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(Jezebel)   "Women's Ten Biggest Complaints About Men's Ten Biggest Complaints About Women." Or, how to create an internet flame war the likes of which God has never seen   (jezebel.com) divider line 194
    More: Interesting, flame wars, gender stereotypes, eHarmony, complaints  
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19217 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jul 2012 at 10:41 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2012-07-03 10:49:33 AM  
11 votes:

IrateShadow: Meh, the women who think like that are really easy to deal with. Dump 'em and try a different one.


Also, I noticed that the author of this article does not even bother to respond to some of those points. She's just expressing dismay that men could think like that. There is absolutely NO empathy to the viewpoints of the other gender.
2012-07-03 10:34:05 AM  
11 votes:
"You see us as projects you can 'fix.'"

I generally see women as projects that I can't fix. Can't suggest a goddamned solution to her petty drama problems without getting an earful about how insensitive I'm being. Just gotta nod and agree. "Oh, that's nice dear. Yes, everyone in your office is out to get you. I completely agree."

Anyhow, the original list is dumb and the responses are even dumber.
2012-07-03 11:06:22 AM  
9 votes:
Women are easy to understand.

1. They want to pass on the best genes they can to their offspring. This biological imperative causes them to become obsessed with farking the male with the highest-quality genes she can entice to fark her. In this context, "high-quality" means healthy, physically capable, independent, intelligent in a socially-capable way, but above all, socially dominant (especially in the context of zero-sum competitions). This explains the female sexual response to top athletes, rock stars, and famous criminals.

2. Women also have a strong biological urge to find a man to provide her with economic security, since childbirth puts her (and her offspring) in a position of extremely low economic productivity and high vulnerability, for a very long time. In this context, a "high quality" male exhibits traits such as dependability, emotional stability, predictability, dependence, controllable by women, and thus a low degree of likelihood to go around impregnating other women, which would divert resources to those other women's offspring.

So, the result is women who (a) constantly try to contain, control and sponge off of the men , on whom they are dependent (providers), but to whom they are not sexually attracted (although who they may love in a soft, comfortable kind of way), while also (b) lusting like animals after men who are wholly unsuitable as providers but can be counted on to treat her like a sperm-hole.

This dual female psychological dynamic explains about 99% of female behavior. It's why women will date a safe provider then criticize the living crap out of him. It's why the same woman will throw away everything in her life and go a little insane just for the prospect of getting pumped and dumped by an obvious asshole.
2012-07-03 10:58:50 AM  
9 votes:
I think it's hilarious that she doesn't follow number 9. My wife is terrible about this -

Me: Where do you want to go to dinner?
Her: I don't know, I'm not sure what I want
Me: How about here, or here, or here, or here, or here?
Her: No, none of those sound good.
Me: Well what do you want?
Her: Why can't YOU make a decision?
Me - head asplode
2012-07-03 10:52:14 AM  
9 votes:
Woah! Gotta love the use of the ol' CAPS LOCK to get a point across. Really helps your argument, lady. I can feel your exasperation through your written word... Such angst!

One of the first thing I learned about relationships and the difference between men and women had to do with sympathizing vs. problem-solving. As a man, if I start talking to my male friends about an issue I'm having, it's pretty much advice solicitation on my part. If my gf comes to me with an issue, it's usually just to vent, so I let her vent. If she actually needs any advice, I wait for her to ask for it, because apparently giving advice really gets in the way of a good venting session.
2012-07-03 11:12:51 AM  
8 votes:

factoryconnection: I'd go even farther: her non-responses to several of those was effectively her agreeing with the original author. Sliding a one-liner jab in is not a rebuttal, but it is clear that she had no rebuttal to several of those.


"You're right about us, but fark you anyway because it's your fault we're like this."

- Every Jezebel column ever
2012-07-03 11:00:44 AM  
8 votes:
"I can't be bothered to come up with well reasoned arguments. So I'm just going to splash some general emotional rage across the page."

Way to represent your gender, lady.
2012-07-03 10:46:07 AM  
8 votes:
I once read a book that was supposed to explain women to men. In the middle of treating men live barely functionnal children that avoid responsibility like the plague, don't wash and only think about video games (those points were made several times, incessantly, during the entire book), the book answered each criticisms of women by men by "yeah, so what ? Deal with it, you farking child".

I had never seen such contempt for a whole gender before in my life.
This article comes pretty close.
2012-07-03 11:41:22 AM  
7 votes:
Ah, another article by a "strong" woman who exudes her strength through irrational lashing-outs, shouting down anything she disagrees with, and generally writing one of the most befuddling, disorganized articles fathomable.

I wish strong (for both men and women) was synonymous with "quietly competent"
2012-07-03 11:24:45 AM  
7 votes:

Biv: Because girls never just cry. Once tears start flowing the conversation turns emotional and nothing can be done. Time to shut down the conversation until you compose yourself.


Men should not try to have "conversations" with women. At least, not conversations where you expect to exchange information. That almost never happens.

The female mind is a perfectly insular bubble of solipsistic emotion. They have a completely different experience with this thing that men know as "objective reality." Women are not connected to it, and so they are often confused and frustrated when men keep referring to it as though it means something.

This is why women make lousy engineers and even worse lawyers. Women can engage in logical reasoning the way that parrots can engage in human speech. They are, however, good at jobs that involve caretaking (nurses, teachers) and socializing in ways that involve running their mouths (PR, HR, some aspects of marketing).
2012-07-03 10:48:04 AM  
7 votes:
"You want us to change, and then lose respect for us when we do."

Well, you do get the whole "OMG firefighters are teh sexy" followed by "Please stop running into burning buildings, baby. It's dangerous and I don't want to lose you."

And then she goes and bangs a racecar driver.
2012-07-03 11:04:16 AM  
6 votes:

WhippingBoy: Savage Bacon: Woah! Gotta love the use of the ol' CAPS LOCK to get a point across. Really helps your argument, lady. I can feel your exasperation through your written word... Such angst!

One of the first thing I learned about relationships and the difference between men and women had to do with sympathizing vs. problem-solving. As a man, if I start talking to my male friends about an issue I'm having, it's pretty much advice solicitation on my part. If my gf comes to me with an issue, it's usually just to vent, so I let her vent. If she actually needs any advice, I wait for her to ask for it, because apparently giving advice really gets in the way of a good venting session.

Yep. Took me 10 years to learn this. Confused the hell out of me. My wife would come to me, complaining about some relatively minor thing. I'd present her with a logical, clear-cut solution that would be guaranteed to solve her problem, and she would just get angry at me.



Nod, make sympathetic sounds, and angle the laptop screen so she can't see you're knocking out a couple more turns in Alpha Centauri/Civ 5/etc. Ask her how she feels, how her close female friends feel, etc. The next morning actually start to discuss logical solutions and act like you spent the whole night pondering them. Score points for being a good listener and staying up all night to think about her problem.
2012-07-03 11:01:43 AM  
6 votes:

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.


You know why there are so many hard-core "feminists" on Fark instead of sites like "Feministe" or "Feministing"?
Because in spite of all the misogynistic, body-shaming, slut-shaming, ableist, sexist, classist, racist comments by white, cis-gendered males, it STILL beats the hell out of listening to other "feminists" use every means necessary to rationalize their failures in life.
2012-07-03 11:01:08 AM  
6 votes:

Tat'dGreaser: That last one is spot on. I do it all the time, I use a personal experience to explain an entire group of people. That's exactly what that guy did. His one friend just happened to date a crazy chick and all of a sudden all women were crazy.


The myth that all women are crazy is rooted in the fact that all women are crazy.
Biv
2012-07-03 10:58:54 AM  
6 votes:

susansto-helit: I have to admit that #4 really pisses me off. I cannot control when I start crying, so don't accuse me of using it as a weapon when I do.


Fine, then go compose yourself and we can continue this conversation when you can do so like an adult.
2012-07-03 10:47:50 AM  
6 votes:

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.


But then where would you get your confirmation bias that all men are sexist, misogynistic pigs?
2012-07-03 10:45:46 AM  
6 votes:

susansto-helit: I have to admit that #4 really pisses me off. I cannot control when I start crying, so don't accuse me of using it as a weapon when I do.


If you'd grown up as a man you'd have to learn to control when you start crying.
2012-07-03 11:58:45 AM  
5 votes:

Thorak: 4) If the guy is the one making the decisions, as you're describing, then ALL of this pressure is being placed on his shoulders, with the added pressure of not tripping any of our emotional mines that will set off a fight. Which is why we'd just rather you say you want to go to the Thai place on Main St. without making us guess that that's where you really want to go tonight for a whole bunch of little reasons you haven't told us about.


Look, people -- when a woman tells you she wants you to make a decision about where to eat dinner, then criticizes your decision, YOU ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT DINNER.

You are PRETENDING to talk about dinner.

However, you are ACTUALLY talking about whether you are a suitable mate for her. This is a TEST of your manhood.

If you take the bait and actually debate the merits of Dinner A versus Dinner B, then you are MISSING THE ENTIRE POINT.

You are having two completely different conversations. You are trying to exchange information. She is trying to define your relationship.

What she is REALLY saying is: "I suspect you of being indecisive and ineffectual, and thus an inferior choice as mate. Please assume benevolent command over me."

This is what 90% of your conversations will actually be about -- defining the nature of your relationship. This is true regardless of the actual "content" of the words you two may speak, which count for virtually nothing.

Continuing to converse with her as you would with a man and a peer is a BAD IDEA. Do not appeal to reason. Do not appeal to fairness. Do not appeal to logical or historical consistency. Do not provide or solicit information. Doing so will only lead to frustration on your part, and frustration on her part.
2012-07-03 11:30:53 AM  
5 votes:
This article just shows how men aren't allowed to have ANY complaints about women, otherwise you are a misogynist, and wrong. Only women can complain about men -- all men, in one big generalization -- and expect to be have their complaints not just taken seriously, but acknowledged as fact. And if you don't acknowledge those complaints? You're a misogynist, and wrong.
2012-07-03 11:00:21 AM  
5 votes:

WhippingBoy: Savage Bacon: Woah! Gotta love the use of the ol' CAPS LOCK to get a point across. Really helps your argument, lady. I can feel your exasperation through your written word... Such angst!

One of the first thing I learned about relationships and the difference between men and women had to do with sympathizing vs. problem-solving. As a man, if I start talking to my male friends about an issue I'm having, it's pretty much advice solicitation on my part. If my gf comes to me with an issue, it's usually just to vent, so I let her vent. If she actually needs any advice, I wait for her to ask for it, because apparently giving advice really gets in the way of a good venting session.

Yep. Took me 10 years to learn this. Confused the hell out of me. My wife would come to me, complaining about some relatively minor thing. I'd present her with a logical, clear-cut solution that would be guaranteed to solve her problem, and she would just get angry at me.


The thing I hate though, when a guy vents about something just for the sake of stress relief, he has "anger issues" or is "being too negative".
2012-07-03 11:00:07 AM  
5 votes:

susansto-helit: I have to admit that #4 really pisses me off. I cannot control when I start crying, so don't accuse me of using it as a weapon when I do.


Fair enough, but don't get upset when men immediately stop the conversation at that point. Once the tears start, there is absolutely NO way that continuing could possibly work out well for the man.
2012-07-03 10:48:02 AM  
5 votes:

padraig: I once read a book that was supposed to explain women to men. In the middle of treating men live barely functionnal children that avoid responsibility like the plague, don't wash and only think about video games (those points were made several times, incessantly, during the entire book), the book answered each criticisms of women by men by "yeah, so what ? Deal with it, you farking child".

I had never seen such contempt for a whole gender before in my life.
This article comes pretty close.


Meh, the women who think like that are really easy to deal with. Dump 'em and try a different one.
2012-07-03 10:41:42 AM  
5 votes:

mitchcumstein1: scottydoesntknow: Sounds like Lindy West just needs a good dicking

Have at it, she's all yours.

Yeesh.


Hey hey hey now, I'm not falling on that grenade. I just said she needs A dicking, not MY dicking.
2012-07-03 10:35:35 AM  
5 votes:
Sounds like Lindy West just needs a good dicking
2012-07-03 01:54:16 PM  
4 votes:

Yeah, we should bite on this. Apologies to all women for writing this, there's a lot of generalization down below, but in stereotypes there are grains of truth, and lots of fun flamewars.

1) Yeah, great point! You're so right-no one in a serious relationship should ever have to compromise or change anything about themselves out of respect for their partner. Except for women, of course, who need to change the ten things in this list IMMEDIATELY or risk never being on the receiving end of Grant Langston, Sr Director, Content's directed content ever again.


This is typical woman argument. The original point being made was "We're not projects you can fix, stop trying," and this manipulative crybaby is turning it into an issue about compromise because, well, who could argue that relationships are about compromise right? When you're a woman, and you just lost an argument, you have to re-frame the issue. This is political word-changing 101.

She presumes that all "fixes" she feels you need are in fact perfectly justified "compromises" that you agreed to upon starting a relationship. This is semantic manipulation worthy of a female with a degree in liberal arts from a decent college. Your parents get leeway to force you to change behavior when you're a child because they're trying to raise you. Once you turn 18, compromise is not something you owe to anyone. Compromise is something you grant out of love in a relationship to preserve the peace. Fixing your boyfriend is when you tell him which friends he can and cannot have, rather than learning to appreciate his friends for what they are. Fixing your boyfriend is telling him how he must spend his free time. Fixing your boyfriend is getting on his case for a single comment he made because it wasn't something you might say. Don't do these things Ladies. The compromise in a relationship is about accepting who the person you got involved with is, not imposing all the tweaks you want until they conform to what you expected.

2) SO SPECIFIC. IT'S ALL SO SPECIFIC. I'M SORRY YOU BOUGHT THAT UNGRATEFUL biatch SOME TIRES, OKAY? I'm willing to accept that it's mostly my fault she didn't like your tires, but how's about we call it bygones at this point?


The point is valid though. I've never watched the notebook, but having gotten a summary from a girl last night and watching a bit of it, it's absolutely no surprise to me why women set themselves up for disappointment w.r.t romance. If Hollywood is to be believed, women seem to want to view themselves as the ultimate charitable beings on the planet. Again, just generalizing from stupid movies, but they seem to want to view themselves as being wealthy privileged women who take pity on attractive, but disadvantaged white men (jokes in jokes here fellas), and grant them love and compassion against all odds and opposition from the "bad people" who thought they knew better. Basically female romance is portrayed as some kind of longshot gamble on what this super-woman amazingly perceives a winner but everyone else warns them against.

NOT PICTURED: Actual compromise with the man after marrying him; meaning accepting his lower-class friends for what they are, putting up with his idea of a good way to spend free time, etc..etc.. It's like the imagination for women stops just before you consider how to live with someone, because if your social skills manage to snag you the "perfect" husband, everything will just work itself out. lol

3) This is a great one. Instead of planning ahead for the future, it's way sexier to live your life like a brine shrimp or mayfly-as far as you know, you're gonna die in the next 30 minutes so you should probably fark real quick and then lay your eggs in some silt. For instance, this month-just to live in the now and be spontaneous-I spent my rent money on this disapproving fiberglass lion! I'm homeless now, but it's the caliente kind of homeless!


This is indeed a great one. It's great because some women seem to value spontaneity and the beauty of randomly finding the right guy, but they also want to plan out the whole damn sequence of events of their life. The contradiction is in that behavior, so if you behave that way, you're creating a contradiction so obvious that men laugh at you. Seriously, we do. That behavior is STUPID.

