Hack Patooey: Missing is the classic "When did this start happening" redirection. i.e.

Man: XyZ is bothering me, can we talk about it?
Woman: When did this start being a problem?
Man: Not sure, a while, ago, but it needs to be addressed.
Woman: Why didn't you tell me before, before it became a problem?

...and then the conversation is no longer about the issue that *I* brought up, which never gets resolved.


Made me chuckled...

I've been a bit more harsh with my wife and the kids lately, as when some sort of dispute starts, I tend to assert my "maleness" and go with "I don't want to hear a long useless story, THIS is how it's gonna go"... and offer the quick and easy solution and I accept no arguments. I will listen to points, as long as they are in bullet form, also use the yes and no answers method... it gets things done a lot faster and I don't end up wanting to hit my head on the wall over things that should be trivial but somehow, become huge for them for no reason.

It's amazing how people over-complicate things.

gamergirl23: The Singing Bush: I think it's hilarious that she doesn't follow number 9. My wife is terrible about this -

Me: Where do you want to go to dinner?
Her: I don't know, I'm not sure what I want
Me: How about here, or here, or here, or here, or here?
Her: No, none of those sound good.
Me: Well what do you want?
Her: Why can't YOU make a decision?
Me - head asplode

This is why one should have a default food/drink/activity. If you don't care but someone really wants you to pick, you just pick that to politely prevent them from going insane.

Tried that - she'll come back with "but we just did that like 6 months ago"

9. "You have a complicated set of double standards."

yes, yes, yes, MORE YES! My wife does shiat like this ALL THE farkING TIME and it drives me batshiat crazy.

She gets waited on hand and foot after coming home from work, yet if she's been off for.. oh I dunno. FIVE CONSECUTIVE DAYS. And I want a brief reprieve from running around getting her shiat for her, since.. you know.. I WORK TOO, and am the primary breadwinner(she could lose her job, we'd be out a couple hundred bucks a month essentially) and suddenly I'm a selfish asshole who doesn't love her? fark you. I want to be able to relax a little too. Crap like this happens all the time, and has happened with every woman I've ever been with. Not to make some blatantly inflammatory statement(really I'm not trolling, i'd rather figure out why this is than biatch about it), but it's a simple trend I've noticed that I can honest to god apply to every chick I've ever dated. It's frightening how, when you point it out to them, they just act like this is the norm.


8. "You don't understand and/or like our need for alone time."

With, again literally, every girl I've ever been with my alone time is often time used to perfect my DJ'ing. Which is something I use as a bit of a side business for extra income.

Unfortunately I've never been able to replicate being single, as that's when I've always been at the top of my game. Why? Because every girl I've ever dated constantly keeps coming in while I'm working, interrupting my flow, and constantly asking me if something is wrong because I dared to spend 20 minutes in a room apart from them. Again, not trying to make a blatant inflammatory statement, this is just something that truly does apply to every woman I've ever dated.



Honestly those are the 2 points from the original article I pretty much completely agree with based on my own personal experience. YMMV, as all women are not the same. And I freely admit, I attract the crazies for some bizarre-o reason. But I really truly mean it when I say those 2 points apply to EVERY SINGLE WOMAN I HAVE EVER DATED, my wife is also included in this. Especially #8. My wife, when we first met, said alone time was something she felt was important. Yet every time I try to take advantage of some alone time to put in some work, she assumes something is wrong and has to constantly bother me.... Even when I've pointed out DOZENS of times that she's freaking out over absolutely nothing.

RumsfeldsReplacement: susansto-helit: I have to admit that #4 really pisses me off. I cannot control when I start crying, so don't accuse me of using it as a weapon when I do.

Fair enough, but don't get upset when men immediately stop the conversation at that point. Once the tears start, there is absolutely NO way that continuing could possibly work out well for the man.

And by that, all you're telling her is that she cannot have a conversation with you in which any kind of topic that might bring up any kind of emotion might be involved. I'm still perfectly rational while I'm crying. It's usually just an outward indicator that I'm angry. Do you end all conversations with everyone once one of you becomes angry?

