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(Jezebel)   "Women's Ten Biggest Complaints About Men's Ten Biggest Complaints About Women." Or, how to create an internet flame war the likes of which God has never seen   (jezebel.com) divider line 153
    More: Interesting, flame wars, gender stereotypes, eHarmony, complaints  
•       •       •

19220 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jul 2012 at 10:41 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-07-03 11:46:59 AM  
15 votes:

urbangirl: honestly trying to offer a female viewpoint.


www.glasswings.com
2012-07-03 10:41:42 AM  
10 votes:

mitchcumstein1: scottydoesntknow: Sounds like Lindy West just needs a good dicking

Have at it, she's all yours.

Yeesh.


Hey hey hey now, I'm not falling on that grenade. I just said she needs A dicking, not MY dicking.
2012-07-03 10:34:03 AM  
10 votes:
I agree. Maybe. Hang on, I'll see what the wife thinks........
2012-07-03 10:43:33 AM  
9 votes:

scottydoesntknow: mitchcumstein1: scottydoesntknow: Sounds like Lindy West just needs a good dicking

Have at it, she's all yours.

Yeesh.

Hey hey hey now, I'm not falling on that grenade. I just said she needs A dicking, not MY dicking.


Yeah, how would 15 seconds of discomfort help her, anyway?
2012-07-03 10:53:14 AM  
7 votes:

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.


Please don't put me on ignore. I think you're funny, for a girl.
2012-07-03 10:47:50 AM  
7 votes:

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.


But then where would you get your confirmation bias that all men are sexist, misogynistic pigs?
2012-07-03 11:50:55 AM  
6 votes:

R.A.Danny: gamergirl23: The Singing Bush: gamergirl23: The Singing Bush: I think it's hilarious that she doesn't follow number 9. My wife is terrible about this -

Me: Where do you want to go to dinner?
Her: I don't know, I'm not sure what I want
Me: How about here, or here, or here, or here, or here?
Her: No, none of those sound good.
Me: Well what do you want?
Her: Why can't YOU make a decision?
Me - head asplode

This is why one should have a default food/drink/activity. If you don't care but someone really wants you to pick, you just pick that to politely prevent them from going insane.

Tried that - she'll come back with "but we just did that like 6 months ago"

I don't know. Have her keep a list of her favorite restaurants in the car with the dates you last visited them?

My rule: If you make me choose where to go, you shut up about where we're going.

Otherwise I'd be happy to work with you towards picking a place, but don't tell me to choose unless you're ready to shut up and eat some damn BBQ.


Ever just throw your hands up in the air and say "well fark it, you eat where you want; I'm going to the BBQ joint"? I did that once with an ex, and followed through. Took my time and had a lovely meal by myself. God damn there was glorious drama when I got home. She was one of those semi-fat chicks who get cranky when they're hungry, and she deliberately sat there not eating the whole time to enhance the freak out. I told her it was probably a good thing she skipped dinner and then went to play video games while she screeched. Healthiest. Relationship. Ever.
2012-07-03 10:58:50 AM  
6 votes:
I think it's hilarious that she doesn't follow number 9. My wife is terrible about this -

Me: Where do you want to go to dinner?
Her: I don't know, I'm not sure what I want
Me: How about here, or here, or here, or here, or here?
Her: No, none of those sound good.
Me: Well what do you want?
Her: Why can't YOU make a decision?
Me - head asplode
2012-07-03 11:24:45 AM  
5 votes:

Biv: Because girls never just cry. Once tears start flowing the conversation turns emotional and nothing can be done. Time to shut down the conversation until you compose yourself.


Men should not try to have "conversations" with women. At least, not conversations where you expect to exchange information. That almost never happens.

The female mind is a perfectly insular bubble of solipsistic emotion. They have a completely different experience with this thing that men know as "objective reality." Women are not connected to it, and so they are often confused and frustrated when men keep referring to it as though it means something.

This is why women make lousy engineers and even worse lawyers. Women can engage in logical reasoning the way that parrots can engage in human speech. They are, however, good at jobs that involve caretaking (nurses, teachers) and socializing in ways that involve running their mouths (PR, HR, some aspects of marketing).
2012-07-03 11:14:44 AM  
5 votes:

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.


cafewitteveen.files.wordpress.com

you sound fat
2012-07-03 11:01:08 AM  
5 votes:

Tat'dGreaser: That last one is spot on. I do it all the time, I use a personal experience to explain an entire group of people. That's exactly what that guy did. His one friend just happened to date a crazy chick and all of a sudden all women were crazy.


The myth that all women are crazy is rooted in the fact that all women are crazy.
2012-07-03 10:54:30 AM  
5 votes:
That was written as if the reader cared what that woman has to say. It made the article hard to follow and I lost interest.
2012-07-03 10:49:01 AM  
5 votes:
www.wearysloth.com
2012-07-03 10:48:04 AM  
5 votes:
"You want us to change, and then lose respect for us when we do."

Well, you do get the whole "OMG firefighters are teh sexy" followed by "Please stop running into burning buildings, baby. It's dangerous and I don't want to lose you."

And then she goes and bangs a racecar driver.
2012-07-03 10:47:19 AM  
5 votes:

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.


something inflammatory
2012-07-03 01:24:03 PM  
4 votes:
And I get so sick and tired when my girlfriend brings some hot drunk blonde chick home... we all go in the bedroom, and while I'm doing the blonde from behind while she's going down on my gf, my gf always gives me this dirty look like "you never grunt that loud when you're pounding me!" biatch...
2012-07-03 12:27:41 PM  
4 votes:
Holy shiat, this article is stupid.

7. "You fixate on what we're thinking, when you should be watching what we're doing."

:-|

I think my feelings on this one can best be summed up by disapproving fiberglass lion.


Lady, I don't care how you feel about this. When you ask me what I'm thinking, I'm thinking about paying my bills, six different problems at work, whether I should be looking for another job, when I should ask for a raise, where I'm taking you on vacation, where I'm taking you to dinner tonight, your boobs, the boobs of the girl in the next car, whether or not my cell phone is charged, how much longer I can get by with my current office chair before I need to replace it, whether or not I've actually seen every episode of my favorite television show, if I'm ever going to get to see my favorite band in concert again, your boobs, my ex-girlfriend's boobs, what it would be like if I had been a samurai, whether or not I'm on track to retirement, whether or not you're going to say yes if I propose, whether or not we should get a cat, and boobs as a general concept.

So you know what? Stop asking me what I'm thinking about. I am not "grumpy", and I'm just going to say "nothing" again.

1. "You see us as projects you can 'fix.'"

Yeah, great point! You're so right-no one in a serious relationship should ever have to compromise or change anything about themselves out of respect for their partner.


At a certain age, if you haven't figured out that other people are other people and that they aren't going to make fundamental changes to themselves for you, you're hopelessly lost.
2012-07-03 12:24:58 PM  
4 votes:

Nogale: Protip: The person who uses the kitchen most gets final say. My friend's ex, an architect, designed their kitchen renovation without consulting her. All the shelves were too narrow to hold her pots ;-)


Then her pots are wrong.
Biv
2012-07-03 11:20:37 AM  
4 votes:

glass_ibis: FYI
When men get emotional their logic centers turn off - this is not so with women.


Okay, everyone point and laugh at Glassy.
2012-07-03 10:45:46 AM  
4 votes:

susansto-helit: I have to admit that #4 really pisses me off. I cannot control when I start crying, so don't accuse me of using it as a weapon when I do.


