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(Jezebel)   Handy step by step instructions on how to oppress white people   (jezebel.com ) divider line 105
    More: Amusing, mental health professional, self-hatreds, Debbie Downer, white privilege, white people, banana republics, espresso machine  
•       •       •

4690 clicks; posted to Politics » on 03 Jul 2012 at 9:58 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-03 09:44:42 AM  
Oh, this should be fun...

/*gets popcorn
 
2012-07-03 10:00:47 AM  
"If they were here before you, steal their land."

...Detroit?
 
2012-07-03 10:01:07 AM  
1-4 seem to be Republican tactics... Are they the reverse racists?
 
2012-07-03 10:02:04 AM  

tira: "If they were here before you, steal their land."

...Detroit?


Walmart.
 
2012-07-03 10:02:24 AM  

sgnilward: 1-4 seem to be Republican tactics... Are they the reverse racists?


1-4? I'd put it at 1-10.
 
2012-07-03 10:03:52 AM  
This has to be one of the greatest examples of just how delusional people on the left really are.
 
2012-07-03 10:04:46 AM  

qorkfiend: 1-4? I'd put it at 1-10.


In their defense I missed the "Destroy all espresso machines" plank of Romney's platform.
 
2012-07-03 10:04:49 AM  

pdee: This has to be one of the greatest examples of just how delusional people on the left really are.


This has to be one of the greatest examples of just how humorless people on the right really are.
 
2012-07-03 10:05:01 AM  

qorkfiend: sgnilward: 1-4 seem to be Republican tactics... Are they the reverse racists?

1-4? I'd put it at 1-10.


It's true. Last week, Meg Whitman broke into my apartment and smashed my espresso machine. With a baseball bat.
 
2012-07-03 10:05:33 AM  
Should have had the Asinine tag.

/liberal
 
2012-07-03 10:05:38 AM  
You said thousand-count Egyptian cotton sheets twice.
 
2012-07-03 10:07:26 AM  
o_0
 
2012-07-03 10:08:10 AM  
Step 3: Close Starbucks
 
2012-07-03 10:08:35 AM  
...why are we looking at Karl Rove's playbook...?

blasphemousandoffensive.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-07-03 10:09:26 AM  

RussianPooper: Should have had the Asinine tag.

/liberal


It's pretty disappointing humor/satire. Historical context is necessary and current inequity context is necessary, and to deny the existence or effects of either is at best foolishness and at worst racism (yes, I just called you racist, conservatives for whom that statement applies. Lick me.), but the list is just a fairly humorless mishmash of circumstances reversed without much coherence. It doesn't offer many laughs or really promote a dialog.
 
2012-07-03 10:09:45 AM  
Finally. Proof that derp knows no ideology.
 
2012-07-03 10:09:46 AM  
Telling black people to go bananas is a little racist.
 
2012-07-03 10:10:18 AM  
Well, there's three minutes of my life I'll never get back...
 
2012-07-03 10:10:19 AM  
Cracker, please......
 
2012-07-03 10:10:31 AM  
How did this end up in the politics tag? It's a satire and nothing more. It's like a cracked link minus the extensive jokes.
 
2012-07-03 10:10:50 AM  

IrateShadow: Telling black people to go bananas is a little racist.


You don't want want to monkey around with racism.
 
2012-07-03 10:12:42 AM  
Wow. Someone actually typed that splashed pile of vomit on their computer. Then a website actually posted it on the Internet. Then some farker actually submitted it. And some admin greenlighted it. Wow.

/and here I am commenting on the aforementioned typed posted submitted greenliy pile of vomit.
 
2012-07-03 10:12:49 AM  
LOL... "The Black Girl Dangerous Writing Workshop is a workshop for queer, trans*, and gender-non-conforming writers of color."

That explains a lot.
 
2012-07-03 10:13:58 AM  

kid_icarus: Oh, this should be fun...

/*gets popcorn


I've already cleared my morning schedule.

