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(Short List)   Tom Cruise turns 50, gets divorced but still manages a smug shiat-eating grin. This is why   (shortlist.com) divider line 65
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15431 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 04 Jul 2012 at 10:22 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-04 09:59:35 AM
I have no issue with this.

I'm mildly disconcerted with Adam Sandler taking $37 million for his endless reiterations of Fart, Yell, Groin Trauma: The Movie, though.
 
2012-07-04 10:23:35 AM
fark you, Adam Sandler.
 
2012-07-04 10:26:10 AM
Says more about the audience than it does about TC.
 
2012-07-04 10:27:51 AM
he always looks like he just received a blowjob to me
 
2012-07-04 10:28:17 AM
Short guy, tall on threads.
 
2012-07-04 10:32:31 AM
In other news the Rock is the 4th highest paid actor in Hollywood?? You go, Rock!
 
2012-07-04 10:33:07 AM
What tard thought Taylor Lautner deserved 27 million.
 
2012-07-04 10:35:30 AM

Shakes999: What tard thought Taylor Lautner deserved 27 million.


His agent
 
2012-07-04 10:38:53 AM
Ehhhhh, I liked Valkyrie. Decent movie and the acting was good, shame it didn't make more of a splash at the box office.
 
2012-07-04 10:41:42 AM
Just think, Tom Cruise is the same age as Wilford Brimley was when they filmed Cocoon.
 
2012-07-04 10:43:07 AM

Shakes999: What tard thought Taylor Lautner deserved 27 million.


img232.imageshack.us

Some alpaca enthusiast, undoubtedly.
 
2012-07-04 10:44:40 AM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: I have no issue with this.

I'm mildly disconcerted with Adam Sandler taking $37 million for his endless reiterations of Fart, Yell, Groin Trauma: The Movie, though.


Sandler is currently filming in my town so I am personally looking forward to the next installment of "Fart, Yell, Groin Trauma: The Movie (with familiar backdrops)". I might have to stab my ears out watching Grown Ups 2, but watch it I will.
 
2012-07-04 10:45:12 AM
Taylor Lautner? $27 million? For what?
 
2012-07-04 10:49:52 AM

FooDog: Sandler is currently filming in my town so I am personally looking forward to the next installment of "Fart, Yell, Groin Trauma: The Movie (with familiar backdrops)". I might have to stab my ears out watching Grown Ups 2, but watch it I will.


Not my cup of tea, but I hope you enjoy it, anyways.


Dr.Zom: Taylor Lautner? $27 million? For what?


Squinting and running.
 
2012-07-04 10:58:50 AM
img0.fark.net


Does anyone else find it amusing that there is an article about Tom Cruise on a site called 'ShortList'?
 
2012-07-04 11:00:07 AM
Tom Cruise turns 50, gets divorced but still manages a smug shiat-eating grin. This is why

cache.gawker.com

BECAUSE ONE OF HIS FRONT TEETH IS IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS FARKIN' FACE, THAT'S WHY!
 
2012-07-04 11:01:22 AM

Englebert Slaptyback: Does anyone else find it amusing that there is an article about Tom Cruise on a site called 'ShortList'?


Hah!

That merits a:

♫ ba da bum, ba da bum, waaaaaaaah! ♫
 
2012-07-04 11:02:10 AM
I hate to admit, but he is a decent actor. His turn as Stauffenberg in Valkyrie had me gain a new respect for him. He might be a tool, and a pyscho but, he can act.
 
2012-07-04 11:12:12 AM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener:

Dr.Zom: Taylor Lautner? $27 million? For what?

Squinting and running.


I'm sure he gets paid well but this would indicate that he makes more than the other dude who technically is the lead in those Twilight movies.

Englebert Slaptyback: [img0.fark.net image 77x27]


Does anyone else find it amusing that there is an article about Tom Cruise on a site called 'ShortList'?


My 5' 6" friend met and had her picture taken with Lautner. Dude's about 5' 7" in the pic, looks like he weighs about 140.

/she said he was very nice
 
2012-07-04 11:13:40 AM
He spent his 50th alone and is three times unlucky in love, as in "money-can't-buy-me". Millions, shmillions.
 
2012-07-04 11:15:20 AM
Dwayne Johnson $36 million

That's hilarious.
 
2012-07-04 11:16:36 AM
If I had banged as much ass and made as much money I'd smile all the time too, even if I was a crazy cultist.
 
2012-07-04 11:17:00 AM
And he can barely act.
 
2012-07-04 11:18:12 AM

Dr.Zom: I'm sure he gets paid well but this would indicate that he makes more than the other dude who technically is the lead in those Twilight movies.


If Robert Pattinson squinted as much as Taylor Lautner, he would've earned that payday.
 
2012-07-04 11:20:57 AM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener


Dr.Zom: I'm sure he gets paid well but this would indicate that he makes more than the other dude who technically is the lead in those Twilight movies.

If Robert Pattinson squinted as much as Taylor Lautner, he would've earned that payday.


They probably could have gotten French Stewart for a lot less money.
 
2012-07-04 11:30:49 AM
I think the smug grin is because he's tight with Xenu...and he can talk to plants. And it only cost him tens of millions to be convinced of that.
 
2012-07-04 11:34:43 AM

steamingpile: Ehhhhh, I liked Valkyrie. Decent movie and the acting was good, shame it didn't make more of a splash at the box office.


We now know Cruise's Fark handle.

Seriously, I don't watch his movies.
He's a weirdo with major league control issues, problems with his wives and in all the nutty religions out there he believes in the absolute biggest load of bullshiate on earth.

He's got money?
BFD.
Cut him and he bleeds, just like the rest of us.
 