If you'd grown up as a man you'd have to learn to control when you start crying.
2012-07-03 10:35:35 AM  
4 votes:
Sounds like Lindy West just needs a good dicking
2012-07-03 12:46:22 PM  
3 votes:

Slayinit: [www.worldcompass.org image 300x321]

Someone, somewhere, would consider pleasuring this creature. Which one of you farkers is man enough?


Abso-goddamn-lutely. I'd perform oral ministrations on her secret magic flower until she howled like a dog with a fleet of firetrucks driving by. All of her man-hate would dissolve in a chain of foaming, gushing orgasms until she begged me to take her like a marauding pirate. Only then would she present herself en la mode des chiens whereupon I would mount her and plunge my beefy thumb into her quivering anus, stroking her broad backside with my free hand, and plumbing her womanly depths with my manhood.

Thus, her perspectives would be forever changed for the better.
2012-07-03 12:25:25 PM  
3 votes:
Advice for women, don't talk to men about the following subjects:

1. your friends (unless they are hot) or their children
2. your relatives (unless they are rich and could potentially give us lewt when the die) or their children
3. your job/coworkers (unless someone is harassing you and needs a cockpunch)
4. your problems (unless you want us to come up with a solution, if you "just want to talk about it" you have a phone with your mother or a girlfriend on speed dial)

And don't talk about anything under the following circumstances

1. when we are watching a screen (tv, sports, computer, video games)
2. when we are fixing things
3. when we are reading
4. when our eyes are closed

The only acceptable action while we are engaging in these activities is to quietly leave a cold beer, with opener if it is a bottle, somewhere in our peripheral vision. But not somewhere we can knock it over by turning around.

If you care about the happiness of your man you will follow these rules, if you don't then you will get offended by this list.
2012-07-03 12:03:04 PM  
3 votes:

ignatius_crumbcake: R.A.Danny: Strategeryz0r: Yet another absurd female double standard. Seriously if it weren't for vagina's we'd all be gay.

You forgot tits.

This is why being gay simply cannot be a choice. If being gay were a choice, there would be no straight men.


This. I want to fark a low-drama cyclists who loves videogames. I can think of a half-dozen men in my office who'd fit that description. I can't think of any women in my life who do.

Curse my heterosexuality.
2012-07-03 11:31:33 AM  
3 votes:

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.


fine....
Fe2O3 + 2 Al → 2 Fe + Al2O3
2012-07-03 11:29:43 AM  
3 votes:

Andrew Wiggin: miss diminutive: Andrew Wiggin: miss diminutive: Andrew Wiggin: miss diminutive: [www.dreamwidth.org image 100x100][replays.pl image 224x207][www.dreamwidth.org image 100x100][replays.pl image 224x207][www.dreamwidth.org image 100x100]

Ohhhhhh boy.

why didn't you say 'ohhhhhh girl'? typical freaking woman.

Why didn't you look me in the eyes when you said that? Typical freaking man.

[24.media.tumblr.com image 250x188]

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

answering a question with a question? typical freaking woman

[i45.tinypic.com image 201x151]

Resorting to threats of violence in order to use your size and strength as an advantage? Typical freaking man

[27.media.tumblr.com image 159x86]

throwing in a pic of a hot chick to distract me and make me speechless? typical freaking woman.

[i49.tinypic.com image 157x88]


Throwing in a pic of a deliciously handsome man who was on a show that was canceled before it's time only to remind that my looks will fade more quickly than yours and that I'll be left for a much younger woman and forced to eat cat food while chasing delinquent kids off the porch of my trailer while getting to pick between the alcoholic plumber or the schizophrenic trophy repair guy for a quick hump and snore while spending my afternoons in a local bowling alley searching for discarded Keno tickets in the hopes of scrounging up enough cash to pay for my osteoporosis medication because I was born with less bone mass? Typical freaking man.

media.tumblr.com
2012-07-03 11:12:51 AM  
3 votes:

factoryconnection: I'd go even farther: her non-responses to several of those was effectively her agreeing with the original author. Sliding a one-liner jab in is not a rebuttal, but it is clear that she had no rebuttal to several of those.


"You're right about us, but fark you anyway because it's your fault we're like this."

- Every Jezebel column ever
2012-07-03 11:03:29 AM  
3 votes:

Savage Bacon: One of the first thing I learned about relationships and the difference between men and women had to do with sympathizing vs. problem-solving. As a man, if I start talking to my male friends about an issue I'm having, it's pretty much advice solicitation on my part. If my gf comes to me with an issue, it's usually just to vent, so I let her vent. If she actually needs any advice, I wait for her to ask for it, because apparently giving advice really gets in the way of a good venting session.


Pretty much this.

In the season premiere of "Louie" last week there was an awesome scene near the opening...

Basically he's waiting for his quasi-gf in a diner. She comes in and just starts non-stop biatching about her job. She hates this about her job, she hates that, this person is a jerk, this person is trying to cut her down, this person is trying to steal the credit, etc. etc. etc. just non stop.

Louie just casually responds "You should quit your job."

To which she just loses it "What? I should quit my job? What kind of a statement is that?! Fark you, you should quit your job!"

To which he just mumbles "I like my job."
2012-07-03 11:02:28 AM  
3 votes:

Hack Patooey: Missing is the classic "When did this start happening" redirection. i.e.

Man: XyZ is bothering me, can we talk about it?
Woman: When did this start being a problem?
Man: Not sure, a while, ago, but it needs to be addressed.
Woman: Why didn't you tell me before, before it became a problem?

...and then the conversation is no longer about the issue that *I* brought up, which never gets resolved.


Didn't you know? BEFORE it was an issue, you were supposed to know that it was going to become an issue and brought it up then. It's always best to bring up something that's not a problem so that it can become a problem when you bring it up, and it's all your fault anyway.

You cad.
Biv
2012-07-03 10:58:54 AM  
3 votes:

susansto-helit: I have to admit that #4 really pisses me off. I cannot control when I start crying, so don't accuse me of using it as a weapon when I do.


Fine, then go compose yourself and we can continue this conversation when you can do so like an adult.
2012-07-03 10:54:07 AM  
3 votes:

jylcat: susansto-helit: I have to admit that #4 really pisses me off. I cannot control when I start crying, so don't accuse me of using it as a weapon when I do.

Unfortunately for me, I cry when I get pissed off!


i only cry when angels deserve to die
2012-07-03 10:54:02 AM  
3 votes:

Andrew Wiggin: miss diminutive: [www.dreamwidth.org image 100x100][replays.pl image 224x207][www.dreamwidth.org image 100x100][replays.pl image 224x207][www.dreamwidth.org image 100x100]

Ohhhhhh boy.

why didn't you say 'ohhhhhh girl'? typical freaking woman.


Why didn't you look me in the eyes when you said that? Typical freaking man.

24.media.tumblr.com

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
2012-07-03 10:50:29 AM  
3 votes:
The Author:

www.thestranger.com
2012-07-03 10:49:22 AM  
3 votes:
Quit trying to get into a relationship with me when all I want to do is have sexy time!!
2012-07-03 10:48:49 AM  
3 votes:
One thats always bugged me is that most women who like to biatch and moan about how guys are so picky about looks (weight mainly) but most women strait up will not go out with a Red headed man. If you wanna biatch about us not farking fatties you need to go fark a ginger.
2012-07-03 10:40:28 AM  
3 votes:

susansto-helit: I have to admit that #4 really pisses me off. I cannot control when I start crying, so don't accuse me of using it as a weapon when I do.


