If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Jezebel)   "Women's Ten Biggest Complaints About Men's Ten Biggest Complaints About Women." Or, how to create an internet flame war the likes of which God has never seen   (jezebel.com) divider line 618
    More: Interesting, flame wars, gender stereotypes, eHarmony, complaints  
•       •       •

19217 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jul 2012 at 10:41 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



618 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-07-03 12:12:26 PM  
Meh. I only ask of one thing. No vulgar jokes when I'm around or in front of my friends. If he can't do that then he's out. So far...So great.
 
2012-07-03 12:13:36 PM  
www.filehurricane.com

/It's funny 'cause it's true
 
2012-07-03 12:13:38 PM  

lazyguineapig33: my personal favorite was when i posted something that immediately got 5 feminist replies that were pure incoherent emotion. They were so angry that i had obliterated their view of the world that they took the time to get my post deleted and me banned for 48 hours. The amount of butt hurt i achieved with that one is one of my greatest accomplishments on fark.


Please share further (for teh lulz)....maybe there's a better mod on duty today
 
2012-07-03 12:14:51 PM  

cowsspinach: Meh. I only ask of one thing. No vulgar jokes when I'm around or in front of my friends. If he can't do that then he's out. So far...So great.


I find that hard to believe.
One requirement? LOL
 
2012-07-03 12:15:46 PM  

URAPNIS: cowsspinach: Meh. I only ask of one thing. No vulgar jokes when I'm around or in front of my friends. If he can't do that then he's out. So far...So great.

I find that hard to believe.
One requirement? LOL


And no vulgar jokes? That's a horrible requirement.
 
2012-07-03 12:16:10 PM  

cowsspinach: Meh. I only ask of one thing. No vulgar jokes when I'm around or in front of my friends. If he can't do that then he's out. So far...So great.


My wife's like this about farting to some degree. She can (I think it's funny when she goes ooooops in a girlish voice), but I don't.

Seeing as I can peel the paint off the wall at 20 paces, it's probably a good thing.
 
2012-07-03 12:16:35 PM  

urbangirl: The point is that (generally) the female mind doesnt work


Agree.
 
2012-07-03 12:16:44 PM  

Strategeryz0r: URAPNIS: cowsspinach: Meh. I only ask of one thing. No vulgar jokes when I'm around or in front of my friends. If he can't do that then he's out. So far...So great.

I find that hard to believe.
One requirement? LOL

And no vulgar jokes? That's a horrible requirement.


Granted, but still!
 
2012-07-03 12:17:02 PM  

Silenced is foo: You could say the same about shouting and getting angry, though. If you're angry, you walk it off and calm down. If you're crying, you take a minute to collect yourself, blow your nose, have a hug, and resume the conversation after you've regained your composure.


I don't understand why more people can't follow this advice.
 
2012-07-03 12:18:08 PM  

Nana's Vibrator: I wonder what it says about my current relationship when she says she's not in the mood for choices 1 or 2 (or sometimes 3 or 4). I tell her what I'm making and if she doesn't want it she's on her own.

If that makes me an insuitable mate, I've got bad news for everyone...


My armchair diagnosis?

Your problem begins long before you "tell her what you're making." It begins with the part where you've offered her a "choice" in the first place. From the look of it, you gave her 4 choices, and asked her to pick one.

You're already off on the wrong track. You've already resigned your command.

So, after you've already telegraphed to her that you are not in command, then you try to wrestle control back from her by saying "take it or leave it."

That's not a bad response to the problem you've created, but a better approach would be to avoid creating the problem in the first place.

Try making plans to go somewhere without consulting her. Does the captain of a Navy ship ask his lieutenant where to point the ship? No, he makes decisions, for the benefit of everyone, and expects them to be followed. He may ask for input, but in doing so always communicates that the choice is his.

The first few times you do this, you will probably provoke a shiatstorm of complaining. This is because you have not convinced her that you are fully confident in making choices.
 
2012-07-03 12:19:17 PM  
Revised "Complete List of Phrases Needed to Deal With Women":

1. "Yes, Dear"
2. "Oh, Pleeeaase!"
3. (new): "It's all my fault"

/Worked for me.

