FARK.com: (7195587) Happy 237th birthday, America; why not take Moyers' advice and read the Declaration of Independence today? Then down 2 fifths of Jim Beam and polish your shotgun like the founders intended

If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

		Happy 237th birthday, America; why not take Moyers' advice and read the Declaration of Independence today? Then down 2 fifths of Jim Beam and polish your shotgun like the founders intended (en.wikipedia.org)		29
		More: Amusing

• • •

3114 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jul 2012 at 9:57 AM | Favorite | share:

Share this link:

URL:

http://fark.com/go/7195587

Bookmark:

Article Comments close

Voting Results (Smartest)

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Redisplay/refresh voting results (Smartest or Funniest) or Return to comments

Archived thread

Weaver95		2012-07-04 10:03:27 AM

3 votes:

coeyagi: EnviroDude: Happy Dependence Day.

Really? Sorry to hear that. What drugs got you hooked, besides impotent rage?

he's still bitter/insane about Obamacare being constitutional. which is really weird because he cheered for the patriot act. personally, I would think that if you were worried about protecting personal freedom in the US of A then you'd be mad as hell about the abuses inflicted on the Occupy protesters or the excesses of the TSA and the DEA in their 'war on' terrorism and drugs (respectively). Not to mention the whole net neutrality debate. my point is that there are a LOT of things out there that 'threaten american freedom' and Obamacare ain't one of 'em.

So I really don't understand what the hell the GOP shills are talking about when it comes to 'protecting freedom'. they don't care about freedom, or at least they haven't in a long time anyways.

socodog		2012-07-04 10:49:44 AM

2 votes:

Im going to celebrate by avoiding the Politics threads, which are full of misinformed partisain pricks from the left and the right. You people are truly what is wrong with this country and why the people that declared independance from England mulled over outlawing "factions".

coeyagi		2012-07-04 10:06:11 AM

2 votes:

EnviroDude: Happy Dependence Day.

Things EnviroDude depends on but blithely dismissed because he's a Fox News shill:

-FAA
-FDA
-EPA
-Highways
-Bridges
-Clean Air Act
-Police
-Firemen
-Teachers
-Military
-Post Office
-Army Corps of Engineers
-TSA (depends on? Heh, he loves himself a BCS)
-Election Officials
-State Inspectors (of bridges, highways, gas pumps, stormwater ponds, etc)
-ETC, ETC, ETC

Thanks a lot O'McFartbummertaxbongo!

FriarReb98		2012-07-04 10:04:43 AM

2 votes:

As someone who was born in 1976, let me just tell submathtard: I AM NOT 37 YET!!!!

Weaver95		2012-07-04 09:34:13 AM

2 votes:

EnviroDude: Happy Dependence Day.

Just don't read the patriot act or all that good cheer will go RIGHT down the tubes.

D-Wolf2k2		2012-07-04 08:57:50 PM

1 votes:

Here's a list of countries that in some way helped us out when we were saying FU! to England and soon after
-France: Obvious, they get all the credit.
-Prussia: Helped to train and provide arms for the Continental Army, also signed the first alliance between the US and an European Power.
-Morocco: First ones to recognize the colonies as a Sovereign Nation and the Treaty we have with them is the longest unbroken treaty we have.
-The Netherlands: First country to salute our flag, first to recognize a Diplomat from us, home of the first US Embassy.
-Spain: Their fleet helped prevent the British from fully cutting off the Colonies, also big provider of arms, supplies, and Intel.

We didn't do it alone, so a little thanks to them as well, even though Prussia doesn't exist anymore, and our relations with Spain hasn't always been great.

Happy 4th all.

OneManArmy		2012-07-04 12:13:27 PM

1 votes:

Sgt Stubby: I love being lectured by an atheist about how I'm 'getting the Bible wrong'.

It's both funny and sad...

It's not hard to figure out your tact. You claim christian morals as a hedge against your desires to do the exact opposite.

Passive Aggressive Larry		2012-07-04 11:59:20 AM

1 votes:

Sgt Stubby: I love being lectured by an atheist about how I'm 'getting the Bible wrong'.

It's both funny and sad...

Not as funny and sad as your tenuous grasp on history, the economy, and the Bible.

And now I'm done. This thread makes me feel dirty. I'm going go grill some burgers and drink enough beer so I'm danger to myself and others while lighting fireworks later.

Weaver95		2012-07-04 11:49:37 AM

1 votes:

Sgt Stubby: Dansker, your carefully cherry-picked Bible verses are from Acts and concern the formation of the early Christian Church. All that giving that you highlight was people supporting the formation of the Church.

It has nothing to do with electing liberals...

so...you are saying that you have the right to just ignore the words of Jesus and his apostles if you personally disagree with what was said in the bible?

Weaver95		2012-07-04 11:44:28 AM

1 votes:

Sgt Stubby: coeyagi, calm down or you might burst an important blood vessel in the Circle of Willis.

Social Security is bankrupt. Medicaid is bankrupt. Medicare is bankrupt. On this 4th of July, our nation is sixteen TRILLION dollars in debt and borrowing/printing billions by the day (if not by the hour!). Now comes ObamaCare to add more untold TRILLIONS in fresh new debt. But for an enraged liberal like yourself, it can never be enough.