Here's a tip ladies, Life is random, be adaptable. Learn as much as you can, learn a trade, find some way to make yourself truly valuable to industry for the bad times. Don't plan on having a mansion by the ocean by retirement, your chances of ending up where you planned on being are basically nil. Consider that humans have been nomads for most of their existence on this planet. Consider we still have large populations of social nomadic cultures. Do you think that these people plan their lives more than a season or two out? Do they starve and die? Relax your control on what your life is "supposed" to be, and maybe you'll enjoy it more. Just a thought.

4) God, women, it's so farking annoying and manipulative when you start crying all over the place, when all we were trying to do was say a bunch of stuff that makes you cry.


Oh, I agree, it was unfair to accuse women of using their emotions as a weapon. Most of them don't. It is more appropriate to say they use the display of emotions as a weapon. You see, in the developed world, fathers do stupid things to their daughters, namely, they treat them differently than their male siblings. When boys and girls are young, they both mostly cry equally. As they get older tho, boys are yelled at when this happens, and sometimes punished until they *STOP* crying. But as Girls get older they are essentially caved in to. So yes, if you're a woman, chances are HIGHLY LIKELY that you were in some way taught by your dad that if you showed enough lack of control of your emotion, he would simply give you what you wanted.

Not all fathers are this stupid, so not all women are like this. The women that are not like this are actually highly prized by the smart guys out there. So many of you ladies still act like you can get your way when you cry, it's created a valid stereotype. If you don't like this stereotype, please tell your husband to stop treating his daughters like they're fragile china dolls and instead teach them that life *IS* tough. So mostly, we forgive you for having this horrible horrible trait as an adult, but that doesn't mean that it's ok.

5)Is there a Sr Sr Director of Content who could have directed Grant toward the fact that he's complaining about how women complain too much in an article called "Men's Ten Biggest Complaints About Women"?


Actually there is, but he was busy being nagged by his wife.

6) Grant Langston, I am so mad at you for dragging me into this "men do this/women do this" hacky bullshiat barbecue, but MEN DO THIS WAY MORE THAN WOMEN DO THIS. Get your gender stereotypes straight-men are aloof, women are needy. Duh. Haven't you ever seen a farking romantic comedy? This is a classic dude move-to pretend like you don't like someone so that they'll chase you but won't accidentally like you too much so that you can control the situation or whatever. (And uuuuuuuuuuugh, saying "classic dude move" goes against everything I stand for.) Also, I thought you were mad at us for not giving you enough time in your "man cave"! Do you want us to pay attention to you or do you want us to leave you alone? Plz respond ASAP because I really want this to work out between us.


I have no problem with how coy you are, you don't need to write paragraphs like that to prove it to me. Men aren't aloof, they're quiet. Men aren't coy, they just don't have anything to say, and no reason to have a huge conversation. All those times you're confused because some guy isn't saying much, he's probably just staring at your boobs. His visual cortex is going crazy, not his language center. He's not pretending he doesn't like you. He probably likes you just fine because men have no standards. We would marry realdolls if it were acceptable and they could be programmed to clean house.

7 and 8 had responses that aren't worth responding to.

9)So...when you say "I could write a novel on this one"...are you thinking like magical realism? Is this a weird stream-of-consciousness surrealist thought experiment where dolphins grow on trees and ennui gets elected president? Because so far it's working. I am not following you at all.


thedoghousediaries.com
^^ Don't be that way.

10)Just to sum up: The 10th thing that men hate most about women is Grant Langston, Sr Director, Content's one friend's biatchy girlfriend this one time. 'Kay. Curse you, Jennifer!!!

So, I'm pretty sure that this isn't "Men's Ten Biggest Complaints About Women"-it's "Man's Ten Biggest Complaints About Women." I don't know exactly what Mrs. Sr Director, Content did to provoke this level of disgruntlementation (although I do know it involved George Clooney, unsolicited tire replacement, golf-shaming, and who should pay for the burritos).But really, the main problem with most of these complaints isn't that they're unreasonable-it's that they're the kind of shiatty things that all people do in relationships sometimes. There are no Women Things and Man Things-there are just People Things.

And if your conclusion is that women are people...then I guess this is like the most feminist article of all time. Woo hoo! Grant Langston, Sr Director of GIRL POWER!


Oh, well, true. These are just people on people things. I've just never seen a guy in a relationship cry to affect an argument. I've never seen a guy complain about his woman's choice of free time activity. I've never seen a guy do anything other than a very straightforward search for a woman who attracts them and is willing to put up with his shiat.

Sadly, many women don't want to put up with guy stuff, they just want their planned-out fantasy life full of days of incremental changes to make their man match their childish expectations.
2012-07-03 12:33:11 PM  
4 votes:

God Is My Co-Pirate: R.A.Danny: gamergirl23: The Singing Bush: gamergirl23: The Singing Bush: I think it's hilarious that she doesn't follow number 9. My wife is terrible about this -

Me: Where do you want to go to dinner?
Her: I don't know, I'm not sure what I want
Me: How about here, or here, or here, or here, or here?
Her: No, none of those sound good.
Me: Well what do you want?
Her: Why can't YOU make a decision?
Me - head asplode

This is why one should have a default food/drink/activity. If you don't care but someone really wants you to pick, you just pick that to politely prevent them from going insane.

Tried that - she'll come back with "but we just did that like 6 months ago"

I don't know. Have her keep a list of her favorite restaurants in the car with the dates you last visited them?

My rule: If you make me choose where to go, you shut up about where we're going.

Otherwise I'd be happy to work with you towards picking a place, but don't tell me to choose unless you're ready to shut up and eat some damn BBQ.

Okay, you want to knnow what's going on in our heads during this scenario?

1) We want a place with the right atmosphere to suit our mood (and our clothes and transport)
2) We want a menu that's right for our food/guilt issues (if I'm feeling fat, I don't want BBQ, but I also want you to be happy so I make you pick)
3) We want you to pick because it means you've put thought into it - planning something is more romantic than just ending up wherever's closest
4) If we have kids or not a lot of money, so we're not going out too often, it increases the pressure to have everything go perfectly

I'm not saying it's not crazy, but there you go. Just say "I've heard there's a great new place just opened. I've booked us a table for Friday."


And thus the crazy demonstrates itself. It's no wonder you ladies are walking balls of angst if this is the kind of baggage you tack on to something as simple as where to eat.

Men only have four criteria for where to eat:

1) How hungry am I?
2) Can I afford it?
3) How close is it?
4) Does it sound tasty right now?

If a woman is involved the only new factor is:

5) Would she like to eat that?

Four of those questions we can answer for ourselves. The fifth one we answer by simply ASKING YOU!

Then you fark up a simple procedure by complicating it with all your emotional bullshiat.
2012-07-03 12:27:41 PM  
4 votes:
Holy shiat, this article is stupid.

7. "You fixate on what we're thinking, when you should be watching what we're doing."

:-|

I think my feelings on this one can best be summed up by disapproving fiberglass lion.


Lady, I don't care how you feel about this. When you ask me what I'm thinking, I'm thinking about paying my bills, six different problems at work, whether I should be looking for another job, when I should ask for a raise, where I'm taking you on vacation, where I'm taking you to dinner tonight, your boobs, the boobs of the girl in the next car, whether or not my cell phone is charged, how much longer I can get by with my current office chair before I need to replace it, whether or not I've actually seen every episode of my favorite television show, if I'm ever going to get to see my favorite band in concert again, your boobs, my ex-girlfriend's boobs, what it would be like if I had been a samurai, whether or not I'm on track to retirement, whether or not you're going to say yes if I propose, whether or not we should get a cat, and boobs as a general concept.

So you know what? Stop asking me what I'm thinking about. I am not "grumpy", and I'm just going to say "nothing" again.

1. "You see us as projects you can 'fix.'"

Yeah, great point! You're so right-no one in a serious relationship should ever have to compromise or change anything about themselves out of respect for their partner.


At a certain age, if you haven't figured out that other people are other people and that they aren't going to make fundamental changes to themselves for you, you're hopelessly lost.
2012-07-03 12:04:04 PM  
4 votes:

urbangirl: Wow. Because everyone who isn't exactly like you is wrong.
How's that working for ya?


This is the absolute PERFECT response. You gave the female viewpoint, I countered with the male viewpoint, and you decided that I was saying you were wrong.

My assumption is that you think we should cater to your viewpoint, and that you don't feel the need to understand ours at all.
2012-07-03 11:52:21 AM  
4 votes:
1) Crying is not a solution. Grow a pair of ovaries.

2) Don't talk about problems if you have no intention of fixing them and aren't soliciting advice.

3) Don't expect me to guess correctly when you give me a choice with a secret 'correct' answer than will make you happy.

4) Lady in public, whore in the bedroom.

Just at least CONSIDER those four guidelines, and you'll be better than a big hunk of the female half of the population.
2012-07-03 11:47:37 AM  
4 votes:

God Is My Co-Pirate: Okay, you want to knnow what's going on in our heads during this scenario?

1) We want a place with the right atmosphere to suit our mood (and our clothes and transport)
2) We want a menu that's right for our food/guilt issues (if I'm feeling fat, I don't want BBQ, but I also want you to be happy so I make you pick)
3) We want you to pick because it means you've put thought into it - planning something is more romantic than just ending up wherever's closest
4) If we have kids or not a lot of money, so we're not going out too often, it increases the pressure to have everything go perfectly

I'm not saying it's not crazy, but there you go. Just say "I've heard there's a great new place just opened. I've booked us a table for Friday."


We know what's going through your heads. The point is that what you just described is unfair and deliberately antagonistic.

1) We aren't psychic. If you tell us to pick, you have given us zero information from which to divine your mood. You have, in fact, told US to pick, which implies that you don't HAVE a mood that would suggest a restaurant.

2) You just stated that you had a preference, but you didn't want to say it, because you want us to psychically guess the right choice. This is not just unfair, it's an emotional minefield you have DELIBERATELY lain, just to see if we blow ourselves up.

3) You want the guy to pick, to show he's put thought into planning something romantic, but you of course don't need to make any such plans or efforts. Men don't like playing this game because of the above two issues; you have created an emotional minefield, where there's a delicate route to what's "romantic", but dozens of little mines that change every moment based on current mood and such that will blow everything the fark up. Planned a romantic evening at a nice Italian place you know she likes? Whoops, she's feeling fat today because she had ice cream at lunch and didn't tell you, so now she's going to get angry that you're taking her to for even more fattening food. This is why we hate this game and ask where you want to go, because from a list of 30 restaurants, 28 will result in a fight. And the next time we go to dinner, the 2 "right" restaurants will be completely different.

4) If the guy is the one making the decisions, as you're describing, then ALL of this pressure is being placed on his shoulders, with the added pressure of not tripping any of our emotional mines that will set off a fight. Which is why we'd just rather you say you want to go to the Thai place on Main St. without making us guess that that's where you really want to go tonight for a whole bunch of little reasons you haven't told us about.
2012-07-03 11:44:56 AM  
4 votes:

God Is My Co-Pirate: 1) We want a place with the right atmosphere to suit our mood (and our clothes and transport)
2) We want a menu that's right for our food/guilt issues (if I'm feeling fat, I don't want BBQ, but I also want you to be happy so I make you pick)
3) We want you to pick because it means you've put thought into it - planning something is more romantic than just ending up wherever's closest
4) If we have kids or not a lot of money, so we're not going out too often, it increases the pressure to have everything go perfectly

I'm not saying it's not crazy, but there you go. Just say "I've heard there's a great new place just opened. I've booked us a table for Friday."


You realize that this is all passive-agressive bullshiat, right?

You literally just said "I want you to read my mind, know all of my thoughts and feelings without me expressing them, then make a decision based on that so I don't take any of the blame if it ends poorly."

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the insight, but holy shiat. Do you realize what an untenable position that puts your partner in? You've literally given him 10 different opportunities to fail and no guidance on how not to.
2012-07-03 11:05:25 AM  
4 votes:

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.


Nobody cares about your ignore list. Go be biatchy somewhere else.
2012-07-03 11:01:41 AM  
4 votes:

susansto-helit: I cannot control when I start crying, so don't accuse me of using it as a weapon when I do.


Are you an adult? If so, you can control it.
2012-07-03 11:01:30 AM  
4 votes:

susansto-helit: I have to admit that #4 really pisses me off. I cannot control when I start crying, so don't accuse me of using it as a weapon when I do.


The problem isn't the crying, the problem is continuing to fight and demand that you get what you want when you cry. When one partner explains their needs by calmly asserting their importance while the other one explains their needs by sobbing and freaking out? The latter always wins. It's an emotional game of chicken.

If you need to cry, then cry. But while you're crying, decisions need to be off the table.
2012-07-03 10:55:46 AM  
4 votes:

Savage Bacon: Woah! Gotta love the use of the ol' CAPS LOCK to get a point across. Really helps your argument, lady. I can feel your exasperation through your written word... Such angst!

One of the first thing I learned about relationships and the difference between men and women had to do with sympathizing vs. problem-solving. As a man, if I start talking to my male friends about an issue I'm having, it's pretty much advice solicitation on my part. If my gf comes to me with an issue, it's usually just to vent, so I let her vent. If she actually needs any advice, I wait for her to ask for it, because apparently giving advice really gets in the way of a good venting session.


Yep. Took me 10 years to learn this. Confused the hell out of me. My wife would come to me, complaining about some relatively minor thing. I'd present her with a logical, clear-cut solution that would be guaranteed to solve her problem, and she would just get angry at me.
2012-07-03 10:40:28 AM  
4 votes:

susansto-helit: I have to admit that #4 really pisses me off. I cannot control when I start crying, so don't accuse me of using it as a weapon when I do.


You're just saying that to get sympathy.
2012-07-03 08:14:00 PM  
3 votes:
How is it possible to respect somebody who won't even watch where she puts her ass? Using a toilet is a skill we all should have learned as a toddler, but somehow it's all my fault that she ends up with a butt soaked in poo-water?

I'm gay (luckily), but had a female roommate for awhile, and I finally managed to get her to admit that it would be just as considerate for her to make sure the lid was up when she finished using the toilet, and since I wasn't her boyfriend it made no sense for her to constantly rag on me for not leaving the stupid toilet in the down position just to prevent her dumbass self from falling in.

She actually agreed that the adult, mature, sane thing to do would be for both of us to check that the lid was in the proper position before we used the facilites.

Of course, she promptly forgot that conversation and continued to make a giant farking deal out of it. Thank god I live alone now.
2012-07-03 12:46:22 PM  
3 votes:

Slayinit: [www.worldcompass.org image 300x321]

Someone, somewhere, would consider pleasuring this creature. Which one of you farkers is man enough?


Abso-goddamn-lutely. I'd perform oral ministrations on her secret magic flower until she howled like a dog with a fleet of firetrucks driving by. All of her man-hate would dissolve in a chain of foaming, gushing orgasms until she begged me to take her like a marauding pirate. Only then would she present herself en la mode des chiens whereupon I would mount her and plunge my beefy thumb into her quivering anus, stroking her broad backside with my free hand, and plumbing her womanly depths with my manhood.

Thus, her perspectives would be forever changed for the better.
2012-07-03 12:29:19 PM  
3 votes:

susansto-helit: I have to admit that #4 really pisses me off. I cannot control when I start crying, so don't accuse me of using it as a weapon when I do.


then grow the fark up
kgf
2012-07-03 12:24:29 PM  
3 votes:
Was going to post this on Jezebel's site, but changed my mind. These comments are addressed to the snarky biatches who left comments there, not the lovely ladies of Fark:


Love it. Women always complain that men don't "open up", or "share their feelings", and as soon as a man does that, all you do is shiat all over him and tell him why he's so, so, so specifically wrong. Well here's #11 on the "Why I'd Rather Watch TV than Talk to You" list - you're a bunch of self-righteous hypocrites.
2012-07-03 11:59:59 AM  
3 votes:

urbangirl: Maybe because we need to verbalizing about a problem in order to get it out of our system and not because we're looking for a "fix".


