FARK.com: (7193011) Career test for kindergarteners in the works. You are raising a carny

If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

		Career test for kindergarteners in the works. You are raising a carny (hosted.ap.org)		71
		More: Asinine, entrance exams, kindergartens

• • •

3508 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jul 2012 at 8:48 PM | Favorite | share:

Share this link:

URL:

http://fark.com/go/7193011

Bookmark:

Article Comments close

71 Comments (+0 »)

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener		2012-07-02 08:27:11 PM

Which is all fine and dandy until all the test results come back as "astronaut" or "Super Mario."

Ed Finnerty		2012-07-02 08:47:28 PM

The good news? Your child grifts at a fourth-grade level.

Englebert Slaptyback		2012-07-02 08:49:55 PM

They have small hands and may or may not smell like cabbage.

Indubitably		2012-07-02 08:50:00 PM

*ctrl-alt-del*

;)

AverageAmericanGuy		2012-07-02 08:50:24 PM

I know a few kids who are going to be career criminals.

Or meth addicts.

You just have to look at the parents.

Oakenshield		2012-07-02 08:52:39 PM

Correction: Your raising a carny.

CraicBaby		2012-07-02 08:53:57 PM

When I was in kindergarten, I wanted to be He-Man.

Tali		2012-07-02 08:55:14 PM

One of my sisters is a carny. The fact that she's the sanest of my relatives probably goes a long way toward explaining why I get along better with my husband's family than my own. As for Sis... well... she smokes way too much weed, but she saves her money and has a nice house the five months out of the year she's off work, so I guess the carny gig's not all bad.

Englebert Slaptyback		2012-07-02 08:55:47 PM

AverageAmericanGuy

I know a few kids who are going to be career criminals.

Or meth addicts.

You cynical bastard, making them choose like that. This is the land of opportunity; why can't they do both??

red5ish		2012-07-02 08:56:00 PM

buckler		2012-07-02 08:56:40 PM

I read that as "canary". I thought about a person resigned to work in a cage in a mine as an early alert system for a toxic gas leak. Then I realized that may not be far from the truth for many. After all, some of us do exist simply to serve as a warning for others.

brap		2012-07-02 08:57:54 PM

I had Brap Jr. fetally tested. Apparently he's going to be Peter Pan.

Kanemano		2012-07-02 09:00:28 PM

Wait till they break out the chips

www.futurama-madhouse.net

HOT

Indubitably		2012-07-02 09:04:15 PM

Kanemano: Wait till they break out the chips

[www.futurama-madhouse.net image 640x512]

HOT

Exactly.

redqueenmeg		2012-07-02 09:04:32 PM

Breaking news: All Americans to have one of the following eight jobs:

Firefighter
Trash collector
Policeman
Doctor
Teacher
Ballerina
Train conductor
Astronaut

/I'll be an astronaut please
//oh, my eyesight sucks? OK, I'll be a teacher
///no rhythm, I'll never be a ballerina

Peter Wimsey		2012-07-02 09:05:19 PM

Oh my god! You know what I just realized? My roommate IS a carny, and she DOES have small hands!

skinink		2012-07-02 09:05:37 PM

"This test can't be right, Mrs. Grey It keeps saying your young daughter Sasha will become a porn star."

Indubitably		2012-07-02 09:06:20 PM

Indubitably: Kanemano: Wait till they break out the chips

[www.futurama-madhouse.net image 640x512]

HOT

Exactly.

P.S. Cyber-threats, aka itunes random, will be dealt with accordingly: cyber-poems!

P.P.S. NSSS. ;)

Englebert Slaptyback		2012-07-02 09:06:34 PM

redqueenmeg

Breaking news: All Americans to have one of the following eight jobs:

Firefighter
Trash collector
Policeman
Doctor
Teacher
Ballerina
Train conductor
Astronaut

I wanted to be... a lumberjack!

Indubitably		2012-07-02 09:08:06 PM

U def me whut?

Def con five, bee-yatch.

*bzzz-zap*

Kanemano		2012-07-02 09:08:21 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: I wanted to be... a lumberjack!

That's OK

orclover		2012-07-02 09:14:17 PM

When I was in Kindergarten, I wanted to stop being beaten every night and for the teacher to notice all the bruises.

World hasn't changed.

Earguy		2012-07-02 09:20:53 PM

In some ways I think it's cool, but in others I think it's a bad idea. I fear it would lead to pre-ordination at an age when the child cannot make decisions on his own.

Where now "I want to be a doctor" will lead to advice about hard work and the importance of studying, with such a test, it may simply lead to "don't be silly, don't you enjoy playing with hammers and building blocks?"

kenoshaillini		2012-07-02 09:22:17 PM

The College board/ ACT are ruthless as a "non profit" can be. This is about making money, not the children.

