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(CTV News)   Man survives harrowing ordeal after getting lost in the Ontario wilderness. For 15 HOURS he subsisted on nothing but fresh water and a warm fire. FIFTEEN HOURS   (toronto.ctvnews.ca) divider line 160
    More: Fail, Ontario Provincial Police, rescue dogs, fresh water, McCrae Lake Conservation Area  
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7487 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jul 2012 at 5:54 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-03 02:48:06 PM
That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!
 
2012-07-03 02:50:03 PM

Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!


Pfft. Week, motherfarka.
 
2012-07-03 02:53:42 PM

FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

Pfft. Week, motherfarka.


Oh yeah? I didn't have a pillow, I had to use a jacket instead! Take that!
 
2012-07-03 02:54:25 PM
Is it too early for me to use my internet GED in Medicine to diagnose PTSD?
 
2012-07-03 02:54:30 PM
Suck it, Bear Grylls
 
2012-07-03 02:55:23 PM
What's the matter, Bear Grylls? Your bladder wasn't producing fluid?
 
2012-07-03 03:12:03 PM
I was once locked outside of a liquor store for 24 hours.
 
2012-07-03 03:22:00 PM
Wow. What a harrowing tale. How ever did he manage to stay alive for 15 hours in the forest?
 
2012-07-03 03:35:30 PM

FloydA: I was once locked outside of a liquor store for 24 hours.


It's ok, someday it will be ok, but now you know. Always carry an emergency flask of rum with you!
 
2012-07-03 03:46:54 PM

BurnShrike: Wow. What a harrowing tale. How ever did he manage to stay alive for 15 hours in the forest?


He's lucky he wasn't eaten by beavers or something.
 
2012-07-03 04:21:04 PM
heh heh.... Donner party of one....
15 hours and needed to drink swamp water to survive... I wonder if he thought about cutting off his leg for something to eat.
 
2012-07-03 04:39:18 PM
RE: the picture accompanying the article...that's a Hurr Durr picture if I ever saw one.
 
2012-07-03 04:46:39 PM

ToxicMunkee: RE: the picture accompanying the article...that's a Hurr Durr picture if I ever saw one.


I'm thinking more, "Who farted, eh?"
 
2012-07-03 04:52:51 PM

Representative of the unwashed masses: FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

Pfft. Week, motherfarka.

Oh yeah? I didn't have a pillow, I had to use a jacket instead! Take that!


I... dear farking Christ, how'd you make it?!
 
2012-07-03 04:58:32 PM

FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

Pfft. Week, motherfarka.

Oh yeah? I didn't have a pillow, I had to use a jacket instead! Take that!

I... dear farking Christ, how'd you make it?!



You just have to sew some sleeves onto a vest. But that's not important right now.
 
2012-07-03 05:02:38 PM
Weaksauce. Based on past experience, I'm good for up to 3 days of moderate walking and no food.
 
2012-07-03 05:30:23 PM
Oh, the humanity! I hope S&R spared no expense and had every available copter circling the area and tracking dogs on his trail. As a taxpayer, I'm TOTALLY ok with the expense.

TOTALLY.
 
2012-07-03 05:56:32 PM
Someone needs to post the Bear Grylls drinks his own piss .jpg
 
2012-07-03 05:57:24 PM
One of the good things about being overweight... 15 hours of no food is nothing.
Maybe I put too much gas in my gas tank, but there's several people where I work who at least once a day look like they're about to pass out until they go eat something. Stop running on fumes!!!
 
2012-07-03 05:57:48 PM
Can't wait for the movie!
 
2012-07-03 05:58:16 PM
img2-1.timeinc.net
 
2012-07-03 05:58:29 PM
There are swamps in Ontario? Or really, isn't that just the permafrost melting?
 
2012-07-03 05:59:28 PM

mikdeetx: There are swamps in Ontario? Or really, isn't that just the permafrost melting?


In northern Canada it's generally called muskeg. Very similar to a swamp down south during the summer months.
 
2012-07-03 06:01:24 PM
I'm waiting for the book. I always like to read these survival books before the movie comes out.
 
2012-07-03 06:01:29 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Suck it, Bear Grylls


Well, this guy IS a better survivalist than Bear. He didn't need a farking motel.
 
BHK
2012-07-03 06:02:08 PM
Stonicus - that's not from lack of body fat, that's from too much sugar in the diet. Very few people have too little body fat to survive for less than a week on nothing but water; most of us can go far longer. It's the insulin resistance developed over time from a high carb diet that makes a person dizzy when he's only gone a few hours without food. It's why fatties are so hungry all the time (I know, I was one until I stopped eating all that processed crap that passes for food nowadays.)
 
2012-07-03 06:02:13 PM
What the article didn't mention is he went with 2 other people but had to resort to cannibalism after the first 6-hours...
 
2012-07-03 06:02:30 PM

CravenMorehead: Can't wait for the movie!


...or I guess I could have read all the comments before making my own dumb joke.
 
