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(WMUR New Hampshire)   You have custody of your two kids. It's midnight. You have an ignition interlock breathalyzer system in your pick up truck. You want to open a nightclub. What are you going to do, hotshot?   (wmur.com) divider line 47
    More: Dumbass, ignition interlocks, breathalyzers, trucks, society  
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9996 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jul 2012 at 6:14 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



47 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-07-02 11:01:30 PM  
Go to Starbucks and get a handy?
 
2012-07-02 11:06:01 PM  
 
2012-07-02 11:52:35 PM  
Is this a trick question?
 
2012-07-03 12:09:02 AM  
I'd probably ask what bus number it was.
 
2012-07-03 03:13:34 AM  
I'd wonder how all that shiat happened to me suddenly.

Especially the whole "wanting to open a nightclub." Why would I want to do that? I bet the insurance alone would be enough to give me an ulcer. Where would I get starting capital?
 
2012-07-03 06:16:30 AM  
Do you feel lucky punk?
 
2012-07-03 06:26:49 AM  
Yup, he looks like a career drunk
 
2012-07-03 06:36:01 AM  
Ignition interlock system????? What Farking dumbass would have such a device installed on their vehicle? I seriously doubt such a thing even exists!
 
2012-07-03 06:39:22 AM  
What are you going to do, hotshot?

The same thing we do every night, Pinky.
 
2012-07-03 06:43:25 AM  
Buffet: Ignition interlocks are used in some places instead of jail time for first offenders that have to work. It costs the offender to have it installed. My brother had one.
2 girls were killed a while back in the U.S. after blowing in the interlock for their father as the mother watched.
 
2012-07-03 06:46:57 AM  
If it were me I probably would have bought a pickup truck and not a pick up truck. Does anyone have a pic of what a pick up truck might look like?
 
2012-07-03 06:52:54 AM  

iucpa: If it were me I probably would have bought a pickup truck and not a pick up truck. Does anyone have a pic of what a pick up truck might look like?


visual.merriam-webster.com
 
2012-07-03 06:59:39 AM  
Blow .15 or above in QLD, you get an interlock.
 
2012-07-03 07:01:08 AM  
Supposedly, the newer models of these things have cameras. If it's not your face, no start.
 
2012-07-03 07:07:05 AM  
What are you going to do, hotshot?

I blow into the breathalyzer, start my car, and drive down to the nightclub to open it up.

Just because I have custody of my kids doesn't mean they're with me. Who cares if it's midnight? Seeing as how I'm not drunk, the ignition lock shouldn't be a problem.
 
2012-07-03 07:07:43 AM  
brizmos.com
 
2012-07-03 07:08:24 AM  
He's just a genius, genius.
 
2012-07-03 07:17:49 AM  
So you're telling me, that kids a good for more than just organ harvesting?!
 
2012-07-03 07:19:24 AM  
randommusingslady.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-07-03 07:19:29 AM  
I guess it's just fortunate that we're reading this story instead of "Drunk Man Kills Self, Kids and Whole Family in Car Crash."

Lock his ass up for a LONG time.
 
2012-07-03 07:22:57 AM  

grumpyoldmann: 2 girls were killed a while back in the U.S. after blowing in the interlock for their father as the mother watched.


So let me get this straight, is it A) blowing in the interlock is a capital offense or B) do you have to continue blowing for the car to run or C) by blowing do you mean b l o w i n g?
 
2012-07-03 07:26:16 AM  
Shoot them in the leg?
 
2012-07-03 07:35:05 AM  
Dumb headline.
 
2012-07-03 07:39:02 AM  
Why, that's just the sort of bootstrappy sort of dishonesty we're been looking for, son. Candidate Romney would like to have a talk with you about a career in politics.
 
2012-07-03 07:58:14 AM  

rkallister: Lock his ass up for a LONG time.


farm2.staticflickr.com

Not sure about elsewhere, but in Ohio they make you put bright yellow tags on
your car to tell everyone you're a convicted drunk driver. This guy could use
some.

/tl;dr
 
2012-07-03 08:14:20 AM  
Do the needful
So let me get this straight, is it A) blowing in the interlock is a capital offense or B) do you have to continue blowing for the car to run or C) by blowing do you mean b l o w i n g?


You had to blow it to get the car started and then every once in a while, the device would give a warning beep. If you didn't heed the warning beep, it would switch off the engine. IIRC, you had to pull over, put the car in park and give up another sample. They may have changed this in the past ten or fifteen years.

The wife had a friend with one of the first. You couldn't be on cough syrup or anything with alcohol in it.
 
2012-07-03 08:19:13 AM  

Endive Wombat: Go to Starbucks and get a handy?


Go away! 'batin...
 
2012-07-03 08:21:56 AM  
Shoot the hostage?
 
2012-07-03 08:25:21 AM  

Harry Freakstorm: Do the needful
So let me get this straight, is it A) blowing in the interlock is a capital offense or B) do you have to continue blowing for the car to run or C) by blowing do you mean b l o w i n g?

You had to blow it to get the car started and then every once in a while, the device would give a warning beep. If you didn't heed the warning beep, it would switch off the engine. IIRC, you had to pull over, put the car in park and give up another sample. They may have changed this in the past ten or fifteen years.

The wife had a friend with one of the first. You couldn't be on cough syrup or anything with alcohol in it.


It doesn't turn off the ignition, just LOUD BEEPING and an alert that you just violated your parole.
 
2012-07-03 08:26:12 AM  
*probation.
 
2012-07-03 08:28:38 AM  

Harry Freakstorm: You had to blow it to get the car started and then every once in a while, the device would give a warning beep. If you didn't heed the warning beep, it would switch off the engine. IIRC, you had to pull over, put the car in park and give up another sample. They may have changed this in the past ten or fifteen years.


