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(CTV News)   Man survives harrowing ordeal after getting lost in the Ontario wilderness. For 15 HOURS he subsisted on nothing but fresh water and a warm fire. FIFTEEN HOURS   (toronto.ctvnews.ca) divider line 160
    More: Fail, Ontario Provincial Police, rescue dogs, fresh water, McCrae Lake Conservation Area  
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7494 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jul 2012 at 5:54 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-03 02:48:06 PM  
That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!
 
2012-07-03 02:50:03 PM  

Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!


Pfft. Week, motherfarka.
 
2012-07-03 02:53:42 PM  

FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

Pfft. Week, motherfarka.


Oh yeah? I didn't have a pillow, I had to use a jacket instead! Take that!
 
2012-07-03 02:54:25 PM  
Is it too early for me to use my internet GED in Medicine to diagnose PTSD?
 
2012-07-03 02:54:30 PM  
Suck it, Bear Grylls
 
2012-07-03 02:55:23 PM  
What's the matter, Bear Grylls? Your bladder wasn't producing fluid?
 
2012-07-03 03:12:03 PM  
I was once locked outside of a liquor store for 24 hours.
 
2012-07-03 03:22:00 PM  
Wow. What a harrowing tale. How ever did he manage to stay alive for 15 hours in the forest?
 
2012-07-03 03:35:30 PM  

FloydA: I was once locked outside of a liquor store for 24 hours.


It's ok, someday it will be ok, but now you know. Always carry an emergency flask of rum with you!
 
2012-07-03 03:46:54 PM  

BurnShrike: Wow. What a harrowing tale. How ever did he manage to stay alive for 15 hours in the forest?


He's lucky he wasn't eaten by beavers or something.
 
2012-07-03 04:21:04 PM  
heh heh.... Donner party of one....
15 hours and needed to drink swamp water to survive... I wonder if he thought about cutting off his leg for something to eat.
 
2012-07-03 04:39:18 PM  
RE: the picture accompanying the article...that's a Hurr Durr picture if I ever saw one.
 
2012-07-03 04:46:39 PM  

ToxicMunkee: RE: the picture accompanying the article...that's a Hurr Durr picture if I ever saw one.


I'm thinking more, "Who farted, eh?"
 
2012-07-03 04:52:51 PM  

Representative of the unwashed masses: FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

Pfft. Week, motherfarka.

Oh yeah? I didn't have a pillow, I had to use a jacket instead! Take that!


I... dear farking Christ, how'd you make it?!
 
2012-07-03 04:58:32 PM  

FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

Pfft. Week, motherfarka.

Oh yeah? I didn't have a pillow, I had to use a jacket instead! Take that!

I... dear farking Christ, how'd you make it?!



You just have to sew some sleeves onto a vest. But that's not important right now.
 
2012-07-03 05:02:38 PM  
Weaksauce. Based on past experience, I'm good for up to 3 days of moderate walking and no food.
 
2012-07-03 05:30:23 PM  
Oh, the humanity! I hope S&R spared no expense and had every available copter circling the area and tracking dogs on his trail. As a taxpayer, I'm TOTALLY ok with the expense.

TOTALLY.
 
2012-07-03 05:56:32 PM  
Someone needs to post the Bear Grylls drinks his own piss .jpg
 
2012-07-03 05:57:24 PM  
One of the good things about being overweight... 15 hours of no food is nothing.
Maybe I put too much gas in my gas tank, but there's several people where I work who at least once a day look like they're about to pass out until they go eat something. Stop running on fumes!!!
 
2012-07-03 05:57:48 PM  
Can't wait for the movie!
 
2012-07-03 05:58:16 PM  
img2-1.timeinc.net
 
2012-07-03 05:58:29 PM  
There are swamps in Ontario? Or really, isn't that just the permafrost melting?
 
2012-07-03 05:59:28 PM  

mikdeetx: There are swamps in Ontario? Or really, isn't that just the permafrost melting?


In northern Canada it's generally called muskeg. Very similar to a swamp down south during the summer months.
 
2012-07-03 06:01:24 PM  
I'm waiting for the book. I always like to read these survival books before the movie comes out.
 
2012-07-03 06:01:29 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Suck it, Bear Grylls


Well, this guy IS a better survivalist than Bear. He didn't need a farking motel.
 
BHK
2012-07-03 06:02:08 PM  
Stonicus - that's not from lack of body fat, that's from too much sugar in the diet. Very few people have too little body fat to survive for less than a week on nothing but water; most of us can go far longer. It's the insulin resistance developed over time from a high carb diet that makes a person dizzy when he's only gone a few hours without food. It's why fatties are so hungry all the time (I know, I was one until I stopped eating all that processed crap that passes for food nowadays.)
 
