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(Jezebel)   "Women's Ten Biggest Complaints About Men's Ten Biggest Complaints About Women." Or, how to create an internet flame war the likes of which God has never seen   (jezebel.com) divider line 618
    More: Interesting, flame wars, gender stereotypes, eHarmony, complaints  
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19210 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jul 2012 at 10:41 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-03 11:56:51 AM

Strategeryz0r: padraig: Strategeryz0r: 8. "You don't understand and/or like our need for alone time."

With, again literally, every girl I've ever been with my alone time is often time used to perfect my DJ'ing. Which is something I use as a bit of a side business for extra income.

I'm a very lucky man in that my s.o. does not fit most of those stereotypes (she sure do love to talk about her day, but that remains at a sane level), but the greatest thing about her is that WE BOTH NEED ALONE TIME.

So yeah, I can spend a few hours on my novel, videogames, reading a book or webbrowsing, because at the same time, she's either playing the guitar, solitaire, videogames or reading a book.

I envy you sir. I try to get alone time and if they aren't complaining that I'm acting "weird" by wanting to be alone, they're saying "well what do I do? I have nothing!"

I'm sorry.. is it suddenly my fault you have no hobbies or aspirations in life? No.. Maybe you should find some.. You know.. With your alone time?


Um...hate to say this, but your pick in women sucks. Try to find a decent honest woman. We are out there.

The entire description sounds like my ex however. That's why he's an ex. Well, that and he beat the snot out of me.

Stupid shallow article is stupid and shallow.

Not all men suck and are stupid
Not all women suck and are stupid
 
2012-07-03 11:57:04 AM

Jixa: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 640x853]
I'm surprised this wasn't on the list.

I'm out numbered 3-1 at home, so this is a re-occurring issue.

/married peoples' problems


I always put the seat down. Women are incapable of watching where they put their asses and must be protected.
 
2012-07-03 11:57:07 AM

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.


That's so cute :) You are here specifically for those comments. There is no way you are going to put the greater assholes among us on ignore, just like you aren't going to turn off Rush Limbaugh. You love the anger, you need the anger.

It's cool, different strokes and all.
 
2012-07-03 11:57:08 AM

Jixa: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 640x853]
I'm surprised this wasn't on the list.

I'm out numbered 3-1 at home, so this is a re-occurring issue.

/married peoples' problems


it's 2 dudes, 1 girl in my house, and it's my rule that the lid/seat is always always down when not in use.

mainly because my son has his hands on his junk every moment of the day...except for when he pees.
 
2012-07-03 11:57:27 AM

Yanks_RSJ: urbangirl: Maybe because we need to verbalizing about a problem in order to get it out of our system and not because we're looking for a "fix".

Not being a smart ass, honestly trying to offer a female viewpoint.

Male viewpoint: verbalize it to someone else. We're not your sounding board. When you're ready to actually deal with the problem, come find us.


Wow. Because everyone who isn't exactly like you is wrong.
How's that working for ya?
 
2012-07-03 11:57:56 AM

Jixa: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 640x853]
I'm surprised this wasn't on the list.

I'm out numbered 3-1 at home, so this is a re-occurring issue.

/married peoples' problems


I have my own bathroom but if not, I'd put both the lid and the seat down.
That way, we're both inconvenienced.
 
2012-07-03 11:58:35 AM

BurnShrike: Nogale: BurnShrike: urbangirl: honestly trying to offer a female viewpoint.

[www.glasswings.com image 640x480]

That is a horrible sink. ALL that space, and it's so small? The sink itself should be twice as big, and the faucet should be taller. I can't tell what it's made of, but if it's not stainless steel - it should be. I can totally understand why the woman who uses that sink is PO'd.

Typical woman. Complaining about the picture I chose to make a joke. I did a quick search and grabbed the first one I saw that displayed what I wanted it to.

/i completely agree with your points though


Aha - but I communicated my disapproval of the sink clearly, citing specifics, with suggestions for what should be improved. I suppose a lot of women would just get mad at the guy (even if he's not the one who designed the kitchen) for not divining that it's not the most comfortable workspace.

