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(Daily Mail)   Woman puts her 'slightly used' soul on eBay for $2,000   (dailymail.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Strange, eBay, United States at the Olympics, U.S. Olympic, car accidents  
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10940 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jul 2012 at 8:42 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



127 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2012-07-06 08:43:20 AM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-07-06 08:43:37 AM  
Better than her slightly used vag.
 
2012-07-06 08:44:26 AM  
Simpsons did it.
 
2012-07-06 08:44:50 AM  
Done in one.
 
2012-07-06 08:45:44 AM  
GD?
 
2012-07-06 08:45:50 AM  

WTF Indeed: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 320x240]


simpsons did it.
 
2012-07-06 08:46:28 AM  
I'd sell my soul for a formula one racing car
 
2012-07-06 08:47:08 AM  
Well, this is certainly a novel approach to AWing.
 
2012-07-06 08:47:17 AM  
Delivery on Friday the 13th?
 
2012-07-06 08:50:52 AM  
People sell imaginary things all the time. Just look at all the people buying items and money on WoW, EQ etc.

At least you get some kind of benefit for having a better suit of armour in a game though.
 
2012-07-06 08:51:05 AM  
Hmm, how does she plan on delivering her soul? What's the process of delivery? Or is it up to me, as the purchaser, to take possession of her soul?

i49.tinypic.com
 
2012-07-06 08:52:42 AM  
meblogwritegood.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-07-06 08:52:43 AM  
Selling souls on eBay is old hat. Seriously, I think they actually did that before the Simpsons did it.
 
2012-07-06 08:53:24 AM  
Messed up article. Not one mention of her age and how many kids she has.
 
2012-07-06 08:55:36 AM  
eBay will cancel it, because selling body parts is not allowed.
 
2012-07-06 08:56:29 AM  

ArcadianRefugee: Selling souls on eBay is old hat. Seriously, I think they actually did that before the Simpsons did it.


eBay: founded September 3, 1995

Simpsons S07E04 (Bart Sells His Soul): aired October 8, 1995

With pre-production lead times, I'm guessing the Simpsons was at least penned first - but it probably inspire people to start doing it from pretty much the first month eBay was in business
 
2012-07-06 08:57:28 AM  
Headline -- Woman Hottie puts her 'slightly used' soul on eBay for $2,000.

FTFY Subby. Now it's up to snuff for a link to the Daily Fail.
 
2012-07-06 08:57:30 AM  
Is she a cobbler?
 
2012-07-06 08:59:27 AM  

BurnShrike: People sell imaginary things all the time.


So you will sell me your soul, then.
 
2012-07-06 09:00:17 AM  

Lando Lincoln: BurnShrike: People sell imaginary things all the time.

So you will sell me your soul, then.


Absolutely, for the right price.
 
2012-07-06 09:01:27 AM  
Does $2000 include the troll toll?

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-07-06 09:02:21 AM  

mutterfark: Is she a cobbler?


no she's a gay!
 
2012-07-06 09:02:46 AM  
I got nothing, just like the person who buys this.
 
2012-07-06 09:02:46 AM  

BurnShrike: Lando Lincoln: BurnShrike: People sell imaginary things all the time.

So you will sell me your soul, then.

Absolutely, for the right price.


How much?
 
2012-07-06 09:04:50 AM  
SoulFax
Your One Stop Shop for researching used Souls

SoulFax Summary
Age of Soul: 3000 years (+- 10 years)
Soul has Occupied the following:
Human (39 years)
Horse (8 years)
Mediterranean Fruit Fly (-24 hours)
Parrot (90 years)
Human (54 Years)
Cat (2 years)
Others - Unlisted 2832 years (approx)
Time Spent in Purgatory (Total) 75 years
Soul may have other unregistered owners
Current Occupant: Human Female Location: New Mexico

Salvage ( ) Rebuilt ( ) Junk( )

Total SoulFax Rating 72%
Rating reflect data that is not available and may not reflect current condition of the soul. As always, Buyer beware!
 
2012-07-06 09:06:30 AM  

WTF Indeed: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 320x240]


Done in 1
 
2012-07-06 09:06:43 AM  
>

>enable CSB mode

While in the Navy, there was a "hardcore confirmed athiest" in our division. An good friend of mine would always question the athiest's true commitment to his non-beliefs. Eventually, and close to payday when the athiest was broke, he offered him ten dollars for his soul. Made a contract and everything, which the athiest had to sign in blood. The athiest took the ten dollars, waved it in my friend's face, and called him a fool as he went on his way with "free money".

I'll be damned if it didn't work out EXACTLY like the Bart's Soul episode. After two days, the athiest was back nonchalantly asking about "cancelling the offer, and just returning the ten dollars". He had a dark look to him, and you could see he had been mulling it over a lot and it was eating at him. My friend, who held the contract, is one of those absolutely merciless types and refused - waving the contract in his face and gleefully mocking him and saying how he is now "guaranteed heaven" since he holds two souls...stuff like that. He made the poor bastard BEG for the soul back, and eventually relented after the victim stated that "he was actually agnostic and not athiest" mcuh to the satusfaction of my friend who had then "won".

He sold him his soul back for THIRTY dollars on payday. You shoulda seen the look of relief of the dude's face...he was seriously stressed about it.

I have found through the years that pretty much nobody, even athiests, will sell their soul...."just in case".
 