2012-07-03 06:02:52 PM

mikdeetx: There are swamps in Ontario? Or really, isn't that just the permafrost melting?


Believe it or not, I was told Ontario has the second largest swamp in North America, next to the Okeepenokee or whatever you call it down south.

/not so interesting factoid
 
2012-07-03 06:03:13 PM
To make things even more interesting, he killed 16 Czechoslovakians and he was an interior decorator.
 
2012-07-03 06:03:26 PM
I had to spend a weekend at my GFs parents cabin in the woods w/parents, 10 miles from anywhere without vodka.
 
2012-07-03 06:03:34 PM
This reminds me of some farker's recent CSB that they once walked two miles to buy a Stephen King novel. Two miles! Oh the humanity! What a fan that man is! Presumably he took a backpack full of cheeseypuffs and mountain dew to ward off starvation on that heroic quest. Is this the same guy? Is there a new Stephen King book out?
 
2012-07-03 06:05:57 PM

FloydA: I was once locked outside of a liquor store for 24 hours.


I once tried to buy a 6-pack of beer at a convenience store in Topeka, Kansas on a Sunday.

/fortunately they allow buying drinks at bars on Sundays
//the hotel I was staying had a bar
///problem solved
 
2012-07-03 06:06:09 PM
Toronto man.....says it all.


*cough*wimp*cough*
 
2012-07-03 06:06:20 PM

gopher321: mikdeetx: There are swamps in Ontario? Or really, isn't that just the permafrost melting?

Believe it or not, I was told Ontario has the second largest swamp in North America,


Is it the Leafs?
 
2012-07-03 06:06:22 PM
I went to a festival once, and on day two the wine box ran out. Grim times. I mean, you should have seen the queue in the beer tent.
 
2012-07-03 06:06:49 PM
And probably no Internet.
 
2012-07-03 06:07:20 PM
cdn.runt-of-the-web.com
 
2012-07-03 06:08:12 PM
I'm not gonna lie, if my name was Donner I would never leave the city limits.
 
2012-07-03 06:09:08 PM

BHK: Stonicus - that's not from lack of body fat, that's from too much sugar in the diet. Very few people have too little body fat to survive for less than a week on nothing but water; most of us can go far longer. It's the insulin resistance developed over time from a high carb diet that makes a person dizzy when he's only gone a few hours without food. It's why fatties are so hungry all the time (I know, I was one until I stopped eating all that processed crap that passes for food nowadays.)


I rarely get tired... And I don't eat a lot of sugar... but I eat my body's weight in meat... =P
 
2012-07-03 06:09:56 PM
I spent 5hrs alone in a kayak today... ON TIDAL WATER and I had to paddle... AGAINST THE TIDE.. I survived on nothing but a gallon of water and Gatorade. ... Whoooa is me..
 
2012-07-03 06:10:43 PM

Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!


My AC isn't working.
 
2012-07-03 06:10:58 PM

FloydA: gopher321: mikdeetx: There are swamps in Ontario? Or really, isn't that just the permafrost melting?

Believe it or not, I was told Ontario has the second largest swamp in North America,

Is it the Leafs?


upload.wikimedia.org
A picture of said swamp....well, for 41 nights a year at least (since they will never make the playoffs)
 
2012-07-03 06:11:25 PM
Wait, this last guy's name was "Donner"? That's like having the last name "Manson" and making the news because you made a kid cry because you pretended you had his nose.
 
2012-07-03 06:13:06 PM
When did canadians become such pussies? Was this an edict from the queen?

When a person is "lost" for 15 hours, nothing that he does is considered as survival.
 
2012-07-03 06:13:37 PM

Ponzholio: What the article didn't mention is he went with 2 other people but had to resort to cannibalism after the first 6-hours...


This.
 
2012-07-03 06:13:55 PM
Sources say his grueling hike through that slightly overgrown starbuck's parking lot clearly took years off his life, and family is demanding compensation..
 
2012-07-03 06:14:00 PM

DownDaRiver: I had to spend a weekend at my GFs parents cabin in the woods w/parents, 10 miles from anywhere without vodka.


10 miles from anywhere without vodka? That doesn't sound too bad.
 
2012-07-03 06:14:19 PM
The real story is when they find out what happened to the friends he was camping with.
 
2012-07-03 06:14:44 PM

sno man: Donner


FTA: Donner was reported missing the previous day, after he did not return from a walk while camping with friends over the long weekend.

I wonder how many of his friends returned. Do not go camping with a man named Donner.
 
2012-07-03 06:14:54 PM

chuckufarlie: When did canadians become such pussies? Was this an edict from the queen?

When a person is "lost" for 15 hours, nothing that he does is considered as survival.


To be fair, it's not like he issued the press release and phoned a publisher immediately.

That we know of.
 
2012-07-03 06:15:38 PM

Ponzholio: What the article didn't mention is he went with 2 other people but had to resort to cannibalism after the first 6-hours...


Mmmm...back bacon.
 
2012-07-03 06:16:01 PM

FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

Pfft. Week, motherfarka.