Protip: The person who uses the kitchen most gets final say. My friend's ex, an architect, designed their kitchen renovation without consulting her. All the shelves were too narrow to hold her pots ;-)
 
2012-07-03 11:58:45 AM

Thorak: 4) If the guy is the one making the decisions, as you're describing, then ALL of this pressure is being placed on his shoulders, with the added pressure of not tripping any of our emotional mines that will set off a fight. Which is why we'd just rather you say you want to go to the Thai place on Main St. without making us guess that that's where you really want to go tonight for a whole bunch of little reasons you haven't told us about.


Look, people -- when a woman tells you she wants you to make a decision about where to eat dinner, then criticizes your decision, YOU ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT DINNER.

You are PRETENDING to talk about dinner.

However, you are ACTUALLY talking about whether you are a suitable mate for her. This is a TEST of your manhood.

If you take the bait and actually debate the merits of Dinner A versus Dinner B, then you are MISSING THE ENTIRE POINT.

You are having two completely different conversations. You are trying to exchange information. She is trying to define your relationship.

What she is REALLY saying is: "I suspect you of being indecisive and ineffectual, and thus an inferior choice as mate. Please assume benevolent command over me."

This is what 90% of your conversations will actually be about -- defining the nature of your relationship. This is true regardless of the actual "content" of the words you two may speak, which count for virtually nothing.

Continuing to converse with her as you would with a man and a peer is a BAD IDEA. Do not appeal to reason. Do not appeal to fairness. Do not appeal to logical or historical consistency. Do not provide or solicit information. Doing so will only lead to frustration on your part, and frustration on her part.
 
2012-07-03 11:59:23 AM

hasty ambush: College/Universities are the worse. There is probably no hostile place for men particularly white men than modern academia. Gender studies anyone?


If you stay out of the circlejerky subjects it's fine. History happened. Physics exists. But WTF is "sociology"? The harder to define a field, the more it becomes a political movement masquerading as a field of study.
 
2012-07-03 11:59:24 AM

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: 77+ comments, and I'm the only one stating they found identifying which line was from the guy or the girl confusing. I am that dumb.


I had the same problem. Near as I can tell, I've been on the guy side of most of these in most of my relationships.
 
2012-07-03 11:59:27 AM

The Singing Bush: I think it's hilarious that she doesn't follow number 9. My wife is terrible about this -

Me: Where do you want to go to dinner?
Her: I don't know, I'm not sure what I want
Me: How about here, or here, or here, or here, or here?
Her: No, none of those sound good.
Me: Well what do you want?
Her: Why can't YOU make a decision?
Me - head asplode


I used to love that comnversation with my ex. My advice is never point that you moved to your neighborhood together and only know the same places.
 
2012-07-03 11:59:48 AM

padraig: Okay, just for the fun of it, but : has any man here ever tried to turn the tables on their s.o. .? By that, I mean rant endlessly about your own problem of the day, not letting her a word in edgewise, and getting offended if she offers a suggestion ?


Towards the end of my marriage, I did change tactics on the constant barrage of arguments. I simply gave in. Told her she was right. Conceded that I'd been selfish or bullheaded or simply hadn't thought enough ahead.

This wasn't what she wanted to hear in the least. If anything, that only fired her up more.

Because she wasn't looking to be right. She was looking for an excuse to end the marriage. If anything, my conceding her points, it only made her angrier, because she had to take further steps to justify ending things. Which, we finally got to, and THEN we had more rational discussions on how to end things properly.

She needed to be a victim. She had to be victim, because otherwise, she'd have to admit that she was looking to end the marriage, and that would mean that somewhere up the line, she'd failed. That was an ugly realization, and that didn't come for years after we split--and in the midst of all that, I found myself at the end of all sorts of accusations.

We had always argued. We prided ourselves on calling each other on our bullsh*t. She got to a point, where she didn't want to be called on it. She got to a point where she just wanted to have her way, all the time, even if it was selfish, even if it was foolish, even if it was wasteful, and even if it cost us friends.

The marriage died for more reasons than that. In the end, she HAD to be right for her world to work. Even if she was in the wrong, she HAD to be right. She needed to be a victim, and justified, and if that meant making things up to supply those reasons, then that was fine. It took years for folks to realize that I wasn't abusive. It took years for folks who knew us to realize that half of what she told them were the reasons for the split weren't remotely true. She NEEDED to be a "strong woman standing up for herself" even though I supported her business, I bought her cars, I paid for her insurance, I paid for her medical, and had a great job with people that loved her. It wasn't enough, because she needed to be climbing over adversity, and if there wasn't adversity to climb over, she made it.