2012-07-06 09:07:00 AM  
Lando Lincoln: BurnShrike: Lando Lincoln: BurnShrike: People sell imaginary things all the time.

So you will sell me your soul, then.

Absolutely, for the right price.

How much?


You two should get a room.

/kinda funny
/or kinda sad
/or kinda crazy
/depends on your view I guess
 
2012-07-06 09:11:29 AM  
since the simpsons thing is already taken care of, i would like to mention that my friend used to do this. on halloween he would draw up a bunch of contracts and then offer to buy people's soul for one large king-size candybar of their choice. and he would always get a couple from people who thought 'hey, free candy bar!' the fact that they would actually sign the contract and go through all the motions actually kind of bothered me, but it was amusing anyways.
 
2012-07-06 09:11:47 AM  
Seems like a good gift for your lawyer friend.
 
2012-07-06 09:12:23 AM  

Optimus Primate: I have found through the years that pretty much nobody, even athiests, will sell their soul...."just in case".


Make me an offer.
 
2012-07-06 09:12:26 AM  
I did some soul searching once, but I kept getting a 404 error.
 
2012-07-06 09:15:45 AM  
According to the Optimus Primate multiplier, the $2000 soul should be worth $6000 on payday. Try getting a return like that from your 401K.
 
2012-07-06 09:19:14 AM  

Optimus Primate: >

>enable CSB mode

While in the Navy, there was a "hardcore confirmed athiest" in our division. An good friend of mine would always question the athiest's true commitment to his non-beliefs. Eventually, and close to payday when the athiest was broke, he offered him ten dollars for his soul. Made a contract and everything, which the athiest had to sign in blood. The athiest took the ten dollars, waved it in my friend's face, and called him a fool as he went on his way with "free money".

I'll be damned if it didn't work out EXACTLY like the Bart's Soul episode. After two days, the athiest was back nonchalantly asking about "cancelling the offer, and just returning the ten dollars". He had a dark look to him, and you could see he had been mulling it over a lot and it was eating at him. My friend, who held the contract, is one of those absolutely merciless types and refused - waving the contract in his face and gleefully mocking him and saying how he is now "guaranteed heaven" since he holds two souls...stuff like that. He made the poor bastard BEG for the soul back, and eventually relented after the victim stated that "he was actually agnostic and not athiest" mcuh to the satusfaction of my friend who had then "won".

He sold him his soul back for THIRTY dollars on payday. You shoulda seen the look of relief of the dude's face...he was seriously stressed about it.

I have found through the years that pretty much nobody, even athiests, will sell their soul...."just in case".


Dude, I've sold my soul more times than I can count (first was for a pack of cigarettes as a teen), and have had zero stress or worry about it, ever. It's just silly superstition.
 
2012-07-06 09:23:33 AM  
Even if there was a soul who's dumb enough to think a piece of paper saying, "Here's my soul" is actually valid? Oh right, people who believe in souls.
 
2012-07-06 09:24:11 AM  

Honest Bender: Hmm, how does she plan on delivering her soul? What's the process of delivery? Or is it up to me, as the purchaser, to take possession of her soul?

[i49.tinypic.com image 640x360]


Is that the O'Rly owl tucked into that critter's throat?
 
2012-07-06 09:26:54 AM  

Lando Lincoln: BurnShrike: Lando Lincoln: BurnShrike: People sell imaginary things all the time.

So you will sell me your soul, then.

Absolutely, for the right price.

How much?


I dunno. Make me an offer. How much does a soul go for these days? Mine's in better condition than hers. I'd like to be able to get myself something nice with the money.
 
2012-07-06 09:27:56 AM  

browntimmy: Even if there was a soul who's dumb enough to think a piece of paper saying, "Here's my soul" is actually valid? Oh right, people who believe in souls.


Shhhh. I'm about to make some money here.
 
2012-07-06 09:28:22 AM  
we all share the same soul.

all animals, plants

guess what this woman is SMART. cause she now has someone to validate her mental illness!
 
2012-07-06 09:28:46 AM  
i.ytimg.com

Approves

/Obscure?
 
2012-07-06 09:29:06 AM  
It may have just been a typo. She may be selling her hole.
 
2012-07-06 09:30:03 AM  
Women have no souls.
 
2012-07-06 09:31:57 AM  

WhippingBoy: Women have no souls.


Neither do men. What's your point?
 
2012-07-06 09:33:20 AM  

BurnShrike: WhippingBoy: Women have no souls.

Neither do men. What's your point?


Way to ruin a perfectly good joke, jerk.
 
2012-07-06 09:34:13 AM  

WhippingBoy: BurnShrike: WhippingBoy: Women have no souls.

Neither do men. What's your point?

Way to ruin a perfectly good joke, jerk.


I know I have a soul. Cause i can SIIING
 
2012-07-06 09:34:14 AM  

WhippingBoy: BurnShrike: WhippingBoy: Women have no souls.

Neither do men. What's your point?

Way to ruin a perfectly good joke, jerk.


It was a mediocre joke, but you just didn't put enough heart and soul into it.
 
2012-07-06 09:34:59 AM  
Souls are cheap these days... I had one guy lose his to me by playing a video game, and another girl lose hers to me betting against the Cubs.