Actually, despite being a Lefty McOpenminded I'm no a big fan of Jezebel or their style of social commentary. They're a good example of what happens when cultural sensitivity is taken to the opposite extreme. I can see they mean well but they craft their arguments in a way that causes more needless anger than thought.

/And stop trying to make "microaggressions" happen. It's never going to happen.
 
2012-07-03 10:15:01 AM  

pdee: This has to be one of the greatest examples of just how delusional people on the left really are.


Allen West is on the left? Just a couple of threads down, he says Obama is enslaving people.

/it's satire
//you farking imbecile
 
2012-07-03 10:15:21 AM  
Why does the author consider herself colored? Shes just black. Which is a kind of boring color in a fashion sense. White people turn blue when cold, red when hot, yellow when sick, black when sickness or infection kills cells.....
 
2012-07-03 10:16:20 AM  
Call them stupid. That takes away their freedom of speech.
 
2012-07-03 10:16:57 AM  

The All-Powerful Atheismo: IrateShadow: Telling black people to go bananas is a little racist.

You don't want want to monkey around with racism.


There is a lot of that sort of behavior around, and one should really try to avoid aping that sort of behavior.
 
2012-07-03 10:17:41 AM  
The cracker thing reminds me: I live in a semi-urban area in the South (live in suburbs, but work close to downtown) that is majority black, but know people from a few miles out in the rural areas who don't see anyone outside their immediate neighbors (all of whom are white) unless they drive 15 miles into town. I have never been called a cracker, whitey, and virtually any other deragatory term for my race (think someone called me a redneck once, but can't even remember the situation). Meanwhile, every once in a while one of these acquantences drops the n-word on a Facebook post or something (never heard it from them in person) and when called on it they defend it by saying they get called all manner of anti-white terms by black people all the time and nobody ever stands up for them against that hate speech.

I just can't imagine that this is happening, because who the hell honestly uses these terms? I'm waiting for someone to claim they were accused of being a jive turkey.
 
2012-07-03 10:18:05 AM  

The All-Powerful Atheismo: IrateShadow: Telling black people to go bananas is a little racist.

You don't want want to monkey around with racism.


People generally don't cotton to such things.
 
2012-07-03 10:18:20 AM  

The Great EZE: kid_icarus: Oh, this should be fun...

/*gets popcorn

I've already cleared my morning schedule.

Actually, despite being a Lefty McOpenminded I'm no a big fan of Jezebel or their style of social commentary. They're a good example of what happens when cultural sensitivity is taken to the opposite extreme. I can see they mean well but they craft their arguments in a way that causes more needless anger than thought.

/And stop trying to make "microaggressions" happen. It's never going to happen.


Think about this - FTFA.

Do everything you can think of to make it so that white people make less money; their children are shot by cops; white women are at higher risk for assault and they are exotified until they no longer seem human; white men are beaten and thrown into jails because they look "suspicious" and "threatening"; they are racially profiled everywhere they go.

They're ridiculing the idea of "reverse-racism" being some kind of oppression. Rather like the 80%+ of Americans who are Christian, but are somehow being oppressed just because they can't codify their religion into the law.
 
2012-07-03 10:18:45 AM  

The Great EZE: kid_icarus: Oh, this should be fun...

/*gets popcorn

I've already cleared my morning schedule.

Actually, despite being a Lefty McOpenminded I'm no a big fan of Jezebel or their style of social commentary. They're a good example of what happens when cultural sensitivity is taken to the opposite extreme. I can see they mean well but they craft their arguments in a way that causes more needless anger than thought.

/And stop trying to make "microaggressions" happen. It's never going to happen.


Word.
 
2012-07-03 10:19:20 AM  

tira: qorkfiend: 1-4? I'd put it at 1-10.

In their defense I missed the "Destroy all espresso machines" plank of Romney's platform.


The All-Powerful Atheismo: qorkfiend: sgnilward: 1-4 seem to be Republican tactics... Are they the reverse racists?

