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(Mirror)   Guinness to publish "World's Grossest Records." Not for the faint of stomach   ( divider line
    More: Sick  
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23400 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Nov 2003 at 9:38 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

79 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-11-13 08:43:21 AM  
I give this a feh
2003-11-13 09:01:17 AM  
TWO substances called "Who Me?" and "The US Government Standard Bathroom Malodor" are jointly recognised as the world's smelliest substances. The US Government is currently investigating military applications of these substances. It is thought they could be used as giant stink bombs to disperse rioting crowds or separate warring factions.

Gentlmen, this is the weapon we've been waiting for. I say we speed up development and get this giant fart bomb over to Iraq immediately. Those bomb vest wearing freaks won't know what in the name of Allah hit 'em!
2003-11-13 09:20:31 AM  
My, how times have changed. Guinness use to discourage this 1.) to keep people from hurting themselves, and 2.) because there was no benefit to society to promote these kinds of records. For example, years ago there was a record about some guy who ate a bicycle. Guinness added a footnote that they would no longer accept any entries for this kind of stunt because of the reasons mentioned above. But, these days gross make money and that's what most corporations care about.
2003-11-13 09:45:07 AM  
Who needs this when we have reality television?
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2003-11-13 09:45:21 AM  
I was about to rant about how Guiness was going to get sued when somebody died replicating a stunt, but minoridiot pretty much said it all.
2003-11-13 09:45:45 AM  
Most Hand Amputations

wouldn't this stop at two?
unless they kept getting replacements and getting them cut off.
2003-11-13 09:46:01 AM  
Fear Factor contestants are going to sweep this. Except for the people in certain images. Images which, if posted to fark, will earn you an instant ban.
2003-11-13 09:47:04 AM  
World's stickiest bogey: Toxteth O'Grady, USA
2003-11-13 09:47:22 AM  
The undiscovered twin was the only really disgusting one. Whoever posted this must have a pretty weak constitution.
2003-11-13 09:47:56 AM  
I saw no mention of the fappinist fapper category. What gives?
2003-11-13 09:48:02 AM  
Oldest Undiscovered Twin

IN July 1997, a foetus was discovered in the abdomen of 16-year-old Hisham Ragab of Egypt, who had been complaining of stomach pains. A swollen sac found pressing against his kidneys turned out to be Hisham's 18cm-long identical twin. The foetus, which had been growing inside him, had lived to be 32 or 33 weeks old.

And I was about to comment that none of them were really gross.
2003-11-13 09:51:15 AM  
Didn't know what a courgette was so i dictionaried it.

One entry found for courgette.

Main Entry: courgette
Pronunciation: kur-'zhet
Function: noun
Etymology: French, diminutive of courge gourd, from Latin cucurbita
Date: 1931
chiefly British : ZUCCHINI

WTF? Why is this gross?
2003-11-13 09:51:37 AM  
Some of these are just stupid...

Most Milkshake Dispensed Through the Nose
Farthest Distance to Spit a Cricket
Most Smarties Eaten with Chopsticks in Three Minutes??

2003-11-13 09:52:04 AM  
Will Bill Clinton's cigar make it in?
2003-11-13 09:52:12 AM  
Unless it was the longest courgette pulled out of someones ass.
2003-11-13 09:54:56 AM  
Most Feet and Armpits Sniffed

MADELINE Albrecht was employed in Cincinnati, Ohio, at a lab testing products for Dr Scholl. She worked there for 15 years and had to smell approximately 5,600 feet and an indeterminate number of armpits

This biatch got a farking world record for having a shiatty job? WTF

Where the fark is my world record for "most time spent at office sleeping"? Or "Most time spent on while he should be pushing papers"?

2003-11-13 09:55:48 AM  

I give this a meh.
2003-11-13 09:58:25 AM  
World's lifetime spent on one's back award goes to 48 year old Jennifer "Star" Conaway at the corner of Rt 69 and Missionary Lane. Jennifer does some kind of "trick" that requires her to be on her back... more on that later
2003-11-13 10:02:59 AM  
Meh, if there aint entries for maggot cheese, pickles (ala L. Charms), or t*b g*rl, I want my money back
2003-11-13 10:05:42 AM  
Farthest Marshmallow Nose Blow

Toxteth O'Grady again!!!
2003-11-13 10:07:10 AM  
Farthest Marshmallow Nose Blow

THE farthest a marshmallow has been blown out of one nostril and caught in the mouth of a catcher is 4.96m. Scott Jeckel of Illinois, USA, launched a marshmallow into the mouth of Ray Perisin on the set of American Guinness World Records, on August 13, 1999.

Not gross, but by far the coolest! Where is the video??
2003-11-13 10:07:13 AM  
Well I'd like to see anybody try to beat my personal record of most chuncks of corn in my stool.

Wait, actually, I wouldn't.
2003-11-13 10:13:08 AM  
The world's record for stuffing marshmallows up one single nostril...

