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(610 WIOD)   Governor survives "carrot attack"   (610wiod.com) divider line 76
    More: Dumbass, Terry Branstad, Governors of Iowa  
•       •       •

8992 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jul 2012 at 12:51 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-05 09:52:01 AM  
"Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a carrot ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!"
 
2012-07-05 10:28:26 AM  
www.leezrteez.com
 
2012-07-05 10:46:26 AM  
I was expecting to see a story about Chris Christie being assaulted by someone from Jersey Shore.
 
2012-07-05 12:53:15 PM  
thegalleryofmonstertoys.com
 
2012-07-05 12:53:18 PM  

doyner: I was expecting to see a story about Chris Christie being assaulted by someone from Jersey Shore.


I thought someone had handed him a salad.
 
2012-07-05 12:53:52 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org

Police have released a sketch of the suspect.
 
2012-07-05 12:54:07 PM  
7-5-2012

Never Forget
 
2012-07-05 12:54:38 PM  
"Ehhhh....What's up,doc guv?"
 
2012-07-05 12:54:40 PM  
images2.wikia.nocookie.net
Proud.
 
2012-07-05 12:56:22 PM  
Needs to learn from a pro.


i.imgur.com
 
2012-07-05 12:58:59 PM  
carrots going on kamikaze attacks.... what's next suicide bomber tomatoes?
 
2012-07-05 12:59:49 PM  
weeklyworldnews.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-07-05 01:02:53 PM  
Damn Liberal DIMs. They'll use any weapon they can to try to bring down a good, honest American governor. Whoever is responsible for this attack should be punished to the fullest extent of the law, and then some!
 
2012-07-05 01:02:59 PM  
Now that he's prepared for carrots, passionfruit, bananas, cherries and plums he's ready to start learning how to defend against pointed sticks.
 
2012-07-05 01:03:36 PM  
And the angel of the lord came unto me, snatching me up from my place of slumber. And took me on high, and higher still until we moved to the spaces betwixt the air itself. And he brought me into a vast farmlands of our own midwest. And as we descended, cries of impending doom rose from the soil. One thousand, nay a million voices full of fear.

And terror possesed me then. And I begged, "Angel of the Lord, what are these tortured screams?" And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots! You see, Reverend Maynard, tomorrow is harvest day and to them it is the holocaust."

And I sprang from my slumber drenched in sweat like the tears of one million terrified brothers and roared, "Hear me now, I have seen the light! They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul! Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers!" Can I get an amen? Can I get a hallelujah? Thank you Jesus.
 
2012-07-05 01:07:28 PM  
So, it begins...

encrypted-tbn0.google.com
 
2012-07-05 01:07:30 PM  
I don't know how the governor does it, but I usually cut the carrot up into small bite-size pieces before eating them. Oh, and get rid of the top. Carrot tops are useless.
 
2012-07-05 01:07:34 PM  
With carrots like these, who needs the stick?
 
2012-07-05 01:08:04 PM  
The Navy most likely will blame the homosexuals. It worked with the previous USS Iowa accident:

Link
 
2012-07-05 01:10:31 PM  
The guy and his kids are accident prone.

One of the jokes that started when he was first elected Lt. Governor was that it raised highway safety by getting him out behind the wheel, given that he then had a driver. As a state senator, he was in a lot of traffic accidents.

In his first terms of governor, he broke his jaw while snow sledding on a golf course with his kids.

One of his sons carried on the family tradition of auto accidents, getting into several, one of which killed an elderly couple.
 
2012-07-05 01:10:51 PM  
He should have attended the training session at lunch.
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-07-05 01:12:34 PM  
I don't know. That Lyla Storm video I saw was compelling evidence to the contrary.
 
2012-07-05 01:13:16 PM  
Hmm. Wrong thread, but seems oddly appropriate after after the pics in here.
 
2012-07-05 01:13:44 PM  
justmytruth.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-07-05 01:17:44 PM  
www.theolddarkarthouse.com
 
WGJ
2012-07-05 01:17:48 PM  
Why can't stories like this ever have a happy ending?
 
2012-07-05 01:19:23 PM  
- W.H.Harrisson: Continue to deliver speech in bad weather. Die of pneumonia.
-Teddy Roosevelt: Get shot. Continue to deliver speech.
- G.W. Bush: Pass out from pretzel-related injuries.
- Terry Branstad: Undergo hospital tests because a carrot gave you the coughy-woughys.

Is it just me, or are politicians turning into colossal pussies here?

