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(Newsnet5)   July 5th is a National Fark Day. It's the day all farkers share 'what the hell happened yesterday?' thread   (newsnet5.com) divider line 121
    More: Interesting, South Main Street, Akron  
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2155 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jul 2012 at 10:35 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-05 09:41:37 AM
Work happened, that's what.

/just another day
 
2012-07-05 09:48:54 AM
Tahitian Punch.

I don't remember much else.
 
2012-07-05 10:14:10 AM
Red, white, and blue frozen fruity drinks - very patriotic.
 
2012-07-05 10:36:46 AM
Ran a 5 mile race in 90 degree heat and slept the rest of the day.
 
2012-07-05 10:36:48 AM
Nothing. Too farking hot.
 
2012-07-05 10:37:56 AM
Supid stuipd me did not take off of work today my freeking head hurts very bad.
 
2012-07-05 10:38:10 AM
Poop came out.
 
2012-07-05 10:40:17 AM
I hate parades, but we took our 4-year-old twins..and it was actually cool. Then swimming and then put the kids to bed and got incredibly drunk and watched the Twilight Zone marathon.
 
2012-07-05 10:40:36 AM
Started with a "Good Morning" from the wife, then continued as a nice and relaxing day. I wish I could have done the same things today...
 
2012-07-05 10:40:52 AM
i grilled some food, and worked some
 
2012-07-05 10:40:54 AM
Isn't every fark thread a what happened yesterday or last month kind of thread?
 
2012-07-05 10:41:01 AM
I don't recall, which means I am doing it right!

BOOYAH
 
2012-07-05 10:41:20 AM
Made my godparents feel bad cause they had nothing but Strawberry based deserts for the July 4th Traditional BBQ we have.

And I did not have to try hard. Just had to say that I was allergic to strawberries, which I really am, and they were sorry.

/Did not care though. Was fun anyways.
 
2012-07-05 10:43:49 AM
Spent it recovering after seeing Def Leppard, Poison, and Lita Ford perform in Nashville on July 3rd.
 
2012-07-05 10:44:16 AM
Sat on my deck with a beer, full slab of ribs, and sweat pouring down my face from the heat. In other words, being a true American!
 
2012-07-05 10:46:29 AM
Grilled massive quantities of meat, made corn, potatoes, zucchini and pasta salad. All was going well, till my fiance's ex-wife called and came over with 5 hungry kids, after we had finished eating. They did clear up all the leftovers though. You can see fireworks from our house so it's pretty much open house on the 4th at my house.

We had a lot of fun.
 
2012-07-05 10:46:35 AM
Still no power, so I sweated....a lot.
 
2012-07-05 10:46:48 AM
morning: gym, godzilla vs. megagurius w/ 3 year old son
afternoon: pool, laying out, tossing son into pool, off of wave runner floatie, sandwiches, wife had a margarita, nap
evening: grilled chicken and veggies, son's first firework show

great day, wish all Wednesdays could be like that. Best part, i remember it all!
 
2012-07-05 10:47:15 AM
Dimethyltryptamine
 
2012-07-05 10:47:43 AM
Cooked 1000 hamburgers in the morning for the community 4th of July parade

Afternoon spent bbq'ing ribs by my Mom's family bbq.

Evening was spent getting the community fireworks display setup up. Show went off without a hitch

Night, spent all night on a brush fire that threatened 20 homes. Yeah, someone else's fireworks show had a hitch

Now, at work, no sleep. Exhausted.
 
2012-07-05 10:47:56 AM
I was stuck at the big fireworks show in downtown Phoenix, and let me tell you, when they derp, they herp. What a bunch of clueless maroons.... Made me want to move to farking France.... And my family has lived on this continent for 500 years.
 
2012-07-05 10:48:10 AM
Got up, got out of bed, dragged a comb across my head.
 
2012-07-05 10:48:15 AM
I had a dozen oysters on a half shell with Montauk calamari as well as a New England crab cake and seared shrimp and scallops for lunch.

Then I got a haircut. And then I had hibachi for dinner.

That's what I did yesterday.
 
2012-07-05 10:48:36 AM
Shot a horrible round of golf in 100 degree weather. Had one Heineken.
 
2012-07-05 10:49:01 AM
I drank about three gallons of Sangria and ate all the fruit

I feel llike a $100 dollars today, and expect today to be VERY productive.

And by that, I mean poop.
 