604, Toxteth O'Grady, U.S.A.

-----thanks PurpleJack
2003-11-13 10:14:10 AM  
Yeah that undiscovered twin thing is pretty farkin' nasty...although not the first time I've heard of that, there is a "joke" about it in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding." The mother tells her daughter's future in-laws that she had a bump on her neck and they discovered tooth and spine framents in it and it turned out to be her twin.
2003-11-13 10:15:57 AM  
"The bleeding that results from their feeding" - could almost be a line from a Darkness song... imagine it in a falsetto...
2003-11-13 10:16:04 AM  
Pic of the lovely Elaine Davidson, most pierced person of the planet:

[image from too old to be available]
2003-11-13 10:16:52 AM  
And a story
2003-11-13 10:19:31 AM  
"Toxteth O'Grady"'s real name?

Samuel Clemens.
2003-11-13 10:19:57 AM  
Hand amputed three times ? Piffle. How many times has Jacko had his face lopped off ?
2003-11-13 10:20:41 AM  
Did you even read the website?
"CLINT Hallam of New Zealand has had his right hand amputated three times. He first lost his hand in 1984 after an accident with a circular saw. Surgeons re-attached the limb, but an infection developed and it was removed again in 1988. In September 1998, doctors performed a pioneering hand transplant on Clint at a hospital in Lyons, France. But he later requested it be amputated again, and the operation was carried out at a London hospital on February 2, 2001."
2003-11-13 10:21:49 AM  
"You people are mean. I hope someday someone shoots at your loved ones on a regular basis."

Ahhh Lily...<sigh>
2003-11-13 10:25:53 AM  
2003-11-13 10:26:00 AM  
Damn, I spotted this moments too late.

If only I'd been aware before I went to the toilet, I might have taken apparatus to record events and take my rightful place in the book.
2003-11-13 10:27:09 AM  
How does tubg1rl and g0atse not make the GROSSEST list?
2003-11-13 10:27:48 AM  
When did records become not about doing somthing important that was actually significant and required some type of skill and instead doing something disgusting or some other odd act more suited to a freak show than a record book?

Like being world's fattest man, how is that a skill. Now world's tallest I could see, but fattest? Who cares if some mofo decided that he wanted to be the size of a car and smell like rotting fish that ate rotten eggs?
2003-11-13 10:31:35 AM  
I found a 1975 hardbound Guinness Book of World Records in a box in the basement recently.

It was blessedly free of stupid self-abuse records.
2003-11-13 10:32:28 AM  
Don't mind me asking but who is this "tubg1rl"
It sounds like I dont really want to know.
2003-11-13 10:34:12 AM  
oooh nevermind.... as always google has shown me the way.
2003-11-13 10:53:10 AM  
2003-11-13 10:32:28 AM ImShocked

Don't mind me asking but who is this "tubg1rl"
It sounds like I dont really want to know.

Maybe someone could just describe her. I don't actually want to see the picture, but I would at least like to know out of pure curiosity.
2003-11-13 10:54:03 AM  
A courgette is, I believe, a zucchini. Why the world's longest zucchini would be considered gross I don't know.
2003-11-13 10:54:24 AM  
I bet tongue dog is in there. That dogs tongue was enormous.
2003-11-13 10:59:07 AM  
Only a couple are disgusting...most just weird...but the one about worms in your gut looking like a shag pile carpet made me feel ill. Imagine that inside you.
2003-11-13 11:04:20 AM  
The Big Mac eating threw me out there...It said he ate 9 Big Macs in a day. Are you kidding me? I couldn't bear the thought of eating 9 Big Macs in a week. I wonder if this guy is still alive. If so he could probably sue McDonalds like all the rest of the overweight people who eat McDonald's type food everyday and wonder...oops...that was the topic the other day.
2003-11-13 11:11:46 AM  
Seriously, is that Big Mac guy alive? How is that even possible? Although the guy who set the record for eating the most hotdogs in a sitting. . (something like 44) is a skinny little Asian dude, so I suppose anything is possible.
2003-11-13 11:21:31 AM  
Farthest Marshmallow Nose Blow

Toxteth O'Grady again!!!
2003-11-13 11:27:18 AM  
"tubg1rl" is a picture of a g1rl in a b4thtub p00p1ng on her own f4ce. Quite graphically I might add. It's really somewhat revolting.
2003-11-13 11:33:42 AM  

I wouldn't call it "pooping"
2003-11-13 11:33:53 AM  
[Puts down sandwich]

Thanks Pacer. I'm all set now.
2003-11-13 11:43:13 AM  
Sadly, Guinness had already declined into the worlds grossest records years ago. I can't even watch the stupid show on TV, as every "new" record is simply some asshat doing something idiotic. Nothing of merit. Bah-

2003-11-13 11:43:19 AM  
Yeah, "pooping" is a bit too generous. It's more akin to Old Faithful.
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