/neither time did I bet *my* soul.
//Apparently 50 cents for another play at that video game was enough to risk it for the first guy and for me to "kiss her on her feet" was enough for the second girl to risk and lose her soul as well.
///After losing it, they both wanted their souls back... seller's remorse I guess.
 
2012-07-06 09:35:24 AM  

BurnShrike: WhippingBoy: BurnShrike: WhippingBoy: Women have no souls.

Neither do men. What's your point?

Way to ruin a perfectly good joke, jerk.

It was a mediocre joke, but you just didn't put enough heart and soul into it.


Heh. OK, you're aaaaaall-right.
 
2012-07-06 09:35:32 AM  
Wow...41 posts and nobody posted this?
 
2012-07-06 09:35:58 AM  
1) It is against ebay rules to sell human body parts

2) If you can not deliver, this is fraud

3) Fugly
 
2012-07-06 09:36:57 AM  
Well, that's kind of sad. When I was at my low, I just went and talked to... you know, friends.
 
2012-07-06 09:37:33 AM  
According to the open soul market, that soul isn't worth more than $50.

http://www.freakonomics.com/2012/05/07/soul-possession-a-new-freakono m ics-radio-podcast/
 
2012-07-06 09:37:46 AM  

Wasilla Hillbilly: Optimus Primate: >

>enable CSB mode

While in the Navy, there was a "hardcore confirmed athiest" in our division. An good friend of mine would always question the athiest's true commitment to his non-beliefs. Eventually, and close to payday when the athiest was broke, he offered him ten dollars for his soul. Made a contract and everything, which the athiest had to sign in blood. The athiest took the ten dollars, waved it in my friend's face, and called him a fool as he went on his way with "free money".

I'll be damned if it didn't work out EXACTLY like the Bart's Soul episode. After two days, the athiest was back nonchalantly asking about "cancelling the offer, and just returning the ten dollars". He had a dark look to him, and you could see he had been mulling it over a lot and it was eating at him. My friend, who held the contract, is one of those absolutely merciless types and refused - waving the contract in his face and gleefully mocking him and saying how he is now "guaranteed heaven" since he holds two souls...stuff like that. He made the poor bastard BEG for the soul back, and eventually relented after the victim stated that "he was actually agnostic and not athiest" mcuh to the satusfaction of my friend who had then "won".

He sold him his soul back for THIRTY dollars on payday. You shoulda seen the look of relief of the dude's face...he was seriously stressed about it.

I have found through the years that pretty much nobody, even athiests, will sell their soul...."just in case".

Dude, I've sold my soul more times than I can count (first was for a pack of cigarettes as a teen), and have had zero stress or worry about it, ever. It's just silly superstition.


Agreed in general...and well - this was back in the 1980's - a simpler time. I am not a christian, but I would not sell my soul to anyone. Simply for the idea that it symbolically represents one's "inner spirit" and that being willing to sell that core part of yourself (while impossible) represents a willingness to "give up" on that unique energy that makes us what we are. It seems cheap and crass to acknowledge such a sale, on a purely philosophical level...so I would not do it.

I believe in the existence of a "soul spirit" in each of us. It's not something one can truly sell, but the act of selling it would devalue it's importance in my philosophy and would therefore not be cool to do.

I also think the "signing in blood" thing increases the "scare factor" for those willing to complete the deal. It just makes it seem more permanent and binding.
 
2012-07-06 09:38:12 AM  

SpectroBoy: 1) It is against ebay rules to sell human body parts

2) If you can not deliver, this is fraud

3) Fugly


that sucks. i wanted to sell my penis for $666
 
2012-07-06 09:40:08 AM  

SpectroBoy: 1) It is against ebay rules to sell human body parts
2) If you can not deliver, this is fraud
3) Fugly


It's not a body part.

The contract is the deliverable.

Still waiting for offers.

Has to be enough to motivate me to go to the Post Office, unless you are willing to take electronic delivery of a soul.
 
2012-07-06 09:44:44 AM  
see i would have made it a dutch auction. Thereby collecting the moneys of 100 people and getting to keep the universal message soul
 
2012-07-06 09:46:13 AM  
The Nightman Cometh?
 
2012-07-06 09:48:17 AM  
LIFEFORCE not soul......it's all very scientific.

encrypted-tbn0.google.com

.
 
2012-07-06 09:56:57 AM  

Dead for Tax Reasons: I'd sell my soul for a formula one racing car


Maybe you should contact the guys running redbulll F1 about that
 
2012-07-06 09:59:45 AM  
Also, she's white, she likely has no soul
 
2012-07-06 10:00:57 AM  
I'll sell mine for $75 and a vicodin.
 
2012-07-06 10:05:33 AM  

Jon iz teh kewl: see i would have made it a dutch auction. Thereby collecting the moneys of 100 people and getting to keep the universal message soul


entice them in with Free Shipping
 
2012-07-06 10:07:12 AM  

Optimus Primate: >

>enable CSB mode

While in the Navy, there was a "hardcore confirmed athiest" in our division. An good friend of mine would always

I have found through the years that pretty much nobody, even athiests, will sell their soul...."just in case".



Hey, could you do me a favour? Do you see that bowl of dicks over there? Could you eat the whole thing, please?
 
2012-07-06 10:09:18 AM  
Cheney only drinks the souls of the young.
 