1-4? I'd put it at 1-10.

It's true. Last week, Meg Whitman broke into my apartment and smashed my espresso machine. With a baseball bat.


I interpreted that one as "against elite/liberal snobbery". You know, those espresso-drinking academic liberal elites.
 
2012-07-03 10:21:17 AM  

Grungehamster: Meanwhile, every once in a while one of these acquantences drops the n-word on a Facebook post or something (never heard it from them in person) and when called on it they defend it by saying they get called all manner of anti-white terms by black people all the time and nobody ever stands up for them against that hate speech.

I just can't imagine that this is happening, because who the hell honestly uses these terms? I'm waiting for someone to claim they were accused of being a jive turkey.


THIS.

"Cracker" is a laughable pejorative, much like "honky."

I'm waiting for a term for white people that's anywhere close to "n****r."

I'm noticing a lot of people in this thread are kinda sensitive. At least a couple of us understand what TFA is on about.
 
2012-07-03 10:24:26 AM  
Oh and just to clarify: yes, the article did suck hard. It just reminded me of the "blacks are constantly confronting and harassing whites" stuff I hear which just seems crazy to me having been in public with black people plenty of times.
 
2012-07-03 10:25:31 AM  

The Great EZE: And stop trying to make "microaggressions" happen. It's never going to happen.


You must be new here. It's OK - I think you'll see a shiatload of them in this thread.

Microaggressions can take a number of different forms, for example, questioning the existence of racial-cultural issues, making stereotypic assumptions, and cultural insensitivity. Some other types of microaggressions that have been identified include Colorblindness (e.g., "I don't think of you as Black. You are just a normal person"), Denial of personal bias (e.g., "I'm not homophobic; I even have gay friends."), and Minimization of racial-cultural issues (e.g., "Just because you feel alone in this group doesn't mean that there's a racial issue involved."). "Colorblindness" in particular has been associated with higher levels of racism and lower levels of empathy.

For example:

pdee: This has to be one of the greatest examples of just how delusional people on the left really are.

 
2012-07-03 10:26:40 AM  

Grungehamster: Oh and just to clarify: yes, the article did suck hard. It just reminded me of the "blacks are constantly confronting and harassing whites" stuff I hear which just seems crazy to me having been in public with black people plenty of times.


You also have plenty of black friends, I'm sure.
images.wikia.com
 
2012-07-03 10:27:33 AM  
Is "reverse-racism" the opposite of racism?
 
2012-07-03 10:30:12 AM  

tira: qorkfiend: 1-4? I'd put it at 1-10.

In their defense I missed the "Destroy all espresso machines" plank of Romney's platform.


It's obvious. If he can't have caffeine or alcohol, why should anyone else?

i.imgur.com
 
2012-07-03 10:31:36 AM  

rufus-t-firefly: Think about this - FTFA.

Do everything you can think of to make it so that white people make less money; their children are shot by cops; white women are at higher risk for assault and they are exotified until they no longer seem human; white men are beaten and thrown into jails because they look "suspicious" and "threatening"; they are racially profiled everywhere they go.

They're ridiculing the idea of "reverse-racism" being some kind of oppression. Rather like the 80%+ of Americans who are Christian, but are somehow being oppressed just because they can't codify their religion into the law.


I get that, and it's an excellent point to make. But my problem with Jezebel or their ilk is they have no sense of proportion. Even the most nuanced and sensitive topics are addressed by throwing the kitchen sink at it, damn what collateral damage might happen.

TFA starts out throwing haymakers:

White people who are confronted with their white privilege and the white supremacist acts they perpetuate have been known to cry

As a result they have countless well-intentioned white people, those who don't have a racist bone in their body and wouldn't think of doing the things listed in their articles, looking around and saying "Who, me?"

Jezebel's answer (whether they realize it or not): "Yes, you!"