Oh yeah? I didn't have a pillow, I had to use a jacket instead! Take that!

I... dear farking Christ, how'd you make it?!


LUXURY! The first time I went camping in the desert, a 80+ mph windstorm blew up, forcing us to strike our tents and seek the paltry shelter of the 36ft tractor trailer we'd brought along. Dozens of people were forced to survive for nearly two hours with nothing more than a supply of ice, margarita mix, tequila, and a battery powered blender.

We had no coarse salt! do you hear me, NO SALT!

(completely true story btw)
 
2012-07-03 06:17:16 PM
I went 9 months one time with no food or drink, my only life line was a cord and placenta. Does that count? I think I may have drank my own urine during this time, but the memories are so dark.
 
2012-07-03 06:17:50 PM

mikdeetx: There are swamps in Ontario? Or really, isn't that just the permafrost melting?


The Greenock Swamp by where I grew up was pretty famous small distilleries set up during prohibition. Also is supposed to be a pretty good place for disposing of bodies for the same reason. If you get into the middle of it and don't want to be found, you aren't going to be found.

Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!


Let's keep this in perspective, this man was from Toronto. He is lucky he made it 15 minutes without having a nervous breakdown.
 
2012-07-03 06:18:29 PM

FloydA: gopher321: mikdeetx: There are swamps in Ontario? Or really, isn't that just the permafrost melting?

Believe it or not, I was told Ontario has the second largest swamp in North America,

Is it the Leafs?


They're more of a desert, because they always come last! ah, aha.
 
2012-07-03 06:18:47 PM
I once spent a five hour layover at an airport in greater Detroit. I'm surprised I made it out alive.
 
2012-07-03 06:18:59 PM

gopher321: mikdeetx: There are swamps in Ontario? Or really, isn't that just the permafrost melting?

Believe it or not, I was told Ontario has the second largest swamp in North America, next to the Okeepenokee or whatever you call it down south.

/not so interesting factoid


Much of the area north and east of the lakes Superior and Huron is swamp.
 
2012-07-03 06:19:41 PM

Erix: chuckufarlie: When did canadians become such pussies? Was this an edict from the queen?

When a person is "lost" for 15 hours, nothing that he does is considered as survival.

To be fair, it's not like he issued the press release and phoned a publisher immediately.

That we know of.


no matter what he may have done, the news people should nave ignored this "story".
 
2012-07-03 06:19:44 PM

FloydA: FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

Pfft. Week, motherfarka.

Oh yeah? I didn't have a pillow, I had to use a jacket instead! Take that!

I... dear farking Christ, how'd you make it?!


You just have to sew some sleeves onto a vest. But that's not important right now.


Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.
 
2012-07-03 06:19:54 PM
When he got back to civilization did he have problems adjusting? Did his family remember him? Declare him dead?
 
2012-07-03 06:20:33 PM

skinink: I once spent a five hour layover at an airport in greater Detroit. I'm surprised I made it out alive.


now you did it, Detroit will be sending somebody to find you and correct this oversight.
 
2012-07-03 06:21:24 PM

FloydA: Believe it or not, I was told Ontario has the second largest swamp in North America,

Is it the Leafs?


Swamps of Sadness, maybe.

/Just signed Artax to a 3-yr $35M deal
 
2012-07-03 06:21:43 PM

skodabunny: This reminds me of some farker's recent CSB that they once walked two miles to buy a Stephen King novel. Two miles! Oh the humanity! What a fan that man is! Presumably he took a backpack full of cheeseypuffs and mountain dew to ward off starvation on that heroic quest. Is this the same guy? Is there a new Stephen King book out?


That's a silly question.
Stephen King released two novels, a collection of short stories, six novellas, and the scripts to four movies in the time it took you to write your comment.
 
2012-07-03 06:21:53 PM
I was lost once. I was a teenager, and was with my friend who was about 4 years older than me and very weird..we were in a forest..we found a cave and entered it..When we came out the other side there was an old stone building. There were monks there. The well-chamber was dimly lighted by lamps; the water was drawn with a windlass and chain by monks, and poured into troughs which delivered it into stone reservoirs outside in the chapel -- when there was water to draw, I mean -- and none but monks could enter the well-chamber. I entered it, for I had temporary authority to do so, by courtesy of my professional brother and subordinate. But he hadn't entered it himself. He did everything by incantations; he never worked his intellect. If he had stepped in there and used his eyes, instead of his disordered mind, he could have cured the well by natural means, and then turned it into a miracle in the customary way; but no, he was an old numskull, a magician who believed in his own magic; and no magician can thrive who is handicapped with a superstition like that.
 
2012-07-03 06:23:25 PM
I once SLEPT for 15 hours, WITHOUT water, surviving on nothing but my exhaustion and dreams of Jessica Alba.
 
2012-07-03 06:23:50 PM
I had to check the weather for the area. It was 75-80 during the day and 65 at night. Perfect camping weather.
 