2012-07-05 10:49:30 AM
Went to a baseball game. Ate some Primanti's. Spilled beer all over some poor woman's belongings. Got reprimanded by an usher for swearing too much. Left in the 5th inning because we were completely shiatfaced and it was over 100 degrees in the seats.

Continued drinking for another hour.

Went to a cookout. Continued drinking for another hour. Had to take someone home at some point because she was too wasted to operate on even a basic level.

Went to a bar. Continued drinking for another hour.

Went to another bar. Played lots of pool. Continued drinking for another three hours.

Went home, ready to pass out.

Someone shows up 20 minutes later with a fifth of Jameson. Continued drinking for another three hours.

At some point during the last round I must have taken a spill, because I've got an awful lot of bruises that persist as evidence.

And today, miraculously, I feel like a million dollars. The rest of my partying companions are still sleeping and missing a day of work.

AMERICA.
 
2012-07-05 10:50:21 AM
Nothing. I used my day off to clean my house. So exciting.
 
2012-07-05 10:55:42 AM
Went to a cookout... had some beers... saw a lady upset because somebody drank her "top-shelf" booze... laughed hysterically!

/didn't know 'Hypnotic' was top-shelf
 
2012-07-05 10:56:14 AM

Degenerate Monkey: Went to a baseball game. Ate some Primanti's. Spilled beer all over some poor woman's belongings. Got reprimanded by an usher for swearing too much. Left in the 5th inning because we were completely shiatfaced and it was over 100 degrees in the seats.

Continued drinking for another hour.

Went to a cookout. Continued drinking for another hour. Had to take someone home at some point because she was too wasted to operate on even a basic level.

Went to a bar. Continued drinking for another hour.

Went to another bar. Played lots of pool. Continued drinking for another three hours.

Went home, ready to pass out.

Someone shows up 20 minutes later with a fifth of Jameson. Continued drinking for another three hours.

At some point during the last round I must have taken a spill, because I've got an awful lot of bruises that persist as evidence.

And today, miraculously, I feel like a million dollars. The rest of my partying companions are still sleeping and missing a day of work.

AMERICA.


This is about right. Thanks for saving me from having to type it
 
2012-07-05 10:56:34 AM
There was a rented margarita machine, a zip-line and a slip n slide. This is all that I know for certain.
 
2012-07-05 10:56:51 AM
Fireworks on the National Mall. Always wanted to sit at the base of the Washington Monument on the 4th!

/in before phallic jokes
 
2012-07-05 10:57:34 AM
Tried the crock pot pork spare ribs recipe. 6 hours Kansas City dry rub in a dry crock pot, low heat, then flash BBQ for bark effect. Fall off the bone, all the fat in a pool in the crock pot bottom. Nothing but lean meat and bone on the plate. I'll be doing that again big time.
 
2012-07-05 10:58:07 AM

CapeFearCadaver: Nothing. I used my day off to clean my house. So exciting.


This.

Well, my wife did most of the cleaning, but I helped.
 
2012-07-05 10:58:38 AM
Party of 6 had a clam-bake at a friend's house. After scotch, vodak, gin and too many cigars, I was on spacer therapy for the remainder of the evening. If I was going to make it to work today, the absinthe would have to wait until another time.
 
2012-07-05 10:58:41 AM
Spent all yesterday with my wife and daughter. It was our first full day at home with the kid, who was born on Monday.
 
2012-07-05 11:01:08 AM

lithappens: Spent all yesterday with my wife and daughter. It was our first full day at home with the kid, who was born on Monday.


Congrats!
 
2012-07-05 11:01:21 AM

lithappens: Spent all yesterday with my wife and daughter. It was our first full day at home with the kid, who was born on Monday.


Winner, thread over.
 
2012-07-05 11:01:47 AM
Went selling ice cream in the 'hood, then headed down to Nancy Whiskey's in Corktown. Partook in the pig roast, then started heading home when the raindrops started falling. Was ONE BLOCK north of the bar when a car ran a stop sign and damn near T-boned me and the ride. Yeah, I know, Detroit, shoulda known better than to go through an intersection without checking, right of way be damned!

Right after that near accident, the downpour started, and I got over to the Motor City casino parking garage to wait out the storm. Had I been 2 minutes quicker, I would not have been wet, but I was soaked. I had to wait two hours for the rain to slow down enough for the ride home. I didn't want to go into the casino with a wet shirt, so it was a kinda boring wait for 2 hours.

Spent the rest of the evening lighting off cheap fireworks, which were about as effiective as North Korean ballistic missles. Kept blowing up at launch, or fizzling out, or doing backflips. Only about a third launched correctly.

