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(Slate)   Dear Prudie: my niece gets more toys than I can afford to buy for my kids. How do I explain to my sister that it's her fault my kids and I feel deprived?   (slate.com ) divider line 184
    More: Dumbass, Emily Yoffe, Prudi, American Girl, nieces, Pepco, employment contracts, Lesley Gore, personal allowance  
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15023 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jul 2012 at 6:20 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-03 10:20:27 PM  

JonnyG: In this day and age, children should not be given an allowance. The kids of today have no future to look forward to and we should not get them used to things they won't have for much longer.


I dunno... getting them used to only ever making $5/week might be good for them.
 
2012-07-03 10:24:43 PM  

Ringshadow: loonatic112358: it was a known error

doll a evokes uncanny valley whilst her other dolls seem farter down in that valley

Uncanny Valley, as near as I can tell, has no set point. It's personal: yours is a bit different then someone else's.

For me, I couldn't watch Avatar. Even the preview skeeved me out so bad. The blue critters apparently are in my Uncanny Valley. And so are most old porcelain dolls and a lot of American Girl dolls. They creep me out.

My boy Desh, with his Coyote Taxidermy eyes? He's the sweetest poutiest doll.

[fc00.deviantart.net image 640x853]
Old wig with some eye glow going on.

[fc06.deviantart.net image 480x640]
Current wig, and his kneebrace.

/I have four ball joint dolls but Desh is my favorite
//he always is looking at you. ALWAYS
///yes, he's a boy, no I'm not going to pants him to prove it


Are you familiar with the Annette Hemstedts'? I'll try to find a link.
 
2012-07-03 10:27:02 PM  

Lunaville: OgreMagi: darkjezter: When I was a little kid and I biatched about things I didn't have, my parents would say things like "There are starving kids in Africa who would kill to have your problems. Get over it." This whiny, jealous coont needs to start telling her kids that.

When I was a kid it was starving kids in India. So one time I put the food in a box and asked my parents to ship it to the starving kids.

The resulting beating was epic.

A few years back I was helping chaperone a kids' overnight at our meeting for worship. There were a handful of children in attendance who were relatively recent arrivals from Eastern Africa. One of these children helped herself to an enormous amount of food much of which she then rejected after a single taste. She would take a bite, make a gagging gesture, and declare "This nasty. I can't eat this."

So, the guy helping me chaperone kind of lost it for a moment and said "Hey, we don't waste food here. There are people starving in Africa and ... " He realized who he was addressing and trailed off.

The little girl looked at him like he had completely lost his mind. She said "Man, are you crazy?" I started hurrying to hide in the kitchen right then, but I could still hear her behind me as she continued "What would people in Africa do with this food? If you shipped it, it would be rotten before it got there!"

He caught up with me in the kitchen shortly thereafter. We stood in there giggling like a couple of the kids and he said "I can not believe the words that just came out of my mouth. What was I thinking?"


Would be CSB... except for prominently featuring church.... and black people.
 
2012-07-03 10:28:06 PM  

Lunaville: Ringshadow: loonatic112358: it was a known error

doll a evokes uncanny valley whilst her other dolls seem farter down in that valley

Uncanny Valley, as near as I can tell, has no set point. It's personal: yours is a bit different then someone else's.

For me, I couldn't watch Avatar. Even the preview skeeved me out so bad. The blue critters apparently are in my Uncanny Valley. And so are most old porcelain dolls and a lot of American Girl dolls. They creep me out.

My boy Desh, with his Coyote Taxidermy eyes? He's the sweetest poutiest doll.

[fc00.deviantart.net image 640x853]
Old wig with some eye glow going on.

[fc06.deviantart.net image 480x640]
Current wig, and his kneebrace.

/I have four ball joint dolls but Desh is my favorite
//he always is looking at you. ALWAYS
///yes, he's a boy, no I'm not going to pants him to prove it

Are you familiar with the Annette Hemstedts'? I'll try to find a link.


I misspelled the last name, but I found a link. If you're a doll person, you might find it interesting. Link
 
2012-07-03 10:30:10 PM  

Pray 4 Mojo: Lunaville: OgreMagi: darkjezter: When I was a little kid and I biatched about things I didn't have, my parents would say things like "There are starving kids in Africa who would kill to have your problems. Get over it." This whiny, jealous coont needs to start telling her kids that.