(Exception)
 
2012-07-05 01:25:07 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com

Can kill with a carrot
 
2012-07-05 01:29:16 PM  

Amper: - W.H.Harrisson: Continue to deliver speech in bad weather. Die of pneumonia.
-Teddy Roosevelt: Get shot. Continue to deliver speech.
- G.W. Bush: Pass out from pretzel-related injuries.
- Terry Branstad: Undergo hospital tests because a carrot gave you the coughy-woughys.

Is it just me, or are politicians turning into colossal pussies here?

(Exception)


So true. Rich political bound kids raised in the nanny state are little attention whores at heart, not just doing it for the image.
 
2012-07-05 01:30:18 PM  
Forgot the Sherman's Lagoon Rule: Never bite anything that bites back.

But I did have a chuckle for a mo' while imagining that some irrate public-minded citizen had finally acted on his threat to jam it the one place where the Sun don't shine on the British Empire or any other place.

Good work everybody on the graphics and other references.

Would an It Conquored the World reference be a bit too-far fetched?

That monster is one of the worst ever, and has been accurately compared to a carrot, although I think it looks more like a parsnip:

upload.wikimedia.org

It's basically the same dumb movie as Zontar, the Thing from Venus, only Peter Graves is in one and John Agar is in the other. Either name on a SF-Horror movie is your guarantee of entertainment value. Provided you are stoned, at least.
 
2012-07-05 01:33:29 PM  
 
2012-07-05 01:34:00 PM  
"The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror XI (#12.1)" (2000)

[Pulling broccoli from Homer's corpse]
Dr. Hibbert: Another broccoli-related death.
Marge: But I thought broccoli was...
Dr. Hibbert: Oh yes. One of the deadliest plants on earth. It tries to warn you itself with its terrible taste.
 
2012-07-05 01:36:58 PM  
City Watch Captain Carrot had no response.

Sergeant Angua was heard growling in the background.

(I've been re-reading Terry Pratchett's discworld)
 
2012-07-05 01:38:03 PM  
See...I knew there was a reason I hate carrots (aside from them tasting like shiat!)...farkas is out to kill us....
 
2012-07-05 01:40:29 PM  
a likely story. ten bucks says it was stuck in his butt.
 
2012-07-05 01:40:37 PM  
images2.wikia.nocookie.net

/hot
 
2012-07-05 01:49:42 PM  

bongmiester: a likely story. ten bucks says it was stuck in his butt.


Obviously - They already said he choked on it. So it had to be where his head was in the first place.
 
2012-07-05 01:56:14 PM  
This may have just ended Braindead's attempt to get on the Rmoney ticket.

His refusal of Federal funds to implement the ACA was clearly posturing for the veep slot.
 
2012-07-05 01:56:46 PM  

brantgoose: Forgot the Sherman's Lagoon Rule: Never bite anything that bites back.

But I did have a chuckle for a mo' while imagining that some irrate public-minded citizen had finally acted on his threat to jam it the one place where the Sun don't shine on the British Empire or any other place.

Good work everybody on the graphics and other references.

Would an It Conquored the World reference be a bit too-far fetched?

That monster is one of the worst ever, and has been accurately compared to a carrot, although I think it looks more like a parsnip:

[upload.wikimedia.org image 325x517]

It's basically the same dumb movie as Zontar, the Thing from Venus, only Peter Graves is in one and John Agar is in the other. Either name on a SF-Horror movie is your guarantee of entertainment value. Provided you are stoned, at least.


i1136.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-05 01:58:31 PM  
I love the Attack of the Killer Tomato toys. Very neat collectible.

I have a packet of "Attack of the Killer Tomato" seeds on my refrigerator which came with the movie or perhaps it was "Return of the Killer Tomatoes" (with John Astin, aka Gomez Addams). There is a third movie in which the Killer Tomatoes attack France. It is not as much fun as the first two movies, naturally. It is not easy to replicate a good B-movie. The Skeleton of Cadavra is a reasonably successful attempt, as is the other movie the same people did.

Lobster Boy from Mars and Amazon Women on the Moon have their charms if you like that sort of thing. I have yet to see Cannibal Women of the Avocado Jungle, which features Bill Maher.

As for movies about food that eats you, The Stuff is in my pile somewhere, unwatched as of yet, but I have Bad Taste where aliens turn New Zelanders into fast food.

The Stuff (1985) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090094/

But I digress.

