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(CTV News)   Man survives harrowing ordeal after getting lost in the Ontario wilderness. For 15 HOURS he subsisted on nothing but fresh water and a warm fire. FIFTEEN HOURS   (toronto.ctvnews.ca ) divider line
    More: Fail, Ontario Provincial Police, rescue dogs, fresh water, McCrae Lake Conservation Area  
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7508 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jul 2012 at 5:54 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-03 07:04:06 PM  

Mog32Kupo: 15 Hours?

Didn't know they made 'em that soft in Toronto


/apologies to any Torontions, Torontians...Torontons?...PEOPLE FROM TORONTO!


The preferred nomenclature is Morontonian.
 
2012-07-03 07:11:23 PM  

Biv: Really? 77 posts and no drinking of piss?

Fark, I am disappoint.


nobody drinks piss until the 16th hour.
 
2012-07-03 07:13:34 PM  

FloydA: FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

Pfft. Week, motherfarka.

Oh yeah? I didn't have a pillow, I had to use a jacket instead! Take that!

I... dear farking Christ, how'd you make it?!


You just have to sew some sleeves onto a vest. But that's not important right now.


Win.
 
2012-07-03 07:13:38 PM  
Pfft, amateur. One week I had to stay at the Red Roof in Indianapolis 'cause the Hilton Garden Inn was booked for the Indy 500.
 
Biv
2012-07-03 07:17:14 PM  
I was once locked in a mall overnight.

A hot mannequin chick came to life and we farked.

It was pretty cool
 
2012-07-03 07:22:59 PM  
I was in Banff National Park and they lost my reservations for the Banff Springs Hotel and since it was summer I had to stay at a place that not only had no room service but they didn't even have a restaurant. I literally had to drive around looking for restaurants and speaking at Canadians, "Where aboot could I find a good restaurant, eh? No cheese soup or maple sugar pie or any a that shiate now."

The conference provided breakfast and lunch but I was on my own for dinner, the horror. It was touch and go for the entire week.

media.lonelyplanet.com
 
2012-07-03 07:24:25 PM  
I feel sorry for this guy. He didn't ask CTV News to report the 'story', making him out to be a grunting, swamp water slurping pussy.
 
2012-07-03 07:24:47 PM  
What, Ontario, California?
 
2012-07-03 07:31:16 PM  

OscarTamerz: I literally had to drive around looking for restaurants and speaking at Canadians, "Where aboot could I find a good restaurant, eh? No cheese soup or maple sugar pie or any a that shiate now."


I LOL'd. Reminds me of the way my Auntie from Kelowna and my cousins from Sasquatchland speak, eh?
 
2012-07-03 07:37:28 PM  

gopher321: mikdeetx: There are swamps in Ontario? Or really, isn't that just the permafrost melting?

Believe it or not, I was told Ontario has the second largest swamp in North America, next to the Okeepenokee or whatever you call it down south.

/not so interesting factoid


Yeah, but I hear it is full of swamp penguins and marsh sea lions.
 
2012-07-03 07:40:20 PM  
elk-tamer: Thank you for the link. It brought back memories of hiking in the NH mountains in June.
 
2012-07-03 07:40:22 PM  
By popular demand ...
 
2012-07-03 07:43:45 PM  
If I was him, I'd go home and kill myself. What a douche !
 
2012-07-03 07:44:39 PM  

elk-tamer: Came for this, which would make it a long 15 hours:


Thanks. The National Film Board certainly does have some gems.
 
2012-07-03 07:45:01 PM  
For someone who considers a stay at the Holiday Inn as roughing in, this could be considered a harrowing experience.

/I would have packed a wine box, to sustain me.
 
2012-07-03 07:45:15 PM  
Note to Americans: If a Canadian knows you are American they will talk like a stereotypical Canadian and then laugh at you later on when they tell their friends about their encounter with an American. Its a hobby.
 
2012-07-03 07:45:37 PM  
roughing IT...
 
2012-07-03 07:53:06 PM  

Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!


I once resorted to cannibalism after being trapped for 45 minutes in an elevator.
 
2012-07-03 07:55:23 PM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

I once resorted to cannibalism after being trapped for 45 minutes in an elevator.


I had to drink my own urine when trapped in a toilet stall for 30 seconds.
 
2012-07-03 07:59:36 PM  

Gyrfalcon: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

I once resorted to cannibalism after being trapped for 45 minutes in an elevator.

I had to drink my own urine when trapped in a toilet stall for 30 seconds.