2012-07-03 06:25:27 PM
Apparently, he was down wit' OPP
 
2012-07-03 06:27:35 PM

satanorsanta: I had to check the weather for the area. It was 75-80 during the day and 65 at night. Perfect camping weather.


Knowing that, the question is how'd he survive being dragged out after only a few hours?
 
2012-07-03 06:27:42 PM

FloydA: FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

Pfft. Week, motherfarka.

Oh yeah? I didn't have a pillow, I had to use a jacket instead! Take that!

I... dear farking Christ, how'd you make it?!


You just have to sew some sleeves onto a vest. But that's not important right now.


Oh you!
 
2012-07-03 06:28:03 PM

satanorsanta: I had to check the weather for the area. It was 75-80 during the day and 65 at night. Perfect camping weather.


Seriously... They make it sound like if he didn't have a fire he would have died in freezing temperatures. Most people up north call what this guy did "Tuesday"..
 
2012-07-03 06:29:43 PM
And in the dead of summer no less!
 
2012-07-03 06:31:19 PM

Representative of the unwashed masses: FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

Pfft. Week, motherfarka.

Oh yeah? I didn't have a pillow, I had to use a jacket instead! Take that!


Wimp.

There i was, stuck on Hickam AFB, surrounded by $8 a six-pack Buds, with only a broken down box to rest my weary head on. Freakin' hurricane/inspection combo's- thought I'd never get back to Japan. Tried to take the circuitus route via Guam and discovered how the real military spent their days: snorkeling until 9, volleyball and beer for the rest of the day. More cardboard to sleep on for the next 4 days (you can actually get bored living in Paradise), two aborted flights due to Hurricane and humanitarian reasons before i finally made it back to Japan with a day of leave to spare.
 
2012-07-03 06:33:04 PM

ordinarysteve: [upload.wikimedia.org image 640x480]
A picture of said swamp....well, for 41 nights a year at least (since they will never make the playoffs)


I found a better photo of the tower...

i252.photobucket.com

You're welcome. ;^)
 
2012-07-03 06:35:02 PM

clowncar on fire: Representative of the unwashed masses: FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

Pfft. Week, motherfarka.

Oh yeah? I didn't have a pillow, I had to use a jacket instead! Take that!

Wimp.

There i was, stuck on Hickam AFB, surrounded by $8 a six-pack Buds, with only a broken down box to rest my weary head on. Freakin' hurricane/inspection combo's- thought I'd never get back to Japan. Tried to take the circuitus route via Guam and discovered how the real military spent their days: snorkeling until 9, volleyball and beer for the rest of the day. More cardboard to sleep on for the next 4 days (you can actually get bored living in Paradise), two aborted flights due to Hurricane and humanitarian reasons before i finally made it back to Japan with a day of leave to spare.


were you in the shiat?
 
2012-07-03 06:35:37 PM

Representative of the unwashed masses: clowncar on fire: Representative of the unwashed masses: FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

Pfft. Week, motherfarka.

Oh yeah? I didn't have a pillow, I had to use a jacket instead! Take that!

Wimp.

There i was, stuck on Hickam AFB, surrounded by $8 a six-pack Buds, with only a broken down box to rest my weary head on. Freakin' hurricane/inspection combo's- thought I'd never get back to Japan. Tried to take the circuitus route via Guam and discovered how the real military spent their days: snorkeling until 9, volleyball and beer for the rest of the day. More cardboard to sleep on for the next 4 days (you can actually get bored living in Paradise), two aborted flights due to Hurricane and humanitarian reasons before i finally made it back to Japan with a day of leave to spare.

were you in the shiat?


(nick nolte in tropic thunder pic here)
 
2012-07-03 06:35:48 PM
15 Hours?

Didn't know they made 'em that soft in Toronto


/apologies to any Torontions, Torontians...Torontons?...PEOPLE FROM TORONTO!
 
Biv
2012-07-03 06:38:46 PM
Really? 77 posts and no drinking of piss?

Fark, I am disappoint.
 
2012-07-03 06:39:19 PM

FloydA: I was once locked outside of a liquor store for 24 hours.


I was once locked in a meat store freezer with my brother, Bobby, once. The owner, of the butcher shop, Sam, warned us that their was no inside release. We should have sued him.
 
2012-07-03 06:40:11 PM
Oh, hai, what's up in this thread?

www.kobreguide.com
 
2012-07-03 06:40:40 PM

publikenemy: I was lost once. I was a teenager, and was with my friend who was about 4 years older than me and very weird..


LARPers in general.
 
2012-07-03 06:42:08 PM
OH.


Well, yeah, it was one of those toronto people. They tend to call in the army when the sidewalks get covered in snow.
 
2012-07-03 06:42:31 PM

Mog32Kupo: 15 Hours?

Didn't know they made 'em that soft in Toronto


/apologies to any Torontions, Torontians...Torontons?...PEOPLE FROM TORONTO!


Torontonians
and many are softer... I'm going to blame their parents.
 
2012-07-03 06:43:17 PM

BurnShrike: Wow. What a harrowing tale. How ever did he manage to stay alive for 15 hours in the forest?