Perhaps I should draw up a list of horror and SF movies with food themes:

Bad Taste
The Stuff
Sleeper
Black Sheep
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes & sequels
The Food of the Gods
It Conquored the World
The Beginning of the End
(because the grasshoppers were created by agricultural research and technically people do eat a lot of locusts when the locusts aren't eating a lot of people)
Them! (because what's a picnic without ants)
Empire of the Ants (ditto--also has a sugar theme)
The Swarm (bees make honey--OK enough with the giant insect movies)
Teenagers from Outer Space (the giant lobsters released to feed the aliens were meant to feed on humans)
Soylent Green (people as food but not in the trite cannibal sense)
The Rocky Horror Picture Show (Not meatloaf again!)
The Day of the Triffids (they were grown for fuel but also, IIRC, edible oil)
The Little Shop of Horrors (OK, maybe this plant was decorative rather than a food plant, but I've already stretched the definition of food themes)
District 9 (catfood as an addictive substance)
Alien Nation (sour milk as a drug)

Honorary mention: the episode of Dinosaurs where the food "goes bad"

And here is a great list of fictional plants, some of which are quite deadly or menacing:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fictional_plants
 
2012-07-05 02:02:59 PM  
And really, I am surprised that nobody mentioned George H.W. Bush, Sr. and his War on Broccoli.

That family has some food issues. They don't seem to know how to eat. Perhaps it is from subsisting on a largely liquid diet for so long. Or maybe they really are our Evil Reptilian Overlords and they have a hard time swallowing anything that isn't squirming.
 
2012-07-05 02:04:20 PM  

brantgoose: Forgot the Sherman's Lagoon Rule: Never bite anything that bites back.

But I did have a chuckle for a mo' while imagining that some irrate public-minded citizen had finally acted on his threat to jam it the one place where the Sun don't shine on the British Empire or any other place.

Good work everybody on the graphics and other references.

Would an It Conquored the World reference be a bit too-far fetched?

That monster is one of the worst ever, and has been accurately compared to a carrot, although I think it looks more like a parsnip:

[upload.wikimedia.org image 325x517]

It's basically the same dumb movie as Zontar, the Thing from Venus, only Peter Graves is in one and John Agar is in the other. Either name on a SF-Horror movie is your guarantee of entertainment value. Provided you are stoned, at least.


"Cheepnis"!
 
2012-07-05 02:06:46 PM  
Now I don't like the guy, he hands anything over fist for 'business', is working towards farking over state pension benefits while he draws multiple ones, has no problems raising taxes on normal folks to subsidize business savings, and shifted the brunt of healthcare/disability funding to the local/county level to deal with because restructuring is cool and shifting to local taxes are the wave of the future!

Oh yeah, but that's still no way to go son, especially on the USS Iowa
 
2012-07-05 02:11:09 PM  
Some claimed James Arness looked like a giant carrot.
 
2012-07-05 02:16:02 PM  

Amper: - W.H.Harrisson: Continue to deliver speech in bad weather. Die of pneumonia.
-Teddy Roosevelt: Get shot. Continue to deliver speech.
- G.W. Bush: Pass out from pretzel-related injuries.
- Terry Branstad: Undergo hospital tests because a carrot gave you the coughy-woughys.

Is it just me, or are politicians turning into colossal pussies here?

(Exception)


You forgot the Shawinigan Handshake
 
2012-07-05 02:17:11 PM  
Better luck next time, carrots.
 
2012-07-05 02:26:55 PM  
ApatheticMonkey: Amper: - W.H.Harrisson: Continue to deliver speech in bad weather. Die of pneumonia.
-Teddy Roosevelt: Get shot. Continue to deliver speech.
- G.W. Bush: Pass out from pretzel-related injuries.
- Terry Branstad: Undergo hospital tests because a carrot gave you the coughy-woughys.

Is it just me, or are politicians turning into colossal pussies here?

(Exception)

You forgot the Shawinigan Handshake



Holy crap. I have new respect for Canadians.
 
2012-07-05 02:32:28 PM  
images.wikia.com

Fortunately, he was able to RELEASE THE TIGER!

/i mean, that's the FIRST thing to try
//if you don't have a 10-ton weight overhead, of course
 
2012-07-05 02:33:53 PM  

Nasty_McFilth: And the angel of the lord came unto me, snatching me up from my place of slumber. And took me on high, and higher still until we moved to the spaces betwixt the air itself. And he brought me into a vast farmlands of our own midwest. And as we descended, cries of impending doom rose from the soil. One thousand, nay a million voices full of fear.

And terror possesed me then. And I begged, "Angel of the Lord, what are these tortured screams?" And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots! You see, Reverend Maynard, tomorrow is harvest day and to them it is the holocaust."

And I sprang from my slumber drenched in sweat like the tears of one million terrified brothers and roared, "Hear me now, I have seen the light! They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul! Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers!" Can I get an amen? Can I get a hallelujah? Thank you Jesus.


This is necessary.
 
2012-07-05 02:34:29 PM  

bongmiester: a likely story. ten bucks says it was stuck in his butt.


He's a Republican fatcat. He assumedly had two carrots, one for his pooper and the other for oral fixations.
 
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