Fano		2012-07-02 09:23:37 PM

redqueenmeg: Breaking news: All Americans to have one of the following eight jobs:

Firefighter
Trash collector
Policeman
Doctor
Teacher
Ballerina
Train conductor
Astronaut

/I'll be an astronaut please
//oh, my eyesight sucks? OK, I'll be a teacher
///no rhythm, I'll never be a ballerina

Left out:
Cowboy
Ringmaster
Clown

(All jobs inexplicably mentioned routinely to kids while I was growing up)

jtown		2012-07-02 09:23:54 PM

Cooool!

/lousy sheriff

Harry Freakstorm		2012-07-02 09:27:21 PM

No. I am raising the best damn carny that ever grifted your grad student out of his beer money. Now your grad student is going to have to work some OT and sort the bathroom books out of the Barnes and Noble shelves.

DarkPascual		2012-07-02 09:28:37 PM

At that age, I wanted to be a Masked Luchador...

/Something between Randy Savage and Ric Flair with the mask of Mil Mascaras...
//Huh... gotta run to the CAW at WWE 12...
///I SWEAR THAT I INVENTED THE CANADIAN DESTROYER BEFORE ANYBODY ELSE!!!!

charttn		2012-07-02 09:31:03 PM

Englebert Slaptyback:I wanted to be... a lumberjack!

and I don't care.

Loucifer		2012-07-02 09:34:25 PM

I'm really hoping that ditch digging isn't done by robots in 2026.

Fano		2012-07-02 09:38:52 PM

Loucifer: I'm really hoping that ditch digging isn't done by robots in 2026.

Your job is to build and maintain those ditch digging robots.

BumpInTheNight		2012-07-02 09:42:21 PM

Kanemano: Englebert Slaptyback: I wanted to be... a lumberjack!

That's OK

You can sleep all night and work all day!

Mussel Shoals		2012-07-02 09:46:14 PM

History teacher Chuck Noblet: "Your aptitude test results are in."

Jerri Blank: "Let's see! 'Junkie whore.' Wait, I've already tried that."

-- Strangers with Candy

CAST
Chuck: Stephen Colbert
Jerri: Amy Sedaris

Richard_The_Clown		2012-07-02 09:55:33 PM

Hey, Subby!! As someone who has worked for Ringling Bros. all I have to say is... I resemble that remark.

Cybernetic		2012-07-02 09:58:47 PM

What a carnie might look like:

www.popcrunch.com

Winning		2012-07-02 09:59:45 PM

My school gave us a career test in 6th grade. I thought being a forklift driver would be fun so I chose all the answers that I thought would give me that job at the end of the test and I got it.

mr intrepid		2012-07-02 10:01:39 PM

BumpInTheNight: Kanemano: Englebert Slaptyback: I wanted to be... a lumberjack!

That's OK

You can sleep all night and work all day!

How's the wildflower collection doing?

Indubitably		2012-07-02 10:02:15 PM

Cybernetic: What a carnie might look like:

[www.popcrunch.com image 500x686]

Um, yes, please?

ka1axy		2012-07-02 10:02:49 PM

Winning: I thought being a forklift driver would be fun

Klaus?

WordyGrrl		2012-07-02 10:03:22 PM

Do those oversized crayons work on a Scantron?

Babwa Wawa		2012-07-02 10:03:29 PM

Half the boys in my son's class want to be ninjas.

red5ish		2012-07-02 10:03:40 PM

Mission Accomplished

Eustacia Vye		2012-07-02 10:07:43 PM

My son wanted to be captain of the Titanic when he was in kindergarten. Now he's in 4th grade and wants to design Lego kits, like all the other boys in his class.

Indubitably		2012-07-02 10:07:51 PM

Labels suck.

jim32rr		2012-07-02 10:10:56 PM

Indubitably: Labels suck.

Cpt. Jason McCord?

ArmasFM		2012-07-02 10:11:25 PM

Salmon cutter?

/Military strongman!

Aetre		2012-07-02 10:20:01 PM

Ah, I remember these tests. Didn't have them in kindergarten, though; I think it was fifth grade. Mine said I'd be an urban planner.

...Yeah, it didn't work out that way.

Also, I distinctly remember looking through all of the options, and not a single profession on the list was an attorney or lawyer of any kind. And yet they had urban planners.

mjjt		2012-07-02 10:21:20 PM

do any of these early tests, career or academic, have any predictive value at all?

had an idea that the marshmallow test was only one which predicted anything about what a 5 or 6 year old was going to be like 10 years later?