If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Orlando Sentinel)   If you're a teen boy, you never want your first sexual encounter to be alone in a hotel room with a cross-dressing housekeeper who calls himself "Vanessa"   (articles.orlandosentinel.com) divider line 91
    More: Florida, Human sexual activity, hotels  
•       •       •

8497 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jul 2012 at 9:32 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



91 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-07-05 08:47:48 PM
According to Fark, you can identify as any gender you want, and a teenage boy's first sexual experience with an older woman is to be encouraged. There's not a problem here, subby. It's like two of Fark's cherished ideals got together for a story.

The only way to make this story better is if the maid was in the country illegal. Bonus points for any distant relation to George Zimmerman.
 
2012-07-05 08:48:48 PM

Lsherm: illegal


One day the auto correct will not failed me.
 
2012-07-05 08:57:03 PM
Or Maybe You Do.

/whatever floats your boat.
 
2012-07-05 09:07:27 PM
Don't put words in my mouth, subby.
 
2012-07-05 09:33:42 PM
Says you, Straightmitter.
 
2012-07-05 09:34:46 PM
What if you meet her in a club down in old Soho?
 
2012-07-05 09:35:25 PM
Gotta love how the article starts with "she" and switches to "he" at the end. Makes you wonder if it's lazy journalism, or if the author is intentionally trolling the transexual community.
 
2012-07-05 09:35:28 PM
Lsherm: According to Fark, you can identify as any gender you want, and a teenage boy's first sexual experience with an older woman is to be encouraged. There's not a problem here, subby. It's like two of Fark's cherished ideals got together for a story.

The only way to make this story better is if the maid was in the country illegal. Bonus points for any distant relation to George Zimmerman.


Powerful, powerful derp to start the thread off with.
 
2012-07-05 09:36:06 PM

My Daddy Ate My Eyes: Says you, Straightmitter.


What is wrong with you? How could you have chosen that login?

Don't you know that most of us are trying to forget that story?

*shudder*

Also, that's a HARD 35.

www.trbimg.com
 
2012-07-05 09:36:16 PM
That vould be terrible!

www.nothingnewtreasures.com
 
2012-07-05 09:38:22 PM

Lsherm: According to Fark, you can identify as any gender you want, and a teenage boy's first sexual experience with an older woman is to be encouraged. There's not a problem here, subby. It's like two of Fark's cherished ideals got together for a story.

The only way to make this story better is if the maid was in the country illegal. Bonus points for any distant relation to George Zimmerman.


I'm all for people identifying themselves as whatever they want, but I appreciate the straightforwardness of these individuals to identify themselves as such ['tgirl89', etc]. I don't consider myself a homophobe but I don't find myself sufficiently open-minded to have teh secks with them.
 
2012-07-05 09:38:33 PM
It's been a long time. I'm 40 years old. I gladly repressed it for decades and YOU've gotta bring it back up subby?
 
2012-07-05 09:39:40 PM
The teen stepped back and Olmos told him, "You hot," the report said.

Olmos continued, saying "Smell pretty. Me like."
 
2012-07-05 09:39:40 PM

MrEricSir: Gotta love how the article starts with "she" and switches to "he" at the end. Makes you wonder if it's lazy journalism, or if the author is intentionally trolling the transexual community.


Girls will be boys and boys will be girls. It's a mixed up muddled up shook up world
 
2012-07-05 09:39:46 PM
Dad?
 
2012-07-05 09:41:03 PM
alone? Im sorry but wasnt Vanessa there?
 
2012-07-05 09:41:21 PM
I remember being a teenage boy. Having sex with someone who wore a dress was considered getting lucky
 
2012-07-05 09:42:41 PM

Lsherm: According to Fark, you can identify as any gender you want, and a teenage boy's first sexual experience with an older woman is to be encouraged. There's not a problem here, subby. It's like two of Fark's cherished ideals got together for a story.