But if you have a problem, why wouldn't you want to fix it? And if its not enough of a problem to fix, then why the fark do we need to talk about it all the gorram time?
2012-07-03 11:55:19 AM  
3 votes:

Death_Poot: robbiex0r: Savage Bacon: Woah! Gotta love the use of the ol' CAPS LOCK to get a point across. Really helps your argument, lady. I can feel your exasperation through your written word... Such angst!

One of the first thing I learned about relationships and the difference between men and women had to do with sympathizing vs. problem-solving. As a man, if I start talking to my male friends about an issue I'm having, it's pretty much advice solicitation on my part. If my gf comes to me with an issue, it's usually just to vent, so I let her vent. If she actually needs any advice, I wait for her to ask for it, because apparently giving advice really gets in the way of a good venting session.

Cannot be overstated. I still get trapped offering advice, when all I should be doing is listening. It's just so hard to watch someone suffer when the answer to their problems is so simple... Why wouldn't you want to help them?

I've heard this said before from my uncle (now sadly deceased), and believe me it works....

"I'm your husband, not your sponsor"............


This. Many women (not all, but probably most) want someone to sit there and listen to them biatch. They don't want solutions, because they (the women) have no intention of solving the "problem." It's either not actually a problem, just some personality conflict for which there is no real solution, or it's some situation in which the fault is almost entirely theirs but they refuse to acknowledge it, so they vent to someone who doesn't realize this and the offered solutions would not do any good because the complainer is leaving out information that would make her look bad.

Many women do not have the guts to confront someone directly or just come right out and say there's a problem. They just seeth about it and never actually resolve anything. Because to say anything out loud to a person you're having a problem with (at work, for example) would be "rude." It's not rude, however, to biatch about it to everyone else behind that person's back.

Women call this "communication." They seem to think they're better at it than men are. They're wrong. Not that they'll ever admit it.
2012-07-03 11:40:21 AM  
3 votes:

God Is My Co-Pirate: I'm not saying it's not crazy, but there you go.


In other words, "read our minds and do everything so we can be secretly mad at you when you get it wrong and unleash that anger at a later date."
2012-07-03 11:34:52 AM  
3 votes:

Christian Bale: This article just shows how men aren't allowed to have ANY complaints about women, otherwise you are a misogynist, and wrong. Only women can complain about men -- all men, in one big generalization -- and expect to be have their complaints not just taken seriously, but acknowledged as fact. And if you don't acknowledge those complaints? You're a misogynist, and wrong.


You need to discard your expectation that women are, by nature, capable of being consistently logical, rational, objective or fair.

There's no there there. It's emotion all the way down.

Once you fully accept this, you'll get along with women with much less conflict and frustration, and will likely eventually come to enjoy them.
Biv
2012-07-03 11:20:37 AM  
3 votes:

glass_ibis: FYI
When men get emotional their logic centers turn off - this is not so with women.


Okay, everyone point and laugh at Glassy.
2012-07-03 11:17:40 AM  
3 votes:

gamergirl23: The Singing Bush: gamergirl23: The Singing Bush: I think it's hilarious that she doesn't follow number 9. My wife is terrible about this -

Me: Where do you want to go to dinner?
Her: I don't know, I'm not sure what I want
Me: How about here, or here, or here, or here, or here?
Her: No, none of those sound good.
Me: Well what do you want?
Her: Why can't YOU make a decision?
Me - head asplode

This is why one should have a default food/drink/activity. If you don't care but someone really wants you to pick, you just pick that to politely prevent them from going insane.

Tried that - she'll come back with "but we just did that like 6 months ago"

I don't know. Have her keep a list of her favorite restaurants in the car with the dates you last visited them?


My rule: If you make me choose where to go, you shut up about where we're going.

Otherwise I'd be happy to work with you towards picking a place, but don't tell me to choose unless you're ready to shut up and eat some damn BBQ.
Biv
2012-07-03 11:17:00 AM  
3 votes:

susansto-helit: Silenced is foo: susansto-helit: I have to admit that #4 really pisses me off. I cannot control when I start crying, so don't accuse me of using it as a weapon when I do.

The problem isn't the crying, the problem is continuing to fight and demand that you get what you want when you cry. When one partner explains their needs by calmly asserting their importance while the other one explains their needs by sobbing and freaking out? The latter always wins. It's an emotional game of chicken.

If you need to cry, then cry. But while you're crying, decisions need to be off the table.

It's not deliberate, though. That's the thing. Crying is an involuntary response in some people. It's not designed to control the situation or to try to win an argument. It just is. Why are you guys incapable of just ignoring it and continuing with the conversation?


Because girls never just cry. Once tears start flowing the conversation turns emotional and nothing can be done. Time to shut down the conversation until you compose yourself.
2012-07-03 11:10:48 AM  
3 votes:

jylcat: Nogale: I think you probably choose not to. And even if you can't control the crying when it starts (trembling lips, teary eyes), you don't have to let it go. A lot of a crying jag is the willingness to give into it. Not a great tactic in an argument or discussion.

No. Seriously, sometimes you cannot control it. As an adult woman in the business world, this is something that's a real problem for me. I think a previous poster was right when they said that women aren't given an incentive to NOT cry as children so it can overtake you in the worst situations.


Look, if it wasn't clear from my previous post, I'm a woman. I cry sometimes, mostly alone, but when I cry in the presence of someone else it's usually on some level a conscious decision.

Can you train yourself to stifle a sneeze? A cough? A laugh? Can you control your bladder when you really, really have to pee until you get to a bathroom? Then you can learn to suppress your impulse to cry.
2012-07-03 11:05:56 AM  
3 votes:
2. "Your expectations are set by Hollywood and sky high."

They've been fed a fantasy about romance and passion for so long that when a REAL act of love comes down the pike, he notices that the tread on your tires is low and buys a new set, it hardly even registers.

SO SPECIFIC. IT'S ALL SO SPECIFIC. I'M SORRY YOU BOUGHT THAT UNGRATEFUL biatch SOME TIRES, OKAY? I'm willing to accept that it's mostly my fault she didn't like your tires, but how's about we call it bygones at this point?

This point, and the explanation included with it is 100% valid for a lot of women and many men as well.

The authors 'rebuttal' pretty much sums up why I think she's a moron.



As for the golf thing, again if she doesn't think this common she's a moron. Nothing bothers me more than trying to get a foursome together for golf and have to wait for the guys to ask permission from their wives or even worse have one bail at the last second because his wife is having an issue with him spending the morning with his friends. This applies to any activity that doesn't include the women. In all honestly this issue isn't the women's fault. This one lies at the feet of the pussy assholes they are married to or involved with.
2012-07-03 11:03:47 AM  
3 votes:
Badly written article is badly written. Actually, both of them, so you get a two-fer of crap. Very helpful.

And then we wonder why men and women don't "understand" each other.

It's because they don't want to. Expecting most people to be honest about what they do and why they do it is unrealistic. Most will blame everyone but themselves, or in the case of the sad sacks, blame themselves for everything after letting a colossal asshole crap all over them and then mope around and wonder why they can't find their soulmate.
2012-07-03 11:03:29 AM  
3 votes:

Savage Bacon: One of the first thing I learned about relationships and the difference between men and women had to do with sympathizing vs. problem-solving. As a man, if I start talking to my male friends about an issue I'm having, it's pretty much advice solicitation on my part. If my gf comes to me with an issue, it's usually just to vent, so I let her vent. If she actually needs any advice, I wait for her to ask for it, because apparently giving advice really gets in the way of a good venting session.


Pretty much this.

In the season premiere of "Louie" last week there was an awesome scene near the opening...

Basically he's waiting for his quasi-gf in a diner. She comes in and just starts non-stop biatching about her job. She hates this about her job, she hates that, this person is a jerk, this person is trying to cut her down, this person is trying to steal the credit, etc. etc. etc. just non stop.

Louie just casually responds "You should quit your job."

To which she just loses it "What? I should quit my job? What kind of a statement is that?! Fark you, you should quit your job!"

To which he just mumbles "I like my job."
2012-07-03 11:00:45 AM  
3 votes:
Overall, all these questions and all answers end up being application to both men and women.....

My take (as a man - towards women):

1. "You see us as projects you can 'fix.'"
- nope, never had that happen... I'm as good as it gets I guess (:-p)

2. "Your expectations are set by Hollywood and sky high."
- I've done over the top romantic things in my life, almost all women can't handle it and think men weird for going all out to be beyond nice, or expect it to be an act.... one woman had no issues with it... she's now my wife.

3. "You're always looking down the road."
- head games, learned to walk away from women that simply can't handle honesty and claim that they don't know their place or where they stand when I've always been honest and open about it.

4. "You use your emotions as a weapon."
- more head games, just walk away and one day she'll grow up.

5. "You have a tendency to be critical."
- I'm fine with receiving positive criticism, and I've grown and learned from it.

6. "You like to play coy."
- more head games.

7. "You fixate on what we're thinking, when you should be watching what we're doing."
- more head games, easily dealt with with a door opening and walking out through it. It's all about honesty again.

8. "You don't understand and/or like our need for alone time."
- wife has no issue with this at all, and we both do our "things".. some together, some on our own... it's all about maturity again.

9. "You have a complicated set of double standards."
- this applies to everyone and point of views, You can't avoid some conflict, but the ability to talk it out is essential.

10. "You want us to change, and then lose respect for us when we do."
-never had this issue, most times, the women's insecurities would stand out and they wanted to either change themselves to keep up or get to "my" level, most times it just was a question that it's just wouldn't work out. But in some ways, this does happen, but at varying levels, depending on the relationship.


So overall, all these are about maturity.
2012-07-03 10:59:39 AM  
3 votes:
Missing is the classic "When did this start happening" redirection. i.e.

Man: XyZ is bothering me, can we talk about it?
Woman: When did this start being a problem?
Man: Not sure, a while, ago, but it needs to be addressed.
Woman: Why didn't you tell me before, before it became a problem?

...and then the conversation is no longer about the issue that *I* brought up, which never gets resolved.
2012-07-03 10:51:18 AM  
3 votes:

padraig: I had never seen such contempt for a whole gender before in my life.


You don't get out much do you? This is generally the message of TV, movies, popular culture in general. Watch "Miss Representation" sometime to get an idea of how pervasive it is.
2012-07-03 10:49:54 AM  
3 votes:
hire a maid and a hooker. throwing money at them make them and all those problems go away.
2012-07-03 10:49:42 AM  
3 votes:

IrateShadow: padraig: I once read a book that was supposed to explain women to men. In the middle of treating men live barely functionnal children that avoid responsibility like the plague, don't wash and only think about video games (those points were made several times, incessantly, during the entire book), the book answered each criticisms of women by men by "yeah, so what ? Deal with it, you farking child".

I had never seen such contempt for a whole gender before in my life.
This article comes pretty close.

Meh, the women who think like that are really easy to deal with. Dump 'em and try a different one.


Yeah. Thankfully, most women aren't like Lindy West.
2012-07-03 10:33:14 AM  
3 votes:
biatch start crying, she gets slapped. hard.
2012-07-03 10:29:02 AM  
3 votes:
I have to admit that #4 really pisses me off. I cannot control when I start crying, so don't accuse me of using it as a weapon when I do.
2012-07-03 03:10:28 PM  
2 votes:
Your nugget of wisdom for the day:

Upon starting a new relationship men will explain who they are and tell the truth. Women will say this is ok, and lie.
2012-07-03 02:51:19 PM  
2 votes:

Nogale: [farm8.staticflickr.com image 480x340]


No, that's exactly why men should write advice columns: The car can be fixed.

The marriage is dead.
There's nothing Sheila can do about the cheating bastard except divorce him and move on, and she already knows that.

/John should have asked whether Sheila had remembered to fuel the car first, though.
2012-07-03 02:31:38 PM  
2 votes:

fortheloveofgod: The problem that you are missing is that when the man does make the decision she rejects it, and then refuses to provide an alternative. It's been pointed out repeatedly in this thread.


I'm not missing anything.

The men who find themselves in this situation expect the woman to offer an alternative dinner option because they assume that the conversation is actually about where to go for dinner. They assume the man and the woman are equals and peers, and are discussing their choices rationally and logically, and both are equally responsible for their lives.

That's all wrong.

The conversation (as with ALL conversations between men and women) is ACTUALLY about defining and exhibiting the terms of their relationship.

By making him pick, then rejecting his choice, then refusing to suggest an alternative is her way of communicating something important.

It communicates that he's FAILING to ASSURE her that he's COMPETENT to make the choices that benefit both of them.

She's CHALLENGING his AUTHORITY and COMPETENCE. She's communicating a lack of CONFIDENCE is him, or maybe doubting his level of commitment to her, or maybe feeling a lack of excitement and interest in him sexually.

Talking about dinner is just a proxy and pretext for talking about the nature of their relationship -- what she thinks of you, what she believes you think of her, what she wants from you, and what she thinks you want from her, etc.

Until you realize that, you're going to go round and round like a dog chasing its tail. You keep missing the point, which is why the problem keeps recurring and getting worse.
2012-07-03 01:35:50 PM  
2 votes:

susansto-helit: I have to admit that #4 really pisses me off. I cannot control when I start crying, so don't accuse me of using it as a weapon when I do.


because you're not like every other woman who will leap grand obstacles to make her man show emotion then rip your man apart in front of MIL and friends because he shared. few men ever displayed emotion in front of a woman without fully regretting having done so. because deep down inside you are all cold vicious biatches that are never happy. seeing where america stands today we can understand why you had such limited privileges in the past. too bad that changed.
2012-07-03 01:30:18 PM  
2 votes:

Lando Lincoln: Phinn: Try making plans to go somewhere without consulting her. Does the captain of a Navy ship ask his lieutenant where to point the ship? No, he makes decisions, for the benefit of everyone, and expects them to be followed. He may ask for input, but in doing so always communicates that the choice is his.

Military metaphors always work great when talking about interacting with women.


So says the man who would rather than be right than happy.

You don't have to rub the woman's nose in it. A leader who is confident and secure in his authority doesn't need to constantly remind his subordinates he's in charge. He doesn't talk about being in charge, because he doesn't need to; he just lives it. In fact, talking about it is a sign that your authority is weak or threatened. You may think you're asserting your authority when you discuss it, but you are actually showing that you don't have it.

So, you don't tell a women you're in charge, and you certainly don't tell her you're the captain and she's the first mate. You just act like it. But keep it all inside.
2012-07-03 01:29:52 PM  
2 votes:

susansto-helit: In your opinion it's a waste of time. Clearly it's not to her or you wouldn't be hearing about it.


So, basically women as a gender get to decide what we need to care about.

susansto-helit: You have to listen to your boss blathering endlessly about his weekend, or you have to have to patiently listen to someone telling you their problems while waiting in line at the bank or any other location where it would be socially impolite to tell these people to fark off.


No, I live in NYC, where people don't talk to each other because it's moronic to expect a perfect stranger to listen to any of your bullshiat. And I don't know about your boss, but mine isn't interested in small talk like that. Usually the response to "how was your weekend?" is "fine, yours?" and that's the end of it.

susansto-helit: You have to listen to your grandmother tell that story about the Great Depression for the 40th time at Thanksgiving. But the person you've chosen to spend your life with doesn't get that courtesy.


