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(Chicago Sun-Times)   Your new album may be in trouble when reviewers immediately point out it's not a parody   (suntimes.com) divider line 44
    More: Amusing, parody, Tom Haverford  
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10514 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 03 Jul 2012 at 8:36 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



44 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-07-03 06:39:35 PM  
Every time I turn on the radio I think it's just an elaborate joke to see what the public will accept and pay for.

//I have to believe dubstep is a joke.
////It's the only way I can sleep at night.
 
2012-07-03 08:37:25 PM  
Looks like Rhianna's gonna have some new marks to explain to the neighbors.
 
2012-07-03 08:37:44 PM  
It's a hit!
 
2012-07-03 08:40:50 PM  
even better that he compares it to Tom Haverford.
 
2012-07-03 08:42:29 PM  
machinemusic.org
 
2012-07-03 08:44:59 PM  
FTFA: All 14 songs work hard to thrust Brown's boastful, cartoonish image of his irresistible sexual prowess in your face.

Methinks the reviewer doth protest too damn much. Or maybe that's the joke.
 
2012-07-03 08:47:45 PM  
Who is his main fan base? Teenage girls. Teenage girls have the intellectual capacity of a dead marmoset. He could take a baby, shove it on a spike head-first and then piss on it, and at least half the audience would go, "OMG LOOK AT HIS ABS!!11!!" No wonder his shiat sells. It sells to people who have a lot of discretionary income and very little taste.
 
2012-07-03 08:54:14 PM  
"Wanna see your legs in the air / Baby, don't worry about your hair"

For some reason that reminds me of an Andrew Dice Clay bit.


She's like, "Don't come in my mouth." I go, "Honey, I don't want to fark up your hair. We're in a nice restaurant."
 
2012-07-03 08:55:51 PM  

ModernLuddite: Every time I turn on the radio I think it's just an elaborate joke to see what the public will accept and pay for.


Pretty much this. Most of the singers are awful too, and Autotune doesn't help. I should have never given up my childhood dream of being a singer. Even though I was out of tune, I still could have probably sung better than a lot of the crap singers on the radio.
 
2012-07-03 09:00:30 PM  
WAIT WAIT WAIT, he sings about fornication???
 
2012-07-03 09:04:47 PM  
hey rihanna,
farm4.staticflickr.com
 
2012-07-03 09:07:51 PM  
I thought Chris Brown was a parody of Bobby Brown. Did I miss something?
 
2012-07-03 09:13:56 PM  

Coco LaFemme: Who is his main fan base? Teenage girls. Teenage girls have the intellectual capacity of a dead marmoset. He could take a baby, shove it on a spike head-first and then piss on it, and at least half the audience would go, "OMG LOOK AT HIS ABS!!11!!" No wonder his shiat sells. It sells to people who have a lot of discretionary income and very little taste.


That explains a lot of crap that comes out of Hollywood and on TV as well.
 
2012-07-03 09:16:02 PM  
It's Chris Brown's actual album. Nonetheless, it's still hilarious.


It's only hilarious if Drake gets to collaborate with him again.
 
2012-07-03 09:49:22 PM  
He got into a fight with Drake? I thought Drake was a Crip.
 
2012-07-03 09:51:57 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: He got into a fight with Drake? I thought Drake was a Crip.


He got into a bottle-throwing contest with Drake.

He lost.
 
2012-07-03 09:52:16 PM  
Shiat Sandwich
 
2012-07-03 10:00:36 PM  
"'Cause it could get ugly/Before it gets beautiful"



Lyrics from "Ballad of A Batterer*. Enjoy,ladies!

*What it SHOULD be titled
 
2012-07-03 10:07:13 PM  

Coco LaFemme: Who is his main fan base? Teenage girls. Teenage girls have the intellectual capacity of a dead marmoset. He could take a baby, shove it on a spike head-first and then piss on it, and at least half the audience would go, "OMG LOOK AT HIS ABS!!11!!" No wonder his shiat sells. It sells to people who have a lot of discretionary income and very little taste.


The sadder part is, I'm 30 and know many, many females my age who love this guy too.
 
2012-07-03 10:13:46 PM  
Chris Brown just got Butt Slammed by Weenie and the Butt.
 
2012-07-03 10:26:56 PM  

oukewldave: Coco LaFemme: Who is his main fan base? Teenage girls. Teenage girls have the intellectual capacity of a dead marmoset. He could take a baby, shove it on a spike head-first and then piss on it, and at least half the audience would go, "OMG LOOK AT HIS ABS!!11!!" No wonder his shiat sells. It sells to people who have a lot of discretionary income and very little taste.

The sadder part is, I'm 30 and know many, many females my age who love this guy too.


As do I. Team Breezy Beat Me Senseless is alarmingly huge.
 
2012-07-03 10:34:07 PM  
I'm listening to the king of parody on Sirius so I'm getting a kick, etc.

/satellite radio means never having to listen to crap
 
2012-07-03 11:33:54 PM  
images.wikia.com
I want to intercourse w/ you-u-u-u-u
Relations!
 
