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(Mirror.co.uk)   Body without head, arms and legs washes up on beach. Police say it only took an instant torso to rule out suicide   (mirror.co.uk) divider line 50
    More: Strange, Hampshire Police, suicides, corpses, beaches, legs, foreign students  
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3921 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jul 2012 at 11:25 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-04 02:16:05 PM  
Bob?
 
2012-07-04 02:18:46 PM  
"minute torso" would have worked better.
 
2012-07-04 02:22:37 PM  
"Our inquiries today are focusing on identifying the body, which we believe to be male, and how it came to be on the beach, including the possibility that it may have washed up with the tide.

So, I take it there was at least one other appendage the torso was missing.
 
2012-07-04 08:49:39 PM  
timenewsfeed.files.wordpress.com

Wanted for questioning. Oh wait...
 
2012-07-04 08:57:01 PM  
With all the body parts that have been found lately, police are expected to put something together soon
 
2012-07-04 09:05:50 PM  
i.imgur.com
I'm your ice truck killer, stop me when I'm passin' by
 
Pud [TotalFark]
2012-07-04 09:06:42 PM  

kid_icarus: "Our inquiries today are focusing on identifying the body, which we believe to be male, and how it came to be on the beach, including the possibility that it may have washed up with the tide.

So, I take it there was at least one other appendage the torso was missing.


I hear that fish like to eat worms.

/And for that matter, some worms like fish.
 
2012-07-04 09:08:11 PM  

Chariset: "minute torso" would have worked better.


Disagree.

Bravo, Subby.
 
2012-07-04 11:17:50 PM  

Pud: kid_icarus: "Our inquiries today are focusing on identifying the body, which we believe to be male, and how it came to be on the beach, including the possibility that it may have washed up with the tide.

So, I take it there was at least one other appendage the torso was missing.

I hear that fish like to eat worms.

/And for that matter, some worms like fish.


I had a bass try and take a nibble once. Scary as shiat! I must've jumped right out of that swimming hole.*


*Y'know, once the bass was finished. Natch.
 
2012-07-04 11:27:20 PM  
Oh god! It's Doakes...
 
2012-07-04 11:28:29 PM  

dopeydwarf: Wanted for questioning. Oh wait...


You gotta HAND it to him, he really had a LEG up on any competition.

/one, please
 
das
2012-07-04 11:32:02 PM  
It's only a flesh wound!!!!
 
2012-07-04 11:35:44 PM  

shanrick: [i.imgur.com image 472x300]
I'm your ice truck killer, stop me when I'm passin' by


upload.wikimedia.org

Challenge Accepted. BRB.
 
2012-07-04 11:35:53 PM  

Staffist: Chariset: "minute torso" would have worked better.

Disagree.

Bravo, Subby.


"momen torso" works on more levels.
 
2012-07-04 11:36:08 PM  

kid_icarus: "Our inquiries today are focusing on identifying the body, which we believe to be male, and how it came to be on the beach, including the possibility that it may have washed up with the tide.

So, I take it there was at least one other appendage the torso was missing.


Well, at least we know it's not Sandy.
 
2012-07-04 11:38:59 PM  

Pud: kid_icarus: "Our inquiries today are focusing on identifying the body, which we believe to be male, and how it came to be on the beach, including the possibility that it may have washed up with the tide.

So, I take it there was at least one other appendage the torso was missing.

I hear that fish like to eat worms.

/And for that matter, some worms like fish.


cdn.ksk.uproxx.com
 
2012-07-04 11:39:18 PM  
Give it a couple paddles and sign it up for the Olympics.

/Yeah, I went there.
 
2012-07-04 11:42:28 PM  

Balchinian: Give it a couple paddles and sign it up for the Olympics.

/Yeah, I went there.


raeleigh.files.wordpress.com

You earned it.
 
2012-07-04 11:44:01 PM  
Great. As if there is not enough plastic in the ocear.
 
2012-07-04 11:44:12 PM  
Until I clicked the link, I thought that the story was about my town. We had a torso wash up a few weeks ago. Turned out to be a (former*) New Orleans stripper.

* - Some places in N.O. cater to the weird... she could probably still get a job there.
 
2012-07-04 11:44:41 PM  
r=n
 
2012-07-04 11:44:47 PM  
As to the cause of death, investigators are stumped.
 
2012-07-04 11:45:57 PM  
Jaws is back!
 
2012-07-04 11:46:03 PM  
Well played,subby.
 