You're just saying that to get sympathy.
2012-07-03 10:33:14 AM  
3 votes:
biatch start crying, she gets slapped. hard.
2012-07-03 06:24:09 PM  
2 votes:
It's impt to share a GSOH

i49.tinypic.com.
2012-07-03 04:06:04 PM  
2 votes:
Showed this article to my girlfriend... her response? "biatches be crazy"

She's gotten to the point where she doesn't like the drama of other women. We were driving the other day and someone weaved into our lane causing her to brake and do everything to miss the other car. Her first thought at seeing the other driver? "farking women drivers."

She loves video games, she loves steak. She loves when we have alone time (when her boys are asleep).

I'm in a relationship with a dude with nice tits and a vagina.

I think I won.
2012-07-03 03:56:08 PM  
2 votes:
I think it would be best for everyone if Lindy West and Grant Langston went off and farked each other and left the rest of us alone!
2012-07-03 01:27:05 PM  
2 votes:

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.


tissue swelling in response to harmful stimuli
2012-07-03 01:10:57 PM  
2 votes:

wambu: The women who read the book tell me "It doesn't matter, men are just wrong."


So.....

If a man states his opinion in a forest and a woman isn't around to hear it, is he still wrong?
2012-07-03 01:07:03 PM  
2 votes:

Slayinit: [www.worldcompass.org image 300x321]

Someone, somewhere, would consider pleasuring this creature. Which one of you farkers is man enough?


The sad thing is is that her looks are the most attractive part about her.
2012-07-03 12:32:02 PM  
2 votes:

Eternal Virgin: Women are stupid.


Your login/comment combo play well together.
2012-07-03 12:13:36 PM  
2 votes:
www.filehurricane.com

/It's funny 'cause it's true
2012-07-03 12:11:46 PM  
2 votes:

hubiestubert: padraig: Okay, just for the fun of it, but : has any man here ever tried to turn the tables on their s.o. .? By that, I mean rant endlessly about your own problem of the day, not letting her a word in edgewise, and getting offended if she offers a suggestion ?

Towards the end of my marriage, I did change tactics on the constant barrage of arguments. I simply gave in. Told her she was right. Conceded that I'd been selfish or bullheaded or simply hadn't thought enough ahead.

This wasn't what she wanted to hear in the least. If anything, that only fired her up more.

Because she wasn't looking to be right. She was looking for an excuse to end the marriage. If anything, my conceding her points, it only made her angrier, because she had to take further steps to justify ending things. Which, we finally got to, and THEN we had more rational discussions on how to end things properly.

She needed to be a victim. She had to be victim, because otherwise, she'd have to admit that she was looking to end the marriage, and that would mean that somewhere up the line, she'd failed. That was an ugly realization, and that didn't come for years after we split--and in the midst of all that, I found myself at the end of all sorts of accusations.

We had always argued. We prided ourselves on calling each other on our bullsh*t. She got to a point, where she didn't want to be called on it. She got to a point where she just wanted to have her way, all the time, even if it was selfish, even if it was foolish, even if it was wasteful, and even if it cost us friends.

The marriage died for more reasons than that. In the end, she HAD to be right for her world to work. Even if she was in the wrong, she HAD to be right. She needed to be a victim, and justified, and if that meant making things up to supply those reasons, then that was fine. It took years for folks to realize that I wasn't abusive. It took years for folks who knew us to realize that half of what she told them were the reasons for ...


Holy crap. we were married to the same woman.
2012-07-03 12:11:43 PM  
2 votes:

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.


i1172.photobucket.com

ive probably been ignored by you several times over by now, but just incase..... i would like you to know that it is a wasted day that goes by in which i do not offend a feminist to the point of furious unreasoning rage. Its a hobby to me.

my personal favorite was when i posted something that immediately got 5 feminist replies that were pure incoherent emotion. They were so angry that i had obliterated their view of the world that they took the time to get my post deleted and me banned for 48 hours. The amount of butt hurt i achieved with that one is one of my greatest accomplishments on fark.
2012-07-03 12:07:06 PM  
2 votes:

R.A.Danny: Jixa: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 640x853]
I'm surprised this wasn't on the list.

I'm out numbered 3-1 at home, so this is a re-occurring issue.

/married peoples' problems

I always put the seat down. Women are incapable of watching where they put their asses and must be protected.


That used to be my position on the subject, but then I went to take a dump, drunk, in the dark one night, and almost fell in. Let me tell you, it's a scarey sensation when your ass keeps going when you expected it to stop.

Now I understand why my wife and daughter complain about it so much.

//Besides, if women were careful about where they put their asses, you would never stand a chance of scoring.
2012-07-03 12:05:54 PM  
2 votes:
Get the author some Midol... stat.
2012-07-03 12:04:04 PM  
2 votes:

urbangirl: Wow. Because everyone who isn't exactly like you is wrong.
How's that working for ya?


This is the absolute PERFECT response. You gave the female viewpoint, I countered with the male viewpoint, and you decided that I was saying you were wrong.

My assumption is that you think we should cater to your viewpoint, and that you don't feel the need to understand ours at all.
2012-07-03 11:59:55 AM  
2 votes:

wingedkat: The Singing Bush: I think it's hilarious that she doesn't follow number 9. My wife is terrible about this -

Me: Where do you want to go to dinner?
Her: I don't know, I'm not sure what I want
Me: How about here, or here, or here, or here, or here?
Her: No, none of those sound good.
Me: Well what do you want?
Her: Why can't YOU make a decision?
Me - head asplode

My boyfriend does this same exact thing. Drives me nuts.

Which is the point of TFA, once you get past all the venting. Most of these are complaints about human behaviors, not male/female.


My girlfriend likes to ask, provide options, then when I pick one, she throws extra options on the table because she thinks I don't want the selection I made.

Me: Where are we fooding tonight?
Her: I don't care, what sounds good to you?
Me: Not feeling terribly picky, just as long as it's good.
Her: Ok, well what about italian or BBQ?
Me: Lets do BBQ.
Her: Or we could do chinese, mexican, mediterranean.
Me: I just said BBQ...
Her: I just want you to want whatever we eat!
Me: Did I not just pick BBQ?
Her: But you didn't sound like you really want it.
Me: *sigh*
2012-07-03 11:57:04 AM  
2 votes:

Jixa: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 640x853]
I'm surprised this wasn't on the list.

I'm out numbered 3-1 at home, so this is a re-occurring issue.

/married peoples' problems


I always put the seat down. Women are incapable of watching where they put their asses and must be protected.
2012-07-03 11:54:05 AM  
2 votes:

serial_crusher: Ever just throw your hands up in the air and say "well fark it, you eat where you want; I'm going to the BBQ joint"? I did that once with an ex, and followed through. Took my time and had a lovely meal by myself. God damn there was glorious drama when I got home. She was one of those semi-fat chicks who get cranky when they're hungry, and she deliberately sat there not eating the whole time to enhance the freak out. I told her it was probably a good thing she skipped dinner and then went to play video games while she screeched. Healthiest. Relationship. Ever.


upload.wikimedia.org

++1
2012-07-03 11:45:57 AM  
2 votes:
My ex is bi-polar. Towards the end of our relationship he kept insisting that I get on psychotropic medication:

Ex: I got on meds, you need to, too!
Me: Why do I need to get on meds, ex? I'm not depressed, I don't fly off the handle screaming or throwing temper tantrums, why?
Ex walks away and drops it...

The next week:
Ex: You farking psycho! You need to get on some anti-depressants.
Me: Dude, I'm not depressed. I have a great life; what are you going on? What have I done to show you that I'm depressed?
Ex: Goddammit Cape!!! For one week out of every month you cry at the drop of a hat!