......and in the SUMMER yet ! ! !
 
2012-07-03 06:43:59 PM

Harry_Seldon: FloydA: I was once locked outside of a liquor store for 24 hours.

I was once locked in a meat store freezer with my brother, Bobby, once.



i105.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-03 06:44:31 PM
If the Georgian Bay area is suffering from the usual black fly / deer fly season overlap and the mosquitoes are their usual size, then spending a night in the woods without some sort of protection wouldn't be a lot of fun - easily survivable, mind you, but not a lot of fun. At any rate, "survived" sounds a bit lame and desperate for clicks, "spent the night" is more accurate.

/suburbanite who cottages in the Muskokas
//shakes head in embarrassment at this article
 
2012-07-03 06:45:03 PM
Came for this, which would make it a long 15 hours:
 
2012-07-03 06:45:09 PM
You can get lost in the woods, but there is no shortage of food.
 
2012-07-03 06:47:33 PM

FloydA: FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

Pfft. Week, motherfarka.

Oh yeah? I didn't have a pillow, I had to use a jacket instead! Take that!

I... dear farking Christ, how'd you make it?!


You just have to sew some sleeves onto a vest. But that's not important right now.


Whelp. I pissed myself. So thank for that.
 
2012-07-03 06:48:00 PM

sno man: Mog32Kupo: 15 Hours?

Didn't know they made 'em that soft in Toronto


/apologies to any Torontions, Torontians...Torontons?...PEOPLE FROM TORONTO!

Torontonians



And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!
 
2012-07-03 06:48:54 PM

FloydA: I was once locked outside of a liquor store for 24 hours.


I was once locked in a liquor store for 24 hours. A part of my died that day.

Specifically, my liver.
 
2012-07-03 06:49:34 PM
went on an expedition one time and forgot the corkscrew and had to survive on food and water for several days.

nothing between me and the cold hard ground except a young native girl...
 
2012-07-03 06:51:00 PM

jonasborg: You can get lost in the woods, but there is no shortage of food.


most people, especially urbanites, wouldn't even be able to find a raspberry bush in the woods...
 
2012-07-03 06:52:01 PM

FloydA: FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

Pfft. Week, motherfarka.

Oh yeah? I didn't have a pillow, I had to use a jacket instead! Take that!

I... dear farking Christ, how'd you make it?!


You just have to sew some sleeves onto a vest. But that's not important right now.


Never knew wtf the "funny" button was for until that.
 
2012-07-03 06:52:30 PM
Anderson Cooper also reported : "The Toronto man also stubbed his toe and broke a nail !"
 
2012-07-03 06:58:25 PM

Harry_Seldon: FloydA: I was once locked outside of a liquor store for 24 hours.

I was once locked in a meat store freezer with my brother, Bobby, once. The owner, of the butcher shop, Sam, warned us that their was no inside release. We should have sued him.


In a strange turn of events, Marcia had shown up to pick up that abruzzo sausage all the cool kids were talking about at school. Fortunate for you, she was able to shake off those thoughts of a lusty demi- "jungle fever" fantasy filled weekend long enough to recognize your whiny plaintive cries for help she's come to know ever since your dad dragged her own mother out of the "Bottoms Up" club in Vegas only 3 short years ago.

That was before that biatch Alice showed up in that taunt maid's uniform...
 
2012-07-03 07:00:38 PM

FloydA: I was once locked outside of a liquor store for 24 hours.


You think that's bad? I once had to stay in Utah for two whole months for a job.
 
2012-07-03 07:01:28 PM
I got lost downtown for about 3 hours, but I ate a hobo for strength. Luckily I survived, but I was getting hungry again and the hobos had fled the hunting grounds.
 
2012-07-03 07:03:08 PM
With the heat and humidity in a swamp you damn well can die in 15 hours if you don't have water. Of course this is Canada, is it hot there too?
 
2012-07-03 07:03:46 PM
if he got lost in winter he'd have been dead within an hour
 
2012-07-03 07:04:06 PM

Mog32Kupo: 15 Hours?

Didn't know they made 'em that soft in Toronto


/apologies to any Torontions, Torontians...Torontons?...PEOPLE FROM TORONTO!


The preferred nomenclature is Morontonian.
 
2012-07-03 07:11:23 PM

Biv: Really? 77 posts and no drinking of piss?

Fark, I am disappoint.


nobody drinks piss until the 16th hour.
 
2012-07-03 07:13:34 PM

FloydA: FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

Pfft. Week, motherfarka.

Oh yeah? I didn't have a pillow, I had to use a jacket instead! Take that!

I... dear farking Christ, how'd you make it?!


You just have to sew some sleeves onto a vest. But that's not important right now.


Win.
 
2012-07-03 07:13:38 PM
Pfft, amateur. One week I had to stay at the Red Roof in Indianapolis 'cause the Hilton Garden Inn was booked for the Indy 500.
 
Biv
2012-07-03 07:17:14 PM
I was once locked in a mall overnight.

A hot mannequin chick came to life and we farked.

