If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(9 News)   Man suspected of breaking into the graves of Johann Strauss Jr. and Johannes Brahms and stealing their teeth, which authorities say composes a serious crime   (9news.com) divider line 69
    More: Strange, Johann Strauss Jr., Johannes Brahms, Austria, Slovaks, composers, teeth, Austria Press Agency  
•       •       •

2210 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jul 2012 at 4:26 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



69 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-07-04 12:19:17 PM  
"We advise you to keep Johannes where we can see them."
i.thisislondon.co.uk
 
2012-07-04 12:28:59 PM  
Those are a couple of my favorite decomposers.
 
2012-07-04 01:01:31 PM  
Maybe he planned on trying to play at molar volume
 
2012-07-04 01:50:37 PM  
which authorities say composes a serious crime

That's what Danube 's believe, I'm sure.


/yeah, I'm stretching here
 
2012-07-04 01:58:16 PM  
This is a man who really needs to get a Handel on his life.
 
2012-07-04 02:01:21 PM  
The tooth? You can't Handel the tooth!
 
2012-07-04 02:03:09 PM  
Oh dear -- I see I doubled up on a Handel gag. Can I take it Bach?
 
2012-07-04 02:06:50 PM  

Captain Kierk: Oh dear -- I see I doubled up on a Handel gag. Can I take it Bach?


Bah, no worries!

Let's go to the ice cream shop and have some Schubert!
 
2012-07-04 02:15:32 PM  
So after buddy stole the teeth, Verdi take them?
 
2012-07-04 02:18:35 PM  

Captain Kierk: So after buddy stole the teeth, Verdi take them?


Any number of locations.

It's a long Liszt.
 
2012-07-04 02:23:26 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Captain Kierk: So after buddy stole the teeth, Verdi take them?

Any number of locations.

It's a long Liszt.


It sure is hard to think Vivaldi places they could end up
 
2012-07-04 02:44:54 PM  
So, he just waltzed right in there and took them?
 
2012-07-04 03:22:34 PM  

phlegmmo: So, he just waltzed right in there and took them?


Some graves are easy to get into

/Mozart not
 
2012-07-04 03:24:41 PM  

Captain Kierk: It sure is hard to think Vivaldi places they could end up


We have to consider that he might have been flat baroque.
 
2012-07-04 03:54:23 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Captain Kierk: It sure is hard to think Vivaldi places they could end up

We have to consider that he might have been flat baroque.


I guess that would explain why he was Chopin for dentures in a cemetery...
 
2012-07-04 04:00:09 PM  

Captain Kierk: I guess that would explain why he was Chopin for dentures in a cemetery...


He didn't have many options, let's be Franck.
 
2012-07-04 04:12:40 PM  
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: He didn't have many options, let's be Franck.

I completely agree -- it's a pretty Straussful situation to be in...
 
2012-07-04 04:12:56 PM  
So, I assume this guy Borodin?
 
2012-07-04 04:27:12 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: So, I assume this guy Borodin?


Maybe he was Haydn in the bushes? He could've snuck in and out in less than a minuet.

/Inner band geek: exposed.
 
2012-07-04 04:28:50 PM  
Omg, a tooth fairy that actually exists for all the wrong reasons!!
 
2012-07-04 04:30:13 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener


This is a man who really needs to get a Handel on his life.


He should have picked a better Haydn place.
 
2012-07-04 04:31:08 PM  
Dammit, Captain Kierk.

:-)
 
2012-07-04 04:33:19 PM  
Damn! All the pun-able Germanic composer names have been used. Damned hard to pun Tchaikovsky or Khachaturian.
 
2012-07-04 04:38:02 PM  
Maybe he wanted to clone them. That would be cool if somebody cloned Brahms. Strauss, not so much.
 
2012-07-04 04:40:49 PM  

Sneakytoes: Maybe he wanted to clone them. That would be cool if somebody cloned Brahms. Strauss, not so much.


But what would we do without Levi's?
 
2012-07-04 04:41:05 PM  
Who's the Lead Conductor of this investigation?
 
2012-07-04 04:44:04 PM  
They wanted to tickle the ivories.
 
2012-07-04 04:57:29 PM  
Beethoven's gone, but his music lives on,
And Mozart don't go shopping no more.
You'll never meet Liszt or Brahms again,
And Elgar doesn't answer the door.
Schubert and Chopin used to chuckle and laugh,
Whilst composing a long symphony,
But one hundred and fifty years later,
There's very little of them left to see.

They're decomposing composers.
There's nothing much anyone can do.
You can still hear Beethoven,
But Beethoven cannot hear you.

Handel and Haydn and Rachmaninov
Enjoyed a nice drink with their meal,
But nowadays, no one will serve them,
And their gravy is left to congeal.