You know, when I said I'd be at the Royal Oak Fark party, barring death or disability? Might have to stay off the bike for a while.

/2 near misses in 2 weeks
//time to get a new job!
 
2012-07-05 11:02:25 AM

tkwasny: Tried the crock pot pork spare ribs recipe. 6 hours Kansas City dry rub in a dry crock pot, low heat, then flash BBQ for bark effect. Fall off the bone, all the fat in a pool in the crock pot bottom. Nothing but lean meat and bone on the plate. I'll be doing that again big time.


Wow those sound amazing....ly horrible.

Mushy pork with no smoke?

Sorry bro, you are doing it wrong
 
2012-07-05 11:03:01 AM
If you woke up with a used condom hanging out of your ass, it wasn't me.
 
2012-07-05 11:04:06 AM

lithappens: Spent all yesterday with my wife and daughter. It was our first full day at home with the kid, who was born on Monday.


Blargh...urge to snark...dissipating. What is this sensation? Is this an...eeemohshun? Heart...heavy...ughhhhhhhh *passes out*
 
2012-07-05 11:05:09 AM
Tequila and swimming at Pendleton, party at some guys house where everything was inexplicably covered in cheese, got left in Oceanside, and searched by a cop at the bus station. Better than last year.
 
2012-07-05 11:05:38 AM
BBQ at mother-in-law's with my wife and my mother, a little swimming, some sangria and wine fueled conversation ensued. Good times. Then, had to take my mom to the animal hospital to pick up her guide dog who had stomach surgery the day before. Dropped her off and headed home to console my dogs who were terrified because my oh-so-considerate and not at all trashy neighbors were setting off mortars in my cul-de-sac. Because that's a perfectly rational and safe thing to do around houses and trees and various other flammable things. Finally got to the point where I felt tired enough to sleep through the noise. Got woken up many times during the night because some other wonderfully considerate and not at all trashy neighbors were still drinking and partying and setting off mortars until well into the 3:00 hour. Alarm goes off at 5 and all I want to do is put my head down, sleep for another 4 hours and then go firebomb a select few houses in the neighborhood. But alas, it was not to be. I have a job and shiat to accomplish today. Sometimes it sucks being responsible. I'm so farking tired.

I don't mind people setting off fireworks, even though they're illegal in my city. Whatever, go nuts. But you shouldn't be setting off full sized professional grade farking mortars in a residential area. That just makes you an asshole.
 
2012-07-05 11:05:58 AM
Hot dog, hamburger, beer, steak tips, ribs, beer, Big Papi hits homer number 400, sausage sammich with sautéed peppers and onions, beer, shrimp and beer. Fireworks on TV since we was too full to waddle to the beach. Great 4th.
 
2012-07-05 11:08:13 AM
Burnt fingers on both hands. Hmmm. How'd that happen?
 
2012-07-05 11:09:34 AM
I found out my 1999 Jeep comes standard with a bottle opener.
 
2012-07-05 11:10:46 AM
Well, lets see..
Spent an hour driving on the freeway trying to get the computer on the wives van to register the sensor systems as "ready" so I could pass inspection after making some repairs to the gas tank venting system(damn hippies..really who cares that much).
Then went and spent the day playing with the extended family on the lake.
Went back to my place and had a BBQ.
All in all a good day. Didn't start any fires.
 
2012-07-05 11:11:03 AM
Woke up did some cleaning. Drank some wine. I was still pissed from having to stay late at work cleaning up other peoples messes. Had some wine played some Wii with the roomate. Watched some Twilight Zone. Couldnt watch fireworks from the back yard because all the ones around me were cancelled due to the storm damage. I didnt want to go downtown, its not fun down there anymore, Especailly since they put up security check points.
 
2012-07-05 11:11:10 AM
Got hit on by a late-fifties woman (I'm 41). She told me I had the most beautiful blue eyes she'd ever seen. Then she gave me some smarties she carried around in her purse. I was kinda creeped out.
 
2012-07-05 11:11:12 AM

brimed03: Fireworks on the National Mall. Always wanted to sit at the base of the Washington Monument on the 4th!

/in before phallic jokes


I did that once, in 1985. Dressed in my Navy Dress Whites, I peed on the grass at the base of the monument too. (The women were waiting in lines for 45 minutes to use overflowing porta-potties, all the guys were peeing in the puddle of "overflow" behind them)
 
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