The only way to make this story better is if the maid was in the country illegal. Bonus points for any distant relation to George Zimmerman.


If the kid had only

Lsherm: According to Fark, you can identify as any gender you want, and a teenage boy's first sexual experience with an older woman is to be encouraged. There's not a problem here, subby. It's like two of Fark's cherished ideals got together for a story.

The only way to make this story better is if the maid was in the country illegal. Bonus points for any distant relation to George Zimmerman.


I dunno. Are Republican kids to be taught to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, or bend over and grab their bootstraps?
 
2012-07-05 09:46:52 PM
I've got to book my next vacation at a Day's Inn!
 
2012-07-05 09:51:30 PM
Consensual and safe? Feel free to get your freak on.
 
2012-07-05 09:52:39 PM
Sharpie
 
2012-07-05 09:54:24 PM
Oh great, NOW you tell me. Thanks a hell of a lot, subby.
 
2012-07-05 09:56:13 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com

What kind of hotel is this?!
 
2012-07-05 09:56:31 PM
When I was a bisexual teenager my drag name was Vanessa. But I was the kind of drag queen who liked to swing his penis around: it ain't nearly as "transgressive" if nobody knows you're really a boy. And of course I had some experience with guys my own age who if they weren't gay would still go "a blowjob is a blowjob," and might even reciprocate "just to be fair."

But horning up on boys on vacation with their moms I considered in bad taste, and besides those biatches get so nasty when you cut in on their action.

Did I mention I'm considering an eventual campaign to become U.S. Senator from Kentucky? If these people will vote for Rand Paul they'll vote for anything in a Nazi uniform.
 
2012-07-05 09:58:14 PM
The One True TheDavid:

Did I mention I'm considering an eventual campaign to become U.S. Senator from Kentucky? If these people will vote for Rand Paul they'll vote for anything in a Nazi uniform.

I'll be running as "Vanessa, T-Girl of the SS."
 
2012-07-05 10:04:26 PM
What, his teacher didn't get him first?
 
2012-07-05 10:05:28 PM
When I was a teen. I wouldnta really cared... Plus... since he was a crossdressing housekeeper... he coulda helped my get all those socks unstuck from my walls.
 
2012-07-05 10:06:43 PM

The One True TheDavid: The One True TheDavid:

Did I mention I'm considering an eventual campaign to become U.S. Senator from Kentucky? If these people will vote for Rand Paul they'll vote for anything in a Nazi uniform.

I'll be running as "Vanessa, T-Girl of the SS."


Awesome
 
2012-07-05 10:08:08 PM
I met him in a swamp down in Dagoba... er, well Florida, close enough.
 
2012-07-05 10:09:53 PM

Lsherm: According to Fark, you can identify as any gender you want, and a teenage boy's first sexual experience with an older woman is to be encouraged. There's not a problem here, subby. It's like two of Fark's cherished ideals got together for a story.

The only way to make this story better is if the maid was in the country illegal. Bonus points for any distant relation to George Zimmerman.


It's a goddamn sad state of affairs when George Zimmerman has replaced George Costanza.
 
2012-07-05 10:11:09 PM
I'm not dumb, but I can't understand...
 
2012-07-05 10:11:30 PM
** SHUDDER ***

/going to get drunk and hope I forget about this headline
 
2012-07-05 10:13:42 PM

The One True TheDavid: When I was a bisexual teenager my drag name was Vanessa. But I was the kind of drag queen who liked to swing his penis around: it ain't nearly as "transgressive" if nobody knows you're really a boy. And of course I had some experience with guys my own age who if they weren't gay would still go "a blowjob is a blowjob," and might even reciprocate "just to be fair."


rofltic.com
 
2012-07-05 10:22:55 PM
Of course you don't.

You want it to be with your big, burly ex-college football player gym teacher/wrestling coach who always cluelessly insists on using you to demonstrate wrestling moves because you were an early bloomer and bigger than all the other kids which only leads to awkward boners and hours of frustrated masturbation when you think about how it felt to have 200lbs of sweaty, furry man lying on top of your teenage body that has enough hormones bubbling through it to qualify as a biohazard zone.