It's not just this one piece. This is years of Millennials and late Gen-Y'ers finding their voice, taking one too many women's studies classes, and airing their grievances on the internet. It's great we have more forums for minority/female/LGBT/etc. points of view. But if you want to discuss mature subjects you have to be mature about it.
 
2012-07-03 10:34:35 AM  
In all seriousness, after thinking about it for ten minutes, what really makes this unfunny, is the cookie cutter way it frames oppression. It's like how feminists confuse a lot of economic oppression with gender-motivated oppression. Those who have are always dicks to those who have not, it doesn't matter the excuse they make for it. Just for giggles, this part:

"Also, there should be very few representations of them and when they're portrayed at all, they should always only be the comic relief, the silent exotic sex object, the Debbie Downer, or the incompetent sidekick. They are only allowed to be easily forgettable, one-dimensional characters. Sometimes use POC actors in white-face to portray these white people. By presenting this ONE image of them all the time, you will be able to convince the rest of the population that all white people are like this, thus ensuring a widespread belief in their inferiority."

I could easily put "gay" in there and it would read the same as "black" is supposed to read in your brain.

It's just so....boring.
 
2012-07-03 10:35:20 AM  

Sock Ruh Tease: tira: qorkfiend: 1-4? I'd put it at 1-10.

In their defense I missed the "Destroy all espresso machines" plank of Romney's platform.

It's obvious. If he can't have caffeine or alcohol, why should anyone else?

[i.imgur.com image 384x288]


Everybody knows robots are all mormon. From The Church of the Lithium-ion Diode-faraday Saints.

/'cept Bender
//because he's only 40% lithium
 
2012-07-03 10:39:26 AM  
Well that was a waste of time.
So I guess I am supposed to feel bad that bad things that I had no control over, happened but that I still marginally benefit from because institutions designed to favor one race over another don't die overnight.

/Boo farking hoo.
 
2012-07-03 10:39:34 AM  
"wipe out their traditions of eating mashed potatoes and meatloaf, playing miniature golf, buying khakis at Banana Republic, and sleeping with thousand-count Egyptian cotton sheets"

I lul'ed.

"Make sure most representations of them in the media are negative."

There were a whole bunch of incredible actors to come out of The Wire, and in almost every case, when the black actors found more roles, it was as thugs or cops or thug cops. Idris Elba, Wendell Pierce, Lance Reddick, Sonja Sohn, Seth Gilliam, Clarke Peters, and especially Michael Kenneth Williams. When they've gotten better roles, it has generally been because they were in another HBO production, Treme. Or they're miscast, like Elba in Prometheus. (I love to imagine him in Yaphet Kotto's role in the original Alien, and wonder if he would have been up to it.)

What I wouldn't give to see that group brought together to do Shakespeare.
 
2012-07-03 10:39:50 AM  
High school paper or National Lampoon parody of high school paper?

/lib
 
2012-07-03 10:42:15 AM  

Epoch_Zero: Grungehamster: Oh and just to clarify: yes, the article did suck hard. It just reminded me of the "blacks are constantly confronting and harassing whites" stuff I hear which just seems crazy to me having been in public with black people plenty of times.

You also have plenty of black friends, I'm sure.


Wasn't meant to be a defensive comment: I just meant that in my experience black people don't usually usually hurl anti-white terms around, especially not when speaking to someone casually and not arguing. One girl I know swears she hears "youse got a fine ass booty for a cracker, gul." whenever she's in town. I don't know if it's ever happened, but the idea that this is common and widespread behavior just seems ridiculous to me.
 
2012-07-03 10:43:53 AM  

tira: In all seriousness, after thinking about it for ten minutes, what really makes this unfunny, is the cookie cutter way it frames oppression. It's like how feminists confuse a lot of economic oppression with gender-motivated oppression. Those who have are always dicks to those who have not, it doesn't matter the excuse they make for it. Just for giggles, this part:

"Also, there should be very few representations of them and when they're portrayed at all, they should always only be the comic relief, the silent exotic sex object, the Debbie Downer, or the incompetent sidekick. They are only allowed to be easily forgettable, one-dimensional characters. Sometimes use POC actors in white-face to portray these white people. By presenting this ONE image of them all the time, you will be able to convince the rest of the population that all white people are like this, thus ensuring a widespread belief in their inferiority."