...
2012-07-03 11:30:56 AM  
2 votes:

miss diminutive: Andrew Wiggin: miss diminutive: Andrew Wiggin: miss diminutive: Andrew Wiggin: miss diminutive: [www.dreamwidth.org image 100x100][replays.pl image 224x207][www.dreamwidth.org image 100x100][replays.pl image 224x207][www.dreamwidth.org image 100x100]

Ohhhhhh boy.

why didn't you say 'ohhhhhh girl'? typical freaking woman.

Why didn't you look me in the eyes when you said that? Typical freaking man.

[24.media.tumblr.com image 250x188]

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

answering a question with a question? typical freaking woman

[i45.tinypic.com image 201x151]

Resorting to threats of violence in order to use your size and strength as an advantage? Typical freaking man

[27.media.tumblr.com image 159x86]

throwing in a pic of a hot chick to distract me and make me speechless? typical freaking woman.

[i49.tinypic.com image 157x88]

Throwing in a pic of a deliciously handsome man who was on a show that was canceled before it's time only to remind that my looks will fade more quickly than yours and that I'll be left for a much younger woman and forced to eat cat food while chasing delinquent kids off the porch of my trailer while getting to pick between the alcoholic plumber or the schizophrenic trophy repair guy for a quick hump and snore while spending my afternoons in a local bowling alley searching for discarded Keno tickets in the hopes of scrounging up enough cash to pay for my osteoporosis medication because I was born with less bone mass? Typical freaking man.

[media.tumblr.com image 338x260]


too-much-time.com
2012-07-03 11:25:30 AM  
2 votes:

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.


Well, okay...let me think of a good one, here...

Gold mine is two words, you stupid broad.
2012-07-03 11:25:16 AM  
2 votes:

Hack Patooey: Missing is the classic "When did this start happening" redirection. i.e.

Man: XyZ is bothering me, can we talk about it?
Woman: When did this start being a problem?
Man: Not sure, a while, ago, but it needs to be addressed.
Woman: Why didn't you tell me before, before it became a problem?

...and then the conversation is no longer about the issue that *I* brought up, which never gets resolved.


Posts like these make me wonder why any male would want a woman in the first place. Seriously, why the fark would you bring up something that is not a problem?

Woman: I need to fix the car
Man: What is broken
Woman: Nothing is broken
Man: ???????
2012-07-03 11:24:28 AM  
2 votes:

Benevolent Misanthrope: You mean they don't? Huh. I thought all men wrote their name in the snow.


A man who can write his name in the snow with his excrements will have a statue raised to his glory in front of all sports bars.
2012-07-03 11:17:29 AM  
2 votes:
FYI
When men get emotional their logic centers turn off - this is not so with women.

Women's brains allow them to be crying their eyes out and still be as logical as they normally are.
Don't mistake crying for irrationality (unless they are normally irrational - but if that's the case you have bigger problems).
2012-07-03 11:05:25 AM  
2 votes:

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.


Nobody cares about your ignore list. Go be biatchy somewhere else.
2012-07-03 11:04:03 AM  
2 votes:
STOOPID MAN WORLD!!!!1
2012-07-03 11:00:44 AM  
2 votes:
"I can't be bothered to come up with well reasoned arguments. So I'm just going to splash some general emotional rage across the page."

Way to represent your gender, lady.
2012-07-03 11:00:19 AM  
2 votes:

Superjew: The Author:

[www.thestranger.com image 249x298]


That jacket she is wearing... it reminds me of my grandmother's couch.
2012-07-03 10:58:19 AM  
2 votes:

susansto-helit: jylcat: susansto-helit: I have to admit that #4 really pisses me off. I cannot control when I start crying, so don't accuse me of using it as a weapon when I do.

Unfortunately for me, I cry when I get pissed off!

Me too. I get angry and I can feel the tears coming. It's completely beyond my control. It kinda sucks.


Yes, especially when you're trying to be taken for a grown up. Very inconvenient.
2012-07-03 10:58:17 AM  
2 votes:

padraig: I once read a book that was supposed to explain women to men. In the middle of treating men live barely functionnal children that avoid responsibility like the plague, don't wash and only think about video games (those points were made several times, incessantly, during the entire book), the book answered each criticisms of women by men by "yeah, so what ? Deal with it, you farking child".

I had never seen such contempt for a whole gender before in my life.
This article comes pretty close.


There's your problem, right there.
2012-07-03 10:55:38 AM  
2 votes:

Andrew Wiggin: jylcat: susansto-helit: I have to admit that #4 really pisses me off. I cannot control when I start crying, so don't accuse me of using it as a weapon when I do.

Unfortunately for me, I cry when I get pissed off!

i only cry when angels deserve to die


Father?
2012-07-03 10:49:54 AM  
2 votes:
hire a maid and a hooker. throwing money at them make them and all those problems go away.
2012-07-03 10:49:23 AM  
2 votes:

serial_crusher: "You see us as projects you can 'fix.'"

I generally see women as projects that I can't fix. Can't suggest a goddamned solution to her petty drama problems without getting an earful about how insensitive I'm being. Just gotta nod and agree. "Oh, that's nice dear. Yes, everyone in your office is out to get you. I completely agree."

Anyhow, the original list is dumb and the responses are even dumber.


I always viewed finding a wife as finding a woman that required minimal biting of my tongue. I've been married for over two decades and she isn't a project I can fix. At best I know a few methods to distract her before she gets up to full speed on some of her rants. She can hold a grudge like no other. I just don't get it, why even waste brain cells thinking about half that petty bullshiat...
2012-07-03 10:46:07 AM  
2 votes:
I once read a book that was supposed to explain women to men. In the middle of treating men live barely functionnal children that avoid responsibility like the plague, don't wash and only think about video games (those points were made several times, incessantly, during the entire book), the book answered each criticisms of women by men by "yeah, so what ? Deal with it, you farking child".

I had never seen such contempt for a whole gender before in my life.
This article comes pretty close.
2012-07-03 10:45:38 AM  
2 votes:
Done in one and two.
2012-07-03 10:36:32 AM  
2 votes:

scottydoesntknow: Sounds like Lindy West just needs a good dicking


Have at it, she's all yours.

Yeesh.
2012-07-03 10:34:05 AM  
2 votes:
"You see us as projects you can 'fix.'"

I generally see women as projects that I can't fix. Can't suggest a goddamned solution to her petty drama problems without getting an earful about how insensitive I'm being. Just gotta nod and agree. "Oh, that's nice dear. Yes, everyone in your office is out to get you. I completely agree."

Anyhow, the original list is dumb and the responses are even dumber.
2012-07-03 10:29:02 AM  
2 votes:
I have to admit that #4 really pisses me off. I cannot control when I start crying, so don't accuse me of using it as a weapon when I do.
2012-07-03 09:08:22 PM  
1 votes:

R.A.Danny: ignatius_crumbcake: R.A.Danny: Strategeryz0r: Yet another absurd female double standard. Seriously if it weren't for vagina's we'd all be gay.

You forgot tits.

This is why being gay simply cannot be a choice. If being gay were a choice, there would be no straight men.

I actually know a few gay guys that love tits. They're almost universally adored.


My gay nephew uses his gayness to feel up nice tits. "It's ok, I'm gay". The bastard.
2012-07-03 09:03:52 PM  
1 votes:

wambu: jbezorg: wambu: The women who read the book tell me "It doesn't matter, men are just wrong."

So.....

If a man states his opinion in a forest and a woman isn't around to hear it, is he still wrong?

They know we are. Us, ... not so much.


Wait. The solution is so simple. All I have to do is swap two words and change punctuation.

"If a man states his opinion in a forest and a woman isn't around to hear it, he is still wrong."


upload.wikimedia.org
2012-07-03 05:57:35 PM  
1 votes:

susansto-helit: RumsfeldsReplacement: susansto-helit: I have to admit that #4 really pisses me off. I cannot control when I start crying, so don't accuse me of using it as a weapon when I do.