//YMMV, depending on your ability to project sincerity while keeping a straight face.
 
2012-07-03 12:20:14 PM  
Nogale: R.A.Danny: ignatius_crumbcake: R.A.Danny: Strategeryz0r: Yet another absurd female double standard. Seriously if it weren't for vagina's we'd all be gay.

You forgot tits.

This is why being gay simply cannot be a choice. If being gay were a choice, there would be no straight men.

I actually know a few gay guys that love tits. They're almost universally adored.

Most gay guys I know appreciate women's bodies. They just don't want to have sex with them.


I could see that. I mean most strait guys appreciate a well built guys body even though they don't want to have sex with it. If they didn't sports would not be very popular.
 
2012-07-03 12:20:28 PM  

crabsno termites: Revised "Complete List of Phrases Needed to Deal With Women":

1. "Yes, Dear"
2. "Oh, Pleeeaase!"
3. (new): "It's all my fault"

/Worked for me.

//YMMV, depending on your ability to project sincerity while keeping a straight face.


What if we can't project sincerity when we know we're bold faced lying?

The #1 cause of massive arguments in my house hold is!!

*drum roll*

Me pointing out how she's being batshiat nuts rather than just letting her live in this delusion world where she is a beacon of perfection.
 
2012-07-03 12:20:35 PM  

wingedkat: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.

I can't imagine what reading fark is like for you. It must be like a completely different site.


Indeed. My version of Fark is a comforting, serene site that I can visit to find useful information on any problems I might have. The forums are blessedly free of any kind of bigotry, and the threads are full of well-reasoned arguments that are supported by objective evidence. There are also lolcat pictures.
 
2012-07-03 12:21:14 PM  

God Is My Co-Pirate: Okay, you want to knnow what's going on in our heads during this scenario?

1) We want a place with the right atmosphere to suit our mood (and our clothes and transport)
2) We want a menu that's right for our food/guilt issues (if I'm feeling fat, I don't want BBQ, but I also want you to be happy so I make you pick)
3) We want you to pick because it means you've put thought into it - planning something is more romantic than just ending up wherever's closest
4) If we have kids or not a lot of money, so we're not going out too often, it increases the pressure to have everything go perfectly

I'm not saying it's not crazy, but there you go. Just say "I've heard there's a great new place just opened. I've booked us a table for Friday."


Thanks for the explanation. Which is perfectly fine for a couple dating, or a married couple going on a special night out. But NOT applicable for - I just got home from work, wife didn't feel like cooking dinner so let's go out to eat. We're talking Applebees or Fridays here!
 
2012-07-03 12:22:52 PM  

Savage Bacon: The Singing Bush: I think it's hilarious that she doesn't follow number 9. My wife is terrible about this -

Me: Where do you want to go to dinner?
Her: I don't know, I'm not sure what I want
Me: How about here, or here, or here, or here, or here?
Her: No, none of those sound good.
Me: Well what do you want?
Her: Why can't YOU make a decision?
Me - head asplode

Had this exact thing happen to me a few times. The key here is to understand the difference between "suggestions" and "decisions". I believe she got angry because you merely *suggested* places, instead of deciding right then and there where you would go for dinner. Of course, deciding outright might still lead to her being unsatisfied with your choice, but at least you made one and next time she'll be more motivated to actually express her preferences. For even better results, mention something you actually like about the restaurant where you wish to eat, as that extra motivation can expedite the whole process.


Its all about negotiation. Just like the first one to mention money in a salary negotiation loses. She refuses to choose a place because how can she biatch at you about your choice if she is the one that made the suggestion. By letting you chose, she guarantees that she can biatch later.
 
2012-07-03 12:23:26 PM  
More BJs and Sammichs!!!! Is that too much to ask for?
 
2012-07-03 12:24:03 PM  

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: wingedkat: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.

I can't imagine what reading fark is like for you. It must be like a completely different site.

Indeed. My version of Fark is a comforting, serene site that I can visit to find useful information on any problems I might have. The forums are blessedly free of any kind of bigotry, and the threads are full of well-reasoned arguments that are supported by objective evidence. There are also lolcat pictures.