When I was a kid it was starving kids in India. So one time I put the food in a box and asked my parents to ship it to the starving kids.

The resulting beating was epic.

A few years back I was helping chaperone a kids' overnight at our meeting for worship. There were a handful of children in attendance who were relatively recent arrivals from Eastern Africa. One of these children helped herself to an enormous amount of food much of which she then rejected after a single taste. She would take a bite, make a gagging gesture, and declare "This nasty. I can't eat this."

So, the guy helping me chaperone kind of lost it for a moment and said "Hey, we don't waste food here. There are people starving in Africa and ... " He realized who he was addressing and trailed off.

The little girl looked at him like he had completely lost his mind. She said "Man, are you crazy?" I started hurrying to hide in the kitchen right then, but I could still hear her behind me as she continued "What would people in Africa do with this food? If you shipped it, it would be rotten before it got there!"

He caught up with me in the kitchen shortly thereafter. We stood in there giggling like a couple of the kids and he said "I can not believe the words that just came out of my mouth. What was I thinking?"

Would be CSB... except for prominently featuring church.... and black people.


We don't attend church. We attend meeting for worship. We are a mixed race meeting.
 
2012-07-03 11:00:11 PM  

Lunaville: Pray 4 Mojo: Lunaville: OgreMagi: darkjezter: When I was a little kid and I biatched about things I didn't have, my parents would say things like "There are starving kids in Africa who would kill to have your problems. Get over it." This whiny, jealous coont needs to start telling her kids that.

When I was a kid it was starving kids in India. So one time I put the food in a box and asked my parents to ship it to the starving kids.

The resulting beating was epic.

A few years back I was helping chaperone a kids' overnight at our meeting for worship. There were a handful of children in attendance who were relatively recent arrivals from Eastern Africa. One of these children helped herself to an enormous amount of food much of which she then rejected after a single taste. She would take a bite, make a gagging gesture, and declare "This nasty. I can't eat this."

So, the guy helping me chaperone kind of lost it for a moment and said "Hey, we don't waste food here. There are people starving in Africa and ... " He realized who he was addressing and trailed off.

The little girl looked at him like he had completely lost his mind. She said "Man, are you crazy?" I started hurrying to hide in the kitchen right then, but I could still hear her behind me as she continued "What would people in Africa do with this food? If you shipped it, it would be rotten before it got there!"

He caught up with me in the kitchen shortly thereafter. We stood in there giggling like a couple of the kids and he said "I can not believe the words that just came out of my mouth. What was I thinking?"

Would be CSB... except for prominently featuring church.... and black people.

We don't attend church. We attend meeting for worship. We are a mixed race meeting.


Worship? In da oshun, dat wor.

/and prolly crewed by eastern Africans too
 
2012-07-03 11:13:16 PM  

Benjimin_Dover: Lunaville: Pray 4 Mojo: Lunaville: OgreMagi: darkjezter: When I was a little kid and I biatched about things I didn't have, my parents would say things like "There are starving kids in Africa who would kill to have your problems. Get over it." This whiny, jealous coont needs to start telling her kids that.

When I was a kid it was starving kids in India. So one time I put the food in a box and asked my parents to ship it to the starving kids.

The resulting beating was epic.

A few years back I was helping chaperone a kids' overnight at our meeting for worship. There were a handful of children in attendance who were relatively recent arrivals from Eastern Africa. One of these children helped herself to an enormous amount of food much of which she then rejected after a single taste. She would take a bite, make a gagging gesture, and declare "This nasty. I can't eat this."

So, the guy helping me chaperone kind of lost it for a moment and said "Hey, we don't waste food here. There are people starving in Africa and ... " He realized who he was addressing and trailed off.

The little girl looked at him like he had completely lost his mind. She said "Man, are you crazy?" I started hurrying to hide in the kitchen right then, but I could still hear her behind me as she continued "What would people in Africa do with this food? If you shipped it, it would be rotten before it got there!"

He caught up with me in the kitchen shortly thereafter. We stood in there giggling like a couple of the kids and he said "I can not believe the words that just came out of my mouth. What was I thinking?"

Would be CSB... except for prominently featuring church.... and black people.

We don't attend church. We attend meeting for worship. We are a mixed race meeting.

Worship? In da oshun, dat wor.