2012-07-04 12:15:31 AM  
Meh, I'm not all that out of touch with pop music but wouldn't even know who the hell this guy was save for the random internet gossip about him being a domestic abuser. So I can't say I'd pick up his album expecting it to be brilliant or anything to begin with.
 
rpl
2012-07-04 12:39:17 AM  
I'll just leave this here...
 
2012-07-04 01:04:04 AM  
That dude needs to get his ass kicked.
 
2012-07-04 01:14:12 AM  
Wow these are some bad lyrics:
Wanna see your legs in the air / Baby, don't worry about your hair

Then we get this gem:
I don't wanna go there / We should never go there / Why you wanna go there? / I guess I gotta go there.

Then this:
So please don't judge me / And I won't judge you / 'Cause it could get ugly / Before it gets beautiful

Who farking buys this garbage?
 
2012-07-04 01:16:04 AM  
Funny how his nickname is Breezy when that is obvious (Bay/California) hip-hop slang for a female.
 
2012-07-04 01:36:22 AM  

Jim_Callahan: Meh, I'm not all that out of touch with pop music but wouldn't even know who the hell this guy was save for the random internet gossip about him being a domestic abuser. So I can't say I'd pick up his album expecting it to be brilliant or anything to begin with.


Why shouldn't you expect more from him?
Ike Turner was a domestic violence pioneer, but at least he could write a decent song.
 
2012-07-04 02:03:27 AM  

Mr.Poops: Wow these are some bad lyrics:
Wanna see your legs in the air / Baby, don't worry about your hair

Then we get this gem:
I don't wanna go there / We should never go there / Why you wanna go there? / I guess I gotta go there.

Then this:
So please don't judge me / And I won't judge you / 'Cause it could get ugly / Before it gets beautiful

Who farking buys this garbage?


Women. And you can thank them for 90% of reality shows too.
 
2012-07-04 02:42:55 AM  

ModernLuddite: Every time I turn on the radio I think it's just an elaborate joke to see what the public will accept and pay for.

//I have to believe dubstep is a joke.
////It's the only way I can sleep at night.


I typically switch between four stations when I'm driving.

1. NPR
2. The classic rock/pop station
3. The strictly classic rock station
4. The modern alternative station

Once in a while, I'll try the Top 40 station and I last about 10 seconds, max. The one exception I make, strangely, is for Lady Gaga, and I'm sort of ashamed to confess that. The rest of it is soulless, obnoxious, and without any kind of groove or edge. I can't think of any other time in American history where contemporary music was largely this awful.
 
2012-07-04 03:06:38 AM  

Coco LaFemme: Who is his main fan base? Teenage girls. Teenage girls have the intellectual capacity of a dead marmoset. He could take a baby, shove it on a spike head-first and then piss on it, and at least half the audience would go, "OMG LOOK AT HIS ABS!!11!!" No wonder his shiat sells. It sells to people who have a lot of discretionary income and very little taste.



I wonder how this happened. When I was in my teens it was the Backstreet Boys and 'N Sync that the girls were crazy about. The boy band's image was harmless to the point of absurdity.

Meh. I guess I'm just eager for the hip-hip and rap fad to end. It's declining, but not fast enough for me.
 
2012-07-04 03:31:18 AM  

God-is-a-Taco: I guess I'm just eager for the hip-hip and rap fad to end.


Ha, it's 2012, rap started in the late 70s, it's not a fad. You think rhyming, beats, and lyrics (not to mention graffiti art, DJing, and hip hop dance) is going to die out? Plus Chris Brown is more of an RNB/Pop act anyway, most hip hop fans don't want to claim his candy ass, he's for the young women.
 
2012-07-04 05:40:22 AM  

TheJoe03: God-is-a-Taco: I guess I'm just eager for the hip-hip and rap fad to end.

Ha, it's 2012, rap started in the late 70s, it's not a fad. You think rhyming, beats, and lyrics (not to mention graffiti art, DJing, and hip hop dance) is going to die out? Plus Chris Brown is more of an RNB/Pop act anyway, most hip hop fans don't want to claim his candy ass, he's for the young women.


Forget it, he's rolling.
 
2012-07-04 08:16:41 AM  
Ok, someone has to say it. I'm 44, and I like Chris Brown, and Pitbull, and Drake, and Rhianna. Its fun music, that's all. I doubt anyone of these artists thought to themselves "Better write super smart lyrics or they will make fun of me on Fark."

My favorite all time song is Sympathy for the Devil by my all time favorite band The Rolling Stones.

/pop music is pop music
 
2012-07-04 09:32:57 AM  

Wayne 985: ModernLuddite: Every time I turn on the radio I think it's just an elaborate joke to see what the public will accept and pay for.

//I have to believe dubstep is a joke.
////It's the only way I can sleep at night.

I typically switch between four stations when I'm driving.

1. NPR
2. The classic rock/pop station
3. The strictly classic rock station
4. The modern alternative station

Once in a while, I'll try the Top 40 station and I last about 10 seconds, max. The one exception I make, strangely, is for Lady Gaga, and I'm sort of ashamed to confess that. The rest of it is soulless, obnoxious, and without any kind of groove or edge. I can't think of any other time in American history where contemporary music was largely this awful.


