one are painful
2012-07-06 12:31:04 PM
1 votes:
I was looking for an extra paycheck a few years back before I got my real job. The local Best Buy was hiring for a part-time wireless associate. I got the "why should we hire you?" question. I told them point blank that everyone else they will interview will not know more about cell phones than me. iOS, Android, Mango...even freaken Symbian. From previous experience, I even already knew a lot about the Best Buy POS system.

And of course, I wasn't hired. Makes sense.
2012-07-06 12:25:04 PM
1 votes:
Who will I pay $100 to run Norton Antivirus on my computer now??

/could be worse. They could be the Teen Girl Squad.
2012-07-06 12:24:34 PM
1 votes:
This is a good thing. 650 lazy, unmotivated, so-called tech workers are now free to spend 24 hours a day in mom's basement. Who will pay for the Cheetos and Mountain Dew?
2012-07-06 12:23:23 PM
1 votes:
Well......bye.
2012-07-06 12:15:10 PM
1 votes:

Purdue_Pete: You laugh now just wait until you need tech support...


No one ever laughs watching that show.
2012-07-06 12:14:17 PM
1 votes:
You laugh now just wait until you need tech support...


dl.maximumpc.com
2012-07-06 12:13:14 PM
1 votes:
Don't you people look at the big picture....Now who is going to leak all those pics and WMV's from customers hard drives onto the internet.

earsucker.com


This isn't about jobs....This is about kittens!
2012-07-06 12:10:04 PM
1 votes:

Over_Zealously_Apathetic: Thunderpipes: But Obama said the private sector is fine. I don't understand. We just added a gigantic 80,000 jobs too. Recovery!

How can you sleep with Obama staring down on you trying to ruin your life all the time?


He can't sleep; Obama would get him!!

/ that or he's a dirty, dirty troll
2012-07-06 12:05:52 PM
1 votes:
When the 14 year old down the street both exceeds your staff in technical proficiency and charges less, your days are numbered.
2012-07-06 12:04:08 PM
1 votes:
Thunderpipes

But Obama said the private sector is fine. I don't understand. We just added a gigantic 80,000 jobs too. Recovery!


Pretty good troll, totally void of any real intillectual thinking by associating the poor business model of a shiatty retail stores downfall to the current Democratic president.

Why don't your throw RIM in there also?

9/10
2012-07-06 12:03:24 PM
1 votes:
Oh no! A company with thousands and thousands of employees is laying off a few hundred! That's not at all a totally normal and common occurence!
2012-07-06 12:01:17 PM
1 votes:

Pocket Ninja: Yeah, but they've got high-end IT skills -- hardware assembly, network repair, software upgrade and maintenance. Exactly the sort of expertise that's still in demand. It probably wouldn't take much more training or certification for many of them to enter the very lucrative industry of video game design, in fact, since many of them actually worked with all three major gaming systems within the Best Buy stores. A programmer who's able to seamlessly move between designing on the Wii, the PS3, *and* the XBox? Dude, can you say golden ticket? Yeah, once word gets out that there are lots of former Geek Squad employees available on the market, you'll see the big tech and gaming firms tripping over themselves to snap them up.


Where can I purchase tickets to hear the rest of your material? ;-)
2012-07-06 11:58:37 AM
1 votes:

84Charlie: Pocket Ninja: Yeah, but they've got high-end IT skills -- hardware assembly, network repair, software upgrade and maintenance. Exactly the sort of expertise that's still in demand. It probably wouldn't take much more training or certification for many of them to enter the very lucrative industry of video game design, in fact, since many of them actually worked with all three major gaming systems within the Best Buy stores. A programmer who's able to seamlessly move between designing on the Wii, the PS3, *and* the XBox? Dude, can you say golden ticket? Yeah, once word gets out that there are lots of former Geek Squad employees available on the market, you'll see the big tech and gaming firms tripping over themselves to snap them up.

Can I buy some pot from you?


No shiat.

He takes the assumption that the average Geek actually has any training before or while working with the Squad and takes it to some god-forsaken level.
2012-07-06 11:55:15 AM
1 votes:
Oh "geek squad"; your incompetence and general surlyness knows no bounds. If they were really that good; they wouldn't have jobs at best buy working for minimum wage. My bet has always been; high school drop outs that payed attention the day that the computer/multimedia teacher showed them how to clean out the recycle bin.

/ that is all
2012-07-06 11:55:07 AM
1 votes:
Well, I guess this means I'll do what I always do.

This article is so irrelevant. If you didn't see THIS coming, you were a fool.

demotivated.mediarift.com
2012-07-06 11:53:20 AM
1 votes:
But Obama said the private sector is fine. I don't understand. We just added a gigantic 80,000 jobs too. Recovery!
2012-07-06 11:52:05 AM
1 votes:
I blame system restore.
2012-07-06 11:48:29 AM
1 votes:
Good. F*ck Best Buy.
 
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