2012-07-06 10:11:07 AM  

MisterLoki: I'll sell mine for $75 and a vicodin.


it looks sort of worn down, i got 5 bucks and a Tylenol that fell behind my desk
 
2012-07-06 10:12:57 AM  
Despite not receiving any bids for her opening offer, she said she felt encouraged by the number of hits the internet auction site posting had received.

Of course you haven't received any bids. You've priced yourself way out of the market.

i.qkme.me
 
2012-07-06 10:14:02 AM  

genner: LIFEFORCE not soul......it's all very scientific.

[encrypted-tbn0.google.com image 160x160]

.


No, LIFEFORCE is a british film Patrick Stewart was in.
 
2012-07-06 10:16:58 AM  
genner: LIFEFORCE not soul......it's all very scientific.

[encrypted-tbn0.google.com image 160x160]

.


Shakes tiny fist
 
2012-07-06 10:17:53 AM  

Optimus Primate: >

>enable CSB mode

While in the Navy, there was a "hardcore confirmed athiest" in our division. An good friend of mine would always question the athiest's true commitment to his non-beliefs. Eventually, and close to payday when the athiest was broke, he offered him ten dollars for his soul. Made a contract and everything, which the athiest had to sign in blood. The athiest took the ten dollars, waved it in my friend's face, and called him a fool as he went on his way with "free money".

I'll be damned if it didn't work out EXACTLY like the Bart's Soul episode. After two days, the athiest was back nonchalantly asking about "cancelling the offer, and just returning the ten dollars". He had a dark look to him, and you could see he had been mulling it over a lot and it was eating at him. My friend, who held the contract, is one of those absolutely merciless types and refused - waving the contract in his face and gleefully mocking him and saying how he is now "guaranteed heaven" since he holds two souls...stuff like that. He made the poor bastard BEG for the soul back, and eventually relented after the victim stated that "he was actually agnostic and not athiest" mcuh to the satusfaction of my friend who had then "won".

He sold him his soul back for THIRTY dollars on payday. You shoulda seen the look of relief of the dude's face...he was seriously stressed about it.

I have found through the years that pretty much nobody, even athiests, will sell their soul...."just in case".


Let's all point and laugh at the guy who can't spell atheist.
 
2012-07-06 10:18:38 AM  
You can't make shiat up like this
 
2012-07-06 10:20:42 AM  
Interested buyer.....

robpetkau.files.wordpress.com

Some strings attached though.
 
2012-07-06 10:21:44 AM  
I think it would be awesome if the buyer showed up with a Voodoo priest who collected some hair, a bit of blood and performed a ritual to bind her soul in a jar.

You say the buyer isn't getting anything tangible, but I'll bet the look on the now souless girl would be priceless.

/a soul jar would make a great mantle knicknack.
 
2012-07-06 10:23:38 AM  

Whiskey Dickens: Optimus Primate: >

>enable CSB mode

While in the Navy, there was a "hardcore confirmed athiest" in our division. An good friend of mine would always

I have found through the years that pretty much nobody, even athiests, will sell their soul...."just in case".


Hey, could you do me a favour? Do you see that bowl of dicks over there? Could you eat the whole thing, please?


Are they wrapped in bacon and covered in carmelized brown sugar? If so, ok.
 
2012-07-06 10:25:55 AM  

browntimmy: Even if there was a soul who's dumb enough to think a piece of paper saying, "Here's my soul" is actually valid? Oh right, people who believe in souls.


So you'll sell me your soul too? Hoo boy. I'll have a backup soul to my backup soul.

BurnShrike: I dunno. Make me an offer. How much does a soul go for these days? Mine's in better condition than hers. I'd like to be able to get myself something nice with the money.


Oh, come on, now. You don't even believe you have one. I'm just asking you to sign a piece of paper and mail it back to me. That can't be worth more than ten bucks.
 
2012-07-06 10:29:59 AM  
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-07-06 10:37:08 AM  

busy chillin': [upload.wikimedia.org image 220x313]


Did he sell it down at the Cossroads?

/yeah, I can cross-joke FARK threads....
 
2012-07-06 10:38:51 AM  
www.inquisitr.com
 
2012-07-06 10:40:57 AM  

Lando Lincoln: BurnShrike: I dunno. Make me an offer. How much does a soul go for these days? Mine's in better condition than hers. I'd like to be able to get myself something nice with the money.

Oh, come on, now. You don't even believe you have one. I'm just asking you to sign a piece of paper and mail it back to me. That can't be worth more than ten bucks.


That's not how it works. The value of something isn't set by the owner of the item. It's set by the market, which is what people are willing to pay for it.

I may not believe that a Van Gogh painting is worth millions, but people are willing to pay that much for it, so that's what it's worth.

Whether I believe I have one or not is beside the point. What are people willing to pay for it? You've offered up $10, but I can probably do better than that somewhere else. So I'll hold on to it until I get a better offer.

Besides, the shipping costs alone would be more than that.

/my soul sounds fat
 
2012-07-06 10:41:50 AM  
unrealitymag.com
 
2012-07-06 10:47:34 AM  

95BV5: Let's all point and laugh at the guy who can't spell atheist.


He's the athiest ath there ever was!
 
2012-07-06 10:48:53 AM  

95BV5: Optimus Primate: >

>enable CSB mode

While in the Navy, there was a "hardcore confirmed athiest" in our division. An good friend of mine would always question the athiest's true commitment to his non-beliefs. Eventually, and close to payday when the athiest was broke, he offered him ten dollars for his soul. Made a contract and everything, which the athiest had to sign in blood. The athiest took the ten dollars, waved it in my friend's face, and called him a fool as he went on his way with "free money".