I saw my grandmother a few times per year, not every single day.

susansto-helit: I work as a secretary. A large part of my job is doing just that - listening to people's problems. I'm the first person who is yelled at and I'm the first person who must offer sympathy for a bad situation, even if there's nothing to be done about it. I'm the first person to listen to anyone's back story, even if there's nothing I can do for them and all I can do is transfer them to the person who can help. It's what I do. And it's not hard. It's sometimes boring and sometimes annoying, but I consider it to be part of being human, a social species that relies on other people to be a sounding board or to be a sympathetic ear when it's required. I'd certainly not think twice about doing it for my spouse, the person that I've chosen to love and support.


Everyone's job sucks. The only feedback I ever get in mine is negative, despite being quite good at what I do. That's the nature of jobs, they suck. The difference is that once I leave mine for the day, I stop worrying about things I have no control over until the following morning. Going on and on about every last thing bothering me is a pointless endeavor. The last thing I want to do at the end of my own shiatty day is hear about someone else's.
2012-07-03 01:24:54 PM  
2 votes:

susansto-helit: It's not deliberate, though. That's the thing. Crying is an involuntary response in some people. It's not designed to control the situation or to try to win an argument. It just is. Why are you guys incapable of just ignoring it and continuing with the conversation?


Because a conversation with someone who is currently ruled by their emotions isn't productive. If you are thinking emotionally instead of logically, you are not presently equipped to listen to and process the other person's point of view.

This is not gender-specific, either. It applies equally to both sexes. If one of both of you are too emotional, take a break to cool down, and resume the conversation after you have composed yourself.
2012-07-03 01:10:24 PM  
2 votes:

fortheloveofgod: The Singing Bush: I think it's hilarious that she doesn't follow number 9. My wife is terrible about this -

Me: Where do you want to go to dinner?
Her: I don't know, I'm not sure what I want
Me: How about here, or here, or here, or here, or here?
Her: No, none of those sound good.
Me: Well what do you want?
Her: Why can't YOU make a decision?
Me - head asplode

I go through that exact routine every time we go out to dinner. It's beyond frustrating.


Try this: instead of saying "how about this, this or this?" say "do you want to go here, or there?" Then - STFU. Ball is in her court now. Say nothing 'til she picks. She may pick a third option, but she's picked one. Bonus: you get to look all alpha for forcing a resolution without demanding she simply do as she's told. It will work, if you do it with some backbone but without being a jerk.
2012-07-03 01:07:03 PM  
2 votes:

Slayinit: [www.worldcompass.org image 300x321]

Someone, somewhere, would consider pleasuring this creature. Which one of you farkers is man enough?


The sad thing is is that her looks are the most attractive part about her.
2012-07-03 01:04:55 PM  
2 votes:

Phinn: She comes in colors everywhere: If this is true for a given relationship, then the woman who is playing games around something as simple as "where dinner?" deserves to dine alone for the rest of her sad life.

I'll have the hummus plate appetizer and the scallops, please.

It's not a game to her. It's her genetic programming. It's what nature designed her to do -- find a male who will give her children kick-ass genes, and find a man who will stick with her and provider her with resources for life. She is constantly locked in a struggle with these two competing biological pressures.

She actually wants you to be both.

"Make good decisions for us" is just her way of testing you, to see if you are. Don't take it personally.


This entire thread is evidence for my assertion that catering to the female mindset just isn't worth all the complications.

I have never entered into a relationship with a woman thinking, "Gee, what I want out of life is to be tested and measured for the rest of my life."
2012-07-03 12:52:05 PM  
2 votes:
Well...I'll be in my bunker. Let me know when the gender wars are over.


My 2 bits: I married my best friend. When she annoys me, I tell her. I just tell her to shut her trap and she gets it. When I annoy her, she does the same. If you can't talk this kind of crap mentioned in this article out with someone, don't marry em.

I mean it. If she's not your best friend (that you also happen to fark a lot) , I can't see how it can possibly work.
2012-07-03 12:51:35 PM  
2 votes:

freewill: When you ask me what I'm thinking, I'm thinking about paying my bills, six different problems at work, whether I should be looking for another job, when I should ask for a raise, where I'm taking you on vacation, where I'm taking you to dinner tonight, your boobs, the boobs of the girl in the next car, whether or not my cell phone is charged, how much longer I can get by with my current office chair before I need to replace it, whether or not I've actually seen every episode of my favorite television show, if I'm ever going to get to see my favorite band in concert again, your boobs, my ex-girlfriend's boobs, what it would be like if I had been a samurai, whether or not I'm on track to retirement, whether or not you're going to say yes if I propose, whether or not we should get a cat, and boobs as a general concept.


When a woman asks you what you're thinking, the typical male response is to think that she is soliciting an exchange of information.

This is wrong. Women almost never talk to exchange information. Information is a male concept. In female conversations, the exchange of information comprises about 0.3% of what is discussed, and lasts about 2-3 words.

The rest of what women use language for has NOTHING to do with the exchange of information. Almost everything women talk about is devoted to defining the nature of your relationship with her.

It's safe if you simply assume that your relationship is the true topic of EVERY conversation (regardless of what the topic may appear to be on the surface).

Everything a woman says can be easily translated, once you understand this.

"What are you thinking?" means "I am feeling emotionally disconnected from you, and am worried that you are insufficiently devoted to and interested in me."

"Where should we go to dinner?" means "You need to take charge more often."

"I'm too tired" means "I want you to sexually excite me more than you have lately."

"Your expectations are set by Hollywood and sky high." means "I'm going to let myself go because you probably can't replace me with someone better."

It's easy, once you drop the expectation that women think and act like men.
2012-07-03 12:39:59 PM  
2 votes:

Phinn: Try making plans to go somewhere without consulting her. Does the captain of a Navy ship ask his lieutenant where to point the ship? No, he makes decisions, for the benefit of everyone, and expects them to be followed. He may ask for input, but in doing so always communicates that the choice is his.


Military metaphors always work great when talking about interacting with women.
2012-07-03 12:09:15 PM  
2 votes:

Nana's Vibrator: Yanks_RSJ:
It must be. One of my exes was having an issue with her boss that essentially came down to her "being mean" or some crap like that. Every day I got to hear a complete rundown of what her boss did to her, and every day I said, "you should go talk to her" or something to that effect.

Finally, I got fed up with it and just said, "look, I'm not one of your girlfriends, if you don't actually want my advice, don't come to me with the same problem every single day when you haven't once attempted my suggested solution. Be an adult and talk to your boss or leave me out of it."

Of course that brought on the waterworks and a 3-hour fight about how I'm a jerk who can't be sympathetic. Which I guess was true, we don't have that instinct, at least not when there's a logical solution to a pitiful "problem".

What I don't get is the insistence of re-narrating the entirety of events while we were apart. When she asks how my day was, I say "OK" and move on unless it involved something on par with someone being fired or taken away in an ambulance.
Why the hell would anyone want to relive their work day...ESPECIALLY if it sucked so badly? And why is it not taken as a hint when I don't elaborate on my daily garbage that since I don't want to hear myself talk about highlights from my own day, why would I want to hear about each of the 600 minutes we were apart?


Many women have been trained (by other females and self-help books and talk shows) to believe that if you don't talk about every little thing, you're not communicating. Many seem to believe that if you leave anything unsaid/unexpressed, any thought, any emotion, any interaction, you're closed off emotionally or somesuch therapyspeak bullshiat. Many women, in fact, think of themselves as semi-expert therapists. They constantly solicit "problems" that they are convinced they can solve, and if you don't give them something, they think you're holding back just to spite them. It doesn't seem to occur to them that not everybody wants to wallow in misery and dysfunction, that some people deal with problems (esp. problems that can't necessarily be fixed, like work issues) by trying to forget them for awhile. They think constantly talking about something is doing some sort of good. It doesn't occur to them (because some of them are very slow) that fixating on problems doesn't = solving problems. And then they wonder (again, because they're slow) why women report being depressed more often than men. These women are convinced their way is healthier, all evidence to the contrary.
2012-07-03 12:05:54 PM  
2 votes:
Get the author some Midol... stat.
2012-07-03 12:02:34 PM  
2 votes:
Except for women, of course, who need to change the ten things in this list IMMEDIATELY or risk never being on the receiving end of Grant Langston, Sr Director, Content's directed content ever again.

Like in the sarcasm above, women turn things personal, and attack the speaker personally so quickly when he says something they don't like. Argue the issue? No, attack the man personally, all while pretending that they're trying to argue the issue. Men do the same thing--attack the speaker, call her fat or ugly -- but no one takes that seriously as an argument, just as what it is, idiocy. Yet women are allowed to say "good luck ever getting a date with that attitude" and people are supposed to say "yeah, no kidding" rather than "what the hell does that have to do with the merits of the issue?"
2012-07-03 11:59:48 AM  
2 votes:

padraig: Okay, just for the fun of it, but : has any man here ever tried to turn the tables on their s.o. .? By that, I mean rant endlessly about your own problem of the day, not letting her a word in edgewise, and getting offended if she offers a suggestion ?


Towards the end of my marriage, I did change tactics on the constant barrage of arguments. I simply gave in. Told her she was right. Conceded that I'd been selfish or bullheaded or simply hadn't thought enough ahead.

This wasn't what she wanted to hear in the least. If anything, that only fired her up more.

Because she wasn't looking to be right. She was looking for an excuse to end the marriage. If anything, my conceding her points, it only made her angrier, because she had to take further steps to justify ending things. Which, we finally got to, and THEN we had more rational discussions on how to end things properly.

She needed to be a victim. She had to be victim, because otherwise, she'd have to admit that she was looking to end the marriage, and that would mean that somewhere up the line, she'd failed. That was an ugly realization, and that didn't come for years after we split--and in the midst of all that, I found myself at the end of all sorts of accusations.

We had always argued. We prided ourselves on calling each other on our bullsh*t. She got to a point, where she didn't want to be called on it. She got to a point where she just wanted to have her way, all the time, even if it was selfish, even if it was foolish, even if it was wasteful, and even if it cost us friends.

The marriage died for more reasons than that. In the end, she HAD to be right for her world to work. Even if she was in the wrong, she HAD to be right. She needed to be a victim, and justified, and if that meant making things up to supply those reasons, then that was fine. It took years for folks to realize that I wasn't abusive. It took years for folks who knew us to realize that half of what she told them were the reasons for the split weren't remotely true. She NEEDED to be a "strong woman standing up for herself" even though I supported her business, I bought her cars, I paid for her insurance, I paid for her medical, and had a great job with people that loved her. It wasn't enough, because she needed to be climbing over adversity, and if there wasn't adversity to climb over, she made it.

I did get tired of that. And in the end, I gave in. I let her rant and rave and by not fighting back, that only forced her hand further. Without an excuse, she simply made them up. And THAT gave her the outward justification to end things, so that she could preserve her image to folks outside. And THAT was perhaps the real reason that we had to split. She was far more interested in her place as a "strong woman" than being in marriage with someone who loved her. Supporting her was a crutch she didn't want--it undermined her even. She loved the illusion far more than the reality, and that was the final straw.

I'm a bit more careful with the girl folk now. Current one is younger, but she requires an honesty that is absolute and total, and that means cutting through a lot of illusion, not supporting it. I had my own issues in the marriage to be sure, and I cop to them readily, but no more will I support someone's image over the relationship.
2012-07-03 11:57:56 AM  
2 votes:

Jixa: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 640x853]
I'm surprised this wasn't on the list.

I'm out numbered 3-1 at home, so this is a re-occurring issue.

/married peoples' problems


I have my own bathroom but if not, I'd put both the lid and the seat down.
That way, we're both inconvenienced.
2012-07-03 11:56:45 AM  
2 votes:
I think a lot of the problems between men and women stem from the fact that women secretly hate all other women. They play mind games with each other so much growing up that when it comes time to deal with a man they have no FARKING clue why he doesn't like to play mind games too.
2012-07-03 11:56:28 AM  
2 votes:

hubiestubert: miss diminutive: Christian Bale: This article just shows how men aren't allowed to have ANY complaints about women, otherwise you are a misogynist, and wrong. Only women can complain about men -- all men, in one big generalization -- and expect to be have their complaints not just taken seriously, but acknowledged as fact. And if you don't acknowledge those complaints? You're a misogynist, and wrong.

Yes.

And?

Luckily, I've been married before. I'm used to being wrong 100% of the time, and soldiering on.


That's why I'm not married anymore. I'd rather be right than married.
Biv
2012-07-03 11:53:46 AM  
2 votes:

Nately's Whore: Savage Bacon: Woah! Gotta love the use of the ol' CAPS LOCK to get a point across. Really helps your argument, lady. I can feel your exasperation through your written word... Such angst!

One of the first thing I learned about relationships and the difference between men and women had to do with sympathizing vs. problem-solving. As a man, if I start talking to my male friends about an issue I'm having, it's pretty much advice solicitation on my part. If my gf comes to me with an issue, it's usually just to vent, so I let her vent. If she actually needs any advice, I wait for her to ask for it, because apparently giving advice really gets in the way of a good venting session.

There are female problem-solvers, and male sympathizers. I (an engineer) dated a very emotional artist for a stint. He always had issues. Always. And I'd make suggestions that would either go no where or turn into excuses as to why they wouldn't work. When I stopped offering advice, suddenly I didn't care about his problems (which to me weren't problems).

That said, anyone who says "all males are like this" or "all females are like this" (except for the penis and vagina part) get what they deserve.


I believe the phrase is "the exception proves the rule."
2012-07-03 11:53:10 AM  
2 votes:
Every ounce of social stress and drama myself or any man I know has had to cope with has had a woman at its core, a woman who was driving the drama, generating it, and perpetuating it.

I swear it really IS why men die earlier than women.

They really aren't worth the trouble. Our genetic imperative is sex, and that's really about as far as it should go. Anything more eventually shortens our lives and occasionally makes one of us homicidal.

Perhaps when they evolve the ability to take things in stride instead of making every stray thought or fear an emotional obsession the risk will be worth the reward.
2012-07-03 11:42:06 AM  
2 votes:

Jument: The one lesson I've learned is that wimmin sometimes just want to rant angrily at you and that when you do you MUST appear to listen and make sympathetic noises. You MUST NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES explain how to fix the problem. EVER. Not even if she appears to be asking you


Yeah. I will absolutely never understand why I have to appear to be listening. It's like, if you don't want my opinion, and just want to say stuff out loud, you can do that by yourself easily enough. I do it all the time.
They're just playing out some sadistic need to pass their suffering on to you because they know how much it frustrates you to have a solution to a problem but be prevented from implementing it. The joy they derive from your broken will makes them forget about whatever BS they were whining about.
Biv
2012-07-03 11:39:31 AM  
2 votes:
What women say: You need to communicate better

What they mean: You need to sit there and listen to me incessantly go on and on about inane bullshiat and biatch about a million people you don't know and will never meet while not actually participating in the conversation but being sure to pay enough attention to nod in the right places and not be able to watch tv...till me shows are on, that is. Ooooooooo....Dancing with the Stars is on!!!!
2012-07-03 11:36:33 AM  
2 votes:

NorKnOAd: I read most of the article (only made it to 7) and said... wow, this is a lot of venting from some angry woman. Scrolled up and sure enough the author was a woman. Thankfully all women aren't like this one!


THIS. Think she's got issues that only a therapist can deal with.
2012-07-03 11:34:42 AM  
2 votes:

Nana's Vibrator: Problem solving or just listening to venting, I can't figure out the difference. I don't bother either way. Whether it's venting or not, she's going to recap her entire day to you. If you listen, you know every one of her work tasks and every one of her coworkers' names and all the family goings on. It can't be a coincidence that I've only dated women who do this. It's universal right?


It must be. One of my exes was having an issue with her boss that essentially came down to her "being mean" or some crap like that. Every day I got to hear a complete rundown of what her boss did to her, and every day I said, "you should go talk to her" or something to that effect.