77+ comments, and I'm the only one stating they found identifying which line was from the guy or the girl confusing. I am that dumb.

to the author of the TFA:

#5 Tendency to be critical

OH FARK yeah. Especially once they poop out a crotch-dropping, they feel like they are experts on everything and let the nagging and criticism incessantly fly. And they vote, as well.

Also, the chick's responses to the list are lame, lame, lame. That's the best she could come up with? Sounds like some sexless hen engaging in some premenstrual WRITER RAGE.

ha-ha-guy: WhippingBoy: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.

You know why there are so many hard-core "feminists" on Fark instead of sites like "Feministe" or "Feministing"?
Because in spite of all the misogynistic, body-shaming, slut-shaming, ableist, sexist, classist, racist comments by white, cis-gendered males, it STILL beats the hell out of listening to other "feminists" use every means necessary to rationalize their failures in life.

Bet you an internet we're both on ignore after the Shanghai subway thread.

/actually I should have her on ignore after it

I'm betting I'm there, too, after that thread. Logic and reality never mix well with feminism.

factoryconnection: I'd go even farther: her non-responses to several of those was effectively her agreeing with the original author. Sliding a one-liner jab in is not a rebuttal, but it is clear that she had no rebuttal to several of those.

"You're right about us, but fark you anyway because it's your fault we're like this."

- Every Jezebel column ever

Silenced is foo: susansto-helit: I have to admit that #4 really pisses me off. I cannot control when I start crying, so don't accuse me of using it as a weapon when I do.

The problem isn't the crying, the problem is continuing to fight and demand that you get what you want when you cry. When one partner explains their needs by calmly asserting their importance while the other one explains their needs by sobbing and freaking out? The latter always wins. It's an emotional game of chicken.

If you need to cry, then cry. But while you're crying, decisions need to be off the table.

It's not deliberate, though. That's the thing. Crying is an involuntary response in some people. It's not designed to control the situation or to try to win an argument. It just is. Why are you guys incapable of just ignoring it and continuing with the conversation?

Oldiron_79: One thats always bugged me is that most women who like to biatch and moan about how guys are so picky about looks (weight mainly) but most women strait up will not go out with a Red headed man. If you wanna biatch about us not farking fatties you need to go fark a ginger.

Hot Red Head Thread!

DecemberNitro: [www.wearysloth.com image 320x240]

We have biatch sign Usel

Death_Poot: Second wife? She doesn't pull that bullshiat. We disagree about stuff, but we also debate/argue in a sane manner.

Exactly. I married my wife because even though she does get emotional, she always knows when to step away. When it moves from "venting to me about something" to "venting at me for something" she'll put the brakes on, go do her thing for an hour and come back to talk. As I explained to many past girlfriends, "I have no problem if you vent about your problems to me. When you vent at me though you risk pushing me to a certain stage where I just walk away and never deal with your drama ridden ass again." I married the first one that actually grasped the difference between to and at.

The ones that bottle up their stress, wait you for you make a minor mistake, and then take everything out on you (using said mistake) as an excuse are the worst. If you're stuck with that kind of so, get the hell out now.

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.



you sound fat

Egoy3k: 2. "Your expectations are set by Hollywood and sky high."

They've been fed a fantasy about romance and passion for so long that when a REAL act of love comes down the pike, he notices that the tread on your tires is low and buys a new set, it hardly even registers.

SO SPECIFIC. IT'S ALL SO SPECIFIC. I'M SORRY YOU BOUGHT THAT UNGRATEFUL biatch SOME TIRES, OKAY? I'm willing to accept that it's mostly my fault she didn't like your tires, but how's about we call it bygones at this point?

This point, and the explanation included with it is 100% valid for a lot of women and many men as well.

The authors 'rebuttal' pretty much sums up why I think she's a moron.



As for the golf thing, again if she doesn't think this common she's a moron. Nothing bothers me more than trying to get a foursome together for golf and have to wait for the guys to ask permission from their wives or even worse have one bail at the last second because his wife is having an issue with him spending the morning with his friends. This applies to any activity that doesn't include the women. In all honestly this issue isn't the women's fault. This one lies at the feet of the pussy assholes they are married to or involved with.

Nothing wrong with checking with the misses to make sure you don't have plans, but the cancel one is always frustrating.

Strategeryz0r: 8. "You don't understand and/or like our need for alone time."