I'll be damned if it didn't work out EXACTLY like the Bart's Soul episode. After two days, the athiest was back nonchalantly asking about "cancelling the offer, and just returning the ten dollars". He had a dark look to him, and you could see he had been mulling it over a lot and it was eating at him. My friend, who held the contract, is one of those absolutely merciless types and refused - waving the contract in his face and gleefully mocking him and saying how he is now "guaranteed heaven" since he holds two souls...stuff like that. He made the poor bastard BEG for the soul back, and eventually relented after the victim stated that "he was actually agnostic and not athiest" mcuh to the satusfaction of my friend who had then "won".

He sold him his soul back for THIRTY dollars on payday. You shoulda seen the look of relief of the dude's face...he was seriously stressed about it.

I have found through the years that pretty much nobody, even athiests, will sell their soul...."just in case".

Let's all point and laugh at the guy who can't spell atheist.


Meh, like you never made one single typo in your entire life.
 
2012-07-06 10:49:33 AM  
www.killmydaynow.com
 
2012-07-06 10:51:25 AM  

BurnShrike: Lando Lincoln: BurnShrike: I dunno. Make me an offer. How much does a soul go for these days? Mine's in better condition than hers. I'd like to be able to get myself something nice with the money.

Oh, come on, now. You don't even believe you have one. I'm just asking you to sign a piece of paper and mail it back to me. That can't be worth more than ten bucks.

That's not how it works. The value of something isn't set by the owner of the item. It's set by the market, which is what people are willing to pay for it.

I may not believe that a Van Gogh painting is worth millions, but people are willing to pay that much for it, so that's what it's worth.

Whether I believe I have one or not is beside the point. What are people willing to pay for it? You've offered up $10, but I can probably do better than that somewhere else. So I'll hold on to it until I get a better offer.

Besides, the shipping costs alone would be more than that.

/my soul sounds fat


The point is, you're chickening out. Either put up or shut up, atheist. I'll send you the document with a nice pen for you to sign with and a postage-paid return envelope. You can keep the pen as a memento.
 
2012-07-06 11:02:23 AM  
Too much walking shoes worn thin
too much trippin' and my soul's worn thin
Time to catch her ride it leaves today,
her name is what it means...
 
2012-07-06 11:06:21 AM  
If that's what she's asking for her Soul, I don't want to know about her Funk.
 
2012-07-06 11:09:18 AM  

Lando Lincoln: The point is, you're chickening out. Either put up or shut up, atheist. I'll send you the document with a nice pen for you to sign with and a postage-paid return envelope. You can keep the pen as a memento.


I'm not "chickening out". I'm holding out for a price that's reasonable.

Will you sell me your car for $10? No? Chickening out, are ya? Or do you just think it's worth more than that?

So if you think souls are real, offer me a reasonable sum for mine. Either put up or shut up.
 
2012-07-06 11:09:26 AM  
cdn.straightfromthea.com
 
2012-07-06 11:14:18 AM  

Lando Lincoln: The point is, you're chickening out. Either put up or shut up, atheist. I'll send you the document with a nice pen for you to sign with and a postage-paid return envelope. You can keep the pen as a memento.


How about $1 for the soul, $24 S&H?
 
2012-07-06 11:17:08 AM  

Optimus Primate: Whiskey Dickens: Optimus Primate: >

>enable CSB mode

While in the Navy, there was a "hardcore confirmed athiest" in our division. An good friend of mine would always

I have found through the years that pretty much nobody, even athiests, will sell their soul...."just in case".


Hey, could you do me a favour? Do you see that bowl of dicks over there? Could you eat the whole thing, please?

Are they wrapped in bacon and covered in carmelized brown sugar? If so, ok.


THis can be arranged, but it'll cost you fifty bucks extra.
 
2012-07-06 11:19:11 AM  
First day you walk on the job that is to be your career, you have sold it.
 
2012-07-06 11:24:32 AM  

DreamSnipers: First day you walk on the job that is to be your career, you have sold it.


You sound like a philosophy major with piles of debt.
 
2012-07-06 11:25:44 AM  
The joke is on you! I am only selling my 魄 not my 魂.
 
2012-07-06 11:29:24 AM  
I just thought of something. I should write some free app that has, "Agreeing to these terms gives me your soul, which will be fully transferrable" in the EULA.

I bet I could make a bunch of money reselling souls. You could buy yours back, buy one as a gag gift. Collect them and trade them.
 
2012-07-06 11:30:30 AM  

DreamSnipers: First day you walk on the job that is to be your career, you have sold it.


NO I'm renting it.
I take my soul back when they stop paying me.
 
2012-07-06 11:33:36 AM  

BMFPitt: I just thought of something. I should write some free app that has, "Agreeing to these terms gives me your soul, which will be fully transferrable" in the EULA.

I bet I could make a bunch of money reselling souls. You could buy yours back, buy one as a gag gift. Collect them and trade them.


Make sure it's in tiny print somewhere in the middle of a long terms and conditions agreement. No one reads those anyways before clicking agree.
 
2012-07-06 11:35:04 AM  

BMFPitt: I just thought of something. I should write some free app that has, "Agreeing to these terms gives me your soul, which will be fully transferrable" in the EULA.