As opposed to the music coming out whenever you were a teenager, which was all brilliant and meaningful.

Music isn't getting worse, you are getting old.
 
2012-07-04 09:48:44 AM  

Digitalstrange: Music isn't getting worse, you are getting old.


That's why I only listen to music produced before I was born or in countries where I don't speak the language.

//Not really, but close.

ModernLuddite: I have to believe dubstep is a joke.


I honestly don't get the hate for dubstep. It's not exactly a new genre or anything- it's pretty bog-standard electronic music. Yes, most of the current artists are hacks that couldn't even aspire to polish Wendy Carlos's mixing board, but the genre itself isn't really bad.
 
2012-07-04 10:20:15 AM  

PaisleyHunter: Ok, someone has to say it. I'm 44, and I like Chris Brown, and Pitbull, and Drake, and Rhianna. Its fun music, that's all. I doubt anyone of these artists thought to themselves "Better write super smart lyrics or they will make fun of me on Fark."

My favorite all time song is Sympathy for the Devil by my all time favorite band The Rolling Stones.

/pop music is pop music



That's as moronic as saying "rock music is rock music." There's a difference between Nickleback and The Who, and there's a difference between Chris Brown and fun.

There's good pop, and there's bad pop. And then there's bad pop that's performed by a douche that beats up women. Have a little discretion, and maybe the airwaves wouldn't be such a sh*tstorm today.
 
2012-07-04 10:32:35 AM  
Those "team breezy" people are farking crazy! I follow SI swimsuit model Chrissy Teegan on Twitter and she made fun of him in a tweet once . Those crazy ass breezy people went beserk! They threatened her, used the most foul derogatory terms etc. The sad part? They were mostly women and teenage girls.
 
2012-07-04 11:04:33 AM  

Dlightningd: That's as moronic as saying "rock music is rock music." There's a difference between Nickleback and The Who, and there's a difference between Chris Brown and fun.

There's good pop, and there's bad pop. And then there's bad pop that's performed by a douche that beats up women. Have a little discretion, and maybe the airwaves wouldn't be such a sh*tstorm today.


*snaps a Snapple cap over and over again*

This mammajamma gets it!
 
mhd
2012-07-04 01:15:13 PM  

Dlightningd: There's good pop, and there's bad pop. And then there's bad pop that's performed by a douche that beats up women.


I do agree with not supporting a douchebag financially. But the interesting thing about a line like "good pop, bad pop" is that the "pop" gets more emphasized than the "music" part, even when you're saying it. And the producers certainly know how to make songs popular today, surpassing even the wet dreams of Stock/Aitken/Waterman. So in that regard, doesn't this era produce the "best pop" ever?

It's a sad thought, but it's pretty hard to remove nostalgia from the equation. On a technical level, is there really a big difference between e.g. Pat Boone, Abba, Madonna and Usher?

Maybe staying power. I already notice that often you hear more 80s pop songs on the radio than the equivalents of the 90s and 00s. Not as clear as with anything approaching "rock", where you still hear awful hair metal, awful grunge and awful kiddie punk in equal measures, and I guess Nickelback will be as present there in 10 years as are Motley Crue and Papa Roach now.

/Not a big fan of anything "urban contemporary", whether it's Boyz II Men or Chris Brown, but that's my personal taste, and I'm reluctant to pass it on as an objective value judgment
 
2012-07-04 04:06:43 PM  

Wayne 985: I can't think of any other time in American history where contemporary music was largely this awful.


The 80s? Anyways, music is really great right now, but you have to look for it (the radio mostly doesn't play good modern music). With the internet and the diversity of music, I'd say this is one of the better eras for music, again, waaaay better than corny 80s garbage.
 
2012-07-05 11:04:30 AM  
I may screw up the name here (even though I own the Cd)...but why does someone like Jeonel Monet's Arch Android get so little attention and people like this get shoved down our throats? That CD is brilliant soul/pop/rock/you name it. That where fame should go to IMO.

Also need to add...this guys is the bad boy type... the type of guy women say they want nothing to do with. Having been the nice guy... the one that actually loses the girl to creeps like this....I just have to shake my head in dismay. Rhianna is also sending the wrong message about being smart with her choices.
 
2012-07-05 08:54:54 PM  

Dlightningd: PaisleyHunter: Ok, someone has to say it. I'm 44, and I like Chris Brown, and Pitbull, and Drake, and Rhianna. Its fun music, that's all. I doubt anyone of these artists thought to themselves "Better write super smart lyrics or they will make fun of me on Fark."

My favorite all time song is Sympathy for the Devil by my all time favorite band The Rolling Stones.

/pop music is pop music


That's as moronic as saying "rock music is rock music." There's a difference between Nickleback and The Who, and there's a difference between Chris Brown and fun.

There's good pop, and there's bad pop. And then there's bad pop that's performed by a douche that beats up women. Have a little discretion, and maybe the airwaves wouldn't be such a sh*tstorm today.


Then don't listen to the radio.
 
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