The best thing is that now she can't reply to any "inflammatory" comments without outing herself as a lying, "feminist" drama queen.

Prove me right. DO IT.
 
2012-07-03 12:24:20 PM  
You people bang some ridiculous people.

This is the solution to "I want to go out, where do you want to go?" in my house:

I suggest the first thing that comes to mind.
Mrs. Tesiphon then says "I'd rather go here."
I say "OK."
I drive us there.
 
kgf
2012-07-03 12:24:29 PM  
Was going to post this on Jezebel's site, but changed my mind. These comments are addressed to the snarky biatches who left comments there, not the lovely ladies of Fark:


Love it. Women always complain that men don't "open up", or "share their feelings", and as soon as a man does that, all you do is shiat all over him and tell him why he's so, so, so specifically wrong. Well here's #11 on the "Why I'd Rather Watch TV than Talk to You" list - you're a bunch of self-righteous hypocrites.
 
2012-07-03 12:24:58 PM  

Nogale: Protip: The person who uses the kitchen most gets final say. My friend's ex, an architect, designed their kitchen renovation without consulting her. All the shelves were too narrow to hold her pots ;-)


Then her pots are wrong.
 
2012-07-03 12:25:03 PM  

Rapmaster2000: 6. "You like to play coy."

This game where you pretend you don't care and secretly hope we chase you down is for teenagers.

Dude, if you're a guy and you've never played hard to get then you're doing it wrong. IMHO men do this just as often as women and they do it much more successfully. Even I do it much more successfully than any woman has ever done it to me, and I'm a dork.

In a list of dumb points and even dumber counterpoints, this was probably the dumbest.


Sometimes when a guy "plays coy", it's just that he isn't interested in her. If she then takes that as a sign that he IS into her and offers him sex, he won't turn it down. Doesn't mean playing coy was a play to get in her pants.
 
2012-07-03 12:25:12 PM  

Nutsac_Jim: Savage Bacon: The Singing Bush: I think it's hilarious that she doesn't follow number 9. My wife is terrible about this -

Me: Where do you want to go to dinner?
Her: I don't know, I'm not sure what I want
Me: How about here, or here, or here, or here, or here?
Her: No, none of those sound good.
Me: Well what do you want?
Her: Why can't YOU make a decision?
Me - head asplode

Had this exact thing happen to me a few times. The key here is to understand the difference between "suggestions" and "decisions". I believe she got angry because you merely *suggested* places, instead of deciding right then and there where you would go for dinner. Of course, deciding outright might still lead to her being unsatisfied with your choice, but at least you made one and next time she'll be more motivated to actually express her preferences. For even better results, mention something you actually like about the restaurant where you wish to eat, as that extra motivation can expedite the whole process.

Its all about negotiation. Just like the first one to mention money in a salary negotiation loses. She refuses to choose a place because how can she biatch at you about your choice if she is the one that made the suggestion. By letting you chose, she guarantees that she can biatch later.


And we come to the forefront of the husband/wife power struggle.

Correct me if I'm wrong here. But I let her pick because I know she's the pickiest of the two of us. In general I'm game for just about anything.

HOWEVER, she ALWAYS wants me to pick. Yet it's like answering a loaded question. No matter what you suggest, you are wrong. Almost as if women want us to pick everything so they have a reason to biatch and moan.
 
2012-07-03 12:25:25 PM  
Advice for women, don't talk to men about the following subjects:

1. your friends (unless they are hot) or their children
2. your relatives (unless they are rich and could potentially give us lewt when the die) or their children
3. your job/coworkers (unless someone is harassing you and needs a cockpunch)
4. your problems (unless you want us to come up with a solution, if you "just want to talk about it" you have a phone with your mother or a girlfriend on speed dial)

And don't talk about anything under the following circumstances

1. when we are watching a screen (tv, sports, computer, video games)
2. when we are fixing things
3. when we are reading
4. when our eyes are closed

The only acceptable action while we are engaging in these activities is to quietly leave a cold beer, with opener if it is a bottle, somewhere in our peripheral vision. But not somewhere we can knock it over by turning around.