One time I... Nevermind, I can't top that. :)
 
2012-07-03 08:05:16 PM  
He was facing certain discomfort and all you people can do is laugh. You guys don't know what he went through. He was in a swamp!

He could have contracted amoebas and parasites and...and...wet feet! What about those Ontario swamp mosquitoes? Have you seen how big they get? OK, I haven't either, but I'm sure they get pretty big.

He's lucky he was able to walk out under his own power.
 
2012-07-03 08:07:20 PM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

I once resorted to cannibalism after being trapped for 45 minutes in an elevator.


"Resorted"? More like took advantage of the opportunity, I'd bet.
 
2012-07-03 08:09:01 PM  

Perducci: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

I once resorted to cannibalism after being trapped for 45 minutes in an elevator.

"Resorted"? More like took advantage of the opportunity, I'd bet.


That's exactly what the Grand Jury said!
 
2012-07-03 08:09:39 PM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

I once resorted to cannibalism after being trapped for 45 minutes in an elevator.


As a person who was once lost in an elevator, I resent you using it as a joke.

/was literally lost in an elevator
//old childless ladies need to remember, five year old children take things literally.
 
2012-07-03 08:13:31 PM  

dywed88: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

I once resorted to cannibalism after being trapped for 45 minutes in an elevator.

As a person who was once lost in an elevator, I resent you using it as a joke.

/was literally lost in an elevator
//old childless ladies need to remember, five year old children take things literally.


OK, I confess. It wasn't an elevator, it was an escalator.
 
2012-07-03 08:16:54 PM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: dywed88: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

I once resorted to cannibalism after being trapped for 45 minutes in an elevator.

As a person who was once lost in an elevator, I resent you using it as a joke.

/was literally lost in an elevator
//old childless ladies need to remember, five year old children take things literally.

OK, I confess. It wasn't an elevator, it was an escalator.


If you could get lost on an escalator, you'd need to resort to cannibalism. If not there, then when you couldn't find your way out of the mall...
 
2012-07-03 08:17:22 PM  

gopher321: mikdeetx: There are swamps in Ontario? Or really, isn't that just the permafrost melting?

Believe it or not, I was told Ontario has the second largest swamp in North America, next to the Okeepenokee or whatever you call it down south.


That's true. We call it "Toronto".
 
2012-07-03 08:18:41 PM  

Man survives harrowing ordeal after getting lost in the Ontario wilderness. For 15 HOURS he subsisted on nothing but fresh water and a warm fire. FIFTEEN HOURS

For 15 HOURS he subsisted on nothing but fresh water and a warm fire. FIFTEEN HOURS

he subsisted on nothing but a warm fire



Talk about burying the lead. Screw food, let's just do direct transfer of energy!

/nerd
 
2012-07-03 08:20:02 PM  

Whatthefark: He was facing certain discomfort and all you people can do is laugh. You guys don't know what he went through. He was in a swamp!

He could have contracted amoebas and parasites and...and...wet feet! What about those Ontario swamp mosquitoes? Have you seen how big they get? OK, I haven't either, but I'm sure they get pretty big.

He's lucky he was able to walk out under his own power.


Oh yes, the mosquitoes are as big as crows up near Georgian Bay, but nowhere near as big as the ones up in my hometown, which were as big as eagles! They carried off small children and sucked them dry of all blood. Seriously. And you really don't need to hear about the size and voraciousness of the swarms of blackflies.

/Yes, I could easily spend 15 hours in the bush in summer and drink swamp water, and not even need a fire. We've done that plenty of times in the past.
//And yes, I grew up next to a swamp too!! Woot!
 
2012-07-03 08:21:05 PM  

Gyrfalcon: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: dywed88: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

I once resorted to cannibalism after being trapped for 45 minutes in an elevator.

As a person who was once lost in an elevator, I resent you using it as a joke.

/was literally lost in an elevator
//old childless ladies need to remember, five year old children take things literally.

OK, I confess. It wasn't an elevator, it was an escalator.

If you could get lost on an escalator, you'd need to resort to cannibalism. If not there, then when you couldn't find your way out of the mall...


Alright in retrospect perhaps I acted hastily, and committed some acts that I regret. But it was a looong escalator.
 
2012-07-03 08:28:49 PM  
Oh, and none of you FARKers better Farkie me as "Cannibal Idiot". I'm still pretty sensitive about it.
 
2012-07-03 08:34:52 PM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Oh, and none of you FARKers better Farkie me as "Cannibal Idiot". I'm still pretty sensitive about it.


Howabout "Hannibal Lecter"? You're smart enough for that.
 