Finally, I got fed up with it and just said, "look, I'm not one of your girlfriends, if you don't actually want my advice, don't come to me with the same problem every single day when you haven't once attempted my suggested solution. Be an adult and talk to your boss or leave me out of it."

Of course that brought on the waterworks and a 3-hour fight about how I'm a jerk who can't be sympathetic. Which I guess was true, we don't have that instinct, at least not when there's a logical solution to a pitiful "problem".
2012-07-03 11:34:21 AM  
2 votes:

WhippingBoy: Savage Bacon: Woah! Gotta love the use of the ol' CAPS LOCK to get a point across. Really helps your argument, lady. I can feel your exasperation through your written word... Such angst!

One of the first thing I learned about relationships and the difference between men and women had to do with sympathizing vs. problem-solving. As a man, if I start talking to my male friends about an issue I'm having, it's pretty much advice solicitation on my part. If my gf comes to me with an issue, it's usually just to vent, so I let her vent. If she actually needs any advice, I wait for her to ask for it, because apparently giving advice really gets in the way of a good venting session.

Yep. Took me 10 years to learn this. Confused the hell out of me. My wife would come to me, complaining about some relatively minor thing. I'd present her with a logical, clear-cut solution that would be guaranteed to solve her problem, and she would just get angry at me.


Exactly! Took me 5 years into my marriage to learn that. 5 years of hearing about the "communication problems" that I had. Finally after all that time she came right out and told me "I don't want to hear the solution to my problem, I just want you to listen!". I was like, "Oh, I can do that". Now it's just nod and agree. Been married 30 years now and haven't had the communication problem argument since! I don't get it (why wouldn't you want to hear how to resolve your problem?) but hey, whatever . . .
2012-07-03 11:25:16 AM  
2 votes:

Hack Patooey: Missing is the classic "When did this start happening" redirection. i.e.

Man: XyZ is bothering me, can we talk about it?
Woman: When did this start being a problem?
Man: Not sure, a while, ago, but it needs to be addressed.
Woman: Why didn't you tell me before, before it became a problem?

...and then the conversation is no longer about the issue that *I* brought up, which never gets resolved.


Posts like these make me wonder why any male would want a woman in the first place. Seriously, why the fark would you bring up something that is not a problem?

Woman: I need to fix the car
Man: What is broken
Woman: Nothing is broken
Man: ???????
Biv
2012-07-03 11:21:54 AM  
2 votes:

mightybaldking: Egoy3k: As for the golf thing, again if she doesn't think this common she's a moron. Nothing bothers me more than trying to get a foursome together for golf and have to wait for the guys to ask permission from their wives or even worse have one bail at the last second because his wife is having an issue with him spending the morning with his friends. This applies to any activity that doesn't include the women. In all honestly this issue isn't the women's fault. This one lies at the feet of the pussy assholes they are married to or involved with.

I'm sympathetic to the anti-golf attitude women have. A full round of golf is 6-8 hours all in including transportation time and warm up and "cool down". That's half the weekend. It's not like you're going out to play hockey or baseball for an hour or so. It's an entire day.


Yes, because you want to get away for the entire day.
2012-07-03 11:20:19 AM  
2 votes:

padraig: Strategeryz0r: 8. "You don't understand and/or like our need for alone time."

With, again literally, every girl I've ever been with my alone time is often time used to perfect my DJ'ing. Which is something I use as a bit of a side business for extra income.

I'm a very lucky man in that my s.o. does not fit most of those stereotypes (she sure do love to talk about her day, but that remains at a sane level), but the greatest thing about her is that WE BOTH NEED ALONE TIME.

So yeah, I can spend a few hours on my novel, videogames, reading a book or webbrowsing, because at the same time, she's either playing the guitar, solitaire, videogames or reading a book.


I envy you sir. I try to get alone time and if they aren't complaining that I'm acting "weird" by wanting to be alone, they're saying "well what do I do? I have nothing!"

I'm sorry.. is it suddenly my fault you have no hobbies or aspirations in life? No.. Maybe you should find some.. You know.. With your alone time?
2012-07-03 11:19:13 AM  
2 votes:

susansto-helit: It's not deliberate, though. That's the thing. Crying is an involuntary response in some people. It's not designed to control the situation or to try to win an argument. It just is. Why are you guys incapable of just ignoring it and continuing with the conversation?


I don't know, why can't women recognize the difference between a frustration-inspired raised voice and "yelling"?
2012-07-03 11:17:42 AM  
2 votes:

ha-ha-guy: WhippingBoy: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.

You know why there are so many hard-core "feminists" on Fark instead of sites like "Feministe" or "Feministing"?
Because in spite of all the misogynistic, body-shaming, slut-shaming, ableist, sexist, classist, racist comments by white, cis-gendered males, it STILL beats the hell out of listening to other "feminists" use every means necessary to rationalize their failures in life.

Bet you an internet we're both on ignore after the Shanghai subway thread.

/actually I should have her on ignore after it


I'm pretty sure the "ignore" list is an empty threat. These types of people specifically flock to threads like this one in order to "confirm" their misandry. It's unlikely that they would purposely ignore people who validate their bigotry.
2012-07-03 11:15:34 AM  
2 votes:

Egoy3k: 2. "Your expectations are set by Hollywood and sky high."

They've been fed a fantasy about romance and passion for so long that when a REAL act of love comes down the pike, he notices that the tread on your tires is low and buys a new set, it hardly even registers.

SO SPECIFIC. IT'S ALL SO SPECIFIC. I'M SORRY YOU BOUGHT THAT UNGRATEFUL biatch SOME TIRES, OKAY? I'm willing to accept that it's mostly my fault she didn't like your tires, but how's about we call it bygones at this point?

This point, and the explanation included with it is 100% valid for a lot of women and many men as well.

The authors 'rebuttal' pretty much sums up why I think she's a moron.



As for the golf thing, again if she doesn't think this common she's a moron. Nothing bothers me more than trying to get a foursome together for golf and have to wait for the guys to ask permission from their wives or even worse have one bail at the last second because his wife is having an issue with him spending the morning with his friends. This applies to any activity that doesn't include the women. In all honestly this issue isn't the women's fault. This one lies at the feet of the pussy assholes they are married to or involved with.


Nothing wrong with checking with the misses to make sure you don't have plans, but the cancel one is always frustrating.
2012-07-03 11:10:31 AM  
2 votes:
#5 Tendency to be critical

OH FARK yeah. Especially once they poop out a crotch-dropping, they feel like they are experts on everything and let the nagging and criticism incessantly fly. And they vote, as well.

Also, the chick's responses to the list are lame, lame, lame. That's the best she could come up with? Sounds like some sexless hen engaging in some premenstrual WRITER RAGE.
2012-07-03 11:09:00 AM  
2 votes:
9. "You have a complicated set of double standards."

yes, yes, yes, MORE YES! My wife does shiat like this ALL THE farkING TIME and it drives me batshiat crazy.

She gets waited on hand and foot after coming home from work, yet if she's been off for.. oh I dunno. FIVE CONSECUTIVE DAYS. And I want a brief reprieve from running around getting her shiat for her, since.. you know.. I WORK TOO, and am the primary breadwinner(she could lose her job, we'd be out a couple hundred bucks a month essentially) and suddenly I'm a selfish asshole who doesn't love her? fark you. I want to be able to relax a little too. Crap like this happens all the time, and has happened with every woman I've ever been with. Not to make some blatantly inflammatory statement(really I'm not trolling, i'd rather figure out why this is than biatch about it), but it's a simple trend I've noticed that I can honest to god apply to every chick I've ever dated. It's frightening how, when you point it out to them, they just act like this is the norm.


8. "You don't understand and/or like our need for alone time."

With, again literally, every girl I've ever been with my alone time is often time used to perfect my DJ'ing. Which is something I use as a bit of a side business for extra income.

Unfortunately I've never been able to replicate being single, as that's when I've always been at the top of my game. Why? Because every girl I've ever dated constantly keeps coming in while I'm working, interrupting my flow, and constantly asking me if something is wrong because I dared to spend 20 minutes in a room apart from them. Again, not trying to make a blatant inflammatory statement, this is just something that truly does apply to every woman I've ever dated.



Honestly those are the 2 points from the original article I pretty much completely agree with based on my own personal experience. YMMV, as all women are not the same. And I freely admit, I attract the crazies for some bizarre-o reason. But I really truly mean it when I say those 2 points apply to EVERY SINGLE WOMAN I HAVE EVER DATED, my wife is also included in this. Especially #8. My wife, when we first met, said alone time was something she felt was important. Yet every time I try to take advantage of some alone time to put in some work, she assumes something is wrong and has to constantly bother me.... Even when I've pointed out DOZENS of times that she's freaking out over absolutely nothing.
2012-07-03 11:05:32 AM  
2 votes:

Nogale: susansto-helit: I have to admit that #4 really pisses me off. I cannot control when I start crying, so don't accuse me of using it as a weapon when I do.

I think you probably choose not to. And even if you can't control the crying when it starts (trembling lips, teary eyes), you don't have to let it go. A lot of a crying jag is the willingness to give into it. Not a great tactic in an argument or discussion.


yup, the minute that an argument turns away from the issue and to the emotion, it's time for both sides to take a break.

Mature, non codependent couples will have this agreed to (at least mostly) beforehand.......

My ex was bad about this.....she'd get upset and after that, I was the "asshole". Never mind about what the initial point of contention was and how it needed to be worked out, the minute the emotion got going, I was at fault no matter what. One of the reasons why she's my ex (apart from the bipolar and addiction issues).

Second wife? She doesn't pull that bullshiat. We disagree about stuff, but we also debate/argue in a sane manner.
2012-07-03 11:04:57 AM  
2 votes:
She sounds fat.
2012-07-03 11:03:17 AM  
2 votes:

serial_crusher: Anyhow, the original list is dumb and the responses are even dumber.


This, So much this. The list is basically the same stereotypical list that has been around forever. The responses just go to try to prove 5 and 9 right. Seriously?
2012-07-03 11:02:05 AM  
2 votes:

tricycleracer: "You want us to change, and then lose respect for us when we do."

Well, you do get the whole "OMG firefighters are teh sexy" followed by "Please stop running into burning buildings, baby. It's dangerous and I don't want to lose you."

And then she goes and bangs a racecar driver.



I seem to recall an article many years back that measured female sexual attraction. It basically said that when they're fertile, they want to bang the racecar drive, and come home to the accountant.
2012-07-03 10:59:45 AM  
2 votes:

susansto-helit: I have to admit that #4 really pisses me off. I cannot control when I start crying, so don't accuse me of using it as a weapon when I do.


I think you probably choose not to. And even if you can't control the crying when it starts (trembling lips, teary eyes), you don't have to let it go. A lot of a crying jag is the willingness to give into it. Not a great tactic in an argument or discussion.
2012-07-03 10:55:42 AM  
2 votes:
Both articles were written by morons and neither one deserved a place on this hellhole.
2012-07-03 10:49:23 AM  
2 votes:

serial_crusher: "You see us as projects you can 'fix.'"

I generally see women as projects that I can't fix. Can't suggest a goddamned solution to her petty drama problems without getting an earful about how insensitive I'm being. Just gotta nod and agree. "Oh, that's nice dear. Yes, everyone in your office is out to get you. I completely agree."

Anyhow, the original list is dumb and the responses are even dumber.


I always viewed finding a wife as finding a woman that required minimal biting of my tongue. I've been married for over two decades and she isn't a project I can fix. At best I know a few methods to distract her before she gets up to full speed on some of her rants. She can hold a grudge like no other. I just don't get it, why even waste brain cells thinking about half that petty bullshiat...
2012-07-03 10:49:22 AM  
2 votes:
Quit trying to get into a relationship with me when all I want to do is have sexy time!!
2012-07-03 10:48:49 AM  
2 votes:
One thats always bugged me is that most women who like to biatch and moan about how guys are so picky about looks (weight mainly) but most women strait up will not go out with a Red headed man. If you wanna biatch about us not farking fatties you need to go fark a ginger.
2012-07-03 10:47:41 AM  
2 votes:
www.dreamwidth.orgreplays.plwww.dreamwidth.orgreplays.plwww.dreamwidth.org

Ohhhhhh boy.
2012-07-03 10:47:19 AM  
2 votes:

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.


something inflammatory
2012-07-03 10:34:03 AM  
2 votes:
I agree. Maybe. Hang on, I'll see what the wife thinks........
2012-07-03 07:40:48 PM  
1 votes:
How has this thread gone on this long without a demand for sandwiches to be made? Fark must be changing.

/I respect women.
//But not the woman who wrote this article.
///She clearly wants to just whine about the complaints rather than take them seriously.
2012-07-03 06:59:27 PM  
1 votes:
Also missing from the thread (I think):

Me: (legitimately angry over something my wife has done)
Me: Why did you do this? You know (it would make me angry), (we decided not to), (couldn't afford it).
SWMBO: (convoluted woman logic and possible tears)
Me: (realizes she is now mad at me for getting mad at her)

I have no idea how this works. I have no idea how I don't see it coming. I have no idea how or why I let it happen. Probably the tears. I am starting to think men are not allowed to be mad at women.

I know it's been used in someone's comedy shtick, but it happens to me. Every. Single. Time. This is why I learned years ago to say "nothing" in response to "What's wrong?"
2012-07-03 05:55:20 PM  
1 votes:

glass_ibis: FYI
When men get emotional their logic centers turn off - this is not so with women.

Women's brains allow them to be crying their eyes out and still be as logical as they normally are.
Don't mistake crying for irrationality (unless they are normally irrational - but if that's the case you have bigger problems).


Okay, Then. Look at tit this way. When you start crying we get emotional. Therefore the conversation needs to stop until you can compose yourself.
2012-07-03 05:05:03 PM  
1 votes:

freewill: seadoo2006: My favorite dumb biatch story:

My ex, after breaking up with me, was dumbfounded that I didn't want to have anything to do with her or my ex-best friend after they decided to get together. Her explanation was that it was my friend I should be mad at because he asked her out ... as if "No" was no longer a viable answer. She didn't quite "get" the fact that she had a choice in the matter ...

Meh, whatever, she's the scum of the sea ... it only makes me laugh everytime I hear another one of her relationships fails miserably.

I've run into quite a few women who are utterly unaware that they have moral agency.

You run from that shiat. You run like you're being chased by the VC.


Accountability. If she doesn't believe in it, she isn't worth the risk. Same risk if genders are reversed.
2012-07-03 04:59:50 PM  
1 votes:

seadoo2006: My favorite dumb biatch story:

My ex, after breaking up with me, was dumbfounded that I didn't want to have anything to do with her or my ex-best friend after they decided to get together. Her explanation was that it was my friend I should be mad at because he asked her out ... as if "No" was no longer a viable answer. She didn't quite "get" the fact that she had a choice in the matter ...

Meh, whatever, she's the scum of the sea ... it only makes me laugh everytime I hear another one of her relationships fails miserably.


I've run into quite a few women who are utterly unaware that they have moral agency.

You run from that shiat. You run like you're being chased by the VC.
2012-07-03 04:43:08 PM  
1 votes:

Strategeryz0r: I can see what you mean about it being difficult to equate her as a friend to me. But reality is she really is. I've never found anyone else that I actually can just stay home and have a good time with more often than not. I don't want to lose her, I just want the her I met back


I speak from experience here......I'm not sure you know what a real friend is. If she was, she's gone now........

I felt the exact way as I was filing for divorce from my ex after 15 years of marriage. I thought I was losing everything and that she was my best friend as well.

Turns out I had no idea what it meant to have a best friend for a loving spouse. You need to change your perspective. Try to salvage the relationship if you must, but the question is when are you tired of being in a codependent relationship and when are you tired of being used.

