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(Slate)   Dear Prudie: my niece gets more toys than I can afford to buy for my kids. How do I explain to my sister that it's her fault my kids and I feel deprived?   (slate.com) divider line 184
    More: Dumbass, Emily Yoffe, Prudi, American Girl, nieces, Pepco, employment contracts, Lesley Gore, personal allowance  
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15013 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jul 2012 at 6:20 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-03 02:07:51 PM  
What a jealous wench. It sounds like her niece is learning how to become financially responsible and not just being given expensive toys for existing.

My cousins usually had nicer things than my siblings and I growing up, but we learned how to ask them to share so it didn't have an effect on us other than a bit of jealousy. We learned as adults that our uncle was basically embezzling from his company and buying all their toys that way. I'm okay with having missed out on my parents doing the same.
 
2012-07-03 02:11:25 PM  
LOL poor ppl
 
2012-07-03 02:14:58 PM  
Sounds like it's a perfect time to teach her kids that life isn't fair, and to get over it and move on.
 
2012-07-03 02:18:58 PM  
They require her to put a percentage in a savings account for college and donate another percentage to a local charity. My niece can spend the rest of her allowance on whatever she pleases. To my husband and me, who don't make nearly as much as my sister or my brother-in-law, our niece receives a very large allowance for a young child. The allowance was large enough that she was able to purchase the two American Girl dolls over the course of 18 months.

Why don't you ask your sister to donate her daughter's allowance to you, since you're so unfortunate?

What a coont.
 
2012-07-03 02:23:08 PM  
hmm... quick look on amazon... two dolls, $150 a pop, over 18 months....

Do the math, that's about $16 a month, or $4 a week allowance.

/Not exactly extravagant.
 
2012-07-03 02:26:57 PM  

The Loaf: hmm... quick look on amazon... two dolls, $150 a pop, over 18 months....

Do the math, that's about $16 a month, or $4 a week allowance.

/Not exactly extravagant.



I guess my son, who gets $5 a week for doing his chores, is spoiled rotten.
 
2012-07-03 02:29:18 PM  

The Loaf: hmm... quick look on amazon... two dolls, $150 a pop, over 18 months....

Do the math, that's about $16 a month, or $4 a week allowance.

/Not exactly extravagant.


Which makes you wonder why "poor" sister can't seem to save up $150 in a year to surprise her kid with an American Girl doll for Christmas or something.
 
2012-07-03 02:31:59 PM  
18 months is a virtual eternity to a young child. So, she's learned:

1) patience
2) planning
3) importance of saving
4) working toward a goal
5) things are earned

What a horrible little girl. She's worse than Veruca Salt.
 
2012-07-03 02:33:21 PM  

ricewater_stool: The Loaf: hmm... quick look on amazon... two dolls, $150 a pop, over 18 months....

Do the math, that's about $16 a month, or $4 a week allowance.

/Not exactly extravagant.


I guess my son, who gets $5 a week for doing his chores, is spoiled rotten.


I'm betting they give her $10/week - 10% to charity, 50% to college fund. That sounds more than reasonable to me.
 
2012-07-03 02:36:03 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: I'm betting they give her $10/week - 10% to charity, 50% to college fund. That sounds more than reasonable to me.


I guess that all depends on what "chores" they make her do.

/giggity
 
2012-07-03 02:51:41 PM  
Remember kids Santa doesn't bring toys to the poor kids because they don't deserve them as much as rich kids.
 
2012-07-03 04:13:54 PM  
Fake column is fake, guys...
 
2012-07-03 04:17:50 PM  
FTA: They require her to put a percentage in a savings account for college and donate another percentage to a local charity. My niece can spend the rest of her allowance on whatever she pleases. To my husband and me, who don't make nearly as much as my sister or my brother-in-law, our niece receives a very large allowance for a young child. The allowance was large enough that she was able to purchase the two American Girl dolls over the course of 18 months.

The kid has to work for her allowance and she's learning the value of thinking ahead, saving, and avoiding impulse buying. Those are lessons any parent should teach their kids. The woman who wrote the letter has envy issues. If she weren't envious of her sister, it would only be someone else.
 
2012-07-03 04:22:35 PM  
When I was a kid, I didn't even get an allowance.
 
2012-07-03 04:44:37 PM  
♫♪ Dear Prudie...won't you come out to play-ay-ay?
 