Wait...am I projecting again?
 
2012-07-05 10:28:12 PM
Sounds like a case of he said against he said to me.
 
2012-07-05 10:32:43 PM
So if you're an older man, this would be a dream made in heaven?
 
2012-07-05 10:33:01 PM

Brytanica1: Of course you don't.

You want it to be with your big, burly ex-college football player gym teacher/wrestling coach who always cluelessly insists on using you to demonstrate wrestling moves because you were an early bloomer and bigger than all the other kids which only leads to awkward boners and hours of frustrated masturbation when you think about how it felt to have 200lbs of sweaty, furry man lying on top of your teenage body that has enough hormones bubbling through it to qualify as a biohazard zone.


Wait...am I projecting again?


... I don't care what your projecting, do go on!
 
2012-07-05 10:33:31 PM
You mean I'm not the only one that happens too?
 
2012-07-05 10:34:14 PM
Linked on the same page as the article. Looks like they arrested the teen. Frankly, even at 14 I'd like to say I'd have higher standards.

Orlando police arrested a 14-year-old Georgia boy on charges that he tried to sexually batter a housekeeper while she was changing towels in his room at an International Drive hotel.
 
2012-07-05 10:37:07 PM

Boddhisatva: Linked on the same page as the article. Looks like they arrested the teen. Frankly, even at 14 I'd like to say I'd have higher standards.

Orlando police arrested a 14-year-old Georgia boy on charges that he tried to sexually batter a housekeeper while she was changing towels in his room at an International Drive hotel.


NotSureIfSerious.jpg

I don't think that's the same case.
 
2012-07-05 10:42:53 PM
"Says Yo---" darnit!

"L-O-L-" double darnit!!

"I know all there is to know about the crying game..."

"Crocodile Dundee feels your, uh...pain?"
 
2012-07-05 10:44:59 PM
"All of the sudden"

surprised nobody mentioned that one.
 
2012-07-05 10:45:33 PM
If you're a teen boy, you never want your first sexual encounter to be alone in a hotel room with a cross-dressing housekeeper who calls himself "Vanessa"

why the hell not???
 
2012-07-05 10:46:11 PM

Pray 4 Mojo: "All of the sudden"

surprised nobody mentioned that one.


Yeah... I do believe it's time to close up some tabs.
 
2012-07-05 10:48:08 PM

Need Help Soonish: Brytanica1: Of course you don't.

You want it to be with your big, burly ex-college football player gym teacher/wrestling coach who always cluelessly insists on using you to demonstrate wrestling moves because you were an early bloomer and bigger than all the other kids which only leads to awkward boners and hours of frustrated masturbation when you think about how it felt to have 200lbs of sweaty, furry man lying on top of your teenage body that has enough hormones bubbling through it to qualify as a biohazard zone.


Wait...am I projecting again?

... I don't care what your projecting, do go on!


Well said, don't stop now : )
 
2012-07-05 11:05:32 PM
a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net
Little boy, I'm gonna make you a man.
 
2012-07-05 11:18:02 PM
Some people pay good money for that sort of thing.

Or so I've read on teh intarwebs.
 
2012-07-05 11:26:48 PM
If I had been gay, into older guys, and had a soft spot in my heart for maids, I probably wouldn't have minded that at all, subby.

However, only the last of those things is true.
 
2012-07-05 11:32:49 PM
Her picture graced the grime on the door
 
2012-07-05 11:35:07 PM

Ghastly: [a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net image 429x720]
Little boy, I'm gonna make you a man.


Ghastly: [a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net image 429x720]
Little boy, I'm gonna make you a man.


I heard that in Dr. Frank-N-Furters voice... Egads Ghastly, your trying to kill me!

///Im gonna need a cold shower if this keeps up :/
 
Displayed 50 of 91 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report