It was pretty cool
 
2012-07-03 07:22:59 PM
I was in Banff National Park and they lost my reservations for the Banff Springs Hotel and since it was summer I had to stay at a place that not only had no room service but they didn't even have a restaurant. I literally had to drive around looking for restaurants and speaking at Canadians, "Where aboot could I find a good restaurant, eh? No cheese soup or maple sugar pie or any a that shiate now."

The conference provided breakfast and lunch but I was on my own for dinner, the horror. It was touch and go for the entire week.

media.lonelyplanet.com
 
2012-07-03 07:24:25 PM
I feel sorry for this guy. He didn't ask CTV News to report the 'story', making him out to be a grunting, swamp water slurping pussy.
 
2012-07-03 07:24:47 PM
What, Ontario, California?
 
2012-07-03 07:31:16 PM

OscarTamerz: I literally had to drive around looking for restaurants and speaking at Canadians, "Where aboot could I find a good restaurant, eh? No cheese soup or maple sugar pie or any a that shiate now."


I LOL'd. Reminds me of the way my Auntie from Kelowna and my cousins from Sasquatchland speak, eh?
 
2012-07-03 07:37:28 PM

gopher321: mikdeetx: There are swamps in Ontario? Or really, isn't that just the permafrost melting?

Believe it or not, I was told Ontario has the second largest swamp in North America, next to the Okeepenokee or whatever you call it down south.

/not so interesting factoid


Yeah, but I hear it is full of swamp penguins and marsh sea lions.
 
2012-07-03 07:40:20 PM
elk-tamer: Thank you for the link. It brought back memories of hiking in the NH mountains in June.
 
2012-07-03 07:40:22 PM
By popular demand ...
 
2012-07-03 07:43:45 PM
If I was him, I'd go home and kill myself. What a douche !
 
2012-07-03 07:44:39 PM

elk-tamer: Came for this, which would make it a long 15 hours:


Thanks. The National Film Board certainly does have some gems.
 
2012-07-03 07:45:01 PM
For someone who considers a stay at the Holiday Inn as roughing in, this could be considered a harrowing experience.

/I would have packed a wine box, to sustain me.
 
2012-07-03 07:45:15 PM
Note to Americans: If a Canadian knows you are American they will talk like a stereotypical Canadian and then laugh at you later on when they tell their friends about their encounter with an American. Its a hobby.
 
2012-07-03 07:45:37 PM
roughing IT...
 
2012-07-03 07:53:06 PM

Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!


I once resorted to cannibalism after being trapped for 45 minutes in an elevator.
 
2012-07-03 07:55:23 PM

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

I once resorted to cannibalism after being trapped for 45 minutes in an elevator.


I had to drink my own urine when trapped in a toilet stall for 30 seconds.
 
2012-07-03 07:59:36 PM

Gyrfalcon: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

I once resorted to cannibalism after being trapped for 45 minutes in an elevator.

I had to drink my own urine when trapped in a toilet stall for 30 seconds.


One time I... Nevermind, I can't top that. :)
 
2012-07-03 08:05:16 PM
He was facing certain discomfort and all you people can do is laugh. You guys don't know what he went through. He was in a swamp!

He could have contracted amoebas and parasites and...and...wet feet! What about those Ontario swamp mosquitoes? Have you seen how big they get? OK, I haven't either, but I'm sure they get pretty big.

He's lucky he was able to walk out under his own power.
 
2012-07-03 08:07:20 PM

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

I once resorted to cannibalism after being trapped for 45 minutes in an elevator.


"Resorted"? More like took advantage of the opportunity, I'd bet.
 
2012-07-03 08:09:01 PM

Perducci: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

I once resorted to cannibalism after being trapped for 45 minutes in an elevator.

"Resorted"? More like took advantage of the opportunity, I'd bet.


That's exactly what the Grand Jury said!
 
2012-07-03 08:09:39 PM

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

I once resorted to cannibalism after being trapped for 45 minutes in an elevator.


As a person who was once lost in an elevator, I resent you using it as a joke.

/was literally lost in an elevator
//old childless ladies need to remember, five year old children take things literally.
 
2012-07-03 08:13:31 PM

dywed88: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

I once resorted to cannibalism after being trapped for 45 minutes in an elevator.

As a person who was once lost in an elevator, I resent you using it as a joke.

/was literally lost in an elevator
//old childless ladies need to remember, five year old children take things literally.


OK, I confess. It wasn't an elevator, it was an escalator.
 
2012-07-03 08:16:54 PM

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: dywed88: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

I once resorted to cannibalism after being trapped for 45 minutes in an elevator.

As a person who was once lost in an elevator, I resent you using it as a joke.

/was literally lost in an elevator
//old childless ladies need to remember, five year old children take things literally.

OK, I confess. It wasn't an elevator, it was an escalator.


If you could get lost on an escalator, you'd need to resort to cannibalism. If not there, then when you couldn't find your way out of the mall...
 