Oh, and she's probably farking someone else too....mine was.

/gained my self respect back and found a far better relationship
2012-07-03 03:38:48 PM  
1 votes:
the other reason she will refuse to tell you where she wants to eat
is that instead of just telling you where she wants to eat (like a man friend would do)
she wants you to determine where it really is that she wants to go.

after all, if you *really* loved her, you would just know and you wouldn't need her to tell you.
2012-07-03 03:27:27 PM  
1 votes:
The problem started way back when we men let women have equal rights. Now, women mistakenly believe that their opinions are logical and valid, when in reality all that the world hears is squaking and a constant high-pitch tone. We should take back womens' rights. The world would be less retarded. Men know what is best for women anyway.
2012-07-03 03:26:09 PM  
1 votes:

padraig: IrateShadow: Meh, the women who think like that are really easy to deal with. Dump 'em and try a different one.

Also, I noticed that the author of this article does not even bother to respond to some of those points. She's just expressing dismay that men could think like that. There is absolutely NO empathy to the viewpoints of the other gender.


And many of her responses are just nonsensical mean-girl taunts.

I love how outraged she is that he provides specific, concrete examples of confounding behaviour some women exhibit. As if it is completely impossible that these examples could be extrapolated to apply to other women, say, the article writer herself. That would be unthinkable.
2012-07-03 02:55:12 PM  
1 votes:
Almost every romantic movie is about getting the man, not what to do after you've got him.
2012-07-03 02:45:29 PM  
1 votes:

Strategeryz0r: more information


I'm not advising you to "cut and run", just from what you had said before, it's very hard to equate this woman as a friend. Now that you've made it clearer (thank you) I even MORE say don't cut and run. However, the MDMA indulgence has got to stop. Anxiety and it...no no NONONONO! Pot...meh. Keep trying for the docs. I'm curious as to how you know which medication will absolutely help her, when no one will prescribe it? And not being silly, you mention psychiatrists...had you tried regular MD's in conjunction with the therapy?

All in all, marriage is serious. And it sounds like you are giving your all to try to keep it going. However, if indeed she acknowledges her anxiety and depression instances, you need to be able to set them out in front of her when she's acting out. No, it might not do any good all the time, but to say to her "remember when you admitted that you blow up and are unreasonable and you KNOW this is your anxiety talking, not YOU...blah blah" is a fair card to play, whether or not she likes it. Things will always confuse the hell out of you until such time as her anxiety and depression are better under control. Know that this is not YOUR issue. Don't try to understand what will make it all work out, because this won't all work out. Nothing you can do until the medical issues are taken care of will be of any influence. I urge you to not give up, keep going through physicians. Try a hotline for a referral. Try to get a referral from your local ER staff. Just keep trying. But STOP thinking it's something you can help. You can't. You're doing all you can by just not walking away and leaving her to deal with this on her own. And for that you have my utmost respect. I know it's not easy, not at all.
2012-07-03 02:18:41 PM  
1 votes:

YixilTesiphon: It's the "having the same argument over and over" thing I don't get.


You're not actually arguing about what you are purporting to argue about.

The argument is a proxy and a pretext for the REAL conversation, which is going unstated.
2012-07-03 02:04:59 PM  
1 votes:

RembrandtQEinstein: Advice for women, don't talk to men about the following subjects:

1. your friends (unless they are hot) or their children
2. your relatives (unless they are rich and could potentially give us lewt when the die) or their children
3. your job/coworkers (unless someone is harassing you and needs a cockpunch)
4. your problems (unless you want us to come up with a solution, if you "just want to talk about it" you have a phone with your mother or a girlfriend on speed dial)

And don't talk about anything under the following circumstances

1. when we are watching a screen (tv, sports, computer, video games)
2. when we are fixing things
3. when we are reading
4. when our eyes are closed

The only acceptable action while we are engaging in these activities is to quietly leave a cold beer, with opener if it is a bottle, somewhere in our peripheral vision. But not somewhere we can knock it over by turning around.

If you care about the happiness of your man you will follow these rules, if you don't then you will get offended by this list.


My boyfriend and I have an understanding that I can talk to him about DUMB GIRLY things or biatch about work and he can 'tune out'. Likewise, he can talk to me about cars, sports, or some of his hobbies and I can tune out. As a female, I fully acknowledge that I sometimes just have an urge to talk and it actually doesn't matter if anyone is really listening. However, we also take time to talk about things we both actually care about like fishing, traveling, people we both know, current events, our house, etc.
2012-07-03 01:51:44 PM  
1 votes:

Phinn: Agent Smiths Laugh: This entire thread is evidence for my assertion that catering to the female mindset just isn't worth all the complications.

I have never entered into a relationship with a woman thinking, "Gee, what I want out of life is to be tested and measured for the rest of my life."

Once you understand that's what's women are actually doing and saying, it becomes a lot less frustrating and confusing.

Then, it starts to become easier to not only pass the tests, but to reduce their frequency. (Although, they can never be eliminated entirely.)

If you do pass them regularly, then you'll find that the good parts of the relationship will flow a lot more freely, like the part where they smell good, and make an effort to please you, and throw their vaginas at you.


No.

Do not play the game.

We can hang out and have fun and do fun things, or you can sit at home learning more about relationships from the Kardashians and I'll do my own fun things without you.

If a relationship is bullshiat instead of fun, I'm out. Life's too short, and there are a zillion women out there.
2012-07-03 01:40:47 PM  
1 votes:

Strategeryz0r: In the great martial debate of what to do for dinner. How is one expected to handle a woman who's dining desires literally change on a second by second basis, often going from one extreme to another so rapidly that no suggestion you can possibly pose will ever be what she wants? you try to take charge and say "fark it we're going here!" only to be greeted with the answer "so what I want doesn't matter at all then?" So you ask her what she wants "I don't knowwwww! That's why I ask you!!" So you offer another suggestion that is an establishment she loves, and lies on the opposite end of the spectrum from the first idea "noooo I don't want that either!"


My girlfriend threw that one at me after we had a huge blowup that basically ended up with us taking a month break. She told me that I'm a control freak because I always decide where we eat dinner or what we do. There's been some times I've suggested some cool places to go but she "wasn't in the mood" for that. I pointed out that I always ask where she wants to eat or what she wants to do and she says, "I don't know." So last weekend I told her she had to plan the evening and I was just going along for the ride. She did and we had a good time. I teased her that it wasn't that hard for her to make a decision on dinner and something to do after.

The bottom line is that I don't want to spend a lot of time thinking about what we're going to do...so if she doesn't offer suggestions or make a decision, I will.
2012-07-03 01:39:56 PM  
1 votes:

Strategeryz0r: As strange as it sounds, she is my best friend. I'm more open with her more easily than anyone I've ever been with. I love spending time with her. But there are things that we fight about on a near constant basis that make it so difficult for me to want to stay. It grates at me, it affects my life personally and professionally(she loves to stir shiat up while I'm at work). I don't want things to continue being like this, but I can't seem to get her to realize she has to help me or this wont change.

I also hate to admit that my experience with the women I've dated, and especially my wife, has tainted my thoughts on women in general. When you deal with shiat like this with every woman you date, it's hard to maintain a clean perception of their entire gender.


All I can say after reading this is that something is really messed up somewhere and if you and her are serious about the relationship and don't really want to divorce, then you need to figure out what the problem is... is one of you resenting the other over something? It sounds like something is underneath all the problems... childhood abuse?... Lots and lots of possibility.

Time for therapy (single or couple) and find out with the heck it is.

The worse thing for a couple is to not be on the same page about things, including the actual relationship.

If she's going out of her way to cause issues (even at work)....

As one of you cheated on the other?
Is one not going anywhere in their lives (no job, or a job they hate)?

Could be a lot of things.

But you need to know if she's (and you) are dedicated to this marriage and want to face what the issue is.
2012-07-03 01:32:02 PM  
1 votes:

Strategeryz0r: mcwehrle: Strategeryz0r: special breed of crazy

I feel terrible for your situation. It's not supposed to be like that.

I love my wife to death, and that's why I'm soliciting you guys(some more experienced married folks, and in general some people who are just more adept at this stuff than I) for advice.

But I have had to face reality. If some of these things can't be addressed and/or fixed. I don't think we're going to last much longer. We've already been down the split up road before. I spent 2 weeks couch surfing my buddies houses going back and forth with her on filing divorce paperwork. So god only knows how much time we have left.

As strange as it sounds, she is my best friend. I'm more open with her more easily than anyone I've ever been with. I love spending time with her. But there are things that we fight about on a near constant basis that make it so difficult for me to want to stay. It grates at me, it affects my life personally and professionally(she loves to stir shiat up while I'm at work). I don't want things to continue being like this, but I can't seem to get her to realize she has to help me or this wont change.

I also hate to admit that my experience with the women I've dated, and especially my wife, has tainted my thoughts on women in general. When you deal with shiat like this with every woman you date, it's hard to maintain a clean perception of their entire gender.


Identify what's truly important to you, and don't compromise on those things.
Let her "win" everything else.
2012-07-03 01:28:59 PM  
1 votes:

Summer Glau's Love Slave: As a younger Farker (I'm 20 next month) I would like to say that some of y'all are scary as hayell.

/Maybe I'll just pass on this relationship stuff.
//So I can retain at least a small portion of my sanity.


You're still young, get hookers, it is cheaper in the long run. It is also easier on your sanity.
2012-07-03 01:18:00 PM  
1 votes:

Strategeryz0r: URAPNIS: cowsspinach: Meh. I only ask of one thing. No vulgar jokes when I'm around or in front of my friends. If he can't do that then he's out. So far...So great.

I find that hard to believe.
One requirement? LOL

And no vulgar jokes? That's a horrible requirement.


Recently went out with a girl who didn't like my potty mouth. I can understand maintaining clean talk when i'm in public, or meeting her friends (aka the Jury, to see if i pass the test or not).

but she didn't like curse words anywhere, anytime, for any reason.

Not even during sexy time, but that's probably because she liked it missionary with god and jesus watching (like the foundering fathers intended). I mean i don't need to be swearing like a sailor while getting busy, but i don't want to have to be constantly watching what i say when i know one slip up would piss her off and the fun would be over.

//bad date, great lay
2012-07-03 01:15:14 PM  
1 votes:

Death_Poot: WhippingBoy: Savage Bacon: Woah! Gotta love the use of the ol' CAPS LOCK to get a point across. Really helps your argument, lady. I can feel your exasperation through your written word... Such angst!

One of the first thing I learned about relationships and the difference between men and women had to do with sympathizing vs. problem-solving. As a man, if I start talking to my male friends about an issue I'm having, it's pretty much advice solicitation on my part. If my gf comes to me with an issue, it's usually just to vent, so I let her vent. If she actually needs any advice, I wait for her to ask for it, because apparently giving advice really gets in the way of a good venting session.

Yep. Took me 10 years to learn this. Confused the hell out of me. My wife would come to me, complaining about some relatively minor thing. I'd present her with a logical, clear-cut solution that would be guaranteed to solve her problem, and she would just get angry at me.

The thing I hate though, when a guy vents about something just for the sake of stress relief, he has "anger issues" or is "being too negative".


Better yet, I get alternatively accused of "not showing any emotion", and "being too sensitive".

ProTip: It can't be both.
2012-07-03 01:14:03 PM  
1 votes:

urbangirl: Yanks_RSJ: urbangirl: Maybe because we need to verbalizing about a problem in order to get it out of our system and not because we're looking for a "fix".

Not being a smart ass, honestly trying to offer a female viewpoint.

Male viewpoint: verbalize it to someone else. We're not your sounding board. When you're ready to actually deal with the problem, come find us.

Wow. Because everyone who isn't exactly like you is wrong.
How's that working for ya?


A person who listens to your problems and offers no solution is called a therapist.

Men LIKE solving problems, it's what we've been taught to do our entire lives. We are taught that it is EXPECTED of us.

I don't go complain to my mechanic that the check engine light is on and then yell at him when he pulls the code and tells me to replace the O2 censor.

Sorry about the caps. It's easier on a phone than typing out html.
2012-07-03 01:10:48 PM  
1 votes:

fortheloveofgod: Phinn: Look, people -- when a woman tells you she wants you to make a decision about where to eat dinner, then criticizes your decision, YOU ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT DINNER.

You are PRETENDING to talk about dinner.

However, you are ACTUALLY talking about whether you are a suitable mate for her. This is a TEST of your manhood.

If this is true, why does it continue 30 years into marriage?


It's the way women are. This behavior pattern is baked right into her brain. Her brain does not care that she's past child-bearing age. Her brain still assumes it's 20,000 B.C., so she craves a mate who'll give her healthy children, fell a mastodon for everyone to eat, and fight off the neighboring tribe, all at the same time.

Why do we crave high-fat food and tend to over eat, even though we no longer live in the wild and have no real reason to fear starvation? It's in our genes.
2012-07-03 12:58:41 PM  
1 votes:

susansto-helit: What you're saying here (as far as I can tell) is that you have little interest in providing emotional support to your partner or spouse. She comes in, looking for a bit of sympathy while she tries to work through her emotions from the day (theoretically so they won't continue to bother her), and you tell her to take it somewhere else. This begins to create emotional distance between you, as she now feels that she can no longer tell you when she's upset about something unless it's something that takes no more time to emotionally work out than it would take to change the oil in a car.


I'm perfectly capable of providing emotional support on issues that are actually important. These would be things like family situations, health matters or something similar. Hearing a complete play-by-play of the daily work drama that is pretty much completely meaningless and/or easily fixed is not emotional support, it's a waste of time because (in my opinion) none of things are worth any emotion whatsoever. If you need a hug because you're sad or upset, I'll hold you all night long, but I don't need the back story to do it. Do I really have to sit there and nod my head and say "that sucks" like a mindless automaton to prove I'm supportive?

And my problem with urbangirl's response is that she acknowledges that men and women see things differently, but seems to suggest that only men have to actually adapt to those differences. Why is "I need to tell you everything about my day" more important than my desire not to hear about things that aren't important?

And to answer the follow-up question, just because SHE thinks something is important doesn't make it so.
2012-07-03 12:50:38 PM  
1 votes:

URAPNIS: Death_Poot: stonicus: I don't mind them talking to me, but... get my attention first! Say, "hey..." and when I look at you, then start talking. I hate that when they just start talking, and a few seconds go by before you realize what's going on... you've now missed the beginning and if you say "hang on, start over..." they get all mad. It's the assumption that everything they want or need or are doing is ALWAYS more important than anything you may be doing at the time.

Try having 30% hearing loss in one ear like me....makes it worse

Brilliant!!!


yea......a Colt .45 going off two feet from your head will do that to you. Felt like an icepick was being shoved in my ear. My dumb arse walked up to a shooting bench while putting on ear protection instead of doing so beforehand.

My wife has gotten better about it though, if she sees i'm engrossed in something and wants to talk to me, she gets my attention first so she doesnt have to repeat the first 5 words she said. And, sometimes, my brain takes about that long to change focus from one thing to another.

This is a good example of her being cognizant of me (my limitations) and and acts accordingly instead of getting all huffy and accusing me of not being "present". Mature people tend to do that most of the time.
2012-07-03 12:47:58 PM  
1 votes:

kgf: Love it. Women always complain that men don't "open up", or "share their feelings", and as soon as a man does that, all you do is shiat all over him and tell him why he's so, so, so specifically wrong. Well here's #11 on the "Why I'd Rather Watch TV than Talk to You" list - you're a bunch of self-righteous hypocrites.