If you care about the happiness of your man you will follow these rules, if you don't then you will get offended by this list.
 
2012-07-03 12:25:44 PM  

glass_ibis: FYI
When men get emotional their logic centers turn off - this is not so with women.


lol. It doesn't happen for women because it is off by default.
 
2012-07-03 12:27:17 PM  

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.


A ditzy broad like you wouldn't get it anyway. So why don't we skip the inflammatory remark and go straight to ignore?
 
2012-07-03 12:27:18 PM  

YixilTesiphon: I suggest the first thing that comes to mind.
Mrs. Tesiphon then says "I'd rather go here."
I say "OK."
I drive us there.



If we can't decide, all I have to say is "Oriental" or "Thai" and she's cool with it. She's not into the mental gymnastics too much when it comes to dinner.
 
2012-07-03 12:27:41 PM  
Holy shiat, this article is stupid.

7. "You fixate on what we're thinking, when you should be watching what we're doing."

:-|

I think my feelings on this one can best be summed up by disapproving fiberglass lion.


Lady, I don't care how you feel about this. When you ask me what I'm thinking, I'm thinking about paying my bills, six different problems at work, whether I should be looking for another job, when I should ask for a raise, where I'm taking you on vacation, where I'm taking you to dinner tonight, your boobs, the boobs of the girl in the next car, whether or not my cell phone is charged, how much longer I can get by with my current office chair before I need to replace it, whether or not I've actually seen every episode of my favorite television show, if I'm ever going to get to see my favorite band in concert again, your boobs, my ex-girlfriend's boobs, what it would be like if I had been a samurai, whether or not I'm on track to retirement, whether or not you're going to say yes if I propose, whether or not we should get a cat, and boobs as a general concept.

So you know what? Stop asking me what I'm thinking about. I am not "grumpy", and I'm just going to say "nothing" again.

1. "You see us as projects you can 'fix.'"

Yeah, great point! You're so right-no one in a serious relationship should ever have to compromise or change anything about themselves out of respect for their partner.


At a certain age, if you haven't figured out that other people are other people and that they aren't going to make fundamental changes to themselves for you, you're hopelessly lost.
 
2012-07-03 12:28:14 PM  

mightybaldking: I'm sympathetic to the anti-golf attitude women have. A full round of golf is 6-8 hours all in including transportation time and warm up and "cool down". That's half the weekend. It's not like you're going out to play hockey or baseball for an hour or so. It's an entire day.


I should clarify. These are not people who golf every weekend or even once a month. Also golf was just an example of an activity not the only activity that causes this behavior. Why is the whole day such a big deal though?
 
2012-07-03 12:29:19 PM  

susansto-helit: I have to admit that #4 really pisses me off. I cannot control when I start crying, so don't accuse me of using it as a weapon when I do.


then grow the fark up
 
2012-07-03 12:29:53 PM  
I'm sorry what were you saying Lindy? Could we wait until the commercials to talk about this?
 
2012-07-03 12:29:56 PM  

RembrandtQEinstein: Advice for women, don't talk to men about the following subjects:

1. your friends (unless they are hot) or their children
2. your relatives (unless they are rich and could potentially give us lewt when the die) or their children
3. your job/coworkers (unless someone is harassing you and needs a cockpunch)
4. your problems (unless you want us to come up with a solution, if you "just want to talk about it" you have a phone with your mother or a girlfriend on speed dial)

And don't talk about anything under the following circumstances

1. when we are watching a screen (tv, sports, computer, video games)
2. when we are fixing things
3. when we are reading
4. when our eyes are closed

The only acceptable action while we are engaging in these activities is to quietly leave a cold beer, with opener if it is a bottle, somewhere in our peripheral vision. But not somewhere we can knock it over by turning around.

If you care about the happiness of your man you will follow these rules, if you don't then you will get offended by this list.


*prints and places on fridge door*
 
2012-07-03 12:31:19 PM  

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: wingedkat: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.

I can't imagine what reading fark is like for you. It must be like a completely different site.