Fair enough, but don't get upset when men immediately stop the conversation at that point. Once the tears start, there is absolutely NO way that continuing could possibly work out well for the man.

And by that, all you're telling her is that she cannot have a conversation with you in which any kind of topic that might bring up any kind of emotion might be involved. I'm still perfectly rational while I'm crying. It's usually just an outward indicator that I'm angry. Do you end all conversations with everyone once one of you becomes angry?


homework.never-ends.net
2012-07-03 05:39:51 PM  
1 votes:
See jezebel next to the link.
Stay the fark away and head to the fark comments directly.
2012-07-03 04:37:14 PM  
1 votes:

Max Awesome: jylcat: Nogale: I think you probably choose not to. And even if you can't control the crying when it starts (trembling lips, teary eyes), you don't have to let it go. A lot of a crying jag is the willingness to give into it. Not a great tactic in an argument or discussion.

No. Seriously, sometimes you cannot control it. As an adult woman in the business world, this is something that's a real problem for me. I think a previous poster was right when they said that women aren't given an incentive to NOT cry as children so it can overtake you in the worst situations.

When people cry at work I get all embarrassed for them.

That's supposed to be an at-home activity. Like picking your nose, or masturbating.


disagree
2012-07-03 03:27:27 PM  
1 votes:
The problem started way back when we men let women have equal rights. Now, women mistakenly believe that their opinions are logical and valid, when in reality all that the world hears is squaking and a constant high-pitch tone. We should take back womens' rights. The world would be less retarded. Men know what is best for women anyway.
2012-07-03 02:56:16 PM  
1 votes:

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Almost every romantic movie is about getting the man, not what to do after you've got him.


"... and they lived happily ever after."

See? That's the easy part.
2012-07-03 02:35:32 PM  
1 votes:

YixilTesiphon: No shiat, sherlock.

Something about your tone in this thread just really rubs me the wrong way.


You'll just have to find a way to cope.
2012-07-03 02:07:31 PM  
1 votes:

spidermilk: As a female, I fully acknowledge that I sometimes just have an urge to talk and it actually doesn't matter if anyone is really listening.


That's so interesting. Tell us more about that.

*puts on headphones*
2012-07-03 02:06:39 PM  
1 votes:
fortheloveofgod: !

And the second half of this is - when I get home from work she wants me to recap my entire day to her. The last thing that I want to do after I get home from work is to re-live that god awful day! As soon as I walk in the door I want to forget about work entirely.



I just print out all source code I generate.
Her: How did your day go?
Me: <dump>
2012-07-03 01:57:49 PM  
1 votes:

Agent Smiths Laugh: towatchoverme: Oh. It's THIS THREAD ... about THIS THREAD ... again.

You don't like it, leave.


home.roadrunner.com
2012-07-03 01:51:26 PM  
1 votes:

Slayinit: [www.worldcompass.org image 300x321]

Someone, somewhere, would consider pleasuring this creature. Which one of you farkers is man enough?


I can drink that pretty. No guarantees my dick would still work.
2012-07-03 01:42:39 PM  
1 votes:

WhippingBoy: Let her "win" everything else.


This...I don't understand why you people argue with your wives about some of this crap. Takes two to tango.
2012-07-03 01:35:50 PM  
1 votes:

susansto-helit: I have to admit that #4 really pisses me off. I cannot control when I start crying, so don't accuse me of using it as a weapon when I do.


because you're not like every other woman who will leap grand obstacles to make her man show emotion then rip your man apart in front of MIL and friends because he shared. few men ever displayed emotion in front of a woman without fully regretting having done so. because deep down inside you are all cold vicious biatches that are never happy. seeing where america stands today we can understand why you had such limited privileges in the past. too bad that changed.
2012-07-03 01:30:11 PM  
1 votes:

AngryJailhouseFistfark: Slayinit: [www.worldcompass.org image 300x321]

Someone, somewhere, would consider pleasuring this creature. Which one of you farkers is man enough?

Abso-goddamn-lutely. I'd perform oral ministrations on her secret magic flower until she howled like a dog with a fleet of firetrucks driving by. All of her man-hate would dissolve in a chain of foaming, gushing orgasms until she begged me to take her like a marauding pirate. Only then would she present herself en la mode des chiens whereupon I would mount her and plunge my beefy thumb into her quivering anus, stroking her broad backside with my free hand, and plumbing her womanly depths with my manhood.

Thus, her perspectives would be forever changed for the better.


I'm not saying that was worthy of spentmiles, but it's in the discussion.
2012-07-03 01:16:35 PM  
1 votes:

jbezorg: wambu: The women who read the book tell me "It doesn't matter, men are just wrong."

So.....

If a man states his opinion in a forest and a woman isn't around to hear it, is he still wrong?


I loved that joke, until my wife kept saying "Well of course" in that - tone - of hers.
2012-07-03 01:13:03 PM  
1 votes:
As a younger Farker (I'm 20 next month) I would like to say that some of y'all are scary as hayell.

/Maybe I'll just pass on this relationship stuff.
//So I can retain at least a small portion of my sanity.
2012-07-03 01:09:05 PM  
1 votes:

Silenced is foo: More to the point, Mama Mia is just plain farking *awful*. The story is incoherent, the acting is bad, and even if you love the music of Abba, nobody wants to hear Pierce Brosnan utterly fail to perform it. Beyond "chick flick" is just a shiat movie.


Mamma Mia (2008) - A young woman's journey as she discovers that her mother used to enjoy unprotected casual sex with multiple partners.
2012-07-03 01:01:39 PM  
1 votes:

Strategeryz0r: Ok the Dinner thing is driving me crazy.

Ladies and gentlemen of Fark I submit this question to you:

In the great martial debate of what to do for dinner. How is one expected to handle a woman who's dining desires literally change on a second by second basis, often going from one extreme to another so rapidly that no suggestion you can possibly pose will ever be what she wants?


Stop getting her pregnant.
2012-07-03 12:57:47 PM  
1 votes:

the_chief: Men drive like this. Women drive like this.


Nah, men drive. Women get behind the wheel and the world hopes for the best.

/ducks
2012-07-03 12:52:05 PM  
1 votes:
Well...I'll be in my bunker. Let me know when the gender wars are over.


My 2 bits: I married my best friend. When she annoys me, I tell her. I just tell her to shut her trap and she gets it. When I annoy her, she does the same. If you can't talk this kind of crap mentioned in this article out with someone, don't marry em.

I mean it. If she's not your best friend (that you also happen to fark a lot) , I can't see how it can possibly work.
2012-07-03 12:50:27 PM  
1 votes:

wingedkat: Women are just as bad at this as men though. I don't know why people say women are better communicators, they just communicate differently and equally badly.


Only women generally think that. Most guys I know think we both suck at it in different ways. Men don't want to open up, and 99% of women think it's our job to read their goddamn minds.
2012-07-03 12:50:14 PM  
1 votes:

freewill: RembrandtQEinstein: Advice for women, don't talk to men about the following subjects:

1. your friends (unless they are hot) or their children
2. your relatives (unless they are rich and could potentially give us lewt when the die) or their children

For three years, I've been trying to explain to her why detailed personal anecdotes about people I don't know are difficult to listen to for any length of time.

This is especially true when you've already told me this story. If you're in the story or I have met or am about to meet this person, honey, it's OK, but that's never the case. I just don't care what your cousin in Australia does for a living.


Does she refer to them by their first names as well? My wife does this all the time.