With, again literally, every girl I've ever been with my alone time is often time used to perfect my DJ'ing. Which is something I use as a bit of a side business for extra income.

I'm a very lucky man in that my s.o. does not fit most of those stereotypes (she sure do love to talk about her day, but that remains at a sane level), but the greatest thing about her is that WE BOTH NEED ALONE TIME.

So yeah, I can spend a few hours on my novel, videogames, reading a book or webbrowsing, because at the same time, she's either playing the guitar, solitaire, videogames or reading a book.

susansto-helit:

It's not deliberate, though. That's the thing. Crying is an involuntary response in some people. It's not designed to control the situation or to try to win an argument. It just is. Why are you guys incapable of just ignoring it and continuing with the conversation?

You could say the same about shouting and getting angry, though. If you're angry, you walk it off and calm down. If you're crying, you take a minute to collect yourself, blow your nose, have a hug, and resume the conversation after you've regained your composure.

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Jesus, these threads are a GOLDMINE for my ignore list.

Write something inflammatory. DO IT.

Who the fark are you for us to even care? Oh, gotcha some uber-dike who thinks her opinions matter more. Go invent something.

susansto-helit: Silenced is foo: susansto-helit: I have to admit that #4 really pisses me off. I cannot control when I start crying, so don't accuse me of using it as a weapon when I do.

The problem isn't the crying, the problem is continuing to fight and demand that you get what you want when you cry. When one partner explains their needs by calmly asserting their importance while the other one explains their needs by sobbing and freaking out? The latter always wins. It's an emotional game of chicken.

If you need to cry, then cry. But while you're crying, decisions need to be off the table.

It's not deliberate, though. That's the thing. Crying is an involuntary response in some people. It's not designed to control the situation or to try to win an argument. It just is. Why are you guys incapable of just ignoring it and continuing with the conversation?

Because girls never just cry. Once tears start flowing the conversation turns emotional and nothing can be done. Time to shut down the conversation until you compose yourself.

FYI
When men get emotional their logic centers turn off - this is not so with women.

Women's brains allow them to be crying their eyes out and still be as logical as they normally are.
Don't mistake crying for irrationality (unless they are normally irrational - but if that's the case you have bigger problems).

akula: mightybaldking: tricycleracer: "You want us to change, and then lose respect for us when we do."

Well, you do get the whole "OMG firefighters are teh sexy" followed by "Please stop running into burning buildings, baby. It's dangerous and I don't want to lose you."

And then she goes and bangs a racecar driver.


I seem to recall an article many years back that measured female sexual attraction. It basically said that when they're fertile, they want to bang the racecar drive, and come home to the accountant.

It's the alpha/beta male thing.

Alpha males get her motor running, but they can sometimes be frightening (or at least troubling) to be around. The kind of guy who does as he pleases with a devil may care attitude has a confidence that women generally love, but his woman never knows what's going to happen next. That can mean it will be exciting, it can also mean he'll slap her around or bang her best friend.

Beta males are very comforting for longer term relationships, but they just don't get her interest up. They're great for stability, the woman doesn't worry about him getting off the reservation, but there's just no fire there, nothing to get her excited or eager. She knows he'll be home on time and take care of the kids, but when she can get herself in the mood to have sex she's dreaming about some dreck like 50 Shades of Gray.

A guy who can balance the alpha and beta tendencies will tend to be most satisfying- confident and unpredictable enough to get her going, but stable enough that she isn't worried about what's around the corner.

I think you're deluding yourself if you think its that simple. I can relate better to what Peter O'Toole said, that he'd made a study of women for many years and learned nothing from it.

Egoy3k: As for the golf thing, again if she doesn't think this common she's a moron. Nothing bothers me more than trying to get a foursome together for golf and have to wait for the guys to ask permission from their wives or even worse have one bail at the last second because his wife is having an issue with him spending the morning with his friends. This applies to any activity that doesn't include the women. In all honestly this issue isn't the women's fault. This one lies at the feet of the pussy assholes they are married to or involved with.