Couple years ago, a close friend had to get one. I took her and the car to get it installed.
It's a real PITA

To start: turn the key ON, and wait for the thing to boot up.
Blow blow blow blow (wait for the beep) Suck.
If you've done it correctly, Start the car and drive off.
If not, try again. 3 fails in a row - disabled for 15 minutes.
After you drive off, sometime between 6 and 20 minutes, it beeps again.
You have 5 minutes to repeat the blow-suck (preferably after you have pulled over to the side).
Don't do it within 5 minutes, the lights flash and horn blows.
Assuming successful blow-suck, continue driving.
Sometime between 20 minutes and 1 hour, repeat.

Monthly, you have to go back to the monitoring station and the log gets downloaded.
Newer models have cameras attached. The images/video gets downloaded too, so they know if it is you doing the blowing.
Any tampering is an automatic fail. Including tape over the camera lens.

No mouthwash, no fruit, no medicine containing alcohol.

My friend destroyed her car in the DUI incident, so she had to buy another car just to have the required time with the interlock. No 6 months with the device - no license.

In Virginia, as of July 1, your 1st DUI = interlock device.
 
2012-07-03 08:38:40 AM  
Yankee Ingenuity


Pure, unadulterated Yankee Ingenuity-It's what made this country whargarblellkj ';liu;waerlkjh; gak



do like the Ohio Yellow tag thing tho- great target practice for police
 
2012-07-03 08:50:47 AM  
I'm pretty sure that every state needs party plates. I see someone with party plates, I steer clear of them. Plus they get harassed by cops all the time, which is fine.

Don't drive drunk people...it isn't hard. We have things called "Taxi's" in this country, you can call one. Or take a bus. Or have a friend drive you home. Or just drink your ass off in your own home. But seriously...don't drive drunk. How stupid do you have to be?
 
2012-07-03 08:59:32 AM  

InfamousBLT: How stupidaddicted do you have to be?

 
2012-07-03 09:08:01 AM  
"You want to open a nightclub."

What does this sentence have to do with anything?
 
2012-07-03 09:13:04 AM  

grumpyoldmann: 2 girls were killed a while back in the U.S. after blowing in the interlock for their father as the mother watched.


fap
 
2012-07-03 09:15:13 AM  

InfamousBLT: I'm pretty sure that every state needs party plates. I see someone with party plates, I steer clear of them. Plus they get harassed by cops all the time, which is fine.

Don't drive drunk people...it isn't hard. We have things called "Taxi's" in this country, you can call one. Or take a bus. Or have a friend drive you home. Or just drink your ass off in your own home. But seriously...don't drive drunk. How stupid do you have to be?


You don't have to drive drunk to get a DUI.
 
2012-07-03 09:15:56 AM  

GreenAdder: I'd wonder how all that shiat happened to me suddenly.

Especially the whole "wanting to open a nightclub." Why would I want to do that? I bet the insurance alone would be enough to give me an ulcer. Where would I get starting capital?


First things first, have the not drunk kid blow the breathalyzer, then sell one kid for starting capital, get the insurance and licensing agents drugged/drunk then film them having sex with the remaining kid and blackmail them. Any questions?
 
2012-07-03 09:45:28 AM  
You know who else had Interlocks that had to be Activated?

img194.imageshack.us
 
2012-07-03 10:01:05 AM  

consider this: [brizmos.com image 508x477]


Better, install a small air compressor under the seat. If you doing it for someone else, put in an inline oiler but fill with beer. Watch him get upset when he can't start the car.

/I would so do that to someone else
//I can't stand drunk drivers
///I heckled a coworker for two years over his DUI and I love watching DUI stops (especially live)
 
2012-07-03 10:17:34 AM  

lack of warmth: consider this: [brizmos.com image 508x477]

Better, install a small air compressor under the seat.


Nope, won't work. Bow blow blow blow (wait for the beep) suck.
You have about 1/2 second to start the Suck.
 
2012-07-03 11:20:42 AM  
Easy, just make sure your kids are sober prior to each car trip, then bring the kids along so they can get your car started for you.
 
2012-07-03 11:40:51 AM  
Investigators said the girl said she blew into the system five times so he could drive to a package store and gas station to buy beer.

Wow, five times? So the kid was lit up as well?
 
2012-07-03 12:37:21 PM  

YouPeopleAreCrazy: lack of warmth: consider this: [brizmos.com image 508x477]

Better, install a small air compressor under the seat.

Nope, won't work. Bow blow blow blow (wait for the beep) suck.
You have about 1/2 second to start the Suck.


Does the device pick up alcohol in the breathe on the suck? I think it would only be able to check the blow, but the suck would not be giving the device anything to register. A half of a second is enough time to switch from air nozzle to mouth, well unless you are truly wasted. Either way these devices seem like a waste of time since so many have figured ways around them and it has to be a pain to catch the reoffenders.
 
2012-07-03 01:15:58 PM  

lack of warmth: Does the device pick up alcohol in the breathe on the suck? I think it would only be able to check the blow, but the suck would not be giving the device anything to register.


Don't know, but I doubt that it registers alcohol on the suck. However, if you have been drinking, there would be some residue on/in your mouth that may be picked up.

lack of warmth: A half of a second is enough time to switch from air nozzle to mouth, well unless you are truly wasted.


From watching my friend do it, it would seem pretty hard to switch over, even if you were totally straight.
And the new ones with tethered cameras blow that concept out of the water.
 
2012-07-03 02:18:51 PM  

lelio: Wow, five times? So the kid was lit up as well?


No, but he's got wicked asthma from being locked up with chain smoking parents all his life.
 
2012-07-03 08:44:35 PM  
Why do the people who want to lead wild, drinking and drugging lives insist on breeding?
 
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