I did get tired of that. And in the end, I gave in. I let her rant and rave and by not fighting back, that only forced her hand further. Without an excuse, she simply made them up. And THAT gave her the outward justification to end things, so that she could preserve her image to folks outside. And THAT was perhaps the real reason that we had to split. She was far more interested in her place as a "strong woman" than being in marriage with someone who loved her. Supporting her was a crutch she didn't want--it undermined her even. She loved the illusion far more than the reality, and that was the final straw.

I'm a bit more careful with the girl folk now. Current one is younger, but she requires an honesty that is absolute and total, and that means cutting through a lot of illusion, not supporting it. I had my own issues in the marriage to be sure, and I cop to them readily, but no more will I support someone's image over the relationship.
 
2012-07-03 11:59:55 AM

wingedkat: The Singing Bush: I think it's hilarious that she doesn't follow number 9. My wife is terrible about this -

Me: Where do you want to go to dinner?
Her: I don't know, I'm not sure what I want
Me: How about here, or here, or here, or here, or here?
Her: No, none of those sound good.
Me: Well what do you want?
Her: Why can't YOU make a decision?
Me - head asplode

My boyfriend does this same exact thing. Drives me nuts.

Which is the point of TFA, once you get past all the venting. Most of these are complaints about human behaviors, not male/female.


My girlfriend likes to ask, provide options, then when I pick one, she throws extra options on the table because she thinks I don't want the selection I made.

Me: Where are we fooding tonight?
Her: I don't care, what sounds good to you?
Me: Not feeling terribly picky, just as long as it's good.
Her: Ok, well what about italian or BBQ?
Me: Lets do BBQ.
Her: Or we could do chinese, mexican, mediterranean.
Me: I just said BBQ...
Her: I just want you to want whatever we eat!
Me: Did I not just pick BBQ?
Her: But you didn't sound like you really want it.
Me: *sigh*
 
2012-07-03 11:59:59 AM

urbangirl: Maybe because we need to verbalizing about a problem in order to get it out of our system and not because we're looking for a "fix".


But if you have a problem, why wouldn't you want to fix it? And if its not enough of a problem to fix, then why the fark do we need to talk about it all the gorram time?
 
2012-07-03 12:01:01 PM

R.A.Danny: Strategeryz0r: Yet another absurd female double standard. Seriously if it weren't for vagina's we'd all be gay.

You forgot tits.


This is why being gay simply cannot be a choice. If being gay were a choice, there would be no straight men.
 
2012-07-03 12:01:06 PM

BurnShrike: urbangirl: honestly trying to offer a female viewpoint.

[www.glasswings.com image 640x480]


Could you please send a girl over to clean my keyboard and screen?

Thanks, you funny bastard.
 
2012-07-03 12:01:15 PM

Oldiron_79: One thats always bugged me is that most women who like to biatch and moan about how guys are so picky about looks (weight mainly) but most women strait up will not go out with a Red headed man. If you wanna biatch about us not farking fatties you need to go fark a ginger.


Actually I had a major thing for gingers most of my life. True story. Half my exes were redheaded boys.

/mmmmm ginger
//Shaun white is teh secksy
 
2012-07-03 12:02:24 PM

ignatius_crumbcake: urbangirl: Maybe because we need to verbalizing about a problem in order to get it out of our system and not because we're looking for a "fix".

But if you have a problem, why wouldn't you want to fix it? And if its not enough of a problem to fix, then why the fark do we need to talk about it all the gorram time?


Guys fix stuff. That's what we do. You already know we don't listen.
 
2012-07-03 12:02:34 PM
Except for women, of course, who need to change the ten things in this list IMMEDIATELY or risk never being on the receiving end of Grant Langston, Sr Director, Content's directed content ever again.

Like in the sarcasm above, women turn things personal, and attack the speaker personally so quickly when he says something they don't like. Argue the issue? No, attack the man personally, all while pretending that they're trying to argue the issue. Men do the same thing--attack the speaker, call her fat or ugly -- but no one takes that seriously as an argument, just as what it is, idiocy. Yet women are allowed to say "good luck ever getting a date with that attitude" and people are supposed to say "yeah, no kidding" rather than "what the hell does that have to do with the merits of the issue?"
 