I bet I could make a bunch of money reselling souls. You could buy yours back, buy one as a gag gift. Collect them and trade them.


Been done. Gamestation changed their EULA for an April 1st prank. They collected 7,500 souls before people started to notice.

/they relinquished rights later.
 
2012-07-06 11:35:06 AM  

Optimus Primate: I have found through the years that pretty much nobody, even athiests, will sell their soul...."just in case".


Superstition is a hard habit to shake.

Say that out loud now or you will have bad luck all day.

/saying "that" doesn't count
 
2012-07-06 11:35:35 AM  

CapeFearCadaver: BMFPitt: I just thought of something. I should write some free app that has, "Agreeing to these terms gives me your soul, which will be fully transferrable" in the EULA.

I bet I could make a bunch of money reselling souls. You could buy yours back, buy one as a gag gift. Collect them and trade them.

Make sure it's in tiny print somewhere in the middle of a long terms and conditions agreement. No one reads those anyways before clicking agree.


I could probably bold it right at the top, and 90% of people would agree.
 
2012-07-06 11:46:40 AM  
Boris S. Wort

Optimus Primate: I have found through the years that pretty much nobody, even athiests, will sell their soul...."just in case".

Superstition is a hard habit to shake.

Say that out loud now or you will have bad luck all day.


It is bad luck to be superstitious. However, I am a little stitious.

Also, a liquor store I went to had a little demon tchotchke at the counter with a sign that said "touch me for one year of bad luck"

I almost did it...but then as said...I didn't touch it "just in case". The guy said no one had touched in over a month. Belief is a funny thing.
 
2012-07-06 11:50:47 AM  

Optimus Primate: >

>enable CSB mode

While in the Navy, there was a "hardcore confirmed athiest" in our division. An good friend of mine would always question the athiest's true commitment to his non-beliefs. Eventually, and close to payday when the athiest was broke, he offered him ten dollars for his soul. Made a contract and everything, which the athiest had to sign in blood. The athiest took the ten dollars, waved it in my friend's face, and called him a fool as he went on his way with "free money".

I'll be damned if it didn't work out EXACTLY like the Bart's Soul episode. After two days, the athiest was back nonchalantly asking about "cancelling the offer, and just returning the ten dollars". He had a dark look to him, and you could see he had been mulling it over a lot and it was eating at him. My friend, who held the contract, is one of those absolutely merciless types and refused - waving the contract in his face and gleefully mocking him and saying how he is now "guaranteed heaven" since he holds two souls...stuff like that. He made the poor bastard BEG for the soul back, and eventually relented after the victim stated that "he was actually agnostic and not athiest" mcuh to the satusfaction of my friend who had then "won".

He sold him his soul back for THIRTY dollars on payday. You shoulda seen the look of relief of the dude's face...he was seriously stressed about it.

I have found through the years that pretty much nobody, even athiests, will sell their soul...."just in case".


Joke might be on your friend. I should imagine the great sky fairy takes a pretty dim view on people trading in souls. Kind of thing that satan is supposed to do.
 
2012-07-06 12:01:22 PM  

loonatic112358: Dead for Tax Reasons: I'd sell my soul for a formula one racing car

Maybe you should contact the guys running redbulll F1 about that


i figured this guy would be more the guy i need, worked for bart

www.acmearchivesdirect.com
 
2012-07-06 12:06:58 PM  

Optimus Primate: I have found through the years that pretty much nobody, even athiests, will sell their soul...."just in case".


I would have at least told him to double it. $20 sounds about right.
 
2012-07-06 12:11:48 PM  

BurnShrike: Lando Lincoln: The point is, you're chickening out. Either put up or shut up, atheist. I'll send you the document with a nice pen for you to sign with and a postage-paid return envelope. You can keep the pen as a memento.

I'm not "chickening out". I'm holding out for a price that's reasonable.

Will you sell me your car for $10? No? Chickening out, are ya? Or do you just think it's worth more than that?

So if you think souls are real, offer me a reasonable sum for mine. Either put up or shut up.


You're not losing your ability to sell your soul again in the future (unless when you try and sell it again someone finds this fark thread which realistically won't happen). You're giving up nothing except for something like 1 minute of your time to sign the document and put it in the envelope. You probably can't sell to Lando again, but if that's all he'll offer then you're getting all you'll get from him.
 
2012-07-06 12:14:23 PM  
WTF Indeed:

My favorite episode


/Pablo Neruda says "laughter is the language of the soul"
//also, remember Alf?
 
2012-07-06 12:18:11 PM  
I can only find one soul for sale on EBay right now....

http://www.ebay.com/itm/My-Soul-/190699505413?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&h a sh=item2c66938705#ht_500wt_1203

I'm watching this one to see if the guy really gets anything. If he does, I'll sell mine on there, too.
 
2012-07-06 12:19:25 PM  

Honest Bender: Hmm, how does she plan on delivering her soul? What's the process of delivery? Or is it up to me, as the purchaser, to take possession of her soul?


radbot.net
 
2012-07-06 12:26:59 PM  

Ivnabru: You're not losing your ability to sell your soul again in the future (unless when you try and sell it again someone finds this fark thread which realistically won't happen). You're giving up nothing except for something like 1 minute of your time to sign the document and put it in the envelope. You probably can't sell to Lando again, but if that's all he'll offer then you're getting all you'll get from him.