Indeed. My version of Fark is a comforting, serene site that I can visit to find useful information on any problems I might have. The forums are blessedly free of any kind of bigotry, and the threads are full of well-reasoned arguments that are supported by objective evidence. There are also lolcat pictures.


Oh. Like /b on 4chan? Sounds nice actually.
 
2012-07-03 12:31:43 PM  

URAPNIS: RembrandtQEinstein: Advice for women, don't talk to men about the following subjects:

1. your friends (unless they are hot) or their children
2. your relatives (unless they are rich and could potentially give us lewt when the die) or their children
3. your job/coworkers (unless someone is harassing you and needs a cockpunch)
4. your problems (unless you want us to come up with a solution, if you "just want to talk about it" you have a phone with your mother or a girlfriend on speed dial)

And don't talk about anything under the following circumstances

1. when we are watching a screen (tv, sports, computer, video games)
2. when we are fixing things
3. when we are reading
4. when our eyes are closed

The only acceptable action while we are engaging in these activities is to quietly leave a cold beer, with opener if it is a bottle, somewhere in our peripheral vision. But not somewhere we can knock it over by turning around.

If you care about the happiness of your man you will follow these rules, if you don't then you will get offended by this list.

*prints and places on fridge door*


*goes home to find a uhaul van full of all his wife's stuff, while his house and all his possessions are consumed by a blazing inferno*
 
2012-07-03 12:32:02 PM  

Eternal Virgin: Women are stupid.


Your login/comment combo play well together.
 
2012-07-03 12:32:04 PM  

URAPNIS: Strategeryz0r: URAPNIS: cowsspinach: Meh. I only ask of one thing. No vulgar jokes when I'm around or in front of my friends. If he can't do that then he's out. So far...So great.

I find that hard to believe.
One requirement? LOL

And no vulgar jokes? That's a horrible requirement.

Granted, but still!


I've been told I'm a difficult person to date(which I admit I am at times) but I'm not going to date a loud mouth guy who's yelling vulgar jokes.
 
2012-07-03 12:33:11 PM  

God Is My Co-Pirate: R.A.Danny: gamergirl23: The Singing Bush: gamergirl23: The Singing Bush: I think it's hilarious that she doesn't follow number 9. My wife is terrible about this -

Me: Where do you want to go to dinner?
Her: I don't know, I'm not sure what I want
Me: How about here, or here, or here, or here, or here?
Her: No, none of those sound good.
Me: Well what do you want?
Her: Why can't YOU make a decision?
Me - head asplode

This is why one should have a default food/drink/activity. If you don't care but someone really wants you to pick, you just pick that to politely prevent them from going insane.

Tried that - she'll come back with "but we just did that like 6 months ago"

I don't know. Have her keep a list of her favorite restaurants in the car with the dates you last visited them?

My rule: If you make me choose where to go, you shut up about where we're going.

Otherwise I'd be happy to work with you towards picking a place, but don't tell me to choose unless you're ready to shut up and eat some damn BBQ.

Okay, you want to knnow what's going on in our heads during this scenario?

1) We want a place with the right atmosphere to suit our mood (and our clothes and transport)
2) We want a menu that's right for our food/guilt issues (if I'm feeling fat, I don't want BBQ, but I also want you to be happy so I make you pick)
3) We want you to pick because it means you've put thought into it - planning something is more romantic than just ending up wherever's closest
4) If we have kids or not a lot of money, so we're not going out too often, it increases the pressure to have everything go perfectly

I'm not saying it's not crazy, but there you go. Just say "I've heard there's a great new place just opened. I've booked us a table for Friday."


And thus the crazy demonstrates itself. It's no wonder you ladies are walking balls of angst if this is the kind of baggage you tack on to something as simple as where to eat.

Men only have four criteria for where to eat:

1) How hungry am I?
2) Can I afford it?
3) How close is it?
4) Does it sound tasty right now?

If a woman is involved the only new factor is:

5) Would she like to eat that?

Four of those questions we can answer for ourselves. The fifth one we answer by simply ASKING YOU!