2012-07-03 04:54:11 PM  
I hope she doesn't get paid for that column. Her advise often sounds....simple. Not neccessarily bad, just not a whole lot of thought put into it. Someone later will come up with a better idea and she'll be "What they said".

Where can I score a gig like that?
 
2012-07-03 04:56:15 PM  
Helicopter parent. "Someone else's kid is making mine feel bad. Somebody needs to stop this immediately!"
 
2012-07-03 06:25:20 PM  
I swear most of the Dear Trudie columns are just people trolling.
 
2012-07-03 06:25:46 PM  

Ambivalence: I hope she doesn't get paid for that column. Her advise often sounds....simple. Not neccessarily bad, just not a whole lot of thought put into it. Someone later will come up with a better idea and she'll be "What they said".


+1
 
2012-07-03 06:28:41 PM  
I predict a calm and rational discussion of the discrepancy of wealth between societal strata in this thread.
 
2012-07-03 06:30:16 PM  

scottydoesntknow: They require her to put a percentage in a savings account for college and donate another percentage to a local charity. My niece can spend the rest of her allowance on whatever she pleases. To my husband and me, who don't make nearly as much as my sister or my brother-in-law, our niece receives a very large allowance for a young child. The allowance was large enough that she was able to purchase the two American Girl dolls over the course of 18 months.

Why don't you ask your sister to donate her daughter's allowance to you, since you're so unfortunate?

What a coont.


She sounds like part of that OWS crowd.
 
2012-07-03 06:32:27 PM  

Ambivalence: I hope she doesn't get paid for that column. Her advise often sounds....simple. Not neccessarily bad, just not a whole lot of thought put into it. Someone later will come up with a better idea and she'll be "What they said".


Seemed reasonable to me.

Q: Other people have more money than me, and I'm psychologically incapable of admitting my own insecurity without an external authority telling me to get over it and am transferring it to my kids, who in actuality probably don't care.

A: Get over it.

Q: I'm uncomfortable with one of the duties of my job.

A: Either learn to deal with it or quit.

Q: I met a nice guy who I later found out is a friend's ex. Is it morally acceptable to date him?

A: Yes.

Sure, they're simple answers, but come on, they're simple questions. Honestly the help that 99% of people that write in to advice columns need is jsut someone to state the obvious for them.
 
2012-07-03 06:34:02 PM  
What's the issue here? That the kid was able to save up for *18* months for two dolls she really wanted? Good for her and her parents- she's learning delayed gratification and money management.

My 7 year old son really wanted a Nintendo DS. Many of his friends have them and he's very upset that they were given them. But he gets $5/week in allowance and we just told him to save up if he really wanted it. He got serious about it a little while ago- he told us to stop him if he wanted to buy random toys with his allowance because he wanted to save for it.

He noticed the other day they were on sale at Wal Mart. The look on his face when he counted his allowance/saved birthday money was priceless- he had just enough. He's got his DS now, and it's *his* in a way that it never could be otherwise.
 
2012-07-03 06:35:03 PM  

CraicBaby: When I was a kid, I didn't even get an allowance.


Neither, and if I was supposed to feel jealous about it, I missed the memo.

ToxicMunkee: Which makes you wonder why "poor" sister can't seem to save up $150 in a year to surprise her kid with an American Girl doll for Christmas or something.


She strikes me as the kind of person who spends her entire paycheck on tanning beds, haircuts and fancy dresses. If she exists, I mean (as was mentioned before, it's probably bullshiat).
 
2012-07-03 06:35:57 PM  

hasty ambush: scottydoesntknow: They require her to put a percentage in a savings account for college and donate another percentage to a local charity. My niece can spend the rest of her allowance on whatever she pleases. To my husband and me, who don't make nearly as much as my sister or my brother-in-law, our niece receives a very large allowance for a young child. The allowance was large enough that she was able to purchase the two American Girl dolls over the course of 18 months.

Why don't you ask your sister to donate her daughter's allowance to you, since you're so unfortunate?

What a coont.

She sounds like part of that OWS crowd.


GFY.
 
2012-07-03 06:35:59 PM  
Meh. My cousins got more shiat than us. My sister and I did better than them. Don't worry about it.
 
2012-07-03 06:36:08 PM  
Kill yourself and your retarded children; problem solved.
 
