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(AZ Family)   Experts in Arizona say the wave of recent crimes committed by naked men is probably because of drugs, but since this is Arizona you can never be certain   (azfamily.com) divider line 82
    More: Followup, Phoenix Police Department, Yavapai County, hijackings  
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2137 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jul 2012 at 4:26 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



82 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-07-05 11:32:54 PM
Why isn't there an Arizona tag yet?
 
2012-07-05 11:47:39 PM
 
2012-07-05 11:59:55 PM
Maybe their air conditioners broke.
 
2012-07-06 12:08:46 AM
Jock itch can drive a man past the edge of madness, my friends
 
2012-07-06 12:28:00 AM
"Generally speaking, every time you run into a naked man, there is some kind of illicit narcotic."

That's good police work there, Lou.
 
2012-07-06 12:32:31 AM

diaphoresis: Why isn't there an Arizona tag yet?


Drew's afraid of angering Governor Leatherface...
 
2012-07-06 12:34:49 AM

Paris1127: diaphoresis: Why isn't there an Arizona tag yet?

Drew's afraid of angering Governor Leatherface...


...and being sent to a tent camp in a pink jumpsuit.
 
2012-07-06 12:36:03 AM

Paris1127: diaphoresis: Why isn't there an Arizona tag yet?

Drew's afraid of angering Governor Leatherface...


Just where the F*CK is Drew's birth certificate? Huh? Saddleface wants to know.
 
2012-07-06 01:28:56 AM
Look, Arizona has the highest rate of alcoholism in the nation. Why? Because it is so damn hot that it drives them to it. Look at our governor. She can sharpen her knife on her cheeks. And I doubt it is because she's been working outside under el sol.

That's my 26.8 pesos. I mean 2 cents.
 
2012-07-06 02:30:27 AM
Free willy.
 
2012-07-06 02:53:41 AM
"If these people are under the influence of narcotics, that might explain the lack of clothing," said Officer Holmes.

Yep. That might explain it.
 
2012-07-06 04:36:30 AM
I'm gonna go with, "It's freakin hot in Arizona this time of year." Look at the 10 day forecast for Phoenix. It's triple digits every single day.
 
2012-07-06 04:38:09 AM
LOLL ARIZONA
 
2012-07-06 04:41:10 AM
Maybe it's just really hot. Hell, if I was living in that scorching desert, I'd want to be naked all the time too.
 
2012-07-06 04:43:49 AM
"Generally speaking, every time you run into a naked man, there is some kind of illicit narcotic."

Or it's a typical Friday night at John Travolta's house.
 
2012-07-06 04:46:03 AM
My bad, that's on me, brah! Just tryin to clear up that there swamp ass, and next thing you know, I'm stopped for jaywalkin' nekkid!
 
2012-07-06 04:47:37 AM
Oh Arizona. *shakes head*
 
2012-07-06 04:51:29 AM
"police fished a naked Chris Brown out of Tempe Town Lake and found drug paraphernalia in his possession."

So... where exactly did he stash his drug paraphernalia while "[eluding] authorities for more than an hour, swimming nude in the lake."?
 
2012-07-06 04:52:27 AM
this is so interesting
 
2012-07-06 04:58:19 AM
Saw Season 2 of Breaking Bad earlier and I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

/I know that's over in New Mexico but still
 
2012-07-06 05:03:45 AM

violentsalvation: Maybe their air conditioners broke.


The majority have swamp-coolers. Sad, but true.
 
2012-07-06 05:12:26 AM

jtown: I'm gonna go with, "It's freakin hot in Arizona this time of year." Look at the 10 day forecast for Phoenix. It's triple digits every single day.


Son, as a 35 year vet of AZ summers, let me tell you, that's a 120 day forecast.
 
2012-07-06 05:13:30 AM

Party Boy: Like Lady gaga on bath salts


This is a highly unappreciated comment.
 
2012-07-06 05:23:54 AM

dr_geek: "police fished a naked Chris Brown out of Tempe Town Lake and found drug paraphernalia in his possession."