LBJ's 'War on Poverty' began in the 60's. Well guess what? Like Jesus said, "The poor will always be with us." Unfortunately, liberals like yourself can never be happy until everyone is equally miserable and the country collapses into economic run, Greece style - or becomes a communist dictatorship, ala Cuba.

None of this has anything to do with the Bible btw, but it has everything to do with history - something you seem to be blissfully ignorant of, my angry atheist friend.

do you know that we spent over $600 billion a year on defense spending? Obamacare - even if we take the most worst case GOP partisan hack estimate - would cost AT MOST $100 billion a year. So if your argument is that 'spending is bad' then logically you should want to cut military spending before you cut funding for Obamacare.

Passive Aggressive Larry		2012-07-04 11:39:07 AM

1 votes:

Sgt Stubby: I love the liberal question, 'What would Jesus do?

Just how far removed from reality are you? The fact that someone who claims to be a Christian could be so dismissive of the idea behind that message, simply because some people who disagree with you have used it to highlight your own ideological hypocrisy, is amazing to me.

Dansker		2012-07-04 11:32:30 AM

1 votes:

32 And the multitude of them that believed were of one heart and of one soul: neither said any of them that ought of the things which he possessed was his own; but they had all things common.

33 And with great power gave the apostles witness of the resurrection of the Lord Jesus: and great grace was upon them all.

34 Neither was there any among them that lacked: for as many as were possessors of lands or houses sold them, and brought the prices of the things that were sold,

35 And laid them down at the apostles' feet: and distribution was made unto every man according as he had need.

36 And Joses, who by the apostles was surnamed Barnabas, (which is, being interpreted, The son of consolation,) a Levite, and of the country of Cyprus,

37 Having land, sold it, and brought the money, and laid it at the apostles' feet.

Chapter 5

1 But a certain man named Ananias, with Sapphira his wife, sold a possession,

2 And kept back part of the price, his wife also being privy to it, and brought a certain part, and laid it at the apostles' feet.

3 But Peter said, Ananias, why hath Satan filled thine heart to lie to the Holy Ghost, and to keep back part of the price of the land?

4 Whiles it remained, was it not thine own? and after it was sold, was it not in thine own power? why hast thou conceived this thing in thine heart? thou hast not lied unto men, but unto God.

5 And Ananias hearing these words fell down, and gave up the ghost: and great fear came on all them that heard these things.

6 And the young men arose, wound him up, and carried him out, and buried him.

7 And it was about the space of three hours after, when his wife, not knowing what was done, came in.

8 And Peter answered unto her, Tell me whether ye sold the land for so much? And she said, Yea, for so much.

9 Then Peter said unto her, How is it that ye have agreed together to tempt the Spirit of the Lord? behold, the feet of them which have buried thy husband are at the door, and shall carry thee out.

10 Then fell she down straightway at his feet, and yielded up the ghost: and the young men came in, and found her dead, and, carrying her forth, buried her by her husband.

11 And great fear came upon all the church, and upon as many as heard these things.
~ Acts, 4-5

Gleeman		2012-07-04 11:32:29 AM

1 votes:

Sgt Stubby: As much as liberals (usually atheists) try to use it to justify ever-expanding government and infinite debt, the Bible has nothing to do with those topics. I love the liberal question, 'What would Jesus do?" It's the most pointless question of all time, because he already did it. That's the point of the New Testament. If a OWS 'protester' were to confront Jesus in 2012, walking down the street, and ask him what he thought about 'affirmative action', he would reply, "What has that got to do with ME?"

Liberals love to imply that Jesus would be a fan of big government. Well, big government in his day was Rome... and it CRUCIFIED him.

www.atotheword.com

Doesn't look very libertarian to me.

coeyagi		2012-07-04 11:27:40 AM

1 votes:

Sgt Stubby: Dansker, you can 'use' the Bible (with cherry-picked quotes) to back any argument. But it's a spiritual book centered on one subject: FAITH in God.

As much as liberals (usually atheists) try to use it to justify ever-expanding government and infinite debt, the Bible has nothing to do with those topics. I love the liberal question, 'What would Jesus do?" It's the most pointless question of all time, because he already did it. That's the point of the New Testament. If a OWS 'protester' were to confront Jesus in 2012, walking down the street, and ask him what he thought about 'affirmative action', he would reply, "What has that got to do with ME?"

Liberals love to imply that Jesus would be a fan of big government. Well, big government in his day was Rome... and it CRUCIFIED him.

You.... are a Strawman Jedi.

Actually, liberals like to help people, make their world a better place, etc, etc. Big government is sometimes the tool employed to that end, but not always. Did you see Jesus saying "get bootstrappy?" No, the guy actually helped people. Now, I now you are now making the connection of "what does that have to do with government?" As another Farker put it, why isn't the will of good individuals good enough? THANK YOU. Because it isn't! Because the will of good people isn't insuring 30 million people. The will of good people isn't erasing poverty, hunger and homelessness. It certainly helps, but how many hate-ridden assholish GOP dickbags in congress waste time denying rights to people or reaffirming the f*cking Pledge of Allegiance as our.... Pledge of Allegiance... when they could be trying to figure out how to help the damn poor as their f*cking Bible says they should? CAN YOU ANSWER THAT?