Selling it again (without language in the contract allowing that) would be fraudulent and immoral. But perhaps you could sell shares in your soul, reserving the right to future IPOs. That would be legit.
 
2012-07-06 12:28:35 PM  

95BV5: Optimus Primate: >

>enable CSB mode

While in the Navy, there was a "hardcore confirmed athiest" in our division. An good friend of mine would always question the athiest's true commitment to his non-beliefs. Eventually, and close to payday when the athiest was broke, he offered him ten dollars for his soul. Made a contract and everything, which the athiest had to sign in blood. The athiest took the ten dollars, waved it in my friend's face, and called him a fool as he went on his way with "free money".

I'll be damned if it didn't work out EXACTLY like the Bart's Soul episode. After two days, the athiest was back nonchalantly asking about "cancelling the offer, and just returning the ten dollars". He had a dark look to him, and you could see he had been mulling it over a lot and it was eating at him. My friend, who held the contract, is one of those absolutely merciless types and refused - waving the contract in his face and gleefully mocking him and saying how he is now "guaranteed heaven" since he holds two souls...stuff like that. He made the poor bastard BEG for the soul back, and eventually relented after the victim stated that "he was actually agnostic and not athiest" mcuh to the satusfaction of my friend who had then "won".

He sold him his soul back for THIRTY dollars on payday. You shoulda seen the look of relief of the dude's face...he was seriously stressed about it.

I have found through the years that pretty much nobody, even athiests, will sell their soul...."just in case".

Let's all point and laugh at the guy who can't spell atheist.


I can't believe I spelled atheist wrong...my mind always thinks about the old "i before e" parameter, even though it does not apply and I am fully aware that the root word is Theist (I have 2 years of latin under my belt). I have been spelling it wrong for a long while.
 
2012-07-06 12:42:34 PM  

BMFPitt: Ivnabru: You're not losing your ability to sell your soul again in the future (unless when you try and sell it again someone finds this fark thread which realistically won't happen). You're giving up nothing except for something like 1 minute of your time to sign the document and put it in the envelope. You probably can't sell to Lando again, but if that's all he'll offer then you're getting all you'll get from him.

Selling it again (without language in the contract allowing that) would be fraudulent and immoral. But perhaps you could sell shares in your soul, reserving the right to future IPOs. That would be legit.


Maybe it's immoral. Probably not fraudulent but I guess possibly. Personally if I were selling my soul I wouldn't have a problem with selling it more than once. Maybe my morals are a bit lower than most though.
 
2012-07-06 12:50:07 PM  

WelldeadLink: eBay will cancel it, because selling body parts is not allowed.


She might want to try the NYSE. I've heard rumors of an IPO coming out soon.
 
2012-07-06 01:02:22 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-07-06 01:03:23 PM  
What an opportunity for those religious wack jobs who are always out to save people's souls. They can buy this one and keep it in a jar so that no action she takes will ever taint it!


I think it would be awesome if the buyer showed up with a Voodoo priestSwami who collected some hair, a bit of blood and performed a ritual to bind her soul in a jarbowl.

FTFY

i.ytimg.com
 
2012-07-06 01:09:20 PM  

BMFPitt: Ivnabru: You're not losing your ability to sell your soul again in the future (unless when you try and sell it again someone finds this fark thread which realistically won't happen). You're giving up nothing except for something like 1 minute of your time to sign the document and put it in the envelope. You probably can't sell to Lando again, but if that's all he'll offer then you're getting all you'll get from him.

Selling it again (without language in the contract allowing that) would be fraudulent and immoral. But perhaps you could sell shares in your soul, reserving the right to future IPOs. That would be legit.


Ah, but we are going with my definition of what a soul is. I grow souls like tomatoes and can keep on selling them. I can't help it if your imaginary definition and description of soul don't jive with reality. Now. Who wants to buy half a dozen?
 
2012-07-06 01:21:44 PM  

BurnShrike: Lando Lincoln: The point is, you're chickening out. Either put up or shut up, atheist. I'll send you the document with a nice pen for you to sign with and a postage-paid return envelope. You can keep the pen as a memento.

I'm not "chickening out". I'm holding out for a price that's reasonable.

Will you sell me your car for $10? No? Chickening out, are ya? Or do you just think it's worth more than that?

So if you think souls are real, offer me a reasonable sum for mine. Either put up or shut up.


If I believed my car didn't exist and you wanted to buy it for $10? Yes, I'd sell it to you.

Come on, now. I promise not to resell your soul. I will take good care of it. You can trust me.
 
2012-07-06 01:35:59 PM  
So you could buy her soul, then sell it to the Devil for a life of luxury! Awesome!
 
2012-07-06 01:37:34 PM  

NotARocketScientist: What an opportunity for those religious wack jobs who are always out to save people's souls. They can buy this one and keep it in a jar so that no action she takes will ever taint it!


I think it would be awesome if the buyer showed up with a Voodoo priestSwami who collected some hair, a bit of blood and performed a ritual to bind her soul in a jarbowl.

FTFY


Nope, Voodoo priest. Think "The Serpent and the Rainbow" where the voodoo priest keeps people's souls in jars (each customized with items of the victim).
 