I'm sympathetic to the anti-golf attitude women have. A full round of golf is 6-8 hours all in including transportation time and warm up and "cool down". That's half the weekend. It's not like you're going out to play hockey or baseball for an hour or so. It's an entire day.

susansto-helit: It's not deliberate, though. That's the thing. Crying is an involuntary response in some people. It's not designed to control the situation or to try to win an argument. It just is. Why are you guys incapable of just ignoring it and continuing with the conversation?

I don't know, why can't women recognize the difference between a frustration-inspired raised voice and "yelling"?

Guys are dumb. Guys are clueless and don't get it anyways. We don;t even get ourselves complaining about what we don;t like women saying or thinking about us....(yawn)..Same old same old

Women are hardly perfect either. They have their own built in ignorance too.....plenty of them

padraig: Strategeryz0r: 8. "You don't understand and/or like our need for alone time."

With, again literally, every girl I've ever been with my alone time is often time used to perfect my DJ'ing. Which is something I use as a bit of a side business for extra income.

I'm a very lucky man in that my s.o. does not fit most of those stereotypes (she sure do love to talk about her day, but that remains at a sane level), but the greatest thing about her is that WE BOTH NEED ALONE TIME.

So yeah, I can spend a few hours on my novel, videogames, reading a book or webbrowsing, because at the same time, she's either playing the guitar, solitaire, videogames or reading a book.

I envy you sir. I try to get alone time and if they aren't complaining that I'm acting "weird" by wanting to be alone, they're saying "well what do I do? I have nothing!"

I'm sorry.. is it suddenly my fault you have no hobbies or aspirations in life? No.. Maybe you should find some.. You know.. With your alone time?

glass_ibis: FYI
When men get emotional their logic centers turn off - this is not so with women.

Women's brains allow them to be crying their eyes out and still be as logical as they normally are.
Don't mistake crying for irrationality (unless they are normally irrational - but if that's the case you have bigger problems).

Bullshiat.

glass_ibis: FYI
When men get emotional their logic centers turn off - this is not so with women.


Okay, everyone point and laugh at Glassy.

mightybaldking: Egoy3k: As for the golf thing, again if she doesn't think this common she's a moron. Nothing bothers me more than trying to get a foursome together for golf and have to wait for the guys to ask permission from their wives or even worse have one bail at the last second because his wife is having an issue with him spending the morning with his friends. This applies to any activity that doesn't include the women. In all honestly this issue isn't the women's fault. This one lies at the feet of the pussy assholes they are married to or involved with.

I'm sympathetic to the anti-golf attitude women have. A full round of golf is 6-8 hours all in including transportation time and warm up and "cool down". That's half the weekend. It's not like you're going out to play hockey or baseball for an hour or so. It's an entire day.

Yes, because you want to get away for the entire day.

I'd make a joke about her owning a gaggle of cats, but me and my wife have four quadrupeds under our feet.

One was mine, two were hers, fourth we acquired together........

R.A.Danny: gamergirl23: The Singing Bush: gamergirl23: The Singing Bush: I think it's hilarious that she doesn't follow number 9. My wife is terrible about this -

Me: Where do you want to go to dinner?
Her: I don't know, I'm not sure what I want
Me: How about here, or here, or here, or here, or here?
Her: No, none of those sound good.
Me: Well what do you want?
Her: Why can't YOU make a decision?
Me - head asplode

This is why one should have a default food/drink/activity. If you don't care but someone really wants you to pick, you just pick that to politely prevent them from going insane.

Tried that - she'll come back with "but we just did that like 6 months ago"

I don't know. Have her keep a list of her favorite restaurants in the car with the dates you last visited them?

My rule: If you make me choose where to go, you shut up about where we're going.

Otherwise I'd be happy to work with you towards picking a place, but don't tell me to choose unless you're ready to shut up and eat some damn BBQ.

I typically say Taco Bell as a threat. Amazingly, she'll start figuring out what she's in the mood for.

Yanks_RSJ: susansto-helit: It's not deliberate, though. That's the thing. Crying is an involuntary response in some people. It's not designed to control the situation or to try to win an argument. It just is. Why are you guys incapable of just ignoring it and continuing with the conversation?

I don't know, why can't women recognize the difference between a frustration-inspired raised voice and "yelling"?

I can. I grew up in a family full of people who would yell when they were happy, sad, frustrated, mourning, bored, complacent, pleased, calm, whatever. Yelling =/= mad for me.