2012-07-03 12:02:52 PM

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.


Everything burns.
Or Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
 
2012-07-03 12:03:04 PM

ignatius_crumbcake: R.A.Danny: Strategeryz0r: Yet another absurd female double standard. Seriously if it weren't for vagina's we'd all be gay.

You forgot tits.

This is why being gay simply cannot be a choice. If being gay were a choice, there would be no straight men.


This. I want to fark a low-drama cyclists who loves videogames. I can think of a half-dozen men in my office who'd fit that description. I can't think of any women in my life who do.

Curse my heterosexuality.
 
2012-07-03 12:03:25 PM
Meh,
there is no god and anyway who says other wise is a fool.
 
2012-07-03 12:03:28 PM
Women are stupid.
 
2012-07-03 12:03:51 PM

Slaves2Darkness: Meh,
there is no god and anyway who says other wise is a fool.


How relevant.
 
2012-07-03 12:04:04 PM

urbangirl: Wow. Because everyone who isn't exactly like you is wrong.
How's that working for ya?


This is the absolute PERFECT response. You gave the female viewpoint, I countered with the male viewpoint, and you decided that I was saying you were wrong.

My assumption is that you think we should cater to your viewpoint, and that you don't feel the need to understand ours at all.
 
2012-07-03 12:04:22 PM
After reading just a few of these posts, I can honestly say that I am so grateful to be in a wonderful relationship. It really makes life so much easier.
 
2012-07-03 12:05:07 PM

Phinn:
Continuing to converse with her as you would with a man and a peer is a BAD IDEA. Do not appeal to reason. Do not appeal to fairness. Do not appeal to logical or historical consistency. Do not provide or solicit information. Doing so will only lead to frustration on your part, and frustration on her part.


I wonder what it says about my current relationship when she says she's not in the mood for choices 1 or 2 (or sometimes 3 or 4). I tell her what I'm making and if she doesn't want it she's on her own.
If that makes me an insuitable mate, I've got bad news for everyone...
 
2012-07-03 12:05:12 PM
Alright, folks, hands up if you've been with a person who freaks out for a problem for longer than it would take to fix it.
 
2012-07-03 12:05:23 PM

imfallen_angel: Overall, all these questions and all answers end up being application to both men and women.....

[snip]

So overall, all these are about maturity....


That's a big yeparooni there good buddy. Honesty, and the maturity to mutually recognize when it is happening, goes a long way to making all of these "issues" not even crop up in the first place. And if they do, it's not going to work anyway.
 
2012-07-03 12:05:27 PM

Christian Bale: This article just shows how men aren't allowed to have ANY complaints about women, otherwise you are a misogynist, and wrong. Only women can complain about men -- all men, in one big generalization -- and expect to be have their complaints not just taken seriously, but acknowledged as fact. And if you don't acknowledge those complaints? You're a misogynist, and wrong.



this sums up my relationship with ms. queso. when she is upset with me, it is because i am an asshole. when i am upset with her, it is because i am an asshole. her willingness to say the most incredibly hurtful things imaginable is laughable.

fortunately it is generally only 24-48 hours out of each month. the rest of the time we are golden.
 
2012-07-03 12:05:54 PM
Get the author some Midol... stat.
 
2012-07-03 12:05:58 PM

mcwehrle: Strategeryz0r: padraig: Strategeryz0r: 8. "You don't understand and/or like our need for alone time."

With, again literally, every girl I've ever been with my alone time is often time used to perfect my DJ'ing. Which is something I use as a bit of a side business for extra income.

I'm a very lucky man in that my s.o. does not fit most of those stereotypes (she sure do love to talk about her day, but that remains at a sane level), but the greatest thing about her is that WE BOTH NEED ALONE TIME.

So yeah, I can spend a few hours on my novel, videogames, reading a book or webbrowsing, because at the same time, she's either playing the guitar, solitaire, videogames or reading a book.

I envy you sir. I try to get alone time and if they aren't complaining that I'm acting "weird" by wanting to be alone, they're saying "well what do I do? I have nothing!"

I'm sorry.. is it suddenly my fault you have no hobbies or aspirations in life? No.. Maybe you should find some.. You know.. With your alone time?

Um...hate to say this, but your pick in women sucks. Try to find a decent honest woman. We are out there.