I'm afraid the article is a bad example of anyone "opening up" or "sharing feelings". Sentences which share thoughts and feelings tend to start with the word "I", as in "I feel" or "I think". When a sentence starts with the word "you" it tends to be more accusatory, critical, and often indicates a verbal attack... and the responses tend to be similarly aggressive or defensive in nature.

Women are just as bad at this as men though. I don't know why people say women are better communicators, they just communicate differently and equally badly.
2012-07-03 12:47:08 PM  
1 votes:
My free relationship advice:

Date someone you like.
And who likes you, also.

No problems.

/took me something like 25 years of dating to learn this.
2012-07-03 12:42:35 PM  
1 votes:

Tat'dGreaser: I don't know, what I got out of all that is the guy was throwing around some gigantic blanket statements.


Which he got from men who responded to questions on eHarmony.com but you and Lindy apparently prefer the "kill the messenger" method to remain ignorant.
2012-07-03 12:38:45 PM  
1 votes:

RembrandtQEinstein: And don't talk about anything under the following circumstances

1. when we are watching a screen (tv, sports, computer, video games)
2. when we are fixing things
3. when we are reading
4. when our eyes are closed


I don't mind them talking to me, but... get my attention first! Say, "hey..." and when I look at you, then start talking. I hate that when they just start talking, and a few seconds go by before you realize what's going on... you've now missed the beginning and if you say "hang on, start over..." they get all mad. It's the assumption that everything they want or need or are doing is ALWAYS more important than anything you may be doing at the time.
2012-07-03 12:33:18 PM  
1 votes:
You Just Don't Understand

While the book is about how men and women use language differently, the author explores cultural experiences that lead to the difference. As such, it's like reading the other team's playbook.

The men who read the book tell me "Wow! So that's why."

The women who read the book tell me "It doesn't matter, men are just wrong."

I found it very useful in reducing the pain in the ass that is communicating with women.

/I know, not funny, but it could change your life.
//or not
2012-07-03 12:32:02 PM  
1 votes:

Eternal Virgin: Women are stupid.


Your login/comment combo play well together.
2012-07-03 12:28:14 PM  
1 votes:

mightybaldking: I'm sympathetic to the anti-golf attitude women have. A full round of golf is 6-8 hours all in including transportation time and warm up and "cool down". That's half the weekend. It's not like you're going out to play hockey or baseball for an hour or so. It's an entire day.


I should clarify. These are not people who golf every weekend or even once a month. Also golf was just an example of an activity not the only activity that causes this behavior. Why is the whole day such a big deal though?
2012-07-03 12:27:17 PM  
1 votes:

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.


A ditzy broad like you wouldn't get it anyway. So why don't we skip the inflammatory remark and go straight to ignore?
2012-07-03 12:25:25 PM  
1 votes:
Advice for women, don't talk to men about the following subjects:

1. your friends (unless they are hot) or their children
2. your relatives (unless they are rich and could potentially give us lewt when the die) or their children
3. your job/coworkers (unless someone is harassing you and needs a cockpunch)
4. your problems (unless you want us to come up with a solution, if you "just want to talk about it" you have a phone with your mother or a girlfriend on speed dial)

And don't talk about anything under the following circumstances

1. when we are watching a screen (tv, sports, computer, video games)
2. when we are fixing things
3. when we are reading
4. when our eyes are closed

The only acceptable action while we are engaging in these activities is to quietly leave a cold beer, with opener if it is a bottle, somewhere in our peripheral vision. But not somewhere we can knock it over by turning around.

If you care about the happiness of your man you will follow these rules, if you don't then you will get offended by this list.
2012-07-03 12:25:12 PM  
1 votes:

Nutsac_Jim: Savage Bacon: The Singing Bush: I think it's hilarious that she doesn't follow number 9. My wife is terrible about this -

Me: Where do you want to go to dinner?
Her: I don't know, I'm not sure what I want
Me: How about here, or here, or here, or here, or here?
Her: No, none of those sound good.
Me: Well what do you want?
Her: Why can't YOU make a decision?
Me - head asplode

Had this exact thing happen to me a few times. The key here is to understand the difference between "suggestions" and "decisions". I believe she got angry because you merely *suggested* places, instead of deciding right then and there where you would go for dinner. Of course, deciding outright might still lead to her being unsatisfied with your choice, but at least you made one and next time she'll be more motivated to actually express her preferences. For even better results, mention something you actually like about the restaurant where you wish to eat, as that extra motivation can expedite the whole process.

Its all about negotiation. Just like the first one to mention money in a salary negotiation loses. She refuses to choose a place because how can she biatch at you about your choice if she is the one that made the suggestion. By letting you chose, she guarantees that she can biatch later.


And we come to the forefront of the husband/wife power struggle.

Correct me if I'm wrong here. But I let her pick because I know she's the pickiest of the two of us. In general I'm game for just about anything.

HOWEVER, she ALWAYS wants me to pick. Yet it's like answering a loaded question. No matter what you suggest, you are wrong. Almost as if women want us to pick everything so they have a reason to biatch and moan.
2012-07-03 12:23:26 PM  
1 votes:
More BJs and Sammichs!!!! Is that too much to ask for?
2012-07-03 12:17:02 PM  
1 votes:

Silenced is foo: You could say the same about shouting and getting angry, though. If you're angry, you walk it off and calm down. If you're crying, you take a minute to collect yourself, blow your nose, have a hug, and resume the conversation after you've regained your composure.


I don't understand why more people can't follow this advice.
2012-07-03 12:11:43 PM  
1 votes:

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.


i1172.photobucket.com

ive probably been ignored by you several times over by now, but just incase..... i would like you to know that it is a wasted day that goes by in which i do not offend a feminist to the point of furious unreasoning rage. Its a hobby to me.

my personal favorite was when i posted something that immediately got 5 feminist replies that were pure incoherent emotion. They were so angry that i had obliterated their view of the world that they took the time to get my post deleted and me banned for 48 hours. The amount of butt hurt i achieved with that one is one of my greatest accomplishments on fark.
2012-07-03 12:08:15 PM  
1 votes:

Nana's Vibrator: Problem solving or just listening to venting, I can't figure out the difference. I don't bother either way. Whether it's venting or not, she's going to recap her entire day to you. If you listen, you know every one of her work tasks and every one of her coworkers' names and all the family goings on. It can't be a coincidence that I've only dated women who do this. It's universal right?


Yes, it's universal. With mine, When she comes out of the grocery store I'll hear all about how the cashier's best friend has a cousin who is pregnant out of wedlock and doesn't know if she should have the baby or not. It takes every ounce of my will not to shout AND I CARE ABOUT THAT, WHY?!

And the second half of this is - when I get home from work she wants me to recap my entire day to her. The last thing that I want to do after I get home from work is to re-live that god awful day! As soon as I walk in the door I want to forget about work entirely.
2012-07-03 12:08:14 PM  
1 votes:
Nutsac_Jim: Oldiron_79: One thats always bugged me is that most women who like to biatch and moan about how guys are so picky about looks (weight mainly) but most women strait up will not go out with a Red headed man. If you wanna biatch about us not farking fatties you need to go fark a ginger.

Hot Red Head Thread!


Rick Rolls are so 2003
2012-07-03 12:07:42 PM  
1 votes:

The Singing Bush: I think it's hilarious that she doesn't follow number 9. My wife is terrible about this -

Me: Where do you want to go to dinner?
Her: I don't know, I'm not sure what I want
Me: How about here, or here, or here, or here, or here?
Her: No, none of those sound good.
Me: Well what do you want?
Her: Why can't YOU make a decision?
Me - head asplode


You have to decide. That way if there is poor service, bad food, a long wait, fire, pestilence, or plague it is your fault and it can be held against you in perpetuity.
2012-07-03 12:05:27 PM  
1 votes:

Christian Bale: This article just shows how men aren't allowed to have ANY complaints about women, otherwise you are a misogynist, and wrong. Only women can complain about men -- all men, in one big generalization -- and expect to be have their complaints not just taken seriously, but acknowledged as fact. And if you don't acknowledge those complaints? You're a misogynist, and wrong.



this sums up my relationship with ms. queso. when she is upset with me, it is because i am an asshole. when i am upset with her, it is because i am an asshole. her willingness to say the most incredibly hurtful things imaginable is laughable.

fortunately it is generally only 24-48 hours out of each month. the rest of the time we are golden.
2012-07-03 12:05:23 PM  
1 votes:

imfallen_angel: Overall, all these questions and all answers end up being application to both men and women.....

[snip]

So overall, all these are about maturity....


That's a big yeparooni there good buddy. Honesty, and the maturity to mutually recognize when it is happening, goes a long way to making all of these "issues" not even crop up in the first place. And if they do, it's not going to work anyway.
2012-07-03 12:05:12 PM  
1 votes:
Alright, folks, hands up if you've been with a person who freaks out for a problem for longer than it would take to fix it.
2012-07-03 12:03:28 PM  
1 votes:
Women are stupid.
2012-07-03 11:59:23 AM  
1 votes:

hasty ambush: College/Universities are the worse. There is probably no hostile place for men particularly white men than modern academia. Gender studies anyone?


If you stay out of the circlejerky subjects it's fine. History happened. Physics exists. But WTF is "sociology"? The harder to define a field, the more it becomes a political movement masquerading as a field of study.
2012-07-03 11:57:07 AM  
1 votes:

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.


That's so cute :) You are here specifically for those comments. There is no way you are going to put the greater assholes among us on ignore, just like you aren't going to turn off Rush Limbaugh. You love the anger, you need the anger.

It's cool, different strokes and all.
2012-07-03 11:57:04 AM  
1 votes:

Jixa: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 640x853]
I'm surprised this wasn't on the list.

I'm out numbered 3-1 at home, so this is a re-occurring issue.

/married peoples' problems


I always put the seat down. Women are incapable of watching where they put their asses and must be protected.
2012-07-03 11:56:51 AM  
1 votes:

Strategeryz0r: padraig: Strategeryz0r: 8. "You don't understand and/or like our need for alone time."

With, again literally, every girl I've ever been with my alone time is often time used to perfect my DJ'ing. Which is something I use as a bit of a side business for extra income.

I'm a very lucky man in that my s.o. does not fit most of those stereotypes (she sure do love to talk about her day, but that remains at a sane level), but the greatest thing about her is that WE BOTH NEED ALONE TIME.

So yeah, I can spend a few hours on my novel, videogames, reading a book or webbrowsing, because at the same time, she's either playing the guitar, solitaire, videogames or reading a book.

I envy you sir. I try to get alone time and if they aren't complaining that I'm acting "weird" by wanting to be alone, they're saying "well what do I do? I have nothing!"

I'm sorry.. is it suddenly my fault you have no hobbies or aspirations in life? No.. Maybe you should find some.. You know.. With your alone time?


Um...hate to say this, but your pick in women sucks. Try to find a decent honest woman. We are out there.

The entire description sounds like my ex however. That's why he's an ex. Well, that and he beat the snot out of me.

Stupid shallow article is stupid and shallow.

Not all men suck and are stupid
Not all women suck and are stupid
2012-07-03 11:51:22 AM  
1 votes:

robbiex0r: Savage Bacon: Woah! Gotta love the use of the ol' CAPS LOCK to get a point across. Really helps your argument, lady. I can feel your exasperation through your written word... Such angst!

One of the first thing I learned about relationships and the difference between men and women had to do with sympathizing vs. problem-solving. As a man, if I start talking to my male friends about an issue I'm having, it's pretty much advice solicitation on my part. If my gf comes to me with an issue, it's usually just to vent, so I let her vent. If she actually needs any advice, I wait for her to ask for it, because apparently giving advice really gets in the way of a good venting session.

Cannot be overstated. I still get trapped offering advice, when all I should be doing is listening. It's just so hard to watch someone suffer when the answer to their problems is so simple... Why wouldn't you want to help them?


Man, why it's taken me SOO long to figure this out is beyond me.
The difficulty I have, is that I am a fixer by nature, it's what my brain does.
So, when I'm trying to just sit there and let her vent (knowing that I can't fix whatever it is),
I get bored because I can predict what she's going to say, and she goes on, and on, and on about it.
I run out of ways to say that 'she's right, all her co-workers are assholes and out to get her.'
I can't even say things that would lead her to solve her own problem(there is generally no real solution, just venting),
because I get tired of hearing about the same shiat go on and on and on....
I guess I just need some more one-liners to make it seem that I'm still listening..
2012-07-03 11:50:55 AM  
1 votes:

R.A.Danny: gamergirl23: The Singing Bush: gamergirl23: The Singing Bush: I think it's hilarious that she doesn't follow number 9. My wife is terrible about this -

Me: Where do you want to go to dinner?
Her: I don't know, I'm not sure what I want
Me: How about here, or here, or here, or here, or here?
Her: No, none of those sound good.
Me: Well what do you want?
Her: Why can't YOU make a decision?
Me - head asplode

This is why one should have a default food/drink/activity. If you don't care but someone really wants you to pick, you just pick that to politely prevent them from going insane.

Tried that - she'll come back with "but we just did that like 6 months ago"

I don't know. Have her keep a list of her favorite restaurants in the car with the dates you last visited them?

My rule: If you make me choose where to go, you shut up about where we're going.

Otherwise I'd be happy to work with you towards picking a place, but don't tell me to choose unless you're ready to shut up and eat some damn BBQ.


Ever just throw your hands up in the air and say "well fark it, you eat where you want; I'm going to the BBQ joint"? I did that once with an ex, and followed through. Took my time and had a lovely meal by myself. God damn there was glorious drama when I got home. She was one of those semi-fat chicks who get cranky when they're hungry, and she deliberately sat there not eating the whole time to enhance the freak out. I told her it was probably a good thing she skipped dinner and then went to play video games while she screeched. Healthiest. Relationship. Ever.
2012-07-03 11:50:31 AM  
1 votes:

Yanks_RSJ:
It must be. One of my exes was having an issue with her boss that essentially came down to her "being mean" or some crap like that. Every day I got to hear a complete rundown of what her boss did to her, and every day I said, "you should go talk to her" or something to that effect.

Finally, I got fed up with it and just said, "look, I'm not one of your girlfriends, if you don't actually want my advice, don't come to me with the same problem every single day when you haven't once attempted my suggested solution. Be an adult and talk to your boss or leave me out of it."

Of course that brought on the waterworks and a 3-hour fight about how I'm a jerk who can't be sympathetic. Which I guess was true, we don't have that instinct, at least not when there's a logical solution to a pitiful "problem".


What I don't get is the insistence of re-narrating the entirety of events while we were apart. When she asks how my day was, I say "OK" and move on unless it involved something on par with someone being fired or taken away in an ambulance.
Why the hell would anyone want to relive their work day...ESPECIALLY if it sucked so badly? And why is it not taken as a hint when I don't elaborate on my daily garbage that since I don't want to hear myself talk about highlights from my own day, why would I want to hear about each of the 600 minutes we were apart?
2012-07-03 11:49:30 AM  
1 votes:

urbangirl: Maybe because we need to verbalizing about a problem in order to get it out of our system and not because we're looking for a "fix".

Not being a smart ass, honestly trying to offer a female viewpoint.


Male viewpoint: verbalize it to someone else. We're not your sounding board. When you're ready to actually deal with the problem, come find us.
2012-07-03 11:48:37 AM  
1 votes:
Being male, I'd like to hear a Female response to Mens Rules for Women

So, ladies, how about it?
2012-07-03 11:46:17 AM  
1 votes:

padraig: Okay, just for the fun of it, but : has any man here ever tried to turn the tables on their s.o. .? By that, I mean rant endlessly about your own problem of the day, not letting her a word in edgewise, and getting offended if she offers a suggestion ?