2012-07-03 08:35:46 PM  
15 'whole' hours? In a row?

Wow. Impressive.
 
2012-07-03 08:39:17 PM  

Gyrfalcon: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Oh, and none of you FARKers better Farkie me as "Cannibal Idiot". I'm still pretty sensitive about it.

Howabout "Hannibal Lecter"? You're smart enough for that.


That's what mom says. She says I'm so bright she calls me Son even after dark!
 
2012-07-03 08:43:04 PM  
hell, my wife thinks roughing it is staying at a hotel without room service, should have heard her biatch when we stayed at a Motel 6, I would rather spend 15 hours in the forest with creepy crawlies.
 
2012-07-03 08:53:38 PM  

publikenemy: I was lost once. I was a teenager, and was with my friend who was about 4 years older than me and very weird..we were in a forest..we found a cave and entered it..When we came out the other side there was an old stone building. There were monks there. The well-chamber was dimly lighted by lamps; the water was drawn with a windlass and chain by monks, and poured into troughs which delivered it into stone reservoirs outside in the chapel -- when there was water to draw, I mean -- and none but monks could enter the well-chamber. I entered it, for I had temporary authority to do so, by courtesy of my professional brother and subordinate. But he hadn't entered it himself. He did everything by incantations; he never worked his intellect. If he had stepped in there and used his eyes, instead of his disordered mind, he could have cured the well by natural means, and then turned it into a miracle in the customary way; but no, he was an old numskull, a magician who believed in his own magic; and no magician can thrive who is handicapped with a superstition like that.


You are set upon by a party of orcs.
 
2012-07-03 09:06:44 PM  
nope, not a drop of fresh water to be found anywhere...

glska.freehostia.com
 
2012-07-03 09:32:27 PM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Gyrfalcon: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Oh, and none of you FARKers better Farkie me as "Cannibal Idiot". I'm still pretty sensitive about it.

Howabout "Hannibal Lecter"? You're smart enough for that.

That's what mom says. She says I'm so bright she calls me Son even after dark!


Now you're getting silly.

Busy this weekend?
 
2012-07-03 09:42:25 PM  
I was trapped in the Canadian wilderness this weekend with nothing but a fishing rod, tent, fire, beer, bourbon, rum, hot dogs, chips, m&ms, bagels, weed, a couple of good friends and a very happy dog.

/rejected "I Shouldn't Be Alive" episode
 
2012-07-03 09:48:19 PM  

ontariolightning: if he got lost in winter he'd have been dead within an hour


Not last winter. Almost had no snow and well above average temperatures. In a real winter up here we can get several feet of snow a day.
/just a half hour from there.
//Mosquitoes are pretty prolific this year
 
2012-07-03 09:48:25 PM  

Gyrfalcon: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Oh, and none of you FARKers better Farkie me as "Cannibal Idiot". I'm still pretty sensitive about it.

Howabout "Hannibal Lecter"? You're smart enough for that.


By the way, that's my username on other forums.
 
2012-07-03 09:53:01 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org

"During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days."
 
2012-07-03 10:05:40 PM  
Hell, I once had to drive all the way from one service center to the next (on the 401) before I could score an extra bag of cheezies.

And not only that, but when I got to Smiths Falls, there wasn't a damn chocolate bar in sight. What's up wit dat???
 
2012-07-03 10:06:59 PM  
Can we kick Canada out of the union already?
 
2012-07-03 10:08:47 PM  

sno man: heh heh.... Donner party of one....
15 hours and needed to drink swamp water to survive... I wonder if he thought about cutting off his leg for something to eat.


Ladyfingers they taste like ladyfingers
 
2012-07-03 10:50:00 PM  
"Swamp water" is what Canadians call Coors Light.
 
2012-07-03 10:50:37 PM  
This afternoon, the barista gave me a mochachino with whipped cream when I clearly specified NO WHIP.
You can imagine my chagrin.
 
2012-07-03 11:04:51 PM  

random97: "Swamp water" is what Canadians call Coors Light.


Wait! WAIT!

WAIT!!!



Do you mean by "fresh water" that he had to do without alcohol?!?

I'm gonna have to back up 150 posts and reevaluate.
 
2012-07-03 11:26:20 PM  
I once got snowed in at my in-laws for 2 days. *shudder*
 
2012-07-03 11:37:51 PM  
i survived three days without air conditioning this past weekend, after the derecho passed. I grew a big shaggy beard, didn't shower, my eyes became sunken and haunted, like a man who's witnessed things human eyes were never meant to see.

cache.gizmodo.com
 
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