Her: "Oh I just can't wait to see Sean this weekend!"
Me: "Who is Sean?"
Her: "Sean is Trish's baby boy?"
Me: "Who is Trish?"
Her: "I worked with her for three weeks, it two years before I met you."
2012-07-03 12:49:01 PM  
1 votes:

trivial use of my dark powers: For all the men like to lurk in the man cave and women need constant company stereotypes, I've found that it's difficult to find a man who will entertain his own goddammed self once in a while. Maybe it's me.


My gf is welcome to watch TV while I play Skyrim.
2012-07-03 12:43:05 PM  
1 votes:

Death_Poot: cowsspinach: Meh. I only ask of one thing. No vulgar jokes when I'm around or in front of my friends. If he can't do that then he's out. So far...So great.

My wife's like this about farting to some degree. She can (I think it's funny when she goes ooooops in a girlish voice), but I don't.

Seeing as I can peel the paint off the wall at 20 paces, it's probably a good thing.


Just had this argument with my wife and daughter. Somehow their girly little poots are OK, but my beer and chili fueled siroccos are not. Double standard, indeed.
2012-07-03 12:33:11 PM  
1 votes:

God Is My Co-Pirate: R.A.Danny: gamergirl23: The Singing Bush: gamergirl23: The Singing Bush: I think it's hilarious that she doesn't follow number 9. My wife is terrible about this -

Me: Where do you want to go to dinner?
Her: I don't know, I'm not sure what I want
Me: How about here, or here, or here, or here, or here?
Her: No, none of those sound good.
Me: Well what do you want?
Her: Why can't YOU make a decision?
Me - head asplode

This is why one should have a default food/drink/activity. If you don't care but someone really wants you to pick, you just pick that to politely prevent them from going insane.

Tried that - she'll come back with "but we just did that like 6 months ago"

I don't know. Have her keep a list of her favorite restaurants in the car with the dates you last visited them?

My rule: If you make me choose where to go, you shut up about where we're going.

Otherwise I'd be happy to work with you towards picking a place, but don't tell me to choose unless you're ready to shut up and eat some damn BBQ.

Okay, you want to knnow what's going on in our heads during this scenario?

1) We want a place with the right atmosphere to suit our mood (and our clothes and transport)
2) We want a menu that's right for our food/guilt issues (if I'm feeling fat, I don't want BBQ, but I also want you to be happy so I make you pick)
3) We want you to pick because it means you've put thought into it - planning something is more romantic than just ending up wherever's closest
4) If we have kids or not a lot of money, so we're not going out too often, it increases the pressure to have everything go perfectly

I'm not saying it's not crazy, but there you go. Just say "I've heard there's a great new place just opened. I've booked us a table for Friday."


And thus the crazy demonstrates itself. It's no wonder you ladies are walking balls of angst if this is the kind of baggage you tack on to something as simple as where to eat.

Men only have four criteria for where to eat:

1) How hungry am I?
2) Can I afford it?
3) How close is it?
4) Does it sound tasty right now?

If a woman is involved the only new factor is:

5) Would she like to eat that?

Four of those questions we can answer for ourselves. The fifth one we answer by simply ASKING YOU!

Then you fark up a simple procedure by complicating it with all your emotional bullshiat.
2012-07-03 12:29:53 PM  
1 votes:
I'm sorry what were you saying Lindy? Could we wait until the commercials to talk about this?
2012-07-03 12:27:17 PM  
1 votes:

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.


A ditzy broad like you wouldn't get it anyway. So why don't we skip the inflammatory remark and go straight to ignore?
2012-07-03 12:20:35 PM  
1 votes:

wingedkat: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.

I can't imagine what reading fark is like for you. It must be like a completely different site.


Indeed. My version of Fark is a comforting, serene site that I can visit to find useful information on any problems I might have. The forums are blessedly free of any kind of bigotry, and the threads are full of well-reasoned arguments that are supported by objective evidence. There are also lolcat pictures.
2012-07-03 12:20:28 PM  
1 votes:

crabsno termites: Revised "Complete List of Phrases Needed to Deal With Women":

1. "Yes, Dear"
2. "Oh, Pleeeaase!"
3. (new): "It's all my fault"

/Worked for me.

//YMMV, depending on your ability to project sincerity while keeping a straight face.


What if we can't project sincerity when we know we're bold faced lying?

The #1 cause of massive arguments in my house hold is!!

*drum roll*

Me pointing out how she's being batshiat nuts rather than just letting her live in this delusion world where she is a beacon of perfection.
2012-07-03 12:19:17 PM  
1 votes:
Revised "Complete List of Phrases Needed to Deal With Women":

1. "Yes, Dear"
2. "Oh, Pleeeaase!"
3. (new): "It's all my fault"

/Worked for me.

//YMMV, depending on your ability to project sincerity while keeping a straight face.
2012-07-03 12:10:42 PM  
1 votes:

MrBallou: it's a scarey sensation when your ass keeps going when you expected it to stop.


I can't stop laughing at that.
2012-07-03 12:01:01 PM  
1 votes:

R.A.Danny: Strategeryz0r: Yet another absurd female double standard. Seriously if it weren't for vagina's we'd all be gay.

You forgot tits.


This is why being gay simply cannot be a choice. If being gay were a choice, there would be no straight men.
2012-07-03 11:57:08 AM  
1 votes:

Jixa: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 640x853]
I'm surprised this wasn't on the list.

I'm out numbered 3-1 at home, so this is a re-occurring issue.

/married peoples' problems


it's 2 dudes, 1 girl in my house, and it's my rule that the lid/seat is always always down when not in use.

mainly because my son has his hands on his junk every moment of the day...except for when he pees.
2012-07-03 11:57:07 AM  
1 votes:

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.


That's so cute :) You are here specifically for those comments. There is no way you are going to put the greater assholes among us on ignore, just like you aren't going to turn off Rush Limbaugh. You love the anger, you need the anger.

It's cool, different strokes and all.
2012-07-03 11:53:51 AM  
1 votes:

Thorak: 1) We aren't psychic. If you tell us to pick, you have given us zero information from which to divine your mood.


www.finifter.com
oh boy
2012-07-03 11:51:58 AM  
1 votes:

fortheloveofgod: The Singing Bush: I think it's hilarious that she doesn't follow number 9. My wife is terrible about this -

Me: Where do you want to go to dinner?
Her: I don't know, I'm not sure what I want
Me: How about here, or here, or here, or here, or here?
Her: No, none of those sound good.
Me: Well what do you want?
Her: Why can't YOU make a decision?
Me - head asplode


After 10 minutes
Her : I don't want to eat here, there or the other place, I'm tired of it.
Me : Fark it I'm going home you decide what YOU want to eat
Her : Why do you have to be upset about it?
Me : FACEPALM
2012-07-03 11:51:50 AM  
1 votes:

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.


SOMETHING INFLAMMATORY

/am I ignored yet?
2012-07-03 11:50:12 AM  
1 votes:

BurnShrike: urbangirl: honestly trying to offer a female viewpoint.

[www.glasswings.com image 640x480]


That is a horrible sink. ALL that space, and it's so small? The sink itself should be twice as big, and the faucet should be taller. I can't tell what it's made of, but if it's not stainless steel - it should be. I can totally understand why the woman who uses that sink is PO'd.
2012-07-03 11:48:37 AM  
1 votes:
Being male, I'd like to hear a Female response to Mens Rules for Women

So, ladies, how about it?
2012-07-03 11:48:29 AM  
1 votes:

BurnShrike: urbangirl: honestly trying to offer a female viewpoint.