2012-07-03 06:02:13 PM  
What the article didn't mention is he went with 2 other people but had to resort to cannibalism after the first 6-hours...
 
2012-07-03 06:02:30 PM  

CravenMorehead: Can't wait for the movie!


...or I guess I could have read all the comments before making my own dumb joke.
 
2012-07-03 06:02:52 PM  

mikdeetx: There are swamps in Ontario? Or really, isn't that just the permafrost melting?


Believe it or not, I was told Ontario has the second largest swamp in North America, next to the Okeepenokee or whatever you call it down south.

/not so interesting factoid
 
2012-07-03 06:03:13 PM  
To make things even more interesting, he killed 16 Czechoslovakians and he was an interior decorator.
 
2012-07-03 06:03:26 PM  
I had to spend a weekend at my GFs parents cabin in the woods w/parents, 10 miles from anywhere without vodka.
 
2012-07-03 06:03:34 PM  
This reminds me of some farker's recent CSB that they once walked two miles to buy a Stephen King novel. Two miles! Oh the humanity! What a fan that man is! Presumably he took a backpack full of cheeseypuffs and mountain dew to ward off starvation on that heroic quest. Is this the same guy? Is there a new Stephen King book out?
 
2012-07-03 06:05:57 PM  

FloydA: I was once locked outside of a liquor store for 24 hours.


I once tried to buy a 6-pack of beer at a convenience store in Topeka, Kansas on a Sunday.

/fortunately they allow buying drinks at bars on Sundays
//the hotel I was staying had a bar
///problem solved
 
2012-07-03 06:06:09 PM  
Toronto man.....says it all.


*cough*wimp*cough*
 
2012-07-03 06:06:20 PM  

gopher321: mikdeetx: There are swamps in Ontario? Or really, isn't that just the permafrost melting?

Believe it or not, I was told Ontario has the second largest swamp in North America,


Is it the Leafs?
 
2012-07-03 06:06:22 PM  
I went to a festival once, and on day two the wine box ran out. Grim times. I mean, you should have seen the queue in the beer tent.
 
2012-07-03 06:06:49 PM  
And probably no Internet.
 
2012-07-03 06:07:20 PM  
cdn.runt-of-the-web.com
 
2012-07-03 06:08:12 PM  
I'm not gonna lie, if my name was Donner I would never leave the city limits.
 
2012-07-03 06:09:08 PM  

BHK: Stonicus - that's not from lack of body fat, that's from too much sugar in the diet. Very few people have too little body fat to survive for less than a week on nothing but water; most of us can go far longer. It's the insulin resistance developed over time from a high carb diet that makes a person dizzy when he's only gone a few hours without food. It's why fatties are so hungry all the time (I know, I was one until I stopped eating all that processed crap that passes for food nowadays.)


I rarely get tired... And I don't eat a lot of sugar... but I eat my body's weight in meat... =P
 
2012-07-03 06:09:56 PM  
I spent 5hrs alone in a kayak today... ON TIDAL WATER and I had to paddle... AGAINST THE TIDE.. I survived on nothing but a gallon of water and Gatorade. ... Whoooa is me..
 
2012-07-03 06:10:43 PM  

Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!


My AC isn't working.
 
2012-07-03 06:10:58 PM  

FloydA: gopher321: mikdeetx: There are swamps in Ontario? Or really, isn't that just the permafrost melting?

Believe it or not, I was told Ontario has the second largest swamp in North America,

Is it the Leafs?


upload.wikimedia.org
A picture of said swamp....well, for 41 nights a year at least (since they will never make the playoffs)
 
2012-07-03 06:11:25 PM  
Wait, this last guy's name was "Donner"? That's like having the last name "Manson" and making the news because you made a kid cry because you pretended you had his nose.
 
2012-07-03 06:13:06 PM  
When did canadians become such pussies? Was this an edict from the queen?

When a person is "lost" for 15 hours, nothing that he does is considered as survival.
 
2012-07-03 06:13:37 PM  

Ponzholio: What the article didn't mention is he went with 2 other people but had to resort to cannibalism after the first 6-hours...


This.
 
2012-07-03 06:13:55 PM  
Sources say his grueling hike through that slightly overgrown starbuck's parking lot clearly took years off his life, and family is demanding compensation..
 
2012-07-03 06:14:00 PM  

DownDaRiver: I had to spend a weekend at my GFs parents cabin in the woods w/parents, 10 miles from anywhere without vodka.


10 miles from anywhere without vodka? That doesn't sound too bad.
 
2012-07-03 06:14:19 PM  
The real story is when they find out what happened to the friends he was camping with.
 
2012-07-03 06:14:44 PM  

sno man: Donner


FTA: Donner was reported missing the previous day, after he did not return from a walk while camping with friends over the long weekend.

I wonder how many of his friends returned. Do not go camping with a man named Donner.
 
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