Verdi and Wagner delighted the crowds
With their highly original sound.
The pianos they played are still working,
But they're both six feet underground.

They're decomposing composers.
There's less of them every year.
You can say what you like to Debussy,
But there's not much of him left to hear.

Claude Achille Debussy-- Died, 1918.

Christophe Willebald Gluck-- Died, 1787.

Carl Maria von Weber-- Not at all well, 1825. Died, 1826.

Giacomo Meyerbeer-- Still alive, 1863. Not still alive, 1864.

Modeste Mussorgsky-- 1880, going to parties. No fun anymore, 1881.

Johan Nepomuk Hummel-- Chatting away nineteen to the dozen with his mates down the pub every evening, 1836. 1837, nothing.
 
2012-07-04 05:01:55 PM  
Rock me Armadeus.
 
2012-07-04 05:03:40 PM  
Technically, they comprise a serious crime.
 
2012-07-04 05:05:37 PM  

Enigmamf


Technically, they comprise a serious crime.


Newsflash: people who write music are not called 'comprisers'.
 
2012-07-04 05:15:10 PM  
Johann Strauss, Johannes Brahms. This guy is just waiting for John Williams to die.
 
2012-07-04 05:16:02 PM  

dericwater: Damn! All the pun-able Germanic composer names have been used. Damned hard to pun Tchaikovsky or Khachaturian.


Aram gonna try
 
2012-07-04 05:23:26 PM  
Hey, it's all good, Brah... ms.
 
2012-07-04 05:24:36 PM  
Okay, time to lay off the beer, I'm making lame-ass puns on names that are already in the headline.

/I fail
 
2012-07-04 05:26:42 PM  
images.travelpod.com

Brahms Beethoven Schubert Strauss -- All in one graveyard in Vienna-- The Zentralfriedhof.

/ It's a good place to visit if you like music.
 
2012-07-04 05:35:36 PM  
Terrible headline.

Subby, please study this thread to see how you might have done better.
 
2012-07-04 05:37:38 PM  

Englebert Slaptyback: Enigmamf

Technically, they comprise a serious crime.


Newsflash: people who write music are not called 'comprisers'.


Which is why the joke fails.
 
2012-07-04 05:38:06 PM  
Teeth, eh? They should question this guy.

4.bp.blogspot.com

/Hot as Frau Totenkinder's wrath.
 
2012-07-04 05:44:35 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Captain Kierk: So after buddy stole the teeth, Verdi take them?

Any number of locations.

It's a long Liszt.


He certainly didn't take them to Britten. I doubt he would carry such valuable body parts through Debussy Vienna Airport...
 
2012-07-04 05:58:27 PM  

notmtwain: [images.travelpod.com image 544x400]

Brahms Beethoven Schubert Strauss -- All in one graveyard in Vienna-- The Zentralfriedhof.

/ It's a good place to visit if you like music.


...or plan a Dr. Mindbender scheme to create the ultimate composer
 
2012-07-04 06:06:11 PM  

Fano: notmtwain: [images.travelpod.com image 544x400]

Brahms Beethoven Schubert Strauss -- All in one graveyard in Vienna-- The Zentralfriedhof.

/ It's a good place to visit if you like music.

...or plan a Dr. Mindbender scheme to create the ultimate composer


Arise, Conduc-tor, arise!
 
2012-07-04 06:06:16 PM  
Here I thought new, incisor commentary on their works couldn't be done.
 
2012-07-04 06:07:19 PM  
the accused could be a Orff his Rock man!
 
2012-07-04 06:24:00 PM  
Janáček his pockets, he might still have them on him.
 
2012-07-04 06:34:24 PM  

Coelacanth: decomposing composers.
.


img42.imageshack.us
 
2012-07-04 06:51:16 PM  

Day_Old_Dutchie: Coelacanth: decomposing composers.
.

[img42.imageshack.us image 290x338]


Bravo!
 
2012-07-04 07:27:42 PM  

Sneakytoes: Maybe he wanted to clone them. That would be cool if somebody cloned Brahms. Strauss, not so much.


Sounds like someone's trying make a musical Serpentor.

Cobra-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!
 
2012-07-04 08:22:39 PM  

Day_Old_Dutchie: Coelacanth: decomposing composers.
.

[img42.imageshack.us image 290x338]


where did we find that?
 
2012-07-04 08:30:38 PM  

Enigmamf


Englebert Slaptyback: Enigmamf

Technically, they comprise a serious crime.


Newsflash: people who write music are not called 'comprisers'.

Which is why the joke fails.


*facepalm*

Somebody want to explain to this guy how jokes work here on Earth?
 
Displayed 50 of 69 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report