If you try this, then you have "anger issues" or you "are too negative about things". Therefore, you are an asshole.
2012-07-03 11:46:07 AM  
1 votes:

R.A.Danny: padraig: Okay, just for the fun of it, but : has any man here ever tried to turn the tables on their s.o. .? By that, I mean rant endlessly about your own problem of the day, not letting her a word in edgewise, and getting offended if she offers a suggestion ?

Was told to man up.


Exactly. They can biatch, we're expected to deal with it.

Yet another absurd female double standard. Seriously if it weren't for vagina's we'd all be gay.

Don't you love it how if you complain about how women behave you're nothing but a misogynistic asshole too?
2012-07-03 11:44:48 AM  
1 votes:

The Singing Bush: I think it's hilarious that she doesn't follow number 9. My wife is terrible about this -

Me: Where do you want to go to dinner?
Her: I don't know, I'm not sure what I want
Me: How about here, or here, or here, or here, or here?
Her: No, none of those sound good.
Me: Well what do you want?
Her: Why can't YOU make a decision?
Me - head asplode


My boyfriend does this same exact thing. Drives me nuts.

Which is the point of TFA, once you get past all the venting. Most of these are complaints about human behaviors, not male/female.
2012-07-03 11:37:09 AM  
1 votes:
All women are crazy, it's just what level of crazy are you willing to deal with.
2012-07-03 11:35:09 AM  
1 votes:
9. "You have a complicated set of double standards."

This one had me laughing to hard to even think about the others.
//wife almost in tears so angry that I bought a sink for my bathroom (we have separate bathrooms)
//get back from ski trip and wife is so proud of the awful paint job she did on our dining room without ever mentioning plans to paint.
2012-07-03 11:35:01 AM  
1 votes:

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.


I can't imagine what reading fark is like for you. It must be like a completely different site.
2012-07-03 11:34:59 AM  
1 votes:
This "response" to the original "article" has two problems:

1. The author seems incapable of distinguishing between common complaints about many women, and claims that "all women do X."

2. The author basically denies the legitimacy of any situation in which a man feels that women are insensitive to his wants and needs. If there is even the smallest possibility that a man might be partially at fault in any of these instances, then all of these complaints are null and voild Nobody is denying that men and women may have a tendency to misunderstand each other, prioritize differently, or rub each other the wrong way, but if your response to a man vocalizing his opinion on relationships is to say "nuh-uh, you're wrong," then you're not communicating.

Personally, I've gotten very burned by #4, "You use your emotions as a weapon." My girlfriend and I and had run into some religious differences, but we couldn't really even discuss it, because if I even disagreed with a factual claim or the logic behind something her pastor said, she'd burst into tears. We really liked each other so the whole thing got dragged out way, way longer than it should have, but man, that's no way to live.
2012-07-03 11:29:31 AM  
1 votes:

wraithmare: Yep. Mrs. W. mentions an issue and seems a little upset. So I run through various solutions that seem quite logical to solve the issue. She gets upset that I'm trying to fix things, then I get upset she isn't listening and then it gets all quiet. Give it an hour, it's all good. See, I keep thinking like an engineer and trying to fix things. That is apparently the wrong answer.


The other thing to consider is if Mrs. W is really worked up over an issue it means she's spent hours (if not days) wrestling with the issue. When you fix it 5 minutes after hearing it, you make her feel really stupid. She's already emotional and now you made her feel stupid, bad things happen from there. The best bet is to be sympathetic and after a bit ask some leading questions to start getting her to realize the solution to her problems.
2012-07-03 11:29:18 AM  
1 votes:

R.A.Danny: The Singing Bush: R.A.Danny: gamergirl23: The Singing Bush: gamergirl23: The Singing Bush: I think it's hilarious that she doesn't follow number 9. My wife is terrible about this -

Me: Where do you want to go to dinner?
Her: I don't know, I'm not sure what I want
Me: How about here, or here, or here, or here, or here?
Her: No, none of those sound good.
Me: Well what do you want?
Her: Why can't YOU make a decision?
Me - head asplode

This is why one should have a default food/drink/activity. If you don't care but someone really wants you to pick, you just pick that to politely prevent them from going insane.

Tried that - she'll come back with "but we just did that like 6 months ago"

I don't know. Have her keep a list of her favorite restaurants in the car with the dates you last visited them?

My rule: If you make me choose where to go, you shut up about where we're going.

Otherwise I'd be happy to work with you towards picking a place, but don't tell me to choose unless you're ready to shut up and eat some damn BBQ.

I typically say Taco Bell as a threat. Amazingly, she'll start figuring out what she's in the mood for.

All my wife ever wants is Taco Bell and cheeseburgers.


As someone who's wife won't eat red meat or pork, and even went through a total vegan phase for a while, this post made me irrationally angry because I think you're saying that as if it's a bad thing.
2012-07-03 11:26:27 AM  
1 votes:

Animatronik: I think you're deluding yourself if you think its that simple. I can relate better to what Peter O'Toole said, that he'd made a study of women for many years and learned nothing from it.


I don't know that I'd say things are simple... just because something can be simply explained doesn't mean the actual execution of things isn't very complex or that the reasons for it being that way aren't complex. The women I've discussed this with have tended to agree with the generality I stated (alphas get the motor going, betas are more attractive for an actual relationship), but the causes for their agreement have roots in biology, psychology, culture, and everything else. The exact mix will still vary from woman to woman as well... some like more alpha than others.

While I know the old saw about women being unfathomable and agree with it to an extent, at the same time there's still things man can know about woman and vice versa. While we're still dealing in gross generalities (and just suffering the inaccuracies sure to arise once we go from generalities to specific women), any man who is willing and able to learn can indeed find woman very educational and even (to an extent) understandable. It will still feel foreign (like speaking a foreign language when you aren't fluent), but you can operate.

Then again, sometimes it can indeed be flat out "biatches be crazy, yo," but that's rarer than we men might like to pretend sometimes.
2012-07-03 11:26:06 AM  
1 votes:

Benevolent Misanthrope: You mean they don't? Huh. I thought all men wrote their name in the snow.


www.billboard.com

Approves
2012-07-03 11:25:30 AM  
1 votes:

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.


Well, okay...let me think of a good one, here...

Gold mine is two words, you stupid broad.
2012-07-03 11:22:53 AM  
1 votes:

R.A.Danny: gamergirl23: The Singing Bush: gamergirl23: The Singing Bush: I think it's hilarious that she doesn't follow number 9. My wife is terrible about this -

Me: Where do you want to go to dinner?
Her: I don't know, I'm not sure what I want
Me: How about here, or here, or here, or here, or here?
Her: No, none of those sound good.
Me: Well what do you want?
Her: Why can't YOU make a decision?
Me - head asplode

This is why one should have a default food/drink/activity. If you don't care but someone really wants you to pick, you just pick that to politely prevent them from going insane.

Tried that - she'll come back with "but we just did that like 6 months ago"

I don't know. Have her keep a list of her favorite restaurants in the car with the dates you last visited them?

My rule: If you make me choose where to go, you shut up about where we're going.

Otherwise I'd be happy to work with you towards picking a place, but don't tell me to choose unless you're ready to shut up and eat some damn BBQ.


I typically say Taco Bell as a threat. Amazingly, she'll start figuring out what she's in the mood for.
2012-07-03 11:16:55 AM  
1 votes:

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.


Who the fark are you for us to even care? Oh, gotcha some uber-dike who thinks her opinions matter more. Go invent something.
2012-07-03 11:14:44 AM  
1 votes:

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.


cafewitteveen.files.wordpress.com

you sound fat
2012-07-03 11:14:22 AM  
1 votes:

Death_Poot: Second wife? She doesn't pull that bullshiat. We disagree about stuff, but we also debate/argue in a sane manner.


Exactly. I married my wife because even though she does get emotional, she always knows when to step away. When it moves from "venting to me about something" to "venting at me for something" she'll put the brakes on, go do her thing for an hour and come back to talk. As I explained to many past girlfriends, "I have no problem if you vent about your problems to me. When you vent at me though you risk pushing me to a certain stage where I just walk away and never deal with your drama ridden ass again." I married the first one that actually grasped the difference between to and at.

The ones that bottle up their stress, wait you for you make a minor mistake, and then take everything out on you (using said mistake) as an excuse are the worst. If you're stuck with that kind of so, get the hell out now.
2012-07-03 11:09:11 AM  
1 votes:

RumsfeldsReplacement: susansto-helit: I have to admit that #4 really pisses me off. I cannot control when I start crying, so don't accuse me of using it as a weapon when I do.

Fair enough, but don't get upset when men immediately stop the conversation at that point. Once the tears start, there is absolutely NO way that continuing could possibly work out well for the man.


And by that, all you're telling her is that she cannot have a conversation with you in which any kind of topic that might bring up any kind of emotion might be involved. I'm still perfectly rational while I'm crying. It's usually just an outward indicator that I'm angry. Do you end all conversations with everyone once one of you becomes angry?
2012-07-03 11:07:40 AM  
1 votes:

Hack Patooey: Missing is the classic "When did this start happening" redirection. i.e.

Man: XyZ is bothering me, can we talk about it?
Woman: When did this start being a problem?
Man: Not sure, a while, ago, but it needs to be addressed.
Woman: Why didn't you tell me before, before it became a problem?

...and then the conversation is no longer about the issue that *I* brought up, which never gets resolved.



Made me chuckled...

I've been a bit more harsh with my wife and the kids lately, as when some sort of dispute starts, I tend to assert my "maleness" and go with "I don't want to hear a long useless story, THIS is how it's gonna go"... and offer the quick and easy solution and I accept no arguments. I will listen to points, as long as they are in bullet form, also use the yes and no answers method... it gets things done a lot faster and I don't end up wanting to hit my head on the wall over things that should be trivial but somehow, become huge for them for no reason.

It's amazing how people over-complicate things.
2012-07-03 11:06:57 AM  
1 votes:
As much as people and article's author disregard the eharmony article, the eharmony article sounds just like men biatching about women at the bar.
So taken for the generic info it is, it is fairly insightful. Outside of a guy just out of a relationship, no man really believes all apply to all women.. or any for that matter.
It does list some common complaints though. As a male, i will say the reversed articles are equally as insightful even if generic for me. No reason to get all pissy unless you live in denial... or if it appears too true. Which for tfa author, i suspect it may be for her.
2012-07-03 11:04:39 AM  
1 votes:
6. "You like to play coy."

This game where you pretend you don't care and secretly hope we chase you down is for teenagers.


Dude, if you're a guy and you've never played hard to get then you're doing it wrong. IMHO men do this just as often as women and they do it much more successfully. Even I do it much more successfully than any woman has ever done it to me, and I'm a dork.

In a list of dumb points and even dumber counterpoints, this was probably the dumbest.
2012-07-03 11:04:32 AM  
1 votes:

The Singing Bush: I think it's hilarious that she doesn't follow number 9. My wife is terrible about this -

Me: Where do you want to go to dinner?
Her: I don't know, I'm not sure what I want
Me: How about here, or here, or here, or here, or here?
Her: No, none of those sound good.
Me: Well what do you want?
Her: Why can't YOU make a decision?
Me - head asplode


This is why one should have a default food/drink/activity. If you don't care but someone really wants you to pick, you just pick that to politely prevent them from going insane.
2012-07-03 11:03:30 AM  
1 votes:
I start crying when I reach emotional equilibrium.
2012-07-03 11:02:28 AM  
1 votes:

Hack Patooey: Missing is the classic "When did this start happening" redirection. i.e.

Man: XyZ is bothering me, can we talk about it?
Woman: When did this start being a problem?
Man: Not sure, a while, ago, but it needs to be addressed.
Woman: Why didn't you tell me before, before it became a problem?

...and then the conversation is no longer about the issue that *I* brought up, which never gets resolved.


Didn't you know? BEFORE it was an issue, you were supposed to know that it was going to become an issue and brought it up then. It's always best to bring up something that's not a problem so that it can become a problem when you bring it up, and it's all your fault anyway.

You cad.
2012-07-03 11:02:26 AM  
1 votes:
I don't know, what I got out of all that is the guy was throwing around some gigantic blanket statements.
2012-07-03 11:01:37 AM  
1 votes:

susansto-helit: jylcat: susansto-helit: I have to admit that #4 really pisses me off. I cannot control when I start crying, so don't accuse me of using it as a weapon when I do.

Unfortunately for me, I cry when I get pissed off!

Me too. I get angry and I can feel the tears coming. It's completely beyond my control. It kinda sucks.


Same here. I cry when I laugh or sneeze, so getting upset is a guaranteed tear jerker. The more I concentrate on not crying, the worse it gets. It's really not helpful because most often crying doesn't really help the situation.
2012-07-03 10:59:40 AM  
1 votes:
She seems like she has the idea of what her 'guy' is already like, she's just looking someone to fill the role, and that seems to be the guy who just "isn't like the other", by all forms of the stereotype (we can't commit, we have the attention span of a goldfish), in more of a counterpoint to the guy's analysis.

Granted there are some merits in some points in her list, but every point seems to descend down to the mad rambling of a future cat lady.

I've found women who feel the need to find a man who fits into these 'ten' ideals, or other similar rigid ideas of what the "dumb moldable guy" should be before they get their hands on us, are just inconsolable. You are best to let someone else try to fit their mold, because there is no give and take in that kind of relationship, you are playing her game (and that ain't love baby).

But i lack a woman in my life in general, so take what i say with a grain of salt.
2012-07-03 10:54:56 AM  
1 votes:

Benevolent Misanthrope: padraig: I had never seen such contempt for a whole gender before in my life.

You don't get out much do you? This is generally the message of TV, movies, popular culture in general. Watch "Miss Representation" sometime to get an idea of how pervasive it is.


No no no... this is my fault actually. I haven't managed to fully express the full horror of that book, and its utter contempt for men.
At one point, it actually suggests that men routinely play with their excrements.
2012-07-03 10:53:55 AM  
1 votes:

Superjew: The Author:

[www.thestranger.com image 249x298]


I like her tits.
2012-07-03 10:51:35 AM  
1 votes:

Superjew: The Author:

[www.thestranger.com image 249x298]


No surprises there...
2012-07-03 10:50:04 AM  
1 votes:
That last one is spot on. I do it all the time, I use a personal experience to explain an entire group of people. That's exactly what that guy did. His one friend just happened to date a crazy chick and all of a sudden all women were crazy.
2012-07-03 10:49:47 AM  
1 votes:

asmodeusazarak: susansto-helit: I have to admit that #4 really pisses me off. I cannot control when I start crying, so don't accuse me of using it as a weapon when I do.

If you'd grown up as a man you'd have to learn to control when you start crying.


Actually, my dad always saw crying as a weakness (not his fault - his dad was a real hard ass when he was a kid, evidently), so I was raised not to. Sadly, my emotions exit through my eyes or sit in my stomach and cause ulcers. Crying's better. ;)
2012-07-03 10:49:01 AM  
1 votes:
www.wearysloth.com
2012-07-03 10:46:37 AM  
1 votes:
I kind of have to agree with the author. That writer for eharmony sounded pretty damn stupid.
2012-07-03 10:46:27 AM  
1 votes:
Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.
2012-07-03 10:43:33 AM  
1 votes:

scottydoesntknow: mitchcumstein1: scottydoesntknow: Sounds like Lindy West just needs a good dicking

Have at it, she's all yours.

Yeesh.

Hey hey hey now, I'm not falling on that grenade. I just said she needs A dicking, not MY dicking.


Yeah, how would 15 seconds of discomfort help her, anyway?
2012-07-03 10:36:32 AM  
1 votes:

scottydoesntknow: Sounds like Lindy West just needs a good dicking


Have at it, she's all yours.

Yeesh.
 
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