[www.glasswings.com image 640x480]


t3.gstatic.com

I dont care who you are............
2012-07-03 11:47:09 AM  
1 votes:

padraig: Benevolent Misanthrope: padraig: I had never seen such contempt for a whole gender before in my life.

You don't get out much do you? This is generally the message of TV, movies, popular culture in general. Watch "Miss Representation" sometime to get an idea of how pervasive it is.

No no no... this is my fault actually. I haven't managed to fully express the full horror of that book, and its utter contempt for men.
At one point, it actually suggests that men routinely play with their excrements.


I have a little set of sails on masts made of toothpicks. I can turn my stool into a fleet of square riggers and stage little sea battles in the toilet bowl. It is most gratifying.
2012-07-03 11:44:39 AM  
1 votes:

padraig: Okay, just for the fun of it, but : has any man here ever tried to turn the tables on their s.o. .? By that, I mean rant endlessly about your own problem of the day, not letting her a word in edgewise, and getting offended if she offers a suggestion ?


Was told to man up.
2012-07-03 11:44:05 AM  
1 votes:

Kazrath: Posts like these make me wonder why any male would want a woman in the first place. Seriously, why the fark would you bring up something that is not a problem?

Woman: I need to fix the car
Man: What is broken
Woman: Nothing is broken
Man: ???????


Well, you know it's... I mean more or less... Yeah, vaginas. Pretty much. You know. Vaginas are pretty good. So I'm willing to put up with quite a bit.

Professor Henry Higgins: [singing] "Women are irrational, that's all there is to that! Their heads are full of cotton, hay, and rags. They're nothing but exasperating, irritating, vacillating, calculating, agitating, maddening and infuriating hags!"

Me: "Yea man, but... Vaginas. You know? Vaginas."

Professor Henry Higgins: "Well, now that you put it that way... Right on."
2012-07-03 11:43:18 AM  
1 votes:
Okay, just for the fun of it, but : has any man here ever tried to turn the tables on their s.o. .? By that, I mean rant endlessly about your own problem of the day, not letting her a word in edgewise, and getting offended if she offers a suggestion ?
2012-07-03 11:42:06 AM  
1 votes:

Jument: The one lesson I've learned is that wimmin sometimes just want to rant angrily at you and that when you do you MUST appear to listen and make sympathetic noises. You MUST NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES explain how to fix the problem. EVER. Not even if she appears to be asking you


Yeah. I will absolutely never understand why I have to appear to be listening. It's like, if you don't want my opinion, and just want to say stuff out loud, you can do that by yourself easily enough. I do it all the time.
They're just playing out some sadistic need to pass their suffering on to you because they know how much it frustrates you to have a solution to a problem but be prevented from implementing it. The joy they derive from your broken will makes them forget about whatever BS they were whining about.
2012-07-03 11:40:32 AM  
1 votes:

the_chief: Men drive like this. Women drive like this.


Women be shoppin'.
Biv
2012-07-03 11:39:31 AM  
1 votes:
What women say: You need to communicate better

What they mean: You need to sit there and listen to me incessantly go on and on about inane bullshiat and biatch about a million people you don't know and will never meet while not actually participating in the conversation but being sure to pay enough attention to nod in the right places and not be able to watch tv...till me shows are on, that is. Ooooooooo....Dancing with the Stars is on!!!!
2012-07-03 11:38:00 AM  
1 votes:
Men drive like this. Women drive like this.
2012-07-03 11:37:29 AM  
1 votes:

wingedkat: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.

I can't imagine what reading fark is like for you. It must be like a completely different site.


Think "Garfield without Garfield".
2012-07-03 11:36:15 AM  
1 votes:

R.A.Danny: All she wants every day lunch and dinner ever. She can't even crap right.


That's not the Taco Bell. She just likes to spend time at the "big and tall" section at JC Penney.

celebritystatus.com
2012-07-03 11:35:09 AM  
1 votes:
9. "You have a complicated set of double standards."

This one had me laughing to hard to even think about the others.
//wife almost in tears so angry that I bought a sink for my bathroom (we have separate bathrooms)
//get back from ski trip and wife is so proud of the awful paint job she did on our dining room without ever mentioning plans to paint.
2012-07-03 11:35:01 AM  
1 votes:

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.


I can't imagine what reading fark is like for you. It must be like a completely different site.
2012-07-03 11:34:32 AM  
1 votes:

Phinn: Women are easy to understand.

1. They want to pass on the best genes they can to their offspring. This biological imperative causes them to become obsessed with farking the male with the highest-quality genes she can entice to fark her. In this context, "high-quality" means healthy, physically capable, independent, intelligent in a socially-capable way, but above all, socially dominant (especially in the context of zero-sum competitions). This explains the female sexual response to top athletes, rock stars, and famous criminals.

2. Women also have a strong biological urge to find a man to provide her with economic security, since childbirth puts her (and her offspring) in a position of extremely low economic productivity and high vulnerability, for a very long time. In this context, a "high quality" male exhibits traits such as dependability, emotional stability, predictability, dependence, controllable by women, and thus a low degree of likelihood to go around impregnating other women, which would divert resources to those other women's offspring.

So, the result is women who (a) constantly try to contain, control and sponge off of the men , on whom they are dependent (providers), but to whom they are not sexually attracted (although who they may love in a soft, comfortable kind of way), while also (b) lusting like animals after men who are wholly unsuitable as providers but can be counted on to treat her like a sperm-hole.

This dual female psychological dynamic explains about 99% of female behavior. It's why women will date a safe provider then criticize the living crap out of him. It's why the same woman will throw away everything in her life and go a little insane just for the prospect of getting pumped and dumped by an obvious asshole.


You're a nice guy, but I like you as a friend.
2012-07-03 11:31:49 AM  
1 votes:
farm8.staticflickr.com
2012-07-03 11:26:06 AM  
1 votes:

Benevolent Misanthrope: You mean they don't? Huh. I thought all men wrote their name in the snow.


www.billboard.com

Approves
2012-07-03 11:22:53 AM  
1 votes:

R.A.Danny: gamergirl23: The Singing Bush: gamergirl23: The Singing Bush: I think it's hilarious that she doesn't follow number 9. My wife is terrible about this -

Me: Where do you want to go to dinner?
Her: I don't know, I'm not sure what I want
Me: How about here, or here, or here, or here, or here?
Her: No, none of those sound good.
Me: Well what do you want?
Her: Why can't YOU make a decision?
Me - head asplode

This is why one should have a default food/drink/activity. If you don't care but someone really wants you to pick, you just pick that to politely prevent them from going insane.

Tried that - she'll come back with "but we just did that like 6 months ago"

I don't know. Have her keep a list of her favorite restaurants in the car with the dates you last visited them?

My rule: If you make me choose where to go, you shut up about where we're going.

Otherwise I'd be happy to work with you towards picking a place, but don't tell me to choose unless you're ready to shut up and eat some damn BBQ.


I typically say Taco Bell as a threat. Amazingly, she'll start figuring out what she's in the mood for.
2012-07-03 11:16:55 AM  
1 votes:

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.


Who the fark are you for us to even care? Oh, gotcha some uber-dike who thinks her opinions matter more. Go invent something.
2012-07-03 11:14:55 AM  
1 votes:

miss diminutive: Andrew Wiggin: miss diminutive: Andrew Wiggin: miss diminutive: [www.dreamwidth.org image 100x100][replays.pl image 224x207][www.dreamwidth.org image 100x100][replays.pl image 224x207][www.dreamwidth.org image 100x100]

Ohhhhhh boy.

why didn't you say 'ohhhhhh girl'? typical freaking woman.

Why didn't you look me in the eyes when you said that? Typical freaking man.