/and prolly crewed by eastern Africans too


I'm sorry, I'm old and don't get a lot of pop references. I have no idea what you're referring to.
 
2012-07-03 11:17:07 PM  

Lunaville: I misspelled the last name, but I found a link. If you're a doll person, you might find it interesting. Link


That is some artisanship, right there.

I'm not really a doll person, honestly. My four dollfies seem to be the exception and I'm not getting more, unless I buy an OOAK.
 
2012-07-03 11:17:56 PM  
Maybe they should teach their kids that if they want two American Girl dolls, they should go to school, work their asses off, and sacrifice to earn more - like most every "more fortunate" couple I know. Money ain't everything, but choosing to bust ass to achieve financial security is a valid life goal.

I have a host of friends who are less fortunate than I. I also remember most of them spending their college years drinking, goofing off, and taking their own sweet time to graduate (with no career plans or direction) while their parents footed the bill. I was working 40 hours a week, paying every cent myself, graduating early, getting an advanced degree and then spent 9 years working 65+ hours a week before ever taking a vacation. I'm not saying my choices are better than anyone elses, but it irks me when people in our lives talk about our "fortune".
 
2012-07-03 11:24:35 PM  

lostinjersey: I dunno. it all depends on how the other kids and parents act. Some people have more and are humble about it, others love to stick it in your face. it's not so cut and dried. Any magic;tg player who has faced Mr Suitcase knows exactly what I am talking about.

//was a mr suitcase but didn't realize it
//never thought I was flaunting anything, but I was
//nobody liked it
//i felt bad when i realized it
//slashies!!!!!


Hahahaha! I was never really in the M:TG hardcore playerdom, but used to play a lot as a teenager/early 20s. I sincerely thought the Mr. Suitcase at our school (a weedy kid with his dad's aluminum briefcase) was an isolated phenomenon.


He wasn't a bad sort overall, though, just laser-focused on the game and a bit impatient with everything else. I see how the suitcase attitude can go sideways with a quickness, though. Woof.
 
2012-07-03 11:28:23 PM  

Carousel Beast: Glockenspiel Hero: What's the issue here? That the kid was able to save up for *18* months for two dolls she really wanted? Good for her and her parents- she's learning delayed gratification and money management.

My 7 year old son really wanted a Nintendo DS. Many of his friends have them and he's very upset that they were given them. But he gets $5/week in allowance and we just told him to save up if he really wanted it. He got serious about it a little while ago- he told us to stop him if he wanted to buy random toys with his allowance because he wanted to save for it.

He noticed the other day they were on sale at Wal Mart. The look on his face when he counted his allowance/saved birthday money was priceless- he had just enough. He's got his DS now, and it's *his* in a way that it never could be otherwise.

My daughter is that way with her dinosaurs. They are well-cared for and always placed somewhere safe when not in use. She's also become a snob on what she'll spend her money on, and does research online before committing to her purchase. She's prioritized her purchases, too.

/She recommends Papo
//And has the $$$ already set aside for a kitten when we finish building our new home

Diclosure: My son has no such discipline despite the same system of chores/allowance/savings. So YMMV :/


I hear ya. My youngest (he was 10 at the time) saved up every cent he earned or received as gifts so that he could buy himself a digital camera. It took him 6 months to save up the money, but the look on his face when he counted out *his* money to buy *his* camera was priceless. He got to use it the very next weekend when we went to see the final shuttle launch. Took some pretty good pics / video too.

My oldest, on the other hand, couldn't hold on to a dollar if it were sewn to his hand.
 
2012-07-03 11:30:06 PM  

Ringshadow: loonatic112358: it was a known error

doll a evokes uncanny valley whilst her other dolls seem farter down in that valley

Uncanny Valley, as near as I can tell, has no set point. It's personal: yours is a bit different then someone else's.

For me, I couldn't watch Avatar. Even the preview skeeved me out so bad. The blue critters apparently are in my Uncanny Valley. And so are most old porcelain dolls and a lot of American Girl dolls. They creep me out.

My boy Desh, with his Coyote Taxidermy eyes? He's the sweetest poutiest doll.


Old wig with some eye glow going on.


Current wig, and his kneebrace.

/I have four ball joint dolls but Desh is my favorite
//he always is looking at you. ALWAYS
///yes, he's a boy, no I'm not going to pants him to prove it


I think pretty much everyone in the hobby who has ever brought their dolls to a public place or had more than one friend over has had to pants a doll at some point to prove their gender.