So... where exactly did he stash his drug paraphernalia while "[eluding] authorities for more than an hour, swimming nude in the lake."?


In the police cruiser.
 
2012-07-06 05:32:38 AM

diaphoresis: Why isn't there an Arizona bath salts tag yet?

 
2012-07-06 05:38:31 AM

WizardofToast: Saw Season 2 of Breaking Bad earlier and I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

/I know that's over in New Mexico but still


fark you.
 
2012-07-06 05:45:12 AM
Bet you could make some bank selling scrotum sunscreen there...

/...or a cock ring-umbrella combo
 
2012-07-06 06:01:51 AM

WizardofToast: Saw Season 2 of Breaking Bad earlier and I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

/I know that's over in New Mexico but still


Breaking Bad could just as easily be AZ. The neighborhoods, the buildings, the people... could totally be phoenix.

the only thing theyd need to do would be to make the sister of the DEA guy a big haired SUV driving evangelical or mormon with 8" manicured nails and frosted hair who lives in scottsdale or fountain hills.

Its a little known fact that "Scottsdale" is a Hualapai word (one of the local indian tribes) meaning "place where McMansion living paleface woman drive Jesus-bumperstickered SUV to mall".
 
2012-07-06 06:02:02 AM
Has anyone mentioned that it's hot?

Cuz it's hot.

But it's a dry heat down there in Arizona.

I don't see any reason for the stuff that is going on if the perspiration can expire.
 
2012-07-06 06:06:17 AM

LordJiro: dr_geek: "police fished a naked Chris Brown out of Tempe Town Lake and found drug paraphernalia in his possession."

So... where exactly did he stash his drug paraphernalia while "[eluding] authorities for more than an hour, swimming nude in the lake."?

In his socks apparently.

Police said Brown is facing charges of indecent
exposure, failure to identify, obstruction of a public
thoroughfare, defecating in public, possession of
drug paraphernalia, and use of water for swimming.
They're joking right?

In the police cruiser.
Probably where he took a dump.
 
2012-07-06 06:08:10 AM

libranoelrose: Has anyone mentioned that it's hot?

Cuz it's hot.

But it's a dry heat down there in Arizona.

I don't see any reason for the stuff that is going on if the perspiration can expire.


yever been to flagstaff in the winter? didnt think so.

AZ has several distinct topographical zones. Low desert from mexico to north of phoenix. this is wile e coyote crazy stupid hot "low desert".

go north of phoenix about an hour, you go up quite a bit in altitude, the flora and fauna change and it starts to resemble colorado. scrub brush, sage, small cacti. its still desert, but nowhere near as awful. and you get those nice red rocks in sedona.

go further north from there, you go up even further in altitude, and youre in pine forests. feels more like western colorado. "high desert". dry air, high altitude, gorgeous. and lots of snow in winters. its more like Aspen or Durango CO than it is like Phoenix.
 
2012-07-06 06:14:27 AM
Ahh, Arizona. The Florida of the western U.S.
 
2012-07-06 06:15:53 AM

dr_geek: "police fished a naked Chris Brown out of Tempe Town Lake and found drug paraphernalia in his possession."

So... where exactly did he stash his drug paraphernalia while "[eluding] authorities for more than an hour, swimming nude in the lake."?


What is it about the perversity of human character that leads us to ask questions to which we REALLY don't want to know the answers?
 
2012-07-06 06:17:08 AM
img195.imageshack.us

/ ouch
 
2012-07-06 06:17:20 AM
police fished a naked Chris Brown out of Tempe Town Lake and found drug paraphernalia

No Rihanna jokes yet?
 
2012-07-06 06:20:29 AM

Neondistraction: Ahh, Arizona. The Florida of the western U.S.


yeah you may be on to something there.

they just dont have any cubans there. but the nouveau riche mcmansions mixed with the old school rednecks on meth in their sleeveless metal shirts...

arizona reminded me more of texas without the accent. but the FL analogy'll do.
 
2012-07-06 06:21:07 AM
If these people are under the influence of narcotics

One of my pet peeves with journalism about drugs.