Biv
2012-07-03 06:36:26 PM  

hasty ambush: scottydoesntknow: They require her to put a percentage in a savings account for college and donate another percentage to a local charity. My niece can spend the rest of her allowance on whatever she pleases. To my husband and me, who don't make nearly as much as my sister or my brother-in-law, our niece receives a very large allowance for a young child. The allowance was large enough that she was able to purchase the two American Girl dolls over the course of 18 months.

Why don't you ask your sister to donate her daughter's allowance to you, since you're so unfortunate?

What a coont.

She sounds like part of that OWS crowd.


Yup. Exact same mentality.
 
2012-07-03 06:36:38 PM  
This is a significant problem in a lot of areas. People honestly believe that they have the right to "not be made to feel bad".

Comment on someone's weight, and you're "fat-shaming--just stop it!"
Comment on someone's promiscuity and you're "slut-shaming--just stop it!"
Provide nice things for your family, and you're being "classist--just stop it!"
etc.

The problem is, if you need other people to "just stop it" in order to feel good about yourself, you're doomed to failure.
 
2012-07-03 06:37:12 PM  

ms_lara_croft: FTA: They require her to put a percentage in a savings account for college and donate another percentage to a local charity. My niece can spend the rest of her allowance on whatever she pleases. To my husband and me, who don't make nearly as much as my sister or my brother-in-law, our niece receives a very large allowance for a young child. The allowance was large enough that she was able to purchase the two American Girl dolls over the course of 18 months.

The kid has to work for her allowance and she's learning the value of thinking ahead, saving, and avoiding impulse buying. Those are lessons any parent should teach their kids. The woman who wrote the letter has envy issues. If she weren't envious of her sister, it would only be someone else.


^This.
The more I think about it, the more I agree...
And you can even play up social responsibility with the charity part too, getting the kid to think a little about what is important to her and putting her money toward that cause.
 
2012-07-03 06:38:09 PM  

ToxicMunkee: Which makes you wonder why "poor" sister can't seem to save up $150 in a year to surprise her kid with an American Girl doll for Christmas or something.


Hey, them iPhones ain't cheap...
 
2012-07-03 06:39:17 PM  

Diogenes: Benevolent Misanthrope: I'm betting they give her $10/week - 10% to charity, 50% to college fund. That sounds more than reasonable to me.

I guess that all depends on what "chores" they make her do.

/giggity


I know it is all fun and games here on Fark, but still incredibly creepy that even crossed your mind.
 
2012-07-03 06:39:51 PM  

brigid_fitch: Helicopter parent. "Someone else's kid is making mine feel bad. Somebody needs to stop this immediately!"


Helicopter parents feel the need to control every aspect of a kids life, which is bad due to a lack of self-reliance. This lady is bad because she feels her kids are entitled to equal treatment despite her utter lack of doing anything to affect a difference. She could work three hours a week and afford to give said allowance.
 
2012-07-03 06:41:52 PM  

Glockenspiel Hero: What's the issue here? That the kid was able to save up for *18* months for two dolls she really wanted? Good for her and her parents- she's learning delayed gratification and money management.

My 7 year old son really wanted a Nintendo DS. Many of his friends have them and he's very upset that they were given them. But he gets $5/week in allowance and we just told him to save up if he really wanted it. He got serious about it a little while ago- he told us to stop him if he wanted to buy random toys with his allowance because he wanted to save for it.

He noticed the other day they were on sale at Wal Mart. The look on his face when he counted his allowance/saved birthday money was priceless- he had just enough. He's got his DS now, and it's *his* in a way that it never could be otherwise.


Your kid bought toys at random? That is one of the strangest things I have ever heard.
 
2012-07-03 06:42:56 PM  
So instead of just putting money in a college fund and buying her kids stuff she is teaching them to do it for themselves? I AM OUTRAGED!!! How do I not be outraged?
 
2012-07-03 06:44:27 PM  

WhippingBoy: This is a significant problem in a lot of areas. People honestly believe that they have the right to "not be made to feel bad".

Comment on someone's weight, and you're "fat-shaming--just stop it!"
Comment on someone's promiscuity and you're "slut-shaming--just stop it!"
Provide nice things for your family, and you're being "classist--just stop it!"
etc.

The problem is, if you need other people to "just stop it" in order to feel good about yourself, you're doomed to failure.