/has had to do this with male, female, and goat-footed dolls
//sigh, heh
 
2012-07-03 11:40:37 PM  
You have no complaint.
You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't.
 
2012-07-03 11:45:59 PM  

clowncar on fire: ladyfortuna: clowncar on fire: Sheila_McSly:
Actually- i have no trouble parting with things that have gone unused for a while when I loan them out. If someone is getting better use out of them then me- no loss.


I have an irrational fear of the day I am too sick/injured to do anything BUT play video games. When my car was rear ended in May, before the EMTs got there, my hands and fingers were tingling like crazy and one of the (many) thoughts I had was 'shiat, how am I gonna play video games if I'm laid up??'.

You have no idea how relieved I was when the paramedics told me that's a common immediate sign of shock, since I'd never heard of that happening before other than nerve damage.
 
2012-07-04 12:03:53 AM  

PsiChick: WhippingBoy: This is a significant problem in a lot of areas. People honestly believe that they have the right to "not be made to feel bad".

Comment on someone's weight, and you're "fat-shaming--just stop it!"
Comment on someone's promiscuity and you're "slut-shaming--just stop it!"
Provide nice things for your family, and you're being "classist--just stop it!"
etc.

The problem is, if you need other people to "just stop it" in order to feel good about yourself, you're doomed to failure.

That last one is the only one that is even remotely like what you're describing.

Have you ever seen someone 'comment' on someone else's weight? 'Fat b*tch', 'lazy', 'f***ing willpower, use it'--those are not helpful, polite concerns. Helpful, polite concerns come from a doctor. Honestly, what I listed is actually fairly easygoing for weight comments--I've seen Fark threads where people spew entire posts of nothing but hate and vitriol, and if the fat person involved is female, usually with the implication that she is permanently ugly.

Slut-shaming is not a 'comment on promiscuity', either. Typically, it's when a rape victim is called a slut, usually because the person doing the slut-shaming is on the side of the rapist.

There are a lot of oversensitive people out there, but you're not supporting honest, caring opinions. You're supporting cruelty and hate. There are certainly ways to make caring and honest opinions, but what you cited are not.


You missed the point. It doesn't matter if they're honest, caring options, or if they're full of hate and vitriol. If your plan involves "convincing" other people to change their behaviour before you can feel confident/safe/good about yourself then you've already lost. There's always going to be jerks; if you can't feel good about yourself in spite of them, there's no real hope for you.

Here's a test: if someone on Fark has ever made you feel really, really mad for more than an instant, you've lost.
 
2012-07-04 12:33:31 AM  

WhippingBoy: PsiChick: WhippingBoy:

You missed the point. It doesn't matter if they're honest, caring options, or if they're full of hate and vitriol. If your plan involves "convincing" other people to change their behaviour before you can feel confident/safe/good about yourself then you've already lost. There's always going to be jerks; if you can't feel good about yourself in spite of them, there's no real hope for you.

Here's a test: if someone on Fark has ever made you feel really, really mad for more than an instant, you've lost.


I think you missed my point--sure, they may have 'won', but when someone's calling you a filthy whore, we as a culture probably should be telling them not to do that.
 
2012-07-04 01:28:41 AM  

Lunaville: Benjimin_Dover: Lunaville: Pray 4 Mojo: Lunaville: OgreMagi: darkjezter: When I was a little kid and I biatched about things I didn't have, my parents would say things like "There are starving kids in Africa who would kill to have your problems. Get over it." This whiny, jealous coont needs to start telling her kids that.

When I was a kid it was starving kids in India. So one time I put the food in a box and asked my parents to ship it to the starving kids.

The resulting beating was epic.

A few years back I was helping chaperone a kids' overnight at our meeting for worship. There were a handful of children in attendance who were relatively recent arrivals from Eastern Africa. One of these children helped herself to an enormous amount of food much of which she then rejected after a single taste. She would take a bite, make a gagging gesture, and declare "This nasty. I can't eat this."

So, the guy helping me chaperone kind of lost it for a moment and said "Hey, we don't waste food here. There are people starving in Africa and ... " He realized who he was addressing and trailed off.