That and the fact that no one can use illegal drugs, they can only "abuse" them.
 
2012-07-06 06:43:16 AM

fusillade762: If these people are under the influence of narcotics

One of my pet peeves with journalism about drugs.

That and the fact that no one can use illegal drugs, they can only "abuse" them.


You don't read about the people who just "use" them in the newspapers - they don't get caught.
 
2012-07-06 06:48:49 AM
Bath salts?

I am thinking Scopolamine...
 
2012-07-06 07:19:04 AM
When the hell are people going to quit calling it bath salts and call it what it is, THC or tetrahydrocanabinoids which in California are actually legal to synthesize. It's like all the morons want to legalize the shiat so they ignore the hundreds of years of Thuggee history where the worshippers of Shiva would get hopped up on hashish and go out and kill a bunch of people, usually caravan travelers, steal their stuff and mutilate and hide their bodies. These folks were known as hashishans which became assassins. The British actually had to mount a military campaign to wipe out the cult because it was so powerful. There's a lot more eating people's faces on THC history than is generally realized.

It's like homeless, a word the mainstream media reserves for feelgood stories about some family or even a dog but if some kid gets raped and murdered on the way home from school suddenly it was done by a "transient."
 
2012-07-06 07:26:55 AM

diaphoresis: Why isn't there an Arizona tag yet?


Damn it people, vote this man up! Arizona is firmly deserving of this award.
 
2012-07-06 07:40:35 AM
I'm surprised they didn't blame illegal aliens.
 
2012-07-06 07:51:28 AM
With climate change, heat like this is going to bring of us,drug users or not, into a sweaty, panting, naked future. Better hit the gym everyone!
 
2012-07-06 07:59:10 AM

OscarTamerz: When the hell are people going to quit calling it bath salts and call it what it is, THC or tetrahydrocanabinoids which in California are actually legal to synthesize.


there are many things wrong with this paragraph.
 
2012-07-06 08:06:22 AM
I thought it was Arizona state law that all crime must be blamed on illegal immigrants?
 
2012-07-06 08:07:43 AM

nburghmatt: OscarTamerz: When the hell are people going to quit calling it bath salts and call it what it is, THC or tetrahydrocanabinoids which in California are actually legal to synthesize.

there are many things wrong with this paragraph.


Also Thuggees have nothing to do with hashishans.
Hell, the whole post is derp.
 
2012-07-06 08:11:32 AM
He's probably just trying to avoid that whole "Show me your papers, comrade" thing.
 
2012-07-06 08:14:51 AM

OscarTamerz: When the hell are people going to quit calling it bath salts and call it what it is, THC or tetrahydrocanabinoids which in California are actually legal to synthesize. It's like all the morons want to legalize the shiat so they ignore the hundreds of years of Thuggee history where the worshippers of Shiva would get hopped up on hashish and go out and kill a bunch of people, usually caravan travelers, steal their stuff and mutilate and hide their bodies. These folks were known as hashishans which became assassins. The British actually had to mount a military campaign to wipe out the cult because it was so powerful. There's a lot more eating people's faces on THC history than is generally realized.

It's like homeless, a word the mainstream media reserves for feelgood stories about some family or even a dog but if some kid gets raped and murdered on the way home from school suddenly it was done by a "transient."


Obvious troll is obvious. You revealed yourself in the very first sentence, that's just poor form.

0/10
/ and may god have mercy on your soul
 
2012-07-06 08:17:09 AM
bath salts are amazing. if you're willing to break the law then you will. if your a good person you won't
 
2012-07-06 08:19:49 AM

OscarTamerz: Thuggee history where the worshippers of Shiva would get hopped up on hashish and go out and kill a bunch of people, usually caravan travelers, steal their stuff and mutilate and hide their bodies. These folks were known as hashishans which became assassins. The British actually had to mount a military campaign to wipe out the cult because it was so powerful. There's a lot more eating people's faces on THC history than is generally realized.