I could easily put "gay" in there and it would read the same as "black" is supposed to read in your brain.

It's just so....boring.


Or Jewish. Although, there are two tropes there:
-the barely-Jewish. Enough to make bagel/gefilte fish jokes, use a Yiddish word (farkhakta, amirite?!), have a whiny/oppressive mother, and retire in Florida. Bonus if the character is involved in a storyline about having to "fake" being a Christian (because everyone really wants some Jesus, even if only to fit in) or "fake" being religious ("Rabbi, I want to know if I can make my mother's bacon-wrapped lamb for your Passover seder this year").
-the VERY Jewish. Similar to "religious people" tropes (sexless, humorless, bland, boring), but it adds elements of "other-ness" (lookit the weird hats they wear!). Plus, you still get to say "Oy!" a lot. And everyone sounds like Jackie Mason.

Yes. Very boring.
 
2012-07-03 10:56:47 AM  

The Great EZE: kid_icarus: Oh, this should be fun...

/*gets popcorn

I've already cleared my morning schedule.

Actually, despite being a Lefty McOpenminded I'm no a big fan of Jezebel or their style of social commentary. They're a good example of what happens when cultural sensitivity is taken to the opposite extreme. I can see they mean well but they craft their arguments in a way that causes more needless anger than thought.

/And stop trying to make "microaggressions" happen. It's never going to happen.


Yeah, I'd be more sympathetic to feminist/minority/trans/etc issues, but you read enough and eventually you start running into people who use a Sociology 101 level terminology to justify their own bigotry in the name of equality.
 
2012-07-03 11:00:49 AM  

rufus-t-firefly: The Great EZE: And stop trying to make "microaggressions" happen. It's never going to happen.

You must be new here. It's OK - I think you'll see a shiatload of them in this thread.

Microaggressions can take a number of different forms, for example, questioning the existence of racial-cultural issues, making stereotypic assumptions, and cultural insensitivity. Some other types of microaggressions that have been identified include Colorblindness (e.g., "I don't think of you as Black. You are just a normal person"), Denial of personal bias (e.g., "I'm not homophobic; I even have gay friends."), and Minimization of racial-cultural issues (e.g., "Just because you feel alone in this group doesn't mean that there's a racial issue involved."). "Colorblindness" in particular has been associated with higher levels of racism and lower levels of empathy.

For example:

pdee: This has to be one of the greatest examples of just how delusional people on the left really are.


BTW, not to go back and kick a dead horse, but I don't doubt that "microaggressions," as Jezebel defines it, happen. I just question weather or not we needed a new term for it. Back in the day that type of behavior was called "being a dick" and it worked out fine because non-dicks could easily distance themselves from dicks by merely not "being a dick."

It's also worth noting that when someone used to "be it dick" it was obvious what they were doing. The definition of "microaggressions" is expanding every day, blurring the line between truly alarming racism and actions that are only considered offensive to the most sensitive and humorless among us. And with its close ties to white privilege (which I am willing to entertain as a worthwhile concept) we now have all white people on notice for maybe possibly unwittingly associating themselves with the truly awful white supremacists by committing a harmless faux pas. Unnecessary. Therefore, stop trying to make it happen.
 
2012-07-03 11:24:20 AM  
God almighty. I have voted for a Democratic candidate in every presidential election since my first in 2000, but there's just so much hyperliberal self-righteous "snark" that I can read. I'm sorry that I'm not a black Jewish lesbian. I guess that means that you can do or say whatever you want to me and I can't complain, because someone that looked vaguely like me owned your great grandparents.

F*ck.
 
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