2012-07-04 11:48:53 PM  
www.dethklok.org
"Hey, guys! They found the rest of my dad!'
 
2012-07-04 11:49:27 PM  
Was it Def Leppards drummer?

I hear he has been going downhill for years....
 
2012-07-04 11:51:30 PM  
Probably a suicide; someone's cry for help went one step too far...
 
2012-07-04 11:58:49 PM  
Did he work for the Glasgow Rangers?
 
2012-07-05 12:01:38 AM  
Well done Subby, well done.
 
2012-07-05 12:02:01 AM  
Why not suicide? I bet you could rig up some Rube Goldberg device to chop you into pieces catapult half into the sea and cremate the rest.
 
2012-07-05 12:02:07 AM  

Balchinian: Give it a couple paddles and sign it up for the Olympics.

/Yeah, I went there.


OMG. I should SOOOO not be laughing at that.
 
2012-07-05 01:13:26 AM  
www.wallpaperhd.org

'Kay, back. What'd I miss?

/protip: watch out for ocean currents where you drop, bro
 
2012-07-05 01:14:08 AM  
A Home Office pathologist was due to conduct a post-mortem on the body

Is that like Staples? Or a guy that does autopsies in his basement wearing pajamas?
 
2012-07-05 01:20:12 AM  
My mind has spent the last several minutes trying to design a Rube Goldberg machine that would not only allow for a suicide by dismemberment but also deliver the torso to the ocean. Perhaps this guy figured it out. Don't rule out suicide just yet coppers.

/not suicidal, just morbidly curious if it could be done.
//would probably involve a trebuchet
 
2012-07-05 01:21:24 AM  

Staffist: Chariset: "minute torso" would have worked better.

Disagree.

Bravo, Subby.


You're both incorrect. The proper answer is "minute or so". Sneak the "torso" in like Luka would rather than bash the reader over the head like Dahmer.
 
2012-07-05 01:49:06 AM  

cygnusx13: Staffist: Chariset: "minute torso" would have worked better.

Disagree.

Bravo, Subby.

You're both incorrect. The proper answer is "minute or so". Sneak the "torso" in like Luka would rather than bash the reader over the head like Dahmer.


That degree of subtlety hardly ever results in a green light. Admins don't have time to sift through every headline for hidden double meanings, and most TF'ers don't take the time. Believe me, I've tried that approach; it doesn't pay to be too subtle or too clever.
 
2012-07-05 01:55:51 AM  

Pointy Tail of Satan: Great. As if there is not enough plastic in the ocear.


10/10
 
2012-07-05 01:59:46 AM  

Staffist: Chariset: "minute torso" would have worked better.

Disagree.

Bravo, Subby.


I didn't even get it til I saw the Chariset version. Bravo to you.
 
2012-07-05 02:15:35 AM  

phlegmmo: Bob?


Matt?
 
2012-07-05 02:47:03 AM  

Angelcatkthx:

I didn't even get it til I saw the Chariset version. Bravo to you.


Agreed... I couldn't figure it out as written. I don't know of anyone who ever says "it took an instant or so".
 
2012-07-05 04:04:12 AM  
*Golf clap*

minute, instant, torso, or so - what's the diff? Either way, it's a very clever play on words. My prediction: Jay Leno will use this in his next three monologues, and bash the audience over the head with how clever it is.
 
2012-07-05 07:06:07 AM  
CHICKEN CHOW MEIN!
 
2012-07-05 08:27:01 AM  
Bouy?
 
2012-07-05 09:08:06 AM  
upload.wikimedia.org
wasn't actually a torso
but a torus
 
2012-07-05 09:23:33 AM  
cdn.screenrant.com
 
2012-07-05 10:36:56 AM  
A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of him.

Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out!

The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The bartender still shakes his head in dismay.

Swoooop! Two arms pops out. The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, "Take another drink"! The bartender ignores the whole affair. By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs pop out.

The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left.... then to the right.... right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly.

The bar falls silent. The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says, "That boy should have quit while he was a head."

/ Got nothing
 
2012-07-05 12:16:38 PM  

phlegmmo: Bob?


Came for Bob....
 
2012-07-05 02:37:08 PM  
I see what you did.....

/took me a minute to get it.
/slow day
/Probably should take my medication
/"instant torso" very very clever
 
2012-07-05 05:10:14 PM  
Rich Folks Smoke Dokes
 
2012-07-05 06:22:50 PM  
I thought it could have been the OTHER girl's torso from "No Mercy"
 
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