I was going to say something in disagreement about slut shaming, but then I decided you are right. If any aspect of yourself bothers you when someone points them out, they may be assholes, but that is still a problem you have with yourself.
 
2012-07-03 06:44:28 PM  
LW sounds like a whiny biatch. The "spoiled" kid is going to grow up to be awesome.
 
2012-07-03 06:44:52 PM  
This just in ...

encrypted-tbn2.google.com

Film at eleven.
 
2012-07-03 06:46:31 PM  

Glockenspiel Hero: What's the issue here? That the kid was able to save up for *18* months for two dolls she really wanted? Good for her and her parents- she's learning delayed gratification and money management.

My 7 year old son really wanted a Nintendo DS. Many of his friends have them and he's very upset that they were given them. But he gets $5/week in allowance and we just told him to save up if he really wanted it. He got serious about it a little while ago- he told us to stop him if he wanted to buy random toys with his allowance because he wanted to save for it.

He noticed the other day they were on sale at Wal Mart. The look on his face when he counted his allowance/saved birthday money was priceless- he had just enough. He's got his DS now, and it's *his* in a way that it never could be otherwise.


When I was a wee lad, I wanted an Atari 2600. My dad wanted to get it for me for Christmas, but my mom put her foot down. So I had to save up my money to buy it. Took me a year to do so. For an entire year, my allowance was just handed over to the Atari fund. (I saved up to get a game or two)

And of course my allowance was free...I had chores to do around the house.
 
2012-07-03 06:46:39 PM  
I wonder what the venn diagram looks like when you compare the people decrying this woman and the people that cry about wealth disparity in this country.
 
2012-07-03 06:47:32 PM  

skinink: I swear most of the Dear Trudie columns are just people trolling.


That, and some she makes up herself.
 
2012-07-03 06:47:38 PM  

The Loaf: hmm... quick look on amazon... two dolls, $150 a pop, over 18 months....

Do the math, that's about $16 a month, or $4 a week allowance.

/Not exactly extravagant.


no, and it looks like the kid can save money for a purpose, which is a great thing
 
2012-07-03 06:49:44 PM  

assjuice: Glockenspiel Hero:

Your kid bought toys at random? That is one of the strangest things I have ever heard.


You've never been in a store with a 7 year old? He'd ask to stop by the toy aisle in a store and the first thing he saw he'd want to buy. We'd generally try to talk him out of the most absurd things, but we would allow him to use his allowance money if he really wanted. The point of an allowance is to let the kid have some small amount of money that's his- you get to make poor decisions if you want.

After about six months of not managing to save more than a few dollars he decided the DS was more important than the instant gratification of the random toy. I was happy to have him save up for it- it's a tough lesson to learn.
 
2012-07-03 06:50:03 PM  
I am going to introduce my kid to real life by requiring that he / she borrow money from me in order to have any toys at all. Then work off the debt with accumulating interest and a 10 year amortization. Then when it's all paid off when they reach 18, they'll know how nice it feels to be debt free and don't fill out every credit card application that shows up in the mail.
 
2012-07-03 06:50:45 PM  
Teach them indulgence makes you an annoying shiat, so your sister is giving their cousins the gift of Stupid.

/DNRTA
 
2012-07-03 06:54:15 PM  
That spoiled kid question wasn't the good one but the next 2 are gold. #2 is a secretary who arranges her boss's trysts with his girl friend and the third one is about fat pig with a 3 year old who thinks it's okay to slap on 30 pounds and is whining because her hubby doesn't like porking the porker any more. Her advice to #3 should have been see #2.
 
2012-07-03 06:54:29 PM  
laserjock.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-07-03 06:54:35 PM  

Posh Naranek: Teach them indulgence makes you an annoying shiat, so your sister is giving their cousins the gift of Stupid.

/DNRTA


You don't say!
 
2012-07-03 06:55:22 PM  

CraicBaby: When I was a kid, I didn't even get an allowance.


We used to get up 2 hours before we went to sleep, then we had to sweep the entire road with our tongues and when we got home we had a cold meal of rocks and sticks, then our father would murder us in cold blood.

etc, etc, with Monty Python, etc.
 
2012-07-03 06:55:24 PM  
louxfamilyblog.com
She should be grateful her useless kid has even one toy and a hopeful future, instead of AIDS and death.
 
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