The entire description sounds like my ex however. That's why he's an ex. Well, that and he beat the snot out of me.

Stupid shallow article is stupid and shallow.

Not all men suck and are stupid
Not all women suck and are stupid


Oh believe me I know. Hence why I keep reiterating I'm not saying these things to make inflammatory statements, it's a matter of my personal experience. It's terrifying when you look at my history, truly. The sad reality is for the first 2 years of my marriage I thought I finally broke the pattern with my wife. Lately though, she's beginning to act like every single ex I have(of which there are MANY).

Though I think I figured it out, and the problem will never go away. It's my DJ'ing. Lately she's started taking notice of women, including her own friggen friends, who have... how to say this. Taken an interest in me? One of her close friends in particular has started dishing out insanely long hugs to me, while she pats my wife on the back real quick. Let it be known that I am one of the single most loyal men on the entire planet. I am, honest to god, as loyal as a puppy dog. I have been cheated on and I hated every second of it. If I am with a someone, I am with them. That part of my brain that looks at women as sexual conquests is very easy for me to turn off, so much so that I don't even notice their advances on me when they occur.

My wife is slowly coming to terms with the fact that she has nothing to worry about. But the reality is that built in female jealousy she has never seems to go away. One second she'll be telling me how amazing it is to be with someone that she knows will never cheat on her. The next she'll be incessantly biatching about how that girl across the room wont stop looking at me, and it's making her so uncomfortable that we need to leave.

Seriously.. special breed of crazy... I attract it.
 
2012-07-03 12:06:39 PM
It's 4th of July week, and here in NYC it seems that there are more women than men on the subways and walking around. I'm getting glances at a rate 10 times normal. Is it possible that women who aren't on vacation with a significant other are pining for more attention than usual?
I like my odds. I don't remember this happening in past NYC summers.
Was there an article somewhere? Oh yeah. When I was reading it I felt the same as when I clicked on an Urban Baby link, which required an immediate beer and a break from the internet.
Her last 4 points were complaining and whiny, and few of them actually addressed the concern at hand. Waaa waaa waaa
 
2012-07-03 12:06:52 PM
kiwimoogle84: Oldiron_79: One thats always bugged me is that most women who like to biatch and moan about how guys are so picky about looks (weight mainly) but most women strait up will not go out with a Red headed man. If you wanna biatch about us not farking fatties you need to go fark a ginger.

Actually I had a major thing for gingers most of my life. True story. Half my exes were redheaded boys.

/mmmmm ginger
//Shaun white is teh secksy


Well, how are you doin?
 
2012-07-03 12:06:56 PM

sandi_fish: After reading just a few of these posts, I can honestly say that I am so grateful to be in a wonderful relationship. It really makes life so much easier.


yeah me too!

Though I suppose I should be ashamed for wallowing in the mud.
I'm just going to rationalize it as good for my skin
 
2012-07-03 12:07:06 PM

R.A.Danny: Jixa: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 640x853]
I'm surprised this wasn't on the list.

I'm out numbered 3-1 at home, so this is a re-occurring issue.

/married peoples' problems

I always put the seat down. Women are incapable of watching where they put their asses and must be protected.


That used to be my position on the subject, but then I went to take a dump, drunk, in the dark one night, and almost fell in. Let me tell you, it's a scarey sensation when your ass keeps going when you expected it to stop.

Now I understand why my wife and daughter complain about it so much.

//Besides, if women were careful about where they put their asses, you would never stand a chance of scoring.
 
2012-07-03 12:07:28 PM

Jormungandr: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.

Everything burns.
Or Irritable Bowel Syndrome.


Naga Bhut Jolokia....God's gift to the world.
 
2012-07-03 12:07:34 PM

ignatius_crumbcake: urbangirl: Maybe because we need to verbalizing about a problem in order to get it out of our system and not because we're looking for a "fix".

But if you have a problem, why wouldn't you want to fix it? And if its not enough of a problem to fix, then why the fark do we need to talk about it all the gorram time?


The point is that (generally) the female mind doesnt work the same way that (generally) the male mind works. We dont understand a lot of things about you either. Just accept the differences and deal with it -- there is no right or wrong.

And yes, this advice applies to women too.
 