The little girl looked at him like he had completely lost his mind. She said "Man, are you crazy?" I started hurrying to hide in the kitchen right then, but I could still hear her behind me as she continued "What would people in Africa do with this food? If you shipped it, it would be rotten before it got there!"

He caught up with me in the kitchen shortly thereafter. We stood in there giggling like a couple of the kids and he said "I can not believe the words that just came out of my mouth. What was I thinking?"

Would be CSB... except for prominently featuring church.... and black people.

We don't attend church. We attend meeting for worship. We are a mixed race meeting.

Worship? In da oshun, dat wor.

/and prolly crewed by eastern Africans too

I'm sorry, I'm old and don't get a lot of pop references. I have no idea what you're referring to.


Whoops, sorry. Many threads in fark have been about pirates off theceatern coast of Africa.

/also old
//less sand in the top half of the hourglass of life than the bottom half
///depressing, taint it
 
2012-07-04 01:50:21 AM  
For a brief moment I felt bad and considered coughing up the cash to buy a doll for the deprived one...and then I looked at the going price.

Yeeaahh...no. Fark you.

/Plastic doesn't cost that much.
//Neither does the "craftsmanship".

Barbie needs friends...and she costs like $10 on sale.
 
2012-07-04 04:39:50 AM  
Remember kids: In America, your value as a human being is based on how much money other people think you have.

/Tell me again what percentage of your huge college loan was spent on "sweet rims" and Apple's latest gadget?
 
2012-07-04 05:38:01 AM  
i88.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-04 07:06:47 AM  
Maybe Obama can force the little girl to give her cousin a doll that she worked so hard for, then everything will be even and lessons will be taught. That will teach that little girl to work so hard for something
 
2012-07-04 07:20:16 AM  

tafka: CSS time.

When my sisters & I were kids we really wanted a trampoline. So we all chipped in & saved up our allowances & any other money we had. And then when we had nearly enough for the trampoline, our mother used our entire savings to fund a shopping spree.

/Why yes she was a fat, abusive sow. Why do you ask?


farm5.static.flickr.com

TRAMBOBPALINE
TRAMOPOLINE
 
2012-07-04 07:21:59 AM  

skantea: From the 'Where Children Sleep' coffee table book.

[provisionslibrary.com image 583x674]

/no comment, just the pic.


what's the deal with kids rooms and crap on the floor??
 
2012-07-04 09:14:34 AM  

PsiChick: I think you missed my point--sure, they may have 'won', but when someone's calling you a filthy whore, we as a culture probably should be telling them not to do that.


Why? So the oversensitive and insecure don't feel bad about themselves? You can't (& shouldn't) force people to be "polite".
 
2012-07-04 10:11:32 AM  

tafka: ace in your face

I got the trampoline I saved up for. It's now 15 years old and I'm trying to sell it. if you live in VA you can buy it from me. $50.

/your mom sounds like a horrible person.

I'd give myself a black eye if I jumped on a trampoline now, but thaks. It did teach me a valuable lesson about how to protect my own stuff. ;)


Sorry you had a horrible mother.
Glad you learned your lesson.
How you doin'?
 
2012-07-04 10:43:53 AM  

Lunaville: OgreMagi: darkjezter: When I was a little kid and I biatched about things I didn't have, my parents would say things like "There are starving kids in Africa who would kill to have your problems. Get over it." This whiny, jealous coont needs to start telling her kids that.

When I was a kid it was starving kids in India. So one time I put the food in a box and asked my parents to ship it to the starving kids.

The resulting beating was epic.

A few years back I was helping chaperone a kids' overnight at our meeting for worship. There were a handful of children in attendance who were relatively recent arrivals from Eastern Africa. One of these children helped herself to an enormous amount of food much of which she then rejected after a single taste. She would take a bite, make a gagging gesture, and declare "This nasty. I can't eat this."

So, the guy helping me chaperone kind of lost it for a moment and said "Hey, we don't waste food here. There are people starving in Africa and ... " He realized who he was addressing and trailed off.

The little girl looked at him like he had completely lost his mind. She said "Man, are you crazy?" I started hurrying to hide in the kitchen right then, but I could still hear her behind me as she continued "What would people in Africa do with this food? If you shipped it, it would be rotten before it got there!"

He caught up with me in the kitchen shortly thereafter. We stood in there giggling like a couple of the kids and he said "I can not believe the words that just came out of my mouth. What was I thinking?"