While all this is historically accurate, you're still kinda derpy
 
2012-07-06 08:24:10 AM

OscarTamerz: When the hell are people going to quit calling it bath salts and call it what it is, THC or tetrahydrocanabinoids which in California are actually legal to synthesize. It's like all the morons want to legalize the shiat so they ignore the hundreds of years of Thuggee history where the worshippers of Shiva would get hopped up on hashish and go out and kill a bunch of people, usually caravan travelers, steal their stuff and mutilate and hide their bodies. These folks were known as hashishans which became assassins. The British actually had to mount a military campaign to wipe out the cult because it was so powerful. There's a lot more eating people's faces on THC history than is generally realized.

It's like homeless, a word the mainstream media reserves for feelgood stories about some family or even a dog but if some kid gets raped and murdered on the way home from school suddenly it was done by a "transient."


i.imgur.com
 
2012-07-06 08:35:22 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Maybe it's just really hot. Hell, if I was living in that scorching desert, I'd want to be naked all the time too.


Sam Kinison Effect -
 
2012-07-06 08:55:35 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-07-06 09:11:36 AM
I've seen way more people rippin their clothes off because they're drunk than because they're on drugs.

Drugs may have a higher percentage chance of making any given person get naked in any given encounter.
But there are so many more people getting drunk, so much more often, I don't see how drugs could ever contribute to a notable fraction of total incidence.

Also, naked people are typically stopped/taken-care-of by those around them. (If your buddy's blitzed and running around in his drawers, the default move is to spend some effort trying to keep him from getting himself on a sex offender registry.) So I'd only expect the cops would show up for naked-person calls when people are gettin trashed by themselves. Which means the cops may be presenting an honest perception, but it still sounds like a self-selected data set. to me.

If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say someone's about to run for office on a "tough on crime" angle and had their PR people slip some pre-formed expert bullshiat to some dependable hacks.
 
2012-07-06 09:16:45 AM
There are experts in the behavior of naked men in Arizona? Do tell...
 
2012-07-06 09:17:26 AM
I'm goin' with the heat. Some days when the Sun is 35 feet above ground level, you just wanna take off your skin and lay around in your bones.

/saw a dog chasin' a rabbit, yesterday
//they was both walking
 
2012-07-06 09:25:51 AM

ringersol: I've seen way more people rippin their clothes off because they're drunk than because they're on drugs.

Drugs may have a higher percentage chance of making any given person get naked in any given encounter.
But there are so many more people getting drunk, so much more often, I don't see how drugs could ever contribute to a notable fraction of total incidence.

Also, naked people are typically stopped/taken-care-of by those around them. (If your buddy's blitzed and running around in his drawers, the default move is to spend some effort trying to keep him from getting himself on a sex offender registry.) So I'd only expect the cops would show up for naked-person calls when people are gettin trashed by themselves. Which means the cops may be presenting an honest perception, but it still sounds like a self-selected data set. to me.

If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say someone's about to run for office on a "tough on crime" angle and had their PR people slip some pre-formed expert bullshiat to some dependable hacks.


SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP!!!!
 
2012-07-06 09:35:33 AM

dr_geek: exactly


Not sure if serious question but:

In his clothes on the shore.

Before anyone asks, YES, that is technically "in his possession"
 
2012-07-06 09:36:22 AM

dr_geek: "police fished a naked Chris Brown out of Tempe Town Lake and found drug paraphernalia in his possession."

So... where exactly did he stash his drug paraphernalia while "[eluding] authorities for more than an hour, swimming nude in the lake."?


That was what I was quoting, sorry
 
2012-07-06 09:39:58 AM

diaphoresis: Why isn't there an Arizona tag yet?


Because, despite everyone losing their shiat over sheriff Joe and the illegal immigrant issue, we are still nowhere as whacked out as Florida.
 
2012-07-06 09:46:04 AM

ringersol: I've seen way more people rippin their clothes off because they're drunk than because they're on drugs.

Drugs may have a higher percentage chance of making any given person get naked in any given encounter.
But there are so many more people getting drunk, so much more often, I don't see how drugs could ever contribute to a notable fraction of total incidence.

