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(CTV News)   Man survives harrowing ordeal after getting lost in the Ontario wilderness. For 15 HOURS he subsisted on nothing but fresh water and a warm fire. FIFTEEN HOURS   (toronto.ctvnews.ca) divider line 44
    More: Fail, Ontario Provincial Police, rescue dogs, fresh water, McCrae Lake Conservation Area  
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7491 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jul 2012 at 5:54 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-07-03 04:58:32 PM
33 votes:

FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

Pfft. Week, motherfarka.

Oh yeah? I didn't have a pillow, I had to use a jacket instead! Take that!

I... dear farking Christ, how'd you make it?!



You just have to sew some sleeves onto a vest. But that's not important right now.
2012-07-03 03:12:03 PM
13 votes:
I was once locked outside of a liquor store for 24 hours.
2012-07-03 06:06:20 PM
3 votes:

gopher321: mikdeetx: There are swamps in Ontario? Or really, isn't that just the permafrost melting?

Believe it or not, I was told Ontario has the second largest swamp in North America,


Is it the Leafs?
2012-07-03 08:05:16 PM
2 votes:
He was facing certain discomfort and all you people can do is laugh. You guys don't know what he went through. He was in a swamp!

He could have contracted amoebas and parasites and...and...wet feet! What about those Ontario swamp mosquitoes? Have you seen how big they get? OK, I haven't either, but I'm sure they get pretty big.

He's lucky he was able to walk out under his own power.
2012-07-03 06:48:00 PM
2 votes:

sno man: Mog32Kupo: 15 Hours?

Didn't know they made 'em that soft in Toronto


/apologies to any Torontions, Torontians...Torontons?...PEOPLE FROM TORONTO!

Torontonians



And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!
2012-07-03 06:43:59 PM
2 votes:

Harry_Seldon: FloydA: I was once locked outside of a liquor store for 24 hours.

I was once locked in a meat store freezer with my brother, Bobby, once.



i105.photobucket.com
2012-07-03 06:29:43 PM
2 votes:
And in the dead of summer no less!
2012-07-03 06:07:20 PM
2 votes:
cdn.runt-of-the-web.com
2012-07-03 06:03:34 PM
2 votes:
This reminds me of some farker's recent CSB that they once walked two miles to buy a Stephen King novel. Two miles! Oh the humanity! What a fan that man is! Presumably he took a backpack full of cheeseypuffs and mountain dew to ward off starvation on that heroic quest. Is this the same guy? Is there a new Stephen King book out?
2012-07-03 06:03:13 PM
2 votes:
To make things even more interesting, he killed 16 Czechoslovakians and he was an interior decorator.
2012-07-03 06:02:13 PM
2 votes:
What the article didn't mention is he went with 2 other people but had to resort to cannibalism after the first 6-hours...
2012-07-03 02:54:25 PM
2 votes:
Is it too early for me to use my internet GED in Medicine to diagnose PTSD?
2012-07-03 02:48:06 PM
2 votes:
That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!
2012-07-04 01:15:58 PM
1 votes:
Could he still speak and understand English? After about 12 hours I would have become competely feral and learned to run with the wolves.
2012-07-04 01:41:09 AM
1 votes:
"Oh man, it was really rough! I had to eat a lizard and drink my urine!"

"You were only out here for ten minutes."
2012-07-03 10:50:00 PM
1 votes:
"Swamp water" is what Canadians call Coors Light.
2012-07-03 08:39:17 PM
1 votes:

Gyrfalcon: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Oh, and none of you FARKers better Farkie me as "Cannibal Idiot". I'm still pretty sensitive about it.

Howabout "Hannibal Lecter"? You're smart enough for that.


That's what mom says. She says I'm so bright she calls me Son even after dark!
2012-07-03 08:17:22 PM
1 votes:

gopher321: mikdeetx: There are swamps in Ontario? Or really, isn't that just the permafrost melting?

Believe it or not, I was told Ontario has the second largest swamp in North America, next to the Okeepenokee or whatever you call it down south.


That's true. We call it "Toronto".
2012-07-03 08:09:39 PM
1 votes:

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

I once resorted to cannibalism after being trapped for 45 minutes in an elevator.


As a person who was once lost in an elevator, I resent you using it as a joke.

/was literally lost in an elevator
//old childless ladies need to remember, five year old children take things literally.
2012-07-03 08:07:20 PM
1 votes:

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

I once resorted to cannibalism after being trapped for 45 minutes in an elevator.


"Resorted"? More like took advantage of the opportunity, I'd bet.
2012-07-03 07:55:23 PM
1 votes:

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

I once resorted to cannibalism after being trapped for 45 minutes in an elevator.


I had to drink my own urine when trapped in a toilet stall for 30 seconds.
2012-07-03 07:45:15 PM
1 votes:
Note to Americans: If a Canadian knows you are American they will talk like a stereotypical Canadian and then laugh at you later on when they tell their friends about their encounter with an American. Its a hobby.
2012-07-03 07:22:59 PM
1 votes:
I was in Banff National Park and they lost my reservations for the Banff Springs Hotel and since it was summer I had to stay at a place that not only had no room service but they didn't even have a restaurant. I literally had to drive around looking for restaurants and speaking at Canadians, "Where aboot could I find a good restaurant, eh? No cheese soup or maple sugar pie or any a that shiate now."