My only version was hanging out with some Indian coworkers of my girlfriend. At one point they had drunk only half their beers and had let them set for a while. Finally, I said "drink up and finish that, don't you know there are thirsty drunks in Ireland?"
 
2012-07-04 11:34:50 AM  

NightSteel: hasty ambush:

I'm a bit late with this, but:

(Do not dare question their tax breaks for the rich and tax hikes for everyone else)


The main difference between these so called Bush tax cuts that Republitards tout and the giant stimulus and TARPs that Democrooks cum over is that one lets somebody keep more of their own money while the other gives more of other people's money to others. Is it any wonder that a large number of the same people from Wall Street that presided over the financial mess are now deep in Obummer's administration?
 
2012-07-04 01:13:03 PM  

tafka: I'd give myself a black eye if I jumped on a trampoline now


...Go on.
 
2012-07-04 01:41:04 PM  

LoneWolf343: tafka: I'd give myself a black eye if I jumped on a trampoline now

...Go on.


Here you go

t1.gstatic.com
 
2012-07-04 02:28:40 PM  

digitalrain: I hear ya. My youngest (he was 10 at the time) saved up every cent he earned or received as gifts so that he could buy himself a digital camera. It took him 6 months to save up the money, but the look on his face when he counted out *his* money to buy *his* camera was priceless. He got to use it the very next weekend when we went to see the final shuttle launch. Took some pretty good pics / video too.

My oldest, on the other hand, couldn't hold on to a dollar if it were sewn to his hand.



Ok, I just had to explain to the wife why I busted out laughing :)

As a rule, people appreciate and care for things more if they have to earn them. It's why I'd prefer some sort of work be attached to public assistance (for the able-bodied, of course). I've worked in the projects before, and you can really see the difference between those on section 8 and trying to do better, and those just cashing their checks for beer and cigarettes. The former genuinely despise the latter.

Of course, I want to see a return to public funding for mental care, but fark, as long as I'm doing one pipe dream, might as well do them all. :/
 
2012-07-04 03:55:29 PM  

umad: LoneWolf343: tafka: I'd give myself a black eye if I jumped on a trampoline now

...Go on.

Here you go

[t1.gstatic.com image 259x194]


Yes, I mad.
 
2012-07-04 06:48:56 PM  

WhippingBoy: PsiChick: I think you missed my point--sure, they may have 'won', but when someone's calling you a filthy whore, we as a culture probably should be telling them not to do that.

Why? So the oversensitive and insecure don't feel bad about themselves? You can't (& shouldn't) force people to be "polite".


The point of a society is that everyone gathers their resources, shares a few, and gets benefits. For example, you don't have to defend your home from marauding bandits, because we collectively pay police.

Now how well does that system work when people feel that they can curse at and humiliate complete strangers, who may in some cases be victims of horrific crimes (like rape), without the person they're speaking to having ever done a single thing to them? Well, let's try it out. You're a farking cocksucker, you fat coont, and you should be ashamed of yourself. You know what you did. You're a farking pathetic whore.

See? When I did that, I was essentially saying "First, I am going to spit in the face of the entire concept of justice--I can verbally attack a random stranger without any provocation. Second, I am going to spit in the face of the concept of society, because I am creating a conflict where there was previously none. Third, I am going to look like a complete asshole."

That's what you're supporting. And you supported that for rape victims when you were talking about slut-shaming. That's what that term means.

/There's a polite and respectful way to address these issues, but what you advocated? Not it.
 
2012-07-04 10:17:34 PM  

elev8meL8r: JRoo: [louxfamilyblog.com image 640x422]


[louxfamilyblog.com image 640x422]

Yeesh. Those are some pretty creepy dolls.

Apparently being rich doesn't buy you good taste.


Looks like the hand out mentality is in the gene pool. Give them plenty of nourishment and a ticket to America and you would see the same picture but with fat ones and their hair did.
 
2012-07-05 05:58:12 PM  

WhippingBoy: PsiChick: I think you missed my point--sure, they may have 'won', but when someone's calling you a filthy whore, we as a culture probably should be telling them not to do that.

Why? So the oversensitive and insecure don't feel bad about themselves? You can't (& shouldn't) force people to be "polite".


Don't hold it against her when the fat chick beats the crap out of you to teach you some "manners".
 
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