2012-07-06 01:47:50 PM  

StreetlightInTheGhetto: Honest Bender: Hmm, how does she plan on delivering her soul? What's the process of delivery? Or is it up to me, as the purchaser, to take possession of her soul?

radbot.net


i49.tinypic.com

/See ya.
 
2012-07-06 01:50:20 PM  

Lando Lincoln: Come on, now. I promise not to resell your soul. I will take good care of it. You can trust me.


It's not a matter of what you do with it. I really don't give a crap about that. It doesn't exist. You can pretend to do whatever you like with it.

My biggest issue was that I don't feel like I could sell it more than once. As much as I'd love to keep selling my soul to any idiots gullible enough to give me money for it, it has a sense of dishonesty about it. And that being the case, I'll hold out for more money than just $10, thanks.

But as someone mentioned above, perhaps I can claim that souls regrow or bud off or something. Or maybe souls are like fingers, and you have 10 of them. There's no reason my imaginary item has to fit your definition of it.

My next issue is with giving up my anonymity to you. I'd have to give you my address, and name, and as nice as you sound, something about being in the market for used souls just doesn't have a positive vibe to it. It would certainly take more than just $10 to get over that.

In short, $10 isn't worth it. Make me a serious offer and we'll talk.
 
2012-07-06 01:59:02 PM  

BurnShrike: Lando Lincoln: Come on, now. I promise not to resell your soul. I will take good care of it. You can trust me.

It's not a matter of what you do with it. I really don't give a crap about that. It doesn't exist. You can pretend to do whatever you like with it.

My biggest issue was that I don't feel like I could sell it more than once. As much as I'd love to keep selling my soul to any idiots gullible enough to give me money for it, it has a sense of dishonesty about it. And that being the case, I'll hold out for more money than just $10, thanks.

But as someone mentioned above, perhaps I can claim that souls regrow or bud off or something. Or maybe souls are like fingers, and you have 10 of them. There's no reason my imaginary item has to fit your definition of it.

My next issue is with giving up my anonymity to you. I'd have to give you my address, and name, and as nice as you sound, something about being in the market for used souls just doesn't have a positive vibe to it. It would certainly take more than just $10 to get over that.

In short, $10 isn't worth it. Make me a serious offer and we'll talk.


What, you REALLY think that I'm going to fly up to the middle of nowhere (Canada) and hunt you down for selling me your soul? I promise never to reveal your real name to anyone on Fark or anyone else on the Internet. And I have to give you my name and address as well, so I'm taking a bigger chance, because you're more likely to try to hunt me down and take your soul back.
 
2012-07-06 02:15:34 PM  

BurnShrike: Lando Lincoln: Come on, now. I promise not to resell your soul. I will take good care of it. You can trust me.

It's not a matter of what you do with it. I really don't give a crap about that. It doesn't exist. You can pretend to do whatever you like with it.

My biggest issue was that I don't feel like I could sell it more than once. As much as I'd love to keep selling my soul to any idiots gullible enough to give me money for it, it has a sense of dishonesty about it. And that being the case, I'll hold out for more money than just $10, thanks.

But as someone mentioned above, perhaps I can claim that souls regrow or bud off or something. Or maybe souls are like fingers, and you have 10 of them. There's no reason my imaginary item has to fit your definition of it.

My next issue is with giving up my anonymity to you. I'd have to give you my address, and name, and as nice as you sound, something about being in the market for used souls just doesn't have a positive vibe to it. It would certainly take more than just $10 to get over that.

In short, $10 isn't worth it. Make me a serious offer and we'll talk.


So you won't let Lando Lincoln see your address for $10? That's pretty ridiculous.

I'd sell my address to anyone on Fark for $10.

You don't want to do it fine, but making up ridiculous reasons why you don't want to is just a waste of time.

I don't believe in souls, but I wouldn't sell mine unless it was a lot of money because I could be wrong. But that's just me. I tend to like proof to form a hard line opinion. I haven't seen proof that souls exist, I also haven't seen proof that they don't.
 
2012-07-06 02:16:22 PM  

Lando Lincoln: BurnShrike: In short, $10 isn't worth it. Make me a serious offer and we'll talk.

What, you REALLY think that I'm going to fly up to the middle of nowhere (Canada) and hunt you down for selling me your soul? I promise never to reveal your real name to anyone on Fark or anyone else on the Internet. And I have to give you my name and address as well, so I'm taking a bigger chance, because you're more likely to try to hunt me down and take your soul back.


You're not picking up on the hint here. Gimme $50 and I'll sell you a few of my souls.
 
2012-07-06 06:56:10 PM  

Rufus Lee King: loonatic112358: Also, she's white, she likely has no soul

You ain't lyin'! Ah-HENH!!!

[bigpondmusic.com image 300x300]


BMW Deal with the Devil
 
2012-07-06 07:00:27 PM  
She'll get more money than if she sold he hole.
 
2012-07-06 07:39:14 PM  
Pffft.

P.S. Your mind is worth more.
 
2012-07-06 08:35:02 PM  
 
2012-07-07 04:24:18 PM  

Honest Bender: StreetlightInTheGhetto: Honest Bender: Hmm, how does she plan on delivering her soul? What's the process of delivery? Or is it up to me, as the purchaser, to take possession of her soul?


NOT GUNTER'S SOUL!!! He is the most evil thing in the universe.


//quack
 
2012-07-07 11:04:14 PM  
(grimreaper.jpg)
 
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