Also, naked people are typically stopped/taken-care-of by those around them. (If your buddy's blitzed and running around in his drawers, the default move is to spend some effort trying to keep him from getting himself on a sex offender registry.) So I'd only expect the cops would show up for naked-person calls when people are gettin trashed by themselves. Which means the cops may be presenting an honest perception, but it still sounds like a self-selected data set. to me.

If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say someone's about to run for office on a "tough on crime" angle and had their PR people slip some pre-formed expert bullshiat to some dependable hacks.


"Bath Salts" and "Spice" - used to carry synthetic versions of narcotics - often cause the user's heart rate to jump to 185 and is accompanied by a feeling of heat.

This isn't about drug users in general, really.... real pot won't make you so hot you tear off your clothes. Bath salts will, and since it's accompanied usually by a psychotic episode, the users typically don't care about what they are actually doing.
 
2012-07-06 10:00:09 AM

Marcintosh: AverageAmericanGuy: Maybe it's just really hot. Hell, if I was living in that scorching desert, I'd want to be naked all the time too.

Sam Kinison Effect -


Maybe they should MOVE TO WHERE THE COOL IS.
 
2012-07-06 10:02:41 AM
They escaped from Jan Brewers nightly feeding.
 
2012-07-06 10:11:24 AM
Sure are alot of crazy naked people stories lately.
I'm wondering if this is just media hysteria or if someones really adding something new to the drugs.

/Or if the ATF/DEA just wants more funding and a new ban.
 
2012-07-06 10:33:09 AM
It is quite warm there. Perhaps they were trying to mitigate the heat, while they were working.
 
2012-07-06 10:48:20 AM
i got busted walking down the highway naked one time.
I told the cops I was tripping balls on acid, and my dog dared me to do it.
I didn't want to tell him that I was just bored and it was Tuesday
 
2012-07-06 10:53:36 AM

DontMakeMeComeBackThere: dr_geek: "police fished a naked Chris Brown out of Tempe Town Lake and found drug paraphernalia in his possession."

So... where exactly did he stash his drug paraphernalia while "[eluding] authorities for more than an hour, swimming nude in the lake."?

Not sure if serious question but:

In his clothes on the shore.

Before anyone asks, YES, that is technically "in his possession"


Wasn't really a serious question, but damn good answer -- that actually makes sense!
 
2012-07-06 10:55:41 AM

OscarTamerz: When the hell are people going to quit calling it bath salts and call it what it is, THC or tetrahydrocanabinoids which in California are actually legal to synthesize. It's like all the morons want to legalize the shiat so they ignore the hundreds of years of Thuggee history where the worshippers of Shiva would get hopped up on hashish and go out and kill a bunch of people, usually caravan travelers, steal their stuff and mutilate and hide their bodies. These folks were known as hashishans which became assassins. The British actually had to mount a military campaign to wipe out the cult because it was so powerful. There's a lot more eating people's faces on THC history than is generally realized.

It's like homeless, a word the mainstream media reserves for feelgood stories about some family or even a dog but if some kid gets raped and murdered on the way home from school suddenly it was done by a "transient."


Wrong synthetic drug there, buddy. See: MDPV
 
2012-07-06 10:56:09 AM
"Look, it was hot and I was hungry, okay?"
 
2012-07-06 11:04:13 AM
As a current resident, I feel it necessary to point out that it is f*cking HOT in AZ right about now. Going about your daily business in absolutely no clothing probably sounds like a fantastic idea to even the least inebriated mind. Personally, I estimate that I'd give it serious consideration after a couple beers.

/NOT a dry heat at present... effing monsoon humidity makes 105 feel like 115.
 
2012-07-06 11:06:12 AM

Party Boy: Like Lady gaga on bath salts


son, i am disappoint.
 
2012-07-06 11:13:08 AM
Donde estas mi Arizona tag?
 