2012-07-03 08:17:22 PM

gopher321: mikdeetx: There are swamps in Ontario? Or really, isn't that just the permafrost melting?

Believe it or not, I was told Ontario has the second largest swamp in North America, next to the Okeepenokee or whatever you call it down south.


That's true. We call it "Toronto".
 
2012-07-03 08:18:41 PM
Man survives harrowing ordeal after getting lost in the Ontario wilderness. For 15 HOURS he subsisted on nothing but fresh water and a warm fire. FIFTEEN HOURS

For 15 HOURS he subsisted on nothing but fresh water and a warm fire. FIFTEEN HOURS

he subsisted on nothing but a warm fire


Talk about burying the lead. Screw food, let's just do direct transfer of energy!

/nerd
 
2012-07-03 08:20:02 PM

Whatthefark: He was facing certain discomfort and all you people can do is laugh. You guys don't know what he went through. He was in a swamp!

He could have contracted amoebas and parasites and...and...wet feet! What about those Ontario swamp mosquitoes? Have you seen how big they get? OK, I haven't either, but I'm sure they get pretty big.

He's lucky he was able to walk out under his own power.


Oh yes, the mosquitoes are as big as crows up near Georgian Bay, but nowhere near as big as the ones up in my hometown, which were as big as eagles! They carried off small children and sucked them dry of all blood. Seriously. And you really don't need to hear about the size and voraciousness of the swarms of blackflies.

/Yes, I could easily spend 15 hours in the bush in summer and drink swamp water, and not even need a fire. We've done that plenty of times in the past.
//And yes, I grew up next to a swamp too!! Woot!
 
2012-07-03 08:21:05 PM

Gyrfalcon: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: dywed88: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

I once resorted to cannibalism after being trapped for 45 minutes in an elevator.

As a person who was once lost in an elevator, I resent you using it as a joke.

/was literally lost in an elevator
//old childless ladies need to remember, five year old children take things literally.

OK, I confess. It wasn't an elevator, it was an escalator.

If you could get lost on an escalator, you'd need to resort to cannibalism. If not there, then when you couldn't find your way out of the mall...


Alright in retrospect perhaps I acted hastily, and committed some acts that I regret. But it was a looong escalator.
 
2012-07-03 08:28:49 PM
Oh, and none of you FARKers better Farkie me as "Cannibal Idiot". I'm still pretty sensitive about it.
 
2012-07-03 08:34:52 PM

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Oh, and none of you FARKers better Farkie me as "Cannibal Idiot". I'm still pretty sensitive about it.


Howabout "Hannibal Lecter"? You're smart enough for that.
 
2012-07-03 08:35:46 PM
15 'whole' hours? In a row?

Wow. Impressive.
 
2012-07-03 08:39:17 PM

Gyrfalcon: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Oh, and none of you FARKers better Farkie me as "Cannibal Idiot". I'm still pretty sensitive about it.

Howabout "Hannibal Lecter"? You're smart enough for that.


That's what mom says. She says I'm so bright she calls me Son even after dark!
 
2012-07-03 08:43:04 PM
hell, my wife thinks roughing it is staying at a hotel without room service, should have heard her biatch when we stayed at a Motel 6, I would rather spend 15 hours in the forest with creepy crawlies.
 
2012-07-03 08:53:38 PM

publikenemy: I was lost once. I was a teenager, and was with my friend who was about 4 years older than me and very weird..we were in a forest..we found a cave and entered it..When we came out the other side there was an old stone building. There were monks there. The well-chamber was dimly lighted by lamps; the water was drawn with a windlass and chain by monks, and poured into troughs which delivered it into stone reservoirs outside in the chapel -- when there was water to draw, I mean -- and none but monks could enter the well-chamber. I entered it, for I had temporary authority to do so, by courtesy of my professional brother and subordinate. But he hadn't entered it himself. He did everything by incantations; he never worked his intellect. If he had stepped in there and used his eyes, instead of his disordered mind, he could have cured the well by natural means, and then turned it into a miracle in the customary way; but no, he was an old numskull, a magician who believed in his own magic; and no magician can thrive who is handicapped with a superstition like that.


You are set upon by a party of orcs.
 
2012-07-03 09:06:44 PM
nope, not a drop of fresh water to be found anywhere...



glska.freehostia.com
 
2012-07-03 09:32:27 PM

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Gyrfalcon: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Oh, and none of you FARKers better Farkie me as "Cannibal Idiot". I'm still pretty sensitive about it.

Howabout "Hannibal Lecter"? You're smart enough for that.

That's what mom says. She says I'm so bright she calls me Son even after dark!


Now you're getting silly.

Busy this weekend?
 
2012-07-03 09:42:25 PM
I was trapped in the Canadian wilderness this weekend with nothing but a fishing rod, tent, fire, beer, bourbon, rum, hot dogs, chips, m&ms, bagels, weed, a couple of good friends and a very happy dog.