The conference provided breakfast and lunch but I was on my own for dinner, the horror. It was touch and go for the entire week.

media.lonelyplanet.com
2012-07-03 07:13:34 PM
1 votes:

FloydA: FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

Pfft. Week, motherfarka.

Oh yeah? I didn't have a pillow, I had to use a jacket instead! Take that!

I... dear farking Christ, how'd you make it?!


You just have to sew some sleeves onto a vest. But that's not important right now.


Win.
2012-07-03 07:01:28 PM
1 votes:
I got lost downtown for about 3 hours, but I ate a hobo for strength. Luckily I survived, but I was getting hungry again and the hobos had fled the hunting grounds.
2012-07-03 06:52:30 PM
1 votes:
Anderson Cooper also reported : "The Toronto man also stubbed his toe and broke a nail !"
2012-07-03 06:45:03 PM
1 votes:
Came for this, which would make it a long 15 hours:
2012-07-03 06:33:04 PM
1 votes:

ordinarysteve: [upload.wikimedia.org image 640x480]
A picture of said swamp....well, for 41 nights a year at least (since they will never make the playoffs)


I found a better photo of the tower...

i252.photobucket.com

You're welcome. ;^)
2012-07-03 06:23:25 PM
1 votes:
I once SLEPT for 15 hours, WITHOUT water, surviving on nothing but my exhaustion and dreams of Jessica Alba.
2012-07-03 06:21:53 PM
1 votes:
I was lost once. I was a teenager, and was with my friend who was about 4 years older than me and very weird..we were in a forest..we found a cave and entered it..When we came out the other side there was an old stone building. There were monks there. The well-chamber was dimly lighted by lamps; the water was drawn with a windlass and chain by monks, and poured into troughs which delivered it into stone reservoirs outside in the chapel -- when there was water to draw, I mean -- and none but monks could enter the well-chamber. I entered it, for I had temporary authority to do so, by courtesy of my professional brother and subordinate. But he hadn't entered it himself. He did everything by incantations; he never worked his intellect. If he had stepped in there and used his eyes, instead of his disordered mind, he could have cured the well by natural means, and then turned it into a miracle in the customary way; but no, he was an old numskull, a magician who believed in his own magic; and no magician can thrive who is handicapped with a superstition like that.
2012-07-03 06:21:43 PM
1 votes:

skodabunny: This reminds me of some farker's recent CSB that they once walked two miles to buy a Stephen King novel. Two miles! Oh the humanity! What a fan that man is! Presumably he took a backpack full of cheeseypuffs and mountain dew to ward off starvation on that heroic quest. Is this the same guy? Is there a new Stephen King book out?


That's a silly question.
Stephen King released two novels, a collection of short stories, six novellas, and the scripts to four movies in the time it took you to write your comment.
2012-07-03 06:19:54 PM
1 votes:
When he got back to civilization did he have problems adjusting? Did his family remember him? Declare him dead?
2012-07-03 06:14:44 PM
1 votes:

sno man: Donner


FTA: Donner was reported missing the previous day, after he did not return from a walk while camping with friends over the long weekend.

I wonder how many of his friends returned. Do not go camping with a man named Donner.
2012-07-03 06:14:19 PM
1 votes:
The real story is when they find out what happened to the friends he was camping with.
2012-07-03 06:11:25 PM
1 votes:
Wait, this last guy's name was "Donner"? That's like having the last name "Manson" and making the news because you made a kid cry because you pretended you had his nose.
2012-07-03 06:10:43 PM
1 votes:

Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!


My AC isn't working.
2012-07-03 06:09:08 PM
1 votes:

BHK: Stonicus - that's not from lack of body fat, that's from too much sugar in the diet. Very few people have too little body fat to survive for less than a week on nothing but water; most of us can go far longer. It's the insulin resistance developed over time from a high carb diet that makes a person dizzy when he's only gone a few hours without food. It's why fatties are so hungry all the time (I know, I was one until I stopped eating all that processed crap that passes for food nowadays.)


I rarely get tired... And I don't eat a lot of sugar... but I eat my body's weight in meat... =P
2012-07-03 06:03:26 PM
1 votes:
I had to spend a weekend at my GFs parents cabin in the woods w/parents, 10 miles from anywhere without vodka.
2012-07-03 05:58:16 PM
1 votes:
img2-1.timeinc.net
2012-07-03 04:52:51 PM
1 votes:

Representative of the unwashed masses: FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

Pfft. Week, motherfarka.

Oh yeah? I didn't have a pillow, I had to use a jacket instead! Take that!


I... dear farking Christ, how'd you make it?!
2012-07-03 04:39:18 PM
1 votes:
RE: the picture accompanying the article...that's a Hurr Durr picture if I ever saw one.
2012-07-03 04:21:04 PM
1 votes:
heh heh.... Donner party of one....
15 hours and needed to drink swamp water to survive... I wonder if he thought about cutting off his leg for something to eat.
2012-07-03 03:46:54 PM
1 votes:

BurnShrike: Wow. What a harrowing tale. How ever did he manage to stay alive for 15 hours in the forest?


He's lucky he wasn't eaten by beavers or something.
2012-07-03 03:35:30 PM
1 votes:

FloydA: I was once locked outside of a liquor store for 24 hours.


It's ok, someday it will be ok, but now you know. Always carry an emergency flask of rum with you!
 
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