2012-07-04 11:42:10 AM
Sacha Baron Cohen made as much as Johnny Depp? There's your outrage.
 
2012-07-04 11:55:15 AM
Is that $75m for acting or producing MI:GP as well?

Watch the extras, he talked those dummies in Dubai into letting him have the Burj for filming as it would help boost their film industry.
 
2012-07-04 12:10:44 PM
www.modsuperstar.ca

He is just getting his coat and will be out in a minute.
 
2012-07-04 12:19:30 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener

Dr.Zom: I'm sure he gets paid well but this would indicate that he makes more than the other dude who technically is the lead in those Twilight movies.

If Robert Pattinson squinted as much as Taylor Lautner, he would've earned that payday.


They probably could have gotten French Stewart for a lot less money.


And they probably could have gotten Johnny Galeki doing his perpetual French Stewart impersonation for even less.
 
2012-07-04 12:19:44 PM
Guy is a loon, but he is without question a great actor. Doesn't always play the hero. He was terrific as the villain in Collateral.

I too am troubled by Adam Sandler being on that list, but I guess the same faction of the population that made Larry the Cable guy a multi-millionaire also watches Sandler movies.
 
2012-07-04 12:48:06 PM
I'm sure he makes a lot of money. But how much of that do you think ends up in the church of complete dumbasses? Probably a lot more than you think.

From what I've heard, the "church" works thusly:
Step 1: Welcome! And thanks for joining. First we'll need you to confess every one of your most personal secrets. Every single one.
Step 2: Oh, you want out? Well, you're going to shut up and pay up because now we've got you by the balls.

/There is no step 3.
 
2012-07-04 01:12:35 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: They probably could have gotten French Stewart for a lot less money.


If Community is any indication, he's too busy doing French Stewart impersonations elsewhere.
 
2012-07-04 01:25:12 PM
Last Samurai was pretty good.
 
2012-07-04 01:29:56 PM
Sandler has turned out pure crap for a long time, and I haven't liked some of his acclaimed films. BUT even so I'd rather see a random Sandler film than a random Tom Cruise film.

Cruise is surprisingly good when he plays against type -- when he's playing a psycho, or a comedic role. When he's playing the hero or a romantic role, he flat-out sucks. Seriously terrible.

In about 80% of his films, he's played a guy who's gotten in over his head, despite really not being in any hot water (for his character), and who goes all crazy in a panic over it, flails stupidly, and manages to prevail. It was fine in Risky Business because he was a teenager, but every time since it's just been a sad waste of time, from Cocktail to Eyes Wide Shut to Mission: Impossible.

But him in, say, Tropic Thunder? Hells yes. Brilliantly done.
 
2012-07-04 01:38:26 PM
So by using the HERO tag you are equating Tom Cruise with a disabled war verteran who saves a baby from a building burning?

The US should just shoot itself in the head now.
 
2012-07-04 01:54:57 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener


If Community is any indication, he's too busy doing French Stewart impersonations elsewhere.


I've not actually seen 'Community'. Is it worthwhile?
 
2012-07-04 02:05:44 PM

offmymeds: BECAUSE ONE OF HIS FRONT TEETH IS IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS FARKIN' FACE, THAT'S WHY!



www.cheerfuldentist.com

What has been seen cannot be unseen.
 
2012-07-04 02:07:48 PM
WHY??????

FYI: War of the Worlds & other bombs
 
2012-07-04 02:08:39 PM
I thought Downey was the highest paid
 
2012-07-04 02:38:22 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: I've not actually seen 'Community'. Is it worthwhile?


I'd say so. I'd go so far as to say that it's the best currently-running comedy on TV.

Your mileage may vary, of course, but stick with it. The show is great, but Season 3 was AMAZING stuff.
 
2012-07-04 02:43:46 PM

Seamer: I thought Downey was the highest paid


That's just from endorsements
weknowmemes.com
 
2012-07-04 02:52:33 PM

Vacation Bible School: That's just from endorsements
weknowmemes.com


HAHAHAHAHA
 
2012-07-04 02:57:48 PM
How is it that Johnny Depp and Will Smith are both paid less than Adam Sandler?

/To which supernatural entity did Sandler sell his soul to in order to make that kind of money?
//I need to make a deal
 
2012-07-04 03:29:05 PM

consider this: offmymeds: BECAUSE ONE OF HIS FRONT TEETH IS IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS FARKIN' FACE, THAT'S WHY!


[www.cheerfuldentist.com image 500x600]

What has been seen cannot be unseen.


What's scary is how alike he and his cousin look, yet his cousin is so unattractive.

img232.imageshack.uswww.cheerfuldentist.com
 
2012-07-04 04:02:27 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener


I'd say so. I'd go so far as to say that it's the best currently-running comedy on TV.

Your mileage may vary, of course, but stick with it. The show is great, but Season 3 was AMAZING stuff.


Then I may have to take a look. Muchas gracias for the tip!
 
2012-07-04 04:11:23 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: Then I may have to take a look. Muchas gracias for the tip!


De nada, mammajamma - hope you dig it!
 
2012-07-04 04:31:09 PM

indarwinsshadow: I hate to admit, but he is a decent actor. His turn as Stauffenberg in Valkyrie had me gain a new respect for him. He might be a tool, and a pyscho but, he can act.


On today of all days, i recommend anyone to check out Born on the 4th of July. When he made it, it was right after Rain Man, and Cruise was easily considered among the best working actors in Hollywood. (He lost the Oscar to Daniel Day Lewis for My Left Foot, which was one of the greatest performances of all time, so sucks for Tom that particular year).
 
2012-07-04 05:40:33 PM
What a list.

There's a total of two real actors on there. The rest should still be waiting tables.
 
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