/rejected "I Shouldn't Be Alive" episode
 
2012-07-03 09:48:19 PM

ontariolightning: if he got lost in winter he'd have been dead within an hour


Not last winter. Almost had no snow and well above average temperatures. In a real winter up here we can get several feet of snow a day.
/just a half hour from there.
//Mosquitoes are pretty prolific this year
 
2012-07-03 09:48:25 PM

Gyrfalcon: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Oh, and none of you FARKers better Farkie me as "Cannibal Idiot". I'm still pretty sensitive about it.

Howabout "Hannibal Lecter"? You're smart enough for that.


By the way, that's my username on other forums.
 
2012-07-03 09:53:01 PM
upload.wikimedia.org

"During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days."
 
2012-07-03 10:05:40 PM
Hell, I once had to drive all the way from one service center to the next (on the 401) before I could score an extra bag of cheezies.

And not only that, but when I got to Smiths Falls, there wasn't a damn chocolate bar in sight. What's up wit dat???
 
2012-07-03 10:06:59 PM
Can we kick Canada out of the union already?
 
2012-07-03 10:08:47 PM

sno man: heh heh.... Donner party of one....
15 hours and needed to drink swamp water to survive... I wonder if he thought about cutting off his leg for something to eat.


Ladyfingers they taste like ladyfingers
 
2012-07-03 10:50:00 PM
"Swamp water" is what Canadians call Coors Light.
 
2012-07-03 10:50:37 PM
This afternoon, the barista gave me a mochachino with whipped cream when I clearly specified NO WHIP.
You can imagine my chagrin.
 
2012-07-03 11:04:51 PM

random97: "Swamp water" is what Canadians call Coors Light.


Wait! WAIT!
WAIT!!!


Do you mean by "fresh water" that he had to do without alcohol?!?

I'm gonna have to back up 150 posts and reevaluate.
 
2012-07-03 11:26:20 PM
I once got snowed in at my in-laws for 2 days. *shudder*
 
2012-07-03 11:37:51 PM
i survived three days without air conditioning this past weekend, after the derecho passed. I grew a big shaggy beard, didn't shower, my eyes became sunken and haunted, like a man who's witnessed things human eyes were never meant to see.

cache.gizmodo.com
 
2012-07-04 01:34:21 AM
The year was 1968. We were on recon in a steaming Mekong delta. An overheated private removed his flack jacket, revealing a T-shirt with an ironed-on sporting the MAD slogan "Up with Mini-skirts!". Well, we all had a good laugh, even though I didn't quite understand it. But our momentary lapse of concentration allowed "Charlie" to get the drop on us. I spent the next three years in a POW camp, forced to subsist on a thin stew made of fish, vegetables, prawns, coconut milk, and four kinds of rice. I came close to madness trying to find it here in the States, but they just can't get the spices right!
 
2012-07-04 01:41:09 AM
"Oh man, it was really rough! I had to eat a lizard and drink my urine!"

"You were only out here for ten minutes."
 
2012-07-04 01:44:17 AM

RexTalionis: Gyrfalcon: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Oh, and none of you FARKers better Farkie me as "Cannibal Idiot". I'm still pretty sensitive about it.

Howabout "Hannibal Lecter"? You're smart enough for that.

By the way, that's my username on other forums.


Hardly surprises me. You're a talented strategist and a skilled reader of other people.
 
2012-07-04 01:50:50 AM

random97: "Swamp water" is what Canadians call Coors Light.


Sounds like the Canadians were being overly generous
 
2012-07-04 03:24:17 AM
Jesus, way to represent, Torontodouche.

It was the Canadian wilderness; I'm sure there were at least a couple of beavers to chew on until help arrived.

/I've been on this couch for over 15 hours - where's my search party?
//preferably lumberjacks.
///of the hunky variety.
 
2012-07-04 04:13:01 AM

chuckufarlie: When did canadians become such pussies? Was this an edict from the queen?

When a person is "lost" for 15 hours, nothing that he does is considered as survival.


I don't think you fully understand what Fark is all about...
 
2012-07-04 05:09:27 AM

Gyrfalcon: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Gyrfalcon: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Oh, and none of you FARKers better Farkie me as "Cannibal Idiot". I'm still pretty sensitive about it.

Howabout "Hannibal Lecter"? You're smart enough for that.

That's what mom says. She says I'm so bright she calls me Son even after dark!

Now you're getting silly.

Busy this weekend?


Sorry it took me so long to reply. I went to take a nap and dreamed I was at Dodger Stadium dressed in a complete Giants uniform. I gotta practice my Spanish.

Am I busy this weekend? Other than giving my cat a bath, no!
 
2012-07-04 07:45:56 AM
Why is everyone giving this guy a hard time? He never called for help; he was reported missing by family. What was he supposed to do when he was found 15 hours later? Tell them to go away and come back another day? Did he ask CTV to publish this complete nonstory? No.
 
2012-07-04 11:33:07 AM

CluelessMoron: Why is everyone giving this guy a hard time?



Because we can.
 
2012-07-04 01:15:58 PM
Could he still speak and understand English? After about 12 hours I would have become competely feral and learned to run with the wolves.
 
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