Weaver95		2012-07-04 11:22:36 AM

1 votes:

coeyagi		2012-07-04 11:20:12 AM

1 votes:

JesseL: coeyagi: //dude, seriously, stop with the faux-concern. If your side gave a shiat about poor people as Jesus did, they wouldn't be trying to leave 30 million behind without health insurance.

Maybe some people believe that the virtue in helping the needy is dependent on it being an act of will by individuals and when it's instead forced upon them by the state the virtue is erased?

Can you save someone's soul by forcing them to pray at gunpoint?

Obviously those people need to spend less time trying to justify their anti-Christian actions. Oh, who am I kidding? You are giving them their talking points for them! I hope you get paid for such a service.

T-Boy		2012-07-04 11:16:41 AM

1 votes:

I just read the Declaration of Independence and it didn't say anything about health insurance.

Dansker		2012-07-04 11:08:04 AM

1 votes:

Sgt Stubby: coeyagi: You realize that non-Christians are going to thrash you in here with their actual understanding of the Bible

I very much doubt it.

I could take a short stab at it: The Bible makes it clear that Jesus felt it was difficult, if not impossible, for the rich to enter Heaven. He actively encouraged his followers to give up their worldly possessions and even the shirt off their backs, if anyone asked for it.
And don't forget why Jehova got angry at Sodom:

49 Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom, pride, fulness of bread, and abundance of idleness was in her and in her daughters, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy.

50 And they were haughty, and committed abomination before me: therefore I took them away as I saw good.
~ Ezekiel 16, 49-50

They were rich, arrogant bastards, who didn't want to share their wealth.

Sgt Stubby		2012-07-04 11:07:42 AM

1 votes:

Same goes for you, Weaver95. Your constant attacks and the overall need to 'lash out' at strangers on the Internet signal a need for affection. I'd have to meet you in person first, but I'd pray for you too.

I sense that you are a very lonely and angry man...

Weaver95		2012-07-04 11:04:25 AM

1 votes:

Sgt Stubby: You are a very angry and hate-filled individual, coeyagi. If I had a chance to meet you in person, I'd pray for you...

just...you know...not to the christian god....

Mid_mo_mad_man		2012-07-04 11:02:31 AM

1 votes:

Sgt Stubby: coeyagi: You realize that non-Christians are going to thrash you in here with their actual understanding of the Bible

I very much doubt it.

Well Jesus did say " abandon your families and posesions and follow me".

badhatharry		2012-07-04 10:57:21 AM

1 votes:

Problems with the King:

...the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within. He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers. He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance. He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

Weaver95		2012-07-04 10:46:37 AM

1 votes:

Sgt Stubby: I'm a Republican and I read the Bible every day. Jesus didn't 'hate money & power'.

then you aren't reading the christian bible.

o5iiawah		2012-07-04 10:44:01 AM

1 votes:

coeyagi: You should tell that to Mitt Romney who is upset with Obama for some reason about firefighters and teachers.

Because firefighters and teachers are functions of state and local government. The problem is that the federal government collects too much form taxpayers who might otherwise be able to contribute to the function of their state and local governments. Call it crazy but if a community needs to hire a teacher, cop and firefighter, it makes sense for the mayor or school board to propose a tax or mechanism for hiring them. Having everyone in the community pay a federal tax, then having their US reps lobby for it to come back to the state, to have state reps lobby for it to come back to the community seems inefficient.

I like to think my local school board has a better grasp of how many teachers are needed versus the President.

Passive Aggressive Larry		2012-07-04 10:19:57 AM

1 votes:

If the Declaration of Independence was written by Obama, Republicans would be against it.

trotsky		2012-07-04 10:15:00 AM

1 votes:

The best part? I am trolling morons on facebook right now with this:

i.imgur.com

Weaver95		2012-07-04 10:13:46 AM

1 votes:

coeyagi: Weaver95: coeyagi: Weaver95: I just don't understand the Republican party anymore.

Read the Bible. A virtuous GOPer is a "Bible Learned" one.

yeah, see - there's a problem with that....the Republicans aren't actually 'christian'. they don't read the bible either.

They read it, but with the reading comprehension of your average Special Olympics participant.

I don't think they even bother. look - Christ was pretty clear on the whole 'heal the sick/help the poor/f*ck the bankers' thing. But if you want to be a 'good Republican' you have to abandon the sick, hate the poor and love bankers. damn near everything the GOP stands for is anti-christian. Which isn't to say that the GOP doesn't believe in a god. I'm just saying that they're not worshipping the christian god.

Weaver95		2012-07-04 10:10:32 AM

1 votes:

coeyagi: Weaver95: I just don't understand the Republican party anymore.

Read the Bible. A virtuous GOPer is a "Bible Learned" one.

yeah, see - there's a problem with that....the Republicans aren't actually 'christian'. they don't read the bible either.