[24.media.tumblr.com image 250x188]

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

answering a question with a question? typical freaking woman

[i45.tinypic.com image 201x151]

Resorting to threats of violence in order to use your size and strength as an advantage? Typical freaking man

[27.media.tumblr.com image 159x86]


True. A REAL man would resolve this in a simple fashion.

First one to orgasm wins?
2012-07-03 11:10:31 AM  
1 votes:
#5 Tendency to be critical

OH FARK yeah. Especially once they poop out a crotch-dropping, they feel like they are experts on everything and let the nagging and criticism incessantly fly. And they vote, as well.

Also, the chick's responses to the list are lame, lame, lame. That's the best she could come up with? Sounds like some sexless hen engaging in some premenstrual WRITER RAGE.
2012-07-03 11:10:09 AM  
1 votes:
to the author of the TFA:
i.imgur.com
2012-07-03 11:09:33 AM  
1 votes:
77+ comments, and I'm the only one stating they found identifying which line was from the guy or the girl confusing. I am that dumb.
2012-07-03 11:09:07 AM  
1 votes:

The Singing Bush: gamergirl23: The Singing Bush: I think it's hilarious that she doesn't follow number 9. My wife is terrible about this -

Me: Where do you want to go to dinner?
Her: I don't know, I'm not sure what I want
Me: How about here, or here, or here, or here, or here?
Her: No, none of those sound good.
Me: Well what do you want?
Her: Why can't YOU make a decision?
Me - head asplode

This is why one should have a default food/drink/activity. If you don't care but someone really wants you to pick, you just pick that to politely prevent them from going insane.

Tried that - she'll come back with "but we just did that like 6 months ago"


My wife apparently has a secret twin.
2012-07-03 11:06:25 AM  
1 votes:

miss diminutive: susansto-helit: jylcat: susansto-helit: I have to admit that #4 really pisses me off. I cannot control when I start crying, so don't accuse me of using it as a weapon when I do.

Unfortunately for me, I cry when I get pissed off!

Me too. I get angry and I can feel the tears coming. It's completely beyond my control. It kinda sucks.

Same here. I cry when I laugh or sneeze, so getting upset is a guaranteed tear jerker. The more I concentrate on not crying, the worse it gets. It's really not helpful because most often crying doesn't really help the situation.


I cry when I drink. It's an Irish thing
2012-07-03 11:06:22 AM  
1 votes:
Women are easy to understand.

1. They want to pass on the best genes they can to their offspring. This biological imperative causes them to become obsessed with farking the male with the highest-quality genes she can entice to fark her. In this context, "high-quality" means healthy, physically capable, independent, intelligent in a socially-capable way, but above all, socially dominant (especially in the context of zero-sum competitions). This explains the female sexual response to top athletes, rock stars, and famous criminals.

2. Women also have a strong biological urge to find a man to provide her with economic security, since childbirth puts her (and her offspring) in a position of extremely low economic productivity and high vulnerability, for a very long time. In this context, a "high quality" male exhibits traits such as dependability, emotional stability, predictability, dependence, controllable by women, and thus a low degree of likelihood to go around impregnating other women, which would divert resources to those other women's offspring.

So, the result is women who (a) constantly try to contain, control and sponge off of the men , on whom they are dependent (providers), but to whom they are not sexually attracted (although who they may love in a soft, comfortable kind of way), while also (b) lusting like animals after men who are wholly unsuitable as providers but can be counted on to treat her like a sperm-hole.

This dual female psychological dynamic explains about 99% of female behavior. It's why women will date a safe provider then criticize the living crap out of him. It's why the same woman will throw away everything in her life and go a little insane just for the prospect of getting pumped and dumped by an obvious asshole.
2012-07-03 11:04:24 AM  
1 votes:

WhippingBoy: Savage Bacon: Woah! Gotta love the use of the ol' CAPS LOCK to get a point across. Really helps your argument, lady. I can feel your exasperation through your written word... Such angst!

One of the first thing I learned about relationships and the difference between men and women had to do with sympathizing vs. problem-solving. As a man, if I start talking to my male friends about an issue I'm having, it's pretty much advice solicitation on my part. If my gf comes to me with an issue, it's usually just to vent, so I let her vent. If she actually needs any advice, I wait for her to ask for it, because apparently giving advice really gets in the way of a good venting session.

Yep. Took me 10 years to learn this. Confused the hell out of me. My wife would come to me, complaining about some relatively minor thing. I'd present her with a logical, clear-cut solution that would be guaranteed to solve her problem, and she would just get angry at me.


Yep. Mrs. W. mentions an issue and seems a little upset. So I run through various solutions that seem quite logical to solve the issue. She gets upset that I'm trying to fix things, then I get upset she isn't listening and then it gets all quiet. Give it an hour, it's all good. See, I keep thinking like an engineer and trying to fix things. That is apparently the wrong answer.

Stupid article is stupid.

/Didn't get the instruction manual and there's no readme on this one.
//At least it doesn't get all stabby. Didn't marry a crazy.
2012-07-03 11:03:30 AM  
1 votes:
I start crying when I reach emotional equilibrium.
2012-07-03 11:03:05 AM  
1 votes:

miss diminutive: I cry pee when I laugh or sneeze


you know you do
2012-07-03 11:01:43 AM  
1 votes:

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.


You know why there are so many hard-core "feminists" on Fark instead of sites like "Feministe" or "Feministing"?
Because in spite of all the misogynistic, body-shaming, slut-shaming, ableist, sexist, classist, racist comments by white, cis-gendered males, it STILL beats the hell out of listening to other "feminists" use every means necessary to rationalize their failures in life.
2012-07-03 10:58:08 AM  
1 votes:

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.


I like to ignore people for voicing an individually unpopular opinion too.
2012-07-03 10:57:29 AM  
1 votes:
I read most of the article (only made it to 7) and said... wow, this is a lot of venting from some angry woman. Scrolled up and sure enough the author was a woman. Thankfully all women aren't like this one!
2012-07-03 10:55:42 AM  
1 votes:
Both articles were written by morons and neither one deserved a place on this hellhole.
2012-07-03 10:52:14 AM  
1 votes:
Woah! Gotta love the use of the ol' CAPS LOCK to get a point across. Really helps your argument, lady. I can feel your exasperation through your written word... Such angst!

One of the first thing I learned about relationships and the difference between men and women had to do with sympathizing vs. problem-solving. As a man, if I start talking to my male friends about an issue I'm having, it's pretty much advice solicitation on my part. If my gf comes to me with an issue, it's usually just to vent, so I let her vent. If she actually needs any advice, I wait for her to ask for it, because apparently giving advice really gets in the way of a good venting session.
2012-07-03 10:51:35 AM  
1 votes:

Superjew: The Author:

[www.thestranger.com image 249x298]


No surprises there...
2012-07-03 10:47:41 AM  
1 votes:
www.dreamwidth.orgreplays.plwww.dreamwidth.orgreplays.plwww.dreamwidth.org

Ohhhhhh boy.
2012-07-03 10:47:15 AM  
1 votes:

scottydoesntknow: Sounds like Lindy West Grant Langston, Sr Director, Content just needs a good dicking


FTFY

I think the fact that the original list is from eHarmony says ALOT.
2012-07-03 10:46:37 AM  
1 votes:
I kind of have to agree with the author. That writer for eharmony sounded pretty damn stupid.
2012-07-03 10:46:27 AM  
1 votes:
Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.
2012-07-03 10:44:54 AM  
1 votes:
Dear God, I read the first one in the politics tab, now this, am I a closet masochist, Fark?
2012-07-03 10:44:01 AM  
1 votes:
Who has the popcorn?
 
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