2012-07-03 12:07:42 PM

The Singing Bush: I think it's hilarious that she doesn't follow number 9. My wife is terrible about this -

Me: Where do you want to go to dinner?
Her: I don't know, I'm not sure what I want
Me: How about here, or here, or here, or here, or here?
Her: No, none of those sound good.
Me: Well what do you want?
Her: Why can't YOU make a decision?
Me - head asplode


You have to decide. That way if there is poor service, bad food, a long wait, fire, pestilence, or plague it is your fault and it can be held against you in perpetuity.
 
2012-07-03 12:07:44 PM

URAPNIS: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.

I like to ignore people for voicing an individually unpopular opinion too.


Me too. My delicate sensibilities can't handle other people disagreeing with me. They are just big poopie heads.

/going to go have a good cry now
 
2012-07-03 12:08:14 PM
Nutsac_Jim: Oldiron_79: One thats always bugged me is that most women who like to biatch and moan about how guys are so picky about looks (weight mainly) but most women strait up will not go out with a Red headed man. If you wanna biatch about us not farking fatties you need to go fark a ginger.

Hot Red Head Thread!


Rick Rolls are so 2003
 
2012-07-03 12:08:15 PM

Nana's Vibrator: Problem solving or just listening to venting, I can't figure out the difference. I don't bother either way. Whether it's venting or not, she's going to recap her entire day to you. If you listen, you know every one of her work tasks and every one of her coworkers' names and all the family goings on. It can't be a coincidence that I've only dated women who do this. It's universal right?


Yes, it's universal. With mine, When she comes out of the grocery store I'll hear all about how the cashier's best friend has a cousin who is pregnant out of wedlock and doesn't know if she should have the baby or not. It takes every ounce of my will not to shout AND I CARE ABOUT THAT, WHY?!

And the second half of this is - when I get home from work she wants me to recap my entire day to her. The last thing that I want to do after I get home from work is to re-live that god awful day! As soon as I walk in the door I want to forget about work entirely.
 
2012-07-03 12:09:15 PM

Nana's Vibrator: Yanks_RSJ:
It must be. One of my exes was having an issue with her boss that essentially came down to her "being mean" or some crap like that. Every day I got to hear a complete rundown of what her boss did to her, and every day I said, "you should go talk to her" or something to that effect.

Finally, I got fed up with it and just said, "look, I'm not one of your girlfriends, if you don't actually want my advice, don't come to me with the same problem every single day when you haven't once attempted my suggested solution. Be an adult and talk to your boss or leave me out of it."

Of course that brought on the waterworks and a 3-hour fight about how I'm a jerk who can't be sympathetic. Which I guess was true, we don't have that instinct, at least not when there's a logical solution to a pitiful "problem".

What I don't get is the insistence of re-narrating the entirety of events while we were apart. When she asks how my day was, I say "OK" and move on unless it involved something on par with someone being fired or taken away in an ambulance.
Why the hell would anyone want to relive their work day...ESPECIALLY if it sucked so badly? And why is it not taken as a hint when I don't elaborate on my daily garbage that since I don't want to hear myself talk about highlights from my own day, why would I want to hear about each of the 600 minutes we were apart?


Many women have been trained (by other females and self-help books and talk shows) to believe that if you don't talk about every little thing, you're not communicating. Many seem to believe that if you leave anything unsaid/unexpressed, any thought, any emotion, any interaction, you're closed off emotionally or somesuch therapyspeak bullshiat. Many women, in fact, think of themselves as semi-expert therapists. They constantly solicit "problems" that they are convinced they can solve, and if you don't give them something, they think you're holding back just to spite them. It doesn't seem to occur to them that not everybody wants to wallow in misery and dysfunction, that some people deal with problems (esp. problems that can't necessarily be fixed, like work issues) by trying to forget them for awhile. They think constantly talking about something is doing some sort of good. It doesn't occur to them (because some of them are very slow) that fixating on problems doesn't = solving problems. And then they wonder (again, because they're slow) why women report being depressed more often than men. These women are convinced their way is healthier, all evidence to the contrary.
 
2012-07-03 12:09:51 PM

ignatius_crumbcake: R.A.Danny: Strategeryz0r: Yet another absurd female double standard. Seriously if it weren't for vagina's we'd all be gay.

You forgot tits.

This is why being gay simply cannot be a choice. If being gay were a choice, there would be no straight men.


I actually know a few gay guys that love tits. They're almost universally adored.
 