2012-07-06 11:14:50 AM

Otherwise Just Fine: OscarTamerz: When the hell are people going to quit calling it bath salts and call it what it is, THC or tetrahydrocanabinoids which in California are actually legal to synthesize. It's like all the morons want to legalize the shiat so they ignore the hundreds of years of Thuggee history where the worshippers of Shiva would get hopped up on hashish and go out and kill a bunch of people, usually caravan travelers, steal their stuff and mutilate and hide their bodies. These folks were known as hashishans which became assassins. The British actually had to mount a military campaign to wipe out the cult because it was so powerful. There's a lot more eating people's faces on THC history than is generally realized.

It's like homeless, a word the mainstream media reserves for feelgood stories about some family or even a dog but if some kid gets raped and murdered on the way home from school suddenly it was done by a "transient."

Wrong synthetic drug there, buddy. See: MDPV


that's illegal but they can put it in "bath salts" cause they change the compound around so it's not even close to MDPV anymore
and it's ELEGAL!!!
 
2012-07-06 11:25:13 AM

Eatin' Queer Fetuses for Jesus: Marcintosh: AverageAmericanGuy: Maybe it's just really hot. Hell, if I was living in that scorching desert, I'd want to be naked all the time too.

Sam Kinison Effect -

Maybe they should MOVE TO WHERE THE COOL IS.


Trouble is: When you're cool, the sun shines on you 24 hours a day.

-Vince Latello
 
2012-07-06 12:23:59 PM

dr_geek: DontMakeMeComeBackThere: dr_geek: "police fished a naked Chris Brown out of Tempe Town Lake and found drug paraphernalia in his possession."

So... where exactly did he stash his drug paraphernalia while "[eluding] authorities for more than an hour, swimming nude in the lake."?

Not sure if serious question but:

In his clothes on the shore.

Before anyone asks, YES, that is technically "in his possession"


In his socks actually.

Also -
Police said Brown is facing charges of indecent
exposure, failure to identify, obstruction of a public
thoroughfare, defecating in public, possession of
drug paraphernalia, and use of water for swimming.
They're joking right?

/bet he took a dump in the police cruiser
 
2012-07-06 12:40:42 PM
LesserEvil: ""Bath Salts" and "Spice" ... often cause the user's heart rate to jump to 185 and is accompanied by a feeling of heat."

I never said Bath Salts and Spice weren't a factor. My post was to point out they're hardly unique and hardly representative of which substances are responsible for most occurrences of socially-unacceptable nakedness. Again: when your drunk/stoned/X'd buddy decides to rip his shiat off, you (and/or a bouncer) typically shut that down well before the cops get involved. So what the cops see simply isn't a representative sample.

And blaming a single narcotic for a side-effect that many have long produced is simply not useful.
 
2012-07-06 12:45:59 PM
way south: "Sure are alot of crazy naked people stories lately."

It's summer -- and hotter than usual in many places.
It's an election year, and tough-on-crime/tough-on-drugs is a go-to angle.
News has long been observed to pile-on to a story meme -- particularly when it involves salacious elements.

There could be a legit trend. But we could never be sure with our press.
All we can say for sure is that it's at least as big a problem as Shark Attacks and apparently still trivial compared to missing white girls.
 
2012-07-06 01:13:55 PM

libranoelrose: But it's a dry heat down there in Arizona.


Subjectively, that makes about ten degrees of difference in how comfortable you are. For example, we keep our house at 82F, while we used to keep it at 72F in the midwest.

But if it's 115F, that doesn't mean squat. "Feels like 105F" still sucks.
 
2012-07-06 01:15:34 PM
Heck, I live in phoenix and agree we need an Arizona tag.

/my tires just melted.
 
2012-07-06 03:22:34 PM

Lathe: Heck, I live in phoenix and agree we need an Arizona tag.

/my tires just melted.


You sure you're not in Casa Grande?
 
2012-07-06 05:19:22 PM

raygundan: libranoelrose: But it's a dry heat down there in Arizona.

Subjectively, that makes about ten degrees of difference in how comfortable you are. For example, we keep our house at 82F, while we used to keep it at 72F in the midwest.

But if it's 115F, that doesn't mean squat. "Feels like 105F" still sucks.


I agree.

i.imgur.com
 
2012-07-07 10:54:53 PM
Bath Salts.
 
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