Then you fark up a simple procedure by complicating it with all your emotional bullshiat.
 
2012-07-03 12:33:18 PM  
You Just Don't Understand

While the book is about how men and women use language differently, the author explores cultural experiences that lead to the difference. As such, it's like reading the other team's playbook.

The men who read the book tell me "Wow! So that's why."

The women who read the book tell me "It doesn't matter, men are just wrong."

I found it very useful in reducing the pain in the ass that is communicating with women.

/I know, not funny, but it could change your life.
//or not
 
2012-07-03 12:33:19 PM  

Yanks_RSJ: urbangirl: Maybe because we need to verbalizing about a problem in order to get it out of our system and not because we're looking for a "fix".

Not being a smart ass, honestly trying to offer a female viewpoint.

Male viewpoint: verbalize it to someone else. We're not your sounding board. When you're ready to actually deal with the problem, come find us.


Since you didn't like urbangirl's response, let me try:

What you're saying here (as far as I can tell) is that you have little interest in providing emotional support to your partner or spouse. She comes in, looking for a bit of sympathy while she tries to work through her emotions from the day (theoretically so they won't continue to bother her), and you tell her to take it somewhere else. This begins to create emotional distance between you, as she now feels that she can no longer tell you when she's upset about something unless it's something that takes no more time to emotionally work out than it would take to change the oil in a car.

Growing up, it was my father who would need to rant about how bad work was and it was my mother who had the fixer personality, so I've seen her frustration in trying to deal with a person who didn't want his problems fixed too. But being that she was his wife and had promised to provide him emotional comfort and support until death, she listened quietly, murmuring sympathetic statements, and then would go make dinner.
 
2012-07-03 12:33:28 PM  
#5 is so meta it draws the whole article into question.
 
2012-07-03 12:34:13 PM  

cowsspinach: URAPNIS: Strategeryz0r: URAPNIS: cowsspinach: Meh. I only ask of one thing. No vulgar jokes when I'm around or in front of my friends. If he can't do that then he's out. So far...So great.

I find that hard to believe.
One requirement? LOL

And no vulgar jokes? That's a horrible requirement.

Granted, but still!

I've been told I'm a difficult person to date(which I admit I am at times) but I'm not going to date a loud mouth guy who's yelling vulgar jokes.


Well yelling yes, that's in poor taste. But the simple re-telling of a most excellent, yet extraordinarily dirty, joke can spice up an otherwise boring evening of.. I don't know. I picture you being the wine tasting type?

I mean what about a nice, well mannered, man who enjoys vulgar jokes and tells them at an acceptable volume?
 
2012-07-03 12:35:11 PM  

urbangirl: Maybe because we need to verbalizing about a problem in order to get it out of our system and not because we're looking for a "fix".

Not being a smart ass, honestly trying to offer a female viewpoint.


And this is what I can't understand. If you have a problem, why would you NOT want a fix to it? It makes absolutely no sense.

As I stated in my original post, I got the message. I stopped offering problem resolution years ago. Just saying it makes no sense.
 
2012-07-03 12:35:17 PM  
#10 does have some truth to it... single people engage in different activities than those in a relationship. Not every activity is different, but single people do go out to places for the purpose of meeting other single people. If you meet your girl in a bar where you go all the time to get drunk and hit on women, she isn't going to want you to keep going there. And you're not going to want her to keep going there either. But if those are the activities that made you attracted to the person in the first place, then it's just a recipe for disdaster. It's like Monica's ex on Friends, Fun Bobby. She was attracted to him, asked him to change himself, then broke up with him because now he was boring.
 
2012-07-03 12:36:37 PM  

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Indeed. My version of Fark is a comforting, serene site that I can visit to find useful information on any problems I might have. The forums are blessedly free of any kind of bigotry, and the threads are full of well-reasoned arguments that are supported by objective evidence. There are also lolcat pictures.


huh. It sounds nice. maybe a bit boring? I mean, I come to fark for the snark and trolling and arguing.
 