2012-07-03 12:10:42 PM

MrBallou: it's a scarey sensation when your ass keeps going when you expected it to stop.


I can't stop laughing at that.
 
2012-07-03 12:10:45 PM

R.A.Danny: ignatius_crumbcake: R.A.Danny: Strategeryz0r: Yet another absurd female double standard. Seriously if it weren't for vagina's we'd all be gay.

You forgot tits.

This is why being gay simply cannot be a choice. If being gay were a choice, there would be no straight men.

I actually know a few gay guys that love tits. They're almost universally adored.


To quote the great gay master spy Gillete.

"Girl please... Nobody is that gay."
 
2012-07-03 12:11:29 PM

R.A.Danny: ignatius_crumbcake: R.A.Danny: Strategeryz0r: Yet another absurd female double standard. Seriously if it weren't for vagina's we'd all be gay.

You forgot tits.

This is why being gay simply cannot be a choice. If being gay were a choice, there would be no straight men.

I actually know a few gay guys that love tits. They're almost universally adored.


Most gay guys I know appreciate women's bodies. They just don't want to have sex with them.
 
2012-07-03 12:11:43 PM

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.


i1172.photobucket.com

ive probably been ignored by you several times over by now, but just incase..... i would like you to know that it is a wasted day that goes by in which i do not offend a feminist to the point of furious unreasoning rage. Its a hobby to me.

my personal favorite was when i posted something that immediately got 5 feminist replies that were pure incoherent emotion. They were so angry that i had obliterated their view of the world that they took the time to get my post deleted and me banned for 48 hours. The amount of butt hurt i achieved with that one is one of my greatest accomplishments on fark.
 
2012-07-03 12:11:46 PM

hubiestubert: padraig: Okay, just for the fun of it, but : has any man here ever tried to turn the tables on their s.o. .? By that, I mean rant endlessly about your own problem of the day, not letting her a word in edgewise, and getting offended if she offers a suggestion ?

Towards the end of my marriage, I did change tactics on the constant barrage of arguments. I simply gave in. Told her she was right. Conceded that I'd been selfish or bullheaded or simply hadn't thought enough ahead.

This wasn't what she wanted to hear in the least. If anything, that only fired her up more.

Because she wasn't looking to be right. She was looking for an excuse to end the marriage. If anything, my conceding her points, it only made her angrier, because she had to take further steps to justify ending things. Which, we finally got to, and THEN we had more rational discussions on how to end things properly.

She needed to be a victim. She had to be victim, because otherwise, she'd have to admit that she was looking to end the marriage, and that would mean that somewhere up the line, she'd failed. That was an ugly realization, and that didn't come for years after we split--and in the midst of all that, I found myself at the end of all sorts of accusations.

We had always argued. We prided ourselves on calling each other on our bullsh*t. She got to a point, where she didn't want to be called on it. She got to a point where she just wanted to have her way, all the time, even if it was selfish, even if it was foolish, even if it was wasteful, and even if it cost us friends.

The marriage died for more reasons than that. In the end, she HAD to be right for her world to work. Even if she was in the wrong, she HAD to be right. She needed to be a victim, and justified, and if that meant making things up to supply those reasons, then that was fine. It took years for folks to realize that I wasn't abusive. It took years for folks who knew us to realize that half of what she told them were the reasons for ...


Holy crap. we were married to the same woman.
 
2012-07-03 12:12:14 PM

ha-ha-guy: wraithmare: Yep. Mrs. W. mentions an issue and seems a little upset. So I run through various solutions that seem quite logical to solve the issue. She gets upset that I'm trying to fix things, then I get upset she isn't listening and then it gets all quiet. Give it an hour, it's all good. See, I keep thinking like an engineer and trying to fix things. That is apparently the wrong answer.

The other thing to consider is if Mrs. W is really worked up over an issue it means she's spent hours (if not days) wrestling with the issue. When you fix it 5 minutes after hearing it, you make her feel really stupid. She's already emotional and now you made her feel stupid, bad things happen from there. The best bet is to be sympathetic and after a bit ask some leading questions to start getting her to realize the solution to her problems.


I'm sad that ha-ha-guy is married. I wish I could find a smart guy like him!

Oh and yes, both the original article&the response is shrill anti-other gender claptrap...but I'm enjoying the trolling and ignorance of y'all's posts :)
 
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