2012-07-03 12:38:45 PM  

RembrandtQEinstein: And don't talk about anything under the following circumstances

1. when we are watching a screen (tv, sports, computer, video games)
2. when we are fixing things
3. when we are reading
4. when our eyes are closed


I don't mind them talking to me, but... get my attention first! Say, "hey..." and when I look at you, then start talking. I hate that when they just start talking, and a few seconds go by before you realize what's going on... you've now missed the beginning and if you say "hang on, start over..." they get all mad. It's the assumption that everything they want or need or are doing is ALWAYS more important than anything you may be doing at the time.
 
2012-07-03 12:39:04 PM  
I think it's long past time for a little Charlene to put things in perspective.

Never Been to Me.

Hey lady, you, lady, cursin' at your life
You're a discontented mother and a regimented wife
I've no doubt you dream about the things you never do
But I wish someone had a talk to me like I wanna talk to you

Ooh I've been to Georgia and California, oh, anywhere I could run
Took the hand of a preacherman and we made love in the sun
But I ran out of places and friendly faces because I had to be free
I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me

Please lady, please, lady, don't just walk away '
Cause I have this need to tell you why I'm all alone today
I can see so much of me still living in your eyes
Won't you share a part of a weary heart that has lived a million lies

Oh I've been to Nice and the isle of Greece
Where I sipped champagne on a yacht
I moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed 'em what I've got
I've been undressed by kings and I've seen some things That a woman ain't s'posed to see
I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me


Hey, you know what paradise is?
It's a lie A fantasy we create about people and places as we'd like them to be
But you know what truth is? It's that little baby you're holding,
and it's that man you fought with this morning
The same one you're going to make love with tonight.
That's truth, that's love


Sometimes I've been to cryin' for unborn children
That might have made me complete
But I, I took the sweet life and never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet
I spent my life exploring the subtle whoring that cost too much to be free
Hey lady, I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me

I've been to paradise - never been to me (I've been to Georgia and California, and anywhere I could run)
I've been to paradise - never been to me (I've been to Nice and the isle of Greece While I sipped champagne on a yacht)

I've been to paradise - never been to me (I've been to cryin' for unborn children ) (Fade)



Have you ever been to you? Well?
 
2012-07-03 12:39:06 PM  

Strategeryz0r: Though I think I figured it out, and the problem will never go away. It's my DJ'ing. Lately she's started taking notice of women, including her own friggen friends, who have... how to say this. Taken an interest in me? One of her close friends in particular has started dishing out insanely long hugs to me, while she pats my wife on the back real quick. Let it be known that I am one of the single most loyal men on the entire planet.


We went out with another couple this weekend, and when we exchanged hugs, the other guy's wife kissed me on the neck.

That was a little weird.

RembrandtQEinstein: Advice for women, don't talk to men about the following subjects:

1. your friends (unless they are hot) or their children
2. your relatives (unless they are rich and could potentially give us lewt when the die) or their children


For three years, I've been trying to explain to her why detailed personal anecdotes about people I don't know are difficult to listen to for any length of time.

This is especially true when you've already told me this story. If you're in the story or I have met or am about to meet this person, honey, it's OK, but that's never the case. I just don't care what your cousin in Australia does for a living.
 
2012-07-03 12:39:31 PM  

tricycleracer: "You want us to change, and then lose respect for us when we do."

Well, you do get the whole "OMG firefighters are teh sexy" followed by "Please stop running into burning buildings, baby. It's dangerous and I don't want to lose you."

And then she goes and bangs a racecar driver.


Yeah...uh, wait, WHAT??!!
 
2012-07-03 12:39:38 PM  

Savage Bacon: Me: Where do you want to go to dinner?
Her: I don't know, I'm not sure what I want
Me: How about here, or here, or here, or here, or here?
Her: No, none of those sound good.
Me: Well what do you want?
Her: Why can't YOU make a decision?
Me - head asplode


UGH, this happens to us ALL the time, genders reversed though.

/ Love him wildly anyway
 
2012-07-03 12:39:56 PM  

fortheloveofgod: If you have a problem, why would you NOT want a fix to it?


Because then they wouldn't have anything to biatch about. Duh.
 
Displayed 50 of 618 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report